29

Ahh Spring! Tis the Season for Shedding

Greetings. Snoops and Kommando (and Sgt Stripes) here. Monday is the spring equinox which means it’s the first day of spring. And spring means more sunlight here in Michigan. And more sunlight means more shedding. None of us are extremely fluffalicious, but Mom swears she could build a new cat out of the excess fur this time of year.

The last thing we need is another cat, so we decided to research productive ways to use it. It’s so beautiful on us, it seems like such a waste to just throw it away. Here are some of the best ideas we came across.

Cute Cat Wearing A Scarf Will Make The Post-Christmas Slump More Bearable |  HuffPost UK Life

Knitting

If your human is willing to wear a sheep, why shouldn’t they wear a cat? The first step is to spin it, then card it, then knit it. Our fur can be turned into mittens, scarves, or even sweaters. It can be a fully do-it-yourself project with instructions from a book or video, or your human can send your fur out and have it sent back as either yarn or a completed project. Imagine being able to sleep on a blanket of your own fur!

DIY: Needlefelted Cat Toys - collage

Felting

If your human isn’t quite ready for all that knitting, maybe they can make your fur into a felt project. They just need to be able to clean your fur then roll it into a ball. They stick the ball with a need a bunch of times to get the fur to knot itself together, then they shape into whatever they want. There are books and videos with instructions. They can make felted toys, ornaments or jewelry. Your human can also find folks online who create felted jewelry from cat fur. Imagine how attractive your human would be wearing beads of your fur!

Felted Feline Fun Cat Toys infused with Catnip - Bear Creek Felting

Toys

If your human isn’t crafty enough for felting, maybe they’d still like to use your fur to make you some toys. All they have to do is roll a bunch of your fur into a tight ball or rod. Then they can throw it for you. But be careful you don’t swallow the toy. (We’re not too sure about this idea. It kind of reminds of us of hairballs.)

Is there fish in your pet's food? Chances are it's contaminated with crap |  Poisoned Pets | Pet Food Safety News

Fishing Flies

If your human likes to fly fish (that is fishing for fish with flies not fishing for actual flies), your fur can help! They can use your fur for part of the fly. Tips can be found online. Make sure they share the fish with you. It’s only fair since it’s your fur attracting the fish.

Create a cat garden that you and your cat will love

Gardening

Who knew? Our fur is excellent for plants. Fur helps retain soil moisture and keep roots hydrated which helps regulate the temperature. As the hair disintegrates, it will release nitrogen which is good for plants. It is like an organic fertilizer. Hair takes a while to disintegrate, so it’s probably best considered a long-term fertilizer. In fact, it may be a season or two before they see the results. Fur is completely compostable, so your human can add it to the compost pile too and fertilize the whole garden or lawn.

Cat lounging in a birds nest. : r/pics

Share with the Birds/Small Animals

Most birds and animals that build nests love having a little fur to soften things up a bit. Your human will need to leave a bunch of it in the branches or thickets outside for the critters to gather. Or they can mix it with a bit of suet. (Bonus: They can put the bowl where you can watch the critters gather the fur.) Needless to say, you will not be able to help with this project. (Apparently birds have a pretty poor sense of smell and don’t realize where the fur comes from.)

Own Cats? Watch Those EVs! - Carolina Tails Magazine

Help Clean Up Oil Spills

Matter of Trust, a San Franciso-based non-profit, collects clean pet fur donations to create oil-absorbing hairmats and hair-stuffed containment booms (made from pantyhose). They are not always collecting, but they continue to use the mats and booms. Your human could make their own mat for use with small spills around the house or garage.

How To Manage Your Kitten's Shedding | BeChewy

Mom says that she isn’t sure she really wants any more cat hair around the house in any form, but maybe your humans will be more receptive.

Pictures (not of us) courtesy of Google Images

 

30

We Do Not Like Ice

Greetings from Snoops and Kommando Kitty (and Sgt Stripes). It has come to our attention that even in our nice, cozy home, winter can wreak havoc. As you might have noticed, there was a major storm earlier this week. Mom said that we were really lucky, because where we live we didn’t get a lot of snow. (Some humans got two feet!) And we didn’t lose our power.

We got ice. For the second time in eight days. Mom got sent home from work early on Wednesday, which was nice. We got to help her with her job that afternoon. But then we lost our Internet service. No computers and no TV. We didn’t think we were going to be able to blog because it was out for two days. It finally came back a couple of hours ago, but it was too late for her to come up with a good post. Something about being really tired. She’s still sick with her stupid virus too. Nothing major, but she doesn’t have any energy.

Anyway. The humans have been grumpy about no Internet. Now we’re grumpy about no Internet. We couldn’t visit anyone for days. Sgt Stripes didn’t get to talk to Mr. Google. We didn’t even get extra cuddles. Stupid ice.

Our cousins were not happy either. They lost power. And when they got their power back, they lost their heat. They almost froze to death before it was restored.

Mom says we shouldn’t exaggerate. They were only cold for a few hours, nothing dangerous. But they were really unhappy. Now they have their heat back and are sitting on the ducts and snuggling in the blankets to make up for the cold.

Anyway, we didn’t want you to think we’d forgotten about you. We’ll be back next week with a real post. Think warm thoughts.

