6

Feral Purrfessionals: Cats to the Rescue – Part 3

Sunday's Fun And Aww: Hard At Work And Not Appreciating The ...

Where we are: Katie Calico and her friend Elise are working at Mercy General to help the humans in their fight to overcome an extremely contagious virus. Things are going well, although their supervisor Matilda does not seem to be very fond of cats. You can read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

The first week went by quickly. The patients seemed to be happy to have the cats there, helping keep the humans from getting sick. The feedback from the medical staff had also been positive. The only real problem was that Matilda was continuing to complain about the cats’ work ethic and ability to work with humans.

If you think cats are antisocial, maybe it's you, scientists find ...

When Katie and Elise arrived on Monday, Matilda met them at the door.

Matilda: Julie wants to see you. I bet she fires you. Cats have no place in a hospital.

Katie and Elise looked at each other. Timidly, they knocked on Julie’s door.

Julie: Come in and have a seat, ladies. How was your weekend?

Katie: It was very nice. It was good to relax a little. And yours?

Julie: Fine. I’d like to get right to the point. The feedback on your work here last week has been almost entirely positive. However, there is one thing that seems to be a problem.

Elise (nervously): What is that?

IM On Ur Desk Cat Meme - Cat Planet | Cat Planet

Julie: I need to know who’s been covering for you at lunchtime. The wait times are terrible and the reports going back to the medical staff are inaccurate. Matilda says that you must not have trained whoever you chose. They need to be trained today or the whole cat program will need to be re-evaluated.

Katie: You’ve already talked to Matilda about this?

Julie: Yes. And she’s very concerned. She can’t tell who is working because they are using your log-in information. Which is also against hospital rules.

Katie and Elise looked at each other, unsure of what to say. Matilda had been working during lunches.

The Hilarious History of Cat Memes | Dr. Elsey's

Julie: You’re not in trouble. Your work has been outstanding. But I need to fix this problem. I want you to be able to stay.

Katie (hesitantly): I’m not sure how to say this…

Elise: It’s Matilda. She’s been covering our lunches.

Julie: That’s ridiculous. Why would Matilda lie about something like this? Besides, she’s worked in the department for years. She wouldn’t make these types of mistakes. I don’t know who you’re trying to protect, but I need the truth.

Katie: We’re not trying to protect anyone. Matilda covers our lunches.

Cute Cat Meme - Imgflip

Julie: I’m sorry. You’re not going to be able to work here if I can’t trust you.

Elise started to cry. Katie tried to think of a way to prove what they were saying.

Katie: There are security cameras everywhere in the hospital. There must be one in the triage area. Or in the computer we use. Can’t you look at that?

Julie: I really don’t like the idea of spying on my employees, but I’ll see what I can find. Go back to work for now.

They worked all day, nervous and scared. At the end of the day, they were called into Julie’s office. Matilda was already there. She glared at the cats when they walked in.

Julie: Please sit down. Matilda and I have been looking over the security footage. I would like to apologize for not believing you earlier.

Skeptical Cat - Imgur

Katie and Elise looked at each other, not believing what they were hearing.

Julie: The security cameras are not very good, but it is definitely a human, not a cat, who is there when you are not. But why are you not logging off at lunchtime?

Elise: We do log off. Matilda said we would be fired if we didn’t.

Julie: OK. Let me find out who has access to your security information.

Matilda: What difference does it make? They’re cats. They’re probably lying.

Therapy Cat Is evaluating. - Cheezburger - Funny Memes | Funny ...

Julie: I need to get to the bottom of this. It concerns our duty to our patients.

Julie called the Technology Department. Matilda started flipping through a file she had brought to the meeting. Julie asked several questions, and then hung up the phone.

Julie: That was strange. Matilda, he said that the only people who have access to passwords are the immediate supervisor and senior management. I know I wasn’t covering the lunches. The cats seem certain that they logged off. That only leaves you.

Programmers need a perfect pet and we know the best one – MissMeowni

Matilda: Why would I use their accounts? I have my own.

Julie: That’s a good point. Why would you?

