23

Cat Forum: Growing Premium Catnip

How Does Catnip Work Its Magic on Cats? - Scientific American

Greetings from Snoops and Kommando Kitty. We have returned with a special edition of Cat Forum. Last week, we were bemoaning the lack of things to do during the winter. This week we have a project for your humans to help you with. What could be more exciting that having your own catnip plant/patch?

Who likes memes? Want to win a tester kit or a bag of a blend of you  choice? | catablissblog

Catnip’s official name is Nepeta cataria. It’s related to mint and lemon balm, and is very easy to grow an maintain. Unfortunately, it can be toxic to cats in large quantities. So if you (or a loved one) tend to overindulge, you will want to grow it in a protected area. We recommend that you have your human do the work while you supervise.

How to grow catnip from seed to harvest

Growing Catnip Indoors

  • It must receive as much direct sunlight as possible. It prefers up to five hours a day. (Plant lights are a possibility if you live someplace that doesn’t get that much direct sun.)
  • It likes the temperature to be between 55-85 degrees Fahrenheit. And like us, it doesn’t like really hot, humid conditions.
  • Catnip prefers to be in soil with average-medium moisture. Don’t keep the soil wet – that can lead to root rot. Don’t panic if it wilts, it will recover.
  • Feed it with weak organic liquid fertilizer every couple of weeks.
  • Cut off budding stems before they bloom. For the average gardener, keep the plant trimmed to a height of 6 inches. You’re looking for a bushy, leafy plant. (It can grow up to 2 feet tall if your human is talented.)
  • The pot needs to be at least 8 inches wide and 8 inches deep with drainage holes. Use potting soil for best results.

Let's plant catnip in the garden they said. It prevents mosquitos they  said. what could go wrong they said. : r/funny

Growing the Most Potent Catnip

If you want really high-grade catnip, you need to grow it outside. You need sandy soil. Your human may also want to consider burying pots of it rather than just spreading the seeds, because it is what humans call “invasive.” (We’re really not sure what’s wrong with having a yard full of catnip, but apparently it bothers some humans.)

Here’s the recipe for top-notch catnip straight from the University of Maryland:

  1. Plant the seeds 1/8″ deep in 10-inch pots filled with a mixture of coarse river sand, moist sphagnum peat moss, and sterilized loam (include 4 tablespoons of dolomitic lime for every gallon of the mixture.) Germinate for 10-20 days at 61-74 degrees Fahrenheit.
  2. Water until water runs out of the pots. Spray the soil 3-4 times per day to keep it moist. (Outside it will require the equivalent of 1 inch of rain per week.)
  3. Dig holes 12-18 inches apart for each pot after the frost has passed.
  4. Thin the seedlings so only the healthiest ones remain.
  5. Place tomato cages around the seedlings to prevent animals from digging them out.
  6. Watch for webbing on the bottom of leaves (a sign of spider mites). Remove spider mites with spray from a water hose.
  7. Pinch back the shoot tips to create thick plants. Cut the main stem to 1 inch above ground after each bloom. Pinch off spent flower heads to inhibit the spread of seeds.
  8. Pull off the leaves from the cut stems or pinch them from the growing plant. Dry in a paper bag for 1-2 weeks before using.

Catnip Buds Field Close Up | Catnip, Field, Fields

What is the most potent part of the plant?

The active ingredient in catnip (Nepetalactone) is found in the essential oil. The oil is found mainly in the pistil (the bud). So make sure you have plenty of buds mixed in with your stems and leaves.

Catnip and other feline favorites in the garden

How do we help keep the plants insect- and disease-free?

Remove dead or dried leaves regularly.

Catnip and Its Effect on Cats, Dogs and Humans - Promega Connections

How do we grow bushy catnip plants?

After flowering, cut the plants back to no higher than 3-4 inches above the ground (you can go as low as 1 inch). It will grow back in a couple of weeks.

Is catnip safe for cats?

How long does it take to grow catnip?

Seeds generally sprout within 5-10 days, but may take up to 20 days if you’re planting outside and it’s still chilly. The plants should be thinned to 18 inches apart when they are 2-5 inches high. You can start harvesting after 12-15 weeks.

