17

The Bear, The Squirrel, and the Walnuts

Could humans hibernate like bears? – The Hill

It had been a fairly warm winter, and Sammy Bear was restless. He tried shifting hibernation positions several times, but could not get back into a deep sleep. Finally, he decided to get up before he woke up his wife Sandra. He stumbled out to the front of the den and realized that he was hungry.

Winter means hibernation for some — but not all — of Kodiak's bears

Sammy rummaged around the den, but there wasn’t anything to eat. He looked outside. There was a little snow, but nothing to stop him from having a look around. He slowly walked out. He had never been out of the den during the winter before. It was very quiet in the woods. He didn’t really like the cold on his feet. Sammy hoped he could find something quickly and get back to bed.

Find Out What Bears Really Do In The Woods | Idaho Fish and Game

He sniffed the bushes. Nothing there. Not a leftover berry in sight. No grubs or bugs either. No wonder we sleep all winter, he thought. There must be something out here. He wandered a little further from the den. Suddenly his nose started twitching.

How Do Black Bears Respond to Wind? - North American Bear CenterNorth  American Bear Center

Nuts! He could smell walnuts. Sammy loved walnuts. He looked around and didn’t see anything. He walked toward the smell and discovered a rotten tree with a hole in it. He reached in and grabbed a pawful of walnuts. Bonanza!

U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service - Black bears are common across many parts  of the United States. They are resourceful omnivores that eat meat,  berries, insects, nuts, seeds, plant roots, and pretty

Sammy ate several pawsful of the walnuts. They were delicious.

🔥 cute squirrel family : r/NatureIsFuckingLit

Meanwhile, Gerald Squirrel was conferring with his family.

Gerald: It looks like it’s going to be a good winter for us. Everybody’s healthy, and we should have plenty to eat.

Wendy: Yes, we were very fortunate that we found all of those nuts at the end of the season. They’ll last until the weather improves.

Sally: Do you think they’ll be safe in that old tree?

Gerald: I’m sure they’ll be fine. Everyone knows they belong to us.

Randy: I’d feel better if we brought them closer to the nest. You never know what might happen.

Wendy: He’s right. They are quite a long way from here. We should bring them closer to home.

Gerald: I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to move them. We don’t want to have to traipse all the way over there if we get a storm.

Late-Season Squirrels

The squirrels decided to spend the day moving their nuts. They raced over to the old tree.

Wendy: Do you see that? There’s a bear at our tree!

Randy: And he’s eating our nuts.

Sally: What are we going to do?

Gerald: We have to tell him to get away from our nuts.

Eastern Gray Squirrel Running Photograph by Philippe Henry - Fine Art  America

Gerald started to run up to the bear, but Wendy stopped him.

Wendy: Are you crazy? That bear will eat you next.

Gerald: Bears don’t eat squirrels.

Wendy: He might. He’s not supposed to be awake right now.

Randy: Yeah. He’s probably a crazy bear.

Squirrel II | Grey squirrel sitting up having noticed me. | Lawrence OP |  Flickr

Gerald hesitated.

Gerald: Do you think so? He doesn’t look crazy. He’s just sitting there eating nuts. Our nuts.

Sally: I think we should let him have the nuts.

Gerald: What are we supposed to eat? We worked hard getting those nuts.

Wendy: It’s not worth getting eaten.

Gerald: He’s not going to eat us.

angry squirrel - The Hollywood Gossip

The squirrels sat down and watched Sammy. He was certainly enjoying the walnuts. Gerald became more and more frustrated. Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore. Gerald ran straight toward Sammy, chattering wildly. The other squirrels watched in horror. Gerald stopped in front of Sammy.

Gerald: Look here, bear. Those are our nuts, and you have no right to them. Stop eating immediately!

523 Confused Bear Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images - iStock

Sammy looked at Gerald in confusion. He couldn’t understand a word the squirrel was saying. He had always been bad at other languages, and the squirrel was speaking very quickly. He could tell that Gerald was upset about something.

Sammy: Hello, little squirrel. What’s wrong? Would you like a nut?

PsBattle: These overly friendly bears : r/photoshopbattles

Sammy held out his paw with a walnut. Gerald didn’t know what to do. He looked at the other squirrels but they had disappeared. He was alone with the big bear.

Which is Worse? Senior or Spring Rates? - JJKeegan+

Next week: Can the bear and the squirrel be friends and share the walnuts?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

28

Sgt Stripes’ First Christmas

  

Hello everyone! Sgt Stripes here. I’m still living upstairs, but it’s come to my attention that something major is going on. They brought up a little green tree and put it on my dresser. It doesn’t taste very good. Mom says it’s my Christmas tree.

I asked Mr. Google about Christmas trees. He says humans decorate them for the holiday. Mom didn’t decorate mine. She said she was afraid I was going to try to eat the decorations. I wouldn’t have eaten them unless they tasted better than the tree.

This is my first year inside. I don’t really know what Christmas is all about. There’s a much bigger tree downstairs but I can’t go down there. The lady cats are still kind of afraid of me. Mom and my human brother are trying to work that out. I’m sorry I’m going to miss the big tree. It would probably be fun to climb. And all kinds of sparkly things to play with. It’s wasted on the other cats.

I have a stocking. It’s kind of weird. It’s way too big for my paws. There’s nothing in it. Mom says that Santa Paws is going to put presents in it. I’m pretty excited. I’ve never had presents before. Mom helped me pick out presents for my new human brother and sister. This is going to be so much fun!

There’s a lot of wrapping paper and ribbons and bags and stuff laying around too. So much stuff to play with! Holidays are the best!

Mom says the little humans are going to be spending the night on Christmas Eve. Their parents are going to be sharing my room. I’m not really sure I like that. The little ones scared me the last time they were here. I think I might hide out in Mom’s room until they go.

We’re supposed to be getting special food. Yummy! The humans are having a goose. I hope I get some of that. Apparently, they aren’t serving any of my favorites from outside. But their stuff should be good too.

