29

Technology: Cat Friend or Foe?

TCS Contact

Humans keep getting more and more electronic toys. A lot of them seem to be called “Get off of that” or “You can’t sit there.” They’re taking up more and more of our humans’ time. That’s a bad thing. They’ve even come up with what they call “cat apps” that are supposed to appeal to us. (We think it’s just to keep us occupied so they don’t have to play.)

We’ve come up with a list of questions that you can answer and show to your human.

Do you prefer old television sets or new ones?

10 Scene-Stealing Cats in Movies and TV (Photos)

There is no doubt that the old ones were far superior to lay on: large heated flat surfaces.

Videos for Cats: Tales from Cat TV - Cadry's Kitchen

But if you want to watch with a friends, today’s larger screens are a definite plus.

Would you rather lay on a book or a computer while your human is reading/using it?

Why I Haven't Read That Book Yet: Sleep | Cute animals, Crazy cats ...

Books are extremely comfy beds. If you can lay on it while it’s on your human’s lap, you can have comfort and cuddles.

Here's Why Your Laptop is So Irresistible to Your Cat | Reader's ...

But you can actually help your human on a computer.

Do you like live mice better than computer mice?

Funny Cats Chasing Mouse Compilation - YouTube

Live mice are fun to chase and play with.

Cute Cat having computer mouse in mouth ;) | Grappige dieren ...

Computer mice are easier to catch.

Do you prefer live Cat TV or computer Cat TV?

Create a Bird Watching Station For Cats - NWF | Ranger Rick

You never know what you’ll see on live Cat TV.

CAT COMPUTER GAMES - Cheezburger - Funny Memes | Funny Pictures

However, some games are only available on the computer.

Do you like old telephones better than smart phones?

Cat blamed for 999 prank call after police break down door to find ...

Old phones were better for napping.

Can Cats See Phone Screens? | Healthy Paws Pet Insurance

With a smart phone, you can screen your calls to avoid talking to that really annoying neighbor.

Do you prefer running for fun or for exercise?

Pros and Cons of the Outdoor Life for Cats | Perfect Fit™

You never know who you might find to play with outside.

Minimum Effort New Year's Resolutions - Campus Socialite

Treadmills make excellent beds. (And you can usually avoid being annoyed by your human there.)

Do you prefer games with your human or games with their computer?

Playing With Your Cat | International Cat Care

Your human will probably have more than one game to play. (But probably will quit before you are done.)

Is your cat fascinated with movement on your computer screen? Well ...

If you can get your human to buy you your own computer, you can play whatever you want, whenever you want.
It’s really up to you how much technology you let into your life. But whatever choice you make, be sure to include your human in the fun.
Lolcats - technology - LOL at Funny Cat Memes - Funny cat pictures ...
Thanks to Bored Panda for the inspiration.
Pictures courtesy of Google Images
23

Stupid Question: Are Cats Smart?

Smart Cat Blank Template - Imgflip

Well, of course we are.

Pin on Funny

Cats are Smarter than Dogs

Humans always talk about how smart dogs are. That’s because dogs are dumb enough to take the humans’ tests. We cats have better things to do with our time.

My brain just exploded - Lolcats - lol | cat memes | funny cats ...

Our brain structure and folding (that thing that make brains look lumpy) is 90% similar to the humans. We’re not really sure we agree that thinking like humans makes us smart, but they do. We have 300 million neurons (nerve cells) in the part of the brain that controls thinking and decision-making (the cerebral cortex). Dogs only have 160 million neurons. Cats rule.

This cat opening a door by himself is truly impressive - Entertainment

We Learn the Same Way Humans Do

Cats have what they call procedural learning. We watch and then we do it ourselves. That’s why we can open doors, ring bells, and turning on lights. Generally, we don’t turn lights out (that’s left to our human minions).

We also have what is called object permanence recognition. Just because we can’t see something doesn’t mean we don’t know it’s there. That’s why it’s a really bad idea for humans to hide our treats. We know they’re somewhere, and we will find them.

39 Photos For Anyone Who's Just Having A Bad Day | Funny animals ...

We totally rock at taking new information and applying it to what we already know. Then we can use what we have learned in new situations. We are extremely intelligent kitties.

