4

The RHCCC: Talent Show – Part 2

Kelimcoons - New Hampshire Maine Coon Breeder

Where we are: Fluffy and her friends are organizing a talent show to raise money for the Crabapple Cove Public Library. See Part 1 here. They are hoping to showcase the talents of a screech owl they met during auditions for a previous fundraiser for the Crabapple Cove Center for Abandoned/Feral Cats.

The ladies arrived early to finish the preparations for the talent show. Bella had arranged for three of the library’s biggest supporters to be judges. They took their seats in front of the stage as the theater filled up.

Just 13 Cats Who Are More Judgmental Than Your Mother - I Can Has  Cheezburger?

Bella: This is so exciting! We’ve never had a talent show before.

Miki: How many acts did you find?

Fluffy: We have 10 different acts. Something for everyone.

Daphne: Is the little owl performing?

Fluffy: Olivia? Yes, she’s here. She was so excited to be asked. I hope the audience likes her.

How to Write Data Analysis Reports. Lesson 2—Know Your Audience. | Stats  With Cats Blog

Bella: We sold all of the tickets. It’s going to be great!

Miki: It’s time to get going.

Fluffy walked on stage and welcomed everyone. She introduced the judges and welcomed the first act onto the stage.

Fluffy: We’re opening our show tonight with Ellie Elephant singing a medley from the musical “Cats”. We hope you enjoy it.

Elephants "Singing" with Piano in Their Own Way - YouTube

Ellie was very good and the audience loved her performance. She was followed by some tap-dancing penguins and a wolf doing a dramatic reading from “Hamlet.” There was a slight pause in the activities when the bunny who was going to tap dance got stage fright and fainted.

Judge 1: Is she OK?

Miki: She’s fine. Just a little nervous.

Judge 2: Does she want to perform? We can just move her to a later spot in the program if she’d like.

Miki: She’s ready to go now if everyone is ready.

PsBattle: Rabbit on his hind legs : photoshopbattles

The bunny made it through her routine and was rewarded with a standing ovation. She was followed by dog acrobats, two cats singing a duet, and a juggling monkey.

Bella: This was a great idea, Fluffy! I love it.

Daphne: The library should be thrilled. Who’s next?

Fluffy: It’s Olivia’s turn. I’m keeping my paws crossed that there are some screech lovers in the audience.

Wallpaper Two owls, birds 2560x1600 HD Picture, Image

Olivia walked up to the microphone and nervously introduced herself. She began her song, and the audience sat politely, listening. Suddenly another owl walked up on stage and began to sing with her. They were apparently singing to each other. When the song end, the audience seemed a little stunned by the sound. Before the audience could react, the new owl walked up to the microphone.

Owl: Thank you for allowing me to join Olivia onstage. She was a little nervous, and I wanted tonight to be special for her.

He walked over to Olivia and began speaking.

Two owls, one a little bit more enthusiastic than the other : pics

Owl: Olivia, I know how much you want to be a singer. I came because I want to be a part of your dreams too. I love you, Olivia. Will you marry me?

The audience started clapping and cheering. Olivia was crying and nodding. They stood on the stage for a few moments, hugging.

Bella: That is so romantic! I can’t believe we got to see a proposal.

Fluffy (walking onstage): Congratulations! We all wish you the best.

Fluffy hugged the happy couple and escorted them offstage. She then returned to introduce the final two acts, gymnastic squirrels and another cat vocalist. Finally, it was time to announce the winner.

Kitten Climbing into Trophy' Photographic Print - Pat Doyle |  AllPosters.com | Cats and kittens, Kitten, Cat photo

Fluffy: Tonight has been so exciting! All these wonderful performers and an engagement! The judges had a hard job deciding who should get the trophy, and who the two runners-up should be. Third place has been awarded to Stella Rabbit for her dancing. Second place goes to Maria Manx for her rendition of “Ave Maria.” The winner of the talent show is Ellie Elephant!

Ellie walked to the center of the stage to pick up her trophy.

Ellie: Thank you all very much. I’m glad you enjoyed my performance.

The lady cats turned around to see if Olivia was disappointed that she didn’t win, but discovered that she was beaming and clapping.

Olivia: I’m so happy! I don’t think that non-owl audiences really appreciate my talent. But Owen does, and that’s all that matters right now.

The cats left the empty theater, basking in their success.

