Tag Archives: Humor

11

The Cats’ Mother’s Day Dilemma

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Snoops here. We decided we should invite the new guy into our planning for Mother’s Day. It may not have been my best idea.

Snoops: Sgt Stripes, you wanna get in on our gift for Mom on Sunday?

Sgt Stripes: What’s on Sunday?

Snoops: The humans celebrate something called Mother’s Day.

Sgt Stripes: She’s not my mother.

Snoops: Yes, she is. She adopted you.

Sgt Stripes: What does that mean?

Snoops: She brought you in and let you stay here. She made you a member of the family.

Sgt Stripes: She’s not my mother. I am a cat. My mother was a cat.

Kommando: We know that. That’s why she’s your adopted Mom. She takes care of you now.

Sgt Stripes: I thought you said it was Mother’s Day.

Cute Photos of Cats and Kittens | POPSUGAR Pets

Snoops: It is. Once she adopted you, she’s your Mom.

Sgt Stripes: Oh. Is that why I had to get her a Christmas present?

Kommando: You don’t HAVE to do it. Don’t you want to do something nice for her?

Sgt Stripes: I guess so. The kibble is really good here. And I didn’t have to go out in the snow this year. That’s probably worth something. What are you getting her?

Snoops: We haven’t decided yet.

Cat and mouse - 9GAG

Sgt Stripes: We should get her something good. How about a mouse?

Snoops: I tried that before. She doesn’t really like them.

Sgt Stripes: But they’re yummy. And fun to play with.

Snoops: She said thank you, then threw it away.

Sgt Stripes: How rude.

Snoops: I thought so. Now I give them to our human brother. He seems a little more appreciative.

Lolcats - mothers day - LOL at Funny Cat Memes - Funny cat pictures with words on them - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny cat pictures with words

Kommando: How about a bouquet of fish?

Snoops: There’s no such thing.

Kommando: Are you sure?

Snoops: Pretty sure. I think they only put flowers in bouquets.

Kommando: What a waste. It would be delicious. Flowers really don’t taste very good.

Snoops: I think the humans only look at them. They don’t eat them.

Sgt Stripes: We should get her something she likes. What does she like to do?

Kommando: She likes to sleep.

Sgt Stripes: We could get her a blanket. I really like the blanket she gave me.

Snoops: She already has some of those. We need something unique.

Kommando: She likes to work in the yard.

Sgt Stripes: Let’s get her a mole. It could dig holes for her garden.

Kommando: Where do we get one of those?

Sgt Stripes: I’m pretty sure there are some in the back yard. At least  there were last summer.

Snoops: I guess that’s a possibility. But I think if she wanted one of those, she would have brought it inside instead of you.

Sgt Stripes: Oh. I hadn’t thought about that. Maybe you’re right.

Kommando: Maybe we could get her some yarn. Then she could make us a blanket.

Sgt Stripes: I like that idea! And yarn is fun to play with too.

Snoops: It’s supposed to be for her, remember? She’s seemed kinda stressed out lately. Maybe she needs something to help her relax.

Kommando: I thought cats were naturally relaxing.

Sgt Stripes: Yeah. What’s more relaxing than a purring kitty?

Snoops: Excellent point.

Kommando: So it’s settled. Our gift to Mom is going to be to let her spend time with us.

Sgt Stripes: Glad we got that settled.

 

Pictures (not of us) courtesy of Google Images

16

Kitty Yelp: What the Cats are Really Thinking

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We thought we’d take a quick trip around Kitty Yelp to see what’s going on. All ratings are based on a best of five.

Joe’s Bistro

Have been here several times (it’s close to home). The service is pretty good, but the food is very uneven. We’ve had excellent salmon and tuna. But the chef uses a LOT of beans. What cat likes beans? And the chicken always seems to be in sauce. We’re not huge fans of tomato sauce. Definitely call ahead to find out what the daily special is going to be.

😺😺😺

Battery-Powered Fish Toy For Cats | Apartment Therapy

Flopping Fish Toy

Have to admit I was excited when I unwrapped this fish. It was huge. I thought it was for cuddling, or maybe a kick toy. Then the humans plugged it in, and it started to flop around. It was so scary! I thought it was going to whack me in the face. Definitely not for small or timid kitties.

😺

Cat Woman 🙏 🇺🇦 🇬🇧 on Twitter: "Nah! Too energetic for this time in the morning ♥️🌈 #cats #CatsofTwittter#CatsLover #CatsOnTwitter https://t.co/XZuvco9VE9" / Twitter

Dr D’s Catnip Zoomers

The name says it all. These treats are pawsome!!! Eat a couple and you’ll be racing around the house, getting into everything. They’re a little pricey, but definitely worth the money (especially if it belongs to your human). Highly recommend.

😺😺😺😺😺+++++++++

CuddleSoft Electric Bed Warmer

It is definitely soft and fuzzy. But the buttons on the control are hard to push if you’re a kitty. And if the human turns it on at night, it doesn’t stay on all day while they’re gone. I would recommend not moving off of it once you get it warmed up.

😺😺😺

Toasty Soft Throw

It’s really furry. Very comfortable. Not big enough to share with a human, so make sure they have one of their own. Biggest plus is that you can step on the corner and turn it on. The longer you press, the warmer it gets. It is so snuggly!! You probably want one in every room in the house.

