4

The RHCCC: Talent Show – Part 2

Kelimcoons - New Hampshire Maine Coon Breeder

Where we are: Fluffy and her friends are organizing a talent show to raise money for the Crabapple Cove Public Library. See Part 1 here. They are hoping to showcase the talents of a screech owl they met during auditions for a previous fundraiser for the Crabapple Cove Center for Abandoned/Feral Cats.

The ladies arrived early to finish the preparations for the talent show. Bella had arranged for three of the library’s biggest supporters to be judges. They took their seats in front of the stage as the theater filled up.

Just 13 Cats Who Are More Judgmental Than Your Mother - I Can Has  Cheezburger?

Bella: This is so exciting! We’ve never had a talent show before.

Miki: How many acts did you find?

Fluffy: We have 10 different acts. Something for everyone.

Daphne: Is the little owl performing?

Fluffy: Olivia? Yes, she’s here. She was so excited to be asked. I hope the audience likes her.

How to Write Data Analysis Reports. Lesson 2—Know Your Audience. | Stats  With Cats Blog

Bella: We sold all of the tickets. It’s going to be great!

Miki: It’s time to get going.

Fluffy walked on stage and welcomed everyone. She introduced the judges and welcomed the first act onto the stage.

Fluffy: We’re opening our show tonight with Ellie Elephant singing a medley from the musical “Cats”. We hope you enjoy it.

Elephants "Singing" with Piano in Their Own Way - YouTube

Ellie was very good and the audience loved her performance. She was followed by some tap-dancing penguins and a wolf doing a dramatic reading from “Hamlet.” There was a slight pause in the activities when the bunny who was going to tap dance got stage fright and fainted.

Judge 1: Is she OK?

Miki: She’s fine. Just a little nervous.

Judge 2: Does she want to perform? We can just move her to a later spot in the program if she’d like.

Miki: She’s ready to go now if everyone is ready.

PsBattle: Rabbit on his hind legs : photoshopbattles

The bunny made it through her routine and was rewarded with a standing ovation. She was followed by dog acrobats, two cats singing a duet, and a juggling monkey.

Bella: This was a great idea, Fluffy! I love it.

Daphne: The library should be thrilled. Who’s next?

Fluffy: It’s Olivia’s turn. I’m keeping my paws crossed that there are some screech lovers in the audience.

Wallpaper Two owls, birds 2560x1600 HD Picture, Image

Olivia walked up to the microphone and nervously introduced herself. She began her song, and the audience sat politely, listening. Suddenly another owl walked up on stage and began to sing with her. They were apparently singing to each other. When the song end, the audience seemed a little stunned by the sound. Before the audience could react, the new owl walked up to the microphone.

Owl: Thank you for allowing me to join Olivia onstage. She was a little nervous, and I wanted tonight to be special for her.

He walked over to Olivia and began speaking.

Two owls, one a little bit more enthusiastic than the other : pics

Owl: Olivia, I know how much you want to be a singer. I came because I want to be a part of your dreams too. I love you, Olivia. Will you marry me?

The audience started clapping and cheering. Olivia was crying and nodding. They stood on the stage for a few moments, hugging.

Bella: That is so romantic! I can’t believe we got to see a proposal.

Fluffy (walking onstage): Congratulations! We all wish you the best.

Fluffy hugged the happy couple and escorted them offstage. She then returned to introduce the final two acts, gymnastic squirrels and another cat vocalist. Finally, it was time to announce the winner.

Kitten Climbing into Trophy' Photographic Print - Pat Doyle |  AllPosters.com | Cats and kittens, Kitten, Cat photo

Fluffy: Tonight has been so exciting! All these wonderful performers and an engagement! The judges had a hard job deciding who should get the trophy, and who the two runners-up should be. Third place has been awarded to Stella Rabbit for her dancing. Second place goes to Maria Manx for her rendition of “Ave Maria.” The winner of the talent show is Ellie Elephant!

Ellie walked to the center of the stage to pick up her trophy.

Ellie: Thank you all very much. I’m glad you enjoyed my performance.

The lady cats turned around to see if Olivia was disappointed that she didn’t win, but discovered that she was beaming and clapping.

Olivia: I’m so happy! I don’t think that non-owl audiences really appreciate my talent. But Owen does, and that’s all that matters right now.