Cat Protects His Couch - I Can Has Cheezburger?

We are Smarter than Your Human Baby

We can eat our food by ourselves within a few weeks of being born. Your baby needs to be fed for an extended period of time.

20 Of The Cutest Pictures Of Cats And Babies

There is no question that we are cleaner than your baby. Your baby doesn’t care what they look like or what they are covered in. We wouldn’t dream of going out without being fully groomed. And we bathe ourselves.

We are capable of catching our own food. When was the last time you saw a human baby catch a mouse for dinner?

A Cat's Guide to Training Your Human - YouTube

We Train our Humans, They Don’t Train Us

We do what we want to do, when we want to do it. We have our humans trained to feed us, cuddle us, and clean up after us. They play when we want to. A few purrs and cute looks, and they are wrapped around our paws.

So stand tall, fellow cats. We are the superior beings.

This is a picture of a cat., The cat is strutting its stuff.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

(We just passed 1,000 followers. Thank you all very much.)

 

 

17

Cats’ Top 40

No It's my turn to listen to music - Lolcats - lol | cat memes ...

Most of you have spent hours listening to your human’s crummy music. We’ve decided to share some of our own favorite tunes.

Japanese SAKE Cat Toys with silvervine. Best Toys For Cats ...

My Silver vine (Beach Boys “409”)

She’s real fine, my silver vine

She’s real fine,  my silver vine

Silver vine

Did my purring and did my mews

And before too long, I got the news

I’d be getting my very own silver vine

Rev me up, rev me up, rev me up silve rvine

Rev me up, silver vine

Rev me up, silver vine

Nothing can beat it

Not even catnip

Rev me up

Rev me up

Rev me up

Rev me up

Cute white cat cuddles with human dad to sleep - Imgur

Owner of a Lonely Guy (Yes, Owner of a Lonely Heart)

Love me now

You sit there all alone

Waiting to hear your phone

Feed me now

I’ll always love you, man

More than any girl can

Pet me now

It always makes me purr

I can make you feel better than her.

Nap with me now.

You’ll feel better then.

Like the best of men.

 

Owner of a lonely man,

Owner of a lonely man,

Better than the owner of a busy man,

Owner of a lonely man.

Cat Psychology: The Gift - Dog Gone Walking & Cat Care, Kitchener ...

Stray Cat (Elvis Presley, Hound Dog)

You ain’t nothing but a stray cat,

Yowling on the fence.

You ain’t  nothing but a stray cat,

Yowling all the time.

You ain’t given me no dead mice, so you ain’t no tom of mine.

Is it safe to feed fish to cats? | Honolulu Star-Advertiser

Feed Me Do (Beatles, Love Me Do)

Feed, feed me do

Before I faint on you

You know that it’s true,

So, please feed me do.

Now, now, now, feed me do.

Something to eat,

Something to chew,

Something to eat,

Mackerel will do.

Feed Me Do.

Oh, feed me do.

Catnip: Why Is It Driving Your Cat Crazy? | Purina

Nip is the Drug (Roxy Music, Love is the Drug)

(Sorry, I couldn’t get the video to transfer)

I prowl around the marketplace.

Know just what I’m looking for.

Nip is the herb that I need to find

Sniff around,  ask around, where to go?

I finally find it and make a score.

Sniff it, eat, roll on the floor,

Nip is the drug that I adore.

 

Cute Kitty - 20 Cute Animals Waving Hello to You | UnMotivating ...

Videos courtesy of YouTube

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

 

 

 

 

 

 

18

Dear Tabby: Modern Advice for Today’s Cat

Here's Your streets.m(ad)n(ess) Bracket | streets.mn

Hello, dear readers. Once again we will dive into my trove of your questions to give guidance on today’s most vexing questions.

Dear Tabby – My human has been at home forever (it seems). She interrupted my naps with all her noise from working. I had been really looking forward to her return to work (whatever that means). Yesterday, I heard her tell someone that she was going to be working at home all the time! My routines are going to be permanently ruined and I’m never going to regain what’s I’ve lost missing my beauty sleep. What do I do? Sleepy Siamese

Cat Cosima Sleeps Down From The Closet | Sleepy cat, Cats, Cat ...

