14

Cat Forum: Interview with Valentine

 

Welcome to Cat Forum. Snoops and Kommando Kitty here. We’re talking to Valentine this month. Not only is he a very good-looking Persian kitty, he’s funny. And if you go to his blog, Noir Kitty Mews, you will also see that he is very talented.

Please tell us a little about yourself.

Mew Mew hellos Snoops and Kommando Kitty!  Well, for starters, I am a Persian kitty. But I’m not an evil one like those depicted in the movies.  In fact, I’m a kind kitty with a lot of heart.  I’ve never been in films, except for some home videos by Mom who also takes pictures galore of me.  I have my own bloggie and am on other social media.

Mom and Dad got me in 2012 from a nice lady that was fostering me through a shelter in Cali-for-nia.  Before that I lived with another lady and another even before her.  For reasons I’m not sure, those ladies didn’t want to keep me and so I was handed over to the shelters.  I was already an adult kitty with the name Valentine by the time Mom and Dad came for me.  Mom thought I looked like a Valentine so she chose not to rename me.  My furr-iends also call me Val, V, or Valentino.  Sometimes, I’m mistaken for a girl, but I am a gentleman kitty.  I own my Mom and Dad, a doggie, and a whole house full of furniture.  I also own a front and back yard.  I enjoy cuddling, dancing in the dark, day dreaming at my window, and spending lots of time with those I love.

Our mom loves fluffy black cats (grr). Do you get that reaction a lot?

Yes, I seem to get that reaction from others.  I am told I’m adorable and cute from my family and furr-iends all the time, but as far as I’m concerned all kitties are adorable and cute.  My mom falls for my fluff, too, and my eyes.  And I’m at my fluffiest this time of year, but then I lose my heavy coat when the new year comes along.

 Being a black cat, how do you feel about Halloween?

Oh, thanks for asking!  I love All Hallows Eve!  It is something I look forward to every year and I count down the days on my catlendar.  And even though I’ve heard it is not a safe time to be a black pussy cat outside on that particular holiday, I enjoy it by staying perfectly safe inside with my family.  I keep watch at the door for spooks, zoms, and cursed mousies, don’t you know?  It is also my job to greet the lil’ beings that come for candy treats.  They marvel at me as I peer at them through the window.  Sometimes they ask about me, too.  I’m sure if they had their wish they would rather be pussy cats instead of children and why would they not, right?!

You always look so well-groomed. Is that a lot of work or natural?

Why thank you.  That is so nice of you to say.  Well, I have a wonderful built-in comb that never fails me and always leaves me handsome.  I even use it on Mom’s cheeks, her eyebrows, and the top of her nose to try and help her out, ‘cause I notice she’s not so fastidious with her personal hygiene.  But I confess… I can’t take all the credit for my groomed appearance, just most of it.  Mom brushes me almost daily and sometimes multiple times a day.  I think it feels nice.  She says brushing me relaxes her.  I’m sure she is envious of my silky furrs, ‘cause hers are dry and wiry and don’t stay put – but I love her, no matter what.  She always has a tissue ready to dab my eyes when they get a little extra watery from allergies and to dab the doggie’s drool off my coat.

Do you have other furry roommates or just your humans?

Yes, there is the Basset Hound, Bessie, that lives in the same house with me and my humans.  My minion, I call her, was already living with my people when I became part of their family.  She is a senior now, but seems to still have energy to go on walks with my humans and to dart after me on occasion down the hall.  I don’t mind her so much, in fact, sometimes we play tag.  But I do mind her odors; I go over and sniff her most evenings wondering how she can smell the way she does!

What do you like to do in your spare time?

I’m doing one of them right now – I’m curled up on the sofa, relaxing with Mom and Dad while they watch the moving pictures on the black box.  I also like to keep a watchful eye on the perimeter, as my yard tends to attract many foul, feathered beasties and thieving squirrelygigs.  If I think something is amiss I send out my minion to run them off.  I also silently serenade my Tortie neighbor through the glass some days even though she doesn’t return my affections.  I also enjoy good long baths of my own making.  They relax the soul and keep me smelling fine.

Do you get to spend a lot of time outside or are you a fan of cat TV (window viewing)? 