The cats left the empty theater, basking in their success.

Happy face | Cats, Cute animals, Kittens

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

20

Flowers are Not for Eating

Do You Think Plants Should Have Warning Labels for Cat Owners? - Catster

Spring is here. Pretty soon all of those yummy-looking flowers are going to be back. We just want to remind you that flowers are for looking (and smelling), not for eating. They might feel good going into your mouth, but your tummy won’t be happy. In fact, some flowers can poison us. They make us really sick and some can even kill us.

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If you put something in your mouth, and your mouth starts to burn, SPIT IT OUT! Mouth irritation and lots of drool are the first signs that something is not right. Usually, if it’s bad for us, our systems try to get rid of it as quickly as possible either by vomiting or diarrhea. Neither one is a lot of fun, and our internal organs can get injured while the poison is inside of us.

Important Note: We don’t even have to swallow the flower to get sick. Chewing on it can cause a problem.

For Cats Lilies are Attractive and Toxic Just Cats Veterinary Clinic -  Veterinarian in Saratoga, NY, USA

AVOID THESE FLOWERS: Some of the flowers that are really bad for us are lilies, daylilies, daffodils, hyacinths, kalanchoe, azaleas, hydrangeas, tulips, oleander, lily of the valley, and chrysanthemums. If you are invited for Easter dinner somewhere, the Easter Lily is NOT an appetizer.

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Some flowers may make us sick to our tummies, but are not known to cause lasting damage. They include lilacs, roses, sunflowers, petunias, camellias, snapdragons, and daisies. Note: Persian lilacs (Melia genus) are poisonous.

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Some points to consider before dining on a flower:

  • Lilacs taste bitter. We’d recommend you find something tastier.
  • Roses have thorns. Why risk tearing your delicate mouth?
  • Humans seem to be rather attached to their flowers. You may upset your human if you eat them.
  • We’re carnivores. Flowers are not meat.

Why Cats Jump & How to Control It | Hill's Pet

Talk to your human, and request that they not bring poisonous flowers into the house. We cats all have cat magic and can get to places the humans think are “cat-proof.” Sometimes, curiosity gets the best of us.

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If you go outside, we recommend avoiding all flowers just to be safe.

Wallpaper : cat, grass, plants, leaves 1920x1200 - - 1026519 - HD  Wallpapers - WallHere

We are only providing an example of problem flowers as a reminder of the danger. Your human should always be alert to the possible danger of bringing new plants into a house where you and your furry siblings live.

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Finally, if you live in the US, make sure your human has the number to the Pet Poison Helpline: 855-764-7661 and ASPCA Poison Control: 888-426-4435. They can call those numbers for help if your vet is not immediately available.

59 Cats in flowerpots ideas | cats, crazy cats, cats and kittens

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

10

OMC! The Cats Have a Phone

Cat Phone GIFs | Tenor

Not really. But we did get to see a list of some of the abbreviations humans use on their phones. Some of them are pretty funny, and some of them are kind of lame. But we thought that we might be able to adapt some of them for ourselves. First is what you humans say, second is how we plan to use it.

ASAP – As Soon as Possible – needs to be replaced with RN (below)

BEG – Big Evil Grin – we like this one the way it is

BRB – Be Right Back – we’d like to use this with our humans. It would mean “Don’t move. I’ll be back in less than a couple of hours and will continue to want your undivided attention

44+] Cats in Snow Wallpaper on WallpaperSafari

CTWN – we made this one up – Change the Weather Now – for when the weather is too nasty to go out or is too bad for decent cat TV

DIY – Do it Yourself – seems like it will really come in handy if the humans are silly enough to ask us to do something

IDK – I Don’t Know – seems useless. Cats always know.

ILY – I Love You – We don’t really have a problem with it. We prefer ITY – I Tolerate You, particularly when it comes to all but our very favorite human(s) and other creatures

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IMO – In My Opinion – seems kind of silly. We’re cats. Who else’s opinion would we care about?