Funny Cat Memes and Pictures About Cat Behavior - TurboFuture

17

Tyrone Tabby and the Valentine’s Day Dance – Part 2

two cats one love : r/cats

Where we are: Tyrone tried to impress the new girl Erin with his pouncing skills in the lunchroom. He had missed the mark, but she had left him a message to meet her in the gym before class. Tyrone wanted to take Erin to the Valentine’s Day dance. He was eagerly waiting for her. You can read Part 1 here.

Tyrone was trying not to act nervous. He was sitting on one of the bleachers, looking around. No sign of Erin. He looked at his phone. Maybe she had changed her mind. He was looking down when he heard someone come in. A female voice said his name, and his heart stopped.

Girl: Hello, Tyrone.

Tyrone looked up. Then his heart sank. It wasn’t Erin. It was Ivy, one of the girls he had known since he was a kitten.

HD wallpaper: two kittens playing with each other, cat, love, cats, domestic Cat | Wallpaper Flare

Tyrone: Hello, Ivy.

Ivy: Hi. How are you?

Tyrone: I am well. And yourself?

Ivy: I’m good. I haven’t seen much of you lately. Until yesterday in the lunchroom. That was a really good jump.

Tyrone (embarrassed): Thanks, Ivy. I kind of missed my mark. I wanted to land on the other table.

Ivy: I was really impressed. Whenever I try to make that kind of jump, I end up on the floor.

Tyrone: I wasn’t supposed to slide.

Ivy: At least you stayed on the table. I thought it was really good.

Some Facts About Cats Talking To Each Other | Pets Nurturing

Tyrone couldn’t figure out how to end the conversation. He didn’t want Erin to come in and see him talking to another girl. But Ivy was being really nice, and he didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

Ivy: What have you been up to? I used to see you all the time. Now it’s hardly ever.

Tyrone: I guess I’ve been spending a lot of time with Donny and Clyde. Not as much time outside.

Ivy: That sounds like fun. How are classes going? I’m taking a lot of classes to get ready for college. They’re really keeping me busy.

Tyrone: School is good. The guys are talking about starting an extermination business after we graduate, but I think I want to go to college too.

Ivy: You definitely should. You’re much too smart to spend your life chasing mice. What do you want to study?

Tyrone was having a good time talking to Ivy, but he really wanted to wait for Erin. Finally, he blurted out.

Tyrone: I’m kinda waiting for someone this morning, Ivy.

Ivy: Erin, right?

Tyrone (blushing): Yeah. How did you know?

Ivy: That’s why I’m here too.

Tyrone: What do you mean?

Ivy: She’s not coming.

Tyrone: Did she send you?

Now Ivy was embarrassed. Tyrone started to get uncomfortable. He could tell that Ivy was trying to hide something.

Tyrone: It’s OK. You can tell me.

Ivy: I’m sorry, Tyrone. I don’t really know how to say this.

Tyrone: Just say it.

Ivy: Erin didn’t send that message. Jessie did.

Jessie was another girl in their class. Tyrone talked to her once in a while, but they weren’t friends.

Can a dog or cat get jealous? | Yarrah

Tyrone (disappointed): Why would Jessie do that?

Ivy: She saw that you were interested in Erin. She’s jealous.

Tyrone: Of what?

Ivy: Of Erin. Erin attracts a lot of boys. She wanted to show you that it’s stupid to like a girl just because she’s pretty.

Tyrone: That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. But why are you here?

Laughing kitty! | Funny animals, Cats, Smiling animals

Ivy: Jessie wanted you to be sitting here alone so she could come and make fun of you. But I know you. You’re a really decent guy. You would have treated Erin well. You don’t deserve to have Jessie laughing at you.

Tyrone: Erin is really pretty. But I bet she’s not as nice as you are.

Ivy (blushing): Thank you, Tyrone. That’s a very sweet thing to say.

Tyrone: It’s true. I was really enjoying talking to you.

Ivy: I like talking to you too.

Tyrone: Maybe Jessie’s right. I am dumb. I should’ve been talking to you.

Just a cat hugging another cat in her sleep #hugging #naptime #cats #cathugs | Cute cats, Cat hug, Cute animals

Ivy: We’ve known each other a long time. You just don’t think of me the same way.

Tyrone: But maybe I should.

Ivy looked at Tyrone and smiled. He hadn’t realized that she was actually a very attractive cat.

Tyrone: Would you like to go out for a bowl of cream after school?

Ivy: That would be fun. We can talk about college.

Tyrone: I would like that.

Happy Valentine's Day Cat Pictures, Photos, and Images for Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, and Twitter

Pictures courtesy of Google Images. (Sgt Stripes guest-starring as Tyrone,)

23

Tyrone Tabby and the Valentine’s Day Dance

Valentine's Day Gifts for Cats - The Catington Post

Tyrone stared at Erin across the lunchroom. He thought that she was the prettiest kitty he had ever seen. She had recently moved into the neighborhood and had started school a couple of weeks ago. She was in his Feline History class, but he hadn’t gotten up the nerve to talk to her.

He was eating with his friends Clyde and Donny. They were talking about the movie they had watched last night, “SpaceCat Rex: Defender of the Galaxy.”

