19

Chloe Cat’s Christmas Guest – Part 2

80 Cats Who Use Dogs As Pillows | Bored Panda

Where we are: Chloe is home from college on Christmas break. She has brought her friend Sasha with her. Her family knew Sasha was coming, but Chloe had neglected to tell them that he was a large dog. Christmas Eve dinner has become rather tense. You can read Part 1 here.

Mama Cat has brought Grandma some cream to help her get over her fainting spell. Grandma seems rather confused.

Giant Tibetan Mastiff 'As Big As a Bear' Goes Viral Trying to Get Into Car

Grandma: I must be going crazy. I thought I saw a huge dog in your living room.

Mama: No, you’re not crazy. Chloe brought home a dog.

Grandma: Why would she do that? We’re cats. Some of us are afraid of dogs.

Gretchen: Especially some of us smaller kitties. He might eat us.

Mama: I’m sure Chloe’s friend won’t eat us. Although I really wish she had mentioned it before he showed up at the door.

Angry Cat: 14 Signs Your Cat Is Mad at You — Fighting Cats

They heard a loud voice in the front room.

Uncle Charley: See here, dog. You can’t come in here and scare the living daylights out of decent cats.

Raphael: Don’t get too excited Uncle Charley, you don’t want to have a heart attack or something.

Uncle Charley: I’m not going to have a heart attack. I just want this dog to know that I’ve been around, and I can take care of myself. He needs to behave himself.

Sasha: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare anyone.

Chloe: Why is everyone so excited? Sasha’s a dog. So what? We’re all civilized cats.

Regina: Maybe it’s because you said you were bringing home a boy. We all expected a handsome mancat. Instead you bring home a huge doggo. Extremely disappointing.

Sophie: We thought you finally had a social life.

Chloe: I do have a social life. Sasha is my friend. I asked if I could bring home a friend for Christmas.

Gretchen: You’re not actually dating a dog are you?

Are Dogs Smarter than Cats? | Britannica

Chloe: What if I am?

Aunt Mildred: Dear, I know you’re not the most attractive kitty in the bunch, but even so…

Mama: Mildred! Sasha is our guest. And who Chloe dates really isn’t any of your business.

Papa Cat’s nose had been twitching. 

Can Dogs Eat Fish? - Ollie Blog

Papa: Sasha! I couldn’t help noticing. Did you bring something to add to the Christmas feast?

Sasha: Indeed I did. I asked Chloe what cats ate for Christmas. She said that you were having chicken, but that fish is always welcome. So I went to the market and got a bunch of smoked mackerel. I hope you will accept it with my appreciation for being welcomed.

Papa: Well, I’m not sure that you’re feeling very welcome, but your fish smells delicious.

Sasha: I didn’t realize I would be so much larger than everyone else. It never crossed my mind that I could be scary. I’m just a big goofball in my own family.

Papa: A lot of these cats have never met a dog up close before. I think they were mainly surprised.

Your Cat Might Not Be Ignoring You When You Speak - The New York Times

Sasha looked around and saw that the cats were watching him. They weren’t looking as startled as they had been which he took as a good sign. Grandma and Uncle Charley were talking in the corner. Finally, Grandma came over.

Grandma: Hello, Sasha.

Sasha: Hello, ma’am. I’m very sorry I frightened you. I hope you are feeling better.

Grandma: I am, thank you. So you’re a friend of Chloe’s?

Sasha: Yes, I am. She’s a very sweet girl.

Grandma: You’re right. Are you her boyfriend?

How to Get Your Cats to Be Best Friends

Sasha (embarrassed): No, ma’am, we’re regular friends.

Grandma: Do you want to be her boyfriend?

Chloe: Grandma! You’re embarrassing me! Sasha is a friend from school.

Grandma: I just want to make sure he’s not going to break your heart. You really can’t trust anyone who’s not a cat. And you can’t trust all cats.

Sasha: Don’t worry. I’m not going to hurt Chloe. I like her too much for that.

Chloe rubbed up against him and purred.

What are the signs of feline friendship? – PoC

Grandma: I don’t know. That looks like more than friends.

Chloe: Don’t worry, Grandma. I’ll be fine.

Mama Cat had been putting the finishing touches on dinner. She added Sasha’s fish to her own food. It all smelled delicious.

Mama: Everyone, it’s time to eat.

