Tag Archives: toys

29

Ahh Spring! Tis the Season for Shedding

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Greetings. Snoops and Kommando (and Sgt Stripes) here. Monday is the spring equinox which means it’s the first day of spring. And spring means more sunlight here in Michigan. And more sunlight means more shedding. None of us are extremely fluffalicious, but Mom swears she could build a new cat out of the excess fur this time of year.

The last thing we need is another cat, so we decided to research productive ways to use it. It’s so beautiful on us, it seems like such a waste to just throw it away. Here are some of the best ideas we came across.

Cute Cat Wearing A Scarf Will Make The Post-Christmas Slump More Bearable | HuffPost UK Life

Knitting

If your human is willing to wear a sheep, why shouldn’t they wear a cat? The first step is to spin it, then card it, then knit it. Our fur can be turned into mittens, scarves, or even sweaters. It can be a fully do-it-yourself project with instructions from a book or video, or your human can send your fur out and have it sent back as either yarn or a completed project. Imagine being able to sleep on a blanket of your own fur!

DIY: Needlefelted Cat Toys - collage

Felting

If your human isn’t quite ready for all that knitting, maybe they can make your fur into a felt project. They just need to be able to clean your fur then roll it into a ball. They stick the ball with a need a bunch of times to get the fur to knot itself together, then they shape into whatever they want. There are books and videos with instructions. They can make felted toys, ornaments or jewelry. Your human can also find folks online who create felted jewelry from cat fur. Imagine how attractive your human would be wearing beads of your fur!

Felted Feline Fun Cat Toys infused with Catnip - Bear Creek Felting

Toys

If your human isn’t crafty enough for felting, maybe they’d still like to use your fur to make you some toys. All they have to do is roll a bunch of your fur into a tight ball or rod. Then they can throw it for you. But be careful you don’t swallow the toy. (We’re not too sure about this idea. It kind of reminds of us of hairballs.)

Is there fish in your pet's food? Chances are it's contaminated with crap | Poisoned Pets | Pet Food Safety News

Fishing Flies

If your human likes to fly fish (that is fishing for fish with flies not fishing for actual flies), your fur can help! They can use your fur for part of the fly. Tips can be found online. Make sure they share the fish with you. It’s only fair since it’s your fur attracting the fish.

Create a cat garden that you and your cat will love

Gardening

Who knew? Our fur is excellent for plants. Fur helps retain soil moisture and keep roots hydrated which helps regulate the temperature. As the hair disintegrates, it will release nitrogen which is good for plants. It is like an organic fertilizer. Hair takes a while to disintegrate, so it’s probably best considered a long-term fertilizer. In fact, it may be a season or two before they see the results. Fur is completely compostable, so your human can add it to the compost pile too and fertilize the whole garden or lawn.

Cat lounging in a birds nest. : r/pics

Share with the Birds/Small Animals

Most birds and animals that build nests love having a little fur to soften things up a bit. Your human will need to leave a bunch of it in the branches or thickets outside for the critters to gather. Or they can mix it with a bit of suet. (Bonus: They can put the bowl where you can watch the critters gather the fur.) Needless to say, you will not be able to help with this project. (Apparently birds have a pretty poor sense of smell and don’t realize where the fur comes from.)

Own Cats? Watch Those EVs! - Carolina Tails Magazine

Help Clean Up Oil Spills

Matter of Trust, a San Franciso-based non-profit, collects clean pet fur donations to create oil-absorbing hairmats and hair-stuffed containment booms (made from pantyhose). They are not always collecting, but they continue to use the mats and booms. Your human could make their own mat for use with small spills around the house or garage.

How To Manage Your Kitten's Shedding | BeChewy

Mom says that she isn’t sure she really wants any more cat hair around the house in any form, but maybe your humans will be more receptive.

Pictures (not of us) courtesy of Google Images

 

24

Sgt Stripes Reporting for Duty

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Hello, everyone! My name is Sgt Stripes, and I am the new cat in the house. I moved in three weeks ago after my surgery. They said they had to “fix” me. Pretty insulting if you ask me. I think they actually broke me. The doc said I was going to need a couple of weeks to recuperate fully. I was up and exploring by that night.

I was supposed to be separated from the lady cats (Snoops and Kommando) for two weeks while I healed and then introduced. It didn’t work out that way. I got loose after a couple of days and ran downstairs. I woke up Snoops. She was not pleased. I’ve never seen a cat that fluffy. She sounded really mad too.

Then I got out and met Kommando. I tried to walk up to her, but she ran away from me. She hid under the bed. I didn’t even get a chance to introduce myself. I hope she’s not really afraid of me. I didn’t chase her or anything. And I didn’t make any noise.

So they’ve been letting me stay upstairs during the day and in my room at night. I really like it here. I have my own full-size bed. They have a cat-size bed too, but I’m not sure who’s supposed to be staying in that one. They gave me some kind of blanket that warms up. I really like it since it’s gotten kinda cold. There are all kinds of places to jump on. And lots of windows to look out. But it’s kind of boring all by myself.

I have a big fish that I play with, but my favorite is something that Mom calls a “puffy.” I guess humans put soap in them and use them when they take a bath. It’s the perfect size for me to pull on the edges and use as a kick toy. Humans take weird baths. I thought water was just for drinking. I’ve discovered that I really like toilet paper. It shreds like crazy. It’s the perfect workout for my claws. For some reason, the humans don’t like having it all over the room.