Can Cats See TV? │ Hill's Pet

Clyde: That movie was lame. Those lasers never would have worked like that.

Donny: I agree. The trajectory was all wrong. But the story was excellent.

Clyde: The first SpaceCat Rex movie was the best. What is this, the third? Or the fourth?

Donny: It depends on whether you count that one with the lynx.

Clyde: You can’t count that one. It was outside the canon.

Donny: What do you think, Tyrone?

  Why Do Cats Stare? - Catster

But Tyrone wasn’t paying any attention. He was too busy watching Erin. She was so graceful.

Donny: Tyrone! Are you paying any attention?

Tyrone: Isn’t she pretty? I think I want to ask her to the Valentine’s dance.

Clyde: Who?

Donny: He’s all goofy over that new girl, Erin. She doesn’t even know he’s alive.

Clyde: Forget her. Girls like that don’t go out with cats like us.

Tyrone: What do you mean?

Top 10 Most Beautiful Cat Breeds in the World (with Pictures)

Clyde: Girls like the smooth-talking Toms, not us.

Tyrone: I can be smooth-talking.

Donny: Tyrone, she’ll break your heart. Leave her alone.

Tyrone: It won’t hurt to say hi. I’m going to go talk to her.

Donny: You’ve never talked to a girl cat before. Maybe you should practice first.

Tyrone: How hard can it be?

Pin on animals

Tyrone watched Erin for a few minutes while he was gathering his nerve. He was a very shy cat and didn’t have any idea what he was going to say. Finally, he decided that he would pounce on her table and try to act sophisticated. He would impress her with his grace.

He walked to the other side of the room and waited for his opportunity. She was talking to a couple of other girls. Finally, the other girls left, and he saw his chance. He measured the distance in his head. Then he stretched and leapt.

Right over her table to the table behind her. He landed on a piece of paper and slid down the table. Just before he got to the end of the table, the paper stopped moving. Erin and a few other cats were watching him, confused.

Is your cat laughing at you? | BBC Earth

Tyrone jumped down and ran back to his friends. He tried to look nonchalant. They were trying not to laugh.

Clyde: Dude, what was that?

Donny: I think you got her attention.

Tyrone: Shut up. I want to disappear.

He looked around. No one was paying any attention to him. Erin was talking to some different cats. Then the bell rang, and they had to go back to class. He didn’t see Erin for the rest of the day.

After school, he was walking home with his friends. They were still laughing about his jump.

Why do cats sleep so much? What's normal and not | PetsRadar

Donny: That was amazing! I’m sure she was was impressed.

Clyde: At least you didn’t land on her. That would have been terrible.

Tyrone: Maybe she didn’t know it was me. Maybe I can still act cool around her tomorrow.

Donny: I think everyone knew it was you. Maybe you can move to Siberia.

Tyrone: This is awful. Now she’ll never talk to me. How far away is Siberia?

Clyde: It was a joke. No one will remember in a few days.

Tyrone: I will. This is horrible.

Tyrone went to his room when he got home. His phone buzzed.

Phone: Hi Tyrone, it’s Erin from school. Pawsome jump today at lunch! Meet me in the gym before school tomorrow. We can talk.

Tyrone stared at his phone. He couldn’t believe his eyes. He shut the phone down and turned it back on. The message was still there. It was still there in the morning.

He took extra time grooming in the morning, making sure every fur was in place. He told the guys he was going in early to get some extra time in the lab. He stood in the corner of the gym, waiting patiently.

Next week: Is Erin the girl of Tyrone’s dreams?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

39

Happy New Year!

Snoops and Kommando here. Mom’s been really sick and couldn’t put together a post for us this week. Some kind of virus she picked up from the little humans on Christmas. But we still wanted to wish everyone a Happy New Year!

And Happy New Year from the the new guy too! (That’s how Mom’s going to spend the holiday.)

Bliadhna Mhath Ùr

Scottish Laddie Cat Costume | Unique DIY Costumes
Bonne année
Complete French Cat Outfit Cat Beret Ascot and Striped Shirt - Etsy | Cat  clothes, French cats, Cat outfits pets

Mutlu yıll
Turkish Angora - Love Meow
Hyvää uutta vuotta
30 Pics Of Finnish Cats Living Their Best Winter Life | Bored Panda
Pictures courtesy of Google Images. (Except us.)
Best Happy New Year Meme | Funny New Year Meme
28

Sgt Stripes’ First Christmas

  

Hello everyone! Sgt Stripes here. I’m still living upstairs, but it’s come to my attention that something major is going on. They brought up a little green tree and put it on my dresser. It doesn’t taste very good. Mom says it’s my Christmas tree.

I asked Mr. Google about Christmas trees. He says humans decorate them for the holiday. Mom didn’t decorate mine. She said she was afraid I was going to try to eat the decorations. I wouldn’t have eaten them unless they tasted better than the tree.

This is my first year inside. I don’t really know what Christmas is all about. There’s a much bigger tree downstairs but I can’t go down there. The lady cats are still kind of afraid of me. Mom and my human brother are trying to work that out. I’m sorry I’m going to miss the big tree. It would probably be fun to climb. And all kinds of sparkly things to play with. It’s wasted on the other cats.

