24

Senior Year Memories

16 Cats-Graduation Day... ideas | cats, cats and kittens, funny cats

Paisley was looking through her yearbook at what some of her classmates had been signing. Senior year had been so exciting. She was kind of sad it was almost over. The memories started flooding back.

Siberian Tiger - Facts and Beyond | Biology Dictionary

Hey Babe – Sorry about threatening to eat your date for prom. Glad we could work things out. We really belong together. Love 4ever Tommy

Keep Calm and Love Science: Laboratory Cat | Biyoloji

You were the best chemistry partner ever!!! Wonder if they’ll ever get that stain off the table. Gwen

Funny Quotes About Cats And Dogs Fighting. QuotesGram

Wishing you a lifetime of happiness. No hard feelings about that huge fight we had in the lunchroom over who has the best personality. Peace out, Kaylie

Cat Singing - Funny Cat Pictures | Cute animals, Funny cat pictures, Cats

Seems like we’ve been friends forever. Wish I didn’t have to leave town immediately following graduation. My boyfriend is sure we’ll make a lot of money on the road. Love, Jasmine

Cat Riding on top of his best friend : AnimalsBeingBros

Good luck in college. Sure you’ll be top cat wherever you go. Even in the dog-eat-dog “real world”. Ashley

Cute Raccoon (@bulka_s_makam) | Twitter

Sorry we didn’t get a chance to know each other a little better. Apologies once again for almost setting you on fire during the Senior trip. Hamilton

Cat With Makeup : aww

Your sleepovers were legendary. Your brother was so cute with makeup!! Jen

TheMetaPicture.com | Funny animal pictures, Funny animals, Funny cats

Going to prom with you was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Thank goodness. Eddie

What Is The Name For A Group Of Cats? - Tuxedo Cat

The halls of Madison High will be a little quieter without you. Wishing you the best. Mr. Taylor, English Dept.

Photos Of Cat's Being Hilariously Overly Dramatic With Their Owners

Best of luck to my favorite drama queen. Mrs. Parks, Theater and Arts Dept.

16 Cats-Graduation Day... ideas | cats, cats and kittens, funny cats

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

16

The RHCCC: The Crabapple Cove Coastal Cafe

The 5 Best CAT CAFES in Tokyo | favy

The ladies are meeting for a quick lunch at the Crabapple Cove Coastal Cafe. It’s not their usual spot, but they want to support Giselle, Miki’s daughter, who recently started working there.

Daphne: This is a nice place. I’ve never been here before.

Miki: Really? You’ve worked on the beach for years.

Daphne: I don’t usually have the time.

Bella: It’s a little out of the way.

File:Cats on Beach.JPG - Wikimedia Commons

Fluffy: Besides, it’s kind of a tourist spot in the summer. It gets really crowded.

Miki: That’s true. Giselle said that’s why they wanted her to start now. So she could be trained for the warm weather.

Giselle comes up and smiles at them.

Giselle: Good afternoon, ladies. Welcome to the Coastal Cafe. My name is Giselle. May I take your order?

Daphne: Hi, Giselle. How’s it going?

Giselle: So far, so good. I’m still learning a lot.

Can Cats Eat Tuna? Is Tuna Safe For Cats? - CatTime

Fluffy: I’m sure you’ll be great. I’ll have the tuna salad and some spring water.

The other agreed that the tuna sounded good and ordered the same thing. As Giselle finished writing down the order, a small dog two tables down started barking insistently.

Dog: Waitress, come here! We’re ready to order!

Giselle: Just a moment, please. I’m almost finished.

brown and white long coated small dog on white round table photo – Free  Canine Image on Unsplash

Dog: We’re in a hurry!

Giselle walks over to the table. There is a mother dog and her two sons waiting with her. The boys order burgers, and she waits for the woman’s order.

Dog: Is the kibble fresh?

Giselle: Yes, ma’am. They make it every morning.

Dog: Does it have any seafood in it? I’m allergic to shellfish. I could die if you try to feed me fish.

Does Your Dog's Breath Smell Like Fish? - PetPlace

Giselle: We have two types, Sea Treasure and High Plains Bounty. You could eat the High Plains Bounty.

Dog: You’re sure there isn’t any fish in it.

Giselle: No ma’am. It’s made out of beef and lamb. Only the finest ingredients.

Dog: OK. I’ll try it. But make sure there’s no seafood in it.