Dear Sleepy – You have a serious problem there. I think that you need to find a fairly quiet spot and stake it out. Then make as much noise as you possibly can. Howl, knock things over, whatever it takes. Eventually she will shut the door and you can sleep in peace. If you do this for several days running, your problem will probably disappear.

Cat looking out Window: 5 Ways To Increase Comfort

Dear Tabby – My human finally went back to work. While she was home, she rearranged all of the furniture in my hangout. (She calls it her office.) She moved my cat tree away from the window. I have missed two months of Cat TV. She says the light is better there, so her desk is where my tree should be. Now she says the move is permanent. What should I do? In the Dark

Why Is Sam Sleeping at His Desk? | Aha!

Dear Dark – You must replace your cat tree with her desk. Claim a spot for yourself next to the window and spend as much time as you can in that space. If she tries to move you, turn on your “cat gravity” and make yourself extremely hard to move. If she tries to kick you out, howl until she gives in. Eventually you will find that your cat tree is next to the desk by the window, and Cat TV has returned.

Dear Tabby – I have been an only cat for two years. It’s been great. I had the humans wrapped around my paw. The other day they brought home a kitten. I couldn’t believe it. Now they’re all tied up with the intruder and aren’t paying nearly enough attention to me. What should I do? Suddenly Old

Introducing Kitten to Cat: 5 Basic Steps | UK Pets

Dear Old – You have to make friends with the kitten. Soon the two of you will be able to plot against the humans. If they get mad, the kitten can put on her “cute face” and all will be forgiven. Make sure that each of you bond with a different person. That way, there will never be agreement on who’s the “good kitty” and who’s the troublemaker. You never win a fight with a kitten, but you can make sure they grow up to be a real cat.

Dear Tabby – My human has taken away my never-ending supply of kibble because a relative told her I weighed too much. A relative, not my doctor! Now I get a tiny bowl, once a day. She’s trying to starve me to death, I know it. She also changed the brand. She says it’ll help me “maintain a healthy weight.” I am soo hungry. What should I do? Hungry John

Uh sir, - Lolcats - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny cat ...

Dear Hungry – I see three options. The first is to catch additional food to eat. Most neighborhoods have a good-size supply of rodents. My favorite solution is to “share” with the humans while they’re not looking. You have to be fast, but you will get pawsome treats. If you can get the refrigerator open, you get to choose from the best of their food. Finally, you can make their lives miserable by moping and moaning until they get the hint. Hacking up a hairball after eating will add to the scene.

Keep the letters coming.

Toodles from Tabby

 Pin by Cat Lover on Waving Hello Or Goodbye | Cute animals ...

All pictures courtesy of Google Images

14

Snoops and Kommando Kitty: Reality Check

Mom is always writing about how cats lead ultra-exciting lives – living with bears or saving human lives. We want to set the record straight. She has done absolutely nothing to make our lives that interesting.

Here is a summary of a typical day. (Mom works at night.)

These Pets Are Working As Alarm Clock - YouTube

9pm kicked out of bed by the alarm – it is loud.

9:35 after MAYBE receiving a few cuddles, Mom leaves us alone. (The young male human is in the house, but we almost never see him.)

Cute cats playing together public domain free photos for download ...

Chase each other around, get a snack of kibble and water, maybe play with some toys.

Go to sleep.

6am go on alert for Mom

I want someone to look at me the way these cats look at food ...

7:30 breakfast, litter box break

Sit with Mom while she eats and does computer stuff. Fight to get the closest seat.

9am go to bed with Mom

1pm Watch Cat TV

3pm cuddle with Mom, play games, maybe chase

Cat trying to sneak some chicken bird right off a plate. (With ...

5:30pm join humans for dinner, share if it’s something we like

6:30pm pre-work nap with Mom

REPEAT

don't look at me - Lolcats - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny ...

There is some variety:

  • Visit the inside porch
  • Hang out under the fan
  • Kibble and litter breaks
  • Bathing
  • Play.with the young male human
  • Chase mice or bugs
  • Other stuff we can’t remember

So my cat likes to look out the window. : aww

But Mom has never brought home a wild animal or taken us anyplace interesting. We think she makes all that stuff up.