😺😺😺😺😺

Pet Camp | Overnight Cat Boarding San Francisco | Affordable Kitty Care

Happy Cat Boarding Palace

It ain’t a palace, and it ain’t full of happy cats. I was stuck there for a week. The humans were okay, I guess. But the name is a lie. They let DOGS stay there too. And dogs are noisy and smell weird. I tried to escape, but they lock EVERYTHING up. I made sure my humans knew what a mistake it was. I am NEVER going back there.

😺- because Kitty Yelp doesn’t allow zero happy cats

Pin by Voodoo Doll Creates on Cat memes I've made | Cat memes, Cats, Cat treats

Simon’s Mega Bucket O’Treats

It is a big bucket of treats, and pretty cheap. Some of them are pretty good, like the salmon and chicken. But some of the flavors are pretty weird. Not sure what “Field Prey” was supposed to taste like, don’t think it was supposed to be grass. There were also some yellow ones. I think they were supposed to be banana. I don’t know any cats who like bananas. I will probably stick with name-brand treats in the future.

😺😺

Now that's a cat buffet, that's how it's done : r/cats

Albert’s Buffet

We are NEVER going back there. They were so rude. We waited in line for a half an hour before we got to the buffet line. Then they told us that we had to use plates. What cat can carry a plate? So they made plates for us, and made us sit in a corner. Away from everything. And they gave us stuff that no cat in its right mind would ever eat. Like green beans and mashed potatoes. When we went back for more fish, they THREW us on the floor. We jumped back up, but then they made us leave. Seriously, why do they let cats in?

😺

Ma Maison

Inside living quarters. Comes with 3 beds, 2 humans, and a bed warmer. Warm and dry. Ample kibble and bits. Sometimes the food smells fishy. Minus points for making me lose my man parts and no wild game. On balance, would highly recommend.

😺😺😺😺

Pictures courtesy of Google Images (except us)

23

We’ve Been Invaded Again!

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Sgt Stripes here. My sisters and I are not happy cats. The two small humans are visiting, and we are not impressed.

Kommando: They arrived Thursday. And they have got so much stuff. It’s everywhere.

Snoops: Yeah. And there isn’t anything good this time. Apparently they’re too big for carriers and special chairs.

Kommando: But they are really loud.

Snoops: They smell kinda weird. And the stuff they drink smells kinda weird too.

Sgt Stripes: They sleep upstairs with me. It takes a long time for them to go to sleep. And they make a LOT of noise.

Kommando: They tried to eat our food. Mom forgot to take our kibble off the floor, and they ate it when she wasn’t looking.

Sgt Stripes: At least you got food. Mom was so tired last night that she forgot to feed me. It was horrible.

Snoops: You should have told her.

Sgt Stripes: I tried. I couldn’t get her or my human brother to wake up. I even tried nibbling on her arm. I thought I was going to starve.

Kommando: Did she finally remember?

Sgt Stripes: Not really. After she fed you guys Friday morning and came back upstairs, I cried and led her to my room. She finally got the message. I think it’s my worst night since I’ve been here.

Snoops: That is awful. She came down early to feed us so the little humans couldn’t get into our food.

Sgt Stripes: It’s a good thing she did. By the time she got back upstairs, the little one was crying. She put him on her bed. In my place!!

Snoops: You lost your spot?

Sgt Stripes: I jumped up on the bed after I ate like I always do when Mom’s home, and he was there! I had to get back down. I think he wanted to touch me.

Kommando: Yep. That’s exactly the same thing that happened to me later. I went to jump up in Mom’s lap, and the other one was there. It’s terrible!

Snoops: They have cats at their house, so they think they can touch us. We need to stay out of the way. No sticky fingers in my beautiful fur.

Kommando: I hope they’re not moving in.

Sgt Stripes: I heard Mom say it’s for three nights.

Kommando: Hmm. Nobody asked us.

Snoops: We better be getting lots of treats at the end of this.

22

A Very Gator Easter – Part III

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alligator with hat | Free Shipping On All Orders |

Where we are: Granny Gator is hosting the family Easter at South Padre Island, Texas. Uncle Stu is being detained at the train station after being accused of catnapping three kittens (Muffin, Zelda, and Dude Cat) on the trip from Florida (stopping in South Carolina to pick up Stan and his family). You can read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

Grandpa Cat: I demand that you arrest this filthy reptile. He was going to made a snack out of our kittens.

Dude Cat: Grandpa, Uncle Stu wouldn’t hurt us. He’s a nice gator.

Grandpa Cat: There’s no such thing as a nice gator. He’s a predator, and he needs to be locked up.

Angry cat is angry | SOON. | Chiaki Narusawa | Flickr

Stan: I knew it wasn’t a good idea to get mixed up with a bunch of cats.

Grandpa Cat: What’s wrong with cats?

Stan: You’re being hysterical. Uncle Stu wasn’t hurting the kittens.

Suzy: Yeah. If he wanted to eat them, he could have done that back in Florida.

Uncle Stu: I don’t eat kittens. That’s barbaric.

Wondering How to Talk to Your Cat? 6 Tips - Catster

Dude Cat: He was protecting us, Grandpa. So we’d get here safely.

Grandpa Cat: That’s ridiculous. Alligators are predators. I want him locked up.

The Security Dog came back, talking on his phone.

Dog: Yes, sir. They are safe. They don’t appear to be frightened…All right, I’ll let you talk to him.