I hope all of you have a wonderful Christmas. (Or at least a very nice weekend if you don’t celebrate Christmas.)

19

Chloe Cat’s Christmas Guest – Part 2

80 Cats Who Use Dogs As Pillows | Bored Panda

Where we are: Chloe is home from college on Christmas break. She has brought her friend Sasha with her. Her family knew Sasha was coming, but Chloe had neglected to tell them that he was a large dog. Christmas Eve dinner has become rather tense. You can read Part 1 here.

Mama Cat has brought Grandma some cream to help her get over her fainting spell. Grandma seems rather confused.

Giant Tibetan Mastiff 'As Big As a Bear' Goes Viral Trying to Get Into Car

Grandma: I must be going crazy. I thought I saw a huge dog in your living room.

Mama: No, you’re not crazy. Chloe brought home a dog.

Grandma: Why would she do that? We’re cats. Some of us are afraid of dogs.

Gretchen: Especially some of us smaller kitties. He might eat us.

Mama: I’m sure Chloe’s friend won’t eat us. Although I really wish she had mentioned it before he showed up at the door.

Angry Cat: 14 Signs Your Cat Is Mad at You — Fighting Cats

They heard a loud voice in the front room.

Uncle Charley: See here, dog. You can’t come in here and scare the living daylights out of decent cats.

Raphael: Don’t get too excited Uncle Charley, you don’t want to have a heart attack or something.

Uncle Charley: I’m not going to have a heart attack. I just want this dog to know that I’ve been around, and I can take care of myself. He needs to behave himself.

Sasha: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare anyone.

Chloe: Why is everyone so excited? Sasha’s a dog. So what? We’re all civilized cats.

Regina: Maybe it’s because you said you were bringing home a boy. We all expected a handsome mancat. Instead you bring home a huge doggo. Extremely disappointing.

Sophie: We thought you finally had a social life.

Chloe: I do have a social life. Sasha is my friend. I asked if I could bring home a friend for Christmas.

Gretchen: You’re not actually dating a dog are you?

Are Dogs Smarter than Cats? | Britannica

Chloe: What if I am?

Aunt Mildred: Dear, I know you’re not the most attractive kitty in the bunch, but even so…

Mama: Mildred! Sasha is our guest. And who Chloe dates really isn’t any of your business.

Papa Cat’s nose had been twitching. 

Can Dogs Eat Fish? - Ollie Blog

Papa: Sasha! I couldn’t help noticing. Did you bring something to add to the Christmas feast?

Sasha: Indeed I did. I asked Chloe what cats ate for Christmas. She said that you were having chicken, but that fish is always welcome. So I went to the market and got a bunch of smoked mackerel. I hope you will accept it with my appreciation for being welcomed.

Papa: Well, I’m not sure that you’re feeling very welcome, but your fish smells delicious.

Sasha: I didn’t realize I would be so much larger than everyone else. It never crossed my mind that I could be scary. I’m just a big goofball in my own family.

Papa: A lot of these cats have never met a dog up close before. I think they were mainly surprised.

Your Cat Might Not Be Ignoring You When You Speak - The New York Times

Sasha looked around and saw that the cats were watching him. They weren’t looking as startled as they had been which he took as a good sign. Grandma and Uncle Charley were talking in the corner. Finally, Grandma came over.

Grandma: Hello, Sasha.

Sasha: Hello, ma’am. I’m very sorry I frightened you. I hope you are feeling better.

Grandma: I am, thank you. So you’re a friend of Chloe’s?

Sasha: Yes, I am. She’s a very sweet girl.

Grandma: You’re right. Are you her boyfriend?

How to Get Your Cats to Be Best Friends

Sasha (embarrassed): No, ma’am, we’re regular friends.

Grandma: Do you want to be her boyfriend?

Chloe: Grandma! You’re embarrassing me! Sasha is a friend from school.

Grandma: I just want to make sure he’s not going to break your heart. You really can’t trust anyone who’s not a cat. And you can’t trust all cats.

Sasha: Don’t worry. I’m not going to hurt Chloe. I like her too much for that.

Chloe rubbed up against him and purred.

What are the signs of feline friendship? – PoC

Grandma: I don’t know. That looks like more than friends.

Chloe: Don’t worry, Grandma. I’ll be fine.

Mama Cat had been putting the finishing touches on dinner. She added Sasha’s fish to her own food. It all smelled delicious.

Mama: Everyone, it’s time to eat.

They sat down and began to eat. Uncle Charley kept drinking the catnip punch, and became more and more vocal. He was looking directly at Sasha while he was telling a story about fighting another cat for one of the many loves of his life. 

Two Cats 'Fighting Respectfully' Have Internet in Hysterics

Uncle Charley: Sasha, have you ever fought for love?

Sasha: Can’t say that I have.

Uncle Charley: Would you be willing to fight for Chloe?

Sasha: I think that Chloe can defend herself. Cats are excellent fighters.

Uncle Charley: I meant fight for her love.

Chloe: Uncle Charley, we’re not in love.

Uncle Charley: Then why is he here?

Chloe and Sasha looked at each other. Finally, he nodded.

DOE expands therapy dogs program in city schools

Chloe: Sasha is a friend of mine from Chemistry. He told me about a class he’s taking in Cat Psychology. He said that he was having trouble understanding how cats think. I asked him if he wanted to spend some time with my family and see how we get along.

Sasha: I thought it was a great idea, but that it would only work if you didn’t know I was doing research. That way you would all behave normally. So we decided that I would just come as her friend.

Chloe: I didn’t realize that everyone would think I was bringing home a boyfriend.

Sasha: I’m sorry I upset everyone. I’ll leave after dinner.

Clowder is the appropriate term for a group of cats. | Crazy cat lady meme, Crazy cats, Cats

The cats looked at each other. There were a few minutes of silence.

