Hedgehog Humor


Greetings from Horatio (Lord Nelson) Hedgehog. Mom had one of her carpal tunnels fixed last week and is still having a little trouble typing. Those cats were going to snarf another post, but I got here first. I figured I could be as entertaining as they are.

I went to a place called Animaljokes.co.uk. Their jokes were terrible. Like “What do hedgehogs like for supper? Prickled onions.” I don’t know what co.uk means, but it doesn’t mean funny.


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(from Google Images/Allrecipes)


So I went to Cheezburger. They weren’t very funny either:


I guess the cats are right – some people shouldn’t be allowed around animals:


So finally I decided to just show our cuteness:


Research is a lot more work than I thought it would be.



If you are interested in hedgehogs, I would recommend going to see the Little Silver Hedgehog. It’s blog that’s all about hedgehog rescue and preservation (they run a hedgehog hospital). I don’t think it’s American because when they talk about money, they use a funny-looking L. But it has lots of cute hedgehog pictures and eco-friendly stuff.

Thank you for reading.

Cat Forum: Interview with Fast Eddie


Hello. Snoops and Kommando here with another edition of Cat Forum. This time we are lucky enough to be interviewing Fast Eddie from Notes from the UK. The lady who writes it, Ellen Hawley, is very nice but only seems to write for humans.

(Our comments will look like this.)

We really like your name. How did you get it?

I’ve always been Fast Eddie.

People call cats silly things, but we have our own names. I don’t have to tell you that—you’re cats; you know these things—but we’re letting humans read this, so I’ll explain. If our people call us something silly, we ignore them and keep our names to ourselves. Sometimes they call us by our real names, though, and that happened to me. My people looked at me and said, “That’s Fast Eddie.” And I said, “Yeah. That’s me.”


Since it seems to be cloudy a lot there, do you have trouble finding good sun spots?

Nah. I can find a good sunny spot anytime the sun’s out. If it’s cloudy—well, yeah. I see your point. But in the winter, as soon as it gets dark my people make me a fire.

(Snoops: I hope Mom sees this.)

Horatio Hedgehog says that there are wild hedgehogs in Britain. Have you ever seen one?

Not for a while. We had one in the neighborhood, but she didn’t talk to me. I haven’t seen her for a long time. Maybe she went somewhere else to sulk. I figured hedgehogs weren’t friendly, but maybe that was just this one, huh?


Have you ever eaten clotted cream?

My people might read this, right? So, no. Never tried the stuff. That time on the table? Never happened.

It’s wonderful.

(Kommando: We definitely need to make sure Mom reads this.)

Do you get to go outside? Mom says it’s too dangerous here.

I have my own window that I can go in and out of. And a door in the summer. It can be dangerous, though. My predecessor, the mighty Smudge, got killed on the road, so I don’t go over there. But there’s plenty to do right here, in the back yards.

(Kommando: Mom, if we get the fire and the cream, I won’t trip you trying to get outside.)

You live with a dog, right? Does he try to boss you around?

I live with two dogs, and one of them is my mother. I mean, I had a cat mother but she had a whole lot of kittens and she kind of got tired of us. My dog mother, though? She never gets tired. She cleans my ears for me.


But the other dog? I told my people he was a bad idea, but they brought him home anyway. And he leaked. I told them, “This dog’s defective,” but you know what people are like. Even people who call you by your real name. They don’t listen.

So I told him, “You do that in the house and they’ll send you back,” and he doesn’t leak now. But he was still a bad idea.

(Snoops: I don’t think we want to take the chance. No dog.)

You live with two humans. What is the best thing about each of them?

They like me. And they feed me good things and keep my window open and pet me and stuff. So yeah, it’s a good home.

Is there anything else you would like to say?

Tell your hedgehog I said hi. And I’m sorry for what I said about hedgehogs. It must be just that one over here. She wasn’t very nice.

(Snoops: Horatio has days like that too. I think it’s a hedgehog thing.)

We want to thank Fast Eddie for his time. Be sure to stop by Notes from the UK. You can find lots of pictures of him if you follow a link at the top of the page. If you’re a human, you might like the human part too.




Halloween: The Well-Dressed Cat


Editorial Comment: We at Cheeseland are not fans of cats dressing for Halloween. However, as a service to those who are, we have invited Tiffany Furreau, consultant on “The Real Cats of Beverly Hills” to show us the latest trends in cat costumes. Please do not let your humans see these pictures.