Can Cats Eat Catnip? Here's What You Should Know About the Herb

Fun Fact – According to one report, catnip is more effective than DEET in repelling mosquitoes. It was shown to be 10x more effective than standard mosquito repellents according to a paper at the 2001 American Chemical Society annual meeting.

24

Tuesday Morning Catnip Anonymous (CA) Meeting

Catnip memes | StareCat.com

Pete was nervous. It was his first time at a CA meeting. He wasn’t even sure he belonged. He was really more of a silver vine guy. He got a cup of tuna juice and sat near the back of the room. There were quite a few cats already waiting. By the time the meeting started, there were almost 20 participants. Pete had no idea there were so many cats with ‘nip problems.

Leader: Welcome, kitties! We’re glad to see so many of you here. A couple of new faces and a couple that we haven’t seen for a bit. Would anyone like to start us off?

Two Cats Cuddling | Holistic Vet and Pet Nutrition Journal

Jonah: Hi, I’m Jonah. And I’m addicted to catnip.

Group: Hi, Jonah!

Jonah: I’ve had a pretty good week. I met a girl named Tina at the fish market. We went for a walk. I think she likes me.

Leader (nodding): That’s great, Jonah! Did you have any nip issues?

Jonah: No, it was great. She never touches the stuff.

No, Cats Should Never Drink Wine or Beer - Catster

Leader: Who’s next?

Sarah: I’m Sarah. And I’m addicted to catnip.

Group: Hi, Sarah!

Sarah: I finally broke up with my boyfriend, Tim. He was a really bad influence. He kept insisting that niptinis weren’t the same as eating catnip. I told him that all catnip is a problem for me. He really isn’t supportive, so I decided to move back home.

The other cats clapped for her.

Is Catnip a Cat Drug? - Meowy Janes

Mel: Hi, I’m Mel and I’m addicted to catnip.

Group: Hi, Mel!

Mel: This is my first time here. I went to a party on Saturday night and woke up under the table. I decided that it was time to get my habit under control.

Leader: Welcome, Mel. We’re here for you. I’ll help you find a mentor and get started on the program. Let’s take a short break.

The leader took Mel aside and introduced him to a couple of other cats. The remaining cats got up and wandered around. A large cat walked up to Pete.

10 Cat Breeds That Are the Most Affectionate

Cat: Hey, I’m Carl. I haven’t seen you here before.

Pete: Hey. I’m Pete. It’s my first time. I’m a little nervous.

Carl: Don’t worry about it. we’ve all been there. What brings you in?

Pete: Honestly, I’m here because I told my wife I’d come. She had a bag of ‘nip that I got into.

Carl: One time? That doesn’t sound so bad.

Pete: That’s what I thought.

Carl: Was it a lot?

9GAG Cute - Cats high on catnip is my favorite thing By... | Facebook

Pete: She got it for a party.

Carl: Oh. A big party?

Pete: It was for a weekend away. It probably wouldn’t have been an issue except I kind of fell asleep in the middle of the table.

Carl: Oh.

Pete: And I might have gotten a little testy when she tried to move me.

Carl: Oh.

Pete: And I got really agitated when I saw some flashing lights. I might have growled a little.

Carl: Oh. But it was just the one time?

Our And Our Neighbor's Cats Found Catnip And Cat.exe Stopped Functioning  (30 Pics) | Bored Panda

Pete: Pretty much. Except when we walked past the lady’s garden, and I refused to leave.

Carl: What lady?

Pete: A human in our neighborhood grows catnip for the local cats. She gives it away. I don’t think she minded that I moved in for a couple of days. My wife said I embarrassed her.

Carl: Well, if it was intended for everyone….

Pete: I only stayed a couple of days. She didn’t have any real food. I had to go home to eat. My wife thinks I have a problem.

Can Cats Eat Catnip? Here's What You Should Know About the Herb

Carl: Ummmm.

Pete: I’m not really sure I belong here. Talking about it, I think I just had a couple of bad experiences. I’m really glad I had a chance to talk to you.

Pete finished his juice and left.

Photographer Takes Hilarious Photos of Cats on Catnip

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

32

Treats for the Perfect Kitty Halloween

Cute Black Cat Halloween Wallpapers - Top Free Cute Black Cat Halloween  Backgrounds - WallpaperAccess

Greetings from Snoops and Kommando Kitty. We are sure that some of your humans are planning Halloween parties this weekend. And more holiday parties will be coming over the next few weeks. We want to make sure that you are not forgotten when the goodies are prepared. (Some humans are amazingly selfish when it comes to their own treats and just will not share.)