Mama: That makes a lot more sense than any other explanation. I don’t know if you will get the information you need, but you are welcome to stay.

Papa: Absolutely! I can teach you how cats hunt.

Uncle Charley: And I’ll teach you how we fight.

And that is how a very large dog got the best grade in his Cat Psychology class.

Cat Christmas Dinner | Finding the Perfect Recipe | Bella & Duke

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

22

Chloe Cat’s Christmas Guest

300+ Free Christmas Cat & Christmas Images - Pixabay

Mama Cat had been working hard for days getting everything ready for Christmas. She was having a big family dinner on Christmas Eve. It was the first time the whole family had been together in several years. The best part was that her daughter Chloe was coming home from college for the first time since the beginning of the school year. And she was bringing a friend. A male friend!

Mama Cat: I’m so excited to see Chloe! It’s been months since she’s been home.

Papa Cat: I’ve really missed her. She’s my little buddy. I hope we get a chance to go hunting while she’s home.

Mama Cat: I wouldn’t count on it. She’s bringing a boy home. She’ll probably want to spend all her time with him.

Cats R Cool 4 Back to School - oregonlive.com

Regina: Don’t you think it’s a little weird that she never talks about him? We don’t really know anything except that she met him in her Chemistry class.

Sophie: Yeah. So we know that he’s probably a nerd like she is.

Mama Cat: Be nice, girls. She’s never brought anyone home before. It must be serious.

Papa Cat: How serious can it be? She’s only been gone four months.

Mama: We need to be nice to him. He’s going to be staying here for a few days.

17 Pets Who Can't Believe You Aren't Taking Them On Your Trip - The Dodo

Meanwhile, Chloe was preparing to go home.

Chloe: Sasha, are you ready to leave yet?

Sasha: Not quite finished packing. Are you sure I’ll be welcome?

Chloe: Absolutely. My family is great! Mama says they’re really excited about meeting you.

Sasha: What have you told them?

Chloe: Just that I met you in Chemistry, and that we’ve become good friends. And that I wanted to bring you home for the holidays so you wouldn’t be alone.

Sasha: Do they think I’m your boyfriend?

Chloe: It never really came up.

Cat Signals for Expressing Happiness and Mood

Sasha rubbed his head against Chloe and she purred.

Chloe: Okay. We’ll leave mid-morning. Remember, we have to be there by 2 pm. Mama doesn’t want anyone to be late for dinner. And I haven’t seen them in months so I don’t want to miss anything.

Sasha: Don’t worry. I’ll be ready bright and early.

Christmas Eve was a beautiful day. Sunny and cold. The family started gathering around noon. Grandma and Grandpa were the first to arrive. As usual, Grandma had brought her favorite catnip cookies.

US embassy apologises after mistakenly sending Cookie Monster cat invitation | Canberra | The Guardian

Sophie: Yummy! One of the best parts of Christmas.

Grandma: Is Chloe here? I can’t wait to see her. I hear she finally has a beau.

Mama: Mother! Don’t embarrass her. She’s calling him a friend. We have to be nice.

Grandma: I’m going to be nice. It’s just good to see she finally has a social life.

Mama: Mother —

I prefer the unneutered male cat appearance – PoC

Uncle Charley was next. He was a little eccentric. Rather conservative and prone to speaking his mind.

Papa: Charley! Good to see you. How are things?

Uncle Charley: Not bad. Glad to see the elections are finally over. Didn’t see too many dogs or other lowlifes voted into office this time. Maybe we’re finally back on track to getting things back under control.

Regina: Uncle Charley, would you like some milk or some water?

Uncle Charley: Do you have anything stronger?

Mama: I was going to make some punch if anyone wanted it.

Uncle Charley: The good stuff with catnip AND silver vine?

Mama: That’s the one. I’ll go get started.

Group shot of a pack of kitties ❤ #grouppicture #kittens #cats #adorablecats | Cute cats, Cats, Cute cat memes

While Mama was in the kitchen, most of the rest of the family arrived. There were about 20 cats in the extended family, and everyone had come. Except Chloe.

Mama: I wonder where Chloe is. I told her not to be late.

Just then, the doorbell rang. 

Mama: How odd. Who would that be?

Sophie: I see Chloe’s suitcase out front. Maybe she has a surprise.

25 Giant Dog Breeds — Huge Dogs | Reader's Digest

Mama opened the door and saw Chloe’s surprise guest. She could barely speak.

Mama: Welcome to our home; you must be Sasha.

Sasha: Indeed, I am. Thank you for having me.

The others heard voices but couldn’t recognize the accented words. Sophie ran up.

Sophie: Oh my cats! You’re a dog!!

Sasha: Why, yes I am.

Dogs That Are Good With Cats: Breeds That Tend to Do Well With Felines

Sasha was the largest dog she had ever seen. And he was standing in the doorway to her house. Her father stepped up.

Papa: Sasha, please come in.

Sasha stepped into the room and looked around the room full of cats. He wasn’t sure whether to be amused or frightened. Chloe was still paying the driver and getting their things organized. Finally she came up.

Chloe: Hello everyone. I see you’ve met Sasha.

Her grandmother had been in another room. She came out when she heard Chloe’s voice, took one look at Sasha and fainted. Uncle Charley arched his back and began to hiss. Sasha looked like he wanted to head for the door. He wasn’t sure what to do with the box of smoked fish he was holding.

Next week: Will the family have a Merry Christmas? You can read the conclusion here

Christmas Cat Pictures | Download Free Images on Unsplash

 

12

More Christmas Carols for Cats

Hello! It’s Thunder, back in action! Last year, I wrote a list of well-known Christmas songs to make them more cat friendly. Sadly, as I listen to more Christmas music this year, I realized that people have not taken the hint, and continue to write songs as if only people are listening to them. Harrumph! So, I decided to edit eleven more songs, and a very special bonus from Kommando Kitty(!) to reflect the feelings of a cat! Please enjoy the updated versions to some of our favorite Christmas carols.