The food is pretty good. I get wet food in the morning, and kibble at night. I haven’t seen any mice or voles on the menu yet. I’m hoping that I’ll get a shot at fresh meat soon. I tried some of my brother’s pasta today. Human food is fun, but some of it doesn’t taste very good.

The humans spend quite a bit of time with me. I like humans. They cuddle and pet me. I had to learn not to try to eat Mom though. She got really fussy when I tried gnawing on her arm. Head bonks seem popular. And humans are nice and warm! I like the computer too. But I haven’t figured out how to catch the animals in there.

I learned how to turn on the ceiling fan. The cord is long and I can pull it from my bed. The only problem is, that makes the room kind of cold. Mom said something about getting a different cord. I haven’t really had a chance to check out all the cool things on the top of the dresser yet.

I tried going downstairs again this evening. Snoops seemed okay with it. Not thrilled, but she stayed normal-size. Mom says tomorrow’s the day for the formal introduction. She’s going to bring in a huge catnip plant to distract the other cats. I’m going to have full run of the house. I can’t wait.

18

Thunder Katt: Best of Baby

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Hello everyone! It’s Thunder, and I have a special post for everyone today. About a year ago, Mom and Dad got us a human kitten (we did so good with him, they’re bringing us another one soon)! At first, we were really nervous, because we heard human kittens were loud, stinky, and messy- yuck! While all of these have proven to be true, he also proved to be more trainable than the adults (he already gives tummy rubs!) and he comes with some really cool things that cats everywhere can enjoy. So without further ado, here is the 2021 Best of Baby, as voted on by Angel, Onyx, and me!

Baby Carrier

This has proven to be a wonderful asset to our house. Despite it smelling like the human kitten, a cat can curl up for a nap, play with the straps, or cuddle with the human kitten if he’s still in it. As an added bonus, there’s often a soft blanket tossed in it to keep everyone warm!

Some Baby Foods

I need to start by emphasizing the “some” part of this, as babies tend to eat yucky foods like green beans and peas. However, they also drink this wonderful concoction called “formula” (our human kitten has to drink the dairy-free version due to an allergy, but it still tastes good). They also have cereals that some kitties may enjoy. And, we recently discovered that older babies get meat mixed in their purees. Just really sniff before licking, as there are some very gross flavors out there.

Car Seat

Much like the carrier, these seats are padded and soft, and make great nap spots. You can also sit on them and watch cat TV. However, be careful, as ours stays in the car if it doesn’t need to be washed, and you don’t want to get stuck on a car ride.

Packaged Diapers

I will start by saying these diapers must be clean, and preferably in the package. Once they are used, diapers move to the top of the worst of baby list. However, in the package, diapers are soft but firm, making them good to lounge on. If you can get a clean one by itself, they make decent targets for hunting practice. I would not advise napping on the pack of diapers, as you’ll be disturbed far more frequently than acceptable. Human kittens go through too many diapers for the effort of curling up for a good nap. 

Crib

This seems like an obvious choice. It’s a human kitten bed! These are preferable for bed time in the summer, as most human kittens don’t sleep with fluffy blankets until they’re older (feel free to switch back to your big human bed in the winter). Just make sure you get to the crib before the baby so you get the best spot. 

Baby Swing

These act much like carriers, but you can have your human turn them on so they move and vibrate! Some play music, but that’s just annoying. Avoid pouncing in them, as the swinging motion will upset your balance and make you stumble. 

High Chair

There are several advantages to this human kitten feeding center. First and most obvious, you can get food! However, they also have trays you can sit on and receive pets from the human kitten (make sure the tray is clean prior to sitting). Many have storage nets attached to the bottom where you can nap. And, if nothing else, you can sit in the seat and claim your rightful spot at the table. 

Play Mats and Pens

This is where you’re most likely to get one-on-one time with your human kitten. You can lounge by yourself and enjoy the daily sun, or you can cuddle up to your human kitten. You can also use these to teach proper hunting technique, or to get some tummy time in. And, if they have a play pen, you can store your mousies in there. 

Stroller

I see this more as a lounger, since that’s what I do in it, but if your big humans insist on using it to stroll with the human, make sure you get the most use out of it when it’s collapsed inside. Otherwise your humans may try to push you around, which will impair your natural feline independence. 

Walker

Again, I think of this more as a sitter… humans are quite odd in their namings. You can sit in the comfortable fabric seat and swat at the attached toys for hours of fun and play! 

Toys

Human kittens have tons of cool toys to swat around! Balls, little cars, stuffed animals, things with pushy buttons and moveable parts… and they’ll usually play with you! I’ve been able to train my human kitten to play paws through his desire of pushing a ball back and forth with me! 

Boxes

Every cat loves boxes! And luckily for us, we found out that everything for babies comes in boxes (and usually has foam wrapping as an added bonus)! As soon as the item is removed, jump in the box to claim it. You’ll be so cute, your big human won’t have the heart to get rid of the box, and soon you’ll have a great selection to hide in when you need a break from the human kitten!

I hope you’ve enjoyed Best of Baby, Thunder K. Katt style! Please note that this list was not printed in any particular order, and everything on this list has been tested and approved by 3 cats of different ages. If you have a human kitten in your life, best of luck to you with raising them; and if not, enjoy your quiet and peace!

Furs and purrs,

Thunder Katt 

24

Cat Forum: Interview with Twilight and Sushi

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Greeting furry felines (and their non-furry companions). We have a special treat for you. We want to introduce you to two of our newest friends, Twilight and Sushi. They are the owners of the blog How to Train Your Humans. We’d like to nominate that for the best blog title ever! The blog is cat-tastic too, so head over to take a look.

