21

Tuesday Morning Catnip Anonymous (CA) Meeting

Catnip memes | StareCat.com

Pete was nervous. It was his first time at a CA meeting. He wasn’t even sure he belonged. He was really more of a silver vine guy. He got a cup of tuna juice and sat near the back of the room. There were quite a few cats already waiting. By the time the meeting started, there were almost 20 participants. Pete had no idea there were so many cats with ‘nip problems.

Leader: Welcome, kitties! We’re glad to see so many of you here. A couple of new faces and a couple that we haven’t seen for a bit. Would anyone like to start us off?

Two Cats Cuddling | Holistic Vet and Pet Nutrition Journal

Jonah: Hi, I’m Jonah. And I’m addicted to catnip.

Group: Hi, Jonah!

Jonah: I’ve had a pretty good week. I met a girl named Tina at the fish market. We went for a walk. I think she likes me.

Leader (nodding): That’s great, Jonah! Did you have any nip issues?

Jonah: No, it was great. She never touches the stuff.

No, Cats Should Never Drink Wine or Beer - Catster

Leader: Who’s next?

Sarah: I’m Sarah. And I’m addicted to catnip.

Group: Hi, Sarah!

Sarah: I finally broke up with my boyfriend, Tim. He was a really bad influence. He kept insisting that niptinis weren’t the same as eating catnip. I told him that all catnip is a problem for me. He really isn’t supportive, so I decided to move back home.

The other cats clapped for her.

Is Catnip a Cat Drug? - Meowy Janes

Mel: Hi, I’m Mel and I’m addicted to catnip.

Group: Hi, Mel!

Mel: This is my first time here. I went to a party on Saturday night and woke up under the table. I decided that it was time to get my habit under control.

Leader: Welcome, Mel. We’re here for you. I’ll help you find a mentor and get started on the program. Let’s take a short break.

The leader took Mel aside and introduced him to a couple of other cats. The remaining cats got up and wandered around. A large cat walked up to Pete.

10 Cat Breeds That Are the Most Affectionate

Cat: Hey, I’m Carl. I haven’t seen you here before.

Pete: Hey. I’m Pete. It’s my first time. I’m a little nervous.

Carl: Don’t worry about it. we’ve all been there. What brings you in?

Pete: Honestly, I’m here because I told my wife I’d come. She had a bag of ‘nip that I got into.

Carl: One time? That doesn’t sound so bad.

Pete: That’s what I thought.

Carl: Was it a lot?

9GAG Cute - Cats high on catnip is my favorite thing By... | Facebook

Pete: She got it for a party.

Carl: Oh. A big party?

Pete: It was for a weekend away. It probably wouldn’t have been an issue except I kind of fell asleep in the middle of the table.

Carl: Oh.

Pete: And I might have gotten a little testy when she tried to move me.

Carl: Oh.

Pete: And I got really agitated when I saw some flashing lights. I might have growled a little.

Carl: Oh. But it was just the one time?

Our And Our Neighbor's Cats Found Catnip And Cat.exe Stopped Functioning  (30 Pics) | Bored Panda

Pete: Pretty much. Except when we walked past the lady’s garden, and I refused to leave.

Carl: What lady?

Pete: A human in our neighborhood grows catnip for the local cats. She gives it away. I don’t think she minded that I moved in for a couple of days. My wife said I embarrassed her.

Carl: Well, if it was intended for everyone….

Pete: I only stayed a couple of days. She didn’t have any real food. I had to go home to eat. My wife thinks I have a problem.

Can Cats Eat Catnip? Here's What You Should Know About the Herb

Carl: Ummmm.

Pete: I’m not really sure I belong here. Talking about it, I think I just had a couple of bad experiences. I’m really glad I had a chance to talk to you.

Pete finished his juice and left.

Photographer Takes Hilarious Photos of Cats on Catnip

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

20

Kitty Profiles on Prrrr

cats-cuddling-big - Pet Haven of Minnesota

We know a lot of you will be looking for love in the new year, so we thought that we would show you a few of the kitties currently on Prrrr, today’s hottest feline dating site.

Evie

19 Best Cat Toys and Supplies (2021): Scratchers, Window Perches, Etc |  WIRED

Life is too short not to love.

Purr Ons: cuddles, sun puddles, fluffy blankets

Purr Offs: baths, wet kisses,  vacuums

Bessie

Straw Hat Cat | Know Your Meme

Grab life and roll around it in.

Purr Ons: warm grass, back rubs, good food

Purr Offs: running games, cold rain, head pats

Vivian

Cute Cat posing kitty

Come explore with me.

Purr Ons: long walks, talking, massage

Purr Offs: whining, wet paws, cheap kibble

Finnegan

Hats For Cats

Did you see that?

