21

Home Alone Feline Edition: This Time it’s Personal

Snoops and Kommando here. And we are not pleased. Our humans have abandoned us. Our human sister and her very loud family came over a couple of days ago. Of course, we hid. When we came out, our humans were gone. That’s not usual. They disappear regularly, but they always come back.

 But it’s been light and dark and light and dark, and they’re still gone. A strange man came in yesterday and fed us. He said they are on vacation. Vacation? Who would need a vacation from us? Apparently they are going to be gone for a few days.

Now we have to think of a way to get even. The question is, should we do something while they’re gone or should we wait until they get back?

Lolcats - hairball - LOL at Funny Cat Memes - Funny cat pictures with words  on them - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny cat pictures with words on

Maybe a nice hairball.

Fancy cats and dead gifts - Meme by Capra24 :) Memedroid

Or some kind of varmint.

Lolcats - destroy - LOL at Funny Cat Memes - Funny cat pictures with words  on them - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny cat pictures with words on

Maybe we can take it out on the plants.

LALALALALALA. Not Listening!

We can give them the silent treatment when they get home.

No touch me, im angy - iFunny :)

Or maybe just act really grumpy.

We think that we’ll just look really cute when they get back. Then they’ll feel bad for leaving us alone. (If you have a better idea, please leave it in the comments.)

Memes courtesy of Google Images.

23

Thunder Katt: Alternatives in Dining

Greetings from a hungry kitty! Recently, my human mom was diagnosed with something called “Celiac Disease”. From what I can tell, this means her body doesn’t like her when she eats gluten (a protein found in wheat, barley, and rye) and it causes her to be in a lot of pain (which makes her really, really grumpy), and it causes her to be super nauseous and tired.

I thought we were going to have to trade her in at the shelter for a newer model, but she informed me that all she had to do was make some dietary modifications, and she would feel better! (Sadly, there is no cure or medicine for this. The only treatment is dietary changes). So, I decided to tell everyone about different diets that you and your human can try together (please note that I was forced to include some of these by my typist- I would never be able to go meat free or dairy free, but major kudos to those who can)! 

Gluten Free

This is what my household has started following recently. We have cut out all wheat, barley and rye. Our diets now commonly consist of rice, rice flour baked goods (such as bread, desserts, and pizza crust), vegetable pastas, corn tortillas, cheese, meat, and produce. The two tastiest things (aside from the meat and cheese) are the tortillas and pizza crust. This option is good for anyone with gluten allergies or sensitivities, and many people with autoimmune disorders have benefited from this as well. 

Vegetarian

This diet is scary- you completely cut out all meat! Thankfully, you can still have animal products, so dairy and eggs are okay, along with soy-based meat substitutes (found in the frozen section of your local grocery store). Other staples of this diet include nuts, beans and other legumes, pasta, bread, fruits, and vegetables. Although I would never commit to this diet, some Thunder-approved foods include lettuce, grapes, and strawberries. Note to kitties: due to being obligate carnivores, I would not take this diet as your primary- I would use this as a snacking aid or meal side. 

Dairy Free

According to science, all cats should be following this because we can’t break down dairy enzymes. Clearly, Mr Science is wrong, because Angel and I often enjoy cheese and cream cheese without issue. This diet cuts out cow’s milk and cow’s milk products, which includes most types of cheese, creams, sour cream, cream cheese, and butter. There are alternatives out there, such as soy, almond, rice, and oat milk, and you can enjoy juices and broths, along with meats, most treats, produce, and wheat products. This diet is something you can consider trying if your human is lactose intolerant (can’t process dairy enzymes) or vegan (see author’s note at the end). 

Diabetic Diet

This diet focuses on healthy eating habits to help your body regulate it’s insulin production and sugar levels. It cuts out a lot of carbs and sugars, and focuses on proteins and fresh foods. Both cats and humans can suffer from diabetes, so if you are in an affected household, you probably are already familiar with this diet. Some cat-approved foods include grilled or baked poultry, lean red meats, low-fat cheeses and cottage cheese, and select fruits and vegetables (humans can enjoy foods such as onion and garlic, which are harmful to cats). Try to stick to the water-based vegetables, such as lettuce and cucumbers, and the low-sugar fruits, such as bananas, if you and your human choose this diet. 

Soy Free

Soy is a legume that originated in Asia. It is also a common source of food allergy. Soy is commonly used to replace dairy and meats, and can be found in soy milk, vegetarian meat replacements, infant formulas, frozen vegetable mixes, tofu, and many pre-packaged or processed foods. To avoid soy, select fresh meats, dried pasta, beans, and rice, and fresh produce. Watch out for cross contamination (the process by which microscopic amounts of a food are unintentionally transferred to another food), as many plants  and restaurants process soy in the same area they process other products. 

