How a Cool Cat Stays Warm

February 13, 2021 | cat9984

You may remember Thunder, the most outspoken of the kitties who own our human sister and her family. She’s back to offer her tips for surviving the winter as we live through its unending stay.

Hello everyone, Thunder here! To those who may not know, I’m a Michigan kitty, and that means we have yucky, cold weather for a good part of the year. After watching my humans freeze (that lack of fur must suck!), I decided to share some tips on how to stay warm, no matter what the temperature!

Have your human get a bed warmer (and make sure they leave it on)! Mom got one for Christmas, and it’s guaranteed to warm paws and tummies even on the coldest nights. Share your bed with more than one person? Sunbeam makes one with dual sided controls, so everyone can be comfortable!

Curl up on any available fabric. If you aren’t lucky enough to have a 24/7 bed warmer, any fabric will do. This includes blankets, towels, clothing, and the sofa, amongst many other options. While they may not radiate heat, they’ll act as a soft and cozy insulation.

Sit near the heating vent. If it’s on a wall, sit right up against it. If it’s on the floor, lay directly on top of it. This may not be the most comfortable option, so kitties with sensitive furs, be careful if choosing this option. Don’t worry if your human complains at you- how often have they allowed your food dish to run out?

Cuddle up with your humans. Humans heaters have two benefits- they’re extra warm, and in cold weather, they don’t like to move much; this means disturbances should be at a low. Make sure they’re wearing comfortable sweats, or even a blanket for the maximum experience.

Utilize your furry siblings. Much like your humans, your cat (or dog) siblings are a direct heat source- and fur is bound to be more comfortable than skin! However, if your siblings are like mine, and seem to think social distancing applies to cats as well as humans, it’s best to avoid this measure.

Grab any available sun spot. Sun spots may be less common in these months, so if a sun spot appears, grab it (bonus points if the sun spot falls on a nice soft blanket or bed).

Try to spend the majority of your time in the warmest room in the house. Most humans seem to heat one or two rooms more than the others. In our case, it’s the kitchen, and the Human Kitten’s room. Plan your day so you spend most of it in the warmest spot.

Showers may be wet and tedious- but the steam will make a nice warm pocket of air that you can lounge in for a couple of minutes. Just make sure you don’t sit in the actual tub until it’s dry- unless you’re a water loving kitty.

Dryers are warm and rumbly when in use- make sure that your human keeps the top of the drying machine warm, and take a 45 minute nap when it’s in use. It’ll even stay warm for a couple of minutes afterwards, so there won’t be a rush for you to find a new spot right away.

Image result for cat with toys meme

Humans have to cover their paws when they go outside. While these paw covers are great to play in, and possibly even hide your favorite mousie in, they track in all sorts of goop from the (not so) great outdoors. This includes clots of snow and ice. Not only are they cold, but they’re also wet! What a horrible combination! As we all know, humans are a bit clueless, so try to keep their shoe tray clear (an occasional toy or furball is fine). You also may need to put some of your larger, bulkier toys just inside the door frame- when they trip, or jump to avoid them, not only will you get some entertainment, but it’ll also remind your human to remove their gross paw coverings. After all, a warm house starts with a dry house.

Bulk up- the larger you are, the warmer you tend to be. Your humans spend hours away each day, working hard for money. That money is made for you. And what better expenditure than cat food? Eat as much as you desire- any extra winter fluff will fall off when cat TV returns in the spring and you can chase the birds and squirrels again.

Winter is brutal- remember that your happiness is top purrority. Stay inside if at all possible, and stay safe and warm. Nap often, and remember cat approved weather is on the way.

Furs and purrs,

Thunder K. Katt

Cat Etiquette for Humans

November 14, 2020 | cat9984

If cats could talk and do human things. | Funny cat pictures, Funny animal memes, Cats

Fellow Felines: Please forward this post to your human.

It has recently come to our attention that there are some common human gaffes regarding how to interact with your cat. We know that you mean well, so we are here to help with a little advice.

cat teacher Memes - Imgflip

When your cat talks to you, learn what they are saying. It is annoying to wait while you ask about wanting to be let into the room, wanting cuddles, wanting food when it should be clear that we want you to move your stuff from our favorite cat tree.