Giselle (writing on her pad): Would you like full-size or petite?

Dog: What’s the difference?

Giselle: The petite has smaller chunks. It’s specially made for our more delicate diners.

I Has A Hotdog - impatient - Page 2 - Funny Dog Pictures | Dog Memes | Puppy  Pictures | Pictures of dogs - Dog Pictures - Funny pictures of dogs - Dog  Memes - Puppy pictures - doge - Cheezburger

Dog: Well, I’m pretty delicate. I’ll have the petite. And make it quick. We’re in a hurry.

Giselle places the dog’s order at the same time she puts in the order for her mother’s table. Because the burgers have to be cooked the tuna is ready before the dogs’ food. Giselle takes it over and starts to serve.

Dog: Girl! I told you we’re in a hurry! Why are you serving them first? It’s because they’re cats, isn’t it? You cats are all alike!

Daphne: We ordered first! We should get our food first. She didn’t do anything wrong.

Dog: It’s obvious favoritism.

State Cat - Maine Coon Cat | Maine Secretary of State Kids' Page

Miki starts to hiss. Giselle puts down their food quickly and goes to the kitchen. She returns with the burgers and kibble. The boys look at their burgers and start to scarf them down. The mother dog sniffs and does not look pleased.

Dog: You gave me cat kibble, and it has fish!

Giselle: We don’t have cat kibble. We only have Sea Treasure and High Plains Bounty. They can be eaten by any animal.

Dog: This smells like fish! You brought the wrong thing. It should have gone to the cat table!

Giselle: Let me take it back, and get you another bowl.

Distemper Cases Rise Among California's Foxes, Raccoons, Skunks – CDFW News

Giselle quickly gets a replacement bowl of kibble and places it in front of the dog.

Dog (sniffing): What is wrong with you? Are you trying to kill me?? This smells like fish! Get me the manager!

Giselle bursts into tears and runs away to find the manager. Her mother and her friends get up and start to go over. A raccoon sitting between them reaches the dog first.

Raccoon: Try to calm down ma’am. She’s gone to find someone to help you.

Dog: She’s an idiot! Smell this food! It’s obviously full of fish.

The raccoon sniffs the food. Then he takes a bite. He chews thoughtfully. Then he takes another bite.

Raccoon: That’s delicious! I don’t taste any fish.

Dog: Hmmph! What do you know?

30 Adorable Husky Pictures | Reader's Digest

The manager approaches the table with Giselle. He’s a young Siberian Husky with a deep voice.

Manager: What seems to be the problem?

Dog: This CAT is trying to feed me cat food that’s made from fish. And I’m allergic to fish.

Manager: Ma’am, we don’t sell cat kibble; we sell all-species kibble. It appears that she did serve you petite-style. Did you want it replaced with regular?

Dog: I want it replaced with something that doesn’t contain fish! She knows I’m allergic and she’s trying to poison me.

The manager took a pawful of the kibble and sniffed it thoroughly before he ate it. He looked at Giselle.

Why is my Siberian Husky not eating? – petsKB

Manager: I can’t taste any fish in this kibble. It’s definitely High Plains Bounty. Perhaps it’s the smell of the ocean so close that is confusing you.

Dog: I’m not confused! There’s fish in that kibble! This is outrageous!

Manager: I’d be happy to replace it with anything on the menu.  But this is the only non-seafood kibble we have.

The puppies are trying to pretend that nothing is happening as they finish their meals. The rest of the diners are watching the mother. She looks outraged. Finally, she stands up.

Dog: Boys, get up. We’re leaving. And we are never coming back here.

She storms out of the cafe without paying. The other diners applaud as she leaves. Miki gives her a final hiss.

Clap Your Hands - Daily Squee - Cute Animals - Cute Baby Animals - Cute  Animal Pictures - Animal Gifs - GIF Animals

12

Scrolling Through Animal Twitter

Cat with a cell phone. The cat with a cell phone is on a beach , #Sponsored, #cell, #Cat, #phone, #beach, #cat #ad | Cats, Cat artwork, Funny animals

Before we get started, we would like to thank Oliver at Feline Opines for featuring us on this week’s chat.

Note: We don’t have Twitter. All references are figments of our imaginations and, hopefully, bear no resemblance to reality.

Black Bear

Marley Bear @bearcubmom

Cubs are adorable. And maybe one day, I’ll get all of the berry juice out of my fur. Or maybe I should just try to love purple fur.