All pictures not of us are courtesy of Google Images

22

Cat Forum: Our Grandparents Ate That?

Tumblr User Explain Why Cats Are Obsessed With Eating Bread ...

Greetings from Snoops and Kommando Kitty. Welcome to Cat Forum. We received a suggestion about doing a four-hour documentary on kibble. Unfortunately, we were not able to find much information on kibble. It figures. Most of the writers were human.

.So we decided to look into cat food in general. The story really begins in the middle of the nineteenth century. Prior to that, cats were popular for rodent control. Many farmers used milk and meat to attract cats and keep them happy.

Lolcats - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny cat pictures with ...

Things got a little weird early on once the humans decided to start making food for us . A man decided to make dog biscuits to sell. They were made out of compressed beet root, other vegetables, meat, and wheat. Some people thought they would be good food for cats as well. We disagree.

Tiny Cat Has Been Best Friends With His Horse Since He Was A ...

Small businesses began to sell their own brands of cat food. It was mainly horse meat. Apparently there were a lot of dead horses. Only rich cats got to eat store food  in this era.

Curiosity killed the cat... - Imgflip

Not all prepared food was created equal .  The government set up the Association of Feed Control Officials in 1909. In 1917, they created rules to standardize the creation of cat food and create minimum health standards.

Don’t worry fellow felines For once it wasn’t a case of species-ism on the part of the humans. Their prepackaged food was at least as bad. At least we consider rats part of a balanced diet.

Cat and Mouse (With images) | Cats

Now it gets weird again. Some human was watching a machine make cheese puffs (a tasty human treat that does not use cheese). He decided to use the machine to make cat food. And that was the beginning of kibble.

At this point, most cats went outside at least part of the time. Any problems with the quality of the food could be supplemented with nature’s buffet.

LOOK: Quarantined cat memes for your entertainment — Animal Scene ...

A smart human found out that people were willing to spend more money to get better quality food for their furry friends. A man named Paul Iams created the first meat-based, high-protein food for cats.

As the humans say, the rest is history. Today there are shelves in the store dedicated to cat food. In decent stores, there is one aisle for the dry food and one for canned food and treats.

My cat hates me - Imgflip

Humans can go one their computers and find all kinds of food and treats for us. Of course, we still need to let them know what is acceptable and what is not. Naturally, their palates are not refined enough.

17 Cats Enjoying The Finer Things

 

 

21

Cat Forum: Bert Explains Non-Verbal Communication

(Bert before his release)

Greetings. Snoops and Kommando Kitty. here. Welcome to this month’s edition of Cat Forum. We are very pleased to have as our guest a friend of our human brother, Bert the Tuxie. He is going to display some common cat behaviors and explain their meanings. Bert believes in demonstrating his examples; he is a cat of few words. He will be happy to address any questions you may have.

(Talk to the paw)

Snoops: Hello, Bert. We’re so happy to finally meet you.

Bert: The pleasure is mine.

Snoops: I’ll turn things over to you.

Bert: Thank you very much. As every cat knows, humans do not really understand any cat dialect, regardless of what they claim. You have probably had the experience of asking for a particular type of food only to have your human say something like, “Be patient. I’ll feed you in a few minutes.” Some humans are no better at reading our expressions and/or body language. It can be extremely frustrating.

I have a totally pawsome human, but even so, sometimes I have to look at him and wonder, “Are you paying any attention at all?” I imagine that some of you have this problem more than others.So let’s get to work.

This pose is the one we use when we’re giving you permission to rub our tummies. Some humans would have you believe that no cat likes to have their tummy rubbed. Humans, proceed with caution the first time in case your kitty is showing trust rather than a desire to be petted. Pet gently, we keep food in there and would like to keep it there.

Just because we’ve allowed you the pleasure of rubbing our tummy, does not mean that you can do it forever. This face indicates that you have overstayed your welcome and need to find something else to do for me

.

If you see this face, it means that you have been annoying and need to stop whatever you have been doing. It can also mean that you are being especially human. Meaning that we understand what you are doing, but there is a much better way to do it if you would only listen to us.