LOL – Laugh Out Loud – cats don’t really laugh (See BEG). We prefer MOL – Meow Out Loud – to be used when we think something is amusing

NA – Not Available – We prefer OTB. But if you want to be delicate, this is an acceptable substitute

NP – No Problem – apparently humans use this when someone asks them to do something and they will do it. We like the concept. We’ll get around to whatever at some undefined point in the future

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OMG – Oh my Goodness – no cat would ever say that. We’d say OMC – Oh my Cats

OTB – we made this one up – On the Box – it means DO NOT DISTURB

POS – Parents Over Shoulder – this is dumb, we don’t care if other cats are around. We prefer HOS – Human Over Shoulder – to be used when on Amazon, in the treats, etc. and the human is spotted

RN – Right Now – we like the concept. Is there a way to make it stronger?

Silver Vine: A Popular Alternative to Catnip • The Catnip Times

ROFL – Rolling on the Floor Laughing – we would not do this on the floor. We prefer ROFM/ROFP – Rolling on the Floor Meowing/Purring – to be used when extremely contented

TBH – To Be Honest – we don’t need this; cats are always honest

TGIF – Thank Goodness it’s Friday – we don’t care what day of the week it is. We prefer TGIS – Thank Goodness it’s Snacktime – to be used when we really need a break

Image result for cat meme i heard the word snacks | Cute cats, Cute  animals, Cats and kittens

TTYL – Talk to You Later – we don’t really talk. We prefer MTYL – Meow to You Later. To be used with friends

YOLO – You Only Live Once – we have nine lives. We prefer YOLNT – You Only Live Nine Times

Now we have to get on Amazon to get those phones.

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Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

17

Tummy Time with Thunder K. Katt

Greetings! Welcome to Tummy Time with Thunder! In today’s blog, I’m going to educate our humans on feline tummy facts- from digestion to fur, it’ll all be here! Before we get started, I must make a disclaimer for any kitties who’s humans have a human kitten- humans have a very weird idea of “tummy time”. It is not, in fact, a time where you place your human kitten on their tummy so they learn to crawl. I’m not pawsitive how this misconception became widespread, but I’ve had to break my humans of this habit- so I thought I’d let everyone else know prior to developing weird ideas. With that being said, let’s jump in so we can learn more wonderful facts about us already beautiful creatures!

First thing first: all cats love eating. My purrsonal motto is eat, nap, play. However, as with any creature, there are good things to feed your kitty, and foods that could harm us. Some treats to give us include fish (tuna needs to be given in limited quantities); chicken; beef; liver (in limited quantities); eggs; berries; bananas; melons; apples (make sure there are no seeds on the apple); sweet potatoes; carrots; lettuce; squash (including pumpkin); green beans; and zucchini. Foods you want to avoid giving your feline friend are lactose based foods (kittens being the exception; kittens need milk for the first three weeks of their lives); raw fish; bones; alcohol; stone fruits (such as peaches, cherries, apricots, nectarines, or plums); caffeine; citrus; grapes and raisins; garlic; onion; chocolate; potatoes; raw bread dough; macadamia nuts; mushrooms; fat trimmings; and xylitol (a sweetener found in some peanut butters, gums, and sodas). If you want to give your kitty a dairy like treat, opt for dairy flavored cat treats, or cat milk. Most cats do not have taste buds that can comprehend the sweet flavor, so don’t feel obligated to provide sweet foods for your cat unless they’ve established a liking for them. 

Cats are obligate carnivores, and should not fast (if anyone tries to get their cat to fast, that just seems evil. Mom let our dry food run out for a whole work shift one time, and we almost starved to death). Although cats can have some veggies and grains, their diets should consist primarily of meat. 

Now, I’m going to talk about the actual digestive system and process of us cats. Though our process is undoubtedly superior to humans, there are some intricacies that everyone should be aware of that I’ll highlight here. 

The digestive system of a cat consists of seven parts: the mouth; esophagus; stomach; duodenum (which is a fancy way of saying gallbladder, pancreas, and liver); small intestine; large intestine; and rectum. The duodenum absorbs what can not be digested through the stomach and intestines, including bacteria, fats, sugars, and proteins. These components are either stored and converted into insulin, or discarded as waste. The average time a cat takes to digest a meal is around 20 hours.

Cats don’t chew in a sense typical to humans; though our jaws can open much wider than a human jaw, it cannot move from side to side, an essential part to how humans chew. Instead, cats grab chunks of food with their tongues, and use their tongue and saliva to shred the chunks of food. Once the shredded food is in our tummies, our stomach acid is strong enough to dissolve bones; therefore, we mostly digest liquid. 