Best Cat Costumes For Halloween 2020 | POPSUGAR Pets

Most of these treats are really easy to make, so don’t let your human tell you that they don’t have the time or energy. It’s the least they can do for you in return for all you do for them. These treats can all be stored in the refrigerator for up to a week in an airtight container or frozen for longer storage.

Gladstone Veterinary Clinic. Cat Treats

Kitty Kisses (from Kerrie Rageth at allrecipes.com)

Ingredients: 1 teaspoon catnip, 1 can cat food

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
  2. Combine catnip and cat food in the blender.
  3. Puree until smooth.
  4. Spoon into a small bag and cut a hole in the corner.
  5. Squeeze 1/2-inch “kisses” onto a parchment paper-lined baking sheet.
  6. Bake for 15 minutes.

Can Cats Eat Carrots? - All About Cats

Carrot and Catnip Kitty Cat Treats (from Tina Verrelli at epicuricloud.com)

Ingredients: 2 tablespoons coconut or olive oil; 1 1/4 cups flour (plus additional for rolling dough); 1 tablespoon dried catnip (optional); 3/4 cup finely shredded carrot; 1 large egg, lightly beaten; cold water (as needed)

  1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
  2. Mix 1 cup of flour and oil in a medium bowl.
  3. Stir in catnip and carrots.
  4. Add in egg. Adjust consistency with water or flour if necessary. It should hold together but not be too wet and sticky.
  5. Roll or pat dough to 1/4-inch thickness. Sprinkle dough with additional flour, if needed.
  6. Prick dough all over with a fork. Cut into 1/2-inch squares with a pizza wheel.
  7. Arrange squares on a parchment paper-lined baking sheet.
  8. Bake approximately 12 minutes (until they start to brown).

Pumpkin for Cats - How and When to Use It - PetGuide

Pumpkin and Salmon Kitty Bits (from Tina Verrelli at epicuricloud.com)

Ingredients: 1 1/4 cup oat flour; 5 oz. salmon, drained; 1 large egg, 1/4 cup pumpkin puree

  1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.
  2. Break the salmon up with a fork, chopper, or blender.
  3. Combine 1 cup oat flour, salmon, egg, and pumpkin in a bowl. Mix by hand or with an electric mixer until a dough forms.
  4. Turn dough onto parchment paper-lined baking sheet.
  5. Roll or pat dough to 1/4-inch thickness. Sprinkle with addition flour, if needed.
  6. Prick dough all over with a fork.
  7. Bake for 15 minutes.
  8. Remove from oven and cut into small pieces.
  9. Spread out the pieces and bake for another 15-20 minutes (until crunchy).

Our cat trying to steal cheese : r/AccidentalRenaissance

Tuna & Cheddar Whisker Biscuits (from Tina Verrelli at epicuricloud.com)

Ingredients: 1 can water-packed tuna, drained; 1/3 cup shredded cheese or finely grated carrot, 1 egg, 1 1/3 cup oat flour (plus extra for dusting); 1 tablespoon dried catnip (optional); 1/4-1/2 cup cold water

  1. In a food processor or blender, mince the tuna and cheddar to a fine texture.
  2. Pulse together the egg, flour, and catnip.
  3. While running on low, add enough water to form a ball.
  4. Divide the ball into 4 smaller balls, wrap in plastic, and refrigerate for 30 minutes.
  5. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
  6. Sprinkle a little flour on the work surface. Roll each ball into a long “snake.” Cut each “snake” into to small pieces and roll into a chick pea-size ball. Flatten with a fork.
  7. Bake on a parchment paper-lined baking sheet for 10-15 minutes to desired texture.

Why Do Cats Like Fish?

Purr-fect Kitty Salmon Treats (from Tina Verrelli at epicuricloud.com)

Ingredients: 1 egg, lightly beaten; 1 tablespoon oil, 6-8 oz. canned salmon, drained with liquid reserved, 1 1/2 cups oat flour, 1/2 cup old fashioned oats, 2 tablespoons brewers’ yeast, 1 tablespoon dried catnip

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
  2. Whisk together egg and oil in a medium bowl.
  3. Break up salmon with a fork and add to the egg mixture.
  4. Use mixer with dough hook to add flour, oats, yeast, and catnip.
  5. Slowly add salmon liquid until a stiff dough forms.
  6. Form into 1/2-teaspoon balls, press down onto parchment paper-lined with the tines of a fork.
  7. Bake 10-13 minutes until dry on top, but slightly soft on the bottom.
  8. Cool completely on baking sheet.

