Category Archives: Animals

6

Trouble in Cheeseland – Part 3

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Where we are: Cheeseland Mayor Pauly Porcine’s Administration has been under fire ever Action 7 News uncovered City Manager Clayborn Coyote handing out no-bid contracts to his friends and business associates for City projects. Mayor Pauly had been forced to terminate Clayborn’s employment in the hopes that the whole thing would blow over. Rather than ending the issue, the citizens turned their anger on the mayor. A recall petition had gathered enough signatures to force a recall vote. Mayor Pauly has called a news conference for Friday afternoon.

Thomas Tabby, Liaison to the Humans, and his Communications Director, Sgt Stripes, were in his office discussing what has been going on prior to the press conference.’

Sgt Stripes: How’s Pauly doing?

Thomas: Not good. He really doesn’t understand why this is such a problem. He didn’t have anything to do with the contracts, and he got rid of the source of the problem.

Sgt Stripes: Seriously? He really doesn’t understand why everyone is upset?

Thomas: He thinks it’s because he’s a pig.

Sgt Stripes: What’s that got to do with anything?

Thomas: You know. Pigs and pork-barrel politics. He thinks it’s species-ism.

Sgt Stripes: I guess I never thought about that. Everyone I’ve talked to says the problem is that he’s in charge, so he should have known what was going on. Some folks don’t believe he didn’t know what was going on.

Thomas: I think the whole Tabocracy thing got under his skin. He thinks the cats are out to get him. He thinks I want his job. He’s really a little unglued about the whole thing.

Sgt Stripes: That’s crazy. We just think he’s a bad mayor.

Thomas: He’s gotten better since he hired Henrietta as his Chief of Staff. She is a really sharp hare. If she’d been here last year, we probably wouldn’t have had this mess.

Sgt Stripes: So what is he going to talk about this afternoon?

Thomas: He hasn’t really talked about it. The last I heard, he wants to appeal to the electorate. He still hopes they’ll give him another chance.

Sgt Stripes: I don’t really understand why he wants to be mayor. It sounds like a terrible job.

Thomas: No kidding. I was really excited to work at City Hall, but it’s awful. Someone is always telling you about what they think you should be doing.

There was a knock at the door.

Ginny Gnu: Okay, boys. It’s time for the big speech.

Thomas and Sgt Stripes joined the rest of the municipal staff on the steps of the City Hall. There is a crowd of animals in front of the building along with Angel Katt from Action 7 News and her crew. Shortly, Mayor Pauly and his Chief of Staff, Henrietta Hare, move to the Center. The City Council is off to the side.

Mayor Pauly: Good Afternoon, everyone. Things have been hectic lately, and I wanted to take the opportunity to reassure everyone that I have things under control.

Henrietta cleared her throat.

Mayor Pauly: Unfortunately, I can’t say that things are under control. The animals of Cheeseland are very unhappy with the direction we’ve been moving, and it’s my responsibility to address that. I would like to invite City Council President Gayle Gorilla to join me over here.

Gayle stood next to Pauly.

Mayor Pauly: I have come to the conclusion that my time as mayor needs to end. The matter of the no-bid contracts has taken over every conversation, and we can’t run the city like that. I am resigning effective immediately. It has been an honor to be your mayor, and I regret that it ends this way. Council President Gayle will outline what happens next.T

The animals waited in stunned silence. No one had expected things to end this way.

Gayle: Thank you, Mr. Mayor. According to the city charter, if the Mayor resigns, the City Council President will assume the responsibilities of city government until a new mayor is elected. The President will be assisted by the City Council in managing the day-to-day affairs of the city. I wasn’t notified until this morning that the mayor was going to resign, so we have agreed to a one-month transition of duties between the mayor’s staff and the City Council. We look forward to working with the other elected members of the government as we move forward. We ask for your patience as we move along this path.

As the audience starts applauding, Mayor Pauly returned inside with the other city workers.

All pictures generated by Gemini AI

12

Trouble in Cheeseladnd – Part 2

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Where we are: Cheeseland’s City Manager, Clayborn Coyote, has been accused of favoritism in awarding city contracts. The scandal is threatening to bring down Mayor Pauly Porcine’s government. Every day since Angel Katt broke the story on Action 7 News, residents have been picketing City Hall. City Council President Gayle Gorilla has called an emergency meeting with Mayor Pauly, his Chief-of-Staff Henrietta Hare, Clayborn, and the full City Council.

Gayle: Mr Mayor, how to do plan to handle this scandal?

Pauly: What scandal? Clayborn had some work to get down and he found animals he trusted to get it done.

Sheila Skunk: But they didn’t do it right.

Clayborn: Every job was completed on time and under budget.

Oscar Owl: I’ve been looking over the invoices for the pool work. I don’t see where there was a budget established prior to the start of the project.

Clayborn: I’ve known that guy for most of my life. I trusted his estimates would be appropriate.

Oscar: That’s not how government contracting works. You need to get competing bids. You’re working with other people’s money.

Pauly: I checked the numbers. He didn’t charge more than he said he would. And he finished early.

Harry Hedgehog: That’s great. Except he poisoned the water. Several young animals had a reaction to the chlorine in the water.

Clayborn: That was unfortunate. I didn’t realize that Larry usually worked with humans. They love that stuff in their pools.

Pauly: So what, exactly, is the point of this meeting? I’m a busy pig. I’m sure this will be forgotten in a few weeks.

Gayle: I’m afraid not, Mr Mayor. A few of the residents started a petition after our last meeting. They have enough signatures to hold a recall vote.

Pauly: They want to recall Clayborn? I didn’t realize that was possible,

Gayle: It’s not. He’s not an elected official.

