20

Merry Christmas!!

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Wherever you are, we hope you are having a wonderful day!

Purrs, Snoops and Kommando Kitty

Pictures courtesy of Google Images (except us)

17

Christmas Carols for Cats by Thunder

   I Can Has Cheezburger?

Hello! It’s Thunder, and I am so glad to be back! Christmas is one of my favorite holidays (after all, I get lots of yummy food and cool gifts), but I noticed a disturbing trend: the Christmas music humans listen to is just not cat friendly! (I would know- Mom insists on listening to it from the day after Thanksgiving until Christmas is over.) So, I went through and rewrote the lyrics to some well known songs to make them better (I did 12 songs to represent the 12 days of Christmas. I better get gifts all 12 of those days). Enjoy! 

“The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t be Late)”

I was really excited when I saw the title of this song. I thought for sure it would be about the chipmunks we see on cat TV! But it doesn’t even mention chipmunks- how disappointing! So, I’ve updated it to

Christmas, Christmas time is here.

Time to chase the chipmunks and deer.

They seem fun but they won’t play.

All they do is stay outside all day.

Want a friend to chase the dot- and a chipmunk with lots of nuts!

We can hardly stand the wait, so Christmas don’t be late. 

All I Want for Christmas is You

I was a little disturbed when I realized that the singer wanted a human for Christmas. But then I realized many shelter cats would love a human! Obviously, this song was written for all displaced and homeless pets. The correct lyrics would go

I don’t want a lot for Christmas,

There are just a few things I need.

A warm lap to cuddle up on, and some food that I can eat.

I just need a light to chase, and a litter box in a clean place.

Make my wish come true,

Because just for Christmas, I choose you!

Jingle Bell Rock

The author of this song got one thing right- bells do rock! Some of my favorite toys have bells in them. But bells have nothing to do with sleighs or horses. What they could have composed would be more along the lines of

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock!

Jingle bells play and jingle bells stay – in the way of Mom and Dad- when they trip they get really mad.

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock!

Jingle bells are fun when you place them in socks.

Bat them, and swat them, and hunt them down- and listen to the bell sound!

Rocking Around the Christmas Tree

This song is proof that trees are meant to be played with- a fact that we cats already knew (after all, why else would you put shiny, dangly balls all over them?) But humans must play in a boring way. The cat-tastic lyrics would read

Rocking around the Christmas tree,

Chase the ribbons on the box.

Ornaments hung where you can see,

Every kitty starts to swat.

Rocking around the Christmas tree, every kitty stops in shock.

Shinies and danglies all around, let us knock them to the ground.

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

I’m not really sure what a Christmas is supposed to look like, but if the month of December is any indication, it involves a lot of boxes, wrapping paper, and bows. Sounds more like Cat-mas! After all, I’ve never seen my big humans entertained by a box (the human kittens are another story). Thus, more appropriate lyrics would read

It’s beginning to look a lot like Cat-mas!

Toys all over the floor.

Look at the giant box, and the tins of lox,

With shiny ribbons and wrapping papers and bows!

It’s beginning to look a lot like Cat-mas. Lights in every door.

But the prettiest sight to see will be the presents that will be for all cats to adore!

Silent Night 

Clearly this person lived alone under a rock. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced a silent night (although to be fair, Angel likes to practice her singing around 2am every night). However, if this make believe scenario were to happen, some more appropriate lyrics might read

Silent night! Kitties don’t fight!

All the mice are quiet and nice.

Tinsel hangs on the big Christmas tree.

Kitties pounce on the decor with glee.

Now let my humans awake!

So they can feed me at day break.

Holly Jolly Christmas

There isn’t really anything wrong with this song, except it is so heavily biased towards humans enjoying the holiday, and not cats. A more cat friendly song would read

Have a holly jolly Christmas!

It’s the best time of the year.

Lots of food, a festive mood, and pets go all around.

Have a holly jolly Christmas!

And when you walk down the street,

Stop in the store, go and explore, and buy me a tasty treat!

Do You Hear What I Hear?

I couldn’t decide if she was hunting small prey, or if she was psychotic. For the sake of writing, I’ll go with the former assumption. Because cats have better (and slightly more selective) hearing, my version would read

Said the kitty cat to her feline friend-

Do you hear what I hear?

It sounds like the opening of a can!

Do you hear what I hear?