Laughter as Golden Retriever Steals Owner's Phone Using the Pop Socket

The dog walked over to the cats.

Dog: I got your son’s phone number from the kittens’ carrier. He says that he asked the alligator to watch the kittens on the trip.

Grandpa Cat: Let me talk to him….Rufus, it’s your father…Yes, they appear to be fine…that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard…he’s an alligator…yes, I suppose that’s true…all right…Happy Easter to you too…love you.

The cat handed the phone back to the Security Dog. Then he walked over to Uncle Stu.

Grandpa Cat: I guess I owe you an apology. My goofy son says that he did ask you to watch his kittens. Said that he didn’t think anyone would bother them if they were with an alligator. Never dawned on him that you might be dangerous.

The Creature Feature: 10 Fun Facts About the American Alligator | WIRED

Uncle Stu: I’m not dangerous.

Dude Cat: Grandpa, I told you. He’s a good gator. He made sure we were safe.

Muffin and Zelda nodded. The three kittens walked up to Uncle Stu and rubbed against him, purring.

Uncle Stu: Good-bye kitties. Hope you have a good holiday.

The gators walked out of the station and took a shuttle to the resort.

What is a Group of Alligators Called? | Animals Pickings

Granny: I’m so glad to see you. I was getting worried; your train was due hours ago.

Justine: We had a little adventure. Uncle Stu was babysitting some kittens for the trip.

Danny: Kittens? Where did he find kittens?

Justine: They found him. In Miami Beach.

Danny: Didn’t anyone think it was weird that he was travelling with kittens?

Adele: We don’t really think anything Uncle Stu does is weird anymore. But the grandparents were not happy.

Stan: Yeah. I was afraid for a few minutes that we were going to have to leave him locked up.

Robert Irwin Shares Video Of Alligator Enjoying A Car Ride | ETCanada.com

Uncle Stu: I really don’t understand what all the fuss was about. The guy asked me to watch his kittens on the trip, and I watched his kittens on the trip. It’s like no one’s ever seen an alligator babysit kittens before.

Danny: I’m not sure anyone has seen an alligator babysit kittens. I get weird stares for studying birds. There’s an awful lot of folks who are afraid of us.

John: I know. Sometimes I hate to even use public transportation.

Granny: Well, let’s forget about all that and enjoy our holiday. It’s supposed to be a beautiful weekend.

Adele: That sounds good to me. I’m looking forward to Easter.

Suzy: I can’t wait to see my basket.

Justine: Remember a couple of years ago when we got chocolate alligators and platypuses? I hope we get those again this year.

The gators headed out to the beach to lay in the sun and relax.

Swampy's Easter Cards: This gator will be hopping down the bunny trail soon! | Gator, Bunny, Florida

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

18

A Very Gator Easter – Part II

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Why Are Alligators Showing Up on Beaches? | The Weather Channel

Where we are: Granny Gator has rented space on South Padre Island, Texas, for the family to spend Easter together. Uncle Stu was supposed to go to Stan’s house to ride with them, but thought he was going to South Miami Beach rather than South Carolina where Stan actually lives. The family is waiting for him at the train station. You can read Part I here.

Suzy: I hope Uncle Stu is on the train.

Adele: So do I. Everything’s packed. We just need to pick him up and get on the train to Texas. That way’s there’s no getting lost between the station and our house.

Stan: Stu said some big cats had helped him get the tickets. Hopefully, they were better organized than he is.

Adele: Only Stu would make friends with cats at a train station.

Police wrangle 9-foot alligator outside Florida apartment building – WSVN 7News | Miami News, Weather, Sports | Fort Lauderdale

Stan: I wonder how he ended up on a train. He said he was going to take a bus to our house.

Justine: That was before he realized he was going to the wrong place.

Stan: Good point, honey. The bus driver probably dropped him off at the train station.

The train pulled in, and it became too loud to talk for a few minutes. The gators scanned the arriving passengers.

Suzy: There he is! Uncle Stu! Uncle Stu!

Royalty-Free photo: Black alligator beside body of water during daytime | PickPik

Uncle Stu looked a little disheveled, but otherwise fine.

Uncle Stu: Greetings from South Florida! Good to see you Stan! Adele, you and the girls are as beautiful as ever. How are you all?

Justine: We’re great Uncle Stu. Glad you made it.

Uncle Stu: Glad to be here. I had no idea you lived so far away. I feel like I’ve been travelling for days.

Stan: You’re here now. Let’s get your bags and get on the road. We have a long drive ahead of us.

Uncle Stu: All right. They’re over there.

Cute Three Kittens, kittens, cute, cat, animal, HD wallpaper | Peakpx

He pointed to a suitcase and a bag. Stan started to pick up the bag. Then he dropped it and looked inside.

Stan: Uncle Stu, I think we have a problem.

Uncle Stu: What do you mean?

Stan: There are kittens in your bag. I think you have stowaways from the cats you met.

Uncle Stu: No, that’s Muffin, Zelda, and Dude Cat. They’re coming to South Padre Island with us.

Stan: What do you mean, they’re coming to South Padre Island with us?

kitten;s model train. | Cat training, Cats and kittens, Cat aesthetic

Uncle Stu: That’s how I met their parents. I was wandering around the train station, trying to buy a ticket to your place. I got in line behind these very nice cats. They were sending their kittens to stay with their grandparents over spring break. Turns out we were all going to the same place in the end.

