18

Mac the Magic Mouse

cat studying - Perth Cat Hospital

Jerry was getting more and more frustrated with his algebra homework.

Jerry: Who cares which train is getting to Topeka first? I’m a cat, for crying out loud. We don’t even ride trains.

He was starting to doodle on his paper when he heard a slight rustling in the corner. Naturally, he had to see what was making the noise. He stalked over and sat in a crouch, waiting.

How to Deal with Mice in the Walls - Bob Vila

Suddenly, he pounced and came up with a plump mouse.

Mouse: Put me down!

Jerry was startled. He dropped the mouse and put his paw on its tail.

Mouse: That’s a little better. Now release me.

Jerry: I’m not going to release you. You’re just the right size for a snack.

150 Adorable Pet Mouse Names | LoveToKnow

Mouse: You can’t eat me. I’m Mac the Magic Mouse.

Jerry: Right.

Jerry started to scoop up the mouse.

Mac: Stop! I can prove it! Have you ever met a talking mouse?

Jerry:  Dude, we’re cats. Most mice aren’t dumb enough to come into our house.

Can cats do logic? | plus.maths.org

Mac: Fair enough. I’ll prove I’m magic. Let me help you with the math.

Jerry hesitated. Mac did look really tasty. But it seemed rude to eat someone he had been talking to. Besides, he didn’t want to spend all night with the stupid trains.

Mac: OK. This train from Newark is going to get there in 6 hours, but the one from Phoenix would only take 4.5 hours.

Jerry: Are you sure? Or are you just trying to get away?

Mac: Of course I’m sure. What’s next?

Cute cat and mouse friendship 2 years apart - Imgur

The little mouse worked on the math for several minutes before Jerry’s mom called him for dinner.

Jerry wasn’t sure what to do with Mac. He had never heard of magic mice. What if he could escape?

Mac: Since you’re going to be eating, I’ll get going too.

Jerry: Sorry, little buddy. But I need you to finish helping me. If you’re really magic you’ll be useful for all sorts of things.

Cats as dinner guests | Worms & Germs Blog

Jerry put Mac in a drawer and went to eat. When he was finished with dinner, Jerry got the little mouse out again.

Mac: Am I dessert?

Jerry: Don’t be silly. I told you that I need you. Let’s finish the homework.

Mac quickly did the algebra. He was also helpful studying chemistry. The next day, Jerry discovered that Mac had done everything perfectly.

Jerry: You are magic! The teacher said it was the best work I’ve ever done!

I'm so glad to see you! | Excited cat, Cats, Crazy cats

Mac: I told you! Aren’t you glad you didn’t eat me? So I can leave?

Jerry: Of course not! Why would I release a magic mouse? What else can you do for me?

By the next afternoon, Mac was getting pretty nervous. He had been sure that he would be able to slip out while Jerry was at school, but the drawer was more secure than he realized. Jerry was being nice to him, but he was a cat. It was only a matter of time before something would trigger his natural instincts.

Jerry: Hi, Mac! Another great day at school! I think I’m beginning to get the hang of algebra. You really are magic! What else can you do?

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Mac: Umm. It’s nothing really. You just needed some confidence. You don’t really need me around. It’s probably time for me to get going.

Jerry: Don’t be ridiculous. I have big plans for you. The spring dance is in a couple of weeks, and I want to ask Buttercup. She totally ignores me, but I’m sure that you can get her to go with me. It’s pawsome having my own magic mouse!

Mac (smiling nervously): Sure, buddy.

Mac had no idea what to do, so he went back to his drawer and began to pace.

Adorable :): | Cute animals, Unlikely animal friends, Animals friendship

Next week: Will Mac be able to work some magic on Buttercup or will Jerry discover that he’s just a really smart mouse?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

 

 

24

The RHCCC: Auditions

Image result for maine coons watching

The ladies of the Real House Cats of Crabapple Cove  were working on the annual fundraiser for the Crabapple Cove Center for Abandoned/Feral Cats. Fluffy was in charge of the dinner, and she had asked her friends Miki, Daphne, and Bella to come so she could get other opinions.

Image result for dogs doing tricks

One of the most important things to do was to set up the entertainment. They hadn’t been happy with their choice the previous year. It had been a troupe of dog acrobats. They were recommended by a friend of Bella’s at the library and their videos looked great. The night of the dinner, they told Fluffy that  one of the members was sick and they had brought a backup. The backup dog hadn’t performed in a while and mostly stood on stage looking confused. Several parts of the routine had to be scrapped. It was a disaster.

This year Fluffy had decided to hold live auditions rather than taking a referral. They had narrowed the field to three candidates who looked promising: a singing owl, a pair of ballroom-dancing bears, and a gorilla who played the piano.  

Image result for eastern screech owl cry

First up was the owl. She was smaller than they were expecting. That was a good thing since they did not want to scare the donors with a huge raptor in the house. No one had ever heard an owl sing before, but her video had sounded excellent.