Cats are unable to synthesize certain required nutrients, including fatty acids, taurine, vitamin A, and vitamin D. Because of this, cats require a higher level of protein in their diets, because proteins break down into 11 essential amino acids, including taurine. A lack of taurine can lead to retinal degeneration and heart issues. 

Cats don’t have the ability to store carbohydrates like humans do. Because of this, crude fats, fatty acids, and fibers are vital to moving the digestive process along, including nutrient distribution. 

Cats are hunters, not scavengers. This means we prefer fresh foods, and why we turn our noses up at aged offerings. Additionally, cats are experts at knowing what nutrients their bodies need, and we will select or reject food based off of these needs. We’re not being finicky- we’re being healthy! 

The last (and best) part of my blog is going to be focusing on our beautiful tummies and furs! If a cat shows you their tummy, this means they trust you completely. The highest degree of this compliment is if we fall asleep tummy side up- this means we are so comfortable around you and our environment, that we trust you to keep us safe from any dangers- including protecting the vital organs that lay just beneath the surface of our tummy skins. Please keep in mind, even if a cat shows you their tummy, this does not mean they want tummy rubs! If you’re heart set on rubbing that furry tummy, please come in from the side, as a direct swoop down can mimic an attack to cats. 

You may have noticed a low hanging furry pouch from your cat’s tummy, near their hind legs. This isn’t a result of too many treats- this is called a primordial pouch. This pouch is made of excess skin and fat, and is used to not only store food, but can also provide extra protection, and facilitate stretching and movement. Breeds more likely to have these pouches are cats used to cold weather, and Pixie Bobs, Egyptian Maus, Persians, Japanese Bobtails, and Bengals. 

Like humans, cats can have different textures and lengths of furs on our tummies (as well as the rest of our body). Some cats have curly furs, while others have straight. Breed and length of fur contribute to whether or not your tummy furs curl or not; the longer the fur, the more likely you are to curl. Heat and humidity also contribute to this. 

The only time you should notice your cat losing tummy fur is if it’s excessively hot, if your cat is pregnant or lactating, or if your cat is aging (this typically happens between 10-15 years of age). If you notice fur loss outside of these reasons, or if your cat is losing fur rapidly or in patches, get your cat to a vet. You should never notice a bald or thin spot on your cat’s tummy. 

This concludes Tummy Time with Thunder! Hopefully you learned a little about our tummies, both the inside and out! And remember, if your cat doesn’t like tummy rubs, feel free to swing by Michigan; my sister, Gypsy, and I happen to love tummy rubs, and will take all you can give! 

Furs and purrs,

Thunder K. Katt.

14

The RHCCC: Talent Show – Part 1

The World's Most Famous Library Cat | Cats, Cat books, Bookstore cats

You can see the introduction to The Real House Cats of Crabapple Cove here.

Fluffy loved her position as the unofficial social director of Crabapple Cove. The only real downside was that it seemed like half of her life was spent trying to raise money for one worthy cause or another. She liked to try innovative ideas, but sometimes they just didn’t work.

3 Reasons Why Cat People Are The Best Kind Of People.

One example was the mess she was looking at just now. Someone had suggested a mini carnival to raise money for the Crabapple Cove Public Library. Living in Maine, she had some concerns about the weather so they were holding it in the high school gym. Fluffy had attended a private school. She didn’t realize that high school gyms have a “special” smell. Luckily, she seemed to be the only one who noticed.

The Dangers of Strings, Ribbons, and Yarn for Cats

On the other hand, why had she allowed the yarn-ball pit? It had seemed like a good idea when someone suggested it. Large balls of yarn in a huge basket for the kittens to jump around in. She didn’t have kittens. How was she supposed to know that they would start jumping on top of each other? Or that their mothers would get so upset that their little puff-balls got jumped on?

Lolcats - whack a mole - LOL at Funny Cat Memes - Funny cat pictures with  words on them - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny cat pictures with

Whack-a-Mouse wasn’t going as planned either. What type of weirdo would assume that she was going to provide real mice for them to wallop?