Well, if you could touch my bean pads, you would know how soft and smooth they are – I am a kept kitty, so I do not venture into the wild yonder on my own.  Don’t get me wrong, I would really like to, but the house came with some sort of built-in, kitty security system and I haven’t yet been able to breach the doors to the outside.  But once in a while, like today for instance, Mom did take me on a nice stroll around my neighborhood.  And once in a while I am given opportunity to sit outside in a small mobile catio (kennel really) for a breath of fresh air.

Window viewing is something I do often.  There is always something interesting to spy on out the glass – strange pussy cats and dogs crossing my yard, kiddos playing with toy balls, motor cars whirring by, and the brown truck man coming to deliver me a package!

You seem like a pretty quiet kitty. Is that really you or a blog personality?

I am an introverted kitty as most Persian kitties tend to be I think.  But for some reason my bloggie lets me explore that little bit of inner extrovert in me.  I paw posts two times a week and talk about anything that interests me at the time.  Mom says I have subtle humor.  I’m not sure about that.  There are sure a lot funnier kitties than me.  I would say I’m an observer in my household, but I do like to know what is going on.  There are few things that I’m afraid of.

What do you like to do with your human(s)?

I like to share sleepy time with my humans.  That means I’m usually sprawled out on Mom’s pillow, snuggled in her arm, tenting under the blanket next to Dad or nestled between the two of them.  I also like to receive pets from them over and over again and I sound my purrs in exchange.  Then there’s supervising my humans and I’m pretty grr-eat at that.  I supervise them doing all sorts of things, you name it: household repairs, cooking, chores, sewing and crafts.  Humans need direction and I provide that for them.  I get them through each and every day.

Is there anything you’d like to add?

Well, if I may, I would like to give you kisses, ‘cause you have treated me so kindly and I so enjoyed answering your questions.  I am touched that you wanted to interview me.  And I welcome you and your readers to visit me anytime on my bloggie at noirkittymews.com.  Thank you, thank you, thank you Snoops and Kommando Kitty and Adventures in Cheeseland!  Mew Mew!

 

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25

Cat Forum: Interview with Bertie

 

Snoops and Kommando Kitty here. Welcome to another edition of Cat Forum. This month we’re talking to Bertie. We liked him the first time we met him. He has cattitude and a great personality.  He’d fit right in here at Cheeseland. You can read more of his adventures at Bertie’s Blog.

Would you please tell us a little about yourself?

Not much is known about my history because I haven’t told anyone. It has  left me with abandonment issues and I am always scared that I shall be left behind the way my previous family did. Because of this I asserted myself very early on. I didn’t care for the humans who called themselves Ma and Pa. I wanted to know what the outside space consisted of, how many houses I could go to try and get food from should the same happen again.

Of course now I’ve been here for nearly 12 months and I don’t think Ma and Pa will leave me but I do have next door to go and visit… I haven’t paid rent yet for their’s but I do consider it my second home, as you can see me sneaking in in the photo.

You’re pretty new to the blogging world; how do you like it?

I am still finding my way a little bit. I tend to be very busy so don’t always get the chance to write or comment on blogs as much as I would like to – sleeping and catching mice is very time-consuming.

Do you have any non-human housemates or just the humans? Could you tell us about them?

It is only me here. I wouldn’t mind a companion as I’m a sociable chap. My cousins live next door who I visit frequently but they don’t like me. I was there yesterday actually. I snuck in and ran upstairs. Mo was under the bed so I joined him. Joe fights more than Mo (Mo is just a scaredy-cat) and he came to find me. He stood at the top of the stairs so I couldn’t get out. The humans decided to leave us to it. I could hear them chatting in the living room.

I made a run for it. First Mo ran down the stairs and then Joe ran. At the bottom they decided to fight each other and hiss. I found this rather amusing as they are brothers and thought they were fighting me but they got confused!

Other than that I just have Ma and Pa. Ma is at home most of the time. She is neurotic. The best thing about that is when she changes the bed linen, I can hear her sniffing the air and taking delight in the new fresh smell. I go out and get my legs soggy in wet grass and then come home and jump on the bed… I don’t just find one place on the bed I walk all over it. It’s simply purrfect!

What do you like to do in your spare time?

I love sleeping best and of course catching mice.  I do also like to get into places I shouldn’t be – like the laundry basket which I knock down and then get inside.

Do you get to roam the yard or do you prefer cat TV (window watching)?