The interview starts with an introduction, then moves on to questions.


 Twilight:  I’m Twilight, and I was born in the Can Opener’s back yard while Shrimp was still alive. 
For the first 6 months I was still feral- living in the back yard with the rest of the litter and my human was taking care of us. She looked after us and tried to keep us warm in the cold, wet, winters and cool and fed the rest of the time. 
When we were weaned from our Mother, she found homes for my 3 sisters – (one Siamese like me, but not as cute), and two solid black kitties)- but I had wandered off and couldn’t be found when the person came to take my sisters home. Shrimp had already been the established queen of the house, and she used to hiss at me when I came to the back door with my mom to eat. My human would gently tell her to leave us alone and she made sure Shrimp never got the pleasure of shredding me.  
My mom was still so feral, at that time, my human had to put food down and disappear before mom would go near the back door to eat- and if anyone was there she would watch warily from under a bush until the coast was clear.  The human had called a TNR cat rescue place and they trapped Mom and got her checked out by the vet, spayed, and gave her shots- and they tried for a month to find her a home. But Mom wouldn’t have it. So they brought her back to our yard and my human still takes care of her. Now, she will sit on the back porch, and let my human put a dish down in front of her (within inches of her) and then she eats and no longer runs away. But she still won’t come inside- even though its always wet and cold out.
But while we were still baby kittens nursing, when my mom would go hunting – the human used to pick me up and clean out my eyes because they were all icky- so I learned not to be afraid of her. So when my sisters were adopted and I was gone, I came back about a week later because there was a bad rainstorm and it was freezing outside and dark, and there had been inches of rain nonstop for those several days, I was so wet and cold and my fur was pink from the bloody flea bites. A neighbor saw me and brought me to the human, and she thanked him and brought me inside (Shrimp protesting constantly)- Shrimp was really mad at the human, but she told Shrimp she wasn’t going to put “this poor baby” back out in the rain and cold. Then she clipped my claws and bathed me in warm water with flea shampoo and rubbed me with coconut oil and declared me part of the family. I haven’t spent a night outside since. I instantly became spoiled and pampered even though Shrimp objected. 
Shrimp eventually got used to me (she was pampered too)- and we even got to be friends. But one morning Shrimp woke up and wouldn’t eat. And she wasn’t breathing right. We took her to the vet hospital, but there wasnt’ anything they could do to save her. Our human was heart broken- I’d never seen her cry before and I thought she’d never stop crying. I had to do something to help.  
So I put a call out on ‘Catbook’ to find another tortoiseshell kitty for my human. She had always said she loved Torties because of their cattitude and quirkiness, so I thought if I could find her another Tortie, it would be like giving her Shrimp back and then she’d stop crying.
Then I heard about Sushi so I made sure the human’s grown critters found out about her because I knew I’d need their help to bring her here.


Sushi: Hi! I’m Sushi! I’m so happy! I was once very happy as a kitten, but when I got older, my previous human didn’t want me anymore. She wanted to travel to far away places and I was often left alone for a really, really long time- or, left with people who didn’t really want me there and didn’t talk to me or play with me or cuddle me. I was the only kitty, so I didn’t even have sisters or brothers, or furry friends to keep me company. And, you know, you can only get so much entertainment out of a stuffed mouse and empty toilet paper roll, and bored spiders.
One day I heard my human talking with a family member and she was saying she didn’t want me anymore and was going to have me put down! I wanted to LIVE! I’m a good kitty, and I’m not sick or anything (but I am old)- I just wanted a place to feel loved and safe and wanted… 
And then the family member my previous owner had talked to decided she couldn’t just let me get put down. She took me to her house and tried her best for 8 months to find me a home. Nobody wanted to take me because I’m not a kitten- and I’m old. 
But right when I had lost all hope, the phone rang – and excitement rose in my cute little kitty heart as I heard the end of the conversation that said…”Oh! She WANTS HER? Great! I’ll get her and her things together and meet you after work!” The next thing I knew, I was being put in a carrier (which actually scared me a little)- and put in a car, and after a log trip, I heard a very friendly voice comforting me- it was the daughter of the woman who wanted to keep me! 
I only know her as “The Critters’ Mom” (that’s what Twilight calls her)- but Twilight had explained to me that she had heard about me and wanted me to meet her Can Opener so she set the whole thing up and then the Can Opener’s Grown Critter brought me to her house. Ever since I got here, I’ve been so happy and pampered! I’m not afraid and lonely any more!! And by the way, this November I turned 13 years old! 
Now I spend my nights cuddled up next to the Can Opener, all tucked in and warm instead of by myself. In the mornings, I’m the Can Opener’s lap kitty while she has her coffee and prays- then I play with Twilight and the little Critters until they go home and I’m brushed and pampered! 

Is there an alpha cat or are you guys more “Live and let live”?
Sushi: We both are typically very easy going cats. Twilight would rather play than fight, so she isn’t a challenger by any means. She just wants to get love and play. She’ll hide if she feels threatened. But since coming here, I’ve become an Alpha Cat! It has taken me 13 years to get this happy, and NOBODY is going to steal my human’s affection or take my place!

Sushi, does it bother you being named after a food?

Sushie No, it doesn’t make me nervous being named after food- I LOVE FOOD!!! (I’m 16.9 lbs of lovable cattitude).

Do you go outside or is it strictly Cat TV?
Twilight: Oh, no cat tv for me! I’d much rather be out hunting mice, chasing ducks and squirrels and fishing in the stream behind my house! I also love gardening in the neighborhood flower beds, annoying birds, and harraasing the psycho kitty next door.