I have a stocking. It’s kind of weird. It’s way too big for my paws. There’s nothing in it. Mom says that Santa Paws is going to put presents in it. I’m pretty excited. I’ve never had presents before. Mom helped me pick out presents for my new human brother and sister. This is going to be so much fun!

There’s a lot of wrapping paper and ribbons and bags and stuff laying around too. So much stuff to play with! Holidays are the best!

Mom says the little humans are going to be spending the night on Christmas Eve. Their parents are going to be sharing my room. I’m not really sure I like that. The little ones scared me the last time they were here. I think I might hide out in Mom’s room until they go.

We’re supposed to be getting special food. Yummy! The humans are having a goose. I hope I get some of that. Apparently, they aren’t serving any of my favorites from outside. But their stuff should be good too.

I hope all of you have a wonderful Christmas. (Or at least a very nice weekend if you don’t celebrate Christmas.)

19

Chloe Cat’s Christmas Guest – Part 2

80 Cats Who Use Dogs As Pillows | Bored Panda

Where we are: Chloe is home from college on Christmas break. She has brought her friend Sasha with her. Her family knew Sasha was coming, but Chloe had neglected to tell them that he was a large dog. Christmas Eve dinner has become rather tense. You can read Part 1 here.

Mama Cat has brought Grandma some cream to help her get over her fainting spell. Grandma seems rather confused.

Giant Tibetan Mastiff 'As Big As a Bear' Goes Viral Trying to Get Into Car

Grandma: I must be going crazy. I thought I saw a huge dog in your living room.

Mama: No, you’re not crazy. Chloe brought home a dog.

Grandma: Why would she do that? We’re cats. Some of us are afraid of dogs.

Gretchen: Especially some of us smaller kitties. He might eat us.

Mama: I’m sure Chloe’s friend won’t eat us. Although I really wish she had mentioned it before he showed up at the door.

Angry Cat: 14 Signs Your Cat Is Mad at You — Fighting Cats

They heard a loud voice in the front room.

Uncle Charley: See here, dog. You can’t come in here and scare the living daylights out of decent cats.

Raphael: Don’t get too excited Uncle Charley, you don’t want to have a heart attack or something.

Uncle Charley: I’m not going to have a heart attack. I just want this dog to know that I’ve been around, and I can take care of myself. He needs to behave himself.

Sasha: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare anyone.

Chloe: Why is everyone so excited? Sasha’s a dog. So what? We’re all civilized cats.

Regina: Maybe it’s because you said you were bringing home a boy. We all expected a handsome mancat. Instead you bring home a huge doggo. Extremely disappointing.

Sophie: We thought you finally had a social life.

Chloe: I do have a social life. Sasha is my friend. I asked if I could bring home a friend for Christmas.

Gretchen: You’re not actually dating a dog are you?

Are Dogs Smarter than Cats? | Britannica

Chloe: What if I am?

Aunt Mildred: Dear, I know you’re not the most attractive kitty in the bunch, but even so…

Mama: Mildred! Sasha is our guest. And who Chloe dates really isn’t any of your business.

Papa Cat’s nose had been twitching. 

Can Dogs Eat Fish? - Ollie Blog

Papa: Sasha! I couldn’t help noticing. Did you bring something to add to the Christmas feast?

Sasha: Indeed I did. I asked Chloe what cats ate for Christmas. She said that you were having chicken, but that fish is always welcome. So I went to the market and got a bunch of smoked mackerel. I hope you will accept it with my appreciation for being welcomed.

Papa: Well, I’m not sure that you’re feeling very welcome, but your fish smells delicious.

Sasha: I didn’t realize I would be so much larger than everyone else. It never crossed my mind that I could be scary. I’m just a big goofball in my own family.

Papa: A lot of these cats have never met a dog up close before. I think they were mainly surprised.

Your Cat Might Not Be Ignoring You When You Speak - The New York Times

Sasha looked around and saw that the cats were watching him. They weren’t looking as startled as they had been which he took as a good sign. Grandma and Uncle Charley were talking in the corner. Finally, Grandma came over.

Grandma: Hello, Sasha.

Sasha: Hello, ma’am. I’m very sorry I frightened you. I hope you are feeling better.

Grandma: I am, thank you. So you’re a friend of Chloe’s?

Sasha: Yes, I am. She’s a very sweet girl.

Grandma: You’re right. Are you her boyfriend?

How to Get Your Cats to Be Best Friends

Sasha (embarrassed): No, ma’am, we’re regular friends.

Grandma: Do you want to be her boyfriend?

Chloe: Grandma! You’re embarrassing me! Sasha is a friend from school.

Grandma: I just want to make sure he’s not going to break your heart. You really can’t trust anyone who’s not a cat. And you can’t trust all cats.

Sasha: Don’t worry. I’m not going to hurt Chloe. I like her too much for that.

Chloe rubbed up against him and purred.

What are the signs of feline friendship? – PoC

Grandma: I don’t know. That looks like more than friends.

Chloe: Don’t worry, Grandma. I’ll be fine.

Mama Cat had been putting the finishing touches on dinner. She added Sasha’s fish to her own food. It all smelled delicious.

Mama: Everyone, it’s time to eat.