Pauly looked at her, puzzled. Then he looked horrified.

Pauly: You don’t mean…

Gayle: I’m afraid so, sir. They are holding you responsible for your employee’s actions

Pauly: That’s ridiculous. I didn’t do anything wrong. No one has accused me of anything.

Gayle: They entrusted you with their city and don’t think you’re taking good care of it.

Pauly: Because a few kids got red eyes? We took care of the issue once it was brought to our attention.

Gayle: They don’t trust the city’s computer system anymore. Animals are refusing to pay their utility bills because they were being overcharged for everything.

Clayborn: That was a simple compilation error. Everything is fine now.

Gene Woodchuck: But. they. don’t. trust. the. data.

Clayborn: It will be fine in a couple of billing cycles.

Gene: The citizens don’t believe you. They want a new government.

Henrietta: What if Pauly fired Clayborn? Would that help?

Pauly: Why would I fire Clayborn?

Gayle: He broke the law.

Pauly looked around the room at the Council members. They were all nodding. Then he looked at Clayborn. Clayborn shrugged.

Pauly: I guess you gotta go, buddy. This is more serious than I realized.

Clayborn: No worries. I’ve got plenty of options.

Gayle called Security to escort Clayborn out of the building.

Pauly: So now we’re set, right? I can move on to more important things?

Gayle: I’m not sure what could be more important. Your constituents want you removed from office.

Pauly: Not now that I’ve fired Clayborn. He was the real problem.

Gayle: So you won’t consider resigning?

Pauly: Why would I resign? I took care of the problem.

Meanwhile, Clayborn was on the steps of City Hall, giving his version of what happened in the meeting.

Angel Katt: Clayborn, can you tell us what’s going on in the meeting?

Clayborn: The Mayor needed a scapegoat for everything that’s wrong with his Administration. Now I’m out of a job.

Angel: You were responsible for the no-bid contracts, weren’t you?

Clayborn: The Mayor hired me to get things done. And I got things done. That’s all I have to say.

Angel: Thank you for your time.

Next week: Has Pauly done enough to keep his job?

Pictures generated by Gemini AI.

6

Trouble in Cheeseland

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Cheeseland is buzzing about the scandal that is threatening to take down Mayor Pauly Porcine’s government. Mayor Pauly is not personally accused of any wrongdoing, but the City Manager, Clayborn Coyote, appears to be running a large-scale pay-to-play operation with city contractors.

We’re following the story on WCHZ 7 Action News.

 

Shirelle Sharpei: Good evening everyone. Welcome to Action 7 News at 11 pm. I’m Shirelle Sharpei.

Tyrone Tiger: And I’m Tyrone Tiger. Shirelle, we’ve got some big news on the Mayor Pauly story.

Shirelle: Indeed, we do, Tyrone. And first on the scene, as always, is Angel Katt. Angel, we hear there’s an update in the Mayor Pauly situation.

Angel: As you know, I’ve been working with an anonymous source inside the Administration to break this story. That animal told me that there was going to be an ad-hoc, closed-door City Council meeting tonight. It was closed to the public, but I’ve been speaking to several parties as they left the meeting. I have the footage for you.

The video starts with Angel standing with a microphone as several coyotes rush past her without stopping. She tries to get an answer, but they quickly move past her.

 

Gayle Gorilla, the City Council President, follows the coyotes out of City Hall.

Angel: Madame President, could I get a statement about what happened in there? The coyotes didn’t look happy.

Gayle: I imagine not. It appears that several contracts were awarded to friends of the City Manager without going through the required bidding process.

Angel: Can you tell me which projects were in question?

Gayle: I can’t get into specifics, but the impacted departments are Parks & Rec, Maintenance, and Communications.

Angel: Thank you, Madame President.

Angel returns to the live feed. An angry group of residents came out of City Hall.

Angel: Would any of you like to tell us what you thought of the meeting?

Brandy Bear: This is why I didn’t vote for that pig. I knew he’d be doing pork-barrel politics.

Angel: Did someone say Mayor Pauly was involved?

Brandy: It’s his administration. He should have known what was going on. I think we should get rid of them all.

Tyrone (from the studio): Angel, can you get an understanding of why folks seem to be so angry?

Angel: I think it might be related to the issues at the renovated swimming pool.

Ophelia Otter: That’s exactly why I’m so mad. My kids love to go to that pool. It’s the only one with real river water. I thought they were just doing routine maintenance.

Angel: What happened?

Ophelia: The first time we went back, my son Jeremy jumped right in. Then he jumped right back out, screaming that his eyes hurt. And he smelled weird.

Bonnie Beaver: Same thing with my kids. Someone had dumped chlorine in the pool.

Angel: Why would anyone put chlorine in a pool?

Ophelia: That idiot coyote hired someone who mainly works with humans. Apparently humans are so dirty, they have to bleach themselves when they get in a pool.

Angel: Eww! Are the kids okay?

Bonnie: Fortunately, we could go home and use the pond in the backyard.

Timothy: We got an electric bill from the City. It said we owed $200 for our electricity. All we use it for is our heating lamp. It used to be $15.

Shelley Sheep: We received a letter saying that our son was at risk of being expelled from school for truancy. Our son graduated last year.

Angel: What’s going on?

Timothy: They hired a firm to update the city’s communications systems. The company just moved all the data over in a massive dump, so now everything is confused and mixed up.

Shelley: I heard that they need to go back to the old data and start over. Hopefully, nothing was lost.

Suddenly, Mayor Pauly walks through the crowd and pushes the camera aside.

Pauly: That’s enough for tonight. We’re handling the issues.

Angel: Mr Mayor, how are you going to address the allegations?