A can, a can, opens in the night,

It will fill our tummies with delight! It will fill our tummies with delight!  

Up on the Housetop 

We get a stray cat and squirrels on our roof. We have a metal roof, so they’re really noisy- it’s quite annoying. Several naps have been interrupted because of this. Whoever wrote this seems to think it’s a good thing when someone is on your roof, so maybe it’s better at Christmas time. I will find out. In the hopes that this is true, I wrote these words to replace the traditional song:

Up on the housetop kitties jump.

They sit and lay and lounge in the sun.

Then comes dinner time and they go inside.

And stay all night to nap and hide.

Oh, oh, oh, where did kitty go?

Oh, oh, oh, nobody knows.

There she is, in the window she sits!

Watching Santa Paws and a guy named Nick.

Santa Claus is Coming to Town

Apparently some big dude is supposed to break into our house and give the human kittens presents. I have yet to decide if this is cool or creepy. I guess as long as he brings food and big boxes, he can’t be too bad. But his song should go more like this:

You better watch out, you better not cry.

There’s a big man bringing meats and mice and pies.

Santa Paws is coming to town,

Santa Paws is jumping down, Santa Paws is coming around!

He’s making dinner lists, chicken and rice. Sausage and gravy and beef and mice.

Santa Paws is coming to town,

Santa Paws is jumping down, Santa Paws is coming around!

We Three Kings

This song is pretty cat-oriented to begin with- lots of people travel to spoil the baby with cool gifts. Sounds like paradise to me. But the gifts sound disgusting- my humans said they were spices and metal. I’ve adapted a better version:

We three cats of Orient are

Very hungry after traveling far.

Tummies growling, low meowing, as we stare at a food jar.

Oh-oh, can of wonder, can of delight!

Can with dinner meant for tonight!

Smells like chicken, chops a licking,

Fills my tummy up for the night.

Joy to the World

There is nothing more joyful than a cat! I realize the song is referring to Jesus, who, don’t get me wrong, seems like a really cool guy. I bet he had a cat. But if we’re talking about bringing joy to the world, the lyrics should definitely be more like:

Joy to the world!

The cat has come!

She brings a mousie gift!

Let every cat receive a nap,

And treats and pets galore! And treats and pets galore!

And treats, and pets and snuggles for her!

Hopefully you’ve enjoyed the updated Cat-mas music! If you like any of the classics (Mom does), I apologize that you’ve been listening to the wrong lyrics your whole life. Have a merry and safe Christmas, and may you recieve lots of boxes and shiny ribbons!

Author’s note- this blog was written in memory of my human dad’s father, Morten Weisfeld (July 15th, 1951-December 1st, 2021). Even though you were a dog owner, may you have eternal sun spots and plenty of naps. We will miss you, and will always love you.

Purrs and furs, 

Thunder K. Katt

10

Gator Family Christmas – Part 2

This is the Santa Alligator, he brings presents to every Alligator who serves in the Alligator Army, you all have been added to his nice list :) : r/Alligator_Army

Where we are – Stan and Adele have invited the family to South Carolina to celebrate Christmas. On his way to pick up his son Vinny, Uncle Stu met a woman and thinks he’s in love. You can read Part 1 here.

It was two days before Christmas. Vinny pulled into the driveway and everyone went out to meet him.

Stan: Welcome! Glad you made it.

Stan looks in the car.

Stan: Where’s Uncle Stu?

800-pound gator caught on camera - CNN Video

Vinny: The last time I saw him, he was baking Christmas cookies.

Granny started laughing.

Granny: Stu’s never baked anything in his life. Your mother was afraid to let him in the kitchen.

John: Remember when he tried to grill that turkey? He didn’t realize you had to light the fire ahead of time. He ended up setting the turkey on fire.

Vinny (laughing): Yeah. We had to go buy clam chowder for everyone to eat. Maybe I shouldn’t have said he was baking. He was sitting in the kitchen while Katya was doing all the work.

Granny: That sounds more like Stu.

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Adele: Is Katya his new soul mate?

Vinny: I guess. She seems nice enough.

Adele: How did he meet her?

Vinny: He went up to her house to ask for directions. He couldn’t figure out how to get to my house. She asked him to come in, and he’s still there.

Granny: We should have guessed. So he wants to stay with her rather than us for Christmas?

Vinny: You know Dad. She was nice to him, so he thinks he’s in love.