 

Angels We Have Heard on High

This song was done in honor of my sister, Angel! I’m not totally sure why songwriters would choose to feature the slightly less beautiful, less charismatic sister (no offense, Angel!), but oh well! Her name is probably easier to work with in the Christmas season.

“Angels who meow at me,

purring, sitting prettily.

Staring at the food she sees,

waiting for the human to come and feed.

Meow-oooooow-oooooow-ooooow-ia!

It is finally dinner time!

Meow-oooooow-oooooow-ooooow-ia! Now we will finally get to eat!”  

Grownup Christmas List

Grownups have too much stuff (not as much as human kittens, though. They have even more stuff, and most of it is useless!) So why do they need a Christmas list to request more dust gathering junk? Cats, on the other hand, never have enough things. Our boxes get crushed, our beds deflate, our toys hide under couches, and our food disappears! It’s plain awful! Clearly, cats need a Christmas list much more than grownups. I’m thinking our list would like a bit like this:

“Do you remember me?

I have lots of needs.

A mousie and a box in which to play

I also need a bowl, and please fill it up full.

I’m also thirsty, so some water please!

I do need a mat, soft, and furry, and flat.

On this surface I plan to nap!

No more loud noises outside, and no more rain I need to hide, and no more vacuums by my side!

Every cat would have a friend, and naps would never end, and scurchies on the tail bend!

This is my kitty Christmas list.”

Away in a Manger

I asked my human what a manger was, since it sounds suspiciously close to mange, a life-threatening condition that only your vet should treat. She showed me a picture of some trough thing that looked super uncomfortable. But in the song, Jesus had to sleep in one of these “mangers”. A bed sounds much better! And I’m pawsitive Jesus wouldn’t have minded sharing the space!

“Away in a manger,

there lays a tired cat.

She is trying to sleep but keeps getting pats on the back.

She blinks and her eyes close

and on to her back she rolls.

And she hopes that morning will come but very, very slow”. 

Let It Snow

I hate snow. It is cold, it is water, and it has no place anywhere near me. Why anyone would advocate for it snowing is beyond me. The only good thing is sometimes we get so much snow that my humans stay home and cuddle with me all day. So, I suppose snow does have some sort of use. Such as:

“Oh, the weather outside is frightful!

But the cat is so delightful!

And since our car won’t go,

let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!

It doesn’t show signs of stopping, so I can be on the couch napping.

Turn the lights off now!

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow!”

O Come, All Ye Faithful

Large gatherings of people are annoying. They’re loud, and there’s a huge risk of someone stepping on your tail (especially if it’s as long as mine)! The only reason I could see people gathering is to feed and pamper a gaggle of cats. Also, I’ve suspiciously noticed that even people who claim to be cat lovers leave us for hours on end to go to “work” or to “shop and socialize”. This seems a bit odd to me, so I’ve changed “faithful” to “people”.

“Oh come, all you people!

Come and adore me!

I am beautiful

and you are lucky to be by me!

I am a kitty!

Very furry and pretty.

Oh, come and pet me!

Oh, come and feed me!

Oh, come and play and nap with me, right now, human!”  

Deck the Halls

I love it when my humans decorate! It gives me an opportunity to find new toys and to give my own touch to the holidays! There are shiny things, and balls, and twinkling lights- it’s like paradise! As such, I wrote a joyful reflection to this:

“Deck the halls and please the kitties!

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!

Hang the balls, get in a tizzy!

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!

Chase the sparkling lights around us!

Fa-la-la-la-la la la-la-la-la!

Feast on gourmet Christmas food now!

Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!”

 

Hark! The Herald Angels Sing

This song is not solely dedicated to Angel, although once again, it shares her name (she seriously has the easiest name to sing about)! Although, to be fair, all cats sing lovely songs, at all times of the day! Clearly the song should be more like:

“Hark! The herald kitties meow!

At the top of their lungs, they’re super loud!

Peace in the house will be found with food;

this responsibility lies on you.

Joyful when the can arrives!

Pour it out from way up high!

Peace is finally in this house!

Now I shall go and hunt a mouse!

Hark! The herald kitties meow!

Peace in the house is finally found!”

 

Last Christmas

Cats are great at remembering the past (especially when you forget to feed us). So I thought it was fitting that there was a song that reminded you how generous we were in the past year. 

“Last Christmas, I gave you a mouse.

But you screamed really loud, and ran out of the house.

This year, to save you from fear, I’ll bring you a bird instead.”

Mary Did You Know

I’m not really sure who Mary was. And I’m not really sure what she was supposed to know. But after hearing the apparent grief she went through prior to people realizing Jesus was a really good guy to have on your side, I’m betting she wished she had a cat. If Jesus had been a cat, we could have sang:

“Mary did you know,

that a lonely cat would fall asleep in your lap?

Mary did you know,

that a kitty cat would ride along in your sack?

Did you know that you’d have to feed a gorgeous, starving feline?

When you get your milk in the morning, get me a bowl to drink!

Mary did you know…” 

 

Need a Little Christmas

Cats deserve the world. We need everything, and should have everything. And Christmas just isn’t centered around cats enough. So, I fixed it! 

“Haul out the boxes!

Put up a string of lights for the world to see!

Fill up the glasses.

Make sure they’re full of something I find yummy, please!

For we need a little Christmas! Right this very minute!

Shiny balls hanging! Tearing at the presents,

yes, we need a little Christmas! Right this very minute.

There hasn’t been a single flurry, but I don’t care because I’m furry!”

We Wish You a Merry Christmas 

This one seems pretty easy to turn cat friendly: we wish you a meowy catmas! But, of course, humans are too self centered to think about us poor, neglected felines. So, I took it upon myself to write:

“We wish you a meowy Catmas!

We wish you a meowy Catmas!

We wish you a meowy Catmas!