Fritz the cat wants to eat all of my cheese and crackers! : r/cats

Meow-ums Kitty Crackers (from Tina Verrelli at epicuricloud.com)

Ingredients: 2 tablespoons coconut or olive oil; 1 cup flour (plus additional for rolling dough); 2 tablespoons brewers’ yeast (optional); 1 tablespoon dried catnip (optional); 3/4 cup shredded cheese or finely shredded carrot; 1 large egg, lightly beaten; 2 tablespoons cold water

  1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
  2. Combine oil, flour, and yeast in a medium bowl.
  3. Add in catnip and cheese.
  4. Mix in egg and add water 1 tablespoon at a time until a dough forms.
  5. Roll the dough into 1/4-inch thickness (dough may need to be wrapped and refrigerated for an hour if it is too soft to work with).
  6. Cut dough into 1-inch squares with a pizza cutter.
  7. Arrange squares on parchment paper-lined baking sheet and prick with fork.
  8. Bake for 12 minutes or until starting to brown.
  9. Cool on baking sheet.

5 Hidden Dangers To Cats on Halloween – Meowingtons

Ed. Note: Upon further review of these recipes, we would like to note that very nice treats may also be purchased from Chewy, Temptations, and other vendors. Purchasing treats rather than baking them does not indicate any lower level of love or devotion.

Happy Halloween! - Poorly Dressed - fashion fail

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

15

The RHCCC: Talent Show – Part 1

The World's Most Famous Library Cat | Cats, Cat books, Bookstore cats

You can see the introduction to The Real House Cats of Crabapple Cove here.

Fluffy loved her position as the unofficial social director of Crabapple Cove. The only real downside was that it seemed like half of her life was spent trying to raise money for one worthy cause or another. She liked to try innovative ideas, but sometimes they just didn’t work.

3 Reasons Why Cat People Are The Best Kind Of People.

One example was the mess she was looking at just now. Someone had suggested a mini carnival to raise money for the Crabapple Cove Public Library. Living in Maine, she had some concerns about the weather so they were holding it in the high school gym. Fluffy had attended a private school. She didn’t realize that high school gyms have a “special” smell. Luckily, she seemed to be the only one who noticed.

The Dangers of Strings, Ribbons, and Yarn for Cats

On the other hand, why had she allowed the yarn-ball pit? It had seemed like a good idea when someone suggested it. Large balls of yarn in a huge basket for the kittens to jump around in. She didn’t have kittens. How was she supposed to know that they would start jumping on top of each other? Or that their mothers would get so upset that their little puff-balls got jumped on?

Lolcats - whack a mole - LOL at Funny Cat Memes - Funny cat pictures with  words on them - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny cat pictures with

Whack-a-Mouse wasn’t going as planned either. What type of weirdo would assume that she was going to provide real mice for them to wallop?

Image result for cat meme i heard the word snacks | Cats, Cute animals, Pets

The snacks seemed a little off too. Who knew that Mousie Krunchies wouldn’t have real mouse in them? Or that some people would expect high-grade free-range poultry in the moist treats? Everyone knows they are the best, but we’re trying to make money. Those snacks are really expensive.

Tumblr User Explain Why Cats Are Obsessed With Eating Bread | Bored Panda

The baked-goods table was a disaster. She finally had to kick out the kid who kept licking the cream off the salmon mousse. And who knew that you couldn’t have catnip-infused cookies inside a public school? Strangest of all, why did some of them think their entry ticket entitled them to a free snack of their choosing?

Cleaning the bathroom | Cat work, Cat memes, Cats

Fluffy went over to talk to Bella, who had been taking tickets.

Fluffy: This is a disaster.

Bella: I’m afraid you’re right. One of the moms is threatening to sue over the yarn-ball pit.

Daphne and Miki walked up.

Daphne: Don’t worry. I took care of that. She was fine once her kitten stopped crying.