Sushi: CAT TV, BABY! By the time the grand-critters go home, I’m all played out! (popcorn, please).


Have your humans been driving you nuts since the lockdown?

Sushi:  Are you kidding me? I’ve had so much cuddles and attention now, I’m going to hold them “Locked down” forever!

Twilight: Oh, my Can Opener’s cuddling gets a little annoying after 18 hours of following me around with a camera- but as long as she remembers how to open the cans and the back door, I’m good.

What is your favorite thing to do?

Twilight: Present the human with freshly caught mice. I just love her reaction- she loves it so much, she just can’t contain herself. Especially when I present them to her for breakfast in bed!

Sushi:  My favorite thing to do is cuddle in the human’s lap in the mornings when she has coffee and prays. It’s a pawsome way to fall asleep (my next favorite thing to do)!


Do you have any favorite Human food?

Twilight: Yes! I love REDI WHIP and egg, and salmon!

Sushi: Tuna!! and Chicken- and CHEESE!! 


How do you stay warm in the winter? 

Twilight:  Well, I got used to being cold when I was feral- I don’t like it, but I just go out and conquer the world anyway, then come inside and cuddle up on my bed (which is conveniently placed in a nook on the human’s desk right under the heater)!

Sushi: I go out and sit in the sunbeams until I use the neighbor’s fence post for a scratcher, then snack on a few bugs, then come in and snuggle up on the couch with the Can Opener. And if she tries to get up before I’m ready, I growl and hiss at her!


We heard you are related to Shrimp (of Hairball Express fame). Does it bug you that humans seem to find that important?

Twilight:  Oh no- not at all- Shrimp wasn’t happy when I first came along, but we (secretly) became friends. And now, it’s all about cute little ME -(Okay, Sushi too).

Sushi: Oh no, it doesn’t bother me. It’s very flattering to know that Twilight and the humans sought me out because I would be another kitty like her! She was the model of the purrfect Tortie- in fact, The Can Opener says since I’ve come here, it’s like Shrimp came back from Heaven- only now (she’s a “JUMBO SHRIMP!’ Mol! 


Is there anything else you’d like to say?

Twilight: Yes,would you open the door?

Sushi: Yes, I’m hungry. It’s been a whole 15 MINUTES since I ate!

Hope you enjoyed it.

Merry Christmas - Huntingdon Health and Rehabilitation Center


Editorial Note: Sincere apologies for being late. We had many technical difficulties with the several-month-old Chromebook. The last issue was with WordPress magically turning our classically edited post into a block edited post when we added the pictures. It looks OK at our end. Hopefully it gets to you in the same condition.

20

Christmas Gift List: 2020 Edition

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18 Perfect Cat Christmas Presents | PetCareRx

Since so many humans are on limited budgets this year, we decided to make an exception to our usual listing of gifts we deserve and give you a list of unique gifts. We got them from Etsy, so they are a little different from the usual offerings.

Rosa Rodents – $20.99 for 3 pack

There isnt a better cat toy. Price includes USA shipping of 3 image 0

Not only incredibly fun to play with, these mice are so realistic looking that you can drop one on your human if they are slow getting out of bed to feed you. You will definitely get a reaction.

Cat Hammock – $149

Cat hammock New Moon Cat Bed Or. edit. Cat furniture image 0

Fluffy and warm, this is the perfect hammock for the colder weather. Put it in front of the fireplace and you’re set for those long winter naps.

Cat Cave – $32.30

FeltnPet Cozy Cat Cave-Strawberry Cat Bed-Felted Cat image 0

Someplace soft and warm to get away from the hustle and bustle of your busy everyday life. And you will look incredibly cute.

Catnip Joints Cat Toy (3 pack or 5 pack) – $14 for the 3 pack

Catnip Joints Cat Toy 3 pack or 5 pack image 0

If you have a human who enjoys smoking whatever, now you can join them with your herb of choice. Note: Do not let your human smoke these. They are for play only.

Mystery Box – $17

Mystery box for cats Cat toy mystery box Cat gift box image 0

You get 3 toys, but you don’t know what they are until you open the box. It will take the pressure off your human to find a variety of toys.

Valerian Cat Toy – $9.75

Happy Cats Valerian cat toy large valerian toy jouet chat à image 0

Feeling a little stressed? This toy is perfect for you. A kicker toy filled with prime valerian root.

Wooden Cat Tree – $239

Mau Wooden Cat Tree Unique Cat Trees Wood Cat Tower Cat Brown

Fur and wood. What more could a cat ask for in a tree? Get a manicure then take a nap.

Pampered Cat – 1Funny.com

 If you don’t see anything you like, there are about a million (Mom says that’s what you say when you didn’t count them but there’s a lot) catnip toys and kickers in different shapes. If you still don’t like anything, you can ask Mr. Google for “Gifts for the Pampered Cat.” That’s where the really good stuff is.

Xmas Presents | Cat christmas gift, Christmas cats, Cat gifts

All product pictures courtesy of Etsy and the pages referenced. All cat pictures courtesy of Google Images. We have not tried any of these products.

21

Cat Forum: Interview with Blondie’s Cats

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Snoops and Kommando here. Welcome to another edition of Cat Forum. A few of you might remember that we have two human siblings, one female and one male. The female moved out a couple of years ago, and we don’t see much of her. But she has the good sense to be living with several cats (as well as the additional humans required to serve the cats). We wanted to talk to our new-found nieces and nephews. None of them complained about her, so she must be doing OK.