Stan: Why did you bring them with you instead of having them go to directly to Texas?

Uncle Stu: I thought they’d be safer with me than taking that long trip by themselves. I didn’t think you’d mind.

Stan: Their parents weren’t concerned about giving their kittens to an alligator?

Uncle Stu: Why should they be? I’m a nice guy.

Alligator attack: Birthday party guest rescues Utah animal trainer | CNN

Adele: We know that, but you’re an alligator. We eat small animals.

Uncle Stu: Adele! I would never eat a kitten! That’s awful!

Justine: They’re so cute! We have to help them get to Texas.

Stan: I don’t like the idea of traveling with kittens. What will the other animals think?

Adele: We can’t just leave them at the station.

Stan: I thought you said you were helped by big cats. These are just regular-sized kittens.

What Are the Largest Cat Breeds? | Litter-Robot

Uncle Stu: Well, they were pretty good-sized cats. At least 10 pounds each. They bought tickets for the kittens. And they bought mine too, for watching the kittens.

Stan looked at the kittens, then at his family.

Stan: Fine. They can come with us. But I am not watching kittens.

Justine and Suzy squealed with delight.

Suzy: Oh, boy! I don’t know anyone who’s been this close to a kitten. They’re so fuzzy. Think I can touch one of them?

Adele: Let’s wait until we’re settled on the train. I don’t want to scare them.

Why This Alligator Lived in a Los Angeles Family's Backyard for 37 Years - ABC News

Stan had gotten a private compartment for the overnight trip. They settled in and let the kittens out of the bag. Oddly, the kittens didn’t seem to be afraid of the alligators. They drank some milk and curled up in a corner. Soon everyone was asleep.

In the morning, the gators woke up to find the kittens curled up with Uncle Stu. Suzy went up and nudged one of them to wake it up. The kitten arched its back and hissed. Suzy giggled.

Suzy: Aww, look! It’s trying to scare me. It’s adorable!

They got breakfast and packed everything up before the train pulled into the station.

Adele: What do we do with the kittens when we get off?

Gold Nutritionals for Cats - Fromm Family Foods

Uncle Stu: I guess their grandparents will be there to pick them up.

Stan: Do we know what they look like?

Uncle Stu: I guess they’re gonna look like cats.

Stan: That’s not really helpful, Uncle Stu.

Uncle Stu: How many cats will be there looking for three kittens?

Stan: I have a bad feeling about this.

Battle Ground Police Department suspends K-9 program - The Columbian

They got off the train and didn’t see any cats. The kittens were restless after being cooped up for so long and started to cry. Suddenly, the gators were surrounded by police dogs.

Dog #1: Halt! Stop right there and don’t move.

Grandma Cat: Check their bags. They’re trying to steal our kittens.

Uncle Stu: What do you mean? We’re not stealing kittens.

The kittens were crying loudly.

Grandpa Cat: I can hear them. That’s our grandbabies. Those alligators have stolen them.

Grandma Cat: They’re probably going to eat them. Help us!

Uncle Stu: This is a misunderstanding. I was bringing the kittens here for their parents. I wouldn’t hurt them.

Angry Cat: 14 Signs Your Cat Is Mad at You — Fighting Cats

Grandma Cat: He admits he has our kittens. Arrest him!

Stan: Calm down. We’re not stealing your kittens.

Dog #1: What are you doing with the kittens?

Uncle Stu: I told you. I was helping them get here from Florida. Their parents sent them with me.

Grandma Cat: Our son would never trust an alligator with his kittens. Arrest them!

Dog #1: I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to come with us.

The dogs led the alligators off to a side room with the older cats trailing behind.

Next week: Can Uncle Stu talk his way out of being arrested?

Man breaks into crocodile enclosure, gets bitten

17

A Very Gator Easter

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Everglades on Twitter: "Well, lookie here what we spotted roaming around the park today - A Florida Easter Bunny! Isn't he the cutest little thing?! 🐊🐰🥚🥕🌷🌻🌞 #evergladesholidaypark #easter #easterbunny #easterbasket #airboattour #everglades #

Granny Gator has rented a spot on South Padre Island, Texas for Easter weekend and invited the whole family for a vacation. Stan, Adele, and the girls have been looking forward to it for weeks. As much as they love South Carolina, it’s a little chilly for doing much outside during the winter.

Suzy: I am so excited! Only two more weeks until Texas! This is going to be great!

Justine: I know! I just got my special lotion to make my skin absorb more of the sun. I’m going to be like a heat magnet.

Adele: What are you talking about Justine? All you do is lie in the sun and absorb it.

Justine: I know. Mom. But this is supposed to make my skin absorb it better. I figured it would help me wake up from this semi-torpor we’ve been in.

Adele: Where did you hear about that?

Despite their thick skins, alligators and crocodiles are surprisingly touchy | Vanderbilt University

Justine: I saw it on GatorGram. A lot of the girls are using it. It’s supposed to make my skin softer and shinier too.

Suzy: You are so gullible. You really believe those ads?

Justine: I do. Here, let me show you.

Justine pulled out her phone and brought up an ad.

Justine: See. Just look at the before and after.

Suzy: That’s not an alligator. That’s a chameleon. And it’s shed its skin in the second picture.

Adele: Probably because the cream irritated its skin. You’re not using that.

Justine: Mom! That’s not fair.