Crushed nuts: Photographer captures a family of squirrels in a tree

Sophie Squirrel @squirreljinx

Looking for a roommate. Affordable rates. Must be willing to share tree with extended family and very noisy magpies. Would prefer sound sleeper. Please no raccoons or other creatures of the night.

My mom's 'no cats on the table' rule doesn't get enforced when you're this cute : cats

CatsCatsCats @CatsCatsCats

Read our review of “Cat Table Manners.” It’s another hilarious human book about ways to “train” us. They seem to think that we belong on the floor when the food is on the table.

pictures of unicorns - Google Search | Unicorn pictures, Real unicorn, Magical creatures

UnicornsRReal @unicornsunited

Unity rally taking place 1 pm this Friday at Memorial Park near the gazebo. We will march to City Hall and present our petition for formal recognition as a species. Bring your friends and family. No doubters/haters please.

Cute hedgehogs eating mushrooms | Cute animals, Animals, Animals beautiful

Hal Hedgehog @hoggyhal

Don’t forget Snail Fest this weekend. Fun for the whole family. Games and food for all. Be sure to stop by and try my homemade snail marinade. I’ve been working on it for weeks. My wife says it goes or I do.

Timeline Photos - Amazing World of Animals & Nature | Boxer puppies, Boxer dogs, Boxer puppy

Frankie @therealdealdog

City Council is working to tighten the leash laws again. No pun intended. All you dogs running around loose: get yourselves together. I don’t want to lose my park privileges because you can’t control yourselves.

Persian Cat Names - Over 200 Gorgeous Ideas!

Penelope Persian @genuineamericanbeauty

I can’t believe the humans are thinking about getting another cat! They barely have time to meet my needs. My breakfast was 10 minutes late this morning. And they completely forgot treats yesterday! How are they ever take care of two of us?

cell phone animals - St Mary Anne's Church

All pictures courtesy of Google Images

 

 

22

You want to Bring Home a Dog??!!

8ac1ee0552a9da53b3e842c4c2002b53.jpg

Don’t worry. We are remaining an all-feline household. Mom says that she is much too lazy to have a dog. And our human siblings are completely Team Cat as well. But Mom and our human brother were talking recently about how our human dad had wanted a dog several years ago.

Over 65 Unforgettable Dog Memes Hilarious Pictures Unleashed! | Funny  animal jokes, Funny dog memes, Funny animal memes

We had no idea there were so many kinds of dogs. Some definitely sound like better housemates than others. Lower energy and easygoing personalities sound the best to us. Mom would have insisted on a shelter dog, so we probably would have ended up with a goofy fur sib.

Why Does My Dog or Cat Have Bad Breath? - Bothell Pet Hospital

It got our furry brains wondering what life would have been like with a doggy sibling. First thing, it would have probably not have smelled as good. Dogs just smell – different. They probably smell fine to other dogs. But we’re cats – with cat standards. It’s hard enough dealing with some of the funky human smells.

dog shaming food Archives | 3 Million Dogs

And dogs eat – different. From what we’ve been able to read, some are not really very selective about what they eat, particularly about whether what they put in their mouths belongs to them. Or is even food.

21 Dogs Who Clearly Have No Idea How HUGE They Are

We probably would have had to fight for cuddle time too. It’s bad enough with just us cats, but imagine what it would have been like with something that considers itself “man’s best friend.” And it would have been bigger than us too. Humans are so hard to retrain; it would have been a nightmare.

funny-dog-cat-big-bed-jerk - Holidog Times EN

It probably would have taken even longer to train the dog. Even though dogs are obviously intended to be minion material, it would have been a lot of work.

14 Times Cats Tried To Blame Everything On The Dog (Memes) - I Can Has  Cheezburger?

On the other paw, it might have been nice to have someone to blame for stuff getting knocked over or broken. And it probably would have been tall enough to get stuff down for us. And maybe we could have ridden it…

17 Dogs That Are Completely Terrified of Totally Normal Things | Rolig  katt, Gulliga katter, Galna katter

Note: If any of you hear your humans talking about a canine baby, these breeds were mentioned in more than one place as good personality matches with cats: Basset Hound, Beagle, Bichon Frise, Bulldog, Cavalier King Charles Spaniel, Collie, Golden Retriever, Labrador Retriever, Maltese, Papillon, Poodle, Pug, Shetland Sheepdog

Intensive online training courses in proofreading | Funny animal pictures,  Animals doing funny things, Cute cats

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

22

Snoops and Kommando: The Liebster Award

Triumphant Cat | Cat stands, Funny animals, Cats

Snoops and Kommando here. When our pal Suki nominated us for the Liebster Award, Mom said she was too busy to do it. But we pulled out all the stops on our adorableness and finally she said that she would help us. So thanks for nominating us Suki!