Purr Ons: adventure, the red dot, fast toys

Purr Offs: rainy days, dirty windows, commitment

Brody

Gravis, Part-Time 8-Bit Toaster on Twitter: "i have felt for many years  that there is nothing more satisfying and correct than a cat with a fish in  its mouth https://t.co/j3PtIqezVw" / Twitter

I’m an even bigger catch than this fish

Purr Ons: running games, fishing, the red dot

Purr Offs: too much talking, baths, staying inside

Raphael

Young cat posing | Cat pose, Cats, Fur babies

Life is an adventure. Share it with me.

Purr Ons: traveling, talking, cuddling

Purr Offs: loud noises, timid cats, being ignored

Mike

130 Funny Cat Poses ideas | cats, crazy cats, cute cats

Been looking for love in all the wrong places.

Purr Ons: cuddling, massages, chasing the red dot

Purr Offs: being locked in, teases, bad weather

Phinneas

Cool cat | Fancy cats, Hipster cat, Cute baby cow

Chill and enjoy life’s ride

Purr Ons: sun puddles, warm fireplaces, cuddles

Purr Offs: bad fashion, bad moods, bad food

The first 30 days on Prrrr is free. Why not check it out?

Two Cuddling Cats | Cat cuddle, Cats, Cute animals

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

29

Tips for a Happy New Year

Funny Cats "Happy New Years" song - YouTube

Greetings! Snoops and Kommando Kitty here. The humans are starting a new year today. We wanted to find ways to help Mom actually have a happy new year, so we asked Mr. Google. He sure knows a lot of stuff. Too much stuff. It was hard to sort out what might really work. We put together a list and gave it to her. Guess now we have to wait and see what happens.

Kissing Kitties! - 23rd November 2017 - We Love Cats and Kittens

Kiss someone you love at midnight. It’s supposed to make the love last all year. We hate being kissed, but it’s worth it if she’s happy for a year.

Asheville Cat Weirdos launches food pantry to help pet-owners in need

Fill up your wallet and pantry before midnight. It keeps you from being poor and and hungry all year. Mr. Google didn’t say where to get the money to fill up her wallet. Especially after she spent all that money filling up the pantry. But we did notice that we have lots of food and treats, so it sounds good to us.

14+ Memes Clean House - Factory Memes

Don’t clean your house OR clean your house thoroughly. This was one of the places where Mr. Google really confused us. One place said that she shouldn’t clean so she didn’t wash/sweep away any good fortune that was coming her way. But another place said that she should clean thoroughly to sweep away all the bad luck from the past year. We hate the vacuum cleaner, but we hate clutter where we sit, so Mom’s on her own for this one.

Sad Cat Wallpapers - Top Free Sad Cat Backgrounds - WallpaperAccess

Don’t cry. If she cries on New Year’s, it could mean that she will be sad for the rest of the year. We hate it when she’s sad, so this one is really important.

PsBattle: This cat trying to enter a house : r/photoshopbattles

Don’t leave the house until someone else comes in. Mom actually had experience with this one. Her grandmother was from Scotland, and refused to leave the house until a tall, dark-haired man visited with a coin, something to eat, something to drink, and something to warm the house. (Luckily, our grandpa fit the bill so he always first-footed her.) Traditional gifts include coins, bread, salt, coal, and whiskey to ensure prosperity, food, flavor, warmth, and good cheer all year long. We don’t know anyone who fits the bill, so hopefully this one isn’t vital.

Post Cats Eating Weird Things | Bored Panda

Eat black-eyed peas and collard greens. The black-eyed peas bring good luck and the collard greens bring prosperity. We don’t like either one, but she’s also supposed to eat pork (wealth and progress) or herring (good luck) and soba noodles (longevity and prosperity), so she can make a meal of it all and we’ll share the stuff we like.

Cat vs Lobster! A fight between a lobster and three cats recently took  place on the bank of Daguan River in Kunming, southwest Chi… | Cats, Cat  boarding, Three cats

Don’t eat lobster before midnight. Apparently lobsters move backwards, and eating one too close to the new year might cause the human to have setbacks during the year. We’ve never had a lobster, but they look pretty scary, so not having one in the house is fine.

The Best Vacuums for Pet Hair for 2019

Make lots of noise at midnight to scare away evil spirits and omens. We hate loud noises, but as long as it’s not a vacuum we should be okay. Besides, it sounds like she only needs to do it for a short period of time.

Grapes are his favourite; not to eat but to play with! 😂 : r/CatsBeingCats

We also threw away a few.

Eat exactly 12 grapes at midnight. Each grape is supposed to represent a month of happiness. But she had to be done with the grapes at 12:01. We were afraid she might choke if she tried to eat them that fast. That would be really bad luck.

Open the door just before midnight to let the old year out and the new year in. We think that the year should be smart enough to get here on its own.

Suitcase Cats : Animals and Pets : r/aww

Carry an empty suitcase around. It’s supposed to bring a year of travel and adventure. We don’t like travel at all, so we’re not going to encourage it.