Nut Free

Nuts are one of the most common allergens around. Peanuts are the biggest offender, although tree nut allergies are becoming more common. Cross contamination is really common with nuts, so the best way to avoid nuts is to buy fresh meats and fish, whole wheat breads and flours, and fresh produce, and to create everything at home. Almost all processed foods have the risk of having come in contact with nuts. Thankfully, most cats don’t care about nuts one way or another, so if your human is avoiding nuts, this shouldn’t affect you too much.

Egg Free

Eggs are a bit odd in my opinion. They look like toys, but when you bat one off of the table, it just plops and breaks. And the inside is slimy and weird. But if you cook an egg, it’s hard, and actually really delicious. However, if you’re hung up on how weird they are (or if you’re allergic), there are ways to avoid eggs. Unfortunately, this eliminates almost all prepared sweets, pastas, snacks, breads, and sauces; however, meats and fresh foods, along with some dairy is okay. And if you’re willing to put in the time of making your own foods at home, there are substitutes you can use for eggs, such as applesauce, mashed bananas, buttermilk, and arrowroot powder. 

Whole Food

This diet is becoming more and more popular. It is a way of eating that emphasizes plant foods and cuts out unhealthy items like added sugars and refined grains. It is one of the healthier meal plans out there. Depending on how you do it, this can maintain or lower your body weight, but you and your human are still getting yummy, cat-approved foods! Foods commonly found on this diet are whole grains, fruits and vegetables, chicken and fish, milk, yogurt, legumes, nuts, and seeds. This probably is not a good choice for those with food allergies, who should instead stick to a dietary restriction diet to make sure they avoid their allergens. 

Paleo

This diet sounds like it was created by a wild cat. The point of this diet is to eat what you can get by gathering and hunting – fish and meats, fruits and vegetables, and nuts and seeds. Like the whole food diet, this plan cuts out processed foods, but it also cuts out most wheat, as wheat is typically cooked down and processed before serving. This diet also focuses on all meats, such as venison, poultry, and red meats, as opposed to mainly the leaner options. This diet sounds pretty purrfect to me. 

Pescatarian 

This diet is similar to vegetarianism, but their main source of protein includes fish and seafood and it sounds much better to me! The Omega-3 fatty acids in fish are great for your fur and eyes, so definitely mention this diet if your human is looking to cut out most meat but wants to include you. 

Who knew that humans could be so picky? I was shocked when I saw all of these different diets! I have my paws crossed that you found something that works for your household, but at the end of the day, remember this: make sure you get your meat intake, and also make sure that you get your special treats. One human’s intolerance should not ruin everything for you! May you eat well and be merry! 

Purrs and furs,

Thunder K. Katt

Author’s note- according to Mr Google, veganism is a popular diet. I chose not to include this because it has proven to be highly unsafe for cats, who are obligate carnivores and can not safely live off of plant proteins alone. 

23

Gypsy Katt: Basement Dweller

Hello. My name is Gypsy K. Katt. You have met my sisters Thunder, Onyx, and Angel. We were all invited to spend a few days at Snoops’ and Kommando’s house before Easter. I really didn’t want to come. I forced the humans to make a second trip when I hid during the first one. They were not pleased.

Hiding Cat Meme | Funny cat memes, Dry cat food, Cat memes

When they finally got me over here, I was really unhappy. You see, I spend most of my time alone at home, and I really wasn’t interested in making a bunch of new friends. As soon as I got here, I raced downstairs and found a safe spot to hang out. The humans were really nice. They brought me food and water. They even gave me a litter box. Angel kept me company for a while.

Actually, life was pretty good. The basement in this house has a walkout into the yard, so there is a HUGE Cat TV screen. The humans came down a few times, but I hid. Snoops discovered me and wasn’t very happy. But she left me alone, so we’ve compromised on live and let live. She does take some of my food once in a while, but I’m doing OK. I don’t see much of her anymore.

My humans picked up my furry siblings after a few days, but I was nowhere to be found. No one was too worried – I was eating, drinking, and using the litter box. Since I like high spots, my human grandma (Cat) figured I was hiding in the (unfinished) ceiling. It was still too cold in the basement for the humans to hang out down there, so they left me pretty much alone. They figured I’d come out on my own in a few days.

They were wrong.

About a week later, my human Mom came over. I heard her in the bathroom and cried to her. I just wanted to say hi. When she came downstairs, I was nowhere to be found. I had definitely made myself at home. The same thing happened the next time they visited. I really love them, but having all this space to myself is so cool!