Adele: Your skin is fine the way it is. You’re not using that cream. Some human probably developed it.

viral alligator photos | This alligator goes to work; netizens wonder if it wears pants | Trending & Viral News

Stan was looking at his computer screen.

Stan: Why are earth are we travelling all the way to Texas? It’s warm in Florida.

Suzy: We always go to Florida. This way we get to see something new.

Stan: But why Texas?

Justine: You can blame Cousin Danny for that. You know he’s trying to be a bird doctor, right? There’s a huge Birding and Nature Center in the middle of the island. Humans come from all over to see the birds.

Ecoviews: Why do birds perch on alligators?

Suzy: Yeah. Danny figured that if it’s good enough for all those humans, it’s good enough for us.

Adele: Ugh. I hate humans. They have germs.

Stan: Don’t worry. If anyone bothers us, Uncle Charlie and John can scare them off.

Justine: Yep. The meanest gator in the family and the biggest. All Uncle Charlie needs to do is growl and show his teeth.

Stan’s phone rang:

Stan: Hello?__ Hi, Ma. How’s it going?__ Really?__ Are you sure no one else can take him? __I guess if he comes up here it’d work.__ Yeah.__ We can take him.__ Don’t worry about it.__ Love you too.

Stan set down his phone, looking irritated.

Southern Charm at Jefferson Hotel Richmond - Travel Addicts

Adele: How’s your mom?

Stan: She’s fine. But Vinny can’t make Easter. Apparently it’s still tourist season in Miami, and the resort won’t give him the time off.

Adele: That’s too bad. We’ll miss him.

Stan: The real problem is that he was going to bring his dad.

Justine: So Uncle Stu can’t go? That’s awful.

Suzy: Yeah. He’s the most fun relative we have.

Stan: Granny wants us to bring him.

Adele: That doesn’t make any sense. Almost everyone else lives in Florida. They’re all closer.

Gatorland | Experience Kissimmee

Stan: Yeah, but Uncle Stu drives them crazy. And ever since our trip to Michigan, I’m his favorite. If he can’t go with Vinny, he wants to come with us.

Adele: That’ll add two days to our trip.

Stan: He didn’t want to put us out, so he’s coming here by bus. Then we’ll all go to Texas.

Adele: Why can’t he take the bus to Texas?

Stan: He thinks this is more convenient.

Suzy: Cool! I love Uncle Stu.

Alligator In The Road? Just Kick It, One Woman Decides | Baton Rouge, LA Patch

Uncle Stu was due to arrive the Sunday before Easter. When he hadn’t arrived by sundown, the gators got worried.

Adele: Where is he? I knew it wasn’t a good idea to let him ride the bus by himself.

Justine: He probably got on the wrong one and is almost to New Jersey by now.

Suzy: Or maybe he got confused and went directly to Texas after all.

Stan tried calling him, but got no answer. He sent a text to Vinny asking if he had heard from his father. Shortly before bedtime, his phone rang.

Can you take a cat on a train, bus or tram? | PetsRadar

Stan: Hello. __Hi Stu.__Where are you?__You’re supposed to be here.__No. We’re in SOUTH CAROLINA, not SOUTH MIAMI BEACH.__Yes, you’re right. That is a long way from your house.__I guess it was a misunderstanding.__Are you OK?__Are you sure?__Tuesday will be fine. See you then.

Stan laid down his phone and shook his head.

Stan: Stu won’t be here tonight. For some reason, he thought we lived in South Miami Beach. So he found our street address there. Luckily some very nice big cats live there. They’re putting him on a train north. He’s supposed to be here Tuesday morning.

Next week: Does Stu arrive in time to leave for Texas?

Florida pedestrian gator causes a stir in neighborhood

30

Ahh Spring! Tis the Season for Shedding

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Greetings. Snoops and Kommando (and Sgt Stripes) here. Monday is the spring equinox which means it’s the first day of spring. And spring means more sunlight here in Michigan. And more sunlight means more shedding. None of us are extremely fluffalicious, but Mom swears she could build a new cat out of the excess fur this time of year.

The last thing we need is another cat, so we decided to research productive ways to use it. It’s so beautiful on us, it seems like such a waste to just throw it away. Here are some of the best ideas we came across.

Cute Cat Wearing A Scarf Will Make The Post-Christmas Slump More Bearable | HuffPost UK Life

Knitting

If your human is willing to wear a sheep, why shouldn’t they wear a cat? The first step is to spin it, then card it, then knit it. Our fur can be turned into mittens, scarves, or even sweaters. It can be a fully do-it-yourself project with instructions from a book or video, or your human can send your fur out and have it sent back as either yarn or a completed project. Imagine being able to sleep on a blanket of your own fur!

DIY: Needlefelted Cat Toys - collage

Felting

If your human isn’t quite ready for all that knitting, maybe they can make your fur into a felt project. They just need to be able to clean your fur then roll it into a ball. They stick the ball with a need a bunch of times to get the fur to knot itself together, then they shape into whatever they want. There are books and videos with instructions. They can make felted toys, ornaments or jewelry. Your human can also find folks online who create felted jewelry from cat fur. Imagine how attractive your human would be wearing beads of your fur!

Felted Feline Fun Cat Toys infused with Catnip - Bear Creek Felting

Toys

If your human isn’t crafty enough for felting, maybe they’d still like to use your fur to make you some toys. All they have to do is roll a bunch of your fur into a tight ball or rod. Then they can throw it for you. But be careful you don’t swallow the toy. (We’re not too sure about this idea. It kind of reminds of us of hairballs.)