Wear red underwear. Some people think that wearing red underwear on New Year’s will bring romance into their lives. Mom doesn’t need romance; she has us. Besides, we don’t think she should be showing her underwear to other people.

good luck kitty ... | Dog station, Cute cats, Cat memes

Eat vasilopitta (sweet Greek bread) or king cake. The person who finds the coin in either pastry is supposed to have good luck for the year. But first you have to be lucky enough to find the coin. What happens to the rest of the people?

Hogmanay Blessings

While we’re waiting to see if our suggestions work, we want to wish everyone a happy new year. (And those in Scotland, a Happy Hogmanay – end of the old one.)

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

10

Gator Family Christmas – Part 2

This is the Santa Alligator, he brings presents to every Alligator who serves in the Alligator Army, you all have been added to his nice list :) : r/Alligator_Army

Where we are – Stan and Adele have invited the family to South Carolina to celebrate Christmas. On his way to pick up his son Vinny, Uncle Stu met a woman and thinks he’s in love. You can read Part 1 here.

It was two days before Christmas. Vinny pulled into the driveway and everyone went out to meet him.

Stan: Welcome! Glad you made it.

Stan looks in the car.

Stan: Where’s Uncle Stu?

800-pound gator caught on camera - CNN Video

Vinny: The last time I saw him, he was baking Christmas cookies.

Granny started laughing.

Granny: Stu’s never baked anything in his life. Your mother was afraid to let him in the kitchen.

John: Remember when he tried to grill that turkey? He didn’t realize you had to light the fire ahead of time. He ended up setting the turkey on fire.

Vinny (laughing): Yeah. We had to go buy clam chowder for everyone to eat. Maybe I shouldn’t have said he was baking. He was sitting in the kitchen while Katya was doing all the work.

Granny: That sounds more like Stu.

Cuddling yacares | Pantanal, Cuddling, Animals

Adele: Is Katya his new soul mate?

Vinny: I guess. She seems nice enough.

Adele: How did he meet her?

Vinny: He went up to her house to ask for directions. He couldn’t figure out how to get to my house. She asked him to come in, and he’s still there.

Granny: We should have guessed. So he wants to stay with her rather than us for Christmas?

Vinny: You know Dad. She was nice to him, so he thinks he’s in love.

Gator Country - Gators need cuddles, too!! | Facebook

Stan: In fairness, he does irritate a lot of people. It was probably nice to find someone agreeable.

Vinny: He’s safer with her than some of the other characters he runs across.

Justine: Reading his stories on GatorGab is amazing, Uncle Stu leads a very interesting life for a retired gator.

Adele: He does have some interesting adventures.

Granny: He’s too trusting. He lets other people talk him into doing stupid things. So he’s not coming for Christmas.

Vinny: Katya told him he was welcome to spend the holidays with her if he would like. He thinks it would be a nice change.

Granny: Change from what? He’s never been to Stan and Adele’s. It’s our first Christmas here.

Vinny shrugged. He was disappointed his father hadn’t come with him, but knew that there was no point in arguing with him. His father was as stubborn an alligator as he’d ever met.

  • Pin on Animals, Animals, Animals

Suzy: Well, that’s disappointing. He’s funny and he tells great stories.

Adele: I agree, honey. Maybe we can invite him again next year.

The rest of the gators spent the evening catching up with Vinny. On Christmas Eve, everyone put their presents under the tree. They drank eggnog and at cookies while Granny told stories about Stan and his brothers when they were young alligators.

Justine, Suzy, and Danny listened intently. They loved hearing about Christmas at the swamp. Before long, it was bedtime.

Granny: You kids better get to bed. It’s time for Santa Claws to come.

Suzy: Oh, Granny! You know we’re too old for Santa.

Granny: I know, dear. But I need some peace and quiet. I’m not used to having everyone around. I want to be well-rested for the big meal tomorrow.

In the morning, they were opening their presents when there was a commotion outside.

Florida Woman Fights to Keep Her Pet Alligator Who Wears Clothes and 'Rides' ATVs - ABC News

Adele: What is all that noise?

Stan: It sounds like sleigh bells.

Adele: We live in South Carolina. It can’t be sleigh bells.

Justine: It’s definitely bells.

This Woman Is Dangerous: Alligator at the door

Someone knocked on the door. Then rang the doorbell. And rang the bell again. And again.

Adele: Hold on. I’m coming.

She opened the door.

Adele: Stu! What are you doing here?

Stu: I thought I was invited for Christmas. Today’s Christmas.

Adele: You were invited. But you told Vinny that you were staying in Florida. With Katya.

Stu: I never said that. I said I wasn’t coming with him.

Vinny: Dad, you said you were staying there.