They sat down and began to eat. Uncle Charley kept drinking the catnip punch, and became more and more vocal. He was looking directly at Sasha while he was telling a story about fighting another cat for one of the many loves of his life. 

Two Cats 'Fighting Respectfully' Have Internet in Hysterics

Uncle Charley: Sasha, have you ever fought for love?

Sasha: Can’t say that I have.

Uncle Charley: Would you be willing to fight for Chloe?

Sasha: I think that Chloe can defend herself. Cats are excellent fighters.

Uncle Charley: I meant fight for her love.

Chloe: Uncle Charley, we’re not in love.

Uncle Charley: Then why is he here?

Chloe and Sasha looked at each other. Finally, he nodded.

DOE expands therapy dogs program in city schools

Chloe: Sasha is a friend of mine from Chemistry. He told me about a class he’s taking in Cat Psychology. He said that he was having trouble understanding how cats think. I asked him if he wanted to spend some time with my family and see how we get along.

Sasha: I thought it was a great idea, but that it would only work if you didn’t know I was doing research. That way you would all behave normally. So we decided that I would just come as her friend.

Chloe: I didn’t realize that everyone would think I was bringing home a boyfriend.

Sasha: I’m sorry I upset everyone. I’ll leave after dinner.

Clowder is the appropriate term for a group of cats. | Crazy cat lady meme, Crazy cats, Cats

The cats looked at each other. There were a few minutes of silence.

Mama: That makes a lot more sense than any other explanation. I don’t know if you will get the information you need, but you are welcome to stay.

Papa: Absolutely! I can teach you how cats hunt.

Uncle Charley: And I’ll teach you how we fight.

And that is how a very large dog got the best grade in his Cat Psychology class.

Cat Christmas Dinner | Finding the Perfect Recipe | Bella & Duke

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

22

Chloe Cat’s Christmas Guest

300+ Free Christmas Cat & Christmas Images - Pixabay

Mama Cat had been working hard for days getting everything ready for Christmas. She was having a big family dinner on Christmas Eve. It was the first time the whole family had been together in several years. The best part was that her daughter Chloe was coming home from college for the first time since the beginning of the school year. And she was bringing a friend. A male friend!

Mama Cat: I’m so excited to see Chloe! It’s been months since she’s been home.

Papa Cat: I’ve really missed her. She’s my little buddy. I hope we get a chance to go hunting while she’s home.

Mama Cat: I wouldn’t count on it. She’s bringing a boy home. She’ll probably want to spend all her time with him.

Cats R Cool 4 Back to School - oregonlive.com

Regina: Don’t you think it’s a little weird that she never talks about him? We don’t really know anything except that she met him in her Chemistry class.

Sophie: Yeah. So we know that he’s probably a nerd like she is.

Mama Cat: Be nice, girls. She’s never brought anyone home before. It must be serious.

Papa Cat: How serious can it be? She’s only been gone four months.

Mama: We need to be nice to him. He’s going to be staying here for a few days.

17 Pets Who Can't Believe You Aren't Taking Them On Your Trip - The Dodo

Meanwhile, Chloe was preparing to go home.

Chloe: Sasha, are you ready to leave yet?

Sasha: Not quite finished packing. Are you sure I’ll be welcome?

Chloe: Absolutely. My family is great! Mama says they’re really excited about meeting you.

Sasha: What have you told them?

Chloe: Just that I met you in Chemistry, and that we’ve become good friends. And that I wanted to bring you home for the holidays so you wouldn’t be alone.

Sasha: Do they think I’m your boyfriend?

Chloe: It never really came up.

Cat Signals for Expressing Happiness and Mood

Sasha rubbed his head against Chloe and she purred.

Chloe: Okay. We’ll leave mid-morning. Remember, we have to be there by 2 pm. Mama doesn’t want anyone to be late for dinner. And I haven’t seen them in months so I don’t want to miss anything.

Sasha: Don’t worry. I’ll be ready bright and early.

Christmas Eve was a beautiful day. Sunny and cold. The family started gathering around noon. Grandma and Grandpa were the first to arrive. As usual, Grandma had brought her favorite catnip cookies.

US embassy apologises after mistakenly sending Cookie Monster cat invitation | Canberra | The Guardian

Sophie: Yummy! One of the best parts of Christmas.

