23

The Gator Family vs The Homeowners’ Association – Conclusion

 

Where we are: Uncle Stu Alligator organized a group of animals to go to the Homeowners’ Association (HOA) Board Meeting to protest violations they had received on their lots. He may have been a little too successful. The gathering had frightened the board members into locking the doors and telling the animals that their requests for review had to be put into writing. Disappointed, the animals returned to their homes. If you missed the beginning of the story or the middle of the story, you can catch up here and here.

Stu and Amanda had invited Stan, Adele, and the girls over for a barbecue on Saturday.

Justine: What happened with your protest, Uncle Stu?

Stu: Can you believe we scared the board members so they wouldn’t even let us talk?

Justine: That’s not fair! The last time we were here, they told you that you had to go to the meeting.

Stu: I know that. I think it’s because it’s run by that Erskine Weasel. He won’t even look at me when we’re out at the same time.

Suzy: The board is run by a weasel? Who else is on the board?

Stu: Let’s see. There’s a cow, a goat, a gerbil, and a jackrabbit.

Justine: Uncle Stu, I know that we’re civilized gators and don’t eat our neighbors. But those animals all sound rather delicious.

Stan: Justine! Are you suggesting Uncle Stu eat the board members?

Justine: Not at all. I’m just thinking that a big, strong alligator like Uncle Stu might look threatening to them. Especially when he had all those other animals with him.

Stu: That’s ridiculous. I only eat meat that has been ethically sourced.

Amanda had gone out for the mail.

Amanda: Stu, you might not want to laugh. We just got a letter from the HOA Board.

Stu: What does it say?

Amanda: “Dear Neighbors, After much discussion and thought, the board of the Orchard Bluff Homeowners Association is resigning. In light of the kerfuffle at our most recent board meeting, we do not feel safe being responsible for enforcing the agreed-upon rules. We will be holding an election at the next board meeting. Sincerely, Erskine J Weasel.”

Justine: Wow. He really is a weasel. Someone stands up to him and he runs away.

Amanda: Can they do that? How will we find a new board in less than a month?

Stan: I was looking into the agreement you and Stu signed. It says that board members must give 60 days notice if they resign before their term ends.

Adele: I suppose fear of being eaten is probably considered an extenuating circumstance.

Stu: Who do you suppose will be dumb enough to try and run this place? Oh, well. Time for the food.

It became clear over the next couple of weeks that the only thing the neighbors could agree on was that they hadn’t realized how different they were from each other. They liked each other well enough as neighbors, but they didn’t want anyone telling them what to do with their houses or yards.

The next board meeting was extremely well attended. This time there were no signs or chants, just an edgy group of animals.

Erskine: I now call this meeting to order. Janelle, will you please read the agenda for tonight?

Janelle: There are only two issues on the agenda. First, the acceptance of the current board’s resignations. Second, elect a new board.

Erskine: Very well. We will conduct business by voice vote. All those in favor of accepting the board’s resignations, say “aye.”

There was broad approval.

Erskine: Those opposed.

A few voices were heard.

Erskine: We’ll now open the floor to discussion of the candidates.

Bucky Beaver: I nominate Stu Gator for President of the board.

Stu shook his head vigorously, but no one seemed to notice.

Eddy Black Bear: I agree. Let’s vote.

No one knew if it had been prearranged or not, but Stu won by an overwhelming voice vote.

Stu: I really appreciate it, everyone. But I’m not cut out to run the HOA. I need a list for more than one thing at the supermarket.

Adele nodded. It really didn’t sound like a good idea. But the crowd was sure. They quickly found four other animals to round out the Board.

Stu: Okay. If you insist. Let me talk with the new Board members for a few minutes, and we’ll get things started.

He went into a small room with Ziggy Iguana, Seth Sheepdog, Bucky Beaver, and Talulah Tabby. They emerge a few minutes later, nodding in agreement.

Stu: The Board and I came to a unanimous agreement. We’re throwing out the old agreement. The new agreement is much easier to keep straight. You can do what you want to in your backyard as long as it doesn’t move into your neighbors’ yards. In the front, it’s still no lawn ornaments, no rusting vehicles or vehicles without wheels, and nothing invasive that’s going to be moving to your neighbors’ yards without permission. We’ll be writing it up and sending it out in the next few days.

Voice from the Crowd: What will you guys be doing?

Stu: We really don’t know. We’re going to go through the by-laws and see if there’s still a role for us. If not, we’ll be dissolving the Board. Now let’s all go to Sally’s Sundaes. We can use some of the fees the HOA has been collecting.

All pictures generated by Gemini AI

20

The Gator Family vs the Homeowners Association – Part 2

Where we are: Following an inspection from their Howeowners Association (HOA), Stu and Amanda Gator have received citations for seven violations. Apparently a new board was recently elected, and they want to focus on keeping the subdivision as uniform in appearance as possible. Stu was furious. He talked to some of his friends and neighbors. All of them had complaints.