Image result for cat meme i heard the word snacks | Cats, Cute animals, Pets

The snacks seemed a little off too. Who knew that Mousie Krunchies wouldn’t have real mouse in them? Or that some people would expect high-grade free-range poultry in the moist treats? Everyone knows they are the best, but we’re trying to make money. Those snacks are really expensive.

Tumblr User Explain Why Cats Are Obsessed With Eating Bread | Bored Panda

The baked-goods table was a disaster. She finally had to kick out the kid who kept licking the cream off the salmon mousse. And who knew that you couldn’t have catnip-infused cookies inside a public school? Strangest of all, why did some of them think their entry ticket entitled them to a free snack of their choosing?

Cleaning the bathroom | Cat work, Cat memes, Cats

Fluffy went over to talk to Bella, who had been taking tickets.

Fluffy: This is a disaster.

Bella: I’m afraid you’re right. One of the moms is threatening to sue over the yarn-ball pit.

Daphne and Miki walked up.

Daphne: Don’t worry. I took care of that. She was fine once her kitten stopped crying.

Miki: You’re still not going to make much. Once word got out about the snacks and ‘nip, cats decided they didn’t want to bother coming out.

Bella: What do we do now?

Fluffy: Let me think about it. Right now, we need to make sure everything is cleaned up. I don’t think I ever want to see this room again, but I don’t want them banning me either.

My cat sleeps constantly, when should I worry? | Memphis Emergency Vet

Fluffy went home and slept for a few hours. When she woke up, she had an idea that she chatted to her friends:

Image - 27970] | Itteh Bitteh Kitteh Committeh | Know Your Meme

Brainstorm! Remember that little screech owl who auditioned for us a while ago? She sang horribly, but was so sweet we wanted to help her somehow? I’m going to put on a talent show for the library. Maybe she can connect with someone who will help her. Round up everyone you know with an actual talent, and we’ll get things rolling.

KKPS: a talent show? - Lolcats - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny cat  pictures with words on them | funny pictures | lol cat memes | lol cats

Come back in a month for the talent show.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

21

You want to Bring Home a Dog??!!

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Don’t worry. We are remaining an all-feline household. Mom says that she is much too lazy to have a dog. And our human siblings are completely Team Cat as well. But Mom and our human brother were talking recently about how our human dad had wanted a dog several years ago.

Over 65 Unforgettable Dog Memes Hilarious Pictures Unleashed! | Funny  animal jokes, Funny dog memes, Funny animal memes

We had no idea there were so many kinds of dogs. Some definitely sound like better housemates than others. Lower energy and easygoing personalities sound the best to us. Mom would have insisted on a shelter dog, so we probably would have ended up with a goofy fur sib.

Why Does My Dog or Cat Have Bad Breath? - Bothell Pet Hospital

It got our furry brains wondering what life would have been like with a doggy sibling. First thing, it would have probably not have smelled as good. Dogs just smell – different. They probably smell fine to other dogs. But we’re cats – with cat standards. It’s hard enough dealing with some of the funky human smells.

dog shaming food Archives | 3 Million Dogs

And dogs eat – different. From what we’ve been able to read, some are not really very selective about what they eat, particularly about whether what they put in their mouths belongs to them. Or is even food.

21 Dogs Who Clearly Have No Idea How HUGE They Are

We probably would have had to fight for cuddle time too. It’s bad enough with just us cats, but imagine what it would have been like with something that considers itself “man’s best friend.” And it would have been bigger than us too. Humans are so hard to retrain; it would have been a nightmare.

funny-dog-cat-big-bed-jerk - Holidog Times EN

It probably would have taken even longer to train the dog. Even though dogs are obviously intended to be minion material, it would have been a lot of work.

14 Times Cats Tried To Blame Everything On The Dog (Memes) - I Can Has  Cheezburger?

On the other paw, it might have been nice to have someone to blame for stuff getting knocked over or broken. And it probably would have been tall enough to get stuff down for us. And maybe we could have ridden it…

17 Dogs That Are Completely Terrified of Totally Normal Things | Rolig  katt, Gulliga katter, Galna katter

Note: If any of you hear your humans talking about a canine baby, these breeds were mentioned in more than one place as good personality matches with cats: Basset Hound, Beagle, Bichon Frise, Bulldog, Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Collie, Golden Retriever, Labrador Retriever, Maltese, Papillon, Poodle, Pug, Shetland Sheepdog

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Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

15

What’s Better Than a Lentil?