Julie didn’t say anything more and looked at Matilda. Katie and Elise looked at Matilda. The room was tense. Finally, Matilda spoke.

Matilda: OK. Fine. I did it.

Katie: Why would you do that?

Matilda: Cats don’t belong in hospitals. You eat vermin, sleep all the time, and don’t use soap and water when you bathe.

cats desk Memes & GIFs - Imgflip

Julie: What does that have to do with anything? Look at them. They’re as clean as you are. And I haven’t seen them even resting while they’re on duty.

Matilda: They’re animals, and they don’t belong in a hospital.

Julie: Why did you make all of those mistakes? I know you are better than that.

Matilda: I wanted to let everyone know that they aren’t perfect.

I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, Therefore I am perfect ...

The other three looked at her in disbelief. She was putting the patients and staff in danger because she didn’t like cats.

Julie: Katie and Elise, I would like to apologize again. I had no idea something like this would happen. You can go home, and I’ll see you in the morning.

Relieved, Katie and Elise left. When they returned the next morning, Matilda was not there. She had been terminated for security violations.

The cat program turned out to be a great success at Mercy General. Katie and Elise stayed until the end of the crisis, then returned to their real jobs. They had learned a great deal about hospital administration and human sickness that would be useful as their careers progressed.

Sorry, Cat Haters, Science Isn't On Your Side | Popular Science

 Pictures courtesy of Google Images

19

Feral Purrfessional: Cats to the Rescue – Part 2

Top 10 Cat Emergencies | Animal Medical Center of the Village

Where we are: Katie Calico and several of her former classmates have been asked to help the humans in their fight to overcome an extremely contagious virus. The virus can be fatal to humans, but does not affect cats. The cats all agreed to help and are waiting for their assignments. You can read Part 1 here.

Katie learned that she would be assigned to Mercy General Hospital starting on Monday. When she arrived, she saw that her partner was Elise.

An Adorable Gallery of Hugging Cats

Katie: Elise! I’m so happy to see you!

Elise: I know! Just like old times.

Their reunion was interrupted by a female human voice.

Human: All right, you two. No time for chatting. I can’t believe they sent me cats to replace my girls. You better not spend all of your time sleeping. I know how cats are. My name is Matilda, and I’ll be your supervisor.

How much do cats sleep, and how many hours do they really need ...

Elise: My name is Elise and this is Katie.

Katie: Pleased to me you, Matilda.

Matilda: I’ll show you where you’ll be working. One mistake and you’re out of here. CATS! I can’t believe they sent me cats! What’s next? A hedgehog?

Katie and Elise looked at each other, wondering if all the people were going to be like her.

Doctor game - null | Hedgehog pet, Cute kawaii animals, Baby hedgehog

Matilda: I’ll let you two get settled. And remember: no sleeping.

Matilda stomped off and started talking to another woman.

Katie: Do you think she’s ever met a cat?

Elise: I doubt it. Otherwise, she’d know we can hear every word she’s saying, and she might be nicer.

Katie: Probably not. She definitely has her opinions.

For your overly opinionated relative - Album on Imgur

They laughed. After a few minutes, the other woman came over.

Woman: Hi ladies. I’m Julie, and I run this department.

Katie: Hi. I’m Katie and this is Elise.

Julie: I see you’ve met Matilda. Don’t let her get to you. She’s all noise.

Maverick Philosopher: Cats

The cats looked at each other doubtfully.

Julie: I am so happy you are here! It’s so kind of you to help us. If you have any questions, just ask. I want you to be comfortable.

Julie walked off.

Katie: Wow. I hope she’s around more than Matilda.

Elise: Definitely. But now we need to see what all this stuff is.

While the cats were studying the machines, they heard a tap at the window.

Dorchester woman creates popular meme site about feral cats | The ...

Woman: I’m Susan Meyers and… Oh my goodness! You’re cats! Horace, come here! The news was right. Cats are working at the hospital.

Horace: Please excuse my wife. She’s very excitable. We’re happy you’re here to help.

Susan: Oh, yes! And you’re just adorable!

Katie: Thank you ma’am. Are you the one who is ill or is it your husband?