And a sleepy new year!

Good boxes we bring, to you and your friends.

Good munchies on Catmas, and a happy new year!

We wish you a meowy Catmas! We wish you a meowy Catmas!

We wish you a meowy Catmas!

And a sleepy new year!”

And now, what we’ve all been waiting for… The Kommando Kitty bonus! Kommando texted me with this idea, and I fell in love! It is so much better than my version of “Deck the Halls “. I am pleased to introduce to you “Wreck the Halls “, by Kommando Kitty! 

Wreck the Halls

“Wreck the halls while chasing mousies! Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la. 

Break the bulbs and pounce on Frosty! Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la. 

Dangle from the pretty wreath now! Fa-la-la-la-la la-la-la-la. 

Shred the presents and eat the bows! Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la!”

I hope you enjoyed these updated and improved carols. Have a safe and happy Catmas, and may it be full of boxes, shiny ribbons, and naps! 

Furs and purrs,

Thunder K. Katt

14

Jake Rabbit, the Very Bad Hibernation Lodger – Part 2

Can My Bunny Play In The Snow? - Bunny Parents

Where we are: Jake Rabbit had been planning to spend the winter with his girlfriend Suzy in the home of the hibernating Woodchuck family. Unfortunately, he made too much noise and woke up the Woodchucks. Now he had to find a new place to stay. You can read Part 1 here.

Early the next morning, Suzy set out to find Jake. It didn’t take long. He was under the other end of the porch where the Woodchucks had burrowed. He looked pretty bedraggled.

sleepy bunny Free Photo Download | FreeImages

Suzy: Jake! What are you doing here?

Jake (embarrassed): I kinda got lost last night. After hopping around for a while, I came back here to get a little sleep.

Suzy: Where are you going to go?

Jake: I don’t know. Do you think I can go back and apologize to Wally?

Suzy: I don’t think that’s a good idea. He’s sleeping.

Jake: Oh, right. Maybe he wouldn’t notice if I just slipped back in.

You Shall Not Pass: Sweet But Angry Groundhog Tries to Scare People Off With Evil Laughter

Suzy: That is not a good idea.

Jake: Maybe we can find a place of our own.

Suzy: It’s the middle of winter. All of the good spots are taken. And there aren’t any leaves or grass around to make a bed.

Jake: Right. That’s a problem.

Suzy: What about your buddies? Maybe you can stay with one of them?

Jake: Nah. They’re a bunch of slobs. It would drive me nuts living with them.

Suzy: Could you move back home?

Jake: I don’t want to go back there.

Rabbit Fact Sheet | Blog | Nature | PBS

Suzy: Why not? I’m sure your Mom would let you stay.

Jake: It’s embarrassing. I said I was ready to leave home.

They went for a walk around the woods. It was a beautiful day. There were deer and squirrels running around. They didn’t see any of their friends, but ran into a couple of Jake’s sisters.

Jasmine: Jacob! How are you? We miss you!

Jake: I’m good.

Rabbits -- sad rabbit.

Jenny: How do you like living with the Woodchucks? Is it hard being quiet all the time?

Jasmine (looking at Suzy): We have a bet about how long he’s going to last before he gets in trouble.

Jenny (laughing): Yeah. Jake’s kinda loud for a rabbit.

Suzy and Jake looked at each other but didn’t say anything. Jenny stopped laughing.

Jenny: What’s wrong? Isn’t it working out?

Jake: That stupid woodchuck threw me out last night.

How High Can Rabbits Jump? - Sand Creek Farm | Rabbit jumping, Wild bunny, Animals

Suzy: Jake! He’s not stupid! You woke him up. He had a right to be mad.

Jake: Whose side are you on? I thought you were my girlfriend.

Suzy: I am. But you knew they were sleeping, and you had a party.

Jasmine: That was kinda dumb, Jake.

Jenny: Yeah. We love you, but no one could sleep through one of your parties.

Jake: I guess you’re right. It was dumb. But now I don’t have anywhere to live.

Pet-n-Sur - How do rabbits show happiness?

They all sat and thought for a few minutes. Jasmine started smiling.

Jasmine: Hey, Jen. Didn’t Aunt Sheila say that she was looking for someone to help around the house?

Jenny: That’s right! She’s been having a terrible time trying to find anyone.

Suzy: Isn’t she the one that lives in that gorgeous burrow by the big oak tree?

Jenny: Yep. It’s huge.

Suzy: You should talk to her.

HD lots of rabbits wallpapers | Peakpx

Jake: I don’t know. She has like a million kids. It’s a zoo over there.

Jenny: That’s why she needs someone to help.

Jasmine: You’d be perfect! You’re like a big kid.

The three girl rabbits talked Jake into visiting Sheila. He didn’t really like little rabbits, but he didn’t want to spend another night hiding under the porch. He nervously knocked at the door.

Sheila: Jake! It’s so nice to see you! How are you? Jennifer! Jasmine! And a beautiful stranger! Come in!

100 years ago: Rabbits burrow into willow tree | Environment | The Guardian

They all entered the burrow. It was beautiful. Sheila listened while Jake explained that he was looking for a place to spend the winter. There were several young rabbits running around, but it was not at all crowded.

Sheila: You are welcome to stay here if you would like, Jake. You can have a room at the back.

Jake: That would be wonderful! Can I have friends over?

Sheila:  Certainly. We can’t have any parties, of course, because of the children. But your girlfriend is more than welcome to visit, if she’d like. And, of course, your family is welcome.

Jake couldn’t believe his luck. He promised himself that this time would be different.

30 Cute Bunny Pictures to Make You Smile — Adorable Bunnies

Pictures courtesy Google Images.

21

Jake Rabbit, the Very Bad Hibernation Lodger

Teddy wants everyone to see his party hat and give him compliments : r/ Rabbits

Suzy Bunny had been subletting a room from Wally Woodchuck and his family for several months. She was a very sweet bunny, and they treated her like a daughter. Towards the end of summer, she brought her boyfriend Jake home to meet the Woodchucks.