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First, we’d like to thank everyone for all the love and support you gave Mom after our post last week (and the compassion for our situation). She is doing better.

We would also like to thank everyone for the unwavering support of our dislike of the lentil (That came pretty much from the feline population. There were a few humans who seem to enjoy eating them.)

Cooking with Cats. | Beautiful cats, Cats, Cat reading

We found a couple of recipes for Mom to make for us when she’s back up to speed.

Homemade Cat Treats

  • 1 (4 oz.) can of tuna in spring water, drained and flaked
  • 1 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1 tablespoon dried catnip
  • 1 large egg
  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
  2. Place all ingredients in a food processor and process until you get a smooth, thick dough.
  3. Form dough into 1/4-teaspoon balls (about 80 of them).
  4. Place on a cookie sheet lined with parchment paper and flatten slightly
  5. Bake about 15 minutes (until crispy golden)
  6. Cool completely before serving.
  7. May be stored in an airtight container for up to a week or frozen

Cat wearing apron, stirring pot on miniature stove." As seen on the classic  cooking show Kitten Kitchen. Photo by Harry W. Frees… | Vintage cat, Cute  cats, Cat art

Cat Gravy

  • 1/4 cup chicken liver
  • 1/2 cup mixed chicken gizzard and heart
  • 2 cups of water
  • 2 tablespoons of all-purpose flour
  • 1/4 teaspoon of salt
  1. Boil the chicken parts until tender.
  2. Set the liquid aside and chop up the meat.
  3. Mix the liquid with the flour, meat, and salt.
  4. Cook over low heat until the gravy thickens.
  5. The gravy can either be pureed or left chunky.

Pumpkin for Cats: 10 Surprising Feline Benefits - PetFoodio.com

We’re including this last one because the site says that cats love them. Mom hates pumpkin, so we’ve never tried it.

Pumpkin and Salmon Kitty Bits

  • 1 1/4 cups of oat flour, divided
  • 5 ounces of drained salmon
  • 1 large egg
  • 1/4 cup pumpkin puree
  1. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees, and line a baking sheet with parchment paper.
  2. Break up the salmon with a fork or chopper.
  3. Combine 1 cup of flour, salmon, egg, and pumpkin in a bowl using a spoon or electric mixer
  4. Place the dough on the baking sheet, sprinkle with the remaining flour, and press down to a thickness of 1/4 inch. Prick all over with a fork.
  5. Bake for 15 minutes.
  6. Remove from the oven and cut into small pieces with a pizza or pastry cutter.
  7. Spread the bits out and bake for an additional 15-20 minutes (until firm).
  8. Let cool completely.
  9. Store in an air-tight container for a week or freeze to store longer.

Another possibility.

What Do You Know About Eco-Friendly Cat Options? Take Our Earth Day Quiz! -  Catster

Or we could ask for a pet.

Cats and Fish 🐱🐠 Cute Cats Plays with Fish (Part 1) [Epic Life] - YouTube

 

 

39

Broken Routine –> Chaos

Everyone knows that we cats love our routines. Ours wasn’t perfect, but we were content. Now Mom has ruined it. She’s having an attack of some kind of nerve condition that won’t let her eat or talk. If she can’t eat, she can’t work. (We know. Usually people say they have to work to eat. She’s weird.)

 

She works overnight, so she’d feed us when she got home. No worries, right? She’s home, so the feeding stays the same. Wrong, She sleeps different hours now because of the medicine she’s taking, so no one can keep track of breakfast time. We’re pretty sure she’s trying to skimp on us though.

 

After we ate, the three of us would hang out on the sofa for a couple of hours while she did computer stuff. Then we’d all go up to bed. Now she can’t lie flat, so she has to sleep on the sofa. She’s downstairs ALL THE TIME. We’ve lost all our bed-warmer time. And the three of us can’t sleep comfortably on the sofa.

Our human brother would make dinner. Mom says he’s a really good cook. We’re not sure what she’s using to measure that. When Mom cooked we got to share meat and fish. He cooks with something called lentils a lot. They are NOT meat or fish. He uses quite a bit of chicken. But he cooks it in weird stuff.

It’s gotten worse since Mom can’t eat. It’s all mushy, soupy stuff. And the chicken is too small to pick out. More proof we’re starving because she can’t eat.