Oh my days, I HAVE to have access to outdoors. Ma will tell you that just 2 days after taking me home I had actually escaped. I had even pulled the screw caps off the catflap (I clearly need a job in construction as I’m good!).

That first time I got out was early Nov 2016. The sun was shining. I breathed the fresh air, and then ran and ran. Over the fence I went, and over another and another. The freedom was amazing! And then I bumped into a grey little fella called Sydney. Friend or foe? He had to be friend, surely, and his home looked nice. So I sat in their driveway and stared at him. I also used the cut out hole in the fence to get into his garden. His name is Sydney and I was waiting for him to relax so that we could have a chat – he could tell me about this new area – but the next thing I knew Ma was shouting at me and running towards me. She even went into the house and into the garden. I hid! Ha! Eventually I sat at Sydney’s wall at the front and I could see Ma 4 houses down but I looked away. I would hear her coming and run at the last minute. I didn’t realise she had taken her shoes off and was treading lightly with bare feet. Before I knew it, she had grabbed me.

I cannot tell you the disappointment I felt.

I’m a lot more laid back now though.

What do you like to do with your human(s)?

I’m a very chatty boy. I always have been. As soon as I hear Ma and Pa I chirrup and chat. I come to the door whenever they arrive home.  I also like to be in the garden with ma.

However, I also love to cause trouble for them. When they are watching tv in the evening and I want to go outside I shall bang the catflap in the backdoor until they get up and open the front door.

I like bringing mice home. It’s not a gift I just want to show them what a clever boy I am. As soon as they open the door I know it’s my cue to take it out the front.

Do the humans understand that we cats are the superior species or are they still being trained?

I think I have got the humans pretty well trained. They come at my beck and call. The only thing I haven’t got them trained in is giving me the correct food. I refuse to eat their food a lot of the time. They empty my bowl and put more food down. But it’s no better!! Why can’t they give me live mice so that I don’t need to go out and catch them?

Do you have special treats or toys?

I love my Dreamies biscuits. I also love my hammock which was placed there specifically for me.

Where’s your favorite spot to sunbathe?

Anywhere there is sunshine. I’m not fussy at all. I’ll even bathe on the patio table.

Is there anything else you’d like to tell us?

I’m learning human speak. I study as much as I can but it is difficult. Sometimes I give up and just purr instead.

Purrrr puurrrr

10

Davy Kitten, Superstar

Image result for cat

Davy Kitten fell asleep after his mother had read him several stories from his favorite book, 100 Cats Who Changed Civilization by Sam Stall. He began to dream about a beautiful cat. Her name was Colette. She told him that any cat as good-looking as he was should be a model. Davy blushed.

Colette told Davy to follow her. They went into a building and down a long hall. Davy was a little frightened. What if she was taking him to some big dogs who were going to eat him? He was afraid of dogs. Finally Colette slid through a crack into a large bright room.

Image result for cats walking inside

“Ah, Colette! You found me a model for my cat beds! He will be purrfect.” The man picked up Davy and cuddled him. Davy began to purr and rub his head against the man’s face.

“Now, little one, all you have to do is lay in my beds and pretend to sleep. I will take pictures. You will be famous! And so will my beds.” Davy curled up in several of them. Finally, the man was done.

Image result for cat in bed

Davy went home with the man, whose name was Bob. Bob gave Davy good food and a nice warm bed. Shortly after, Bob showed him a magazine with Davy’s picture in it. Davy thought that he actually did look pretty good. He purred at Bob.

Bob’s phone rang. He talked for a few minutes. Then he told Davy, “You won’t believe it! That was Mon Cheri Cat Food. They want you to be their spokescat. What do you think about that?” Davy wasn’t sure; he didn’t know what a spokescat was. He didn’t speak human.

They went to the Mon Cheri offices. The studio was huge. There were all types of rooms for Davy to wander through. Finally they showed him the food they wanted him to sell. “Eww! That’s awful! I can’t eat that.”

Image result for cat eating

Bob picked up Davy. “You don’t have to really eat it. It’s all pretend. I’ll see if they have another flavor.” They put another bowl in front of Davy. That one was yummy. Davy ate it all as the people took the pictures.

The cat food ads were a huge success. Davy began to get fan mail. They took pictures of him, made him put his paw in something gooey and press it on the picture. His fans loved it.