Happy face | Cats, Cute animals, Kittens

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

23

The RHCCC: Auditions

Image result for maine coons watching

The ladies of the Real House Cats of Crabapple Cove  were working on the annual fundraiser for the Crabapple Cove Center for Abandoned/Feral Cats. Fluffy was in charge of the dinner, and she had asked her friends Miki, Daphne, and Bella to come so she could get other opinions.

Image result for dogs doing tricks

One of the most important things to do was to set up the entertainment. They hadn’t been happy with their choice the previous year. It had been a troupe of dog acrobats. They were recommended by a friend of Bella’s at the library and their videos looked great. The night of the dinner, they told Fluffy that  one of the members was sick and they had brought a backup. The backup dog hadn’t performed in a while and mostly stood on stage looking confused. Several parts of the routine had to be scrapped. It was a disaster.

This year Fluffy had decided to hold live auditions rather than taking a referral. They had narrowed the field to three candidates who looked promising: a singing owl, a pair of ballroom-dancing bears, and a gorilla who played the piano.  

Image result for eastern screech owl cry

First up was the owl. She was smaller than they were expecting. That was a good thing since they did not want to scare the donors with a huge raptor in the house. No one had ever heard an owl sing before, but her video had sounded excellent.

Fluffy: What are you going to sing?

Owl: An owl love song.

Fluffy: Sounds good. Did you bring music?

Owl: No, it’s just me.

Fluffy: You can start whenever you’re ready.

Image result for cats hearing a loud sound

The owl cleared her throat and started making the most horrible sounds they had ever heard.

Bella: That’s worse than any cat fight I’ve ever heard.

Daphne: I’ve never heard anything like that down at the docks either.

Fluffy held up a paw to stop the owl.

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Fluffy: Honey, what type of owl are you?

Owl: I’m a screech owl. Why?

Fluffy: That singing was pretty bad. Are you sure that’s what you want to sing for an audition?

Owl (flustered): I’ll try another one. It’s an owl folk song.

Image result for cats hearing a loud sound

The cats sat back waiting for a melodic serenade. Instead, they got the same horrible sound as before. Once again, Fluffy held up her paw. 

Fluffy: Sweetie, that just doesn’t sound like the video you sent us. Do you have a sore throat or something?

Owl: Honestly?

Fluffy: Of course.

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Owl: I really wanted to perform here, so I had a nightingale sing on the video. I thought she would sound better.

Fluffy: That’s definitely true. But you must have known you would have to sing for yourself if you got an audition.

Owl: Yes, but I thought I would sounds better live and you would  like the song.

Fluffy: Let us talk it over. Please have a seat for a moment.

Image result for cats talking to each other

The cats whispered to each other.

Daphne: There is no way I am recommending her. She sounds like she’s getting ready to attack something.

Miki: I agree. She’s scary.

Bella: Sorry, but I can’t listen to her any more. She’s worse than the dogs.

Fluffy called the owl back to the stage.

Image result for frustrated cat meme

Fluffy: I just don’t think it’s going to work out. Some of our guests are pretty sensitive and it wouldn’t be right to have a raptor as our entertainment.

Owl: I understand.

She sadly walked off the stage and out the door. The ladies looked at each other in relief. Hopefully the other two acts would be better.

They were not disappointed. The bears danced a beautiful waltz, and the gorilla played Mozart. It was decision time. With the performers backstage, the cats discussed which one would be better for the dinner.

Image result for gorilla playing piano

Miki: I liked the gorilla. And I don’t think anyone would be intimidated by him.

Daphne: I really don’t think folks will be afraid of dancing bears. They’re very sweet when they talk.

Bella: Do we have enough money to hire both of them?

Fluffy: I could probably make it work. I’ll make up the difference if we’re short.

Daphne: Isn’t that going to be an awfully long program?

Image result for two bears dancing

Once again the cats conferred.

 Miki: I agree that we don’t want it to run to long. Do you think they might work together?

Bella: That’s a great idea.

Daphne: Are you sure you want to do that? They don’t even know each other. It might turn out like last year.

Fluffy: I don’t think we’re going to agree on which one to hire, so let’s see if they’ll work together.

Image result for bear with gorilla

She called all three entertainers back out and explained their idea. The bears and gorilla held a conversation among themselves.

Bear: We think it could work. We would need a recording of what we will be dancing to.

Gorilla: I can provide that. This idea actually is pretty interesting.

The bears nodded.

Bear: We really think it could be impressive.

Image result for bears dancing

They decided on a Strauss waltz. The gorilla sent the bears a recording of him playing the piece. They all got together several times before the performance.