Suzy: Everyone, this is Jake.

They all greeted him and invited him for dinner. He was a very charming rabbit and soon won everyone over with his jokes and laid-back manner. It wasn’t long before he was visiting every day.

When the weather began to cool down, Jake had an idea.

The rabbit on hind legs Desktop wallpapers 1366x768

Jake: Suzy, how about I move in with you for the winter? I need a place to get out of the snow, and it’s really nice here under the porch.

Suzy: You mean like we would be living together? That sounds awesome!

Jake: Yeah! Do you think it would be okay with the Woodchucks?

Suzy: I don’t know why they would mind they seem to really like you.

Jake: You should ask. I know they think of you like family.

Groundhog Day 2018 Results Are Very Different | Time

Suzy approached Wally and Wanda, explaining that she would like to have Jake move in. They looked at each other.

Wally: You know that we love you, Suzy. But we hibernate in the winter, and we’re just getting ready to settle down. We think it’s fine for you to stay here, but we really don’t know about having anyone else in the burrow.

Wanda: He seems like a nice young man, but rabbits don’t hibernate. We really need our rest.

Suzy was disappointed, but she went back to tell Jake that the answer was no. He didn’t say anything right away. But the next time he visited for dinner, he brought it up.

Two bunnies cuddling (Melts my Heart) : r/aww

Jake: You know, winter is coming and I really need someplace to stay in the bad weather. I’ve been dating Suzy for about six months now, and it would be perfect if I could just move in with her.

Wally: Where are you now, Jake?

Jake: I’m with my parents, but I don’t really belong there, being a fully grown rabbit and all.

Wally: That’s probably true. They’ll be having little ones in the spring, more likely than not.

Jake: Exactly. And I really don’t have any privacy. It’s not like I can take Suzy back there.

HotSpot Pictures | Sleepy groundhog

Wanda: We really like you, Jake. But we’re concerned about having someone coming and going at all hours while we’re trying to hibernate. Suzy is very quiet, and we think that she’ll be fine. We really don’t know you very well.

Jake: You won’t even know I’m here. I promise.

Suzy: You have my word. I’ll make sure he’s as quiet as I am.

5 Natural Ways To Get Rid of Groundhogs - Farmers' Almanac - Plan Your Day.  Grow Your Life.

The Woodchucks thought about it for a few days, and decided to let Jake move in. It was only a couple of weeks before hibernation, and they were busy gathering their nesting materials and eating extra to put on some weight. The only thing that they really noticed was that he seemed to have a lot of friends all of a sudden.

Wally: Well, this is good-night for the season. The kids are all settled in. Wanda and I wanted to see if you had any questions before we turn in.

Jake: Where do you keep the extra food? I noticed that there really isn’t much in the pantry.

Wanda: We don’t keep food over the winter. We’re sleeping. It’s up to you and Suzy to feed yourselves.

Jake: Oh. I guess I hadn’t really thought it through. That makes sense.

Do Rabbits Hibernate in Winter? {How do they Survive?} » Birds & Wild

Suzy: It’s okay, sweetie. You’ve foraged before haven’t you?

Jake: Not, really. I lived at home. Guess I’ll have to pick it up.

Wally: Anything else?

Jake: Exactly how soundly do you guys sleep? I mean, what if there’s an emergency?

Wally: What kind of emergency?

Jake: I don’t know. What if we need you?

Punxsutawney Phil's Groundhog Day 2012: A Shadowy Science

Wally and Wanda looked at each other.

Wally: Good night, Jake. Have a good winter, Suzy.

Suzy: Sleep well, guys. See you in the spring.

Jake started hopping around.

Jake: This is really weird. They’re going to sleep for months?

Suzy: That’s how hibernation works. We’ll be fine.

Commentary: Hibernation? Give it a rest | Chanhassen Opinion |  swnewsmedia.com

The Woodchucks get settled in for the winter, and are peacefully hibernating. Suzy and Jake were adjusting to life together.

Jake: We should have a party! You know, like a housewarming!

Suzy: We can’t have a party. The Woodchucks are hibernating.

Jake: How about something small? Just a few of our friends.

Reluctantly, Suzy agreed. A few rabbits came over one night. Suzy checked on the Woodchucks, and they seemed to be fine.

Group of rabbits eating food in the garden | Rabbit feeding, What to feed  rabbits, Rabbit eating

Jake: See? I told you it would be okay.

Jake got into the habit of having a few of his buddies over every couple of days. One or two of them seemed to be pretty much living at the burrow. Suzy didn’t really notice because she was busy outside of the burrow. She really liked winter. Jake didn’t notice that the Woodchucks were a little restless in the their hibernation.

Jake: Suzy, this is great! It’s like having our own place. It’s like the Woodchucks aren’t even here.

Suzy: I’m getting nervous, Jake. This isn’t our place, and we really don’t know how much noise they won’t hear. I promised them I would be quiet.

Jake: Relax. They’re out for the season.

Researchers find the secret of the bunny hop: it's all in the genes |  Genetics | The Guardian

Jake decided to throw a party. Suzy went along because she really liked Jake. Things were going pretty well until a bunch of rabbits started dancing. They were shaking the whole burrow. Suddenly, a very large form stood in the doorway.

Wally: I thought I told you that you needed to be quiet?

Jake didn’t even see him. Suzy poked him to attention.

Jake: What?

Groundhog Day 2022: Forecast, Facts, and Folklore - Farmers' Almanac - Plan  Your Day. Grow Your Life.

Wally: I TOLD YOU TO BE QUIET IF YOU WANTED TO STAY HERE!

Jake: Did we wake you?

Wally: Of course, you woke me. You woke everyone in the neighborhood. You need to leave. Now.

The other rabbits had scattered when they saw the large woodchuck. It was only Suzy and Jake in the burrow.