Lolcats - hungry - LOL at Funny Cat Memes - Funny cat pictures with words  on them - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny cat pictures with words on

Last weekend, the humans forgot to feed me one day. So I had to forage. (I didn’t want to starve.) I went upstairs to share the kibble. Rats! The humans were at the dining room table and saw me! Had to retreat. Came back a few minutes later to look out the front door. Nice view. But my door-wall downstairs is better.

I saw Kommando. She watched me, a little fluffed up, but didn’t say anything. I left as soon as the humans started to come near. Close call! I’m getting pretty settled in to my new lair. Kommando’s human brother came down later to see if he could talk to me. He got the picture at the top of the page. That’s the last anyone’s seen of me.

I’ve heard them talking. Now that it’s warming up, Cat’s planning to spend more time downstairs to get close to me. I’m not sure what to do. On the one paw, I do miss human companionship. But on another paw, I really like all the freedom here. I’ve been here a little over a month and it’s definitely home-away-from-home.

Maybe I can get a human to move into my new space.

Memes courtesy of Google Images.

17

The Do’s and Don’ts of a Happy Easter

Easter Cat Wallpapers - Top Free Easter Cat Backgrounds - WallpaperAccess

Greetings, everyone! Easter is tomorrow and we’re here with some last-minute tips to share with your human to ensure you have the best Easter ever!

100 Easter Cats ideas | easter cats, cats, easter

Easter Eggs

We don’t like chocolate and chocolate doesn’t like us. It contains something called theobromine that causes problems with our hearts and nervous systems. So NO chocolate eggs for us. On the other hand, those hard plastic eggs are really cool. You can put pieces of kibble in them. They make noise when when chase them around the house. When we finally break them open – VOILA! – a food puzzle has been solved!

Or even better – just give a couple of our favorite treats.

Cat and Flower Wallpapers - Top Free Cat and Flower Backgrounds -  WallpaperAccess

Easter Plants

Easter lilies are extremely toxic to kitties. Even eating a couple of leaves can be deadly. There is no safe part of this plant as far as we are concerned. Too bad, because they really are pretty and some humans seem to be particularly fond of them this time of year. Please tell your human to also avoid bringing in daffodils (our human’s favorite), tulips, hyacinths, or daisies. They all can make us extremely sick or even kill us. Also on the no-no list are cyclamen and amaryllis.

We recommend silk flowers if your human wants some extra color around the house for the holiday. Or maybe something more feline-friendly like roses, gerber daisies, sunflowers, orchids, snapdragons, or freesia.

Create an Easter Basket for your Cat | Pictures of Cats | Easter cats, Cat  pics, Easter pictures

Easter Basket

In addition to avoiding chocolate, make sure you don’t eat any raisins. We cats are sensitive to grapes, and raisins are just wrinkly grapes. On the other hand, Easter grass looks really yummy, but is not. It’s really just strings of plastic. The plastic can irritate our digestive systems or even cause a blockage. Blockages are really bad – they usually require surgery to fix.

Tell your human that if they want to give you a basket, it should be lined with catnip or cat grass. Good gifts include catnip bunnies, felt eggs, and egg-shaped treat dispensers. A new blanket is always welcome too.

This Cat Went Viral Because He Learned To Beg In A Way That Melts People's  Hearts | Bored Panda

Easter Dinner

Easter dinner smells so yummy! Ham is really good, but it’s full of fat. So if you do score some, make sure to enjoy it in moderation. And avoid the garlic and onions. They can both be toxic to cats. And do not let silly humans make you drink alcohol. It is not good for cats! (And you’ve probably seen how stupid it can make humans act.)

A better holiday dinner is to convince your human to get you some luxury cat food. Or gourmet cat soup. Lobster bisque is a favorite around here.

20 Sleeping Cats Who Take Naptime to a Whole New Level | BeChewy

Easter Guests

Make sure your human remembers that having people over is stressful for you too. It might be nice to get extra pets and cuddles, but strange people bring strange sounds and smells which can be hard on us. And sometimes a cat just wants to get away and be a cat.

Remind your human to keep a safe space for you where you can get away from the humans and relax. A nice quiet place to hide and take a nap away from everything going on.

Easter Bunny - Wiktionary

Just Something Interesting

While we were looking up stuff on the Internet, we found lots of information about the Easter Bunny. We were hoping for find some kind of Easter Cat, but no such luck. However, we did find three other animals. We knew about the Easter Bilby (we even wrote about him here.) He brings treats to children in Australia.

But did you know that children in Switzerland get treats from the Easter Cuckoo? They go on a hunt Easter morning for colored eggs and chocolate eggs left by the large bird. And in Germany, some children leave a nest of moss and hay for the Easter Fox who leaves them treats to find on Easter morning.

We still think an Easter Cat would be very cool.