Is there fish in your pet's food? Chances are it's contaminated with crap | Poisoned Pets | Pet Food Safety News

Fishing Flies

If your human likes to fly fish (that is fishing for fish with flies not fishing for actual flies), your fur can help! They can use your fur for part of the fly. Tips can be found online. Make sure they share the fish with you. It’s only fair since it’s your fur attracting the fish.

Create a cat garden that you and your cat will love

Gardening

Who knew? Our fur is excellent for plants. Fur helps retain soil moisture and keep roots hydrated which helps regulate the temperature. As the hair disintegrates, it will release nitrogen which is good for plants. It is like an organic fertilizer. Hair takes a while to disintegrate, so it’s probably best considered a long-term fertilizer. In fact, it may be a season or two before they see the results. Fur is completely compostable, so your human can add it to the compost pile too and fertilize the whole garden or lawn.

Cat lounging in a birds nest. : r/pics

Share with the Birds/Small Animals

Most birds and animals that build nests love having a little fur to soften things up a bit. Your human will need to leave a bunch of it in the branches or thickets outside for the critters to gather. Or they can mix it with a bit of suet. (Bonus: They can put the bowl where you can watch the critters gather the fur.) Needless to say, you will not be able to help with this project. (Apparently birds have a pretty poor sense of smell and don’t realize where the fur comes from.)

Own Cats? Watch Those EVs! - Carolina Tails Magazine

Help Clean Up Oil Spills

Matter of Trust, a San Franciso-based non-profit, collects clean pet fur donations to create oil-absorbing hairmats and hair-stuffed containment booms (made from pantyhose). They are not always collecting, but they continue to use the mats and booms. Your human could make their own mat for use with small spills around the house or garage.

How To Manage Your Kitten's Shedding | BeChewy

Mom says that she isn’t sure she really wants any more cat hair around the house in any form, but maybe your humans will be more receptive.

Pictures (not of us) courtesy of Google Images

 

14

Timmy Squirrel and the Hunt for Daylight Savings Time – Part 2

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Squirrel School?...:) | Squirrel funny, Squirrel pictures, Cute squirrel

Where we are: Timmy and his young classmates have heard some humans talking about Daylights Savings Time. Now they are having a contest to see who can “save” the most daylight. They are chattering among themselves before class starts. You can read Part 1 here.

Ms. Hooper: Good Morning, class! I hope you were all thinking about our assignment. Has anyone come up with a way to save daylight?

Several of the children raised their paws, waving to get her attention.

Squirrels Can Be Left- or Right-handed | HowStuffWorks

Ms. Hooper: Timmy, it was your idea. Why don’t you go first?

Timmy: It was a lot harder than I thought it would be to think of ways to save daylight. I couldn’t figure out what you would keep it in.

Suzy: That’s silly. You don’t keep it in anything. You have to share it with everyone.

Timmy: You think you’re so smart. I figured that out too. I found out that days are different lengths different places around the world. So we just have to ask one of those places that have longer days to share some of their daylight with us.

Margy: Ooh. That’s a good idea, Timmy. You’re so smart!

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Timmy sat back down, grinning at Suzy. She glared at Margy.

Ms. Hooper: Okay. That’s one idea. Who else?

Ricky: I have some relatives on the West Coast. It’s light for a couple of hours there after it gets dark here. I’m going to ask them to send us some of their daylight.

Margy: I like that idea too!

Suzy rolled her eyes.

Snooze and you… win! Meet the animals that earned records in their sleep | Guinness World Records

Ms. Hooper: Margy, did you think of anything?

Margy: Well, I thought about it a lot. Sometimes, I nap when it’s light out. I want to figure out a way to save that time so I can use it when it gets dark later.

Ms. Hooper: Any idea how you would do that?

Margy: I was thinking maybe I could put it in a jar.

The other squirrels laughed. Margy got mad.

Solar and Squirrels: How to Protect Your Panels

Margy: Do you guys have a better idea?

Steve: I think my idea is actually kinda similar. I was thinking that the humans have something called “solar panels”. They’re supposed to trap the energy from the sun. Maybe there’s a way to turn that energy back into more sunlight.

TImmy: I don’t get it.

Steve: We could make reverse solar panels. Instead of trapping the light it would release more.

Timmy: That sounds really goofy. Definitely a human thing. My idea’s a lot better. Just get other places to share with us.

Squirrels In Winter | Cantu Pest & Termite

The squirrels started to argue with each other. Ms. Hooper realized there would be no way to decide whose idea was best.

Ms. Hooper: You all did a great job with the project and came up with some excellent ideas. I’m not sure we have a way to make any of them work, although it would be nice to have a little more sunshine. Let’s move on to our next subject. Does anyone know what season we’re in?

Suzy: It’s still winter, isn’t it?

Ms. Hooper: Yes, it is for a couple more weeks. What comes next?

Monique: It’s spring.

Squirrel in Spring - Desktop Nexus Wallpapers | Cute squirrel, Squirrel, Animal pictures

Ms. Hopper: That’s right. And what happens when spring gets here?

Suzy: The flowers come up, and the trees get their leaves back.

Timmy: And it gets warmer.

Ricky: And the days get longer.

Ms. Hooper: That’s right!

Timmy: Wait a minute! That means that we’re going to have more sunlight.