Their hard work paid off. They were wonderful the night of the dinner. The night was a huge success; donors pledged more than they ever had. Afterwards, Fluffy thanked them for their performance.

Image result for thank you cat meme

Fluffy: That was totally pawsome! Thank you so much for helping us out tonight.

Bear: It was our pleasure.

Gorilla: Actually, it worked out so well that we’re talking about working together in the future.

Fluffy paid them, and the three of them walked out together.

Image result for cats watching

RHCCC is supposed to run the second Saturday of the month, but our typist got confused. We bought her a calendar.

All pictures courtesy of Google Images.

15

The Biennial Bears’ Bonfire – Part 4

Romanian specialists teach orphaned bear cubs how to survive in ...

Background: Every two years Zeke, Anthony, Joe, and Benjamin got together for a week-long camping trip at the lake. One of the highlights of the trip was story-time around the bonfire. This year’s topic is “Chance Encounter With Another Species”. You can read Zeke’s story here. Anthony’s story is here. Joe’s story is here.

This is Benjamin’s story.

Image result for fox chasing rabbit (With images) | Fox, Animals ...

My son Beau and I were out gathering some last minute supplies for the winter when we saw a fox race past chasing a couple of young rabbits. It really didn’t look good for the rabbits. We didn’t have time to see who it was.

The next thing we knew, one of the rabbits was tugging on Beau’s paw. The fox had cornered her brother in some bushes, and she wanted Beau to help him get free. She must have been pretty desperate to come to a bear for help. We didn’t know her, but the forest was full of rabbits.

American Black Bear | MDC Discover Nature

Beau and I looked at each other. I was going to explain that it was probably too late, but she looked so sad that I didn’t have the heart. He was her only family. We told her to wait there, hidden from view, while we went to see what was going on.

We followed the tracks and found the fox. It was Jasper, one of our neighbors. He was still hunting, so the rabbit was alive. I guess we startled Jasper, though. He looked irritated when we approached him. He told us that he had been hunting a rabbit for dinner when we tromped up. Now he probably had lost it.

Red Fox Diet - Hunting Strategies & Behaviour | Wildlife Online

Jasper started to walk around, sniffing. He found the scent of the rabbit again. He ran into the forest. We followed him, and I asked him to stop. He had cornered the bunny, but we startled him before he could attack. Jasper turned his head to look at us.

Before Jasper had a chance to start yelling, I told him that we wanted him to give us the bunny. Jasper thought I had lost my mind. It was his dinner. Besides, bears don’t eat rabbits. Why would we want it?

Wild Baby Bunnies and What To do When You Find Them - Effective ...

I explained that the rabbit’s sister had asked us to rescue him. She didn’t want to lose her only family. Jasper looked at us and started to laugh. He’d never heard of a rabbit being that brave before.

We waited to see whether Jasper would release the rabbit. I wasn’t sure that the poor thing hadn’t died from fright. It had its body pressed against the ground. Jasper looked at the rabbit and decided to let him go. He couldn’t kill something after a story like that. He’d have leftovers for dinner.

Scared little wild rabbit | timeuser | Flickr

The little rabbit was frozen in terror. Beau went over and petted him. There wasn’t any response, so Beau picked him up and we took him back to his sister.

She was exhilarated when she saw us. She had been sure that we had just gone home. The little male rabbit finally relaxed when he saw her.

cuddling rabbits | Two wild rabbits on Haigh Hall golf cours ...

We asked if they needed help getting home. The girl rabbit said that their home had been destroyed; that’s why they were in the area. We decided to take them home with us to relax after all the excitement. They fell asleep almost immediately.

They decided to build their new burrow near our den, since we were the first friends they made in the area.

Waking From Hibernation, the Hard Work of Spring Begins - The New ...

 

13

The Biennial Bears` Bonfire – Part 3

The Black Bears of the Smokies - Mountain Realty Group

Background: Every two years Zeke, Anthony, Joe, and Benjamin got together for a week-long camping trip at the lake. One of the highlights of the trip was story-time around the bonfire. This year’s topic is “Chance Encounter With Another Species”. It is Anthony’s turn to speak. You can read Zeke’s story here. Anthony’s story is here.

Now it was Joe’s turn to tell his story.

My story is a little different because it’s about a human.

How About No Bear Meme - Imgflip

As you know, they have what they call “hunting season.” They think that as long as it’s the season, they can do whatever they want in our woods. Mainly they seem to tromp around and make a lot of noise. So I hear a couple of them walking around, trying to find whatever it was they were looking for.