Susan: It’s me. I have a fever and chills. I need to find out if I have “it”.

Katie: Well, you’ve come to the right place. I’ll open the door, and you can speak with Elise.

Lolcats - medical - LOL at Funny Cat Memes - Funny cat pictures ...

Elise took the woman to a cubicle where she checked Susan’s vital signs and asked her a few questions about her symptoms.

Elise: I’m afraid your symptoms do match those of the virus. You’ll need to wait for the doctor in the quarantine room.

Susan: What about Horace?

Elise: We’ll let him know what’s going on. He can stay where he is, and we’ll keep him updated.

Susan: Thank you so much. I really am happy you’re here.

The morning went by quickly. Most of the humans were pleasant and didn’t seem to be bothered working with the cats. Soon they heard Matilda’s voice.

Cats having their lunch - Picture of The Company of Cats ...

Matilda: Lunchtime, ladies. You get a half hour, and you can’t go at the same time. I’ll examine the patients while you’re gone.

Katie and Elise looked at each other.

Elise: I’ll go first.

The hour seemed like it would never end. Finally, they were back together.

Working cat Memes

Elise: That was horrible.

Katie: She was really slow. People were getting upset.

Elise: She wasn’t any nicer to the patients than she was to us.

Katie: I know. I wonder how she keeps her job.

Elise: The virus is probably afraid of her.

Cat Laughing Hysterically | Funny cat photos

They both laughed and went back to work, this time with Elise at the desk. The afternoon was as busy as the morning, so the time flew by. The cats went home, happy but exhausted.

Next week: Does Matilda adapt to working with cats?

Tired little kitty....in the library! Cats must love books ...

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

Snoops and Kommando here. We want to offer condolences to our non-furry sister and her husband. Their cat Spaz crossed over the Rainbow Bridge earlier this week. You may remember Spaz from her and her siblings visit with us last fall or when we interviewed her and her furry siblings

15

Show and Tell Surprise – Conclusion

Image result for sad moose

Where we are: Ms. Beaver’s elementary school class is going to have its first Show and Tell. Mike Moose has told his friends that he has a great idea about what he’s bringing, but he really doesn’t have any ideas. You can read Part 1 here.

Mike got home without any ideas coming to mind.

Mom: Hi, sweetie. How was school?

Mike (gloomily): It was terrible. We couldn’t go outside today, and everyone was really bored. Then Ms. Beaver said that we would have Show and Tell tomorrow to make it better.

Image result for moose mother and calf

Mom: That’s not so bad. At least you’ll have a better day tomorrow.

Mike: Not really. I want to take something awesome. But I don’t have anything awesome.

Mom: What do you think is awesome?

Mike: I don’t know. Just something that no one else has.

Mike’s mom thought for a few minutes. Then she made a suggestion that Mike really liked. He was excited the next day when he went to school and could hardly wait for Show and Tell. Finally, it was time.

Image result for happy wild animals

Ms. Beaver: It’s time for Show and Tell. Who would like to go first?

Everyone raised their hand. Ms. Beaver decided that the only fair way would be to go around the room. The children each showed their item. There were favorite books, pictures of gardens, favorite toys, and a few other things. Finally, it was Mike’s turn.

Mike: I had a lot of trouble deciding what to bring today. Finally, my mom made a really good suggestion. I’d like to introduce you to my grandmother, Joanie Moose.

The children started to giggle. Why would he bring in his grandmother? Was she supposed to be the great idea?

Image result for laughing bear

Joanie: Hello, children. I bet you’re wondering what’s so special about me, aren’t you?

Egbert Bear: No offense intended. We were just wondering why Mike would bring in his grandmother.

Joanie: Mike thought that you might enjoy a story that I have to tell about when I was a young moose.

The children quieted down and listened.

Image result for reindeer

Joanie: When I was a young moose, I met one of Santa’s reindeer. He wasn’t one of the famous ones. Julius was one of the backups in case someone got sick on Christmas Eve. We went out a few times and had really liked each other.

Finally, he asked me to come home with him and meet Santa and the other reindeer. You can imagine how excited I was. Santa was really nice, just like you hear in the stories. And the reindeer were all kind. It was a wonderful trip.