Florida woman shocked to find 'aggressive' eight-foot alligator knocking on her door | Daily Mail Online

Stu: I did stay there. But now I’m here. Can I come in?

Adele: Of course. How did you get here? Did you drive by yourself?

Stu: No. Katya drove me. She has an excellent sense of direction.

Adele: Where is she?

Stu: I told her she wasn’t invited. She’s in the car waiting for me.

Granny: Stu! You’re an idiot. Tell her to get in here. It’s Christmas. We’re not going to make her wait in the car after she was nice enough to bring you all the way up here.

American Alligators resting

Stu: Okay. I didn’t want to impose on Adele. You’re really going to like her.

Stu went out to the car and invited Katya in. She explained that Stu hadn’t told her that he was supposed to be going to a big family Christmas. Once she found out what he was missing, she insisted on driving him up so he wouldn’t get lost. Her own family was celebrating later in the week so she wouldn’t miss anything by helping Stu.

Stu acted as if nothing unusual occurred. He sat at the head of the table and got the biggest slice of roast beef.

How an Alligator attack got my family into Ducks – Doing Manly Things (Mostly)

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

 

21

Gator Family Christmas

130 Alligators Etc. ideas in 2021 | crocodiles, alligator, animals wild

Stan and Adele and their daughters Justine and Suzy are hosting the family Christmas this year. Most of the relatives from south Florida will be coming to South Carolina for the festivities. You can read about their family reunion here and here.

Justine: I’m so excited! I can’t believe Granny’s going to be here for Christmas! When are they arriving?

Adele: Your Uncle John is supposed to be driving everyone up the week before in his camper.

Suzy: What about Cousin Danny? Is he coming?

Adele: He’s in school until that Tuesday. So he’ll be coming separately.

Alligators avoid some beaches but not all

Stan: Cousin Vinny’s going to be able to get some time off from the resort for the holidays. So he and Uncle Stu will be coming separately. They won’t be staying as long.

Adele: Thank goodness! I was afraid Stu was going to try to find the house by himself, and we’d never see him again.

Justine: It is kind of scary how bad his sense of direction is. We’re friends on GatorGab. Last week, he was walking on the beach and was partway to Daytona before he realized he missed the turn into his subdivision.

Adele: We should probably start cleaning so we can get everything decorated before they get here.

Alligator basking in the sun | One of the alligators at Sant… | Flickr

Suzy: Where is everyone going to stay? Our house isn’t that big.

Stan: I’m renting a sauna. They said it feels just like southern Florida in the summer.

Justine: Oooh! That sounds nice.

Stan: And I’m going to set up a sunlamp in the basement.

Granny Gertie arrived with John, Jacob, and Norm a few days before Christmas.

Suzy: Hi Granny! Did you have a good trip?

Hungry, hungry... alligator? Reptile 'crashes' Florida picnic, chows down on burgers - New York Daily News

Granny: It was long. Your Uncle John doesn’t really believe in taking rest breaks while he’s driving. I feel stiff.

John: Mom, you’re an alligator. You always walk like that.

Norm: Besides, it would have taken forever if we had stopped every time you wanted to. You wanted to eat every time you saw a picture of food.

Granny: It all looked so delicious.

John: How are things here? Adele, the house looks amazing.

Adele: Thanks, John. We’re doing well. Today was my last day of work before the holidays. We had our big potluck.

Ten Weird and Exotic Animals Wearing Santa Hats

Justine: Mom took swamp grass cookies. They’re always a big hit.

Adele: We exchanged “Secret Santa” gifts. Here’s mine.

She held up a package of “Roadkill Helper.”

Adele: Apparently someone thinks I don’t know how to cook.

Justine: You said your Secret Santa was that goofy chameleon. He’s just afraid of you.

Stan: You did threaten to step on him once.

Save Wildlife Habitats Animals Of The DAyThanks | Crocodiles, Reptiles, Crocodile animal

Granny: Don’t worry about it dear. You can give it back to him at next year’s gift exchange. Could someone show me where we’re sleeping? I’d like to take a nap before dinner.

The visiting gators settled in. Danny arrived a few days later. Three days before Christmas, Vinny and Stu still had not arrived. Justine was scrolling through GatorGab and saw a post from Uncle Stu.

Justine: Hey, guys. Uncle Stu says that he left for South Carolina yesterday. Has anyone heard from him?

Stan: No. Does it say anything about Vinny?

Neighbors spot monster alligator strolling through Myrtle Beach community | WPDE

Justine: He says that he is going to pick up Vinny and head here.

Suzy: He’s picking up Vinny?

Norm: It’s supposed to be the other way around. Somebody better call Vinny.

Granny: I’ll try to reach Stu. My brother has the common sense of a pumpkin.

Granny and Stan started trying to figure out what was going on while the others paced around the house. 