Grandma: Is Chloe here? I can’t wait to see her. I hear she finally has a beau.

Mama: Mother! Don’t embarrass her. She’s calling him a friend. We have to be nice.

Grandma: I’m going to be nice. It’s just good to see she finally has a social life.

Mama: Mother —

I prefer the unneutered male cat appearance – PoC

Uncle Charley was next. He was a little eccentric. Rather conservative and prone to speaking his mind.

Papa: Charley! Good to see you. How are things?

Uncle Charley: Not bad. Glad to see the elections are finally over. Didn’t see too many dogs or other lowlifes voted into office this time. Maybe we’re finally back on track to getting things back under control.

Regina: Uncle Charley, would you like some milk or some water?

Uncle Charley: Do you have anything stronger?

Mama: I was going to make some punch if anyone wanted it.

Uncle Charley: The good stuff with catnip AND silver vine?

Mama: That’s the one. I’ll go get started.

Group shot of a pack of kitties ❤ #grouppicture #kittens #cats #adorablecats | Cute cats, Cats, Cute cat memes

While Mama was in the kitchen, most of the rest of the family arrived. There were about 20 cats in the extended family, and everyone had come. Except Chloe.

Mama: I wonder where Chloe is. I told her not to be late.

Just then, the doorbell rang. 

Mama: How odd. Who would that be?

Sophie: I see Chloe’s suitcase out front. Maybe she has a surprise.

25 Giant Dog Breeds — Huge Dogs | Reader's Digest

Mama opened the door and saw Chloe’s surprise guest. She could barely speak.

Mama: Welcome to our home; you must be Sasha.

Sasha: Indeed, I am. Thank you for having me.

The others heard voices but couldn’t recognize the accented words. Sophie ran up.

Sophie: Oh my cats! You’re a dog!!

Sasha: Why, yes I am.

Dogs That Are Good With Cats: Breeds That Tend to Do Well With Felines

Sasha was the largest dog she had ever seen. And he was standing in the doorway to her house. Her father stepped up.

Papa: Sasha, please come in.

Sasha stepped into the room and looked around the room full of cats. He wasn’t sure whether to be amused or frightened. Chloe was still paying the driver and getting their things organized. Finally she came up.

Chloe: Hello everyone. I see you’ve met Sasha.

Her grandmother had been in another room. She came out when she heard Chloe’s voice, took one look at Sasha and fainted. Uncle Charley arched his back and began to hiss. Sasha looked like he wanted to head for the door. He wasn’t sure what to do with the box of smoked fish he was holding.

Next week: Will the family have a Merry Christmas? You can read the conclusion here

Christmas Cat Pictures | Download Free Images on Unsplash

 

16

Job Seeker Profiles on Cats4Hire

How to Cat Nap at Work - Amazing!!

In honor of US Labor Day, we thought that we would profile some of the cats currently looking for work on Cats4Hire. Wikipedia defines a working cats as a “type of domestic cat that “works” for its upkeep by hunting vermin.” However, cats can do so much more than that.

16 Cats and money ideas | cats, animals, money cat

Name: Rex

Desired Position: Cashier

Skills: Money handling; Ability to tell counterfeit bills from real ones

Why Me?: Proven track record of destroying bad money.

World's First Cat Lifeguard - YouTube

Name: Duke

Desired Position: Lifeguard

Skills: Swimming, Can identify a “beach fashion faux pas” at 20 paces

Why Me?: I don’t require a separate break room/bathroom.

5 Reasons Cats Love Bathrooms | Catster

Name: Giselle

 Desired Position: Bathroom Sentry

Skills: Ability to adapt to working conditions; Ability to not gag or laugh at humans in compromising positions

Why Me?: I fit nicely into any decor.

Cat and Rat's Adorable Friendship Shatters Stereotypes - ABC News

Name: Portia

Desired Position: Baby-sitter

Skills: Patience; Willingness to work with all types of children

Why Me?: Proven track record of not eating my clients.

We just got a new kitten, needless to say she's taken a liking to our dog.:  aww

Name: Max

Desired Position: Dog Wrangler

Skills: Fearless; Intimidating

Why Me?: I work through cooperation, not intimidation.

6-Awesome-Cat-Exercise-Wheels-that-will-blow-your-mind

Name: Boomer

Desired Position: Trainer

Skills: Excellent muscle control; Loud voice

Why Me?: I can intimidate with one look.