Josey Black Bear: Did you know they have rules against having dead wood in your yard? We can’t teach our kids how to make a decent den without branches and trunks.

Eddy Black Bear: Yeah. We’re not supposed to dig holes in the yard either.

Stu: Not even your backyard?

Eddy: , That’s what they said. They’re dangerous and detract from the aesthetic of the neighborhood.

Stu: What’s that supposed to mean? It’s a subdivision full of animals. We’re not supposed to act like animals?

Josey: Rumor has it that the new president of the HOA used to live near humans and that’s where he got the idea.

Bucky Beaver: I guess you heard that we have to take down our dams. They’re considered an “eyesore” by the HOA.

Stu: What do they want you to have instead?

Bucky: They suggested we take out a permit to put in a fish pond.

Stu: You guys don’t eat fish, do you?

Bucky: No, we don’t. But it wouldn’t matter if we did. The pond is only for looking at, not for raising food.

A few of the neighborhood ladies stopped by to talk to Stu.

Germaine Gazelle: They told me I’m only allowed to have two colors of flowers in my garden.

Stu: Which two?

Germaine: They don’t care as long as there’s only two.

Cindy Calico: And no flowering shrubs.

Stu: Why not?

Cindy: I’m not sure, but all shrubs need to be green.

Stu: they told me I wasn’t allowed to have more than two.

Cindy: That’s right. One on either side of the door. They don’t want the front to look cluttered.

Pauline Poodle: They are making us paint or side our house a new color. They don’t allow forest green.

Stu: I don’t think they want anything that’s not living to be in green. What colors do they allow?

Pauline: White, beige, and brown. And only red brick.

Jeffy Zebra: And they won’t let me hang the flag from my school anymore either.

Stu decided that they needed to do something. He sent a message to the homeowners’ chat page telling them to meet at his house on Tuesday so they could march to the meeting together.

Amanda: I don’t know, honey. It sounds like the goat might be right. We did sign the paperwork.

Stu: The paperwork was drafted by a human for humans. That weasel in charge is trying to force us to do things that are against our nature.

Amanda: You don’t need to call him names.

Stu: I’m not calling him names. His name is Erskine Weasel. And he used to live with humans. So he has their weird ideas about how we relate to nature. Just because we live in a subdivision like humans do, doesn’t mean we have to act like them. Are you with us or against us?

Amanda: You know I’m always with you.

It was an hour before the meeting, and no one had shown up. Stu was pacing around, getting nervous. Bucky Beaver was the first to arrive, followed by the bears and the cats. By the time they left, there were thirty families represented. As they marched down the street, the waved signs and shouted.

Stu: What do we want?

Animals: Freedom to be animals!

Stu: Whose houses?

Animals: Our houses!

Stu: Whose rules?

Animals: Our rules!

Stu: Who decides?

Animals: We decide!

Erskine Weasel had heard that there might be a few unhappy homeowners at the board meeting. He asked the members to arrive early so they could strategize. The board met for an hour before the start of the meeting. The members were the inspectors Maxine Cow and Effie Goat, as well as Jimmy Gerbil and Janelle Jackrabbit. They were all administrative types, not eager for confrontation. They heard noise outside.

Jimmy: What’s all that noise?

Erskine: Let me see.

He opened the door.

Erskine: Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness gracious.

Maxine: What’s out there?

They all got up to look. They saw a large group of very angry animals coming towards them.

Jimmy: I did not sign up for this. My job is to organize potlucks and bingo.

Janelle: My job is to take notes at meetings.

Maxine: We all agreed to enforce the Homeowners Agreement. We knew there would be some unhappy animals.

Effie: Not this many and not this angry. What are we going to do?

Erskine pushed everyone back inside and locked the door.

Erskine: They need to put their requests in writing. This meeting is now closed-door.

They could hear the angry animals on the other side of the door.

Next week: Will Orchard Bluff become an orderly, uniform subdivision?

Images are AI-generated using Google Gemini

18

Santa Claws and the New Delivery System – Part 2

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Where we are: Mortimer Weasel has convinced Santa Claws that he needs to have his toys built by elves all over the world rather than just the North Pole. Santa would be able to pick up the toys locally for delivery to the kittens in the area. Unfortunately, Santa finds out three days before Christmas that some of the toys won’t be ready.

(The link to the first part of the story is at the right.)

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Santa: What am I going to do? That idiot has ruined Christmas for all of those poor little kittens.

Mrs. Claws: I have an idea.

Santa: Thank you, dear. But I don’t think there’s time for anything now.

Mrs. Claws: Just trust me.