Granny: Stu got bored waiting for Vinny and decided that he would go to South Miami to pick him up at the club. He says he’s north of the city at a very nice lady gator’s house.

a congregation of alligators

Stan: So Vinny can pick him up there?

Granny: He’s not sure he wants to come anymore. He thinks she might be his soul mate. I told him he’s an idiot.

Stan: Vinny wants to know what he should do.

Granny: He should pick up his idiot father and bring him to the family Christmas.

Justine: Maybe we should invite the lady gator too. Uncle Stu just changed his relationship status to “It’s Complicated” on GatorGab.

Granny Gator began to make a low growling noise deep in her throat.

Next week: Will Uncle Stu and Cousin Vinny make it to South Carolina for Christmas? (see part 2 here)

Santa gator: Woman allowed to keep pet alligator in home - ABC7 New York

17

The RHCCC: Homecoming Game

Boomer Esiason named commissioner of football league for cats -  CBSSports.com

Miki’s son Steve was the backup quarterback on the Crabapple Cove High School football team. He usually got to play for a few minutes at the end of the game, but didn’t have much experience. He came home from practice one day really excited.

Steve: Guess what! I’m the starting quarterback on Friday!

Giselle: What happened? Someone teach pigs how to fly?

Steve: Very funny, sis. Chad has to go out of town with his family, so I get to play.

!!!!!THE BIG CATS CLUB!!!! - Tagged

Miki: That’s wonderful, sweetie. I hope those big cats don’t hurt you.

Steve: Mom! That’s why I have big cat protecting me. I’ll be fine.

Giselle: Are you sure you’re ready? The last time they let you touch the ball, you dropped it.

Steve: That wasn’t my fault. Ralph fumbled the snap. Even the coach said he messed up. It was the last play. We would have done better the next time.

Hallmark Channel's Kitten Bowl and Rachael Ray's Nutrish for Cats  #kittenbowl - About a Mom

Steve was right. He played well on Friday, and the team won. It was the first time they had beaten Sutters’ Bay in five years. By Monday, Steve was a hero at school. Chad came back to find out that he had competition for the starting position.

Chad: It’s not fair! I only missed a couple of days. I’m better than he is.

Coach: Maybe yes. Maybe no. Steve’s been working hard, and he looked good on Friday. I want to see both of you side-by-side for a couple of days. Homecoming’s next week. We need the best guy for the job.

Chad: Fine. But it won’t be him.

How To Stop Cats Fighting Over Territory [A Complete Guide]

Chad and Steve were friends, but the competition was fierce. They each wanted to start against Kingston on Friday to showcase their skills. Steve was excited about his chances. He couldn’t stop talking about it when he saw his girlfriend Diane.

Steve: Can you believe it? I could be the quarterback for Homecoming!

Diane: That’s great, Steve! Do you think that would make us more likely to be on the Homecoming Court? I’d really love to be Homecoming Queen.

Steve: You’re not going to be Queen. We’re not seniors, remember? They always pick seniors.

Diane: Yeah, I guess you’re right. It’d still be nice to date the starting quarterback. When do you find out?

Steve: Coach said that he was going to watch both of us this week and decide on Thursday who gets to start on Friday. That will determine who plays at Homecoming.

How Cats Play

Both boys worked hard all week. The team looked better than it had in a long time. Finally it was time for Coach’s decision. At the end of Thursday’s practice, he gathered the team.

Coach: I’ve been watching closely, and I think we have two great quarterbacks. For tomorrow’s game, I’ve decided that I want to go with experience; Chad will be starting.

Steve’s heart sank. He had been sure he’d won the job. Now he was supposed to go back to riding the bench. He showered and left, dejected.

Juno the Angry Cat isn't actually angry, owner says - New York Daily News

Steve: Mom, this is so unfair! I worked really hard! I should be starting tomorrow.

Miki: I know. Did Coach say anything about whether you’d get to play?

Steve: Not really. He just said that Chad was starting. I left as soon as I could. I don’t even want to go tomorrow.

Miki: I understand it’s really disappointing. But you have to go back. You’re still part of the team, and they need you. You can show that you’re a leader by doing whatever you can to help them.

Steve: I guess.

Goal Kitty, A Gorgeous Cat With Unique Markings Who Loves to Raise Her  Front Paws and Cheer

Steve showed up the next night and cheered for Chad and the rest of the team. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem to be helping. By halftime, Crabapple Cove was down 28-3. The team went into the locker room silently. Chad sat with his head down while Coach tried to rally their spirits.

Finally, Steve stood up.

Steve: Guys, c’mon. You’re better than this. Don’t let Kingston walk all over you. We beat Sutters’ Bay last week, and these guys stink compared to them. I know you can do it. Let’s go out there and roar!

Animals on the Playing Field - The Atlantic

The team looked at him like he was crazy. But Steve kept talking and finally they started nodding. The team walked back onto the field with their heads high.

Then Chad was sacked on the first play of the second half.