They sat down and began to eat. Uncle Charley kept drinking the catnip punch, and became more and more vocal. He was looking directly at Sasha while he was telling a story about fighting another cat for one of the many loves of his life. 

Two Cats 'Fighting Respectfully' Have Internet in Hysterics

Uncle Charley: Sasha, have you ever fought for love?

Sasha: Can’t say that I have.

Uncle Charley: Would you be willing to fight for Chloe?

Sasha: I think that Chloe can defend herself. Cats are excellent fighters.

Uncle Charley: I meant fight for her love.

Chloe: Uncle Charley, we’re not in love.

Uncle Charley: Then why is he here?

Chloe and Sasha looked at each other. Finally, he nodded.

DOE expands therapy dogs program in city schools

Chloe: Sasha is a friend of mine from Chemistry. He told me about a class he’s taking in Cat Psychology. He said that he was having trouble understanding how cats think. I asked him if he wanted to spend some time with my family and see how we get along.

Sasha: I thought it was a great idea, but that it would only work if you didn’t know I was doing research. That way you would all behave normally. So we decided that I would just come as her friend.

Chloe: I didn’t realize that everyone would think I was bringing home a boyfriend.

Sasha: I’m sorry I upset everyone. I’ll leave after dinner.

Clowder is the appropriate term for a group of cats. | Crazy cat lady meme, Crazy cats, Cats

The cats looked at each other. There were a few minutes of silence.

Mama: That makes a lot more sense than any other explanation. I don’t know if you will get the information you need, but you are welcome to stay.

Papa: Absolutely! I can teach you how cats hunt.

Uncle Charley: And I’ll teach you how we fight.

And that is how a very large dog got the best grade in his Cat Psychology class.

Cat Christmas Dinner | Finding the Perfect Recipe | Bella & Duke

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

22

Chloe Cat’s Christmas Guest

300+ Free Christmas Cat & Christmas Images - Pixabay

Mama Cat had been working hard for days getting everything ready for Christmas. She was having a big family dinner on Christmas Eve. It was the first time the whole family had been together in several years. The best part was that her daughter Chloe was coming home from college for the first time since the beginning of the school year. And she was bringing a friend. A male friend!

Mama Cat: I’m so excited to see Chloe! It’s been months since she’s been home.

Papa Cat: I’ve really missed her. She’s my little buddy. I hope we get a chance to go hunting while she’s home.

Mama Cat: I wouldn’t count on it. She’s bringing a boy home. She’ll probably want to spend all her time with him.

Cats R Cool 4 Back to School - oregonlive.com

Regina: Don’t you think it’s a little weird that she never talks about him? We don’t really know anything except that she met him in her Chemistry class.

Sophie: Yeah. So we know that he’s probably a nerd like she is.

Mama Cat: Be nice, girls. She’s never brought anyone home before. It must be serious.

Papa Cat: How serious can it be? She’s only been gone four months.

Mama: We need to be nice to him. He’s going to be staying here for a few days.

17 Pets Who Can't Believe You Aren't Taking Them On Your Trip - The Dodo

Meanwhile, Chloe was preparing to go home.

Chloe: Sasha, are you ready to leave yet?

Sasha: Not quite finished packing. Are you sure I’ll be welcome?

Chloe: Absolutely. My family is great! Mama says they’re really excited about meeting you.

Sasha: What have you told them?

Chloe: Just that I met you in Chemistry, and that we’ve become good friends. And that I wanted to bring you home for the holidays so you wouldn’t be alone.

Sasha: Do they think I’m your boyfriend?

Chloe: It never really came up.

Cat Signals for Expressing Happiness and Mood

Sasha rubbed his head against Chloe and she purred.

Chloe: Okay. We’ll leave mid-morning. Remember, we have to be there by 2 pm. Mama doesn’t want anyone to be late for dinner. And I haven’t seen them in months so I don’t want to miss anything.

Sasha: Don’t worry. I’ll be ready bright and early.

Christmas Eve was a beautiful day. Sunny and cold. The family started gathering around noon. Grandma and Grandpa were the first to arrive. As usual, Grandma had brought her favorite catnip cookies.

US embassy apologises after mistakenly sending Cookie Monster cat invitation | Canberra | The Guardian

Sophie: Yummy! One of the best parts of Christmas.

Grandma: Is Chloe here? I can’t wait to see her. I hear she finally has a beau.

Mama: Mother! Don’t embarrass her. She’s calling him a friend. We have to be nice.

Grandma: I’m going to be nice. It’s just good to see she finally has a social life.

Mama: Mother —

I prefer the unneutered male cat appearance – PoC

Uncle Charley was next. He was a little eccentric. Rather conservative and prone to speaking his mind.

Papa: Charley! Good to see you. How are things?

Uncle Charley: Not bad. Glad to see the elections are finally over. Didn’t see too many dogs or other lowlifes voted into office this time. Maybe we’re finally back on track to getting things back under control.

Regina: Uncle Charley, would you like some milk or some water?

Uncle Charley: Do you have anything stronger?

Mama: I was going to make some punch if anyone wanted it.

Uncle Charley: The good stuff with catnip AND silver vine?

Mama: That’s the one. I’ll go get started.