At the end, Julius asked me to stay with him at the North Pole. I thought about it, but decided that I wanted to be at home with my family. So, I came back down here to Northland. I met Mike’s grandfather and had a wonderful family. But once in a while I think about my visit to the North Pole.

Image result for moose cuddling

The children were enthralled. She had met Santa! They asked her a lot of questions until Ms. Beaver said it was time to get back to work, and Joanie went home. After school, the children were still talking about it.

Egbert: Okay, I was wrong. You did have the best Show and Tell.

Joey Hare: Yeah. That was amazing. Maybe sometime we could come over to your house and talk to her some more.

Mike: Maybe. She would probably like that.

The children were still talking about Joanie for several days after that.

Image result for moose family

 

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

 

25

Show and Tell Surprise

Image result for wild animals in snow

It had been a long winter at Northland Elementary School. There was a ban on recess until the worst of the snow storms had passed. Being inside was making everyone stir-crazy.

Ms. Beaver: That’s it for math today. Does anyone have any questions?

Pete Seal: Can we go outside after lunch?

Image result for seals playing in snow

Ms. Beaver: You know we can’t Peter. The school says we can’t go out until the weather gets better.

Annie Fox: What does the weather have to do with anything? We’re northern animals. We live in the snow.

Ms. Beaver: It’s not really the snow. It’s that Brian Brown-Bear ran away during the first heavy snow of the season and no one knew he was gone until everyone got back inside. By the time they found him, he was asleep in his home den.

Jeffrey Otter: So what? Because he went home, no one can go out?

Image result for bear sleeping

Ms. Beaver: They’re afraid that someone might get lost or taken by a bad human, and we wouldn’t know in time to do anything.

The children groaned.

Billy Beaver: It’s only February! That means it’s forever until we can go out.

Ms. Beaver: Don’t be dramatic, Billy. It’s only during heavy snowfalls or storms that we can’t go outside.

Suzy Ermine: I’m bored.

Image result for animal show and tell meme

Ms. Beaver: I have an idea. Do you know what show-and-tell is?

The children shook their heads that they did not.

Ms. Beaver: Everybody brings in something special from home and tells the rest of the class about it.

Billy: What kind of stuff?

Ms. Beaver: It can be anything, really. Your favorite toy. Something from a hobby. Something that someone has given to you.

Image result for animal playing with toys meme

Billy: Is there stuff we can’t bring?

Ms. Beaver: Anything that might offend or scare the rest of the class. And nothing dangerous.

Pete: No trophy kills, right?

Ms. Beaver: Definitely not.

Annie: When should we bring our things in?

Ms. Beaver: Why don’t we do it tomorrow? It’s still supposed to be storming and it will give us a nice break.

Image result for excited animal meme

The children were excited about the idea and talked about their ideas during lunch and after school. On the way home, three of the boys were bragging about who would bring in the best thing to show.

Egbert Bear: I think I’m going to show my collection of eagle feathers.

Joey Hare: Bert! She said no prey.

Egbert: They’re not prey. I pick them up off the ground.

Joey: Oh. I think I’ll bring in the empty nest I found. That’s a lot better than a bunch of feathers.

Image result for angry hare

Egbert: Is not! You probably don’t even know what kind of nest it is!

Joey: Is too!

Egbert: Is not! What about you, Mike?

Michael Moose had no idea what he was going to bring. He didn’t have anything as good as feathers or a nest. But he didn’t want to tell the guys that.

Mike: It’s a secret. But it’s tons better than either one of those.

Image result for moose calf in snow

Next week: Will Mike find something special by the next day to show his class?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

25

Who’s Our New Neighbor? – Part 3

Image result for cats and meerkats"

Where we are: Calico Corners has welcomed a meerkat construction company from Africa to the neighborhood. They have brought over their lion financial/legal team to finalize the paperwork. You can read part 1 here and part 2 here.

The lions have hit a few roadblocks that no one in Africa had mentioned. They met with the meerkats to discuss things.

Leonard Lion: Mikki, were you aware that the broker had you buy property that’s not in the desert?