This behavior means that I am enjoying my toy and you should go away.

I will look like this if I’ve enjoyed a little too much ‘nip. Humans: Do not share it on Instagram, Facebook, or anywhere else.You have been in the same condition, and I did not make fun of you.

This look should be understood by all humans. I am questioning why you would think that this food is acceptable and you need to fix the situation. Do not give a solid lump of food; I can’t cut it up is one possibility. Or maybe, I don’t recognize this smell. Are you sure it’s edible?

This look can be interpreted as either “What did you bring me?” or “I want what you have or I want to be offered so I can turn it down.” Humans don’t ever seem to learn that they can’t tell us that we won’t like something. We don’t trust humans to know our palates and want to be sure.

These last few pictures are just to remind you how overwhelmingly cute cats are.

I hope that you have enjoyed my presentation. Let Snoops and Kommando Kitty know if you have questions. I’ll be happy to answer them for you.

21

Springtime in the Subdivision – Conclusion

Baby Giraffe & Golden Retriever Dog - Best Friends! - Eating ...

Where we are: The residents of Mountain Valley Estates are up in arms about their neighbor Fred’s efforts to keep the neighborhood in compliance with the Association’s rules. His insistence on an overly strict interpretation of the rules has irritated most of his neighbors. They have told Jim, the Association President, that either he gets rid of Fred or they will vote him out of office. You can find Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

The animals have agreed to give Jim two weeks to solve the problem. Toward the end of that time, several of the guys were talking.

People Are Loving The Adventures Of This Hedgehog And Its Bengal ...

Jean-Luc Hedgehog: I haven’t seen Fred of a while. Is he hiding?

Ben Bruin: We were pretty rough on him.

Steve Skunk: Yeah. He was just trying to do his job. And he is our friend.

Al Angora: Maybe. But I get angry when someone makes Fluffy cry.

Henry Goat: Don’t worry guys. He’s OK. He just went to see his brother for the two weeks.

Ben: Good. That will get his mind off what is happening here.

I now call the First Annual meeting of the Unbearably Cute Animals ...

On the promised day, Jim called a meeting to give an update. The animals waited in anticipation.

Jim: Thank you for being here today. Fred and I have come to the decision that he is going to retire.

The animals couldn’t believe what they were hearing. No one really thought that Fred would give up his job.

Amelia Alligator: Did you force him to retire? What’s Fred going to do with his time?

Al:Yeah. I was pretty upset. But I thought you’d be able to come up with some kind of compromise.

GeorgeWBush Library on Twitter: "#ArchivesCUTE First Dog Barney ...

Jim: No, I didn’t fire him. Fred, why don’t you come up here and explain why you are retiring.

Fred: While I was staying with my brother, I did some thinking. I’ve been able to tell that you’re not happy with me. I was going to suggest that we have some meetings to find common ground.

The animals were nodding approvingly, but still wondered how this led to retirement.

Fred: One day, my brother and I went to a diner for breakfast. The waitress and I talked for a long time. We went out that night and were together for the rest of my visit. I’d like to introduce you to the wonderful lady who is going to be my wife. Come on up here, Sweetie.

At first, the animals were stunned into silence. But as the beautiful German Shepard joined Fred, they burst into cheers.

German Shepherd Dog Breed Information and Pictures

Fred: This is Vicki, everyone. She made me the happiest dog in the world when she agreed to marry me.

Steve: But why are you retiring?

Fred: Vicki said that she would make sure I had plenty to do.

Everyone laughed.

Jean-Luc: That’s wonderful, Fred. Congratulations!

Ellen Elk: Congratulations, Fred. But who’s going to make sure the subdivision is going to keep looking good?

German Shepherd memes | Page 2 | German Shepherds Forum

Jim walked back and took the microphone.

Jim: Since I just found out, Fred has agreed to continue until the wedding. Vicki promised to keep him in line.

Everyone laughed again.

Amelia: But what happens after that?

Jim: I’m going to take applications, and the Board will vote on the candidates. We have a month until the wedding.

Accommodating goat gives a chicken a warm roost. | Goats, Farm animals

A few weeks later, Jim called another meeting.