Cat Nap Marathon

Name: Cuddles

Desired Position: Pillow Tester

Skills: Flexible; Ability to sleep anywhere

Why Me?: Doesn’t your company want the “aww” factor?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

24

Senior Year Memories

16 Cats-Graduation Day... ideas | cats, cats and kittens, funny cats

Paisley was looking through her yearbook at what some of her classmates had been signing. Senior year had been so exciting. She was kind of sad it was almost over. The memories started flooding back.

Siberian Tiger - Facts and Beyond | Biology Dictionary

Hey Babe – Sorry about threatening to eat your date for prom. Glad we could work things out. We really belong together. Love 4ever Tommy

Keep Calm and Love Science: Laboratory Cat | Biyoloji

You were the best chemistry partner ever!!! Wonder if they’ll ever get that stain off the table. Gwen

Funny Quotes About Cats And Dogs Fighting. QuotesGram

Wishing you a lifetime of happiness. No hard feelings about that huge fight we had in the lunchroom over who has the best personality. Peace out, Kaylie

Cat Singing - Funny Cat Pictures | Cute animals, Funny cat pictures, Cats

Seems like we’ve been friends forever. Wish I didn’t have to leave town immediately following graduation. My boyfriend is sure we’ll make a lot of money on the road. Love, Jasmine

Cat Riding on top of his best friend : AnimalsBeingBros

Good luck in college. Sure you’ll be top cat wherever you go. Even in the dog-eat-dog “real world”. Ashley

Cute Raccoon (@bulka_s_makam) | Twitter

Sorry we didn’t get a chance to know each other a little better. Apologies once again for almost setting you on fire during the Senior trip. Hamilton

Cat With Makeup : aww

Your sleepovers were legendary. Your brother was so cute with makeup!! Jen

TheMetaPicture.com | Funny animal pictures, Funny animals, Funny cats

Going to prom with you was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Thank goodness. Eddie

What Is The Name For A Group Of Cats? - Tuxedo Cat

The halls of Madison High will be a little quieter without you. Wishing you the best. Mr. Taylor, English Dept.

Photos Of Cat's Being Hilariously Overly Dramatic With Their Owners

Best of luck to my favorite drama queen. Mrs. Parks, Theater and Arts Dept.

16 Cats-Graduation Day... ideas | cats, cats and kittens, funny cats

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

16

The RHCCC: The Crabapple Cove Coastal Cafe

The 5 Best CAT CAFES in Tokyo | favy

The ladies are meeting for a quick lunch at the Crabapple Cove Coastal Cafe. It’s not their usual spot, but they want to support Giselle, Miki’s daughter, who recently started working there.

Daphne: This is a nice place. I’ve never been here before.

Miki: Really? You’ve worked on the beach for years.

Daphne: I don’t usually have the time.

Bella: It’s a little out of the way.

File:Cats on Beach.JPG - Wikimedia Commons

Fluffy: Besides, it’s kind of a tourist spot in the summer. It gets really crowded.

Miki: That’s true. Giselle said that’s why they wanted her to start now. So she could be trained for the warm weather.

Giselle comes up and smiles at them.

Giselle: Good afternoon, ladies. Welcome to the Coastal Cafe. My name is Giselle. May I take your order?

Daphne: Hi, Giselle. How’s it going?

Giselle: So far, so good. I’m still learning a lot.

Can Cats Eat Tuna? Is Tuna Safe For Cats? - CatTime

Fluffy: I’m sure you’ll be great. I’ll have the tuna salad and some spring water.

The other agreed that the tuna sounded good and ordered the same thing. As Giselle finished writing down the order, a small dog two tables down started barking insistently.

Dog: Waitress, come here! We’re ready to order!

Giselle: Just a moment, please. I’m almost finished.

brown and white long coated small dog on white round table photo – Free  Canine Image on Unsplash

Dog: We’re in a hurry!

Giselle walks over to the table. There is a mother dog and her two sons waiting with her. The boys order burgers, and she waits for the woman’s order.

Dog: Is the kibble fresh?

Giselle: Yes, ma’am. They make it every morning.

Dog: Does it have any seafood in it? I’m allergic to shellfish. I could die if you try to feed me fish.