Image result for meerkat on grass"

Mikki: It did seem odd that we had to request that the lawn be taken out. Usually you need to have it added. So, where are we?

Leonard: It’s a place called the Midwest.

Marcel Meerkat: What’s it mid-west of?

Leona Lion: No one really seemed to know.

Mikki: They have nice dirt to burrow in. It may not be a problem to work here.

Image result for cold lion"

Leonard: The dirt isn’t the problem. It’s the weather. It gets really cold here.

Leona: And it snows.

Giselle: It gets cold in the desert at night. But what’s snow?

Mikki: It’s white stuff. It looks pretty, but it’s like fluffy frozen rain.

Maria Meerkat: We can’t live in that! We’ll freeze.

Image result for fluffy cats in snow"

Giselle: It does explain why the cats here have such thick, fluffy coats.

Maria: And houses.

Mikki: So how long does this snow last?

Leona: It could be up to 4 months.

Mikki: That’s not good.

Image result for concerned meerkat"

The meerkats looked at each other. No one said anything. Finally, Giselle broke the silence.

Giselle: Let’s go talk to the cats.

Everyone gathered, and Mikki explained the situation. Oddly, Cielle didn’t seem surprised.

Image result for beautiful calico cat"

Cielle: I’d been wondering what you were going to do in the winter. Then when the lions asked me about the weather, I realized no one had told you about winter.

Tammy: Oh, you poor things! No one told you about the cold?

Leonard: Unfortunately, no.

Mikki: It looks like we’ll have to return to Africa. I hate to say that because we’ve come to love all of you.

Image result for cats and meerkats"

Everyone looked distressed, even the lions.

Cielle: I had an idea, if you’re interested.

Mikki: Definitely.

Cielle: My family has several businesses and there are lots of air ducts and other small passageways to maintain. You could work for us when it’s too cold to construct.

Image result for meerkats"

The meerkats huddled together and chattered excitedly.

Mikki: We would like to take you up on your very kind offer. We can learn to sleep inside for that time.

The lions still looked dejected.

Image result for sad lion"

Leonard: I guess it’s time for us to go.

Tammy: Actually, we’ve been talking. You two are very kind. We were wrong to be afraid of you. You’re welcome to stay if you’d like. If there’s no company job, you can be security. No one else knows how sweet you both are.

The lions looked at Mikki.

Mikki: Of course. There’s plenty of room for all of us in the house.

The cats all clapped and cheered. And they all lived happily ever after in Calico Corners.

Image result for cats and meerkats"

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

12

Who’s Our New Neighbor? – Part 2

Image result for cats with lions

Where we are: There’s a new family moving into Calico Corners and they sound a little strange. They have a lot of children and requested that the lawn be replaced with extra dirt. You can see Part 1 here.

The family moved in a few weeks later. The next day, several residents went to Cielle Calico’s office. Cielle had been expecting them ever since he learned more about the new residents.

Image result for family of lions

Cielle: Good morning, all. It’s nice to see everyone so bright and early.

Sammy: Good morning, Cielle. You sold that house to a family of lions.

Tammy: It looks like they brought their own prey. It’s disgusting.

Image result for lion cubs

Frankie: I’m not sending my kids to school with lion cubs. What if the cubs get hungry?

Sammy: What about us? We’ll probably be next after they run out of what they brought.

The cats all began to talk at the same time. There were even some growls.

Cielle: Please calm down everyone! I did not sell the house to lions. You should know me better than that.

Image result for angry cats

Sammy: So why are they living in the house?

Cielle: That’s just temporary. They’ll only be here for a few weeks to finalize the paperwork for the new business.

Tammy: Who did you sell the house to?

Cielle: Mikki Meerkat, the owner of MM Construction.

Image result for meerkats tunneling

The cats looked confused.

Morrie: What’s a meerkat?

Cielle: They’re the other animals you saw.

Morrie: Those skinny things? They don’t look like any cat I’ve ever seen. They did tunnels and sleep in them.

Image result for weasels

Cielle: They’re not cats. They’re more like weasels. They’re very nice. You should go introduce yourselves.