The way it’s supposed to work is that we thank Suki, answer his questions, nominate 11 new bloggers, and send them new questions. However, Mom said that she didn’t have time to do that (sigh). She did agree that we could give a meow-out to some of our buddies at the end, so we settled for the compromise. If anyone would like to answer our questions, you can consider yourself Liebster-ized. If you’d like to answer a few in the Comments, that would be pawsome too.

Dear owner, I hope this letter finds you well. I'm writing to let you know  I am out of milk. Please refill di… | Funny animals, Funny cat pictures,  Funny cat videos

Here are the questions:

If cats could speak to humans, what do you think they would say?

The first thing would be to tell her to stop buying those boxes of wet cat food. Some of our favorites are in there, but so is a lot of really disgusting stuff. The other thing we would do is to make her feel guilty for leaving us alone so much since she got a second job. Oh, and the most important part: she needs to stop bossing us around.

Have you ever done catnip, and what was it like for you?

Catnip totally rocks. Complete bliss. Unimaginable energy.

A cat with a rather large fish in his mouth : photoshopbattles

Tuna or Salmon?

We get a lot more tuna. They share their salmon with us, but we’d like our own can once in a while.

Who’s your favorite celebrity feline?

We don’t spend much time on the Internet, so we don’t really know any famous cats. We are very fond of Simon’s Cat. His attitude is an inspiration to all cats.

I Has A Hotdog - nose - Page 6 - Funny Dog Pictures | Dog Memes | Puppy  Pictures | Pictures of dogs - Dog Pictures - Funny pictures of dogs - Dog  Memes - Puppy pictures - doge - Cheezburger

Dogs in purses: yea or nay?

Why on earth would we want them anywhere near to us. They should stay at home, where they belong

What was the last thing that made you laugh?

Mom put down a couple of bags of groceries and knocked over a glass of water. She always yells at us if we do it, so it was funny when she did it and didn’t have anyone to yell at.

It's Official, Cats Are Extremely Talented At Sitting… | Purrtacular

Do you have a sibling and did they ever sit on you?

When we wrestle, one of us usually ends up on the bottom. Snoops is bigger, so it’s not really fair. (Kommando’s comment)

Do you wish you had fur instead of that weird skin?

(We think Suki’s human must have written this questions.) We’re sure all humans would rather be beautiful, fluffy creatures.

Lolcats - door - Page 2 - LOL at Funny Cat Memes - Funny cat pictures with  words on them - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny cat pictures

If  your pet had opposable thumbs, what’s the first thing they’d do in your house?

We’d take down the doors. Then we could go wherever we wanted to.

If you were a feline, what would your name be?

(Another question from the human) We might name ours Cuddles. Maybe she’d spend more time cuddling with us.

How to get my cat to stop eating human food - Quora

Have you ever eaten someone else’s food when they’re not looking?

Of course we steal each other’s food. But that’s no challenge. It’s more fun to try to steal human food. Sometimes their food is nasty, so be sure to take a good sniff before you grab and go.

Your Cat Has A Question For You | Paws Pet Care

Here are our questions:

How did you choose your human?

Have you ever sneaked outside?

What’s your favorite season?

Do you have any siblings of a different species (you may include humans)?

If you could only have one channel of Cat TV, what would it be?

What is your proudest moment?

Does your human have any habits that drive you crazy?

If you could only have one toy, what would it be?

Have you ever gotten even with someone after they got you in trouble/embarrassed you?

Have you been able to train your human to hunt?

Do you have a favorite hangout?

Sorry, Cat Haters, Science Isn't On Your Side | Popular Science

And finally, a long-distance snuzzle and purr to our friends (in no particular order. Mom forgot to alphabetize them.)

We have more, but Mom made us stop. Purrs and cuddles to you all.

cat | girlywithdacurl

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

26

How to Tell a Cat From a Dog

Places That Will Take Care Of Your Pet If Something Happens To You ...