Group shot of a pack of kitties ❤ #grouppicture #kittens #cats #adorablecats | Cute cats, Cats, Cute cat memes

While Mama was in the kitchen, most of the rest of the family arrived. There were about 20 cats in the extended family, and everyone had come. Except Chloe.

Mama: I wonder where Chloe is. I told her not to be late.

Just then, the doorbell rang. 

Mama: How odd. Who would that be?

Sophie: I see Chloe’s suitcase out front. Maybe she has a surprise.

25 Giant Dog Breeds — Huge Dogs | Reader's Digest

Mama opened the door and saw Chloe’s surprise guest. She could barely speak.

Mama: Welcome to our home; you must be Sasha.

Sasha: Indeed, I am. Thank you for having me.

The others heard voices but couldn’t recognize the accented words. Sophie ran up.

Sophie: Oh my cats! You’re a dog!!

Sasha: Why, yes I am.

Dogs That Are Good With Cats: Breeds That Tend to Do Well With Felines

Sasha was the largest dog she had ever seen. And he was standing in the doorway to her house. Her father stepped up.

Papa: Sasha, please come in.

Sasha stepped into the room and looked around the room full of cats. He wasn’t sure whether to be amused or frightened. Chloe was still paying the driver and getting their things organized. Finally she came up.

Chloe: Hello everyone. I see you’ve met Sasha.

Her grandmother had been in another room. She came out when she heard Chloe’s voice, took one look at Sasha and fainted. Uncle Charley arched his back and began to hiss. Sasha looked like he wanted to head for the door. He wasn’t sure what to do with the box of smoked fish he was holding.

Next week: Will the family have a Merry Christmas? You can read the conclusion here

Christmas Cat Pictures | Download Free Images on Unsplash

 

12

More Christmas Carols for Cats

Hello! It’s Thunder, back in action! Last year, I wrote a list of well-known Christmas songs to make them more cat friendly. Sadly, as I listen to more Christmas music this year, I realized that people have not taken the hint, and continue to write songs as if only people are listening to them. Harrumph! So, I decided to edit eleven more songs, and a very special bonus from Kommando Kitty(!) to reflect the feelings of a cat! Please enjoy the updated versions to some of our favorite Christmas carols.

 

Angels We Have Heard on High

This song was done in honor of my sister, Angel! I’m not totally sure why songwriters would choose to feature the slightly less beautiful, less charismatic sister (no offense, Angel!), but oh well! Her name is probably easier to work with in the Christmas season.

“Angels who meow at me,

purring, sitting prettily.

Staring at the food she sees,

waiting for the human to come and feed.

Meow-oooooow-oooooow-ooooow-ia!

It is finally dinner time!

Meow-oooooow-oooooow-ooooow-ia! Now we will finally get to eat!”  

Grownup Christmas List

Grownups have too much stuff (not as much as human kittens, though. They have even more stuff, and most of it is useless!) So why do they need a Christmas list to request more dust gathering junk? Cats, on the other hand, never have enough things. Our boxes get crushed, our beds deflate, our toys hide under couches, and our food disappears! It’s plain awful! Clearly, cats need a Christmas list much more than grownups. I’m thinking our list would like a bit like this:

“Do you remember me?

I have lots of needs.

A mousie and a box in which to play

I also need a bowl, and please fill it up full.

I’m also thirsty, so some water please!

I do need a mat, soft, and furry, and flat.

On this surface I plan to nap!

No more loud noises outside, and no more rain I need to hide, and no more vacuums by my side!

Every cat would have a friend, and naps would never end, and scurchies on the tail bend!

This is my kitty Christmas list.”

Away in a Manger

I asked my human what a manger was, since it sounds suspiciously close to mange, a life-threatening condition that only your vet should treat. She showed me a picture of some trough thing that looked super uncomfortable. But in the song, Jesus had to sleep in one of these “mangers”. A bed sounds much better! And I’m pawsitive Jesus wouldn’t have minded sharing the space!

“Away in a manger,

there lays a tired cat.

She is trying to sleep but keeps getting pats on the back.

She blinks and her eyes close

and on to her back she rolls.

And she hopes that morning will come but very, very slow”. 

Let It Snow

I hate snow. It is cold, it is water, and it has no place anywhere near me. Why anyone would advocate for it snowing is beyond me. The only good thing is sometimes we get so much snow that my humans stay home and cuddle with me all day. So, I suppose snow does have some sort of use. Such as:

“Oh, the weather outside is frightful!

But the cat is so delightful!

And since our car won’t go,

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

It doesn’t show signs of stopping, so I can be on the couch napping.

Turn the lights off now!

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!”

O Come, All Ye Faithful

Large gatherings of people are annoying. They’re loud, and there’s a huge risk of someone stepping on your tail (especially if it’s as long as mine)! The only reason I could see people gathering is to feed and pamper a gaggle of cats. Also, I’ve suspiciously noticed that even people who claim to be cat lovers leave us for hours on end to go to “work” or to “shop and socialize”. This seems a bit odd to me, so I’ve changed “faithful” to “people”.

“Oh come, all you people!

Come and adore me!

I am beautiful

and you are lucky to be by me!

I am a kitty!

Very furry and pretty.