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Greetings from sunny Southern California! I’m Tiffi, stylist to the stars, and I’m here to show you the latest in cat fashion for that special Halloween party.

One of our very favorites is the classic Puss in Boots. You can be every lady cat’s dream date. Don’t you just love the feather in the hat?

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Want something a little more traditional? Witches are always a good look. And as you can see, it’s no longer a black-cat only costume. Party at your house? Add a bubbling cauldron and you have a sure-fire winner.

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Going as your favorite food can be a great conversation starter. The tongue is a nice touch if you’re going for the irony angle.

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Maybe a group of friends could join the fun. This lobster costume is just adorable. I would probably ditch the pot. It looks so common. Besides, you couldn’t circulate and enjoy the food and drinks.

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I think this burger costume is very chic. But I do think it rather overwhelms the poor kitty wearing it. I think it would be perfect for a Maine Coon or Norwegian Forest cat. And after the party, it makes the perfect bed.

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Don’t you think these three would make an adorable selfie?


You’re almost certain to be a hit if you dress like a human. What better way to start the ball rolling on how silly humans are than to come as a pilgrim? And the look on this kitty’s face is perfect.

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Editors: Thank you very much Tiffi for your interesting offerings. However, we aren’t convinced. We still feel that the well-dressed cat looks best in fur at home or a party:

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Lions and Tigers and Bears (and Kittens)


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The lionesses planned a big night out

That the male lions weren’t happy about.

The cubs whined and cried

Til Mom’s nerves were fried

And so she went out and let them all pout.

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Tony and Tom Tiger ran away

Into the forest so they could play.

Their mother called out,

And they had no doubt

They needed to get home without delay.

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Polar, Kodiak, Panda, Brown, Black

Which bear thinks I’d be a tasty snack?

“Ugh,” says Brown Bear.

What have you there?

Tuna? Now that will cause a snack attack!

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She was a small, adorable ball of fur,

Who had the sweetest, most endearing purr.

But at time for bed,

She laid on my head.

And until breakfast time, she wouldn’t stir.

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Why are kittens made so darn incredibly cute?

Soft fur, little meows, lots of cuddles to boot.

With energy to spare,

And the down time quite rare,

You forgive the disgusting dead mouse in your boot.

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(pictures from Google images)

The Truth about Black Cats and Halloween


There are many stories about black cats and Halloween. Here’s a behind-the-scenes look at what they really do on October 31.

They make a list and check it twice

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Gotta make sure who’s naughty and nice

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First the naughty:

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Mouse in the bed here

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Missing candy there

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Making mischief everywhere

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Then the nice:

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Watching for trouble

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Protecting the treats

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Nuzzles and snuggles that can’t be beat

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At the end of a long night

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They can be seen

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Asleep in their beds, enjoying a dream

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This post is dedicated to Tigger, my parents’ first cat. She was a beautiful, long-haired tuxedo cat who would sit very still in the back corner of the porch and watch the trick-or-treaters. Every once in a while she would move, startling the kids who thought she was a decoration.

Cheeseland News Classified Ads



Image result for help wanted sign clipart   Help Wanted

Dam Builders. We are looking for some strong beavers who don’t mind working hard for the community. We are building dens for beavers left homeless by the recent storms. Must have good dental hygiene. We provide temporary housing. Potential long-term position for the right candidate.

Guard for senior mouse village. Must be alert and flexible in ability to respond to a variety of dangers. Experience preferred. No carnivores please.

Locksmith. Looking for someone who can make our house child-proof. Particularly young, blonde females. Something easy to use with paws. Must not be afraid of the woods or large bears.


Image result for for sale sign clipart  For Sale

Cat door. We have finally trained the humans to let us in and out on demand. Some damage from dog trying to squeeze through. Newer model. Both entrance and exit functional.

Empty nest. Perfect for those couples who were surprised to find out that they need a permanent abode for the season. Secluded location, safe distance from the ground. Furnished with rabbit fur and dryer fluff. No leaks. Sheltered from the rain.

Running wheel. Husband wanted to run to keep in shape. Ran after girl next door instead. Barely used. You won’t find a better deal.

Sheep’s clothing. Full set, size XXL. Slight smell of wolf should disappear with airing.


Image result for heart clipart  Personals

Image result for calico tomcat  Handsome Calico Tom looking for beautiful young kitties seeking fun and adventure. Weight proportional to bone structure. Not looking for an exclusive relationship.