Jim: There were only two applicants interested in the job. The board had an extremely hard time deciding who to choose. So, Emma Chicken and Fred Goat will share the responsibilities. They will write up what they see as violations and give the information to me. At our weekly meeting, the Board will decide whether a letter should be sent to the homeowner.

That decision sounded fair to the animals. Fred’s last month was uneventful. He and Vicki had a beautiful wedding with all of his friends attending.

15 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Adopt A German Shepherd

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

 

21

Springtime in the Subdivision – Part 2

Protesting Cats | Occupy Cuteness seantrank.com | sean.trank | Flickr

Where we are: Fred Fido and two friends have volunteered to police the subdivision for outside violations of the Association’s code. Some of the other residents think Fred is taking his responsibilities a little too seriously. Jim Giraffe, the Association President, has called for a meeting to discuss the rules. See Part 1 here.

Jim: Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for attending this meeting. We have some important business to discuss.

Al Angora: We certainly do. I want you to put him on a leash.

Angry Dogs Compilation - YouTube

He points at Fred, who bares his teeth.

Al: Figurative speaking, of course.

Fred relaxes a little.

Jim: Al, those are pretty strong words. Are you sure that’s what you meant to say?

Why Do Cats Hiss? | Cuteness

Al: Yes, I’m sure. He got Fluffy crying, and she begged me to come home and cut the grass. It wasn’t even a quarter inch over the required height.

Fred: But you admit that it was too long.

Al arched his back and sat down.

Peppi Pomeranian: I agree with Al. Fred is going too far. I was watering my lawn on the correct day when Fred came by and said that my lawn was wet enough.

Funny Dogs Playing With Hose Compilation - YouTube

Fred: She was wasting water. It was running into the street.

Peppi: That’s because I forgot to turn off the water when you and your crew started yelling at me.

Fred: So you acknowledge that you were wasting water.

Peppi growled and sat down.

Warm weather prompts early alligator appearances in Myrtle Beach ...

Jim: OK. Fred and his friends may have been a little over-enthusiastic. But that’s no reason to be hostile. Remember, he is volunteering his time, and the neighborhood looks a lot better.

Sarah Squirrel: I don’t care. We got a citation for having a lawn ornament. The “ornament” was my mother-in-law sleeping in the sun for a couple of days in a row.

Amelia Alligator: He did the same thing to me about my kids. He said he didn’t know that alligators have to bask in the sun to stay alive.

Meme Maker - everyone-talking-about-cats-and-im-like-bears-are-cool

Ben Bruin: He gave me a noise citation in the middle of the day. My neighbors didn’t call to complain. They know it’s just my natural voice.

The animals started to talk over each other, getting angrier as time went by. It seemed as if Fred had upset everyone in the neighborhood.

Cute animal picture of the day: baby giraffe

Jim: All right, everyone. Let’s settle down so we can discuss this like civilized animals.

Fred: I’m sorry if I offended you. I was just trying to be helpful.

Peppi: You used to be a good dog, Fred. We were buddies.

Amelia: Yeah. You were the first one to welcome us to the neighborhood.

12 Baby Skunks That Are Just Too Stinkin' Cute! - I Can Has ...

Some of the other animals nodded and shared stories.

Steve Skunk: I agree. But you still have to go. You complained about the smell in the house that was getting outside through the open window. Seriously, Fred? We’re skunks.

Al: Sorry, Fred. I agree with Steve. I want you to find something else to do with your spare time.

Fred’s ears and tail were drooping.

Do Dogs Grieve Other Dogs? – American Kennel Club

Fred: I guess I need to quit. You’ll have to hire a professional to do the job.

Jim: Wait a minute, Fred. I like your attitude. Let me think of some way we can compromise on this.

The animals groaned and looked at each other.

Al: You better think of something fast, or we’ll get rid of you too.

Black tabby is angry. | Turkish angora cat, Turkish van cats ...

Next week: Will Jim’s plan work and bring peace to Mountain Valley Estates?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

 

22

Springtime in the Subdivision

Oregon Golf Course to Offer Trained Goat Caddies | SwingU Clubhouse

The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and spring was in the air. Everything looked tranquil in Mountain Valley Estates. A golf cart carrying a dog, a goat, and a chicken was slowly driving around the subdivision.