Suzy: I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize it was going to be so loud. I shouldn’t have agreed to it.

Wally: No, you shouldn’t have. He has to go. Or you both have to go. Now.

Jake slunk out into the darkness. He had no idea where he was going. Suzy was in tears. Wally stomped back to bed.

Next week: What is going to happen to Jake?

Can Rabbits Stay Outside in the Winter? | Rabbit Hole Hay

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

11

Live Big: Celebrate National American Bison Day

Plains Bison (Bison bison bison) | U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service

Greetings. Exciting news. Today is National American Bison Day! You know, those huge hairy beasts roaming the North American plains. The ones everyone used to call buffaloes. They’re the largest mammal in North America, and they have their own day to celebrate their awesomeness.

Bison Bellows: A New Initiative to Celebrate Bison (U.S. National Park  Service)

We’re lucky we still have this beauties with us. Before the European settlers arrived, there were approximately 30-60 million bison roaming around. (We know that’s a wide range, but bison weren’t very good recordkeepers.) Native Americans used bison for food, clothing, shelter, and other things, but the settlers hunted them almost to extinction. (They were also not very good with rifles.) We only have about 10,000 left, living in 17 herds. They live in the western U.S. and Canada.

Bison Interests - Investment Firm, Oil and Gas Investments

Every year since 2012, the US Senate has passed a resolution declaring the first Saturday in November as National Bison Day. (No, we have no idea why they have to do it every year. It doesn’t really seem controversial.) Even better, on May 9, 2012 President Obama made the American Bison the National Mammal of the U.S. with the National Bison Legacy Act.

First baby bison of the year born at Fermilab

Bison Fun Facts

  • They can weigh up to 1,000 pounds (that’s like 100 cats)
  • They originated in Southeast Asia about 2.5-2.6 million years ago. Yellowstone Park is the only place in the U.S. where they have lived continuously since prehistoric times.
  • They are a lot faster than they look. They can run up to 35 miles per hour.
  • They have poor eyesight, but their hearing and sense of smell help compensate.
  • They live up to 20 years.
  • The babies are called red dogs.

9 Laughing Animals | Laughing animals, Baby animals, Cute animals

Bison Riddles

What did the mother say when her son went to college?  Bison.

How can you tell there’s a bison under your sleeping bag? The ceiling of your tent is very close.

How can you tell a bison from a field mouse? Try to pick it up. If you can’t, it’s either a bison or a very large mouse.

What do you get when you cross peanut butter with a bison? Either peanut butter that roams the range or a bison that sticks to the roof of your mouth.

What do you call a bison at the North Pole? Lost.

What kind of car does a bison drive? A Furrari.

What animal is always the designated driver? Water buffalo.

What time is it when a bison sits on your bed? Time to get a new bed.

65 Different Species of Animals Laugh, Says a New Study

Bison Jokes

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a bison walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn’t believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the bison’s mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, “It’s a miracle!” “Not really,” said the bison. “Your name is written inside the cover.”

A man and his pet bison walk into a bar. It’s about 5 pm, but they settle in for a night of drinking. They spend the night drinking, one drink after another. Finally, it’s last call. The man says, ” One more for me, and one more for my bison.” The bartender sets them up, and they down the drinks. The bison falls over, dead. The mans throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat, and goes to leave. The bartender yells after him, “You can’t leave that lyin’ there.:The man responds, “It’s not a lion; it’s a bison.”

Bovini/Bisonte Americano(Bison Bison): | American bison, Animals, Herding

A bison sits down next to a man in a movie theater. The man asks, “Are you a bison?” “Yes, I am.” The man is surprised. “Why are you at the movies.” The bison replies, “I liked the book.”

A policeman stops a man who has a baby bison in the front seat of his car. “Why do you have a baby bison? You should take him to the zoo.” The man nods and drives off. The next week, the officer sees them again. They are both wearing hats and sunglasses. He pulls the car over. “I thought I told you to take the bison to the zoo.” The man replies, “I did, officer. We had such a good time, we’re going to the beach this week.”

Numbat - ZooBorns

Hope you found this entertaining. In case you’re interested, November 5th is also National Redhead Day, World Tsunami Awareness Day, Chinese Food Takeout Day, and World Numbat Day. Numbats are banded anteaters (also known as walpurti), who live in western Austalia. If you live in the UK, it is primarily known as Guy Fawkes Day/Gunpowder Day/Bonfire night. They are celebrating either an attempt to blow up Parliament or the successful repression of that attempt.

Regardless, we think it’s Bison who rule the day.

National Bison Month - American Humane - American Humane

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

Jokes courtesy of http://www.jokes4us.com/animaljokes/buffalojokes.

21

What’s Worse Than a New Cat in the House?

Cute Photos of Cats and Babies Sure to Steal Your Heart

Greetings, everyone. We, Snoops and Kommando Kitty, are welcoming our new brother Sgt Stripes to the blog because we are all in a terrible situation this weekend. We have been overrun by two small (13 months and 2 years), loud children. And we are not happy.

Snoops here. They arrived Thursday, and nothing seemed out of place. Our human sister brings them over once in a while. They stick around for a few hours, make a lot of noise, smell weird, and then go home. Then our sister and her husband left, but the rugrats stayed. I was pleasant and didn’t run away, but one of them tried to touch me. I am now watching from a distance.

Sgt Stripes reporting. I had a terrible night. The way it usually works is that I have the run of the upstairs house during the day. Then the humans spend time with me at night before I go to my room and Kommando (and maybe Snoops) sleeps with Mom. Last night, they brought up these two creatures. I’ve never seen anything like them before. I guess they’re miniature humans. But the one tried to CHASE me.

Cats That Think They Are The Masters At Hiding - I Can Has Cheezburger?