Pauly: Accusations. That’s exactly what they are. No one has proven anything.

Ophelia: My child jumped into a pool full of chlorine.

Pauly: We’re looking into it. It might have been a mistake by a new employee.

Angel: Mr Mayor…

Pauly: I said this was over.

Pauly pushes his way through the crowd as Angel wraps up her microphone.

Shirelle: Well, that was abrupt.

Tyrone: Everyone, remember to follow this breaking story on WCHZ7.com and come back here to follow what Angel learns.

Next week: What will happen to Pauly and Clayborn?

(Ed. Note – Cat is finally healthy and will be back to reading your posts. Thank you for your patience.)

All pictures generated by Gemini AI

18

Keep Your Paws Off My Hedge – Part 2

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(Ed. Note – Due to a glitch in the Tags last week, the post did not show up in the live feed until late Saturday afternoon last week. It looks like that kept some of you from seeing the post at all. Part 2 will make a lot more sense if you look at Part 1 here before reading this post. We apologize for any inconvenience.)

Where we are: Ian and Janis Hedgehog’s hedge is going to be torn down due to being described as “blighted”. All of the creatures who share the hedge/brush pile are devastated. They are counting on Ian to convince the head of zoning, Chester Allen, that they should be allowed to stay.

Ian and Janis were up early Monday morning.

Janis: How are you going to handle talking to Chester?

Ian: I’ve been looking through the zoning regulations. It appears that “blight” is only mentioned in Part IV of the document. The section on the notice is for IV.3.c. It does say that brush piles are considered blight. But directly below that, IV.3.d says the rule doesn’t apply to properties over 2 acres or owned by native non-humans.

Janis: I don’t know about the size of the property, but it’s owned by foxes who are definitely native.

Ian: Wish me luck. Hopefully, Chester will listen to reason.

Janis: As soon as you tell him why the rule doesn’t apply to us, we’ll be fine.

When he got to work, Ian discussed the situation with a few of his coworkers. He showed the regulations to the group.

Gus Gopher: It looks pretty well defined. You should be okay.

Adam Anteater: You should look up the paperwork the foxes had to file when their bought the property so he doesn’t try to tell you that someone else owns it.

Ian: I hadn’t thought about it. That’s a great idea.

Cate Calico: I had to work with Chester on one of my cases. He’s not the brightest bulb in the chandelier. And he’s kind of stubborn.

Gus: I think all badgers are stubborn. Once they have an idea, it’s hard to move them.

Ian decided that he would start with an email detailing why the ordinance didn’t apply to Commerce Commons.

Chester’s reply was short and to the point. “The ordinance defines brush piles as blight. We are going to remove the brush pile at the end of thirty days.”

Ian: I can’t believe this guy! He didn’t even respond to the part of it being owned by foxes. He just doesn’t like the brush pile.

Cate: I was afraid of that. Someone got to him before you did, and now he hates brush piles. He probably didn’t care one way or the other before that.

Gus: He most likely has brush piles in his neighborhood and never paid any attention until now. What are you going to do?

Ian: I need to talk to him. I’ll call so I can explain our position.

Ian tried to call Chester several times over the next few days. He left messages but got no response. By Friday, he’d had enough. Ian decided to stop by Town Hall on his way to work. He arrived before everyone else and waited. When they opened the door, he told the receptionist Suzy that he was waiting for Chester Allen.

Suzy: Is Mr Allen expecting you?

Ian: Not really. I’ve been trying to talk to him all week.

Suzy: Oh. Are you…

Ian: Yes, I am Ian Hedgehog, and I need to speak with Chester.

Suzy: Mr Allen is very busy. I’m sure he’ll call you back as soon as he has a moment.

Just then a badger and a couple of beavers came in discussing their golf game the previous afternoon. The badge saw Ian waiting. He immediately picked up his pace. Ian followed him to his office.

Ian: Good Morning, Chester. I’m Ian Hedgehog. I need to speak with you, and it seems that you have been ignoring my calls. I thought this might be the only way to catch you.

Chester: I think I was clear. Brush piles are blight and yours has to go.

Ian: What about everyone living there?

Chester: That’s not really my concern. There are plenty of spots nearby.

Ian: Spoken by someone who lives underground. Why is this brush pile so important to you?

Chester: It’s unsightly, and there may be vermin living there.

Ian: Vermin? That’s a human word not an animal word. You’re doing it for the humans, aren’t you? No self-respecting animal would ever use that word.

Chester: It’s a good word. Besides, that’s not the point. The brush pile is prohibited under the regulations.

Ian: We are exempt because it’s animal-owned.

Chester: You’re making those words carry a lot of weight trying to get around the rules.

Ian: Because they’re the law! I’ve been working at JJ Gorilla and Associates for several years. In court, it’s always what’s in writing.

Chester: You work for an attorney?

Ian: Actually, several of them.

Chester: I don’t want to go to court.

Ian: I don’t want to lose my home.

Chester: You’re not going to back down, are you?

Ian: I am not.

Chester: Maybe we can find some common ground.

Ian: What common ground? You want to destroy our homes.

Chester: Maybe you could move to a bigger, nicer brush pile further from the road?

Ian: Where will that come from?

Chester (thinking): Did you see the beavers who came in with me? They run Parks & Rec, and they are really good with building. We can take down the old brush pile and build something even better with it.

Ian (suspicious): Why would you do that?

Chester: I have to tear it down. But we have some interns who can help you rebuild it, bigger and better.

Ian: I guess that would work.

All pictures created by Gemini AI.

13

Keep Your Paws Off My Hedge

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Ian and Janis Hedgehog moved into Commerce Commons about a year ago. It was a small community of hedge-loving creatures: rabbits, small snakes, mice, and a variety of insects.