Finally the cat food people decided that he needed to go on tour. Davy didn’t like to travel. Bob said he’d be right beside him, so Davy agreed to go. He had a big bus with his picture on the side. Bob made him a special bed for the trip. Davy thought it might not be so bad.

Image result for cat in bus

At the first stop, they put a harness on Davy and took him out to meet his fans. Davy had never heard so much noise. And they all tried to touch him! Nobody had said anything about sticky fingers in his beautiful fur.

The fans adored him and the tour continued. In California, he was set up with a cameo in a movie. They gave him a bath in some kind of stinky soap and blew his coat dry. He looked in the mirror. He was a ball of fur. He went on the set. There were so many people. And they all wanted to touch him.

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Davy couldn’t take it anymore. He ran away from Bob and out the door. Outside there were more people who wanted to grab him. He couldn’t get away.

“Davy! Over here! Davy! Davy!

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Davy felt someone pushing him. He opened his eyes. It was Mama!

“Mama, I had the worst dream! There were humans everywhere and they all wanted to touch me. I couldn’t get away. I never want to be a famous cat. It was terrible!”

Mama snuggled Davy next to her and started to groom him. She decided to read about historical cats that night.

Image result for historical cats

17

Cat Forum: Interview with the Cats from Down Under

(Orion)

Greetings. Snoops and Kommando Kitty here. We have a pawsome interview for you today with the cats from Autistsix, It’s a great blog, except the cats don’t get nearly enough space. It’s about a family who live in Australia,which is apparently Down Under something. (The editors said to include it.) The lady who writes it says the whole family is a little unique because of something called Autism Spectrum Disorder. We don’t really know what she’s talking about; as far as we can tell, they aren’t any stranger than a lot of the other humans we know.

(Pixie)

Would you please introduce yourselves?

Orion – I am Orion Prince of Burmese Tigers, I am also a star.

Smokie – I’m Smokie, pleased to meet you.  I am a puppy cat.

Pixie – I am Pixie, I am confused, oh wait that’s not what I mean, I am a Princess.

Echo – Hello, a pleasure to meet you both.  My name is Echo and I am a cat.

(Smokie)

 It seems a little hectic around there sometimes. How do you keep your cat Zen?

Orion – I run round and round the house until I am sleepy then I find someone to cuddle me.

Smokie – I just live and let live until something becomes intolerable, then I bop it on the head and nap.

Pixie – On a leather band around my neck, whoops, that’s my tag.  I don’t know where I put my Zen.  Do you think Echo stole it?

Echo – I avoid the others.

(Echo)

Do you hang together or are you hissy sometimes?

Orion – I love everybody.  Echo seems grumpy sometimes when I helps her diet or wake up and Cherry Bopple gets grumpy sometimes but I don’t know why.  Rabbits knock you over if you play rough and rats can bite if you poke them, so don’t do that.

Smokie – Unfortunately in my role as ruler of the cats I occasionally have to discipline the others.  Pixie keeps being a girl cat, Echo is evil and the kitten can get a bit too big for his boots sometimes.  But really it is only Echo that I get really mad at.

Pixie – My stupid brother Smoke thinks he’s my boss.  But he is better than that evil Echo.  When I was younger she was mean to me so now I just smack her in case.

Echo – I live with the stupidest cats that ever lived and yet they expect me not to hit them.  I simply don’t understand.

(Cherise)

How many creatures do you live with (furry and not)? Do you get along with everyone?

Orion – We have humans, and dogs, and rabbits, and rats, and fishies and birds.  My bestest mate is Cushion the dog.

Echo – Charles you little ignoramus.

Orion – Where’s the amus?

       (Echo rolled her eyes.)

Echo – There are only 5 people in this house that I do not loathe; Mum, Dad, Cat and Tabby (both humans) and the dog Charles.  All the others are uncouth ruffians who don’t know how to treat a lady and don’t have a sense of humour.

Smokie – My best friend is Cherise AKA Cherry Bopple Berry we have hanged together since I first arrived.  Charlie is a great cushion.  Grandma’s dogs worship the ground I walk on which is great but they also love Orion which kinda takes the sheen off their adoration but they are great guys.  The rabbits are cool, the rats are great fun, I play with them and they feed and groom me,  I let them keep my shed fur to sleep in, I love those guys.  I like watching the birds and they sing to me, but they get a bit flappy if I try to touch them so I don’t.  I like to watch the fish but my best wet friend is the axylotyl, he and I touch through the glass.