Coach: Steve, put on your helmet. You’re going in.

Next week: Can Steve spark a comeback and win the starting position for Homecoming?

100 Rescue Cats To Appear In Kitten Bowl III - CatTime

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

23

Hibernation Prep – Fall 2021 – Part 2

Winter Rituals: Nighty-Night Bears - Earthfire Institute

Where we are – the Bearlingtons were in the midst of preparing for hibernation when Papa’s brother Sam appeared at their door. He had been kicked out of the house last spring after disrupting the previous hibernation and eating all of their food. Sam has recently been kicked out by his girlfriend and is looking for a place to stay.

After being greeted with less-than-open-arms by Mama, Sam is taking a walk while the family discusses his situation.

A Bears Quest for Food | Wise About Bears

Papa: Shelly, be reasonable. He doesn’t have any place else to go.

Mama: That’s his own fault. It sounds like he was as much of a loaf at her house as he was here.

Kenny: I like Uncle Sammy! He’s fun.

Carl: Yeah! He let’s us eat whatever we want and run around the cave.

Kenny: And he give great rides.

Finland: Teacher 3 Bear Cubs Dancing & Playing Like Human Kids

Mama: And you boys are totally wild when he’s here.

Carl: Mama! We’re bears. We’re supposed to be wild.

Mama: We live in the suburbs. You need to behave like civilized bears.

bear on the beach | Bear, Polar bear, Beach

Penelope: He’s really funny. Remember those impressions he did of the humans he met at the beach? (mimicking) “Alice, is that a bear? That can’t be a bear! Bears don’t go to the beach.”

Papa (laughing): I’d forgotten about that. He is the only bear I know who goes to the beach when the humans are around.

Penelope: He must be really brave.

Mama: Or not very bright. Humans carry diseases. He should stay away from them.

BEARLY HOLDING ON: A BEAR SQUADICLE | SCAD Radio

Just then, Sam reappeared. He was carrying a basket of salmon and and another one fully of blueberries. He handed them to Mama.

Sam: Here, Shelly. I wanted to make up for some of the food I ate last year that you had been saving.

Mama: Thank you, Sam. That’s very sweet. Where will you go if you can’t stay here?

Sam: I was thinking about that. I think that there may be an empty spot further up the coast. I remember hearing some deer talking about a shelter near Kapoka.

Papa: That’s a long ways off. Do you know anyone up there?

Sam: Not really. But it should be fairly sheltered and safe.

happy bear, spring, grass,happiness | Cute animals, Animals, Cute creatures

Penelope: Will you come back in the spring, Uncle Sam?

Sam: I don’t know. There really isn’t anything for me around here. Maybe it’s time for me to make a fresh start.

Penelope: You can’t go that far without knowing for sure you’ll find shelter.

Kenny: What if the place is full of mean bears?

Sam: Don’t worry about me. I’m a tough old bear. I’ve been in tight spots before.

Best place to see a crowd of grizzlies (A good place to bear witness) —  High Country News – Know the West

Mama: Sam, are you sure there’s a spot for you up there?

Sam: Well, a friend of a friend said that they usually have openings in the late summer.

Mama: It’s not late summer anymore. You don’t really have a place, do you?

Sam: Not really. But I know I was a problem last year. I was just hoping that you might forgive me.

Kenny and Carl: Please, Mom? Can he stay here?

Depressed Bear sitting by a river: photoshopbattles

Mama: I don’t want to be heartless. Do you promise not to raid the pantry every time you get bored?

Sam: Cross my heart.

Mama: And you have to start picking up after yourself. You can’t just go out for a long walk in the spring when it’s time to do the big clean-up.

Sam: I promise.

Mama: And when it’s time for the boys to hibernate, you have to back me up and tell them to go to bed.

Sam: I promise.

Mama: Then you can stay.

There was much cheering and dancing around. When everything finally settled down, they sat down for a big meal of salmon and blueberries.

What are bears up to this winter? - Bearwise.org

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

 

20

Hibernation Prep – Fall 2021

Could humans hibernate like bears? | TheHill

Mama: Well, it’s that time of year again.  Is everybody ready to settle in for the winter?

Papa: I can’t wait. It’s been a long summer.

Mama: Penelope, you sweep out the cave. Kenny, you and Carl start gathering fresh moss and leaves for the beds.

Papa: I’ll suspend our subscription to Grizzly Times until April.

Mama: Don’t forget to have them hold our mail too.

Papa: Do you like the message I have for the phone?

“Thank you for calling the Bearlingtons. We can’t come to the phone until spring. Please leave a message and we’ll return your call after April 15. Please do not leave more than one message. We will not be checking our calls.”

Glacier National Park Cameras Capture a Black Bear Waking Up From Hibernation | Mental Floss

Mama: Yes. That sounds about right. Do you think April 15 is late enough?