Gator Country - Gators need cuddles, too!! | Facebook

Stan: In fairness, he does irritate a lot of people. It was probably nice to find someone agreeable.

Vinny: He’s safer with her than some of the other characters he runs across.

Justine: Reading his stories on GatorGab is amazing, Uncle Stu leads a very interesting life for a retired gator.

Adele: He does have some interesting adventures.

Granny: He’s too trusting. He lets other people talk him into doing stupid things. So he’s not coming for Christmas.

Vinny: Katya told him he was welcome to spend the holidays with her if he would like. He thinks it would be a nice change.

Granny: Change from what? He’s never been to Stan and Adele’s. It’s our first Christmas here.

Vinny shrugged. He was disappointed his father hadn’t come with him, but knew that there was no point in arguing with him. His father was as stubborn an alligator as he’d ever met.

  • Pin on Animals, Animals, Animals

Suzy: Well, that’s disappointing. He’s funny and he tells great stories.

Adele: I agree, honey. Maybe we can invite him again next year.

The rest of the gators spent the evening catching up with Vinny. On Christmas Eve, everyone put their presents under the tree. They drank eggnog and at cookies while Granny told stories about Stan and his brothers when they were young alligators.

Justine, Suzy, and Danny listened intently. They loved hearing about Christmas at the swamp. Before long, it was bedtime.

Granny: You kids better get to bed. It’s time for Santa Claws to come.

Suzy: Oh, Granny! You know we’re too old for Santa.

Granny: I know, dear. But I need some peace and quiet. I’m not used to having everyone around. I want to be well-rested for the big meal tomorrow.

In the morning, they were opening their presents when there was a commotion outside.

Florida Woman Fights to Keep Her Pet Alligator Who Wears Clothes and 'Rides' ATVs - ABC News

Adele: What is all that noise?

Stan: It sounds like sleigh bells.

Adele: We live in South Carolina. It can’t be sleigh bells.

Justine: It’s definitely bells.

This Woman Is Dangerous: Alligator at the door

Someone knocked on the door. Then rang the doorbell. And rang the bell again. And again.

Adele: Hold on. I’m coming.

She opened the door.

Adele: Stu! What are you doing here?

Stu: I thought I was invited for Christmas. Today’s Christmas.

Adele: You were invited. But you told Vinny that you were staying in Florida. With Katya.

Stu: I never said that. I said I wasn’t coming with him.

Vinny: Dad, you said you were staying there.

Florida woman shocked to find 'aggressive' eight-foot alligator knocking on her door | Daily Mail Online

Stu: I did stay there. But now I’m here. Can I come in?

Adele: Of course. How did you get here? Did you drive by yourself?

Stu: No. Katya drove me. She has an excellent sense of direction.

Adele: Where is she?

Stu: I told her she wasn’t invited. She’s in the car waiting for me.

Granny: Stu! You’re an idiot. Tell her to get in here. It’s Christmas. We’re not going to make her wait in the car after she was nice enough to bring you all the way up here.

American Alligators resting

Stu: Okay. I didn’t want to impose on Adele. You’re really going to like her.

Stu went out to the car and invited Katya in. She explained that Stu hadn’t told her that he was supposed to be going to a big family Christmas. Once she found out what he was missing, she insisted on driving him up so he wouldn’t get lost. Her own family was celebrating later in the week so she wouldn’t miss anything by helping Stu.

Stu acted as if nothing unusual occurred. He sat at the head of the table and got the biggest slice of roast beef.

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Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

 

21

Gator Family Christmas

130 Alligators Etc. ideas in 2021 | crocodiles, alligator, animals wild

Stan and Adele and their daughters Justine and Suzy are hosting the family Christmas this year. Most of the relatives from south Florida will be coming to South Carolina for the festivities. You can read about their family reunion here and here.

Justine: I’m so excited! I can’t believe Granny’s going to be here for Christmas! When are they arriving?

Adele: Your Uncle John is supposed to be driving everyone up the week before in his camper.

Suzy: What about Cousin Danny? Is he coming?

Adele: He’s in school until that Tuesday. So he’ll be coming separately.

Alligators avoid some beaches but not all

Stan: Cousin Vinny’s going to be able to get some time off from the resort for the holidays. So he and Uncle Stu will be coming separately. They won’t be staying as long.

Adele: Thank goodness! I was afraid Stu was going to try to find the house by himself, and we’d never see him again.