After dinner, the three of us would take a nap before she went to work. Now she goes back to the sofa and plays on her computer.

Our lives are a mess!

Ed. Note: Cat’s having an attack of trigeminal neuritis.It’s nothing serious despite the cats’ feelings about their situation.

23

The RHCCC: Auditions

Image result for maine coons watching

The ladies of the Real House Cats of Crabapple Cove  were working on the annual fundraiser for the Crabapple Cove Center for Abandoned/Feral Cats. Fluffy was in charge of the dinner, and she had asked her friends Miki, Daphne, and Bella to come so she could get other opinions.

Image result for dogs doing tricks

One of the most important things to do was to set up the entertainment. They hadn’t been happy with their choice the previous year. It had been a troupe of dog acrobats. They were recommended by a friend of Bella’s at the library and their videos looked great. The night of the dinner, they told Fluffy that  one of the members was sick and they had brought a backup. The backup dog hadn’t performed in a while and mostly stood on stage looking confused. Several parts of the routine had to be scrapped. It was a disaster.

This year Fluffy had decided to hold live auditions rather than taking a referral. They had narrowed the field to three candidates who looked promising: a singing owl, a pair of ballroom-dancing bears, and a gorilla who played the piano.  

Image result for eastern screech owl cry

First up was the owl. She was smaller than they were expecting. That was a good thing since they did not want to scare the donors with a huge raptor in the house. No one had ever heard an owl sing before, but her video had sounded excellent.

Fluffy: What are you going to sing?

Owl: An owl love song.

Fluffy: Sounds good. Did you bring music?

Owl: No, it’s just me.

Fluffy: You can start whenever you’re ready.

Image result for cats hearing a loud sound

The owl cleared her throat and started making the most horrible sounds they had ever heard.

Bella: That’s worse than any cat fight I’ve ever heard.

Daphne: I’ve never heard anything like that down at the docks either.

Fluffy held up a paw to stop the owl.

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Fluffy: Honey, what type of owl are you?

Owl: I’m a screech owl. Why?

Fluffy: That singing was pretty bad. Are you sure that’s what you want to sing for an audition?

Owl (flustered): I’ll try another one. It’s an owl folk song.

Image result for cats hearing a loud sound

The cats sat back waiting for a melodic serenade. Instead, they got the same horrible sound as before. Once again, Fluffy held up her paw. 

Fluffy: Sweetie, that just doesn’t sound like the video you sent us. Do you have a sore throat or something?

Owl: Honestly?

Fluffy: Of course.

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Owl: I really wanted to perform here, so I had a nightingale sing on the video. I thought she would sound better.

Fluffy: That’s definitely true. But you must have known you would have to sing for yourself if you got an audition.

Owl: Yes, but I thought I would sounds better live and you would  like the song.

Fluffy: Let us talk it over. Please have a seat for a moment.

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The cats whispered to each other.

Daphne: There is no way I am recommending her. She sounds like she’s getting ready to attack something.

Miki: I agree. She’s scary.

Bella: Sorry, but I can’t listen to her any more. She’s worse than the dogs.

Fluffy called the owl back to the stage.

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Fluffy: I just don’t think it’s going to work out. Some of our guests are pretty sensitive and it wouldn’t be right to have a raptor as our entertainment.

Owl: I understand.

She sadly walked off the stage and out the door. The ladies looked at each other in relief. Hopefully the other two acts would be better.

They were not disappointed. The bears danced a beautiful waltz, and the gorilla played Mozart. It was decision time. With the performers backstage, the cats discussed which one would be better for the dinner.

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Miki: I liked the gorilla. And I don’t think anyone would be intimidated by him.

Daphne: I really don’t think folks will be afraid of dancing bears. They’re very sweet when they talk.

Bella: Do we have enough money to hire both of them?

Fluffy: I could probably make it work. I’ll make up the difference if we’re short.

Daphne: Isn’t that going to be an awfully long program?

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Once again the cats conferred.

 Miki: I agree that we don’t want it to run to long. Do you think they might work together?

Bella: That’s a great idea.

Daphne: Are you sure you want to do that? They don’t even know each other. It might turn out like last year.

Fluffy: I don’t think we’re going to agree on which one to hire, so let’s see if they’ll work together.