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Ms. Hooper: Exactly. During the spring and summer, the days are quite a bit longer than during the winter.

Timmy: So why do we want to have Daylight Savings Time now when we already have more daylight?

Suzy: That’s probably when we’re supposed to be saving it to use when the days are shorter. We were thinking about the wrong problem. We don’t want more for the summer. We want to save some of the summer sun for the winter.

Margy: Ooh. That’s tricky. Maybe my jar idea wasn’t so stupid after all.

The squirrels went back to chattering to each other. Ms. Hooper looked out the window and wondered how long it was until Spring Break.

Squirrel party | This is a group of 4 red squirrel siblings:… | Flickr

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

16

Timmy Squirrel and the Hunt for Daylight Savings Time

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Photographer captures the nutty lives of squirrels in snow | Mashable | Cute squirrel, Animals beautiful, Animals wild

Ms. Hooper had been looking for a new game for her class of younger squirrels. It was almost spring, and they were getting restless.

Ricki: Ms. Hooper. I’m bored. Can we go outside?

Ms. Hooper: I’m not sure that’s a good idea. There’s still snow on the ground.

Joey: But we’re squirrels. We like snow. Look at all this fur.

He did have a very plush coat. Suddenly, Ms. Hooper had an idea.

What Do Squirrels Eat? - AZ Animals

Ms. Hooper: All right. Let’s have a treasure hunt. Whoever can find the most acorns in fifteen minutes wins.

Sasha: What do we win?

Ms. Hooper thought for a minute.

Ms. Hooper: You get to choose our next project. I have two ideas, and you can choose which one we do first.

The young squirrels were excited. They loved running around outside. As soon as they heard the signal, they were off looking for acorns. They raced around the schoolyard, looking in the trees and around the bushes. They pawed eagerly at the snow, hoping to find some of the nuts that had fallen from the trees at the end of summer.

Ms. Hooper watched her class, surprised at the number of acorns they were finding. She hadn’t realized there would be so many. There were fifteen students in her class. She had planned on each of them finding one or two nuts. Finally, she called an end.

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Ms. Hooper: Okay, class. Great job! Let’s count what you’ve found.

She went from squirrel to squirrel, counting. Most of them had five to ten acorns. A few had found walnuts. The last student was Timmy, who had a sizable pile of acorns.

Ms. Hooper: Timmy, you did a great job! Where did you find so many nuts?

Timmy: I guess I got lucky. I was over in that corner by myself. And I was really fast running them back to my pile.

Ms. Hooper had everyone put their acorns in a pile in a corner of the classroom and sit down.

Ms. Hooper: I hope you all had fun. We’ve got a lot of acorns there. We can use them as school snacks.

N.C. Wildlife Resources Commission advises people who see young squirrel on the ground to leave it alone | Robesonian

Roberta: So who won, Ms. Hooper? I bet it was me. I got eleven acorns.

Judy: Nope. I got twelve.

Edgar: You both lost. I got fourteen.

Ms. Hooper: Sorry, kids. Timmy’s the winner. He found twenty-one acorns in fifteen minutes. I didn’t think there were a total of twenty of them out there before you started.

Timmy was grinning.

Timmy: Guess I’m the king of the nuts.

Everyone laughed, and he hesitated.

Timmy: That sounded better in my head.

Run squirrel Run | Warrior cats art, Squirrel, Animals

Ms. Hooper: Anyway, you won. Now you get to choose what we study next.

Timmy: Oh, boy!. Let’s study running around outside. We can see who’s the fastest and figure out why.

The rest of the class cheered. They started to get up.

Ms. Hooper: Back in your seats. I said that I had two ideas, remember?

Timmy: Rats! I forgot. I bet they’re not as good as my idea.

Ms. Hooper: I think they’re pretty good. It’s almost spring. We can study the trees or we can study the sun.

Timmy: Those both sound pretty boring.

The other little squirrels nodded.

Squirrel in Spring - Desktop Nexus Wallpapers | Cute squirrel, Squirrel, Animal pictures

Jesse: I know! I heard some humans talking about something called Daylight Savings Time.

Timmy: What’s that?

Jesse: The humans said that it makes it lighter longer in the day.

Timmy: Wow! So there’s more daylight? How do they do that?

Jesse: I don’t know. They must find it somewhere.

Timmy: I’m really good at finding things. I bet I could save more daylight than the humans. We should do that!

Ms. Hooper: I don’t think that’s what the humans meant.

Timmy: Then what did they mean?

SQUIRREL TALK #by Alla Gill on prime.500px.com | Cute animals, Squirrel pictures, Animals

Ms. Hooper: I don’t really know. Squirrels don’t really tell time.

Timmy: But wouldn’t it be great if we could find more daylight? More time for running around and doing stuff. I bet I could find more daylight than anyone else in the class.

The other squirrels started chattering. They were excited about having another contest. Ms. Hooper let them talk for a bit.

Ms. Hooper: All right class. I can see that you are excited about this. Here’s what we’re going to do. Tomorrow, you can all present ideas on how you are going to save daylight. We’ll vote on who has the best idea. Then we’ll talk about the seasons.

Next week: How the squirrels are going to improve Daylight Savings Time.

Squirrel Talk | Never A Dull Bling

Note from Wikipedia: Daylight saving time (DST), also referred to as daylight savings time or daylight time (United States, Canada, and Australia), or summer time (United Kingdom, European Union, and others), is the practice of advancing clocks (typically by one hour) during warmer months so that darkness falls at a later clock time. 