Oh, come and pet me!

Oh, come and feed me!

Oh, come and play and nap with me, right now, human!”  

Deck the Halls

I love it when my humans decorate! It gives me an opportunity to find new toys and to give my own touch to the holidays! There are shiny things, and balls, and twinkling lights- it’s like paradise! As such, I wrote a joyful reflection to this:

“Deck the halls and please the kitties!

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!

Hang the balls, get in a tizzy!

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!

Chase the sparkling lights around us!

Fa-la-la-la-la la la-la-la-la!

Feast on gourmet Christmas food now!

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!”

 

Hark! The Herald Angels Sing

This song is not solely dedicated to Angel, although once again, it shares her name (she seriously has the easiest name to sing about)! Although, to be fair, all cats sing lovely songs, at all times of the day! Clearly the song should be more like:

“Hark! The herald kitties meow!

At the top of their lungs, they’re super loud!

Peace in the house will be found with food;

this responsibility lies on you.

Joyful when the can arrives!

Pour it out from way up high!

Peace is finally in this house!

Now I shall go and hunt a mouse!

Hark! The herald kitties meow!

Peace in the house is finally found!”

 

Last Christmas

Cats are great at remembering the past (especially when you forget to feed us). So I thought it was fitting that there was a song that reminded you how generous we were in the past year. 

“Last Christmas, I gave you a mouse.

But you screamed really loud, and ran out of the house.

This year, to save you from fear, I’ll bring you a bird instead.”

Mary Did You Know

I’m not really sure who Mary was. And I’m not really sure what she was supposed to know. But after hearing the apparent grief she went through prior to people realizing Jesus was a really good guy to have on your side, I’m betting she wished she had a cat. If Jesus had been a cat, we could have sang:

“Mary did you know,

that a lonely cat would fall asleep in your lap?

Mary did you know,

that a kitty cat would ride along in your sack?

Did you know that you’d have to feed a gorgeous, starving feline?

When you get your milk in the morning, get me a bowl to drink!

Mary did you know…” 

 

Need a Little Christmas

Cats deserve the world. We need everything, and should have everything. And Christmas just isn’t centered around cats enough. So, I fixed it! 

“Haul out the boxes!

Put up a string of lights for the world to see!

Fill up the glasses.

Make sure they’re full of something I find yummy, please!

For we need a little Christmas! Right this very minute!

Shiny balls hanging! Tearing at the presents,

yes, we need a little Christmas! Right this very minute.

There hasn’t been a single flurry, but I don’t care because I’m furry!”

We Wish You a Merry Christmas 

This one seems pretty easy to turn cat friendly: we wish you a meowy catmas! But, of course, humans are too self centered to think about us poor, neglected felines. So, I took it upon myself to write:

“We wish you a meowy Catmas!

We wish you a meowy Catmas!

We wish you a meowy Catmas!

And a sleepy new year!

Good boxes we bring, to you and your friends.

Good munchies on Catmas, and a happy new year!

We wish you a meowy Catmas! We wish you a meowy Catmas!

We wish you a meowy Catmas!

And a sleepy new year!”

And now, what we’ve all been waiting for… The Kommando Kitty bonus! Kommando texted me with this idea, and I fell in love! It is so much better than my version of “Deck the Halls “. I am pleased to introduce to you “Wreck the Halls “, by Kommando Kitty! 

Wreck the Halls

“Wreck the halls while chasing mousies! Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la. 

Break the bulbs and pounce on Frosty! Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la. 

Dangle from the pretty wreath now! Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la. 

Shred the presents and eat the bows! Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!”

I hope you enjoyed these updated and improved carols. Have a safe and happy Catmas, and may it be full of boxes, shiny ribbons, and naps! 

Furs and purrs,

Thunder K. Katt

11

The Purr-fect Feline Thanksgiving

Greetings. Mom looked at the calendar yesterday and realized that it’s only two weeks until Thanksgiving here in the US.  She told our human brother that it’s time to make the shopping list. That got us to thinking about what we needed to make sure was on that list. After all, it is a holiday centered around food. And what kitty doesn’t love a good treat?

It turns out that the newest cat in the house, Sgt Stripes, has a thing for Google and enjoys looking things up. (Mom complains that every time he helps her on the computer, the first thing he does is open up the inquiry screen.) So we put him to work on research. As it turned out, he may be a little too good. We had to sort through a lot of stuff to get to the goodies. But we don’t pay him, so we probably shouldn’t complain.

Will Those Holiday Leftovers Poison Your Cat? - CatGazette

TURKEY

Most of us kitties love turkey. The humans that study these things say we should eat the white meat (less fat) with no skin or seasoning. And NO bones. They can splinter and choke us.

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HAM/SAUSAGE

Hams and sausages smell really yummy. Unfortunately, we shouldn’t eat them because they are full of salt and fat. (If you love either one, we recommend stealing a piece or two while the humans aren’t watching.)

Thanksgiving Foods That are Toxic To Cats - Cat Hospital of Tucson

STUFFING/DRESSING

We really don’t understand the appeal of this dish. It’s basically bread that pretends to be real food. The bread part isn’t a problem for cats. The problem is the other stuff that makes it look like actual food. A lot of humans use onions and garlic, which are toxic to cats. They also sometimes use sausage, chorizo, oysters, butter, and spices which are bad for kitties. (Kommando loves a good butter taste, but it really isn’t good for her.)