50 Cats/Easter ideas | cats, easter cats, crazy cats
Pictures courtesy of Google Images
23

Springing into Spring

Royalty-free cat flowers photos free download | Pxfuel

Greetings! We are on the verge of one of the best times of the year: it’s almost time for Spring Fever. Spring officially arrives in the Northern Hemisphere at 11:33 am (Eastern Time Zone) tomorrow, March 20th. It’s the vernal equinox which means that the day and night are the same length on Sunday. Then the days start getting longer than the nights. It should also start warming up. Finally!!

Here’s some of what what we’re looking forward to:

Cute little red cat sit on wooden floor near window. Young little red kitty  looking out window. Ginger kitten looking at its reflection in window. Cute  home pets. Domestic animal and young

Cat TV – There are so many more birds during the summer. We get robins, sparrows, woodpeckers, wrens, bluebirds, and lots more. And the animals are more active. We’ll have squirrels, bunnies, groundhogs, deer, raccoons, possums, snakes, frogs, and maybe some other stuff. And there’s bugs to chase too.

Does your dog or cat like to lounge in the sun? | NutriSource Pet Foods

Sun puddles – Spring means more sun, and more sun means more sun puddles. There is no better place to take a nap than in the middle of a sunny spot. Either curled up or all stretched out. There’s nothing like warm fur.

Begging eyes : r/aww

Earlier breakfast – Mom gets up at the same time during the week, but on the weekends she usually feeds us when we get her up. But she’s grumpy about it if it’s still dark out. In the summer, she gets up much more willingly. Now if we can just figure out some way to get more treats.

Why Does My Cat Pounce?

More energy – We don’t have to use up so much energy staying warm, so we can do more roaming and exploring. We’re not really interested in zoomies anymore, but we do feel more energetic. And we usually take shorter naps. There’s so much more to explore and look at.

spring cat - Friends of Felines Rescue Center

Spring smells – It’s almost time to open the window. And it smells so good outside. There’s grass, flowers, other animals, and all kinds of stuff to sniff.

Opening the catio – It’s only a few weeks until we get to go back out on the catio. We didn’t get to use it much last year, but our human brother has promised improvements. It’s gonna be great!

Can Cats Eat Catnip? Here's What You Should Know About the Herb

Planting catnip – We don’t really like plants, so Mom never learned how to keep us out of them. But it was a huge problem when she tried to grow catnip. So it has to go outside. She promised to plant a bunch this year. We can’t wait.

Happy Spring Equinox Cats video ^ spring equinox or March equinox or vernal  equinox | Spring equinox, Happy spring, Modern witch

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

17

The RHCCC: Valentine’s Dance

Valentine's Day 2022 pet spending: You won't believe what we'll shell out  for our dogs and cats | Fox Business

It’s been a while since we checked in with the ladies who make up the Real House Cats of Crabapple Cove (RHCCC). They are all looking forward to the big Valentine’s Day party thrown annually by the Loyal Order of the Saber Tooth Tiger. Everyone except Bella, that is.

Bella: I think I’m going to skip the party this year. I’m not really in the mood.

Fluffy: You have to go! We already paid for the table.

 Miki: Yeah. We always go together. It’s a tradition.

Bella: I know. But I don;t have a date. I don;t want to be the only single kitty at the Valentine’s party. It’s too depressing.

What is Kitten Season?

Daphne: What happened to that guy you were seeing? Jack?

Bella: I had to dump him. Turns out he had two other girlfriends. And one has kittens.

Fluffy: The two-timing rat! I knew he was no good! The ones that seem to good to be true are always trouble. I’m sorry, sweetie.

Bella: It’s OK. But I don’t feel much like partying.

Miki: Do you want Ralph to get one of his friends to join us? He knows some nice guys.

Bella: Thanks. But I don’t think so.

Fluffy: I’m on the organizing committee, so I’ll be pretty busy. If I don’t bring a date, will you come?

Bella (hesitating): I guess.

How to Throw a Birthday Party for Your Cat - Catster

Miki (clapping her paws): Pawsome! We’ll have a great time!

Bella arrived at the party early and helped Fluffy get things set up. Before long, Miki and Daphne showed up with their husbands. Daphne’s husband Sam was grumbling.

Sam: I don’t understand why they call this a party. It’s a dinner. They only call it a party so they can charge more.They don’t even have an open catnip bar.

Miki: I told you. The Saber Tooth TIgers only have one fundraiser every year, and they don’t want a bunch of stoned cats getting into fights.

Daphne (laughing): Ignore him. He’s just grumpy because the kids were teasing him about his fur.

Hair kitty kitty kitty - meet the world's fluffiest cat - Daily Star

Ralph: You are looking extra fluffy tonight.