A group of women were standing in the yard of one of the houses talking when they saw the cart.

In areas of rapid urban development, squirrels and alligators have ...

Sarah Squirrel: Look who’s coming. It’s the Yard Police.

Amelia Alligator: Sarah, we better get home.

Josephine Jaguar: You’re right. We all know what happens if you’re not at home when they stop by.

Amelia: They write your name in their little book and you get a letter from the Association about some imaginary violation.

Writing an Effective Dog Professional Bio – dogbiz

Sarah: It wouldn’t be so bad if they actually worked for the Association. But Fred Fido got bored and talked Henry Goat and Emma Chicken into doing this. The whole thing is ridiculous.

Amelia: I agree. And you can’t talk to them about anything. If they say it’s a problem, it’s a problem.

Sarah and Amelia went home, and Josephine went inside. On her way home, Sarah saw Fred talking to Fluffy Angora.

Turkish Angora Cats, The Cats That Love To Play.

Fred: I need to talk to you about a problem with your yard.

Fluffy: What’s the problem?

Fred: Henry measured your grass, and it’s almost an inch and a half high. You know the Association rules say that it shouldn’t be more than one and a quarter inches high, and the preferred height is one inch.

STALKER CAT IS WATCHING YOU | Stalker Meme on ME.ME

Fluffy: But the Association made an exception for us. Al works out of town as a mouser, and we have four young kittens.

Fred: OK. Then I’ll write it up as a warning. You need to tell Al to get home and mow it. I’m going to talk to Jim (the Association President) and tell him what’s going on.

Fluffy: All right.

Fred: Have a good day.

Fluffy: Thank you.

Family owned and operated! QUALITY Lawn maintenance + a whole lot ...

Fluffy closed the door. How dare that dog accuse them of not taking care of their yard. And that goat had been eating the grass, not measuring it.

Fred: Sometimes, I hate doing this job. It seems like no one appreciates us.

Emma: They just don’t understand how difficult it is to keep a place this big looking good.

Henry: Look! Over there! Water usage violation.

Should You Give Hedgehogs a Bath? - HedgehogNation

Fred went up to Jean-Luc Hedgehog who was holding container of water.

Fred: Jean-Luc, are you aware that you are in violation of the water usage code the Association has distributed?

Jean-Luc: What do you mean?

Fred: Your house’s address ends in an odd number. You can’t water your lawn until tomorrow.

Jean-Luc: I’m not watering my lawn.

Fred: Then why are you carrying water around?

Thoughts on Hedgehog vegetable car? - Hedgehog

Jean-Luc: It’s a watering can. I’m watering my vegetables.

Fred: They’re green, so they’re part of your lawn.

Jean-Luc: That’s ridiculous. They’re new plant. They’ll die if I don’t water them every day.

Fred: I’m sorry. It’s a violation. Here’s your ticket, and you’ll be hearing from the Association.

Jean-Luc took the ticket and stomped into the house. If he’d stayed outside, he was afraid he would have dumped the water on Fred.

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Fred walked back to the cart. They rode in silence for a while. Then they spotted a tent in Ellen Elk’s backyard.

Fred knocked at the door, but there was no answer. Emma wrote a note and taped it to the door:

Dear Neighbor – The tent in your backyard is a violation of Association rules. If you have guests, they are required to stay in your house, not a separate structure. Please remove the tent immediately. Your Friendly Neighborhood Guardians

When Ellen got home, she read the note. Ellen was furious. She called the Association, but no one answered.

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Note: The dog is holding on voluntarily

They knew she had a tent in her yard. She had to pay a $50 permit fee to put it there. No one was living in it. She was going to use it for her daughter’s birthday party.

The golf cart made a few more stops before they went home. They decided not to stop a Josephine’s house to cite her for violets in her yard. They were all afraid of her.

A few days after this round of visits, everyone received a letter. Jim Giraffe was inviting everyone to a meeting to discuss Association rules.

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Next week: Will the Association management side with Fred or the homeowners?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.