Orion – Yeah I’m the same; I love all the other guys here although I play with the rabbits and watch the rats, the reverse of Smokie and the different best friend dog. Oh and the birds love me, I climb up on their cage and play with’em and then a hooman comes and takes me away but my birdie buds cry and squwark until I am allowed to go back, ‘cept at night, sleepin’ birds have no sense of humour, like sleepin’ Echo.

Pixie – Rabbits smell funny.  Rats feed me and groom me I love them.  Birds flap, fish are wet, and dogs are rough.  I do like the spaniel Snuggie though, he is soft and gently affectionate, I like him more than the other cats.

Orion – ‘Cept me!

Pixie – Except you, Sweetie.

Echo – Moron, the spaniel, WHOSE NAME IS CHARLES, is a dog.

Pixie – I don’t think so!

Smokie – No Sis, he’s a dog.  He’s just not a terrierist!

Pixie – Oh, I don’t hate dogs, I hate terrierists.

Do you have a favorite human?

Orion – Mumsy and then all of ‘em.

Smokie – Tabby slightly pips Dad.

Echo – Dad and Mum then human Cat.

Pixie – Mum, then Tabby and Cat.

Do you think you get enough cuddle time?

Orion – Hoomans are difficult; they want cuddle when I want run and they are doin’ stupid stuff when I want cuddle, but Mummy usually stops when I ask.

Smokie – No, I want cuddles much more.

Pixie – I want cuddles when I want them, and I almost always get them.  The secret is, scratch people until they cuddle you.

Echo – I never get enough cuddles.

Australia sounds kind of scary with big spiders and other things. Do you go outside?

Orion – Spiders are fun and yummy but they make Mummy scream and snatch me up.

Smokie – Spiders are dangerous so a nice man comes around and sprays around the house so we hardly ever see them.  He cuddled me and called me handsome last time.

Echo – The new house has no spiders, I miss them they were fun and tasty.

Pixie – Which ones are the spiders again.

Orion – I am not allowed out because Burmese are too clever to avoid danger or cars, plus I am so beautiful and friendly that I will get stolen.

Pixie – I have enough trouble finding my way around inside.

Smokie – We aren’t allowed outside there are cars and stuffs that eat cats.

Echo – We aren’t allowed outside because apparently the sun can kill us.  Another cat fell asleep in the sunshine outside and when Mum and Dad found her she needed them to put water down her throat and she almost dies.  And there are these things that look like rope ties but they bite and poison you call snakes.  They are so irresistibly wiggly that they have killed lots of outside cats.

Smokie – How do you know all this stuff?

Echo – One, I’m not stupid!

(Smokie bopped Echo.)

 Smokie – Really, yet you didn’t see that coming.

Echo –   Two, I’m older.

Pixie – Echo is really, really old.  I mean ancient, older than… you know old stuff.

Echo – Yes, thank you Princess Pointless!

Pixie – Smokie!

(Smokie bopped Echo again!)

 Echo – Finally, I actually listen!

Smokie – So you know because you are old!

Where’s your favorite place to nap/hang out?

Smokie – It is duty to sleep everywhere so that all recognize my dominion.

Pixie – I like bookcases in high traffic areas so I can get cuddles.  I sometimes get confused, but apparently I am not a book.

Orion – I mainly sleeps in doggie beds near Mummy or if she’s out Grandma, but I also love beds and my cat tree (top spot) next to Smokie, on Cushion the spaniel, and places that annoy Echo.

Echo – Couches in one of the two front rooms.

Do you have favorite snacks? Do the humans share their food?

Orion – Steak or prawn pieces from Mummy’s plate, Mummy is a great sharer, the others make me steal.

Pixie – Mummy plate fish.  There are quite a few Mummy plate foods I like.

Smokie – Chicken flavoured noodles.  Mum shares but if I want a lot of noodles I have to steal and run.

Echo – Fancy Feast Party Treats.  People food is for dogs, or morons.

Is there anything you’d like to add?

Echo – I am not volatile, I just have high standards.  Oh and I like scratching things at random as a joke, because I have a sense of humour.

Smokie – Peace out, guys.

Pixie – Add to what?