Miki: You’re still not going to make much. Once word got out about the snacks and ‘nip, cats decided they didn’t want to bother coming out.

Bella: What do we do now?

Fluffy: Let me think about it. Right now, we need to make sure everything is cleaned up. I don’t think I ever want to see this room again, but I don’t want them banning me either.

My cat sleeps constantly, when should I worry? | Memphis Emergency Vet

Fluffy went home and slept for a few hours. When she woke up, she had an idea that she chatted to her friends:

Image - 27970] | Itteh Bitteh Kitteh Committeh | Know Your Meme

Brainstorm! Remember that little screech owl who auditioned for us a while ago? She sang horribly, but was so sweet we wanted to help her somehow? I’m going to put on a talent show for the library. Maybe she can connect with someone who will help her. Round up everyone you know with an actual talent, and we’ll get things rolling.

KKPS: a talent show? - Lolcats - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny cat  pictures with words on them | funny pictures | lol cat memes | lol cats

Come back in a month for the talent show.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

20

Christmas Gift List: 2020 Edition

18 Perfect Cat Christmas Presents | PetCareRx

Since so many humans are on limited budgets this year, we decided to make an exception to our usual listing of gifts we deserve and give you a list of unique gifts. We got them from Etsy, so they are a little different from the usual offerings.

Rosa Rodents – $20.99 for 3 pack

There isnt a better cat toy. Price includes USA shipping of 3 image 0

Not only incredibly fun to play with, these mice are so realistic looking that you can drop one on your human if they are slow getting out of bed to feed you. You will definitely get a reaction.

Cat Hammock – $149

Cat hammock  New Moon Cat Bed Or. edit. Cat furniture image 0

Fluffy and warm, this is the perfect hammock for the colder weather. Put it in front of the fireplace and you’re set for those long winter naps.

Cat Cave – $32.30

FeltnPet Cozy Cat Cave-Strawberry Cat Bed-Felted Cat image 0

Someplace soft and warm to get away from the hustle and bustle of your busy everyday life. And you will look incredibly cute.

Catnip Joints Cat Toy (3 pack or 5 pack) – $14 for the 3 pack

Catnip Joints Cat Toy 3 pack or 5 pack image 0

If you have a human who enjoys smoking whatever, now you can join them with your herb of choice. Note: Do not let your human smoke these. They are for play only.

Mystery Box – $17

Mystery box for cats Cat toy mystery box Cat gift box image 0

You get 3 toys, but you don’t know what they are until you open the box. It will take the pressure off your human to find a variety of toys.

Valerian Cat Toy – $9.75

Happy Cats Valerian cat toy large valerian toy jouet chat à image 0

Feeling a little stressed? This toy is perfect for you. A kicker toy filled with prime valerian root.

Wooden Cat Tree – $239

Mau  Wooden Cat Tree Unique Cat Trees Wood Cat Tower Cat Brown

Fur and wood. What more could a cat ask for in a tree? Get a manicure then take a nap.

Pampered Cat – 1Funny.com

 If you don’t see anything you like, there are about a million (Mom says that’s what you say when you didn’t count them but there’s a lot) catnip toys and kickers in different shapes. If you still don’t like anything, you can ask Mr. Google for “Gifts for the Pampered Cat.” That’s where the really good stuff is.

Xmas Presents | Cat christmas gift, Christmas cats, Cat gifts

All product pictures courtesy of Etsy and the pages referenced. All cat pictures courtesy of Google Images. We have not tried any of these products.

32

Snoops and Kommando’s Guide to Halloween

Halloween Safety for Cats

It’s that time of year again to start preparing for Halloween. Of course, this year will be a little different, with social distancing and all. Your gathering may be a lot smaller than in years past.

Pin by Michael E. Porter on  Animaliiiiii...mistiiiiiiiiiiii...insetti...roditori...eccetera..eccetera...  | Cute animals, Animals, Cats and kittens

Don’t let that stop you from having a great time. You can still break out the niptinis and mouse puffs. Some berries would be fun. And don’t forget the pumpkin (you can eat it after the party.) Helpful hint: If you don’t have enough mouse, you can substitute any finely chopped meat.