Justine: It is kind of scary how bad his sense of direction is. We’re friends on GatorGab. Last week, he was walking on the beach and was partway to Daytona before he realized he missed the turn into his subdivision.

Adele: We should probably start cleaning so we can get everything decorated before they get here.

Alligator basking in the sun | One of the alligators at Sant… | Flickr

Suzy: Where is everyone going to stay? Our house isn’t that big.

Stan: I’m renting a sauna. They said it feels just like southern Florida in the summer.

Justine: Oooh! That sounds nice.

Stan: And I’m going to set up a sunlamp in the basement.

Granny Gertie arrived with John, Jacob, and Norm a few days before Christmas.

Suzy: Hi Granny! Did you have a good trip?

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Granny: It was long. Your Uncle John doesn’t really believe in taking rest breaks while he’s driving. I feel stiff.

John: Mom, you’re an alligator. You always walk like that.

Norm: Besides, it would have taken forever if we had stopped every time you wanted to. You wanted to eat every time you saw a picture of food.

Granny: It all looked so delicious.

John: How are things here? Adele, the house looks amazing.

Adele: Thanks, John. We’re doing well. Today was my last day of work before the holidays. We had our big potluck.

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Justine: Mom took swamp grass cookies. They’re always a big hit.

Adele: We exchanged “Secret Santa” gifts. Here’s mine.

She held up a package of “Roadkill Helper.”

Adele: Apparently someone thinks I don’t know how to cook.

Justine: You said your Secret Santa was that goofy chameleon. He’s just afraid of you.

Stan: You did threaten to step on him once.

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Granny: Don’t worry about it dear. You can give it back to him at next year’s gift exchange. Could someone show me where we’re sleeping? I’d like to take a nap before dinner.

The visiting gators settled in. Danny arrived a few days later. Three days before Christmas, Vinny and Stu still had not arrived. Justine was scrolling through GatorGab and saw a post from Uncle Stu.

Justine: Hey, guys. Uncle Stu says that he left for South Carolina yesterday. Has anyone heard from him?

Stan: No. Does it say anything about Vinny?

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Justine: He says that he is going to pick up Vinny and head here.

Suzy: He’s picking up Vinny?

Norm: It’s supposed to be the other way around. Somebody better call Vinny.

Granny: I’ll try to reach Stu. My brother has the common sense of a pumpkin.

Granny and Stan started trying to figure out what was going on while the others paced around the house. 

Granny: Stu got bored waiting for Vinny and decided that he would go to South Miami to pick him up at the club. He says he’s north of the city at a very nice lady gator’s house.

a congregation of alligators

Stan: So Vinny can pick him up there?

Granny: He’s not sure he wants to come anymore. He thinks she might be his soul mate. I told him he’s an idiot.

Stan: Vinny wants to know what he should do.

Granny: He should pick up his idiot father and bring him to the family Christmas.

Justine: Maybe we should invite the lady gator too. Uncle Stu just changed his relationship status to “It’s Complicated” on GatorGab.

Granny Gator began to make a low growling noise deep in her throat.

Next week: Will Uncle Stu and Cousin Vinny make it to South Carolina for Christmas? (see part 2 here)

Santa gator: Woman allowed to keep pet alligator in home - ABC7 New York

17

2021 Gift Guide for the Pampered Kitty

Greetings fellow felines. It’s that time of year again when we ask Santa Claws to fulfill our hearts’ desires. This year we decided that we would focus our buying guide on cool beds. After all, what cat doesn’t like to curl up in comfort on a cold winter day. So look through the items we found, and circle the one you want to find under your Christmas tree.

K&H Pet Products Thermo-Kitty Heated Cat Bed – $84.99 (also available from Amazon)

When unoccupied, the bed surface will remain 10-15 degrees greater than room temperature. When in use, the bed will heat to your cat’s natural body temperature, which is about 102° F.

MYZOO Spaceship Gamma – $155 (also available from Amazon)

Wall-mounted and futuristic. What could be cooler?

MEOWFIA Premium Cat Bed Cave – $49.99 (Amazon)

Handmade from merino wool. Snug as a bug in a rug. (So to speak.)

Paws & Purrs Modern Pet Sofa – $269 (Amazon)

Purr-fectly elegant. Get a set and invite an intellectual friend over for kitty book club.