How Do Cats Hunt? | Hunting Strategies & Techniques in Domestic Cats

If you see us chasing a mouse, don’t scream or try to help. That only startles us and gives the mouse a chance to get away. We will ask for help if we need it.

Lolcats - slippers - LOL at Funny Cat Memes - Funny cat pictures with words on them - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny cat pictures with words on

If we are relaxing in your slipper or using it as a sled across the floor, don’t tell us you need the slipper. We know it’s your slipper and you need to learn how to share.

If we are eating, do not make loud noises or insist on getting something that is in a space where we eat. Even if we do not jump (which you find hilarious for some reason), it is rude. You don’t want us on the table when you eat; give us the same courtesy.

There's An Actual Scientific Study Into Cats Playing Video Games

Don’t start playing with us to stop a couple of minutes later because “your show came on”, your phone dinged, or some other lame reason. We like to play, and want to do it for a while.

Why Cats Like to Sleep in Bed With Their Humans

If we are laying on “your” blanket or “your” chair, do not just dump us on the floor. Most likely, we were asleep. It is rude to wake someone up like that. After all, we are members of the family.

Cameras and Cats — Five Trends That Make Computer Vision Interesting Now | Upfront Ventures

Do not insist on taking our pictures constantly. Particularly if you think we are doing something funny. Those pictures always end up on the computer, and your friends laugh and make fun of us. Sometimes we just like to chill and not have to worry about the paparazzi.

Nice job captain graceful! Have a nice trip? See ya next fall? - Cheezburger - Funny Memes | Funny Pictures

Do not laugh at us if we slip or miss a jump. We are still tons more graceful than you ever will be.

We hope that you have found these tips helpful. Please talk to your cat if you have any questions.

Cute cats Archives - iHeartCats.com

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

Is Sammy Squirrely? – Part 2

October 27, 2018 | cat9984

Image result for squirrel on computer

Where we are: All during the fall, Sammy had been acting oddly. Rather than working with the other squirrels to get ready for winter, he spent all his time on the computer. His friends and neighbors think he might be losing his mind.

It was a hard winter. It started snowing in November and didn’t let up. Soon it was higher than the squirrels. The families relied on the nuts they had stored in their trees for a long time. Finally, it was time to go out and get the nuts they had buried in the ground. It wasn’t easy.

Image result for squirrel in snow

Sarah: Three squirrels in my class missed school today. They had to go hunt for food.

Peter: There were five gone from my class.

June: This is the worst winter I can remember. I’m glad we built our nest in such a huge tree and were able to fill it. Spring is almost here, so we should be OK. Especially since your cousin was nice enough to send us all that food for Christmas.

Image result for christmas nuts

Peter: My new favorite nut is the pecan.

Sarah: Those were pretty yummy. But I liked the dried fruit.

Sammy: We need to do something nice for Joey in the spring. Living in Georgia is good for food, but we can think of something.

June: I wish we could do something to help our friends.

Sammy knew it was time to see if his idea worked. He was extremely grateful to Princess ERin for telling him about the Global Peanut Positioning Satellite (GPPS). It was a little odd that a cat would be so helpful, but it sounded useful.

Between the GPPS and the data he had collected, he should be able to find the nuts the family had buried.

Image result for squirrel in school

Sammy: We can share the nuts we buried last fall.

Peter: If the other squirrels could find their nuts, they wouldn’t be hungry. How can we find ours?

Sammy: The project you were all laughing about last fall should tell us where the nuts are.

Sarah: Do your really think it will work? That would be wonderful.

Sammy: There’s only one way to find out. I’ll go load my data into the positioning system.

Sammy leaves the room to work on the computer. He finally comes out when June calls him for dinner.

Peter: How’s the system coming Dad?

Sammy: Pretty well. It looks like all of the data transferred. Now we have to wait for the next sunny day.

Sarah: Why does it have to be sunny?

Image result for squirrels in sun

Sammy: The way the GPPS works is to get the position of the nuts from a satellite in the sky. It has to be sunny for the information to get to us.

Peter: OK. Whatever. Let’s wait for the sun.

The next few days were overcast. Finally, there was a good day.

By that time, the neighborhood knew about the experiment. A crowd gathers to see if it would work.

Sammy: OK, here we go. No promises.

He calls up the first location. The GPPS gives him directions to the nuts. The other squirrels follow him as he tracks the nuts.