Sam: Yeah. Daphne talked me into going to the groomer today. She went wild on the blow-out.

Daphne: Well, I think you look adorable. And isn’t that what matters?

Sam: I guess. I’ll just avoid the mirrors.

Fluffy came up with a tray of niptinis.

Top 10 Wine Loving Cats At Wine O'Clock

Fluffy: Enjoy, everyone! Gunther makes the best niptinis in town.

The others began lapping up the drinks and talking. Before long, it was time for dinner. The food was wonderful – a seafood buffet with various greens. After the food, there was dancing.

Fluffy was mingling. She was a very social cat and loved big parties. She knew everyone and was having a great time.

Daphne and Sam got up to dance as soon as the music started. Miki didn’t want to leave Bella at the table by herself, so she and Ralph stayed around to talk. But the loud music made it difficult to hold a conversation. 

Does Your Cat Beg at the Dinner Table? - The Conscious Cat

Bella: You guys go ahead and dance. I can’t even hear myself think in here. I’ll go see if I can help with something.

Miki and Ralph left the table. Bella looked around. She didn’t really know anyone working. She had just followed Fluffy around earlier.

Finally, Bella decided that she wanted some tuna juice. She went up to the bar and said hello to Gunther. Things were fairly quiet at the bar.

Gunther: What would you like, pretty kitty?

Bella: Tuna juice, please.

Gunther: Anything for your date?

Bella looked around, confused.

Bella: I don’t have a date.

How Do Cats Communicate with Each Other?

Gunther: Good. I was just making sure before I asked if I could join you for a drink. I’m going on break, and I’d like to spend it with you. I’ve been watching you ever since Fluffy introduced us.

Bella was flattered, but nervous. She was a quiet, shy cat and not used to this type of attention.

Bella: I guess so.

They sat near the bar and sipped tuna juice. 

Bella: Crabapple Cove is a small place. I don’t remember seeing you around. Are you visiting someone?

cat-typing | odd letters

Gunther: Actually, I moved up her to write the Great American Cat novel. I made a bunch of money in New York, and then relocated.

Bella: Really? I work at the library, and I love reading. That’s wonderful! Very impressive.

Gunther (laughing): Not yet. All I have so far is the idea and the outline.

Bella: I’m still impressed. I never met a novelist before. Why are you here tonight?

Gunther: I ran into your friend Fluffy at the meat market. She told me about the party and convinced me to come help. She’s very persuasive.

Bella (laughing): She usually gets what she wants.

Gunther: I’m glad I came. I don’t know many folks, and it’s been great meeting everyone. And I got to meet you.

Bella blushed under her fur.

Cat Cafés, Library Cats and Museum Cats – Oh My! – Columbus EMP

Bella: Well, I’m sure I’m the least interesting cat here.

Gunther: I don’t believe that. Tell me about yourself.

Bella talked about the library and her daycare. They had just started talking about books when Gunther was called back to the bar.

Gunther: That was fun. I’d like to talk some more. Can I take you home after the party?

Bella: I’d like that.

Bella went back to her table and watched the dancing. When the party finally ended, Gunther escorted Bella home. And he was a purr-fect gentleman.

cats-cuddling-big - Pet Haven of Minnesota

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

29

Tips for a Happy New Year

Funny Cats "Happy New Years" song - YouTube

Greetings! Snoops and Kommando Kitty here. The humans are starting a new year today. We wanted to find ways to help Mom actually have a happy new year, so we asked Mr. Google. He sure knows a lot of stuff. Too much stuff. It was hard to sort out what might really work. We put together a list and gave it to her. Guess now we have to wait and see what happens.

Kissing Kitties! - 23rd November 2017 - We Love Cats and Kittens

Kiss someone you love at midnight. It’s supposed to make the love last all year. We hate being kissed, but it’s worth it if she’s happy for a year.

Asheville Cat Weirdos launches food pantry to help pet-owners in need

Fill up your wallet and pantry before midnight. It keeps you from being poor and and hungry all year. Mr. Google didn’t say where to get the money to fill up her wallet. Especially after she spent all that money filling up the pantry. But we did notice that we have lots of food and treats, so it sounds good to us.

14+ Memes Clean House - Factory Memes

Don’t clean your house OR clean your house thoroughly. This was one of the places where Mr. Google really confused us. One place said that she shouldn’t clean so she didn’t wash/sweep away any good fortune that was coming her way. But another place said that she should clean thoroughly to sweep away all the bad luck from the past year. We hate the vacuum cleaner, but we hate clutter where we sit, so Mom’s on her own for this one.