Coming home one day, Ian saw a notice at the end of the brush pile he called home. It appeared that someone had complained about the “blight” at Commerce Commons and was saying that it had to go. Ian called out to Janis.

;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;.

Ian: Janis! Did you see this sign?

Janis: Yes, I did. Isn’t it terrible? We all think it came from a human. I don’t understand why a human would care about our home. No humans live here. And they don’t own the property.

Ian: I don’t know either, but I’m going to get to the bottom of it.

Janis: Everyone is really upset. We’re all going to meet tomorrow night to talk it over. In the meantime, we all have assignments. We’re supposed to find out who this person is who wants to make us move.

Ian: How did we get such a tough assignment?

Janis: That’s a silly question. You’re a researcher at the best law firm around here.

Ian: I guess it won’t be too hard to research a human. Let me see what I can find.

The next evening when Ian came home the Commons was abuzz with angry critters. He had not realized how many beetles and snails lived in “Bug Town” at the other end of the wood pile. There were ground beetles, lady beetles, and tiger beetles. A big fluffy squirrel came up to him and Janis and started talking very fast.

Jess: Hi! My name is Jessica, but you can call me Jess. I organized tonight’s meeting. It’s just awful what they’re trying to do to you. I think it’s a crime. I really do. And who are you? I know I’ve seen you around the yard.

Janis: Hello. I’m Janis, and this is Ian. We live in that space (points to an opening in the branches. I don’t mean to be rude, but why is a squirrel organizing all of this? You don’t live in either the hedge or the brush pile.

Jess: That is an excellent question. I am not at all offended. It does seem that it should be run by one of you, doesn’t it? Truth of the matter is, I saw how upset everyone was and had to do something. I asked who was in charge of the protest, and everyone looked at me like I was off my nut, so to speak.

Ian: Who did you want to protest against?

Jess: Whoever put up that sign. That human, Chester Allen. That’s why I’m so excited you’re here. Phoebe the mouse said you worked for an attorney and might be able to look him up. Did you find anything?

Ian: I did some research and…

Jess (breaking in): Everyone! Hello! Everyone! Come over here. Ian has information about Chester Allen.

The rabbits, mice, voles, reptiles, and insects moved closer and quieted down.

Ian: Hello, everyone. I did find out who Chester Allen is. He works for the local government as a property inspector. He’s the guy who makes sure everyone is following the rules regarding what can and cannot be on the property.

Emma Mouse: Is he a human?

Ian: No, he’s a badger.

Emma: A badger is throwing us out? (She points.) We have a couple of badgers living over there. Lovely animals.

Bob Bunny: And this Hedge has been here for years. We’ve worked very hard to get the brush pile to look this good. Why is it a problem now?

Ian: I thought it was very odd too. So I called a guy I know at Town Hall and asked him to look into it.

Jess: Any luck?

Ian: He says that Chester’s a pretty decent guy, but he likes to take the path of least resistance. Pretty much responds to whoever makes the most noise.

Bob: So, who’s making the noise?

Ian: My guy said he didn’t want to get in trouble, but it was one of our neighbors. A human neighbor.

Jess: I should have known. It’s the jerk who’s putting in the golf course down the road.

Victor Vole: How does he even know we’re here? It’s not like we’re on the main road.

Jess: According to the Squirrel Network, he’s been going around the neighborhood looking for things that don’t meet his approval.

Roxanne Rabbit: I did some research too. That definition of blight doesn’t apply unless the property is owned by humans. All of the land around here belongs to a holding company owned by a confederation of foxes.

Sally Salamander: This is just ridiculous. We need to refuse to move.

Victor: Won’t that be dangerous?

Jess: It might be. Particularly if Chester allows the human onto our property.

Ian: We should talk to Chester and tell him the rules don’t apply to us. He sounds like someone who can be reasonable.

Jess: Maybe you could ask one of your attorneys for advice.

Ian: Let me think everything through before I call.

Next week: Can Chester be reasoned with?

18

June and the Bears’ Camping Trip – Part 3

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Where we are: June Longfur went on a camping trip with her best friends, Ilsa and Heather McBear, and their parents. The first evening went well, but when Mummy and Daddy McBear wake up, the girls are gone. You can read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

Mummy: Where could they have gone?

Daddy: I’m sure they’re fine. We’ve taught them how to get around in the woods.

Mummy: What if the humans took them?

Daddy: Do you really think humans could take two bear cubs and a kitten without us hearing?

Mummy: I guess not. Where do you think they are?

Daddy is sniffing around the campsite. He straightens up and points into the woods.

Daddy: They went that way into the woods.

Mummy: I wonder why.

They follow the trail for several minutes before Mummy stops.

Mummy: Do you hear that? To the right.

Daddy listens, then starts to run toward the sound with Mummy right behind him. They finally reach June who is crying inconsolably. Mummy picks her up and cuddles her.

Mummy: What happened, sweetie? Are you okay?

June still can’t talk. Daddy comes back with Ilsa and Heather.

Mummy: Why is June so upset?

Ilsa: She had a really bad night.

Heather: We thought she was going to be bird-napped.

Mummy: Bird-napped?

June: It was awful. I was so scared.

Daddy: What happened? Why were you all the way out here?

June started to cry again.

Heather: We didn’t start out here. June said that she needed to use the litter box, so we went a little way from camp. But as soon as she was finished…

Ilsa: A huge owl swooped down and tried to grab her.

Mummy: Poor kitty. That must have been terrifying.

June nodded and snuggled against Mummy.

Daddy: Why didn’t the owl take her?

Ilsa: We heard it swooping in.