Does Your Dog's Breath Smell Like Fish? - PetPlace

Giselle: We have two types, Sea Treasure and High Plains Bounty. You could eat the High Plains Bounty.

Dog: You’re sure there isn’t any fish in it.

Giselle: No ma’am. It’s made out of beef and lamb. Only the finest ingredients.

Dog: OK. I’ll try it. But make sure there’s no seafood in it.

Giselle (writing on her pad): Would you like full-size or petite?

Dog: What’s the difference?

Giselle: The petite has smaller chunks. It’s specially made for our more delicate diners.

I Has A Hotdog - impatient - Page 2 - Funny Dog Pictures | Dog Memes | Puppy  Pictures | Pictures of dogs - Dog Pictures - Funny pictures of dogs - Dog  Memes - Puppy pictures - doge - Cheezburger

Dog: Well, I’m pretty delicate. I’ll have the petite. And make it quick. We’re in a hurry.

Giselle places the dog’s order at the same time she puts in the order for her mother’s table. Because the burgers have to be cooked the tuna is ready before the dogs’ food. Giselle takes it over and starts to serve.

Dog: Girl! I told you we’re in a hurry! Why are you serving them first? It’s because they’re cats, isn’t it? You cats are all alike!

Daphne: We ordered first! We should get our food first. She didn’t do anything wrong.

Dog: It’s obvious favoritism.

State Cat - Maine Coon Cat | Maine Secretary of State Kids' Page

Miki starts to hiss. Giselle puts down their food quickly and goes to the kitchen. She returns with the burgers and kibble. The boys look at their burgers and start to scarf them down. The mother dog sniffs and does not look pleased.

Dog: You gave me cat kibble, and it has fish!

Giselle: We don’t have cat kibble. We only have Sea Treasure and High Plains Bounty. They can be eaten by any animal.

Dog: This smells like fish! You brought the wrong thing. It should have gone to the cat table!

Giselle: Let me take it back, and get you another bowl.

Distemper Cases Rise Among California's Foxes, Raccoons, Skunks – CDFW News

Giselle quickly gets a replacement bowl of kibble and places it in front of the dog.

Dog (sniffing): What is wrong with you? Are you trying to kill me?? This smells like fish! Get me the manager!

Giselle bursts into tears and runs away to find the manager. Her mother and her friends get up and start to go over. A raccoon sitting between them reaches the dog first.

Raccoon: Try to calm down ma’am. She’s gone to find someone to help you.

Dog: She’s an idiot! Smell this food! It’s obviously full of fish.

The raccoon sniffs the food. Then he takes a bite. He chews thoughtfully. Then he takes another bite.

Raccoon: That’s delicious! I don’t taste any fish.

Dog: Hmmph! What do you know?

30 Adorable Husky Pictures | Reader's Digest

The manager approaches the table with Giselle. He’s a young Siberian Husky with a deep voice.

Manager: What seems to be the problem?

Dog: This CAT is trying to feed me cat food that’s made from fish. And I’m allergic to fish.

Manager: Ma’am, we don’t sell cat kibble; we sell all-species kibble. It appears that she did serve you petite-style. Did you want it replaced with regular?

Dog: I want it replaced with something that doesn’t contain fish! She knows I’m allergic and she’s trying to poison me.

The manager took a pawful of the kibble and sniffed it thoroughly before he ate it. He looked at Giselle.

Why is my Siberian Husky not eating? – petsKB

Manager: I can’t taste any fish in this kibble. It’s definitely High Plains Bounty. Perhaps it’s the smell of the ocean so close that is confusing you.

Dog: I’m not confused! There’s fish in that kibble! This is outrageous!

Manager: I’d be happy to replace it with anything on the menu.  But this is the only non-seafood kibble we have.

The puppies are trying to pretend that nothing is happening as they finish their meals. The rest of the diners are watching the mother. She looks outraged. Finally, she stands up.

Dog: Boys, get up. We’re leaving. And we are never coming back here.

She storms out of the cafe without paying. The other diners applaud as she leaves. Miki gives her a final hiss.

Clap Your Hands - Daily Squee - Cute Animals - Cute Baby Animals - Cute  Animal Pictures - Animal Gifs - GIF Animals

13

Scrolling Through Animal Twitter

Cat with a cell phone. The cat with a cell phone is on a beach , #Sponsored, #cell, #Cat, #phone, #beach, #cat #ad | Cats, Cat artwork, Funny animals

Before we get started, we would like to thank Oliver at Feline Opines for featuring us on this week’s chat.