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

16

Behind the Scenes with the Easter Bunny

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When does the Easter Bunny come? Story behind the famous rabbit we celebrate at Easter - and when he delivers chocolate eggs | The Scotsman

Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday) and Ash Wednesday are next week, so Easter is just around the corner. We thought we’d check in with the Easter Bunny (EB), see how things look going into his busiest time of the year. Let’s listen in on a meeting at headquarters.

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EB: Hello, everyone. Thank you for joining me at the kick-off for the busiest time of the year here at EB Enterprises. I’m excited to welcome all of you. Let’s kick things off with a report from Raphael in Marketing.

Raphael: Good Morning. I’m excited to say that we are finally back at full capacity after the events of the past few years. We have a lot planned. First, we have signed an agreement with the folks at Holiday Heroes to schedule a full season of Breakfast with the Easter Bunny.

Thanks I hate this Easter bunny because it is creepy and will give children nightmares : r/TIHI

Jenny: Aren’t those the humans who dress up like EB at malls and restaurants?

Raphael: Yes, it’s a very popular program.

Jenny: But they’re so creepy. They don’t even look like real rabbits.

Raphael: I’m told they’ve been working on their costumes, and they should be a lot better. Hopefully, fewer screaming children.

Geoffrey: And there were those problems with the way they acted too.

Raphael: Right. Carrot mimosas are definitely off the menu. Humans cannot handle carrots and champagne. That was a disaster that we learned from.

The rabbits in the room nod approvingly.

Rabbit: The Other "Other White Meat" | Arts & Culture| Smithsonian Magazine

Raphael: You should start seeing them in stores and restaurants beginning next weekend.

Paul: Any plans for making EB more like Santa? More presents and more hype throughout the year?

Raphael: EB is not interested in becoming Santa Claus. He wants to stick with the candy and eggs with maybe a few small gifts thrown in. No major changes in direction. He has decided against a phone app to speak with children. Says he’s more a symbol of spring than a gift machine. He’s going to leave the big stuff to Santa.

Paul: Is it true that Santa doesn’t want the competition?

The Sketchpad: Easter Bunny on Santa's Lap

EB: That’s enough, Paul. Don’t start any rumors. Things are fine between Santa and me. I’m just not interested in a year-round operation like he is. Thank you for your report, Paul. Next let’s hear from Marcia in Distribution.

Marcia: Thanks, EB. It looks like it’s going to be a bit of a challenging year. Global distribution channels are still not fully back to normal, and some things are still a little pricey. We’re doing our best, but it looks like eggs may be a little scarce.

Jeff: How are you going to handle the shortages?

Marcia: We have a lot of connections. I think things will be fine. But we will be working hard right up to the very end to make sure we make and deliver only the best products.

Why do we have Easter eggs and the Easter bunny? - CBBC Newsround

Pierre: I’ve heard rumors that the chickens may go on strike before Easter to make eggs more expensive,

Marcia: I hadn’t heard that. Is it a reliable source?

Pierre: Well. My mother said her sister saw it on Rabbit Reddit.

Suzette: I saw it on BunnyBook. My sister’s mother-in-law sent it to me. She heard it from some friends of hers.

Marcia: I’ll look into it, but I’m guessing those are just rumors.

Ted: Do we have a guaranteed supply of eggs?

Where Does the Easter Bunny Live? Here's Where Your Eggs Come From

Marcia: We’ve never had a problem. We have suppliers all over the world.

EB: Stay calm, everyone. We’ll have plenty of eggs. And I don’t want anyone in this room spreading rumors about the scarcity of eggs. We’re in the hope business, not the egg business.

Josie: What about chocolate? Is there a shortage of that too?

EB looked surprised.

The Ancient Origins of the Easter Bunny | History| Smithsonian Magazine

EB: Josie, I’m surprised at you. You’ve been here long enough to know that chocolate is never a problem for the Easter Bunny. We make our own chocolate. We would never run out of that.

Josie: I forgot. After that mess with getting chocolate alligators and platypuses instead of bunnies and chicks two years ago, we moved it back in-house. Never mind.

EB: Finally, I’m going to turn it over to Jack in Rabbit Resources.

Jack: I just want to remind everyone that we have finished our seasonal hiring. I’m excited to say that we are fully staffed for the first time in three years. Apparently, on-site bunny sitting and all the carrots you can eat were the key. We have also added some tuition reimbursement and bonuses for our regular staff. We will be posting the new teams and schedules by the end of the day.

7 Things I Learned About Workplace Culture From Watching Rabbit Videos

Stuart: Who did the hiring? The last bunch of seasonal employees weren’t very good. And they didn’t last.

Jack: We were more careful this year. Almost everyone is a referral from a current employee or a successful former employee.

Stuart: And no dogs?

Jack: Unfortunately, we will not be bringing in any canines. The Easter Bunny needs to be represented by bunnies. There was too much stress having a potential predator in the factory.

Annabelle: He wasn’t a predator. He was just over-enthusiastic.

Stuart: He kept smelling me. It was unnerving.

Jack: It was a distraction. This year, it’s all rabbits.

EB: Thank you everyone. Let’s make this our best year ever!

He walks out to much foot stomping.

Bunnies Have A Happy Dance! And 6 Other Funky Facts About Rabbits - Modern Farmer

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.