Sammy: The first nuts should be here. Peter, you and your friends dig down and see what you find.

Image result for squirrels digging for nuts

The young squirrels quickly burrow through the snow and the hard ground. Just under the surface, they find a large stash of acorns.

The squirrels watch in amazement and applaud.

Dan: I admit it, buddy. I thought you might have gone off the deep end. But this is incredible.

Kelly: June, you’re married to a genius!

Sammy blushes in embarrassment.

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Sammy: It’s just a little technology, not genius.

Dan: Whatever. You’re set for the winter.

Sammy: We were already set. These are for you folks.

The other squirrels look at Sammy. They go back to thinking he had lost his mind.

Sammy: I’m serious. We have enough nuts. We have piles like these all over the place. We want to share them.

Image result for squirrel with acorn

Kelly: How did you get so many nuts?

Sammy: We probably don’t have any more than your family gathered, but ours are buried in piles instead of one by one. Besides, I have an excellent team of hunters. (He looks at Peter and Sarah.)

Kelly: Are you sure you don’t need them?

June: Absolutely. We’re set for the rest of winter.

Sammy: Dig in. We’ll get the rest of the nuts later and you can divide them up. Next year, we can track everybody’s nuts and won’t worry about starving.

The hungry squirrels devour the nuts in the first hole and take the rest home. Luckily spring arrives before the acorns are gone.

Image result for squirrels in sun

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

How Does That Make You Feel?

April 28, 2015 | cat9984

I’ve been hearing an ad on the radio about therapy for cats who don’t get along. They don’t go into a lot of detail, so I’m not really sure what it’s all about. I’ve never been through any type of couple’s counseling, but I have quite a bit of experience with the individual type.

Maybe cat therapy would sound a little like this:

Therapist: So ladies, why don’t you tell me a little about yourselves?

Princess: Well, I was living happily with my humans until one day that (points at Cleo) shows up at the doorstep. She’s all mangy and smelly. She starts crying pathetically. So do the humans close the door to keep out the smell? No. They start feeding her! Next thing I know, she’s got a bed next to mine and I’m supposed to share my toys with her.

Cleo: I lived in a house with a lot of other cats. One day someone came with cages for all of us. I ran away. But it’s really hard living on the street. I kept trying to find a new human. Finally I met my new family. They’re wonderful! They fed me, they took me to the doctor and the groomer, and they let me stay in their house. It would be perfect if it weren’t for Her Highness over there.

(They look at each other and growl.)

Therapist: So what I’m hearing, Princess, is that you were an only cat and now you have a housemate. How does that make you feel?

Princess: What do you think? (Aside to Cleo – How much did Mom pay for this guy?)

Therapist: You don’t sound happy.

Cleo: That’s just how she talks. She always sounds kind of grouchy.

Therapist: What about you, Cleo? Are you afraid of Princess?

Cleo: I’m the one from the streets, remember? Why would I be afraid of her? (To Princess – He really doesn’t know much about cats, does he?)

Therapist: I’m sensing a little hostility from both of you.

Princess: We’re cats. We’re in a strange place. And you smell weird.

Cleo: And you talk weird.

Therapist: We’re here to talk about you, not me. Let’s focus.

Princess: OK, I don’t like having another cat around the house. It’s hard sharing the humans.

Cleo: It’s hard being in a new house.

Therapist: Good! We’re making progress!

(Both cats look at him and hiss.)

Princess (in cat): Why do humans always think they are the center of everything?

Cleo (in cat): I know. Even Mom and Dad do that sometimes.

Therapist: Now ladies, you were just started to explore your relationship and now you’re hissing and crying at each other.

(The cats look at each other helplessly.)

Princess: You don’t smell as weird as you used to. Maybe if I helped you groom, you’d be OK.

Cleo: I’d like that a lot. Sometimes I miss the other cats.

Princess: That way we could sleep together if it gets cold.

(Cleo starts to purr.)

Therapist: You’re making a lot of progress. I think we need to run through some practice scenarios. (Looks down) Oops, guess that will have to wait for the next session. Time’s up.

(Opens the door.)

Therapist: They did very well for a first session. I think in a few months they could be best friends.

(The cats look at each other. They start coughing. After a minute, each hacks a hairball onto the shoe closest to her.)

Therapist: Or maybe we’re done here.