Papa: You know Penelope and the boys. There’s no way they’ll let us sleep past mid-April.

Penelope: Mama, can I keep my InstaBear account active this year? I’m going to miss so much.

Mama: You know the rules, dear. Hibernation season is family time. No electronics. Besides, you’ll be sleeping most of the time.

Penelope: I know. But it’s so boring until we actually settle down. Can Jessica stay here for hibernation?

Papa: Of course not! She should be sleeping with her own family.

Penelope: She’s mad at them. They wouldn’t let her run away with her boyfriend.

Papa: The zoo runaway? He seems a little old for her.

Black Bear Sightings In New City Prompt Police To Release Safety Tips | Clarkstown Daily Voice

Penelope: Yeah. He was kind of weird. He wanted to move to the city and open a food truck.

Mama: She’s probably better off with someone local.

Papa: Did you pay the mortgage ahead? We don’t want to get kicked out mid-winter.

Mama: The bills are all set.

Kenny and Carl returned with armloads of bedding material. Mama Bear created hibernation spots for each of them to spend the winter. Looking around the room, she tried to remember what else needed to be done. Suddenly, she heard a familiar voice.

Voice: Anybody home?

She looked at Papa Bear.

Black Bears Emerging From Hibernation | Naturally Curious with Mary Holland

Mama: You did not invite your brother Sam to hibernate with us, did you?

Papa: Sam! What are you doing here? I didn’t think you even knew where we lived.

Papa’s brother Sam had spent the previous winter with them. He had eaten all of the spare provisions and generally made a mess of the cave. Papa and Mama had several fights over his lack of responsibility When spring came, they kicked him out and switched caves.

Sam: Joey! Long time, no see! I had a heck of a time finding you. After we parted way, I met up with a beautiful girl. I really thought she was the one. But fall comes, and she tells me I have to find some place else to hibernate. I don’t understand.

Papa: That’s too bad. Things had been going well?

Give us a bear hug! These rescued grizzlies enjoy life again in Europe's largest bear sanctuary | Daily Mail Online

Sam: I really thought so. Except for that time I confused her with her sister. Her sister’s really pretty too.

Papa: If she dumps you after one mistake, she’s not the girl for you.

Sam: Maybe not. Too bad though. She had a really nice cave. But she was kind of particular about keeping it clean. Reminded me of your wife. Speaking of which, is Shelly around?

Mama: I’m right here, Sam. To what do we owe the pleasure?

Sam: Good to see you! I missed you guys!

Kenny: Uncle Sam!

Sam: Hey Kenny! You miss me?

Free Bear Wrestling | Bear, Cute animal pictures, Animals wild

Kenny: I really did! Mom won’t let us wrestle in the house when you’re not here!

Papa: Are you living around here now?

Sam: Well…actually…

Mama: Tell us the truth Sam.

Sam: Lydia kicked me out and I don’t have anywhere to go. Everything around here is booked.

Kenny: You can stay here. Right, Mom?

Sam: I don’t think your Mom’s going to want me around for another winter.

Sad Bear Is Sad

He looked sadly at Mama.

Penelope: I’m sure she’s fine with it. She was just talking about how hibernation should be spent with family.

Papa: And he said he doesn’t have anywhere else to go.

Mama: He was a terrible guest last year. I don’t know.

Sam: Please?

Next week: Will Mama let Sam stay for the winter?

Autumn Bear Wallpapers - Top Free Autumn Bear Backgrounds - WallpaperAccess

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

18

Thunder Katt: Best of Baby

Hello everyone! It’s Thunder, and I have a special post for everyone today. About a year ago, Mom and Dad got us a human kitten (we did so good with him, they’re bringing us another one soon)! At first, we were really nervous, because we heard human kittens were loud, stinky, and messy- yuck! While all of these have proven to be true, he also proved to be more trainable than the adults (he already gives tummy rubs!) and he comes with some really cool things that cats everywhere can enjoy. So without further ado, here is the 2021 Best of Baby, as voted on by Angel, Onyx, and me!

Baby Carrier

This has proven to be a wonderful asset to our house. Despite it smelling like the human kitten, a cat can curl up for a nap, play with the straps, or cuddle with the human kitten if he’s still in it. As an added bonus, there’s often a soft blanket tossed in it to keep everyone warm!

Some Baby Foods

I need to start by emphasizing the “some” part of this, as babies tend to eat yucky foods like green beans and peas. However, they also drink this wonderful concoction called “formula” (our human kitten has to drink the dairy-free version due to an allergy, but it still tastes good). They also have cereals that some kitties may enjoy. And, we recently discovered that older babies get meat mixed in their purees. Just really sniff before licking, as there are some very gross flavors out there.

Car Seat

Much like the carrier, these seats are padded and soft, and make great nap spots. You can also sit on them and watch cat TV. However, be careful, as ours stays in the car if it doesn’t need to be washed, and you don’t want to get stuck on a car ride.