We would lo point out some obvious differences between cats and dogs. Hopefully, you will find this entertaining, but not informative. If any of this information is new to you, we recommend you spend some time volunteering at an animal shelter. Better yet, adopt a shelter animal.

Cats are more flexible.

25 Hysterically Flexible Cats Who Broke All the Laws of Physics

Is your dog clumsy? Top 10 most accident-prone dogs

Dogs are friendlier.

Ten Cats With Their Terrible Friends Who Embarrass Them | Animals ...

I Has A Hotdog - friendly - Funny Dog Pictures | Dog Memes | Puppy ...

Cats are self-cleaning.

How to Clean Your Cat Without Bathing

Not a bathtub - Imgflip

They both want to lay in your lap, regardless of their size.

Woman Shared Beautiful Photos Of Her Maine Coon Cat - And It's ...

25 Big Dogs Who Think They're Lap Dogs [GALLERY] - DogTime

Cats do not require being walked in the rain.

a cat watching the rain through a window Wallpaper and Background ...

dog walking Archives

Cats train their humans; dogs allow humans to train them.

Carl ~ On Training Your Human | Life With Catnip

A Well Trained Dog Will Make No Attempt to Shareyour Lunch He Will ...

Cats are better at hide-and-seek.

Teach Your Skittish Cat to Be Less Fearful of Strangers

159 Dogs Who Suck At Hide-And-Seek | Bored Panda

Inspired by some new friends of the family:

(Duke, Georgia, Lily, and Tyler)

Pictures courtesy of Google Images (except the boxers).

23

Stupid Question: Are Cats Smart?

Smart Cat Blank Template - Imgflip

Well, of course we are.

Pin on Funny

Cats are Smarter than Dogs

Humans always talk about how smart dogs are. That’s because dogs are dumb enough to take the humans’ tests. We cats have better things to do with our time.

My brain just exploded - Lolcats - lol | cat memes | funny cats ...

Our brain structure and folding (that thing that make brains look lumpy) is 90% similar to the humans. We’re not really sure we agree that thinking like humans makes us smart, but they do. We have 300 million neurons (nerve cells) in the part of the brain that controls thinking and decision-making (the cerebral cortex). Dogs only have 160 million neurons. Cats rule.

This cat opening a door by himself is truly impressive - Entertainment

We Learn the Same Way Humans Do

Cats have what they call procedural learning. We watch and then we do it ourselves. That’s why we can open doors, ring bells, and turning on lights. Generally, we don’t turn lights out (that’s left to our human minions).

We also have what is called object permanence recognition. Just because we can’t see something doesn’t mean we don’t know it’s there. That’s why it’s a really bad idea for humans to hide our treats. We know they’re somewhere, and we will find them.

39 Photos For Anyone Who's Just Having A Bad Day | Funny animals ...

We totally rock at taking new information and applying it to what we already know. Then we can use what we have learned in new situations. We are extremely intelligent kitties.

Cat Protects His Couch - I Can Has Cheezburger?

We are Smarter than Your Human Baby

We can eat our food by ourselves within a few weeks of being born. Your baby needs to be fed for an extended period of time.

20 Of The Cutest Pictures Of Cats And Babies

There is no question that we are cleaner than your baby. Your baby doesn’t care what they look like or what they are covered in. We wouldn’t dream of going out without being fully groomed. And we bathe ourselves.

We are capable of catching our own food. When was the last time you saw a human baby catch a mouse for dinner?

A Cat's Guide to Training Your Human - YouTube

We Train our Humans, They Don’t Train Us

We do what we want to do, when we want to do it. We have our humans trained to feed us, cuddle us, and clean up after us. They play when we want to. A few purrs and cute looks, and they are wrapped around our paws.

So stand tall, fellow cats. We are the superior beings.

This is a picture of a cat., The cat is strutting its stuff.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

(We just passed 1,000 followers. Thank you all very much.)

 

 

20

“And the Home of the Brave (Cat)”

Cats Can Be Your Hero. Cats Who Saved The Humans They Love ...

In honor of the United State’s Independence Day, we were going to tell you about some cats who served in the military. But since there is no record of George Washington having cats with his troops, we decided to look a little farther to see what we could find.

German cats were messengers during the World Wars. And cats are excellent at sniffing out drugs and bombs. But we decided to focus closer to home. We found five cats who displayed great bravery at home.

cats and dogs fighting quotes - Google Search | Cat quotes funny ...