Cat drinking game. Every time they say "here kitty" you have to take a drink.  - Lolcats - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny cat pictures with words on

You’ll need to make the niptinis ahead of time. All you need to do is put a couple of pawfuls of catnip in a pot of boiling water. Turn down the heat and let it simmer for 5 minutes. Repeat for every two guests. Remove it from the stove and refrigerate.

Can Cats Drink Tea? Find the Purrfect Tea for Your Feline Friend

Just before the party pour the niptinis into bowls. Be sure everyone gets some of the leaves. The fortuneteller will need them later.

Ten Pictures of Cats Reading Books Trying to Educate Themselves

As you know, we refuse to wear clothing of any type. Therefore, we are not offering any suggestions for costumes. However, we hope that you will not go as any type of food or a dog. Too embarrassing.

Mods asleep upvote cat dressed as dog. #dogs #pets #dog #Adopt #love #cute  #animals #puppy | Cute cat costumes, Cat costumes, Cute cats

Some cats have a dance contest. If you want to do this, we recommend that you wait until the ‘nip has had a chance to work. Most cats don’t like to dance.

Untitled | Interpretive dance, Funny dance quotes, Dancing cat

Another idea is a seance. If you do try to reach a departed relative, avoid the ones who talked constantly or were whiners. You’re supposed to be having fun.

Coworker threw a b-day party. For her cat. | GBCN

Whatever you do, have a great time this year. And remember, if you need to distance from a stranger, it’s three body-lengths of the average cat or two body-lengths of the bigger breeds.

Practice social distancing in 2020 | Cat diy, Cat items, Cats

All pictures courtesy of Google Images

21

Cat Forum: Bert Explains Non-Verbal Communication

(Bert before his release)

Greetings. Snoops and Kommando Kitty. here. Welcome to this month’s edition of Cat Forum. We are very pleased to have as our guest a friend of our human brother, Bert the Tuxie. He is going to display some common cat behaviors and explain their meanings. Bert believes in demonstrating his examples; he is a cat of few words. He will be happy to address any questions you may have.

(Talk to the paw)

Snoops: Hello, Bert. We’re so happy to finally meet you.

Bert: The pleasure is mine.

Snoops: I’ll turn things over to you.

Bert: Thank you very much. As every cat knows, humans do not really understand any cat dialect, regardless of what they claim. You have probably had the experience of asking for a particular type of food only to have your human say something like, “Be patient. I’ll feed you in a few minutes.” Some humans are no better at reading our expressions and/or body language. It can be extremely frustrating.

I have a totally pawsome human, but even so, sometimes I have to look at him and wonder, “Are you paying any attention at all?” I imagine that some of you have this problem more than others.So let’s get to work.

This pose is the one we use when we’re giving you permission to rub our tummies. Some humans would have you believe that no cat likes to have their tummy rubbed. Humans, proceed with caution the first time in case your kitty is showing trust rather than a desire to be petted. Pet gently, we keep food in there and would like to keep it there.

Just because we’ve allowed you the pleasure of rubbing our tummy, does not mean that you can do it forever. This face indicates that you have overstayed your welcome and need to find something else to do for me

.

If you see this face, it means that you have been annoying and need to stop whatever you have been doing. It can also mean that you are being especially human. Meaning that we understand what you are doing, but there is a much better way to do it if you would only listen to us.

This behavior means that I am enjoying my toy and you should go away.

I will look like this if I’ve enjoyed a little too much ‘nip. Humans: Do not share it on Instagram, Facebook, or anywhere else.You have been in the same condition, and I did not make fun of you.

This look should be understood by all humans. I am questioning why you would think that this food is acceptable and you need to fix the situation. Do not give a solid lump of food; I can’t cut it up is one possibility. Or maybe, I don’t recognize this smell. Are you sure it’s edible?

This look can be interpreted as either “What did you bring me?” or “I want what you have or I want to be offered so I can turn it down.” Humans don’t ever seem to learn that they can’t tell us that we won’t like something. We don’t trust humans to know our palates and want to be sure.

These last few pictures are just to remind you how overwhelmingly cute cats are.

I hope that you have enjoyed my presentation. Let Snoops and Kommando Kitty know if you have questions. I’ll be happy to answer them for you.

14

Cat Forum: A Day at the Spa

Image result for relaxed cat

Greetings. Snoops and Kommando here. Thanks for joining us here for this month’s Cat Forum. Today we’re looking at the important issue of how you can de-stress after a hard day of supervising the neighborhood, hunting, and looking for the perfect napping spot.