Can Cats Eat Potatoes? How About Sweet Potatoes? - Catster

MASHED POTATOES and GRAVY

We kitties can safely eat potatoes. Unfortunately, humans don’t generally serve plain potatoes at Thanksgiving. At the very least, they mix the potatoes with butter and milk/cream. Butter and cream are both high in fat and cause tummy trouble for a lot of kitties. They also smother their potatoes with turkey gravy. Turkey gravy smells heavenly (like the turkey), but usually has a lot of salt and fat because it’s made with drippings and/or broth.

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BREAD/ROLLS

We are allowed to eat plain bread. Nothing containing garlic, onion, raisins, or chocolate. And avoid the butter. And definitely stay away from the dough. The active yeast will make your belly swell up and you’ll get bloated. We don’t see the appeal, but it’s up to you..

Can Cats Eat Cranberries? Is It Good For Cats? (Quick Answer)

CRANBERRY SAUCE

Kitties are allowed to eat cranberries, but the sauce isn’t good for us. It’s full of sugar. (Are you beginning to notice a trend here?) Apparently, some kitties like mashed cranberries. (None of them live in our house.) Some humans recommend mashing a few in with some mashed pumpkin. We recommend knocking them on the floor and batting them around.

Is Pumpkin Good For Cats? – Feline Behavior Solutions - Cat Behavior  Consultant

PUMPKIN/SWEET POTATOES

Here we go again. Pumpkins and sweet potatoes are fine. (You want to have your human cook and mash it for you.) Pumpkin/sweet potato pie is bad. Too much sugar. Same thing for those sweet potatoes covered in marshmallows. The little pumpkins are a lot of fun to roll around. Sweet potatoes are lumpy and don’t roll well.

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GREEN BEANS

Not sure who we’re talking to here, because green beans are not a delicacy in our book. But if you like them, have at them. They are very nutritious and can be eaten by cats either raw or cooked. As always, no butter, oil, or seasonings. And NO green bean casserole. Most casseroles contain onions and canned/dried soup, two things that are bad for kitty tummies.

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OTHER VEGGIES

Some humans serve a variety of other vegetables for Thanksgiving. Among the most common are carrots, spinach, broccoli, and cabbage. Cats are allowed to eat them; we’re not sure why you’d want to. They are best steamed for kitties, but you can eat raw carrots if you want. And no, you may not have butter with these vegetables either.

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APPLES

If you would like a bite of apple, help yourself. Make sure the piece isn’t too big. Otherwise, they are safe.

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BEER, WINE, and COCKTAILS

No. No. And No. Generally, cats do not like the smell or taste of alcohol.

21-step Guide On How To Cook With Cats | Bored Panda

We have made it to the good part of the post. This is where we provide recipes for your human to make stuff especially for you. (Note that there is dairy in some of the recipes.)

TURKEY TRIANGLES (from Chewy)

  • 1/2 cup ground turkey
  • 1/2 cup whole wheat flour
  • 1 egg
  • 1/2 tablespoon olive oil

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

  1. Mix all the ingredients together. (It may be easiest to do by hand.)
  2. Knead the dough into a ball.
  3. Lightly flour a workspace.
  4. Roll out the dough to 1/4-inch thickness, roughly in the shape of a rectangle.
  5. Place the dough on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.
  6. Score 1/2-inch rows into the dough (do not cut all the way through).
  7. Score 1/2-inch diagonal lines across the dough (creating diamonds).
  8. Score 1/2-inch diagonal lines the opposite way across the dough (creating triangles).
  9. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes.
  10. Once cool, break into pieces.

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TURKEY TOTS (from PetSafe)

  • 1 egg
  • 1 pound turkey
  • 1 teaspoon parsley
  • 1/2 cup vegetables
  • 1/2 cup cheese

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

  1. Mix all the ingredients.
  2. Shape into small chunks and spread on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.
  3. Bake 10 minutes (until they turn brown).
  4. Allow to cool before serving.

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PUMPKIN SMOOTHIES

  • 1 cup plain pumpkin puree
  • 1 cup plain non-fat yogurt

Instructions

  1. Blend ingredients thoroughly.
  2. Pour out.
  3. May also be frozen in an ice cube tray.

Is Pumpkin Good For Cats? - All About Cats

PUMPKIN PIE FOR CATS

  • Flour
  • 1 cup grated carrots
  • 1 cup plain pumpkin puree
  • 2 cups rice flour
  • 1/2 cup plain unsweetened applesauce
  • 1/2 cup oat milk

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

  1. Measure flour into a bowl.
  2. Blend applesauce, milk,  carrots, and pumpkin until smooth.
  3. Add mixture to the flour a little at a time until dough forms.
  4. Flour a workspace.
  5. Roll dough to 1/4-inch thickness.
  6. Cut into small pieces.
  7. Place small pieces on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.
  8. Bake for 5 minutes on each side.
  9. Let cool before serving.

Hopefully you’ll find something you like here. We’ve given you plenty of time to get it on the shopping list before the big day. Enjoy!

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.