Heather: We remembered what you taught us about defending ourselves.

Ilsa: We stood up on our back legs and got as big as we could. As soon as the owl was close enough, we swatted it from both sides.

Heather: That bird didn’t know what hit it. Before he could recover, we grabbed June and hid in the woods.

Daddy: That was quick thinking, girls. Excellent job!

Heather: Thanks, Daddy!

Daddy: Everyone ready to go back to camp?

The girls all nodded. June clung to Mommy as they walked back. Mummy set June down in her fluffy bed.

Mummy: You girls had a rough night. Why don’t you take a nap while Daddy and I catch breakfast?

Ilsa and Heather slept next to June’s bed. Before they knew it, they were smelling grilled fish.

June: That smells wonderful.

Mummy: Thank you! Are you feeling better?

June: I am! That was very scary, but I feel safe now.

Daddy: Do you want to go home?

Ilsa: Why would she want to leave?

Daddy: I thought she might be scared and want to sleep at home tonight.

June: I want to stay, if it’s not too much trouble. Ilsa and Heather were amazing last night. I’ve never seen a bird that big.

Daddy: Of course, you can stay. Just wake us up if you need to go out in the dark. We’ll keep you safe.

June: I promise.

They took a hike in the woods, then spent the rest of the day at the beach.

Heather: Come in the water, June. It’s nice and warm.

June: I don’t really like water. It makes my fur look weird. And I can’t swim.

Ilsa: We could teach you.

June: No thanks. Water’s not really a cat thing.

Heather: That’s too bad. Let’s build a sandcastle.

Mummy and Daddy were having a lot of fun splashing in the lake. When the castle was done, the girls went to rinse off the sand in the lake. June gingerly put her paws in.

June: That’s not so bad.

Ilsa: You’ll dry off fast in the sun. We can help you fluff up, if you’d like.

The last part of the trip passed quickly. Before she knew it, the McBears were dropping June off at home. June couldn’t stop talking about her great time camping with the bears. Ilsa and Heather became the most popular girls in the class.

(Ed Note – We apologize for not getting around to everyone’s posts this week. We are working through them.)

All pictures generated by Gemini AI.

26

June and the Bears’ Camping Trip – Part 2

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Where we are: Ilsa and Heather McBear have invited their kitten friend June on a family camping weekend in the woods. You can read the beginning of the story here. About 4p on Friday, June Longfur hear a car pull into the driveway.

(Not sure where the extra cub came from)

June: Papa! They’re here! Bring my stuff, please!

Papa comes into the room with a large bag. He opens the door and waves to Daddy McBear. June runs past him to the car.

Ilsa: Daddy! Daddy! Open the door so June can get in.

Angus McBear gets out of the car and opens the door to the back seat. June jumps in, and they start chattering as if they hadn’t left school together an hour before. Matilda McBear smiles at them from the front seat. Angus turns to Papa Longfur.

Daddy: Here, let me take that from you. Oof. What’s in there, bricks?

Papa: I’m sorry. I know that you said you’d take care of everything except June’s bed. But my wife was concerned that cats are really different from bears, and you wouldn’t know how to feed her or keep her busy all the time. This is a huge improvement from where we started. She originally had two bigger bags packed.

Daddy McBear laughed as he threw the bag in the back.

Daddy: Don’t worry. June will be safe with us. We’ll be back before dinner on Sunday.

Papa: Have fun, Princess. Be sure you listen to the McBears.

June: Bye, Papa! I’ll see you Sunday!

They arrived at the campsite around dinnertime. June had never seen so many trees. She wasn’t sure she liked the forest, but she tried to be brave.

Mummy: Why don’t you girls go explore while Daddy and I set up the camp. Since we don’t have any fish yet, I’m making burgers. How would you like yours, June?

June looked confused and didn’t say anything.

Ilsa: She means, do you eat meat raw or cooked?

June: Mama says that raw meat is for feral cats. May I have it cooked?

Mummy: Of course, sweetie. We can eat it either way. Ilsa, Heather – show June how we collect wood, please.

They grabbed a cloth from the trunk and run toward the wood. June races after them. They stop after a few minutes.

Heather: This looks like a good place.

They spread out the cloth and start putting sticks in it. June watches them.

June: I don’t think I can help. I need all of my paws for standing.

Heather: That’s okay. You can look for sticks and stand by them.

It didn’t take long to fill the cloth with sticks. Each cub grabbed two corners to hold the sticks in place.

Ilsa: Want a ride, June?

June: I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’ll make it too heavy.

Heather: No, you won’t. We’re strong.

June jumped on and rode back to camp like royalty. Mummy and Daddy laughed when they saw her.

Daddy: That’s one way to make sure she didn’t get lost.

June jumped down and looked around. There was a fire pit and shelter. A large basket held food. Fishing supplies were propped against a tree. The back of the car was open, and June could see more food. It looked like mainly snacks. She could see her fluffy bed under the shelter.

June: I thought you were supposed to hang your food from trees when you camp?

The bears looked at each other.

Daddy: Do you know why they say that?

June: I guess it stays fresher that way with no refrigerator.

The bears relaxed and laughed.

Mummy: No, that’s a human thing. They think bears won’t touch their food if they hang it up.

June: I thought you guys could climb trees.

Ilsa: We can. Since the humans are in our space, some bears think they have a right to the humans’ food.

Heather: I don’t really like it unless it’s berries or something.

Daddy: Don’t worry, June. Our food is safe; even your kitty kibble.

Dinner was delicious. The McBears put some kind of honey sauce on their burgers. June tried some, but it stuck to her paws and face. Definitely not cat-friendly. Soon it was getting dark.

Daddy: Who wants a marshmallow roasted?