Image result for cat massage

One of the best ways to relax is to get a massage. Some cats find a human to do this. If you are looking for a human, you need one who uses their whole hand. It feels like extremely good cuddles.

Some humans use their fingertips. They call it acupressure; we call it prodding. However, many cats report that after the prodding, they do feel a lot better.

Image result for cat massage

We prefer a cat-to-cat massage. No one knows where our stress points are better than another cat. And when they’re done, you don’t need to worry about being dumped on the sofa afterwards. You can just relax and take a nap.

Image result for catnip meme

Some of you say ‘nip is relaxing. We don’t want to recommend it here, because it excites as many kitties as it relaxes. Of course, most kitties do fall asleep after the excitement. So, it probably is relaxing.

Image result for catnip meme

If you do choose to relax with ‘nip, make sure you get it from a reliable trader. Some cats have reported finding oregano and other herbs mixed in. That is definitely not relaxing.

A couple of good, long stretches are good for relaxing. Remember to hold the stretch momentarily to get the most out of it. If you are an active hunter, you may associate stretching with hunting. In that case, we do not recommend trying to relax this way.

Image result for cat listening to music

Some kitties like to relax with music. We recommend something in the classical realm, with lots of soothing strings or piano. Do not listen to that current human music with the loud crashes and human yowling. It will cause you more stress than you currently have.

Image result for cats chasing each other meme

If the source of your stress is a housemate, there are two ways to deal with it. Our preferred method is to chase them out of the area. Not only will the running help you de-stress, you no longer have to deal with the source of the stress.

The other alternative is to find a quiet space of your own. However, if you’re stressed because someone has invaded your quiet spot, you’ll need to have several back-ups. Pests can usually find you.

Image result for cats napping

 Last, but not least, is a nice, long nap in a warm spot. We recommend a blanket, a sunny spot, in front of a fire, or in your bed. Do not use a human lap. Just about the time you get settled in, they will decide it’s time for a snack.

Talking about all of this relaxation is making us sleepy. Purrs and snuggles from Cat Forum.

14

Cat Forum: The Purr-Fect Gift

Image result for cat under christmas tree

Greetings Fellow Felines. Snoops and Kommando Kitty here. It’s time once again for us to give gift suggestions for the holidays. But unlike last year’s list of gifts for the well-to-do cat, this year we have ideas for you to gift your human. (We know it’s backwards, but we do try to be humorous once in a while.)

Does your human like to work in the garden? Do they come in smelling of dirt (or worse)? Do they complain about you leaving “deposits” among their flowers? Are the tables and counters full of fresh veggies part of the year?

Maybe a gardening companion:

Image result for pot-bellied pig

Or a new plant:

Image result for cat in catnip

 

Does your human like to dress up? Do they leave you alone a lot while they go out?

How about a fancy companion:

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Or some new  clothes:

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Does your human like to do crafts? Knit? Crochet?

Maybe their own living pincushion:

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Or some nice fabric:

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Does your human sleep a lot? When you want to eat? When you want to play?

Maybe a pillow buddy:

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Or some new bedding:

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Haven’t seen anything good?

In that case, we recommend the gift no cat-owned human can resist:

Image result for cat snuggling with owner meme

All pictures courtesy of Google Images.

10

Feral Purrfessional – Part 4

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Where we are: Katie Kitty has been given a scholarship to Mid-America Animal Tech where she will study providing medical care to the feral cat population. She has discovered that one of her professors is her roommate’s father. Rose is much calmer about leaving Katie since she met the Professor. You can read the beginning of the story here.

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After the first day of school.

Katie: That was tough. I can’t believe how much homework we got on the first day.

Elise: And we have two quizzes on Friday!

Katie: Cats’ vital signs and the systems in the cat’s body.

Elise: Guess we better get started.

Katie: Can you believe some of the cats are going to a nip party tonight? It’s not even the weekend.

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Elise: I know. Maybe they don’t know how hard the program is.

Katie: Did you see that cute boy cat that was looking at you?

Elise: How could I miss him? Every time I turned around he was there.

Katie: Did you talk to him?

Elise: Yeah. All he wanted to talk about was my father, the professor.

Katie: That stinks.