Morrie: Maybe tomorrow. I need to think about this.

The other cats nodded in agreement.

Later that day, Tammy’s two kittens came racing home from school.

Image result for running kittens

Abby: Mom, guess what happened at school today.

Before Tammy had a chance to answer, Andy broke in:

Andy: We got new students today. But they’re not regular cats. They’re meerkats.

Abby: And meerkats aren’t really cats at all. They’re totally pawsome! They can stand on their back legs and look around.

Image result for meerkat and tunnel

Andy: And they make tunnels! Can we invite them over?

Tammy: Not until I meet their parents.

Abby: Can we all go over there now?

Tammy: It’s not polite to just show up at someone’s front door.

Image result for kittens with mom

Andy: But, Mom. The parents are really nice. They dropped their kids off at school and stayed to talk to us. They speak pretty good Cat, too.

Abby: Please, Mom?

Tammy: Let me call over there and invite the family for dinner.

Abby and Andy: Thank you!

Andy: By the way, their favorite food is beetles.

Image result for meerkats eating

Tammy: Oh. I wonder where you buy those?

Mikki and Giselle Meerkat came over with their three pups. Abby and Andy were right; they were extremely nice and told wonderful stories about living in Africa. The kids had a great time. Tammy promised they would do it again soon.

Tammy spread the word to the other cats about the great time they’d had with the Meerkats. She organized a welcome party for the entire clan. Before long, the Meerkats were part of the group.

Image result for meerkats tunneling

Next week: Did everyone live happily ever after?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

25

Who’s Our New Neighbor?

Image result for rich cat

Everyone was excited in Calico Corners, an exclusive subdivision of mainly executives in the food industry. It sounded like they finally had a buyer for the Foster property. It had been empty since Suzy Moggy-Foster had been reassigned to the research facility in Paraguay.

It was unusual for the house to still be on the market since it was an extremely desirable location, and houses often sold before they could be listed on the market. Many cats wondered if it had something to do with Suzy’s rather odd hobby of breeding and selling muskrats.

Image result for muskrat

Suzy’s replacement was an outsider who really didn’t understand the business. Luckily, he and the company decided it wasn’t working out before he had bought a house. They had no idea who would hire a Rottweiler to be lead taste tester over a team of cats.

It had been four months and the neighbors were really hoping someone would buy it. It was annoying to have those real estate people in the neighborhood. And some of their client cats tromped through the gardens as if they owned the place. Those cats would never fit in at Calico Corners.

Image result for cat and gardens

Now it looked like it had been sold to someone. Cielle Calico, heiress to the family who had started the company, told the head of the private school, Tracie Tuxie, to expect some new students. Cielle wasn’t sure how many, but probably 10-12.

The cats were appalled. What type of cat family had that many kittens? Didn’t they know it was bad manners to have more than one litter with all the overpopulation issues? In fact, some couples were choosing not to have kittens at all.

Image result for tabby cat

At the homeowners’ association meeting, the cats wanted answers.

Tammy Tabby: Is it true that you finally sold the Foster house?

Cielle: Yes, we did. And they’re lovely animals.

Sammy Shorthair: What do they do?

Image result for cats and construction

Cielle: The tom owns a construction business and he’s opening a branch here.

Frankie Forest: What breed of cat are they?

Cielle: I’m not really sure. I’m working with a broker.

Frankie: Well, where are they coming from?

Image result for african cats

Cielle: Somewhere in Africa.

Tammy: Wow. That’s a long way. It will be exciting to have such interesting neighbors.

Sammy: I can guarantee that they’ll have short fur like me. When are they moving in.?

Cielle: As soon as we have their property ready.

Image result for cats new house move

Tammy: What are you doing to it?

Cielle hesitated.

Cielle: We’re taking out all of the grass and bringing in extra dirt.

Image result for cats in dirt

Frankie: What? We don’t want that in our neighborhood. Do you have any idea what that’s going to look like? It’ll ruin the appeal of the entire subdivision.

Morrie Manx: That’s for sure. Exactly what type of cats are these?

Image result for curious cat meme

Next week: The new neighbors move in.

 Pictures courtesy of Google Images.