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She called all three entertainers back out and explained their idea. The bears and gorilla held a conversation among themselves.

Bear: We think it could work. We would need a recording of what we will be dancing to.

Gorilla: I can provide that. This idea actually is pretty interesting.

The bears nodded.

Bear: We really think it could be impressive.

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They decided on a Strauss waltz. The gorilla sent the bears a recording of him playing the piece. They all got together several times before the performance.

Their hard work paid off. They were wonderful the night of the dinner. The night was a huge success; donors pledged more than they ever had. Afterwards, Fluffy thanked them for their performance.

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Fluffy: That was totally pawsome! Thank you so much for helping us out tonight.

Bear: It was our pleasure.

Gorilla: Actually, it worked out so well that we’re talking about working together in the future.

Fluffy paid them, and the three of them walked out together.

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RHCCC is supposed to run the second Saturday of the month, but our typist got confused. We bought her a calendar.

All pictures courtesy of Google Images.

26

The Well-Groomed Cat

Cute Cats Grooming Each Others - YouTube

Some humans think it’s a little weird how much we groom ourselves (It can take up 30-50% of our waking lives). They never stop to think about how weird we think it is that they bathe so rarely. Or how disgusting that is. We thought we’d take a few minutes to do a little educating on why we do what we do. Once again, it’s time to teach your human. (Our pictures include examples of why this important task should not be left to humans.)

Pin on CATatonic

Grooming helps us cool down – You will notice that, unlike humans, we do not become drippy, smelly messes when it gets hot or we exercise. We sweat through our pads. The drying of the saliva from our grooming also helps us cool down.

Lolcats - bath - LOL at Funny Cat Memes - Funny cat pictures with words on  them - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny cat pictures with words on

We can wash our own backs – Remember last week when we were talking about how cool it was that our collarbones don’t attach to the bones in our bodies (only our front legs)? Not only can we squeeze through small spaces, we can turn our heads around to reach our backs to wash them. Even between the shoulders.

Cat Overgrooming: Why Is My Cat Licking Itself So Much? | PetMD

Our grooming may be tied to our general health – Humans don’t need to worry about the amount we groom on a regular basis (we are ultra-clean animals). It’s if we groom more or less than usual. More grooming could mean stress or tension. Less grooming could mean we can’t reach the area anymore or it hurts to groom there. Or it could mean that we got into something yucky.

National Hairball Awareness Day: Help Your Cat Celebrate - Catster

Our amazing tongues are responsible for hairballs. You know how we have those little hooks that help carry the food and water back into our mouths? They also carry any loose furs back there. We have to swallow those furs. Then we have to hack them up. Voila! Hairball. You can use this information as a weapon if you’d like.

Why Do Cats Groom Each Other? - Catster

We bond through grooming – No surprise here. We’re not going to let just anyone put their mouth on our precious fur. Besides, our moms showed us they loved us through grooming. As adults, how else are we going to get the new guy in the house to smell decent? It marks us a one of the family.

Why Do Cats Lick People?

We only groom the humans we love – Once again, we are bonding like our moms taught us. Why do some humans immediately wash off our love? No clue, but we love them anyway. Even if they do smell like human.

Why Does My Cat's Fur Stand On End? | 1-800-PetMeds Cares™

Our furs have muscles – That’s the secret behind how we fluff up when we get scared. The guard hairs use their muscles to stand up. Humans have puny hair compared to us.

Dinosaur Cat Haircuts Are The New Grooming Trend And I'm Not Sure How To  Feel

Our furs have cuticles that point away from our bodies – It’s kind of like being covered with overlapping shingles. If the shingles are all pointing in the right direction, we’re smooth and silky. If some of the shingles get moved in the wrong direction, we can get rough and spiky. Sometimes humans think it’s funny to pet us in the wrong direction. Then they get offended when we immediately lick the furs back into place. It feels weird with the furs kinked up. We’re not the antisocial ones, they’re the ones messing up the natural order.

Top 10 Cats With Bad Haircuts | Cat haircut, Cat grooming, Stupid cat

Hopefully, we given you some good conversation starters. If you have trouble getting their attention, a hairball usually does the trick.

14 Kittens -- Licking and Grooming Each Other - YouTube

Pictures courtesy of Google Images