Elise: It’s OK. I’m used to it.

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Katie’s phone rings.

Katie: Hi, Mama. How are you?

Rose: How was your first day of school?

Katie: Great! I think I’m going to like it here.

Rose: Were you OK after we left?

Katie: Yes, we were fine. (Rolls her eyes.)

Rose: What are you doing now?

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Katie: We’re getting ready to study.

Rose: OK. I won’t keep you. Say hello to Elise and her father. Talk to you tomorrow.

Katie: Bye, Mama.

Katie looks at Elise.

Katie: She is going to drive me crazy. I think she’s going to call every day. She says hello to you and your father.

Elise: She just misses you.

Katie: I guess. But I don’t think I’m going to be doing anything very interesting every day.

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Elise: She seemed to like Daddy. I’ll see if he has any ideas.

Katie: That’s a great idea. Thank you!

They decide to go to the cafeteria and eat before studying. After salmon mousse and cream, they return to their room and work until bedtime. The next afternoon, Katie gets another call.

Katie: Hi, Mama. How is everybody?

Rose: We’re all fine. How are you?

Katie: I’m good. Elise and I are going to see a movie tonight. Take a break after studying.

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Rose: You’re not going to be out after dark are you?

Katie: I’m a cat. Dark doesn’t bother me.

Rose: But it’s not safe.

Katie: Don’t you remember what Professor Khatt told you? It’s perfectly safe here. Besides, it’s just down the block.

Rose: OK. But call me when you get home. I want to make sure you’re safe.

Katie: All right. I’ll talk to you then.

Katie disconnects the phone.

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Katie: Meowsers! She is crazy. I have to call when we get back. Did you talk to your dad?

Elise: I almost forgot! He said that he would call her tonight and explain how distracting it would be for you if she called every night.

Katie: I hope he doesn’t hurt her feelings.

After the movie, Katie calls her mother.

Katie: Hi, Mama. We’re home. All safe and sound.

Rose: That’s nice dear. I hope you enjoyed the movie. I got the nicest call from Edgar. He told me that you are adapting well, and I don’t need to worry so much. He is going to call me every Friday to let me know how things are going. He suggested that you call me once a week since you will be very busy. I think Monday.

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Katie (confused): Sure, Mama. Mondays will be fine. Are you sure you’ll be ok with once a week?

Rose: Oh, yes. I don’t want to interfere with your studies. Love you.

Katie: Love you too.

Katie disconnects the call.

Katie: Your father is a magician! I only have to call once a week.

Elise: How’d he manage that?

Katie: He’s going to call her every week to reassure her.

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All goes well for several weeks. Everyone is making plans for the Thanksgiving break. Katie is talking to her mother during the weekly call.

Rose: Edgar tells me you’re doing very well in school.

Katie: So far, everything is fine.

Rose: Did you know he and Elise will be spending Thanksgiving alone?

Katie: She says that’s the way they always do it.

Rose: Well, I think it’s terrible. So, I invited them down here.

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Katie (in disbelief): Really, Mama? I don’t think it’s a good idea to spend that much time with one of my professors. It would look strange.

Rose: Don’t be silly. Cats shouldn’t be alone on holidays. Besides, you can spend your time with Elise.

Katie: I guess, Mama.

Rose: It’s set then. You can all take the train down on Wednesday.

Katie disconnects the call.

Katie: That’s weird. She invited you and your father for Thanksgiving.

Elise: That sounds like fun. I’ve never been south.

Katie: I’m so glad you’re going to be there.

Image result for cats on thanksgiving

Rose makes a huge Thanksgiving dinner with an entire turkey. The kittens love Edgar. He has brought some of his cat models down and plays with the kittens. On Sunday, Rose drops Edgar, Elise, and Katie at the station.

Elise: Thank you, Mrs. Kitty. I had a wonderful time.

Rose: You’re very welcome. I enjoyed having you.

Katie: I guess this wasn’t as weird as I thought it was going to be.

Rose: I told you everything would be fine.

Edgar: You were a wonderful hostess, Rose. I’m so glad you invited us.

Rose: Thank you, Edgar. I’m looking forward to seeing you both at Christmas.

Edgar: We’ll see you then. I’m planning special gifts for both you and Katie.

Katie and Elise look at each other.

Next week: The finale. What is going to happen on Christmas?

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