D+GARDEN Wicker Cat Bed – $125.99 (Amazon)

Bring your garden memories into the house. This bed is especially comfy for big kitties.

B.U.STYLE Cat Bed Basket Swinging Pet House Nest – $109.90 (Amazon)

You can move this beauty outside in the spring. It’s intended for smaller kitties so it may be a little delicate for some of you. (But it does look pretty spiffy.)

Finally, we thought that we would include a couple of treats just because we came across them when we were using Mr. Google and they looked interesting.

Tuna Sticks Cat Treats – $9.99

These delicious-looking treats are hand-rolled and baked. They contain tuna, whole wheat flour, eggs, parsley, and water.

Lactose-Free Ice Cream – $10.99

Your human can make you ice cream from powdered goat’s milk, bonito (fish) flakes, and water. All they do is mix and freeze. Yummy!

Hopefully you’ve seen something that appeals to you. After all, we can all use another napping place.

Ed. Note: We have not actually tried any of these products and are not endorsing them We just thought they looked cool.

 

19

Thanksgiving Presentation at Critter Cove Elementary School

Shelter Dogs and Cats Receive Special Thanksgiving Feast • The Catnip Times

Ms. Celeste: Good morning, class! Today’s the day that we start your presentations on foreign cultures. I’m excited to find out what you’ve learned about groups who are different from you. Timmy Tortie, you’re up first. What will you be talking about?

Timmy: I’m going to talk about human Thanksgiving.

Susie Siamese: You mean when they go to those buildings and talk to God?

Timmy: No. It’s a big day at the end of the month of November here in the U.S. They get together with their family and friends for dinner.

Raccoon army - Meta - The Blockheads

Ralph Raccoon: Why?

Timmy: A bunch of them came over from the other side of the world a long time ago. Apparently, the people who were already living here invited them to a big dinner. Or helped them learn how to grow stuff. Or didn’t kill and eat them. Or something.

Jimmy Wolf: So they get together to help each other as a way to commemorate?

Timmy: No. Basically, they get together and they eat a lot. Some of them talk about stuff they’re thankful for.

Susie: My Mom used to live with humans. She didn’t really like Thanksgiving. She said it was really loud. The turkey was pawsome, but the people yelled a lot.

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Timmy: Some things I read said that people get really stressed out because they have to spend time with their weird family members. I guess you can’t just invite the good ones. And sometimes humans drink stuff that makes them act silly and say stupid things.

Belinda Bear: Why do they do that?

Other Children: Humans are weird!

Ms. Celeste: What else can you tell us about human Thanksgiving, Timmy?

Timmy: Sometimes, they march in parades or watch other humans march in them.

Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade going virtual due to COVID-19 | 13newsnow.com

Ralph: What’s a parade?

Timmy: It’s when a bunch of people walk down a street. Sometimes they do tricks like dancing or riding a bike. Some play instruments or sing. And some ride on platforms that they call “floats” even though nothing is floating.

Tony Tabby: That is super weird.

Ralph: Do they sing and dance about thanking someone or something?

Timmy: Not as far as I can tell.

Ralph: So what’s the point?

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Timmy: Santa Claws comes at the end of the parade and the humans welcome him back.

Susie: That can’t be right. Santa Claws comes on Christmas Eve. He’s busy getting ready before that.

Timmy: Don’t worry. It’s not the real Santa Claws. It’s just some human who dresses up like him. They don’t look realistic at all.

Jimmy: I’m getting really confused. What does Santa Claws have to do with Thanksgiving?

Timmy: According to Catepedia.com, the humans like to see Santa Claws so they know it’s time to start shopping for Christmas.

Jimmy: Couldn’t they just use a calendar?

Wolf pup howling: pics

The class laughed, but Jimmy looked confused.

Timmy: It’s hard to explain why humans do things sometimes. Someone started doing the Santa thing a long time ago, so now it’s what they call a tradition.

Jimmy: So human Christmas kinda of starts at the end of Thanksgiving?

Timmy: Kinda. They do a lot of shopping that weekend.

Tony: That is really bizarre. They get together to eat a lot of food. Then shop.

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Timmy: One other thing that a lot of them do on Thanksgiving is watch American football. It’s a game with a bunch of men on one team running around trying to keep the other team from reaching the end of the field.

Susie: What does that have to do with giving thanks?