Note: We don’t have Twitter. All references are figments of our imaginations and, hopefully, bear no resemblance to reality.

Black Bear

Marley Bear @bearcubmom

Cubs are adorable. And maybe one day, I’ll get all of the berry juice out of my fur. Or maybe I should just try to love purple fur.

Crushed nuts: Photographer captures a family of squirrels in a tree

Sophie Squirrel @squirreljinx

Looking for a roommate. Affordable rates. Must be willing to share tree with extended family and very noisy magpies. Would prefer sound sleeper. Please no raccoons or other creatures of the night.

My mom's 'no cats on the table' rule doesn't get enforced when you're this cute : cats

CatsCatsCats @CatsCatsCats

Read our review of “Cat Table Manners.” It’s another hilarious human book about ways to “train” us. They seem to think that we belong on the floor when the food is on the table.

pictures of unicorns - Google Search | Unicorn pictures, Real unicorn, Magical creatures

UnicornsRReal @unicornsunited

Unity rally taking place 1 pm this Friday at Memorial Park near the gazebo. We will march to City Hall and present our petition for formal recognition as a species. Bring your friends and family. No doubters/haters please.

Cute hedgehogs eating mushrooms | Cute animals, Animals, Animals beautiful

Hal Hedgehog @hoggyhal

Don’t forget Snail Fest this weekend. Fun for the whole family. Games and food for all. Be sure to stop by and try my homemade snail marinade. I’ve been working on it for weeks. My wife says it goes or I do.

Timeline Photos - Amazing World of Animals & Nature | Boxer puppies, Boxer dogs, Boxer puppy

Frankie @therealdealdog

City Council is working to tighten the leash laws again. No pun intended. All you dogs running around loose: get yourselves together. I don’t want to lose my park privileges because you can’t control yourselves.

Persian Cat Names - Over 200 Gorgeous Ideas!

Penelope Persian @genuineamericanbeauty

I can’t believe the humans are thinking about getting another cat! They barely have time to meet my needs. My breakfast was 10 minutes late this morning. And they completely forgot treats yesterday! How are they ever take care of two of us?

cell phone animals - St Mary Anne's Church

All pictures courtesy of Google Images

 

 

22

You want to Bring Home a Dog??!!

8ac1ee0552a9da53b3e842c4c2002b53.jpg

Don’t worry. We are remaining an all-feline household. Mom says that she is much too lazy to have a dog. And our human siblings are completely Team Cat as well. But Mom and our human brother were talking recently about how our human dad had wanted a dog several years ago.

Over 65 Unforgettable Dog Memes Hilarious Pictures Unleashed! | Funny  animal jokes, Funny dog memes, Funny animal memes

We had no idea there were so many kinds of dogs. Some definitely sound like better housemates than others. Lower energy and easygoing personalities sound the best to us. Mom would have insisted on a shelter dog, so we probably would have ended up with a goofy fur sib.

Why Does My Dog or Cat Have Bad Breath? - Bothell Pet Hospital

It got our furry brains wondering what life would have been like with a doggy sibling. First thing, it would have probably not have smelled as good. Dogs just smell – different. They probably smell fine to other dogs. But we’re cats – with cat standards. It’s hard enough dealing with some of the funky human smells.

dog shaming food Archives | 3 Million Dogs

And dogs eat – different. From what we’ve been able to read, some are not really very selective about what they eat, particularly about whether what they put in their mouths belongs to them. Or is even food.

21 Dogs Who Clearly Have No Idea How HUGE They Are

We probably would have had to fight for cuddle time too. It’s bad enough with just us cats, but imagine what it would have been like with something that considers itself “man’s best friend.” And it would have been bigger than us too. Humans are so hard to retrain; it would have been a nightmare.

funny-dog-cat-big-bed-jerk - Holidog Times EN

It probably would have taken even longer to train the dog. Even though dogs are obviously intended to be minion material, it would have been a lot of work.