Heather: I do!

Isla: I do!

Daddy: How about you, June?

June: What’s a marshmallow?

Heather: It’s a white cube kinda thing. They’re really sweet. Bears love them.

Isla: And raccoons.

June: I don’t really like sweet things.

Heather: You can try a bite of mine.

She took a bite and handed the rest to June. June tried to bite it, but it got in here long fur. Why did bears eat so many sticky things?

June: Ugh. Thanks, but I’ll just watch.

The bears and June sat around the fire telling scary stories. June didn’t get scared. She was sure the bears would protect her. Besides, she really didn’t understand a lot of the stories. They were mainly about humans, and she didn’t know any humans.

Daddy: Okay. We’ve all had a long day. Time for bed.

The bears all chose spots under the shelter. Everyone else slept on the ground, but June was happy in her fluffy bed between the girls. They were a short distance from the adult bears.

Mummy woke up when the sun rose. She poked Daddy to get him up too. They needed to fish for breakfast. As they walked past the girls, Mummy looked over. No one was there.

Mummy: They’re gone! My babies are gone! Humans must have taken them. What should we do?

Daddy: I doubt humans took them.

Mummy: They’re so cute! Of course, humans took them. They always grab cute animals.

Daddy: Matilda, calm down. We need to look around. They probably just wandered off.

Next week: Where did they go?

All pictures generated with Gemi

16

June and the Bears’ Camping Trip

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The McBear family had moved into a quiet, mixed-species neighborhood the previous year. Angus T McBear was a large, friendly black bear. However, his size had caused some discomfort at first.

He and his wife Matilda had enrolled their daughters, Ilsa and Heather in the local school. Being the only bears in the school, it took a while for the other animals to become friendly. The one exception was June Longfur. She had a plush Teddy Bear that she loved, and wanted to get to know the “real teddy bears” in her class.

Within a few weeks, the three friends were inseparable at school. They all loved the fish sticks in the cafeteria. They ran around and played hide-and-seek at lunch and recess. Junes’s cat friends were still afraid of the bears, but they let Ilsa and Heather sit at their table.

One morning Ilsa and Heather came to school very excited.

Ilsa: June! June!

Heather: Guess what? We have something to tell you, and it’s totally pawsome!

 

The bear cubs started talking over each other. June was having trouble understanding what either one was saying. Finally, they slowed down.

Heather: “… and Daddy said we could invite you!

June: Invite me to what?

Ilsa: Our next camping weekend. It’s going to be so much fun!

June: What’s camping? Is it a bear thing?

Ilsa and Heather looked at each other. It hadn’t occurred to them that cats might not camp.

Heather: Don’t cats go out into the woods and sleep outside?

Ilsa: And swim and fish and explore?

June: I don’t think so. None of my friends do. I think cats go for more spa-like vacations. You know, lying on the beach or something.

Ilsa: You should try camping. It’s a lot of fun. And it’s the first time Daddy has let us invite anyone.

June: It does sound like fun, but I’ll have to ask my parents.

That evening, June asked her parents if they had ever gone camping.

Mama: You mean go sleep in the open where all the uncivilized animals are?

Papa: It’s not really a cat thing. If I can sleep in a bed in a nice house, why wouldn’t I?

June: Ilsa and Heather said it’s a lot of fun. They get to catch their own fish.

Mama: Ilsa and Heather? Aren’t those the bears that moved in a few months ago?

June: Yes. They’re like real, living teddy bears. They’re my best friends. And they asked me to go camping with them.

Mama: I don’t think that’s a good idea. We don’t really know anything about them. Maybe they’re setting a trap so they can eat you.

June: Papa, tell her they’re not going to eat me. They’re black bears. They don’t eat cats.

Papa: That’s generally true. But we don’t know what they’d do if they were starving.

June: They’re not starving. They live in our neighborhood.

Mama: You’re probably right. I was walking past their house a few days ago. They look like they’re already getting ready for hibernation, if you know what I mean.

June: Mama! That’s just what healthy bears look like. May I go? It’s only one weekend.

Papa: We need to meet these bears. I’m not letting anyone have my princess if I don’t know them.

Mama: Let’s go over there now. They won’t be able to trick us if we surprise them.

The McBears live a few streets over. Mama and Papa spend the travel time imagining how uncivilized their house would be inside. The outside looked nice. Papa knocked on the door.

Angus: Hello. May I help you?

Papa: I’m Jonathan Longfur and this is my wife Cybal. We’re June’s parents. She’s a friend of your daughters.

Angus: Pleased to meet you. I’m glad we finally get to meet the marvelous June. The girls can’t stop talking about her.

Angus turns around and yells.

Angus: Ilsa! Heather! Guess who came to visit.

The girls came running out. June is overwhelmed by a group hug. Angus turns to her parents.

Angus: Please excuse my manners The girls have been having trouble making friends in their new school, and June has been extremely kind. You have no idea how excited the girls are to have her join us in the woods. Won’t you please come in?

Mama and Papa look at each other. This was not the reception they were expecting. The front room was immaculate. The furniture was bear-sized, but otherwise perfectly normal. A bear appeared from the kitchen with a tray.

Matilda: Hello. I’m Matilda, the girls’ mother. I hope you like catmint tea. Heather insisted I get it in case you came over. I have honey from my hives too, if you’d like some.

Mama: That is so kind. Thank you. I’m Cybal by the way. Your house is lovely.

Matilda: Thank you. It’s so nice of you to stop by. It seems that some of our neighbors are afraid of us. One little hedgehog told Ilsa that her mother wouldn’t let her play with them because the mother was afraid we might eat her. Can you imagine?

Mama: I guess animals might be afraid of what they don’t know.