Fluffy: What are you going to sing?

Owl: An owl love song.

Fluffy: Sounds good. Did you bring music?

Owl: No, it’s just me.

Fluffy: You can start whenever you’re ready.

Image result for cats hearing a loud sound

The owl cleared her throat and started making the most horrible sounds they had ever heard.

Bella: That’s worse than any cat fight I’ve ever heard.

Daphne: I’ve never heard anything like that down at the docks either.

Fluffy held up a paw to stop the owl.

Image result for cat talking meme

Fluffy: Honey, what type of owl are you?

Owl: I’m a screech owl. Why?

Fluffy: That singing was pretty bad. Are you sure that’s what you want to sing for an audition?

Owl (flustered): I’ll try another one. It’s an owl folk song.

Image result for cats hearing a loud sound

The cats sat back waiting for a melodic serenade. Instead, they got the same horrible sound as before. Once again, Fluffy held up her paw. 

Fluffy: Sweetie, that just doesn’t sound like the video you sent us. Do you have a sore throat or something?

Owl: Honestly?

Fluffy: Of course.

Image result for cat covering ears

Owl: I really wanted to perform here, so I had a nightingale sing on the video. I thought she would sound better.

Fluffy: That’s definitely true. But you must have known you would have to sing for yourself if you got an audition.

Owl: Yes, but I thought I would sounds better live and you would  like the song.

Fluffy: Let us talk it over. Please have a seat for a moment.

Image result for cats talking to each other

The cats whispered to each other.

Daphne: There is no way I am recommending her. She sounds like she’s getting ready to attack something.

Miki: I agree. She’s scary.

Bella: Sorry, but I can’t listen to her any more. She’s worse than the dogs.

Fluffy called the owl back to the stage.

Image result for frustrated cat meme

Fluffy: I just don’t think it’s going to work out. Some of our guests are pretty sensitive and it wouldn’t be right to have a raptor as our entertainment.

Owl: I understand.

She sadly walked off the stage and out the door. The ladies looked at each other in relief. Hopefully the other two acts would be better.

They were not disappointed. The bears danced a beautiful waltz, and the gorilla played Mozart. It was decision time. With the performers backstage, the cats discussed which one would be better for the dinner.

Image result for gorilla playing piano

Miki: I liked the gorilla. And I don’t think anyone would be intimidated by him.

Daphne: I really don’t think folks will be afraid of dancing bears. They’re very sweet when they talk.

Bella: Do we have enough money to hire both of them?

Fluffy: I could probably make it work. I’ll make up the difference if we’re short.

Daphne: Isn’t that going to be an awfully long program?

Image result for two bears dancing

Once again the cats conferred.

 Miki: I agree that we don’t want it to run to long. Do you think they might work together?

Bella: That’s a great idea.

Daphne: Are you sure you want to do that? They don’t even know each other. It might turn out like last year.

Fluffy: I don’t think we’re going to agree on which one to hire, so let’s see if they’ll work together.

Image result for bear with gorilla

She called all three entertainers back out and explained their idea. The bears and gorilla held a conversation among themselves.

Bear: We think it could work. We would need a recording of what we will be dancing to.

Gorilla: I can provide that. This idea actually is pretty interesting.

The bears nodded.

Bear: We really think it could be impressive.

Image result for bears dancing

They decided on a Strauss waltz. The gorilla sent the bears a recording of him playing the piece. They all got together several times before the performance.

Their hard work paid off. They were wonderful the night of the dinner. The night was a huge success; donors pledged more than they ever had. Afterwards, Fluffy thanked them for their performance.

Image result for thank you cat meme

Fluffy: That was totally pawsome! Thank you so much for helping us out tonight.

Bear: It was our pleasure.

Gorilla: Actually, it worked out so well that we’re talking about working together in the future.

Fluffy paid them, and the three of them walked out together.

Image result for cats watching

RHCCC is supposed to run the second Saturday of the month, but our typist got confused. We bought her a calendar.

All pictures courtesy of Google Images.

32

Snoops and Kommando’s Guide to Halloween

Halloween Safety for Cats

It’s that time of year again to start preparing for Halloween. Of course, this year will be a little different, with social distancing and all. Your gathering may be a lot smaller than in years past.

Pin by Michael E. Porter on  Animaliiiiii...mistiiiiiiiiiiii...insetti...roditori...eccetera..eccetera...  | Cute animals, Animals, Cats and kittens

Don’t let that stop you from having a great time. You can still break out the niptinis and mouse puffs. Some berries would be fun. And don’t forget the pumpkin (you can eat it after the party.) Helpful hint: If you don’t have enough mouse, you can substitute any finely chopped meat.