Sad Cat Wallpapers - Top Free Sad Cat Backgrounds - WallpaperAccess

Don’t cry. If she cries on New Year’s, it could mean that she will be sad for the rest of the year. We hate it when she’s sad, so this one is really important.

PsBattle: This cat trying to enter a house : r/photoshopbattles

Don’t leave the house until someone else comes in. Mom actually had experience with this one. Her grandmother was from Scotland, and refused to leave the house until a tall, dark-haired man visited with a coin, something to eat, something to drink, and something to warm the house. (Luckily, our grandpa fit the bill so he always first-footed her.) Traditional gifts include coins, bread, salt, coal, and whiskey to ensure prosperity, food, flavor, warmth, and good cheer all year long. We don’t know anyone who fits the bill, so hopefully this one isn’t vital.

Post Cats Eating Weird Things | Bored Panda

Eat black-eyed peas and collard greens. The black-eyed peas bring good luck and the collard greens bring prosperity. We don’t like either one, but she’s also supposed to eat pork (wealth and progress) or herring (good luck) and soba noodles (longevity and prosperity), so she can make a meal of it all and we’ll share the stuff we like.

Cat vs Lobster! A fight between a lobster and three cats recently took  place on the bank of Daguan River in Kunming, southwest Chi… | Cats, Cat  boarding, Three cats

Don’t eat lobster before midnight. Apparently lobsters move backwards, and eating one too close to the new year might cause the human to have setbacks during the year. We’ve never had a lobster, but they look pretty scary, so not having one in the house is fine.

The Best Vacuums for Pet Hair for 2019

Make lots of noise at midnight to scare away evil spirits and omens. We hate loud noises, but as long as it’s not a vacuum we should be okay. Besides, it sounds like she only needs to do it for a short period of time.

Grapes are his favourite; not to eat but to play with! 😂 : r/CatsBeingCats

We also threw away a few.

Eat exactly 12 grapes at midnight. Each grape is supposed to represent a month of happiness. But she had to be done with the grapes at 12:01. We were afraid she might choke if she tried to eat them that fast. That would be really bad luck.

Open the door just before midnight to let the old year out and the new year in. We think that the year should be smart enough to get here on its own.

Suitcase Cats : Animals and Pets : r/aww

Carry an empty suitcase around. It’s supposed to bring a year of travel and adventure. We don’t like travel at all, so we’re not going to encourage it.

Wear red underwear. Some people think that wearing red underwear on New Year’s will bring romance into their lives. Mom doesn’t need romance; she has us. Besides, we don’t think she should be showing her underwear to other people.

good luck kitty ... | Dog station, Cute cats, Cat memes

Eat vasilopitta (sweet Greek bread) or king cake. The person who finds the coin in either pastry is supposed to have good luck for the year. But first you have to be lucky enough to find the coin. What happens to the rest of the people?

Hogmanay Blessings

While we’re waiting to see if our suggestions work, we want to wish everyone a happy new year. (And those in Scotland, a Happy Hogmanay – end of the old one.)

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

21

Gator Family Christmas

130 Alligators Etc. ideas in 2021 | crocodiles, alligator, animals wild

Stan and Adele and their daughters Justine and Suzy are hosting the family Christmas this year. Most of the relatives from south Florida will be coming to South Carolina for the festivities. You can read about their family reunion here and here.

Justine: I’m so excited! I can’t believe Granny’s going to be here for Christmas! When are they arriving?

Adele: Your Uncle John is supposed to be driving everyone up the week before in his camper.

Suzy: What about Cousin Danny? Is he coming?

Adele: He’s in school until that Tuesday. So he’ll be coming separately.

Alligators avoid some beaches but not all

Stan: Cousin Vinny’s going to be able to get some time off from the resort for the holidays. So he and Uncle Stu will be coming separately. They won’t be staying as long.

Adele: Thank goodness! I was afraid Stu was going to try to find the house by himself, and we’d never see him again.

Justine: It is kind of scary how bad his sense of direction is. We’re friends on GatorGab. Last week, he was walking on the beach and was partway to Daytona before he realized he missed the turn into his subdivision.

Adele: We should probably start cleaning so we can get everything decorated before they get here.

Alligator basking in the sun | One of the alligators at Sant… | Flickr

Suzy: Where is everyone going to stay? Our house isn’t that big.

Stan: I’m renting a sauna. They said it feels just like southern Florida in the summer.

Justine: Oooh! That sounds nice.

Stan: And I’m going to set up a sunlamp in the basement.

Granny Gertie arrived with John, Jacob, and Norm a few days before Christmas.

Suzy: Hi Granny! Did you have a good trip?

Hungry, hungry... alligator? Reptile 'crashes' Florida picnic, chows down on burgers - New York Daily News

Granny: It was long. Your Uncle John doesn’t really believe in taking rest breaks while he’s driving. I feel stiff.