Timmy: As far as I can tell, nothing. Some humans just like to watch other humans play-fight. It gives them something to do while they’re waiting for all that food to cook. And it keeps them out of the way.

Crazy Cat Lady - My teen...all day...everyday! UGH!! ----- *Thanks to one  of our readers for this amazingly adorable photo of their kitty!* | Facebook

Susie: It probably gives them something else to argue about.

Timmy: That’s really all I know about Thanksgiving. It sounded a lot more promising before I did the research. I think it’s a pawsome idea, but it could use some work.

Susie: Yeah. Maybe the animals should take it over and show the humans how to do it right.

Ms. Celeste: Susie, that’s a wonderful idea. Let’s have our own Thanksgiving.

Next week: The Critter Cover Elementary School Thanksgiving.

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Pictures courtesy of Google Images

 

20

Christmas Gift List: 2020 Edition

18 Perfect Cat Christmas Presents | PetCareRx

Since so many humans are on limited budgets this year, we decided to make an exception to our usual listing of gifts we deserve and give you a list of unique gifts. We got them from Etsy, so they are a little different from the usual offerings.

Rosa Rodents – $20.99 for 3 pack

There isnt a better cat toy. Price includes USA shipping of 3 image 0

Not only incredibly fun to play with, these mice are so realistic looking that you can drop one on your human if they are slow getting out of bed to feed you. You will definitely get a reaction.

Cat Hammock – $149

Cat hammock  New Moon Cat Bed Or. edit. Cat furniture image 0

Fluffy and warm, this is the perfect hammock for the colder weather. Put it in front of the fireplace and you’re set for those long winter naps.

Cat Cave – $32.30

FeltnPet Cozy Cat Cave-Strawberry Cat Bed-Felted Cat image 0

Someplace soft and warm to get away from the hustle and bustle of your busy everyday life. And you will look incredibly cute.

Catnip Joints Cat Toy (3 pack or 5 pack) – $14 for the 3 pack

Catnip Joints Cat Toy 3 pack or 5 pack image 0

If you have a human who enjoys smoking whatever, now you can join them with your herb of choice. Note: Do not let your human smoke these. They are for play only.

Mystery Box – $17

Mystery box for cats Cat toy mystery box Cat gift box image 0

You get 3 toys, but you don’t know what they are until you open the box. It will take the pressure off your human to find a variety of toys.

Valerian Cat Toy – $9.75

Happy Cats Valerian cat toy large valerian toy jouet chat à image 0

Feeling a little stressed? This toy is perfect for you. A kicker toy filled with prime valerian root.

Wooden Cat Tree – $239

Mau  Wooden Cat Tree Unique Cat Trees Wood Cat Tower Cat Brown

Fur and wood. What more could a cat ask for in a tree? Get a manicure then take a nap.

Pampered Cat – 1Funny.com

 If you don’t see anything you like, there are about a million (Mom says that’s what you say when you didn’t count them but there’s a lot) catnip toys and kickers in different shapes. If you still don’t like anything, you can ask Mr. Google for “Gifts for the Pampered Cat.” That’s where the really good stuff is.

Xmas Presents | Cat christmas gift, Christmas cats, Cat gifts

All product pictures courtesy of Etsy and the pages referenced. All cat pictures courtesy of Google Images. We have not tried any of these products.

32

Yule Cat as Fashion Police

Jólakötturinn Iceland's Christmas Cat - Posts | Facebook

Please note: Everyone knows that we would never allow any human to dress us up for an occasion. We are not passing judgement on cats who choose to dress up for the holidays. We are passing judgement on humans who insist their cohabiting cats dress up to please them, the human.

Cats that once lived outside have learned to appreciate the inside

You may remember Yule Cat. He’s an Icelandic enforcer and you want to stay on his good side. Traditionally in Iceland, if you finished all your chores by Christmas Eve you would get a new set of clothes on Christmas.

Yule Cat prowls around the neighborhoods on Christmas Eve, checking children’ s presents to see if they are receiving clothing. If they are, Yule Cat continues on his way. If the child has been naughty and didn’t finish their chores, Yule Cat will see that the child is not receiving a present. Yule Cat eats the child’s meal as an appetizer and has the child for the main course.