14 Times Cats Tried To Blame Everything On The Dog (Memes) - I Can Has  Cheezburger?

On the other paw, it might have been nice to have someone to blame for stuff getting knocked over or broken. And it probably would have been tall enough to get stuff down for us. And maybe we could have ridden it…

17 Dogs That Are Completely Terrified of Totally Normal Things | Rolig  katt, Gulliga katter, Galna katter

Note: If any of you hear your humans talking about a canine baby, these breeds were mentioned in more than one place as good personality matches with cats: Basset Hound, Beagle, Bichon Frise, Bulldog, Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Collie, Golden Retriever, Labrador Retriever, Maltese, Papillon, Poodle, Pug, Shetland Sheepdog

Intensive online training courses in proofreading | Funny animal pictures,  Animals doing funny things, Cute cats

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

22

Snoops and Kommando: The Liebster Award

Triumphant Cat | Cat stands, Funny animals, Cats

Snoops and Kommando here. When our pal Suki nominated us for the Liebster Award, Mom said she was too busy to do it. But we pulled out all the stops on our adorableness and finally she said that she would help us. So thanks for nominating us Suki!

The way it’s supposed to work is that we thank Suki, answer his questions, nominate 11 new bloggers, and send them new questions. However, Mom said that she didn’t have time to do that (sigh). She did agree that we could give a meow-out to some of our buddies at the end, so we settled for the compromise. If anyone would like to answer our questions, you can consider yourself Liebster-ized. If you’d like to answer a few in the Comments, that would be pawsome too.

Dear owner, I hope this letter finds you well. I'm writing to let you know  I am out of milk. Please refill di… | Funny animals, Funny cat pictures,  Funny cat videos

Here are the questions:

If cats could speak to humans, what do you think they would say?

The first thing would be to tell her to stop buying those boxes of wet cat food. Some of our favorites are in there, but so is a lot of really disgusting stuff. The other thing we would do is to make her feel guilty for leaving us alone so much since she got a second job. Oh, and the most important part: she needs to stop bossing us around.

Have you ever done catnip, and what was it like for you?

Catnip totally rocks. Complete bliss. Unimaginable energy.

A cat with a rather large fish in his mouth : photoshopbattles

Tuna or Salmon?

We get a lot more tuna. They share their salmon with us, but we’d like our own can once in a while.

Who’s your favorite celebrity feline?

We don’t spend much time on the Internet, so we don’t really know any famous cats. We are very fond of Simon’s Cat. His attitude is an inspiration to all cats.

I Has A Hotdog - nose - Page 6 - Funny Dog Pictures | Dog Memes | Puppy  Pictures | Pictures of dogs - Dog Pictures - Funny pictures of dogs - Dog  Memes - Puppy pictures - doge - Cheezburger

Dogs in purses: yea or nay?

Why on earth would we want them anywhere near to us. They should stay at home, where they belong

What was the last thing that made you laugh?

Mom put down a couple of bags of groceries and knocked over a glass of water. She always yells at us if we do it, so it was funny when she did it and didn’t have anyone to yell at.

It's Official, Cats Are Extremely Talented At Sitting… | Purrtacular

Do you have a sibling and did they ever sit on you?

When we wrestle, one of us usually ends up on the bottom. Snoops is bigger, so it’s not really fair. (Kommando’s comment)

Do you wish you had fur instead of that weird skin?

(We think Suki’s human must have written this questions.) We’re sure all humans would rather be beautiful, fluffy creatures.

Lolcats - door - Page 2 - LOL at Funny Cat Memes - Funny cat pictures with  words on them - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny cat pictures

If  your pet had opposable thumbs, what’s the first thing they’d do in your house?

We’d take down the doors. Then we could go wherever we wanted to.

If you were a feline, what would your name be?

(Another question from the human) We might name ours Cuddles. Maybe she’d spend more time cuddling with us.

How to get my cat to stop eating human food - Quora

Have you ever eaten someone else’s food when they’re not looking?

Of course we steal each other’s food. But that’s no challenge. It’s more fun to try to steal human food. Sometimes their food is nasty, so be sure to take a good sniff before you grab and go.

Your Cat Has A Question For You | Paws Pet Care

Here are our questions:

How did you choose your human?

Have you ever sneaked outside?

What’s your favorite season?

Do you have any siblings of a different species (you may include humans)?

If you could only have one channel of Cat TV, what would it be?

What is your proudest moment?

Does your human have any habits that drive you crazy?

If you could only have one toy, what would it be?

Have you ever gotten even with someone after they got you in trouble/embarrassed you?