John: Mom, you’re an alligator. You always walk like that.

Norm: Besides, it would have taken forever if we had stopped every time you wanted to. You wanted to eat every time you saw a picture of food.

Granny: It all looked so delicious.

John: How are things here? Adele, the house looks amazing.

Adele: Thanks, John. We’re doing well. Today was my last day of work before the holidays. We had our big potluck.

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Justine: Mom took swamp grass cookies. They’re always a big hit.

Adele: We exchanged “Secret Santa” gifts. Here’s mine.

She held up a package of “Roadkill Helper.”

Adele: Apparently someone thinks I don’t know how to cook.

Justine: You said your Secret Santa was that goofy chameleon. He’s just afraid of you.

Stan: You did threaten to step on him once.

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Granny: Don’t worry about it dear. You can give it back to him at next year’s gift exchange. Could someone show me where we’re sleeping? I’d like to take a nap before dinner.

The visiting gators settled in. Danny arrived a few days later. Three days before Christmas, Vinny and Stu still had not arrived. Justine was scrolling through GatorGab and saw a post from Uncle Stu.

Justine: Hey, guys. Uncle Stu says that he left for South Carolina yesterday. Has anyone heard from him?

Stan: No. Does it say anything about Vinny?

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Justine: He says that he is going to pick up Vinny and head here.

Suzy: He’s picking up Vinny?

Norm: It’s supposed to be the other way around. Somebody better call Vinny.

Granny: I’ll try to reach Stu. My brother has the common sense of a pumpkin.

Granny and Stan started trying to figure out what was going on while the others paced around the house. 

Granny: Stu got bored waiting for Vinny and decided that he would go to South Miami to pick him up at the club. He says he’s north of the city at a very nice lady gator’s house.

a congregation of alligators

Stan: So Vinny can pick him up there?

Granny: He’s not sure he wants to come anymore. He thinks she might be his soul mate. I told him he’s an idiot.

Stan: Vinny wants to know what he should do.

Granny: He should pick up his idiot father and bring him to the family Christmas.

Justine: Maybe we should invite the lady gator too. Uncle Stu just changed his relationship status to “It’s Complicated” on GatorGab.

Granny Gator began to make a low growling noise deep in her throat.

Next week: Will Uncle Stu and Cousin Vinny make it to South Carolina for Christmas? (see part 2 here)

Santa gator: Woman allowed to keep pet alligator in home - ABC7 New York

20

Thanksgiving Presentation at Critter Cove Elementary School

Shelter Dogs and Cats Receive Special Thanksgiving Feast • The Catnip Times

Ms. Celeste: Good morning, class! Today’s the day that we start your presentations on foreign cultures. I’m excited to find out what you’ve learned about groups who are different from you. Timmy Tortie, you’re up first. What will you be talking about?

Timmy: I’m going to talk about human Thanksgiving.

Susie Siamese: You mean when they go to those buildings and talk to God?

Timmy: No. It’s a big day at the end of the month of November here in the U.S. They get together with their family and friends for dinner.

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Ralph Raccoon: Why?

Timmy: A bunch of them came over from the other side of the world a long time ago. Apparently, the people who were already living here invited them to a big dinner. Or helped them learn how to grow stuff. Or didn’t kill and eat them. Or something.

Jimmy Wolf: So they get together to help each other as a way to commemorate?

Timmy: No. Basically, they get together and they eat a lot. Some of them talk about stuff they’re thankful for.

Susie: My Mom used to live with humans. She didn’t really like Thanksgiving. She said it was really loud. The turkey was pawsome, but the people yelled a lot.

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Timmy: Some things I read said that people get really stressed out because they have to spend time with their weird family members. I guess you can’t just invite the good ones. And sometimes humans drink stuff that makes them act silly and say stupid things.

Belinda Bear: Why do they do that?

Other Children: Humans are weird!

Ms. Celeste: What else can you tell us about human Thanksgiving, Timmy?

Timmy: Sometimes, they march in parades or watch other humans march in them.

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Ralph: What’s a parade?

Timmy: It’s when a bunch of people walk down a street. Sometimes they do tricks like dancing or riding a bike. Some play instruments or sing. And some ride on platforms that they call “floats” even though nothing is floating.

Tony Tabby: That is super weird.

Ralph: Do they sing and dance about thanking someone or something?

Timmy: Not as far as I can tell.

Ralph: So what’s the point?

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Timmy: Santa Claws comes at the end of the parade and the humans welcome him back.

Susie: That can’t be right. Santa Claws comes on Christmas Eve. He’s busy getting ready before that.