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Mrs. Claws ran off while Santa continued to pace back and forth. Finally, he curled up in front of the fire and went to sleep. He dreamed about chasing weasels through the snow.

When Santa woke up, it was dark. Mrs. Claws still wasn’t back. He walked back to the house; she wasn’t there either. Where had she gone? Finally, she came in and nuzzled Santa.

Santa: There you are! I was getting worried. Where have you been?

Mrs. Claws: I told you. I had an idea about how to fix your problem.

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Santa: Did it work?

Mrs. Claws: We’ll know in the morning.

Santa and Mrs. Claws had dinner. They curled up and went to sleep. Before they knew it, someone was ringing the bell. Santa got up and answered the door. It was Greta. She had been chief of toy production before Mortimer eliminated her job.

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Santa: Greta! It’s wonderful to see you! How have you been? What brings you here?

Greta: I’m great, Santa. Mrs. Claws came to see me yesterday and told me about your problems. We elves had been wondering how this new system was going to work. Everyone’s feeling badly that we let that weasel talk us into it.

Santa: It’s not your fault, Greta. I’m sure he made it sound fool-proof.

Greta: Anyway, is Mrs. Claws here?

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Mrs. Claws: Greta! How are you doing?

Greta: We’re ready to show Santa the big surprise.

Santa: What big surprise?

Mrs. Claws: You’ll see. Come with us.

The three of them walked toward the toy shop. Santa was surprised to see all the lights on. The local elves had finished their work at the beginning of the month and were all on vacation until after Christmas.

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Greta opened the door, and Santa saw the elves working feverishly, building the extra toys he needed.

Santa: Greta, how did you do this? I thought everyone had left town.

Greta: No one wanted to miss Christmas Eve, even if we weren’t working. When Mrs. Claws told us about the kittens who were going to miss their visit from Santa Claws, we got to work. You should have everything you need before you go.

Santa: Greta, I can’t believe you would do that. Particularly after the way Mortimer treated you.

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Greta: It doesn’t have anything to do with him. It’s about the kittens.

Santa: That’s true. It is about the kittens. I don’t know how to thank you. Please tell the elves that they’ll be getting double their regular Christmas bonus regardless of whether or not they get everything finished.

Santa and Mrs. Claws left the elves to their work. Santa was beside himself with excitement. Maybe it was going to be all right after all.

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The next day, Santa got dressed and ready for the trip. He went to the toy shop to see how everything had worked out. He was amazed to see everything he needed for the area around Guam.

Greta: What do you think, Santa? They’re all here; no kitten with be without a gift. I’m really proud of the team.

Santa: Greta, the team is truly incredible. Excellent as always. I couldn’t have done this Christmas without all of you.

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Santa Claws made his trip around the world. The new regional delivery system wasn’t too bad, but he didn’t like not having control of the quality. Some things just weren’t up to his and Greta’s standards.

When Santa returned to the North Pole, he fired Mortimer and gave Greta her old job back. He didn’t want to fire all of the regional elves, so Greta worked out a system where they would do early production. Everything would be sent to the North Pole for completion and quality control.

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All pictures courtesy of Google Images.

 

 

9

Santa Claws and the New Delivery System

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Santa Claws was not a happy cat. It was three days before Christmas and his new Christmas route had not been finalized. He hated the new system.

Santa: Fluffy, my pet, why did they have to change my schedule now?

Mrs. Claws: You know very well what happened. That new employee you haired got everyone stirred up about working too hard, so we had to outsource some of the work to elves in other parts of the world.

Santa: I am never hiring another weasel. He has been nothing but trouble. Where is Mortimer anyway?

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Mrs. Claws: I’m not sure. The last time I saw him he was offering to get Mindy Mink some cocoa.

Santa (laughing): I wonder if he knows her boyfriend is a wolverine.

Mrs. Claws: I’m sure he’ll find out soon enough,

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Sant texted Mortimer. A few minutes later he was in the office.

Santa: Where is my schedule?

Mortimer: Don’t worry, you’ll get it.

Santa (growling): I want it now.

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Mortimer: It’s not ready.

Santa: What do you mean it’s not ready? Christmas Eve is in two days.

Mortimer: I know! I know!

Santa: When will it be ready?

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Mortimer hesitated.

Santa: Well?

Mortimer: There’s been a little glitch.

Santa: What kind of glitch?

Mortimer: Well, the team in Guam has had a lot of absences and their toys aren’t ready.

Santa: What do you mean they’re not ready?

Image result for cat playing with toy mouse"

Mortimer: Um, the stuffed mice and treats are ready, but the crinkly tunnels and special cat beds are still being worked on.

Santa: WHAT? That’s a disaster! What are you going to do about it?

Mortimer: What do you mean me? I’m not an elf. I’m staff, like all the other non-felines.

Santa: You’re going to be staff clearing ice off the compound if you can’t fix this.