O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, Your Ornaments Are History | Kittens  Whiskers

We propose something similar. Yule Cat will prowl the neighborhoods, looking in windows. If he sees a kitty dressed in fur, he will pass along. If he sees a kitty dressed up and looking content, he will pass along. However, if he sees a cat who is struggling to get out of the clothes or fighting not to put them on, he will spring into action. Not only will he destroy the offending kitty clothes, he will destroy the festive wear of the responsible human.

We imagine something like this:

Cat Humor: Meet Five Of Santa's Cat Elves | Christmas cats, Christmas  animals, Cats

Verdict: An obviously unhappy cat. Release the poor creature and show me the way to the human’s closet.

Woman dresses up her cats for Christmas in festive onesies | Daily Mail  Online

Verdict: Minimal costume. Cats seem relaxed. No need for me here.

cats dressed for Christmas – EXIT ONLY

Verdict: Someone needs to explain the difference between cats and reindeer to this human. The poor cat is not amused. I hope the human has wool. I love wool.

Free download Cats Dressed Up For Christmas Wallpaper Wallpapers Quality  [1024x768] for your Desktop, Mobile & Tablet | Explore 50+ Cute Cat Dressed  Wallpapers | Cute Cat Dressed Wallpapers, Cute Cat Backgrounds,

Verdict: This little one is almost asleep. Let them be.

huffingtonpost.com on Flipboard: Cats Dressed Up For Christmas Are The  Greatest Gift This Holiday Season

Verdict: Where do we start? Any human who dresses their cat to look like a drunk Santa is obviously doing it without the cat’s consent. We think we’ll have the dinner as well as the clothes.

Christmas Cats (Photos)

Verdict: This is not a happy cat. We have no choice but to destroy your party clothes.

Remember humans. Your cat may put up with the clothes you make them wear, but that doesn’t mean they like wearing them. Yule Cat may be right around the corner.

Free download Cute kitty cat christmas wallpaper Cute cat dress up as Santa  [1024x1024] for your Desktop, Mobile & Tablet | Explore 50+ Cute Cat Dressed  Wallpapers | Cute Cat Dressed Wallpapers,

 

All pictures courtesy of Google Images.

 

15

Show and Tell Surprise – Conclusion

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Where we are: Ms. Beaver’s elementary school class is going to have its first Show and Tell. Mike Moose has told his friends that he has a great idea about what he’s bringing, but he really doesn’t have any ideas. You can read Part 1 here.

Mike got home without any ideas coming to mind.

Mom: Hi, sweetie. How was school?

Mike (gloomily): It was terrible. We couldn’t go outside today, and everyone was really bored. Then Ms. Beaver said that we would have Show and Tell tomorrow to make it better.

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Mom: That’s not so bad. At least you’ll have a better day tomorrow.

Mike: Not really. I want to take something awesome. But I don’t have anything awesome.

Mom: What do you think is awesome?

Mike: I don’t know. Just something that no one else has.

Mike’s mom thought for a few minutes. Then she made a suggestion that Mike really liked. He was excited the next day when he went to school and could hardly wait for Show and Tell. Finally, it was time.

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Ms. Beaver: It’s time for Show and Tell. Who would like to go first?

Everyone raised their hand. Ms. Beaver decided that the only fair way would be to go around the room. The children each showed their item. There were favorite books, pictures of gardens, favorite toys, and a few other things. Finally, it was Mike’s turn.

Mike: I had a lot of trouble deciding what to bring today. Finally, my mom made a really good suggestion. I’d like to introduce you to my grandmother, Joanie Moose.

The children started to giggle. Why would he bring in his grandmother? Was she supposed to be the great idea?

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Joanie: Hello, children. I bet you’re wondering what’s so special about me, aren’t you?

Egbert Bear: No offense intended. We were just wondering why Mike would bring in his grandmother.

Joanie: Mike thought that you might enjoy a story that I have to tell about when I was a young moose.

The children quieted down and listened.

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Joanie: When I was a young moose, I met one of Santa’s reindeer. He wasn’t one of the famous ones. Julius was one of the backups in case someone got sick on Christmas Eve. We went out a few times and had really liked each other.

Finally, he asked me to come home with him and meet Santa and the other reindeer. You can imagine how excited I was. Santa was really nice, just like you hear in the stories. And the reindeer were all kind. It was a wonderful trip.

At the end, Julius asked me to stay with him at the North Pole. I thought about it, but decided that I wanted to be at home with my family. So, I came back down here to Northland. I met Mike’s grandfather and had a wonderful family. But once in a while I think about my visit to the North Pole.