Orion – Make sure you spell me name right; O… ask Mummy!

11

Cat Forum: Interview with Alberto and the Tribe of Five

Today we welcome the extremely handsome Alberto, spokescat for the Tribe of Five. You can find him and his siblings at Feline Opines. It’s a pawsome blog. Among other things, Alberto reports on topics of interest to cats and their humans that can be found around the Internet. (Of course, he includes links so it’s really easy to follow even without thumbs.)

Could you tell us a little about each member of the Tribe of Five?
It would be my purrrleasure!   The Alpha of our Tribe is Tucker. Tucker and his sister, Jasmine are 14 years young. The humans got them from a rescue lady in California. They moved here with the humans about 10 years ago. Tucker says it was a loooong trip in the metal moving machine!  Lily was adopted from our local shelter (Panhandle Animal Shelter) four years ago and Oliver and I came to the humans as foster kittens two years ago also from the shelter. My humans are “foster failures” and Ollie and I are very happy that they are!

Tribe of Five is a great name. How did you get it?
After Oliver and I settled in, the female human looked around one day at feeding time and said, “Yikes we have a whole tribe of felines in this house!” and the rest, as they say, is history. (Plus it’s easier to refer to us as The Tribe of Five than use all five or our names!)

Do you felines ever have hissy moments?
Oh yes! Lily gets hissy when it’s time to get her nails clipped (actually “hissy” is a mild term, the humans often have to seek help from the first aid kit in the laundry room after a clipping session.)  Tucker does not appreciate anyone encroaching on his food nor does he like neighbor cats or the local raccoon staring into the room at the downstairs sliders.  Oliver and I are pretty chill but if you sneak up on us and make a loud noise, we might not hiss but I guarantee we’ll have a fuzzy tail!!!

Does it ever cause a problem that there are more kitties than humans (maybe competition for cuddle time)?
Well, it never causes a problem for the Tribe but the humans do have a few challenges. The female human was griping that there was no comfortable place for her to sit in the living room (because the male human and the Tribe occupied the sofa). She bought another sofa but that just gave us more space to spread out so now she has to squeeze between us to find a spot.  I find it quite thoughtful that she provided more comfy space for us and am a bit annoyed that she is still griping about seating.

How do each of you like to spend time with your human?
Tucker loves to be brushed, his favorite thing is sitting on a stool watching the female human prepare dinner (sometimes there’s a little treat forthcoming and Tucker is ever hopeful). . Jasmine, is still trying to transition back into the full household after going through a bullying experience (it was a very sad time for the humans, you can read about it here    https://felineopines.net/2016/07/26/amelias-story-part-1-2/  ) so for Jasmine cuddling with the humans at night is her favorite “me” time. Lily enjoys relaxing on the upstairs deck with the humans, sniffing the air and watching the birds at the feeder. I like walks with the female human. As soon as she puts my harness on me I know we’re going for a stroll and I love it. Oliver enjoys helping the male human play his guitar or assisting the female human as the house cleaning snoopervisor, watching her work and chasing the mop (he doesn’t like to hang around the vacuum monster though).

You Wander the Web every Wednesday. How do you find such interesting stories every week?
My goal is to find the most fabulous, undiscovered  feline stories on the web. I make sure my purrrsonal assistant searches daily and looks for things that we haven’t seen several times already. My favorite stories are about adventure cats and cats with jobs.

You had mentioned that your human was going to start taking you kayaking. Has it happened? What’s it like?
The female human loves kayaking and when she was at BlogPaws she met other humans who took their cats paddle boarding and kayaking. She decided she’d see how I’d take to it (I’m the chillest feline in the Tribe). It’s been a long process. We went through a few life jackets (none of which fit well as I managed to wiggle out of all of them). Until she finds the purrrfect life vest she won’t take me out on the water but we are planning a stroll to a quiet spot by the water so I can dip my paws in and get used to it in the meantime.

You seem to do a lot of the communicating for the Tribe. How did you get the role of spokescat?
The female human is a fiction writer and she says she likes to write in a character’s “voice”, She says we’re all characters and that I seem to have the loudest and most persistent voice and often, the most to say.  The rest of the Tribe do chime in now and then with their own purrrrticular points of view.