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Mortimer: OK! Take it easy! Don’t get your fur in a hairball. I’ll see what I can do.

Santa: When you told me about your stupid plan, I said it wouldn’t work.

Mortimer: It’s not a stupid plan. It’s brilliant. We have workshops all over the world. All you have to do is drop by to pick up the toys for that area. No more lugging everything all over the world.

Santa: I said that we needed to have everything here so it could be sorted and put in the right order. It’s a magic bag, remember? It doesn’t require lugging. Now look at the mess you’ve made. We’ll have crying kittens all everywhere. My reputation will be ruined.

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Santa Claws arched his back and began to growl. Mortimer looked at the door.

Mrs. Claws: I think you need to leave now, Mortimer.

Mortimer was out the door before she finished.

Mrs. Claws: Don’t worry. We’ll think of something.

Santa continued to hiss and growl.

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Coming up: Will Mrs. Claws be able to save Christmas for the kittens?

 

All pictures courtesy of Google Images.

13

Ranger Bob – Conclusion

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So far: Four raccoon kits have met a bear at the park. The bear turns out to be the beloved Ranger Bob. Somehow the school has lost track of its former safety adviser, and he is living across the river with his daughter. Upon discovery, Ranger Bob is invited to visit the school. You can start the story here.

Ranger Bob steps onto the stage and hugs John The young animals clap and sit down.

Ranger Bob:  Hello, everyone! It’s nice to see you.

Students: It’s nice to see you too, Ranger Bob.

Ranger Bob: I want to thank Ms. Porcupine for inviting me to speak. I used to come to the school a lot. I know most of your parents.

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Timmy Chipmunk: My mom was really excited that you’re here She says you know everything about safety in the woods.

Ranger Bob (embarrassed): Well, I don’t know everything. But I’ve learned a lot over time.

Ms. Porcupine: I invited Ranger Bob here to share some of what he knows about forest safety.

Ranger Bob: What’s the most important thing to remember in the woods?

The children shout out answers:

Don’t get lost!

Don’t eat poison plants!

Don’t eat poison bugs!

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Don’t eat each other!

Everyone laughs.

Ranger Bob: The most important thing to remember is to be prepared. Be sure you have enough water available. Know how to get back to where you started. Questions?

Wally Weasel:  Is it OK to go out by ourselves?

Ranger Bob: I recommend that you always take at least one friend with you. But if you do go alone, be sure someone else knows where you’re going and when you plan to be home.

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Becky Beaver: What do I do if I get lost?

Ranger Bob: If you’re sure you’re lost, find a safe spot and stay there until someone finds you.

Rikki Raccoon: I’d climb a tree to see if I recognized anything.

Ranger Bob: Excellent idea!

Sheila Squirrel: I’d use the squirrel chatter network to tell my parents where I was.

Ranger Bob: Wonderful!

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Louie Wolf: I’d howl to give my position.

Ranger Bob: Another excellent idea! You children are doing great!

Mama and Papa Raccoon are sitting at the back of the room with Ms. Porcupine.

Ms. Porcupine: He really gets along well with the children, doesn’t he?

Mama: Oh, yes. He always has.

Ms. Porcupine: He’s so big. I wonder why they aren’t afraid of him.

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Papa: They know he won’t hurt them. I don’t think they even think about his size after a while.

Mama: He’s very gentle. And talks to them as if they were all the same size.

They watch Ranger Bob and the children for a while.

Ranger Bob: Kids, I’m having a great time, but I think it’s about time for me to go. Any last questions?

Anna Raccoon: Are you going to come back soon and teach us more?

Ranger Bob: That’s up to your school.

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The children turn to look at Ms. Porcupine.

Ms. Porcupine: What types of things did you have in mind, Anna?

Anna Raccoon: I don’t know. Safety stuff. Like swimming.

The others join in.

Forest fires

Snakes

Floods

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First Aid

Building shelters

Finally, Ms. Porcupine holds up her paw, laughing.

Ms. Porcupine: Ranger Bob, it seems that the children have become very interested in safety all of a sudden.

Ranger Bob: They were very good listeners. And it is important that they know how to stay safe. We want them around for a while.

The children giggle and nod.

Ms. Porcupine: You seem to get along well with them and enjoy teaching them.

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Ranger Bob: I’ve enjoyed teaching kids about safety for as long as I can remember.

Ms. Porcupine: Would you be available to come in one afternoon a month for a presentation?

Ranger Bob: I’d be honored.

Ms. Porcupine: Just tell me the subject ahead of time so the parents will know. They might want to come too.

Ranger Bob: Of course.

Ranger Bob turns to the children.

Ranger Bob: OK, kids?

They race up and hug him. It looks like there might be tears in Ranger Bob’s eyes.

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Pictures courtesy of Google Images.