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The children were enthralled. She had met Santa! They asked her a lot of questions until Ms. Beaver said it was time to get back to work, and Joanie went home. After school, the children were still talking about it.

Egbert: Okay, I was wrong. You did have the best Show and Tell.

Joey Hare: Yeah. That was amazing. Maybe sometime we could come over to your house and talk to her some more.

Mike: Maybe. She would probably like that.

The children were still talking about Joanie for several days after that.

Image result for moose family

 

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

 

18

Santa Claws and the New Delivery System – Part 2

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Where we are: Mortimer Weasel has convinced Santa Claws that he needs to have his toys built by elves all over the world rather than just the North Pole. Santa would be able to pick up the toys locally for delivery to the kittens in the area. Unfortunately, Santa finds out three days before Christmas that some of the toys won’t be ready.

(The link to the first part of the story is at the right.)

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Santa: What am I going to do? That idiot has ruined Christmas for all of those poor little kittens.

Mrs. Claws: I have an idea.

Santa: Thank you, dear. But I don’t think there’s time for anything now.

Mrs. Claws: Just trust me.

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Mrs. Claws ran off while Santa continued to pace back and forth. Finally, he curled up in front of the fire and went to sleep. He dreamed about chasing weasels through the snow.

When Santa woke up, it was dark. Mrs. Claws still wasn’t back. He walked back to the house; she wasn’t there either. Where had she gone? Finally, she came in and nuzzled Santa.

Santa: There you are! I was getting worried. Where have you been?

Mrs. Claws: I told you. I had an idea about how to fix your problem.

Image result for cats nuzzling"

Santa: Did it work?

Mrs. Claws: We’ll know in the morning.

Santa and Mrs. Claws had dinner. They curled up and went to sleep. Before they knew it, someone was ringing the bell. Santa got up and answered the door. It was Greta. She had been chief of toy production before Mortimer eliminated her job.

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Santa: Greta! It’s wonderful to see you! How have you been? What brings you here?

Greta: I’m great, Santa. Mrs. Claws came to see me yesterday and told me about your problems. We elves had been wondering how this new system was going to work. Everyone’s feeling badly that we let that weasel talk us into it.

Santa: It’s not your fault, Greta. I’m sure he made it sound fool-proof.

Greta: Anyway, is Mrs. Claws here?

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Mrs. Claws: Greta! How are you doing?

Greta: We’re ready to show Santa the big surprise.

Santa: What big surprise?

Mrs. Claws: You’ll see. Come with us.

The three of them walked toward the toy shop. Santa was surprised to see all the lights on. The local elves had finished their work at the beginning of the month and were all on vacation until after Christmas.

Image result for cat toys under christmas tree"

Greta opened the door, and Santa saw the elves working feverishly, building the extra toys he needed.

Santa: Greta, how did you do this? I thought everyone had left town.

Greta: No one wanted to miss Christmas Eve, even if we weren’t working. When Mrs. Claws told us about the kittens who were going to miss their visit from Santa Claws, we got to work. You should have everything you need before you go.

Santa: Greta, I can’t believe you would do that. Particularly after the way Mortimer treated you.

Image result for kittens with toys"

Greta: It doesn’t have anything to do with him. It’s about the kittens.

Santa: That’s true. It is about the kittens. I don’t know how to thank you. Please tell the elves that they’ll be getting double their regular Christmas bonus regardless of whether or not they get everything finished.

Santa and Mrs. Claws left the elves to their work. Santa was beside himself with excitement. Maybe it was going to be all right after all.

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The next day, Santa got dressed and ready for the trip. He went to the toy shop to see how everything had worked out. He was amazed to see everything he needed for the area around Guam.

Greta: What do you think, Santa? They’re all here; no kitten with be without a gift. I’m really proud of the team.

Santa: Greta, the team is truly incredible. Excellent as always. I couldn’t have done this Christmas without all of you.

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Santa Claws made his trip around the world. The new regional delivery system wasn’t too bad, but he didn’t like not having control of the quality. Some things just weren’t up to his and Greta’s standards.

When Santa returned to the North Pole, he fired Mortimer and gave Greta her old job back. He didn’t want to fire all of the regional elves, so Greta worked out a system where they would do early production. Everything would be sent to the North Pole for completion and quality control.

 Image result for happy kittens"

All pictures courtesy of Google Images.