Maya

Tell us a little bit about yourselves.

Angel: I’m Angel. I happen to be an adorable muted calico with tons of energy and a huge appetite. I love playing with both humans and other cats, but no one seems to appreciate my creativity or fun.

Spaz: I’m Spaz. Everyone says I’m spoiled, but I’m a diva, so no less is acceptable. Also, isn’t being spoiled part of being a diva?

Maya: I’m Maya, a very sweet but shy plus sized cat. My favorite motto is “if I fits I sits”. I’m very dark, so I hide unintentionally quite often.

Onyx: I’m Onyx. I’m a jet black cat, but I bring no bad luck. I’m verrrrrrryyyyyyyy sweet and cuddly, and my appetite is as big as my heart and love of cuddles.

Patches: I’m Patches. I’m a very vocal and social kitty with a slight fur loss problem. But my lack of fur makes me just that much more lovable.

Patches

How well do you all get along?

Angel: I think my playmates and I get along quite well. They always run when I play chase, and Onyx loves to wrestle! The hissing and growling emitted by Maya and Patches must come from the frustration of being older and not as fast And flexible as I am.

Spaz: These young cats are loud and irritating. Also, they seem to think my food dish is a public buffet.

Maya: Everyone but that Angel cat is okay. Angel is a tad too rough for my taste.

Onyx: I’m a fairly docile cat, so I get along with everyone until someone *cough cough Angel* gets too rough or growls at me first.

Patches: The other cats are okay. I’m not a fan of too much action, so I try to avoid them at times.

Onyx

We hear that you live with a lot of humans. Do you get enough space to do cat things like sleeping in sun puddles and watching cat TV through the windows?

Angel: Luckily the blonde girl likes blankets and soft stuffed animals, so there’s plenty of nap spots. Sadly, there is limited access to windows, though I can always climb the curtains and watch special episodes of cat TV.

Spaz: Yes, I get to spend most of my day lounging. In between attention time and meals, of course.

Maya:I have a table that is right under a window, so I get a decent amount of time  doing cat activities.

Onyx: When I’m alone I do. However, when other cats or people are around, I prefer their company to lounging.

Patches: I certainly do. My favorite spot is on the kitchen table, where the sun shines directly.

Angel

Do you have a favorite human or do you think they’re all annoying?

Angel: My buddy is Ryan, AKA the big gamer dude, although Blondie “Victoria” is tolerable. But the other two fight a lot, and lock me out of their room at night, so nip to them.

Spaz: My human is Ryan. Everyone else is good for pets, dish refills, and nothing else.

Maya: Melissa is my human, and by extension, that means I’m stuck with Jeremy as well.

Onyx: Victoria is my primary human- she makes the best piece of human furniture. The others are okay, but I don’t want to share my human, so that rules them out.

Patches: Jeremy is cool. He remembers to feed me at night, at the very least.

What do you like to do with your human? Do you get enough time doing it?

Angel: I love to climb him, and we play hide and seek a lot. He also likes to play chase me away from the wire toys his TV offers. Aside from that, his lap is pretty comfortable. I don’t think we do it enough, but he insists two or three hours is enough with his work and family schedule.

Spaz: I like to watch YouTube videos with him, and receive cuddles. Also, lately, I’ve enjoyed seeing how loud I have to meow before he replies.

Maya: I like to see how long they can hold their breath by sticking my tail and/or butt on their faces. Also, I like rearranging their room under Jeremy’s supervision. I don’t get to do it as much as I sleep, though.

Onyx: I like to train her on dish refilling times and different types of cat cusines, especially those from a trash can. I also love cuddling and riding on her shoulders. Sadly, she has to spend eight hours at “work” to keep me in kibble. Aside from that, I’m usually around her.

Patches: I like to bowl with objects on the kitchen table. I’ll knock them over, wait for him to fetch them, then knock them over again. We do this every night!

What’s your favorite game/toy?

Angel: I have a little blue Mousie I found in Spaz’s cache that I love, and I also have a squeaky mouse that keeps Ryan up at night. Also, the humans brought home pizza one night, and there was a really neat white triangle in the box that I adore.

Spaz: I have a boa toy Ryan and I play with that I love.

Maya: I like wires and balls with bells.

Onyx: I like climbing, And I’m a fan of string.

Patches: Aside from bowling, I like those plastic bags Walmart has.

Spaz

Do you have a pet peeve/something that really annoys you?

Angel: I’m not a fan of being told no. Also, when I’m roughhousing with Onyx, Blondie doesn’t need to intervene. Onyx likes being choked.

Spaz: I hate sharing. My food, toys, water, litter and human are MINE!

Maya: No one shall pick me up, unless they’re looking to donate to the Maya blood bank.

Onyx: I don’t like being woken up. Also, once I claim an area, it’s quite rude to try and move me.

Patches: I don’t like being forced to move. My comfort obviously exceeds a human need.

Any nip-heads in the house?

Angel: Unless nip is synonymous with mashed potatoes or bacon, not me!

Spaz: I’m a sucker for Temptation treats, but not nip by itself.

Maya: Not me, that’s for sure. I’m about as picky as they come.

Onyx: Nip is okay. I’d rather have a cookie or cupcake.

Patches: Not that I’m aware of. Although I’ll eat anything, so I’m not a good one to ask.

Does anyone like human TV, computers, phones or some other “human” gadget?

Angel: I like the wires that come with them. The TV wires and phone chargers are the best.

Spaz: I like the phone, since it plays my YouTube videos.

Maya: Not me, because that takes attention away from me!