Image result for brown bear  Lonely Male Brown Bear looking for ongoing relationship with a kindred spirit. Someone who likes long walks in the woods and long naps together. Ideally you will also love fishing and tree climbing. Not interested in an aggressive partner. No taste for humans.

Image result for gray squirrel  Female Gray Squirrel looking for foraging partner. Someone to gather nuts with and play chase around the woods. Must have good memory. Potential winter nest for the right guy.


Image result for money clipart   Business Opportunities

Perfect opportunity for feline entrepreneurs. Get in on the ground floor of Catnip Unlimited. Develop your own field of specially developed, extra-potent catnip. Easy to grow, easy to sell. Franchise opportunities available in many locations. Don’t miss this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Potential franchisees will be subject to a background check for history of addiction.

Always wanted your own humans but didn’t know what to look for? Try time-sharing with other animals. You can buy into this unique arrangement for a small down payment. See whether you like living alone with humans, with of other species, or fellow animals of your own species. Our humans have been carefully chosen for their ability to get along with a variety of animals.

Are you tired of your food and belongings smelling of human? Need some extra money for the holidays? Become a Human No sales agent. Practically sells itself. Comes in a variety of scents. Will remove even the most pungent smells. Makes your home smell like home again.

Cat Forum: Halloween Safety


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Snoops: Greetings, fellow felines. Welcome to Cat Forum where we catch the news that the others drop.

Kommando: Do you like that? The marketing folks thought we needed a slogan and that’s what they came up with. It makes me think of a dog sitting under the dinner table.

Snoops: Regardless …

Kommando: Seriously, Snoops. Do you want a slogan that makes the audience think of drooly dogs?

Snoops: We can deal with that later. We have a very special guest today. She is Captain Ginger McPhurrson from the Cat Safety Patrol. She is going to be giving us some tips about Halloween Safety. Welcome Captain and thank you for being here.

Captain McPhurrson: Thank you for having me. I would like to commend you for planning ahead. So many cats think that all you need to do for Halloween is get some kibble treats and send the kittens out around the neighborhood.

Kommando: See? The other people didn’t even get a chance to drop this. It’s a dumb slogan.

Captain McPhurrson (laughing): You may have a point there, Kommando. There are three things I would like to talk about: trick or treating, catnip, and humans.

First is trick or treating. If you are planning to allow your kittens to go out this Halloween, you need to go with them. The days are gone when the fathers could take out the kids and hang out drinking spiked cream while the kittens went door to door.

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Last year, we caught a band of cats who were ransoming kittens for tuna and other goodies. A whole neighborhood bought tuna steaks to get their kittens back.

Snoops: That’s terrible. Those poor kittens!

Kommando: Those cats should be sent to a dog shelter!

Captain McPhurrson: We agree. The important thing is that no kitten should be out by themselves on Halloween. This also applies to the 1-year-olds who think they are all grown up. No parent means no trick or treating.

Snoops: That is definitely good advice. What else do you have for us?

Captain McPhurrson: I want to emphasize that Halloween is meant to be fun, but catnip needs to be used responsibly. Every year the hospitals are full of hallucinating cats.

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Snoops: Can you tell us how much is safe to use?

Captain McPhurrson: Well, that’s part of the problem. Some cats don’t seem to be affected by it at all, while others seem to be “nipped” after a few leaves. We recommend that every party have at least one or two non-nippers. That way they can watch for friends who seem to be overly frenzied.

And under no circumstances whatsoever should catnip be given to a kitten under one year old.

Snoops: You said you also wanted to talk about humans.

Captain McPhurrson: Our best advice is to avoid them as much as possible during the Halloween season. Those of you who live in cat communities should stay in your neighborhoods. Humans are all wrapped up in their own kittens and don’t watch where they’re going. Besides, human kittens are scary on Halloween. They usually dress up so they don’t look like humans.

Kommando: The really funny ones are the ones that try to look like cats.

Captain McPhurrson: They are scary looking.

You cats who keep human servants have a different issue. Some of those humans will try to get you to dress up in little costumes or use you as a prop for their party. You shouldn’t sacrifice your dignity for the humans, no matter what treats they offer. Before you know it, you will be on Instagram or Facebook and all your friends will know.

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Snoops: That is a lot of really good advice, Captain. Thank you again for being on our show.

Captain McPhurrson: I enjoyed being here. I hope you both have a happy, safe Halloween.



(All other pictures courtesy of Google Images)