Does the Tribe get regular outdoor time or do you rely mainly on cat TV?
We are primarily indoor kitties due to the fact that we are surrounded by woods where all manner of critters live and also due to the fact that Tucker (whose cross eyes cause him a bit of visual difficulty) fell off the railing of the upstairs deck (twice) into the forest ravine below.  We now have a cool pop up net tent that fits all five of us and the humans can set it up for us on the upstairs deck, the front porch and the downstairs patio. It’s pretty cool! We have lots of big windows in the house and squirrel, bird, butterfly watching is very comfy on the wide window ledges.

Is there anything else you would like to add?
Some folks have asked how I got the name Alberto. Actually my full name is Alberto Contador. The male human is a crazy bike racing fan and he said I was a mean fast feline machine and felt that he would honor a racer he admired. Sadly Alberto isn’t doing so hot on the tour this year and retirement might be imminent. I appreciated this opportunity to talk to the Cheeseland folks and want to say to Snoops and Kommando Kitty, “Keep on blogging!” The world needs to hear more from felines!

Purrs & Head Bonks
Alberto

10

Clarice Kitten and the Dangerous Noms – Part 2

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So far – Clarice Kitten, who lives in the forest, got curious about some “noms” a woman offered her. Unfortunately, the woman used the food to trap Clarice and take her to the vet. Now the adults are trying to get her out. You can read the details here.

The three cats ran up to the house. They found Clarice asleep on a pillow on a back porch. There were screens around the porch and a screen door. Frank jumped onto one of the screens and looked in.

Frank (whispering): Clarice, wake up. We’re here to help. Wake up.

Clarice woke up and looked around. She ran to the window when she saw Frank. She started crying and tried to tell him what happened to her.

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Frank: Shhh. You need to be quiet so you don’t wake the humans. We want to get you out of there.

Clarice: Please get me out. I hate it here.

Frank: OK, your parents are out there. Let me talk to them and we’ll figure something out.

Clarice: Hurry! They want to spray me and give me to some humans. I want to be with you.

Frank: It’s OK. Try to be calm.  I’ll be back in a couple of minutes.

Frank jumped down. The three cats went back to the edge of the woods to try and come up with a solution.

Kate: How is she?

Frank: She’s fine, but scared. She says they want to spray her and give her to some humans.

Kate: Spray her? With what?

Tom: No human is going to take my kitten! What are we going to do?

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Frank: I don’t see any way in. I don’t think we can get through the screens without waking up the human.

Katie: Then we need to get her out the same way she got in.

Frank: What’s that?

Katie: The human has to let her go.

Tom: Do you have an idea?

Katie: Maybe. She saw me earlier, so she might expect me to come back.

Tom: Great. So you’re going to let her get you too?

Frank: I don’t think we have to get inside. I think we need to get the human to open the door to let Clarice out.

Tom: OK. So how do we do that?

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Frank: Katie can go up to the house and start crying. Hopefully the human come outside to see what is going on and open the door. Clarice needs to be ready to race out the door when that happens.

Kate: I guess it’s worth a try. Go tell Clarice the plan.

Frank climbed back up and told Clarice to be ready to run if the woman opened the door to see what was going on outside. Clarice hid under a chair by the door and waited.

Frank: OK, Kate. Let’s try it.

Kate sat outside the porch and cried and cried. Clarice began to cry too. Frank and Tom waited. And waited. Nothing happened.

Frank: It’s not working.

Tom: I have an idea.

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He let out a yowl and ran toward the house. Frank followed. Tom turned and hissed at him. They started to circle each other and growl. Soon they were hissing and spitting. It turned into a full cat fight. Finally a light came on in the house. The woman came to the porch.

Woman: What on earth is going on out there?

Kate continued to cry, and the male cats were fighting loudly.

Woman: For goodness sake, be quiet!

No one was really paying attention to her, except Clarice, when she opened the door. Clarice raced out and ran to her mother. Kate saw her.

Kate: Run, Clarice!

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Kate took off after Clarice. Tom and Frank were still at each other when the girls ran by. Kate came back.

Kate: Get going! She’ll come out if you two don’t quiet down.

The three adult cats raced into the woods. They found Clarice. When she saw her mother she started crying again. Kate licked her and calmed her down. They headed for home. The two male cats looked at each other.

Frank: What was that all about?

Tom: It was the only way I could think of to make more noise. No hard feelings?