Packaged Diapers

I will start by saying these diapers must be clean, and preferably in the package. Once they are used, diapers move to the top of the worst of baby list. However, in the package, diapers are soft but firm, making them good to lounge on. If you can get a clean one by itself, they make decent targets for hunting practice. I would not advise napping on the pack of diapers, as you’ll be disturbed far more frequently than acceptable. Human kittens go through too many diapers for the effort of curling up for a good nap. 

Crib

This seems like an obvious choice. It’s a human kitten bed! These are preferable for bed time in the summer, as most human kittens don’t sleep with fluffy blankets until they’re older (feel free to switch back to your big human bed in the winter). Just make sure you get to the crib before the baby so you get the best spot. 

Baby Swing

These act much like carriers, but you can have your human turn them on so they move and vibrate! Some play music, but that’s just annoying. Avoid pouncing in them, as the swinging motion will upset your balance and make you stumble. 

High Chair

There are several advantages to this human kitten feeding center. First and most obvious, you can get food! However, they also have trays you can sit on and receive pets from the human kitten (make sure the tray is clean prior to sitting). Many have storage nets attached to the bottom where you can nap. And, if nothing else, you can sit in the seat and claim your rightful spot at the table. 

Play Mats and Pens

This is where you’re most likely to get one-on-one time with your human kitten. You can lounge by yourself and enjoy the daily sun, or you can cuddle up to your human kitten. You can also use these to teach proper hunting technique, or to get some tummy time in. And, if they have a play pen, you can store your mousies in there. 

Stroller

I see this more as a lounger, since that’s what I do in it, but if your big humans insist on using it to stroll with the human, make sure you get the most use out of it when it’s collapsed inside. Otherwise your humans may try to push you around, which will impair your natural feline independence. 

Walker

Again, I think of this more as a sitter… humans are quite odd in their namings. You can sit in the comfortable fabric seat and swat at the attached toys for hours of fun and play! 

Toys

Human kittens have tons of cool toys to swat around! Balls, little cars, stuffed animals, things with pushy buttons and moveable parts… and they’ll usually play with you! I’ve been able to train my human kitten to play paws through his desire of pushing a ball back and forth with me! 

Boxes

Every cat loves boxes! And luckily for us, we found out that everything for babies comes in boxes (and usually has foam wrapping as an added bonus)! As soon as the item is removed, jump in the box to claim it. You’ll be so cute, your big human won’t have the heart to get rid of the box, and soon you’ll have a great selection to hide in when you need a break from the human kitten!

I hope you’ve enjoyed Best of Baby, Thunder K. Katt style! Please note that this list was not printed in any particular order, and everything on this list has been tested and approved by 3 cats of different ages. If you have a human kitten in your life, best of luck to you with raising them; and if not, enjoy your quiet and peace!

Furs and purrs,

Thunder Katt 

16

Job Seeker Profiles on Cats4Hire

How to Cat Nap at Work - Amazing!!

In honor of US Labor Day, we thought that we would profile some of the cats currently looking for work on Cats4Hire. Wikipedia defines a working cats as a “type of domestic cat that “works” for its upkeep by hunting vermin.” However, cats can do so much more than that.

16 Cats and money ideas | cats, animals, money cat

Name: Rex

Desired Position: Cashier

Skills: Money handling; Ability to tell counterfeit bills from real ones

Why Me?: Proven track record of destroying bad money.

World's First Cat Lifeguard - YouTube

Name: Duke

Desired Position: Lifeguard

Skills: Swimming, Can identify a “beach fashion faux pas” at 20 paces

Why Me?: I don’t require a separate break room/bathroom.

5 Reasons Cats Love Bathrooms | Catster

Name: Giselle

 Desired Position: Bathroom Sentry

Skills: Ability to adapt to working conditions; Ability to not gag or laugh at humans in compromising positions

Why Me?: I fit nicely into any decor.

Cat and Rat's Adorable Friendship Shatters Stereotypes - ABC News

Name: Portia

Desired Position: Baby-sitter

Skills: Patience; Willingness to work with all types of children

Why Me?: Proven track record of not eating my clients.

We just got a new kitten, needless to say she's taken a liking to our dog.:  aww

Name: Max

Desired Position: Dog Wrangler

Skills: Fearless; Intimidating

Why Me?: I work through cooperation, not intimidation.

6-Awesome-Cat-Exercise-Wheels-that-will-blow-your-mind

Name: Boomer

Desired Position: Trainer

Skills: Excellent muscle control; Loud voice

Why Me?: I can intimidate with one look.

Cat Nap Marathon

Name: Cuddles

Desired Position: Pillow Tester

Skills: Flexible; Ability to sleep anywhere

Why Me?: Doesn’t your company want the “aww” factor?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.