I was terrified. I love cuddling with the big humans, and have no problem letting them pick me up. But this creature was trying to grab me! And he was making a lot of noise. I hid under the bed. Later, the bigger one started crying. A lot. There was no way I was coming out. After they were finally asleep, the humans coaxed me out. But I refused to go in my room. That’s where they tried to grab me. At least they slept for a long time. They went back downstairs in the morning. But I think they’ll be back tonight.

Kommando here. Today was even worse than yesterday. Mom had them in the kitchen while she was doing the dishes. The little one unplugged our fountain and dumped the water. Mom didn’t think he could get to the cord. Now we have to drink out of a bowl until they leave. Our kibble and wet food can’t sit on the floor right now either unless we are being fed. One of them tried to eat it. When the little humans visit, their parents usually put a fence in place to keep them out of the kitchen. But the fence keeps me out too. (I’m not really a jumper.)

I tried to get cuddles while Mom was watching TV. But that little human was on the sofa with her. And he PETTED me. It was very traumatic. Now I’m with Snoops watching them from a distance.

Lolcats - tail - LOL at Funny Cat Memes - Funny cat pictures with words on them - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny cat pictures with words on

We’re not sure how long they’re staying. Mom says a couple more days. That is a long time. Our eating is messed up. And our bedtime routines are scrambled. Mom says they’re trying to be friendly because they have kitties of their own. We’ve heard stories that our cousins Angel and Thunder even let them touch their tails. Not gonna happen here.

We don’t have much experience with small humans, but they smell even worse than big humans. Maybe because they’re down here on the ground with us. And sometimes they make a lot of noise. Mom tries to keep them quiet and entertained, but sometimes it doesn’t work and they cry. Really loud.

We thought it was tough trying to get used to other cats. This is a whole different animal.

40 Funny Grumpy Cat Memes

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

17

Cat Forum: Are You the Hunter or the Hunted?

Hi Everyone. It’s Kommando Kitty leading off today. I am not a happy cat. My mom and human brother are calling me a scaredy cat. They keep trying to introduce our new invader brother, and I don’t want to meet him. Snoops pretty much ignores him, but I run when he comes near. Mom says he’s going to think I’m prey. I don’t understand why they can’t just leave him upstairs.

Back when I moved in, things were different. I was a tiny kitten, and Snoops had just been adopted after having kittens. She adopted me, but I made sure that I was in charge. Over the years, she’s gotten more assertive, so we’ve been more-or-less equals for a while. Now there’s a new guy. He doesn’t seem mean or aggressive. Nobody’s even heard him hiss or growl. He has a LOT of energy. And I just want to hang out.

This is Snoops. The humans are taking things slowly here. It should be okay soon. It’s just weird, because Kommando has really mellowed out over the years. She used to be a little bully. Now I have to protect her. It’s like she got a personality transplant.

Enneagram Memes - Funny Images For Enneagram Types 1 - 9

We’ve been looking at the different types of personalities that cats have. It’s pretty interesting. Apparently, someone has been doing a lot of work and identified the five basic personality traits of kitties. They are: skittishness, outgoingness, dominance, impulsiveness, and agreeableness. All of us have some degree of each trait to make up our unique selves.

How Can You Tell If Your Cat is Stressed? - Rehome by Adopt-a-Pet.com

Skittishness (or Neuroticism) – This measures where you fall on the calm to stressed out scale. The more neurotic you are, the more easily you get stressed out. You are more likely to be anxious or depressed. You will run from the unknown or strange things. It’s not a bad thing to be skittish. Just make sure you have a place to hide and feel safe. You may be braver when you are more comfortable with the situation.

Caturday Pootie Diary: I've Seen Enough - Dance Party Time

Outgoingness (or Extroversion) –  Let’s face it. Some cats are party animals and some are not. (We are not, but we think that Sgt Stripes probably is.) This measurement looks at how impulsive you are versus being cautious. We are all curious, but some of us take it to the extreme. Some cats go through life looking for adventures, while others are happy living with set limits. Outgoing cats are sometimes called “nosy.” They are easily bored and need more mental stimulation than their more introverted friends. They may get destructive when they get bored. If you are an extroverted cat, make sure you have plenty of toys. Playing with your human will help you avoid boredom.

Lolcats - bully - LOL at Funny Cat Memes - Funny cat pictures with words on them - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny cat pictures with words on

Dominance – Dominant cats are the ones who always want to be first and try to run everything. You know the type. They may try to control everything in the house (food, toys, litter box). Dominant cats sometimes try to dominate the humans as well as other cats. They will chase the others, pick fights, try to make others move, steal food/toys, and generally be obnoxious. At the other end of the scale are the meek cats who are content to be at whatever level they find. One way to deal with a dominant cat is to make sure that there are enough water bowls, food dishes, litter boxes, etc. for everyone. Even the head cat can’t be everywhere at once.

Off Topic - Silly cat - Forum - Path of Exile

Impulsivity – Some cats seem to be unpredictable. One day, they will act one way and the next day completely different. One day they like something, the next day they don’t. These cats are usually high energy and may be a little anxious. Cats may be more impulsive when they are uncertain of their surroundings. Giving this type of cat some structure may help, like set feedings and playtime. Humans need to be extra calm around impulsive kitties to help lower their anxiety levels.

Top 10 Friendliest Cats - AZ Animals

Agreeableness –  This measures where you fall on the Nice to Unfriendly scale. Agreeable cats are nice – they get along with everyone, and are usually happy to give a cheerful hello, rub, or head bonk. Well-socialized, healthy kitties are usually nice kitties. A cat who is disagreeable or aggressive usually has been poorly socialized, poorly treated, or in pain. On the other hand, we all have bad days. (And sometimes humans are just annoying.)

Does Your Cat Still Need an Annual Exam? - Feline Medical Clinic

Obviously, we all have our own personalities. And there’s no such thing as a bad kitty. If you are interested in taking a Cat Personality Test, you can find the one from IDR Labs here.  It’s free and fun.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images