cafeteria | Adventures in Cheeseland

Where we are: Thomas Tabby was working very hard as the Liaison to the Humans, putting in a lot of overtime. Tina, his wife, was not happy. She had agreed to let him run for office, assuming it would be less stressful than being a Vice President at Cheeseland Savings and Loan.

The mayor, Pauly Porcine, has greatly expanded Thomas’ role since discovering how well he handles negotiations. Tina has book a beach vacation and expects Thomas to be there. Thomas is talking to his buddy, Sgt Stripes.

Thomas: Stripes, I don’t know what to do. Either Pauly is going to be mad or Tina’s going to be mad.

Sgt Stripes: Well, you’re only married to one of them. And Pauly didn’t hire you. You were elected.

Thomas: True enough. But I need to be able to work here for at least the next two and a half years. I really like this job.

Sgt Stripes: That is also true. And Pauly can be pretty brutal when he wants to be. He’s already gone through three assistants since the beginning of his term a year and a half ago.

Thomas: I heard that the cafeteria delivers his meals to his office. I wonder if they’re mad at him too.

Sgt Stripes: One of the lunch ladies, Evelyn, told me that he took a particular liking to the corn stew they serve every Wednesday. He was always the first one to the cafeteria.

Thomas: That’s not so strange. He just wanted to make sure they didn’t run out.

Sgt Stripes: If he’d taken a a serving or two, it would have been fine. He wanted the entire serving tray.

Thomas: Oh. That probably upset a few animals. I never paid any attention. I don’t like corn.

Sgt Stripes: I don’t think he’s a bad guy. I just think he wasn’t taught sharing or listening.

Thomas: That’s too bad. He’s really good at the business side of being mayor, but he really needs to work on the social side.

Sgt Stripes: Still no luck on the vacation?

Thomas: Tina and the girls are leaving tomorrow afternoon.

Sgt Stripes: How’s the self-driving car?

Thomas: I don’t think Tina was meant to drive one of those. There are specific things you need to say to get it to do what you want. It talks a lot. It told Tina that it was going too fast for the road. She ignored it because she was running late and they ended up in the ditch.

Sgt Stripes: That was unfortunate. Was everyone okay?

Thomas: Yes, thank goodness. It doesn’t appear to enjoy being screamed at either. She gave it instructions to make a left turn at the intersection. When it started to turn, she started yelling, “Stop. Turn right. Turn right! Since it couldn’t legally turn right from where it was, it just stopped. The other drivers were not pleased.”

Sgt Stripes: Is it too late to take the train?

Thomas: She really wants the car. She wants me to drive it.

Sgt Stripes: Does it listen to you?

Thomas: I haven’t had any problems with it. I don’t know what I’m going to do.

Pauly walks in the door.

Pauly: Greetings, boys. Anything important going on?

Sgt Stripes: We were just discussing Thomas’ vacation.

Pauly (puzzled): You mean the one his wife is taking to the beach.

Thomas: She still wants me to go. She’s having trouble with the car.

Pauly: She’ll be fine. I need you here when I meet with the Garden Club next week. They’re fighting with Parks & Rec over who gets to use the lot at Carlisle and Vine. Those ladies can be very stubborn. And they love Thomas. Have a good night.

Thomas: That didn’t go well. I guess I better tell my family that I can’t go.

When Thomas arrived home, the kittens ran out to meet him.

Thomas: How are my girls? Did you have a good day?

Emily: Yes, it was really exciting. We helped Mama pack for the trip.

Eva: And we packed for you too, Daddy. Mama said that you probably wouldn’t have time.

Thomas: Did Mama say I was going to drive?

Emily: Yes, she did. She says the car doesn’t like her. Today we almost ran into a cart at the grocery store.

Thomas: Would you be upset if I wasn’t able to come on the trip.

Eva: You have to come, Daddy. It’s a family vacation, and you’re part of the family.

Thomas had an idea. He told Tina that he needed to go to the office for an hour or two before they left. Then he called Sgt Stripes to make sure he would be in early.

Sgt Stripes: Hi, Boss. What’s up?

Thomas: I was thinking. You look a lot like me, right?

Sgt Stripes: Except for my extremely attractive white chest and paws.

Thomas: But from the back we look almost identical, right?

Sgt Stripes: I guess. Why?

Thomas: If you sat in here and worked with your back to the door, no one would think it wasn’t me. The first time we stop, I will call Pauly and tell him that I briefed you on next week’s meeting and you can handle it in my place. What do you think?

Sgt Stripes: It might work.

Thomas: I really need to go on that vacation. Pauly will be fine without me. You can call me if there are any problems. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.

Thomas explained who would be at the meeting and where the problems might be. Sgt Stripes listened. He sat at the desk facing the window after Thomas left. Within an hour, the Tabbies were on the road.