Have you been able to train your human to hunt?

Do you have a favorite hangout?

Sorry, Cat Haters, Science Isn't On Your Side | Popular Science

And finally, a long-distance snuzzle and purr to our friends (in no particular order. Mom forgot to alphabetize them.)

We have more, but Mom made us stop. Purrs and cuddles to you all.

cat | girlywithdacurl

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

26

How to Tell a Cat From a Dog

Places That Will Take Care Of Your Pet If Something Happens To You ...

We would lo point out some obvious differences between cats and dogs. Hopefully, you will find this entertaining, but not informative. If any of this information is new to you, we recommend you spend some time volunteering at an animal shelter. Better yet, adopt a shelter animal.

Cats are more flexible.

25 Hysterically Flexible Cats Who Broke All the Laws of Physics

Is your dog clumsy? Top 10 most accident-prone dogs

Dogs are friendlier.

Ten Cats With Their Terrible Friends Who Embarrass Them | Animals ...

I Has A Hotdog - friendly - Funny Dog Pictures | Dog Memes | Puppy ...

Cats are self-cleaning.

How to Clean Your Cat Without Bathing

Not a bathtub - Imgflip

They both want to lay in your lap, regardless of their size.

Woman Shared Beautiful Photos Of Her Maine Coon Cat - And It's ...

25 Big Dogs Who Think They're Lap Dogs [GALLERY] - DogTime

Cats do not require being walked in the rain.

a cat watching the rain through a window Wallpaper and Background ...

dog walking Archives

Cats train their humans; dogs allow humans to train them.

Carl ~ On Training Your Human | Life With Catnip

A Well Trained Dog Will Make No Attempt to Shareyour Lunch He Will ...

Cats are better at hide-and-seek.

Teach Your Skittish Cat to Be Less Fearful of Strangers

159 Dogs Who Suck At Hide-And-Seek | Bored Panda

Inspired by some new friends of the family:

(Duke, Georgia, Lily, and Tyler)

Pictures courtesy of Google Images (except the boxers).

23

Stupid Question: Are Cats Smart?

Smart Cat Blank Template - Imgflip

Well, of course we are.

Pin on Funny

Cats are Smarter than Dogs

Humans always talk about how smart dogs are. That’s because dogs are dumb enough to take the humans’ tests. We cats have better things to do with our time.

My brain just exploded - Lolcats - lol | cat memes | funny cats ...

Our brain structure and folding (that thing that make brains look lumpy) is 90% similar to the humans. We’re not really sure we agree that thinking like humans makes us smart, but they do. We have 300 million neurons (nerve cells) in the part of the brain that controls thinking and decision-making (the cerebral cortex). Dogs only have 160 million neurons. Cats rule.

This cat opening a door by himself is truly impressive - Entertainment

We Learn the Same Way Humans Do

Cats have what they call procedural learning. We watch and then we do it ourselves. That’s why we can open doors, ring bells, and turning on lights. Generally, we don’t turn lights out (that’s left to our human minions).

We also have what is called object permanence recognition. Just because we can’t see something doesn’t mean we don’t know it’s there. That’s why it’s a really bad idea for humans to hide our treats. We know they’re somewhere, and we will find them.

39 Photos For Anyone Who's Just Having A Bad Day | Funny animals ...

We totally rock at taking new information and applying it to what we already know. Then we can use what we have learned in new situations. We are extremely intelligent kitties.

Cat Protects His Couch - I Can Has Cheezburger?

We are Smarter than Your Human Baby

We can eat our food by ourselves within a few weeks of being born. Your baby needs to be fed for an extended period of time.

20 Of The Cutest Pictures Of Cats And Babies

There is no question that we are cleaner than your baby. Your baby doesn’t care what they look like or what they are covered in. We wouldn’t dream of going out without being fully groomed. And we bathe ourselves.

We are capable of catching our own food. When was the last time you saw a human baby catch a mouse for dinner?

A Cat's Guide to Training Your Human - YouTube

We Train our Humans, They Don’t Train Us

We do what we want to do, when we want to do it. We have our humans trained to feed us, cuddle us, and clean up after us. They play when we want to. A few purrs and cute looks, and they are wrapped around our paws.

So stand tall, fellow cats. We are the superior beings.

This is a picture of a cat., The cat is strutting its stuff.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

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