First, we have Tara. She was outside with her small human (4 years old), when he was attacked by several dogs. Without a thought for her own safety, Tara ran into the group of dogs. She hissed, growled, and attacked the dogs until they ran away. The boy ran into the house and is fine. We assume he is now a “cat person” for life.

23 Funny Animal Pictures Of The Day | Funny animal photos, Cute ...

Next we have Jack. Jack is a cat who knows how to protect his turf. When a bear wandered into his yard, Jack was not pleased. He went into full attack mode. Jack chased the bear out of his yard and up a neighbor’s tree. We assume the bear went home and told his friends to avoid the crazy cat’s yard.

Buidling On Fire? Cat Meme - Cat Planet | Cat Planet

Next, we have Baby. Baby’s human parents were sleeping on the sofa when Baby smelled smoke in the back bedroom. She went into the front room and wouldn’t stop crying and pawing them until the humans woke up. Everyone was fine, and the mom had twins a few weeks later. Baby probably doesn’t have to worry about her humans sleeping too soundly anymore.

Cat-tain planet. He's a hero. | Cat memes, Cat pics, Funny cats

Schnautzie started her career as a hero early. When she was just a kitten, she smelled something strange. She went in to wake up her human parents. They were a little difficult to wake up, but she didn’t stop nuzzling them and crying until they wre awake. It was lucky that sh e was so persistent. She saved the family from a possible explosion due to a gas leak. With a little fresh air, the family was fine.

15 Cats Who Are Waking You Up For An Important Task... (Memes) - I ...

Last, but not least, is Pudding. He had just settled in for his first night in his new forever home. Suddenly, his human ,Mom started to act strangely. He didn’t know what was going on, so he went over to his human and tried to make her stop. He was so persistent that she oused herself from a diabetic seizure to call out to her son. He called 911, and she is fine. Puddinghas no worries about ever losing his forever home.

Just thinking about these brave cats makes us proud to be feline. It also makes us very tired.

Exhausted Cat - Tap the link now to see all of our cool cat ...

Pictures courtesy of Google Images. 

21

Springtime in the Subdivision – Conclusion

Baby Giraffe & Golden Retriever Dog - Best Friends! - Eating ...

Where we are: The residents of Mountain Valley Estates are up in arms about their neighbor Fred’s efforts to keep the neighborhood in compliance with the Association’s rules. His insistence on an overly strict interpretation of the rules has irritated most of his neighbors. They have told Jim, the Association President, that either he gets rid of Fred or they will vote him out of office. You can find Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

The animals have agreed to give Jim two weeks to solve the problem. Toward the end of that time, several of the guys were talking.

People Are Loving The Adventures Of This Hedgehog And Its Bengal ...

Jean-Luc Hedgehog: I haven’t seen Fred of a while. Is he hiding?

Ben Bruin: We were pretty rough on him.

Steve Skunk: Yeah. He was just trying to do his job. And he is our friend.

Al Angora: Maybe. But I get angry when someone makes Fluffy cry.

Henry Goat: Don’t worry guys. He’s OK. He just went to see his brother for the two weeks.

Ben: Good. That will get his mind off what is happening here.

I now call the First Annual meeting of the Unbearably Cute Animals ...

On the promised day, Jim called a meeting to give an update. The animals waited in anticipation.

Jim: Thank you for being here today. Fred and I have come to the decision that he is going to retire.

The animals couldn’t believe what they were hearing. No one really thought that Fred would give up his job.

Amelia Alligator: Did you force him to retire? What’s Fred going to do with his time?

Al:Yeah. I was pretty upset. But I thought you’d be able to come up with some kind of compromise.

GeorgeWBush Library on Twitter: "#ArchivesCUTE First Dog Barney ...

Jim: No, I didn’t fire him. Fred, why don’t you come up here and explain why you are retiring.

Fred: While I was staying with my brother, I did some thinking. I’ve been able to tell that you’re not happy with me. I was going to suggest that we have some meetings to find common ground.

The animals were nodding approvingly, but still wondered how this led to retirement.

Fred: One day, my brother and I went to a diner for breakfast. The waitress and I talked for a long time. We went out that night and were together for the rest of my visit. I’d like to introduce you to the wonderful lady who is going to be my wife. Come on up here, Sweetie.

At first, the animals were stunned into silence. But as the beautiful German Shepard joined Fred, they burst into cheers.