Onyx: I like sitting on the phone when it’s warmed up from being used. Same with the computer. Also, I like watching Ryan play his video games.

Patches: Nah, they make too much noise.

Anything you’d like to add?

Angel: I really wish humans could interpret our meows properly. A low grumbling mewl does not mean pick me up and coo “awe, such a sweet kitty”! Also, human legs make the best scratching post- and their socks are awesome toys.

Spaz: Always respect the calicos- we’re the most beautiful and the smartest.

Maya: Plus sized kitties are just as lovable as little kittens. Also, don’t mock your cat if she’s skittish- Skittles is not a feline approved nickname.

Onyx: Black cats are not bad luck! I’m sure a of the black cats out there with a bad rep were just upset from having to wait for a food dish refill or something equally as awful.

Patches: I don’t understand why humans leave breakable glasses on my bowling field if they want them kept whole. I know the glass would look better shattered. Also, why can’t I eat plastic bags? It’s good enough to hold my food, but not to eat? Weird.

  

6

Sheriff Callie and the Vacuum Cleaner

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(Google Images)

(For those of you without children of the appropriate age, Sheriff Callie is the star of Disney’s Sheriff Callie’s Wild West for preschoolers. She is a female calico cat who is the sheriff of Nice and Friendly Corners.)

Moderator: We welcome back Super Snoops and Kommando Kitty. It’s been a while. How have you been?

Snoops: Thanks for having us. We’ve been having a great summer. I’ve got a new bed. Mom says it was a Christmas present, but I’m sure she’s wrong. I never would have ignored such an awesome bed in the middle of the front room for six months.

Kommando: I think that bed was supposed to be for both of us, but she’s been hogging it. We’ll be sharing it in the cold weather.

Snoops: Maybe. You’re pretty warm with all that fur.

Kommando: It’s been a good summer for me too. For some reason, I’ve been shedding a lot this year. My fur is everywhere regardless of how often they brush me. I don’t understand it, but the humans don’t think it’s as cool as I do to have my fur in their food.

Commentator: So, what do you have for us today?

Snoops: We have our friend, Sheriff Callie, on the phone. She wants to discuss a certain toy that she found when she was shopping for a gift. She was totally appalled and wanted to warn your listeners to be aware that it is out there.

Commentator: Sheriff, thank you for taking the time to be with us today.

Callie: I appreciate you having me. And please, call me Callie.

Moderator: Callie, I was told that you had a rather unsettling experience in a store recently and wanted to share what had happened.

Callie: Yes, that’s right. I recently made a trip to a human toy store to find something for someone at Nice and Friendly Corners. I wanted something educational. I must tell you, humans have a strange idea of learning toys.

Kommando: Callie, we couldn’t agree more. I bet you couldn’t find a training mouse anywhere.

Callie: It’s worse than that. They have something called Play Doh. They are supposed to use this vile-smelling substance to make things. In one of the boxes they had things so the small human could pretend to be a dentist. It looked like some alien creature was working on the teeth of a hamburger.

Audience: Eww

Moderator: Does the box say why they would want to put a paw inside a hamburger’s mouth? I can’t imagine what it would teach them.

Callie: I can’t either. There were other boxes that showed them using the stuff to make cupcakes and ice cream. I can’t believe humans let their children eat that stuff.

Moderator: Well, humans do have some odd tastes. Have you ever seen those little green trees they eat? They say it has lots of good things in them. I don’t know about that, but they taste terrible. I don’t know a single cat who likes them.

Snoops: Our humans eat them, but we won’t even get near them. I think they’re called broccolis.

Callie: I think you’re right. But I need to tell you about what I saw next. They have little pink vacuum cleaners from a company called Wish I Was Home.

(Audience gasps.)

Commentator: You mean they train little girls how to use those things?

Callie: Yes! And it looks like they start pretty young. It was small.

Commentator: Why do you think they would do that?

Callie: I have no idea. But I can imagine cats everywhere being traumatized by little girls running after them with those things.

Snoops: I know a lot of cats who won’t go near small humans. I bet that’s why.

Commentator: I’m sure you’re right. What can we do about it Callie?

Callie: I wanted to make sure everyone knew about it so they can protect their kittens. It’s not just the adult humans who need to be watched.

Commentator: Thank you for your warning. I’m sure our audience appreciates your coming on our show with this important information.

(Audience applauds vigorously.)

Commentator: Thank you once again to joining us.

Callie: It was my pleasure. Thank you for having me. (Ends the call)

The cats all look at each other, horrified.

Kommando: Well, at least we know.

 

caption,Cats (Cheezburger)

 

Cats,dont-be-a-hero,heroes,Memes,restraining,restraining cat,vacuum cleaner,vacuums (Cheezburger)

 

 

 

2

At Sixes and Sevens

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I love this phrase because it’s just obscure enough that people think they should know what it means. (To be in a state of confusion or disarray.)

This post was intended to be about things that give me pause, but while checking on the phrase’s origin, I found some things to add to the list.

I had thought that the expression referred to numbers in a game of chance that were the riskiest and therefore led the gambler to some confusion about whether or not to make the bet.

That is true, but the better story comes from the possible second origin. I am still slightly at sixes and sevens about the whole thing.

England has something called an order of precedence for their livery companies. A livery company is a trade association and does not have anything to do with horses (which confused me very much the first time I read through the description of the dispute.)

The livery of Merchant Taylors (tailors) and the livery of Skinners were both chartered in 1327. They became the sixth and seventh trade associations in England. There is no surviving record of which was chartered first, but they started fighting about it almost immediately. Wouldn’t they have had to be chartered at the same place? Did someone bribe the clerk to change a date? The English were pretty fussy about their hierarchies.