Timmy: Don’t worry. It’s not the real Santa Claws. It’s just some human who dresses up like him. They don’t look realistic at all.

Jimmy: I’m getting really confused. What does Santa Claws have to do with Thanksgiving?

Timmy: According to Catepedia.com, the humans like to see Santa Claws so they know it’s time to start shopping for Christmas.

Jimmy: Couldn’t they just use a calendar?

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The class laughed, but Jimmy looked confused.

Timmy: It’s hard to explain why humans do things sometimes. Someone started doing the Santa thing a long time ago, so now it’s what they call a tradition.

Jimmy: So human Christmas kinda of starts at the end of Thanksgiving?

Timmy: Kinda. They do a lot of shopping that weekend.

Tony: That is really bizarre. They get together to eat a lot of food. Then shop.

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Timmy: One other thing that a lot of them do on Thanksgiving is watch American football. It’s a game with a bunch of men on one team running around trying to keep the other team from reaching the end of the field.

Susie: What does that have to do with giving thanks?

Timmy: As far as I can tell, nothing. Some humans just like to watch other humans play-fight. It gives them something to do while they’re waiting for all that food to cook. And it keeps them out of the way.

Crazy Cat Lady - My teen...all day...everyday! UGH!! ----- *Thanks to one  of our readers for this amazingly adorable photo of their kitty!* | Facebook

Susie: It probably gives them something else to argue about.

Timmy: That’s really all I know about Thanksgiving. It sounded a lot more promising before I did the research. I think it’s a pawsome idea, but it could use some work.

Susie: Yeah. Maybe the animals should take it over and show the humans how to do it right.

Ms. Celeste: Susie, that’s a wonderful idea. Let’s have our own Thanksgiving.

Next week: The Critter Cover Elementary School Thanksgiving.

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Pictures courtesy of Google Images

 

21

Snoops and Kommando Chat about Cats

Online School for Cats Soon to be a Reality - Learning Liftoff

Greetings from Snoops and Kommando Kitty. Mom hasn’t been feeling well, so she said we could take over the blog this week. Unfortunately, it’s been really boring around here lately so we don’t have anything to talk about either. So we went to Mr. Google and asked about fun cat facts.

We found some interesting stuff. The information below is from https://www.quizbeez.com/blog/52-cats-fun-facts and https://laffgaff.com/cat-trivia-questions-answers/.

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Approximately 25% of American households “own” a cat.

A group of cats is called a clowder.

A group of kittens is called a kindle.

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If a human killed a cat in ancient Egypt, they could be put to death.

Félicette was the first cat launched into space (as part of the French space program in 1963). She returned safely to earth.

In the 1870’s a town in Belgium had cats deliver the mail. They put the mail in waterproof pouches around the cat’s neck and sent the cats out. It was not successful.

Kittens Cats Group Of - Free photo on Pixabay

A cat’s nose print is a unique identifier.

The house cat shares 96% of her DNA with the tiger.

Cats have 230 bones in their bodies. (Humans have 206.)

All kittens are born with blue eyes.

Kittens from the same litter can have different fathers.

Someone slept too long and wrinkled her whiskers. - ) | Cat memes, Funny  animal pictures, Dog memes

Trimming a cat’s whiskers will cause it to become disoriented. They help the cat determine whether a space is big enough to fit in and how far to jump to reach a certain spot.

Cats can either purr or roar. They cannot do both. Only the jaguar, leopard (except snow leopard), lion, and tiger can roar.

The average house cat can run up to 30 miles per hour (48 kph). Human athletes top out at about 27 mph.

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Cats teeth can stab, anchor, and cut. But they cannot chew.

Cats cannot detect as many colors as humans. But they are far superior at detecting motion. Their eyes can also fully dilate which allows them to see in extremely low light.

Scientists have been unable to study cats’ intelligence to any great degree because cats are not interested in cooperating with the research.

A cat’s sense of smell is far superior to a human’s although not as good as a dog’s.

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Cats like to attack human feet because they are roughly the size of the prey cats normally hunt. (Fuzzy slippers or socks make the resemblance more striking.)

Most cats don’t like cold food. They prefer something close to the temperature of their tongue.

Cats sleep an average of 15 hours per day, although kittens and seniors generally sleep more. The actual schedule will probably vary by the household routine of a house cat.

Cats prefer to drink running water. Possibly because it tastes fresher.

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The Maine Coon is the largest domestic cat. They are not a hybrid with a wild cat.

Black panthers are not a specific feature. They are just large cats with extra melanin.

Turkish Van cats love water.

The Sphinx cat is the only breed native to Canada. It was formerly known as the Canadian hairless.

Bengal cats have fur that sparkles under the light.

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Pictures courtesy of Google Images.