Papa: Speaking of which – we don’t know the first thing about camping. Will June be safe? Are there predators out there that might hurt her?

Angus: Speaking as a rather large bear, I’ve never had a problem. I promise that I will not let anything happen to June.

Mama and Papa looked at each other.

Papa: Then you can count her in. Let us know what we should send with her.

The girls had been listening from a corner of the room. They started yelling and dancing.

All pictures were generated by Gemini AI.

17

Cheeseland Day Camp – Parents Day

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The campers at Camp Muckamac had been working hard all week getting their skits ready for their parents The plan was for the parents to arrive after lunch on Friday and take the young animals home after the program.

It’s finally Friday, and everyone is very excited. There was a hike in the morning followed by cleaning. Finally, it was time for the skits. They always held the end-of-camp gathering in the Chow Hall in case of bad weather.

Ms Kimmy: Hello, everyone! In case I haven’t met anyone, I’m Ms Kimmy, director of Camp Muckamac. I’ve had the pleasure of being with your children for the past two weeks, and I’ve really had a good time. We didn’t have to send anyone home for not following the rules, and there were no major medical emergencies.

The parents applauded. The campers, who were sorted into their skit groups, looked at Ms Cate. They were waiting for the signal that it was time to start.

Ms Cate (whispering): Not yet. She needs to introduce the counselors first.

All of the counselors, except Ms Cate, lined up behind Ms Kimmy. Ms Kimmy introduced them one-by-one to continued applause. After they were introduced, they went back to the campers.

Ms Kimmy: Now it’s time for our program. Let’s give a big welcome to the first group: Mr Arthur and Forest Safety.

Two young raccoons run in with a banner saying, “Forest Safety.” They stand at the back of the stage. A kitten and a guinea pic walk onto the stage. They take turns reading from a paper.

Kitten: The forest is a wonderful, magical place, but you need to respect it.

Guinea Pig: Yes, you should always pay attention to where you are.

A group of young animals run onto the stage and stop. They start looking around.

Puppy: Do you guys know where we are?

Goat: Not really. We made a lot of turns.

Lamb: It’s kind of dark in here. I don’t like it. I want to go home.

Groundhog: Me too. I’m getting hungry.

Puppy: Should we blow the whistle?

Bear Cub: Don’t be a loser. We’re not lost. I live around here.

Hedgehog: So, which way do we go?

Bear Cub (pointing): That way.

A couple of minutes later.

Bear Cub: I don’t think this is right.

Kitten: I’m hungry.

Bear Cub: Just eat some berries.

Puppy: Wait a minute. Are those safe to eat?

Kitten: I don’t think so. Besides, cats don’t eat berries.

Puppy: That’s it. I’m blowing the whistle.

Two rabbits come out with an easel saying to always know where you are, don’t eat anything you don’t know, and bring something to help others find you if you get lost.

The audience applauded. The young animals bow, collect a few flowers that were thrown, and run off the stage.

Two young wolves run in with a banner saying, “Forest Foods and Medicine.” They stand at the back of the stage. Two meerkats walk on stage with a piece of paper. Mr Joseph stands at the side of the stage.

Meerkat 1: The last group talked about being safe in the forest. We agree you shouldn’t be careless.

Meerkat 2: But if you study the forest, it’s full of tasty things and things that can make you feel better.

A group of young animals come out dressed to forage.

Young Goat: First, you need to know what is dangerous to your species.

Puppy: We can’t eat onions or garlic.

Kitten: Us either.

Bear Cub: But for me wild leeks are delicious.

Young Goat: Pretty much anyone can eat dandelions.

Groundhog: And you can eat almost all of it. Starting with the leaves. They make a delicious salad.

Hedgehog: Did you know you can make wine from the flowers and a hot drink from the roots?

Capybara: You can add broadleaf plantain to your salad or cook them for a side dish.

Lamb: Ostrich Fern can be added to the salad or cooked too. I wonder if anyone cooks them with Broadleaf Plantain.

Bear Cub: Don’t forget wild berries. They are delicious!

Alpaca: Broadleaf Plantain can be used as a poultice for wounds and insect bites.

Kitten: Yarrow can be used for wounds and fevers. It’s not poisonous, but don’t eat too much.

Gopher: We can’t forget all the mushrooms that are safe to eat: morels, chanterelle, hen-of-the-woods, oyster, golden oyster, chicken-of-the-woods, and giant puffball.

A puppy walks in with a sign, “Know what you are eating.”

Kitten: That’s all for us. But we want to invite Mr Joseph out here for a surprise.

Mr Joseph had been whispering with Ms Cate at the side of the stage. Her group was going to do a skit about the Teddy Bears’ Picnic as soon as the current skit was over. Mr Joseph walked out onto the stage.

Kitten: We didn’t know how much Mr Joseph knew about native plants. We had a really good idea, and he helped us do it.

Everyone clapped although no one understood what was going on. The group left the stage. Two young foxes walked out with a banner the said, “Teddy Bears Picnic.” The stood at the back of the stage. A badger walked out and read from a piece of paper.

Badger: There is a song called “The Teddy Bears’ Picnic.” We thought it would be fund to do a skit about a picnic.

A group of small animals came onto the stage carrying picnic baskets and blankets. They spread the blankets on the ground and started to open the picnic baskets.

Lamb: What food did we bring on our picnic, Mama?

Sheep: I’m not sure. I didn’t pack it.

The audience laughed.

Squirrel: That’s weird. My basket is empty.

Ms Cate was not amused. They had rehearsed an entire skit that was not centered on food.

Voice from Offstage: Hello? Hello? Did someone order picnic food? I have an order for a party of teddy bears.