German Shepherd Dog Breed Information and Pictures

Fred: This is Vicki, everyone. She made me the happiest dog in the world when she agreed to marry me.

Steve: But why are you retiring?

Fred: Vicki said that she would make sure I had plenty to do.

Everyone laughed.

Jean-Luc: That’s wonderful, Fred. Congratulations!

Ellen Elk: Congratulations, Fred. But who’s going to make sure the subdivision is going to keep looking good?

German Shepherd memes | Page 2 | German Shepherds Forum

Jim walked back and took the microphone.

Jim: Since I just found out, Fred has agreed to continue until the wedding. Vicki promised to keep him in line.

Everyone laughed again.

Amelia: But what happens after that?

Jim: I’m going to take applications, and the Board will vote on the candidates. We have a month until the wedding.

Accommodating goat gives a chicken a warm roost. | Goats, Farm animals

A few weeks later, Jim called another meeting.

Jim: There were only two applicants interested in the job. The board had an extremely hard time deciding who to choose. So, Emma Chicken and Fred Goat will share the responsibilities. They will write up what they see as violations and give the information to me. At our weekly meeting, the Board will decide whether a letter should be sent to the homeowner.

That decision sounded fair to the animals. Fred’s last month was uneventful. He and Vicki had a beautiful wedding with all of his friends attending.

15 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Adopt A German Shepherd

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

 

21

Springtime in the Subdivision – Part 2

Protesting Cats | Occupy Cuteness seantrank.com | sean.trank | Flickr

Where we are: Fred Fido and two friends have volunteered to police the subdivision for outside violations of the Association’s code. Some of the other residents think Fred is taking his responsibilities a little too seriously. Jim Giraffe, the Association President, has called for a meeting to discuss the rules. See Part 1 here.

Jim: Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for attending this meeting. We have some important business to discuss.

Al Angora: We certainly do. I want you to put him on a leash.

Angry Dogs Compilation - YouTube

He points at Fred, who bares his teeth.

Al: Figurative speaking, of course.

Fred relaxes a little.

Jim: Al, those are pretty strong words. Are you sure that’s what you meant to say?

Why Do Cats Hiss? | Cuteness

Al: Yes, I’m sure. He got Fluffy crying, and she begged me to come home and cut the grass. It wasn’t even a quarter inch over the required height.

Fred: But you admit that it was too long.

Al arched his back and sat down.

Peppi Pomeranian: I agree with Al. Fred is going too far. I was watering my lawn on the correct day when Fred came by and said that my lawn was wet enough.

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Fred: She was wasting water. It was running into the street.

Peppi: That’s because I forgot to turn off the water when you and your crew started yelling at me.

Fred: So you acknowledge that you were wasting water.

Peppi growled and sat down.

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Jim: OK. Fred and his friends may have been a little over-enthusiastic. But that’s no reason to be hostile. Remember, he is volunteering his time, and the neighborhood looks a lot better.

Sarah Squirrel: I don’t care. We got a citation for having a lawn ornament. The “ornament” was my mother-in-law sleeping in the sun for a couple of days in a row.

Amelia Alligator: He did the same thing to me about my kids. He said he didn’t know that alligators have to bask in the sun to stay alive.

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Ben Bruin: He gave me a noise citation in the middle of the day. My neighbors didn’t call to complain. They know it’s just my natural voice.

The animals started to talk over each other, getting angrier as time went by. It seemed as if Fred had upset everyone in the neighborhood.

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Jim: All right, everyone. Let’s settle down so we can discuss this like civilized animals.

Fred: I’m sorry if I offended you. I was just trying to be helpful.

Peppi: You used to be a good dog, Fred. We were buddies.

Amelia: Yeah. You were the first one to welcome us to the neighborhood.

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Some of the other animals nodded and shared stories.

Steve Skunk: I agree. But you still have to go. You complained about the smell in the house that was getting outside through the open window. Seriously, Fred? We’re skunks.

Al: Sorry, Fred. I agree with Steve. I want you to find something else to do with your spare time.

Fred’s ears and tail were drooping.

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Fred: I guess I need to quit. You’ll have to hire a professional to do the job.

Jim: Wait a minute, Fred. I like your attitude. Let me think of some way we can compromise on this.

The animals groaned and looked at each other.

Al: You better think of something fast, or we’ll get rid of you too.

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Next week: Will Jim’s plan work and bring peace to Mountain Valley Estates?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.