It got so bad that in 1484 the Lord Mayor of London, Sir Robert Billesden, decided that at the Feast of Corpus Christi (how many know when that is?) the associations would swap places and feast in each other’s halls. It seems to be that skinners and tailors would attract a completely different type of crowd. Perhaps leg of boar one year and pheasant the next? Whiskey and mead? I love the mayor’s title.

The associations still swap places every year. They are still known as liveries. Both are part of the Great Twelve City Livery Companies (the top 12 in the listing). Sadly, the armor makers did not make the cut. English hierarchy remains alive and well in 21st century Britain.

One last note: the liveries maintain the word “worshipful” in their title (e.g., Worshipful Company of Fishmongers – #4). It’s not clear who they were worshipping, God or King. I think it was basically the same at the time. I would guess neither today. We just don’t have that kind of tradition here in the U.S.

Why do medieval English feasts always make me think of a bunch of people sitting around in the semi-dark eating greasy joints of some animal? Somebody there had to be eating the rest of it.

Moving on:

Was there anyone else whose first reaction to last week’s mega-storm on the east coast was to make sure it wasn’t going to hit them before it got to its destination? And be happy that it was going somewhere else?

Do politicians running for President get as tired of listening to themselves as the rest of us do? I think it should be like Family Feud: two candidates go head to head to see who can guess what Americans really want. Then they’ll know what they should promise (well aware that they won’t be able to do it.)

Why would someone come into a mega-store and ask whether we carry Amazon Fire Sticks? Do they not understand the concept behind Amazon?

Also unclear on the concept: the lady who returned her slow cooker saying that it cooked too slowly. (Yes, it did work correctly.)

If an airline can claim that they have arrived on-time even though they have to sit in queue for an hour and a half, why doesn’t that principle apply for arriving for the meeting they scheduled around your flight?

It’s ironic that they originally built Washington, D.C. on a swamp. I think some of the original residents may still be wandering the government halls.

I did not realize that there are Lego sets now that need to be locked down because they cost more than $100.

I think I need to buy one of the tablets they make for toddlers. They look totally indestructible.

How many kids appreciate (or can even see) the color gradations in a 156-color box of Crayons?

Why can you buy (really) inferior brands of chocolate at Christmas, Valentine’s Day, and Easter that are not available the rest of the year? Is it just a sideline for a wax company?

Is your beloved cheap, broke, or chocolate-blind if he/she buys you one of those atrocities? Is it worse to be cheap or chocolate-blind?

Why can’t I find any cards to send for Groundhog Day?

2

The Easter Bunny Explains All

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Hello, I am the Easter Bunny; the animal you see every spring. I would like to thank Cat for the opportunity to clear up a few things before Easter this year. I would also like to thank Kommando Kitty for giving up her spot as this week’s guest writer.

I am a rabbit; a real rabbit.

I look like this:

rabbits are everywhere don t worry i don t mean that literally they ... (not a photo of me)

Not like this:

The Easter Bunny Shoplifter Due In Court The Day After Easter [Video]

I understand that children like to see who brings them candy. However, I think it is important for adults to understand that I do not walk on two feet or have plastic eyes.

I use magic to deliver eggs.

If your children wonder how one rabbit can get eggs to everyone within 24 hours, tell them they don’t have to worry that I will get tired before I get to your house. I do pretty much the whole thing from home.

I used to be a regular rabbit. One day I was running from a small child and jumped down a hole. But it wasn’t a rabbit hole. The place was full of faeries. One of them flew over to me and said, “Thank goodness you made it! We were almost finished.”

I tried to tell her that I wasn’t her rabbit. But before I knew what was happening, she turned me into the Easter Bunny. My job was to find a band of bunnies from everywhere they celebrate Easter.

Those bunnies tell me how many children there are in their neighborhood who will be receiving treats. (Here’s where the magic comes in.)

I conjure enough treats for each bunny to deliver and make sure they get there in plenty of time to be sorted and tagged. (It’s a trade secret how the baskets actually get to the children.)

I don’t know Santa Claus.

I’m hibernating when Santa visits down here. I would never visit a place with that much ice and snow. Rumor has it he has a private island for his down time in the spring and summer.

I don’t have the same job as Santa Claus.

I understand where this idea came from. The Germans were the ones who dreamed up both Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. They decided that we would each decide who was naughty or nice. Then we would bring all kinds of goodies to the nice children.

They got Santa’s job right, but were way off on mine (rather surprising considering how precise they usually are). I originally was responsible for coloring (hen’s) eggs and distributing them. More recently, they added chocolate eggs and jelly beans.

Modern baskets are a combined effort.

Sometimes the parents help me by adding other types of candy to the basket. The home-made cookies and candies are particularly nice.

Any brand-name candy is not from us. I would never buy commercial candy to hand out. My bunnies are busy enough as it is. However, it is very kind of people to buy this candy for children (particularly someone else’s).

And a word about chocolate rabbits. We work hard to get the eggs and candy out. I really don’t appreciate people putting chocolate rabbits in the baskets to be gobbled up. Perhaps you could replace them with dogs or hawks, or something else that harasses rabbits.

Those pre-filled baskets that have been appearing in stores the last few years? An abomination! Not the pretty chocolate ones filled with chocolates. The big ones filled with ugly toys. No child should ever believe that the Easter Bunny is responsible for something that commercial.