Frank sat down and bathed himself. After finding no damage from the fight, he calmed down.

Frank: I guess I understand. But next time, let me know what’s going on. I could have killed you.

Tom: Not much danger of that.

They looked at each other again and started walking home.

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11

Clarice Kitten and the Dangerous Noms

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Tom and Kate lived in a nice section of the forest with a group of other cats. There were humans close by, but otherwise the location was perfect. Lots of food and a clear stream. One day, they had a litter of kittens.

They were typical kittens, playful and curious. One kitten in particular, Clarice, was into everything. One day, she ran home, all excited.

Clarice: Guess what! I discovered a different kind of food!

Kate: Really dear? And what is that?

Clarice: I’m not sure. But it’s really yummy!

Kate: Why don’t you show me this food. Maybe I’ll know what it is.

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Clarice led Kate to where she had found the food. It was at the edge of the woods near a house. She pointed to an old log.

Clarice: It came from under there.

Kate: What did it look like?

Clarice: It was small and furry. It had a long tail and sharp teeth.

Since that described the majority of the food Kate had been teaching Clarice to catch, the description wasn’t very helpful.

Kate: I guess I’ll have to see one to let you know. But you need to find one closer to home. This is too close to the humans. They might see you.

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Clarice: What’s wrong with that? Will they hurt me?

Kate: You’re such a beautiful kitten, they might want you to live with them instead of here with us.

Clarice didn’t understand why her mother would care about that. Of course Clarice would never leave her family. Then she heard a strange sound. Her mother became fully alert.

Human: Oh look. The pretty kitty came back! And she brought a friend! Wait right there and I’ll bring you a treat.

Kate was horrified. She had been right. Clarice had gone too close to the humans, and now the woman had seen both of them. Before she could tell Clarice to run, the woman was back.

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Woman: Here kitty, kitty. You must be hungry. Look at the tasty noms I brought you.

Kate was offended. How dare that woman imply that she let her kittens go hungry. But Clarice was fascinated.

Clarice: Mama, what’s a nom? Maybe it’s one of the animals I caught earlier. Let’s go see.

Kate: Clarice! Run!

Kate raced back into the woods. Clarice was confused, but ran after her. When they reached home, Kate finally stopped to explain.

Kate: Clarice, you can’t ever go back there. Noms are what humans call the food they use to try to catch cats.

Clarice: Why would they want to catch cats?

Kate: I’m not sure, but we’ve lost a few neighbors that way. And they particularly like kittens.

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Clarice went to bed soon after the conversation. She had nightmares about humans chasing her. In the morning, she vowed to never go near the humans again.

But soon her curiosity got the better of her and she went to the edge of the forest. After a couple of days, the woman saw her again. The next day, there was a bowl of food just out of the forest. Clarice tried it. It was delicious. She ran home.

Clarice: Mama! Mama! I knew you were wrong!

Kate: Clarice! What are you talking about?

Clarice: The human! She left food out and it was delicious. And she didn’t come near me.

Kate: I told you not to go near the humans.

Clarice: It’s OK. She won’t hurt me.

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A few days later, Kate heard a terrible yowling and crying. She ran to the edge of the woods in time to see the human pick up a cage with Clarice in it. She watched in horror as Clarice was carried into the house. All night, the cats could hear Clarice crying.

In the morning, Kate watched as the human carried Clarice’s cage and put it in some kind of machine. The human got in too, and they disappeared. Kate sat there for hours wondering where they had taken her kitten.

Finally, the machine returned. Kate was relieved to find out that the woman had brought Clarice back. Clarice was still crying, but she sounded tired. Kate ran back to the other cats, determined to find a way to rescue her kitten.

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Kate: They still have Clarice. We have to save her.

Tom: How are we supposed to do that?

Kate: I don’t know. But we have to do something. Let’s ask Frank. He knows a lot about humans. He can help us.

Kate and Tom found Tom, and Kate explained what has happened to Clarice. Frank listened with a worried expression.

Frank: That’s terrible. You know, the humans think they know more than we do about what is best for our kittens. Let’s go see what we can do.

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To be continued…

(Ed. note – Cat Forum with Alberto from Feline Opines was supposed to run next week. However, Clarice’s story turned out to be longer than we expected. Not to worry. Alberto will get his full say in two weeks – August 19)

all pictures courtesy of Google Images