Bear Cub: I didn’t order any food, but I’m a bear.

Voice: That’s good enough for me.

Suddenly, the stage was full of small animals carrying salads, bowls of berries, pots of honey, and other foods. Ms Cate was very confused. Mr. Joseph explained what was happening.

Mr Joseph: The kitten in my group is friends with the kitten in your group. Some of the older campers thought it would be funny to see what happened if they switched up the skit. Sort of a senior prank. The others didn’t agree. My group wanted to help, so they asked if we could actually gather what we were talking about.

Ms Cate: They did an amazing job.

Kitten: Ms Cate, would you please come out.

Ms Cate walked out, trying to avoid the munching animals. There was a group of animals holding bouquets of catnip.

Kitten: We all wanted to thank you for everything you’ve done for our program.

They handed her the bouquets, and Ms Cate walked offstaghe.

Ms Kimmy: I’m not happy that a few campers decided to change things around without telling anyone, but all’s well that ends well. It looks like there is still a lot of food if anyone wants some.

Ed Note: The plants referenced are native to Michigan forests.

21

Cheeseland Day Camp – Week 2

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Everyone made it through the first week of day camp. The campers made sand castles and sand candles. They had learned camp songs and how to tie knots. They had been on hikes in the woods and learned how to make simple shelters.

The session on forest plants had been a little rough. No matter how many times the leaders said, “Look but don’t touch.” someone always tried to touch. It wasn’t too bad, except when Felice (a Golden Retriever) got a poison ivy rash on her muzzle. Her brother said she had too much fur to worry about that. He was wrong.

There was also Julius (a bear cub) who ate some nightshade berries because he thought they were a different kind of blueberry. Luckily someone saw him do it and stopped him before he ate them all. He had a very uncomfortable afternoon but was fine by the time his mother picked him up.

 

On the second Monday of camp, everyone was gathered in the Chow Hall.

Ms Kimmy: Welcome back to Camp Muckamac. I’m glad to see you all again. I think we had a very good first week. Did your parents like the crafts we sent home?

Joachim: My mom says we need to use better glue. My macaroni heart fell apart as soon as we got home and some birds ate it.

Ms Kimmy: That is unfortunate.

Kenzie: My sister really liked the friendship bracelet I made for her. Unfortunately, the dumb dog that lives next door got it and ate it. Then he got sick and threw it up.

Benny: Maybe dogs aren’t dumb. Maybe cats are dumb for leaving their stuff laying around.

Kenzie: I didn’t say dogs are dumb. I said that dog is dumb. But I do think dogs are dumber than cats.

Benny: They are not. Dogs are smarter than everyone.

Petunia: That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Pigs are smarter than both of you.

Ms Kimmy: Okay. That’s enough. Let’s keep things moving. I want to talk about Parents Day at the end of the week. We have something special planned that we are going to work on every afternoon. Ms. Cate has some very special talents that she is going to share with you. She has experience in the theater.

Ms Cate: Hello everyone. We thought it would be fun to put on a couple of skits for your parents.

Ms Kimmy: Doesn’t that sounds like fun?

The young animals look at each other. Finally, a small voice speaks up.

Nikki: Ms Kimmy, what’s a skit?

Ms Cate: Skits are like short plays, and they are usually not too serious. I was thinking about dividing you up into three groups. The first group will be led by Mr Arthur, and it would be about forest safety. The second group will be led by Mr Joseph and would be about what kinds of foods and medicines are in the forest. I will lead the third group. I have two ideas: either what happens when you don’t communicate on a walk through the forest or something to do with The Teddy Bears’ Picnic.

Campers (very loudly): The Teddy Bears’ Picnic.

Kimmy (whispering to Mr Joseph): Did she really think they wouldn’t take teddy bears?

Ms Cate: Okay! We have our skits. Let’s divide you up into groups.

Ms Cate stayed at the front of the room. Mr Arthur and Mr Joseph each took one of the back corners. The other camp counselors were split between the groups The campers were split into three groups.

Ms Kimmy: Okay, everyone. Take a few minutes to discuss your skit before we get started on today’s activity. We’re going to learn how to not get lost in the woods.

An Adult Voice: We probably should have done that last Monday. It would have saved campers getting lost on the way to the latrine.

In one corner:

Mr Arthur: Hello, campers. We are going to act out what happens when someone breaks a safety rule. Any ideas?

Charmaine: I know! Don’t touch anything you can’t identify.

Jillian: Don’t eat anything you can’t identify.

Max: If you’re in a strange place, don’t wander off alone.

Steve: Don’t go in the water by yourself.

Mr Arthur: Those are all excellent points. We can start working on them right after lunch.

In another corner.

Mr Joseph: What are some of the things in the forest that are good to eat?

Helene: Berries!

Jackson: Mushrooms!

Clive: Insects!

Mr Joseph: That’s very good. And there are also many kinds of plants that you can use for a stomachache, a headache or other problems. We can talk about it more this afternoon.

At the front of the room. 

Ms Cate: I was thinking that we could put on a little play about the teddy bears getting ready to go on their picnic.

Hazel: What kind of food will we have?

Ms Cate: This is make-believe. There won’t be any real food.

Maria: It won’t be a picnic if there isn’t real food.

Ms Cate: It isn’t really about food. It’s about the teddy bears going out and having fun while the humans are busy.

Maria: How can they have fun if there isn’t any food?

Jesse: We definitely need food. What kinds of games are we going to play?

Ms Cate: We’re not going to play real games. It’s not a real picnic. We’re just pretending so your parents can see how much fun you’re having at Camp Muckamac.

Maria: It won’t be any fun if there are any food or games.

All pictures generated by Gemini AI.