Cat drinking game. Every time they say "here kitty" you have to take a drink.  - Lolcats - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny cat pictures with words on

You’ll need to make the niptinis ahead of time. All you need to do is put a couple of pawfuls of catnip in a pot of boiling water. Turn down the heat and let it simmer for 5 minutes. Repeat for every two guests. Remove it from the stove and refrigerate.

Can Cats Drink Tea? Find the Purrfect Tea for Your Feline Friend

Just before the party pour the niptinis into bowls. Be sure everyone gets some of the leaves. The fortuneteller will need them later.

Ten Pictures of Cats Reading Books Trying to Educate Themselves

As you know, we refuse to wear clothing of any type. Therefore, we are not offering any suggestions for costumes. However, we hope that you will not go as any type of food or a dog. Too embarrassing.

Mods asleep upvote cat dressed as dog. #dogs #pets #dog #Adopt #love #cute  #animals #puppy | Cute cat costumes, Cat costumes, Cute cats

Some cats have a dance contest. If you want to do this, we recommend that you wait until the ‘nip has had a chance to work. Most cats don’t like to dance.

Untitled | Interpretive dance, Funny dance quotes, Dancing cat

Another idea is a seance. If you do try to reach a departed relative, avoid the ones who talked constantly or were whiners. You’re supposed to be having fun.

Coworker threw a b-day party. For her cat. | GBCN

Whatever you do, have a great time this year. And remember, if you need to distance from a stranger, it’s three body-lengths of the average cat or two body-lengths of the bigger breeds.

Practice social distancing in 2020 | Cat diy, Cat items, Cats

All pictures courtesy of Google Images

21

Cat Forum: Valentine’s Day

Image result for valentine cat

Snoops and Kommando here. Thank you for joining us for another edition of Cat Forum. As you may know, Friday is Valentine’s Day. Yep. Another day for humans to give presents to each other. As cats, we welcome presents any time. This year we’re giving the humans some ideas about special ways they can spend time with us.

Image result for cat cafe meme

Kommando: I’m going to ask Mom to take us to a cat café.

Snoops: Why do you want that?

Kommando: I want to order a salmon steak.

Snoops: That’s not what a cat café is. They have people come in and look at cats, possibly to adopt them.

Kommando: That’s dumb. French cafes are for French people. Italian cafes are for Italian people. Why can’t cat cafes serve food to cats?

Image result for cat cafe meme

Snoops: I don’t know. People are strange.

Kommando: That’s for sure. How about if she rents that “Cats” movie? It’s full of cats, right?

Snoops: Sort of. It’s a bunch of people dressed up like cats. And they sing.

Kommando: Do they really look like cats?

Image result for cat singing meme

Snoops: I don’t think so. They use human faces.

Kommando: That’s really creepy. What do you think we should do with Mom?

Snoops: I found this site called Elite Daily that has some ideas:

Image result for cat watching tv

Game Night – The human is supposed to spend the whole night playing with us. She’s even supposed to buy each of us a new toy.

Watch TV – We’re supposed to cuddle up with Mom and watch that big black screen in the corner of the living room. The people at Daily Elite recommend something called Planet Earth on Netflix. It seems like any show with a lot of animals in it might work.

Cat Treat Baking Party – The human is supposed to make fancy treats for us and then feed them to us. They recommend the human find recipes on YouTube under “Cat Treat Recipes.

Image result for cat fort meme

Build a Cat Fort – The human is supposed to get boxes from work or packages that come to the house. Then the night before Valentine’s Day, they secretly build a fort to surprise us with on Valentine’s Day.

Cook a Special Dinner for Two – The human makes a dinner that we like. Then we sit down at a special table and eat it.

Dance Around to Our Favorite Songs – She finds recordings of our favorite songs and then we dance together.

Image result for cat dancing meme

Kommando: I don’t know. A couple of them sound a little weird.

Snoops: You’re right. I’m not sure any of them would work for us. I can’t see game night really working out. You hog all the toys.

Kommando: I can’t help it if I’m better at it.

Snoops: Whatever. Mom never has the TV on. I’m not sure she knows how to use it.

Image result for cat helping meme

Kommando: We could get our fur-less brother to set it up. Dad used to use it.

Snoops: If that’s what they want us to watch, forget it.

Kommando: I think our shows wouldn’t have so many people in them.

Snoops: I don’t see the point in the cat treat baking party or building a fort. They both sound pawsome, but I don’t see where we get to spend time with Mom.

Image result for cat eating meme

Kommando: I agree. The dinner for two sounds good. But I want to be with Mom, not at a special dinner.

Snoops: I’m not sure how it’s different from when Mom shares her dinner with us.

Kommando: True. I hate the idea of a dance party. I don’t want Mom dancing around with me in her arms. And I don’t have favorite songs; I don’t like music.

Snoops: So what should we do with Mom on Valentine’s Day?

Kommando: I like the idea of an extra-long nap with her on the bed warmer.

Snoops: Great idea!

Pictures courtesy of Google Images