If you want your child to have a toy for Easter, buy your child a toy for Easter. Let them appreciate that we both care for them.

Thank you for your time. If you know a rabbit who might be interested in joining my network, please pass their name along to Cat. We’re always looking for good help.

And of course:

Happy Easter Bunny Images Background HD Wallpaper Happy Easter Bunny ...

12

Critter Capers: Letters to St. Nicholas

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https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/c8/d6/1f/c8d61ffe41929d93319de1c78ff1bbed.jpg

 

Dear Santa Claws

Mom said that if we were good animals, that you would bring us presents on Christmas. I’m not sure when that is, but I think it’s soon. There’s a big tree in the front room and lots of bags upstairs.

But maybe not. Mom said you live where it’s cold this time of year and you don’t look cold in your picture.

Anyway, I have been a good cat. I don’t scratch on the furniture. Well only the love seat, and you can’t even tell. I give mouse presents and cuddle a lot. Even with the other cat. And I always use the litter box.

Would you please bring me

  1. A warming blanket that doesn’t have all those wires that push into my skin. I know I’m furry, but I can still feel them. I can’t cuddle with my human because he wears one of those all the time.
  2. Some smoked turkey in a bag like Mom brings home. I really like it, but they only share a little.
  3. One of those toys I can hold in my front paws and kick with my back paws. The other cat doesn’t like those, so I don’t have to fight her off.
  4. A How to Catch Mice book for the humans. No matter how many times I show them how to hunt, they still want me to make the kill. They need to learn to fend for themselves.
  5. A silencer for the other cat that I can control. She talks a LOT.
  6. A bag of the kitty kibble they buy for the spiny guy. He gets better quality food than I do.
  7. A new scratching post. The ones downstairs are used up. My human keeps saying the he will resurface it, but that never happens. If you can’t bring that, could you please bring him a video of what happens to cats if they can’t sharpen their nails correctly? Or maybe something from YouTube of a bad cat using his human as a scratching post when the post is unusable?

Thank you very much.

Super Snooper (I have enclosed a picture so you know for sure who I am. The humans NEVER take pictures of anything and it shows.)

Snoops_122014

 

Dear Santa

You sure look like a cool cat. I bet you bring all kinds of good stuff.

I have been a good kitty. I make sure my human (Mom) gets up on time for work. It’s not my fault she gets up really early some days and not so early other days. You know cats like routines. I help make sure she gets enough sleep. Twice I have told the humans when the other cat was locked in another room. Maybe it was three times. The first time they ignored my crying. I help Mom find things on this little computer thingy. And I always use the litter box.

Please bring me

  1. One of those fishing pole toys. I used to have a lot of them. The humans got mad when I chewed the strings. How else was I supposed to play with the toy after I captured it? The male humans don’t leave their fish on the hooks.
  2. A warming blanket that the other cat won’t get her smell all over. And that the humans won’t steal from me when they get cold. Something nice and furry would be good.
  3. Some of that meat the humans had the other day. I think they called it a “pot roast”. (That’s kinda weird since it didn’t come out of a pot.) I usually don’t like human food, but that was really yummy.
  4. A How to Speak Siamese for the humans. They keep saying that I talk a lot, but if they would just listen and respond I wouldn’t have to talk so much.
  5. A heater like the spiny guy has if you can’t get #2. It’s some kind of board they put next to his cage. Then they cover his cage with a blanket. He stays really warm. I think the humans could make a blanket tent for us cats (I would share) and attach the board to one of the sides.
  6. A different job for Mom so she can stay home all day and cuddle with us (I would share). Maybe one of those jobs you do at home or something that works with Dad’s schedule so we always have a human to cuddle with.
  7. A cat door to upstairs where the bedrooms are. When it’s cold, Dad keeps the door up there closed. Something about heating a barn. I don’t get it – we live in a house. Anyway, then we could get up and go to sleep up there when we want (I would share). And Mom couldn’t kick me out when I want breakfast on my normal schedule.

Your Friend

Kommando Kitty

Kommando_122014

 

Dear Mr. Claws

I hope that I am not imposing by asking for a few things for Christmas. I have worked on being a better hedgehog all year. I no longer poop on Mom. I don’t hiss at the humans or curl up into a ball every time I see them. I am trying to get my quills to stay soft enough so they don’t need the gloves. I am very appreciative of the wax worms they give me to eat. I cuddle up and sleep on both of them now.

I am requesting:

  1. One of those plastic balls so I can run around the room by myself without worrying about the furballs. Please make sure it is hedgehog-safe.
  2. Soundproofing for my cage. Dad doesn’t seem to understand that I’m nocturnal. He turns on the TV all the time. And loud (hedgehogs have very sensitive ears).
  3. If you can’t soundproof my cage, would you please send him some earphones?
  4. A larger water dish. I am a clean hog and use it for both bathing and drinking. (The bathing is mainly when I stick my snout too far into the bowl.) They don’t remember to check it every day. My home is nice and warm and the water in the air keeps my skin soft. But then I don’t have it to drink.
  5. A timer for Dad. He used to get me out every night at 10p. Now he only gets me out every other night. It would be OK but then he forgets and I don’t get to have my worm snack for several days.
  6. A barrier so the furballs can’t play right next to my cage. They growl and thump and make all kinds of noise. Not only does it wake me up, it gives me nightmares. I guess it would be daymares.
  7. Some extra worms so I can share with Mom and Dad. That way they would know why I like them so much. Maybe we could snack together every night.

Most Sincerely Yours in Gratitude

Horatio, Lord Nelson

Horatio_122014