Curious Bear by Joe Motohashi | Bear, Bear pictures, Bear photos

They ended up separating to see if they had better luck. I heard a shot, so I assumed they had been successful.

Then I heard one of the humans start yelling. I don’t really understand human very well, so I went closer to see what had happened. One of the humans was bleeding and the other one was leaning over him. My best guess is that the first human got shot somehow.

Petition · Environmental Protection Agency: Change name of a group ...

I thought I should help, so I went closer to offer. I guess it wasn’t a very good idea. The uninjured human tried to shoot me. Luckily, he was a terrible shot. So he started to run.

I couldn’t believe it. He left his friend behind so he could get away. I  guess he doesn’t know black bears are friendly around here.

I looked down at his buddy. He didn’t look so good. I mean humans are kinda funny looking without any fur, but this one looked particularly bad.

10 Philosophical Bears Thinking Deep Bear Thoughts

I didn’t know what to do. On the one paw, he had been out in my woods trying to kill someone. On the other paw, it seemed cruel to leave him there bleeding.

I  decided to drag him over to Dr. Fox. It wasn’t very far, but when the human saw me coming toward him, he fainted. It was a little insulting. After all, he was the one with the gun.

Hey comment a cute fox image if u love foxes | Object Shows Amino

Dr. Fox looked at the human and asked where I found him. I told him the whole story and asked whether he could help the human.

The doctor said that he would clean up the human and pack some herbs into the wound. It had worked on some others patients, but he hadn’t tried it on something so big. It was going to take a lot of herbs. I  said that I would go out and find them while he cleaned up the patient.

Bears Munching on Ants Indirectly Help Plants | Smart News ...

When I got back, it looked like the human was dead. Dr. Fox said not to worry; he had given his patient something to make him sleepy. I had to admit that he did look a lot better cleaned up and sleeping.

I gave Dr. Fox the herbs. He packed the wound with most of them, then made a paste to hold the herbs in place. The doctor asked how I was going to get him home.

Winter Dens - North American Bear CenterNorth American Bear Center

I hadn’t thought about that. I thought he’d be able to go home after Dr. Fox had fixed him. I certainly didn’t want him in my den; he would scare the children. And I had no idea where he lived. Besides, someone would probably try to shoot me again.

I told Dr. Fox that I needed to go home and talk to Ginny (my wife). She said that he could stay overnight, but that was it. We carried him home and made him a nice bed.The kids looked in on him, but weren’t impressed, so they went back to playing.

Pin on Cute <3

We found a phone in his pocket and found a number for “Home.” I couldn’t call them. Most humans don’t understand bear talk. Ginny said we should text them. She sent, “Git me.”

We waited for a response. “Where are you?” Hmm. That was a good question. How would the humans find him? “Lake Vista beach”

Brown bears in Lake Clark National Park, Alaska image - Free stock ...

“I’ll pick you up in the morning.”

We took him over to the lake in the morning and waited with him. A car finally got there, so we waited in the woods. A woman got out of the car and looked at our human. She started crying and called someone. An ambulance arrived a little later. They said they had no idea who would have packed the wound with herbs, but it saved the man’s life.

29 Animals Waving Goodbye For The Winter (With images) | Cute ...

Nexr week: Benjamin’s story

All pictures courtesy of Google Images

18

The Biennial Bears’ Bonfire – Part 2

Background: Every two years Zeke, Anthony, Joe, and Benjamin got together for a week-long camping trip at the lake. One of the highlights of the trip was story-time around the bonfire. This year’s topic is “Chance Encounter With Another Species”. It is Anthony’s turn to speak. You can read Zeke’s story here.

🔥 Black Bear with a salmon in its mouth : NatureIsFuckingLit

You guys know how much I  like to fish. I’m always the first one out there and pride myself on catching my own. I leave the ones that are already dead for the old guys or someone who has a bad day.

Last fall, something strange began to happen. I’d catch a fish and before I had a chance to get out of the water, this young eagle would grab the fish out of my mouth. The strange part was that as soon as he was away from me, he’d drop the fish.

Grizzly Bear and Bald Eagle (With images) | Bear fishing, Grizzly

The first time, I was annoyed. Stuff like that happens. I caught another fish and went home. The next day was fine, but after that it was a daily occurance.

Bald eagle and brown bear at Katmai National Park | Smithsonian ...

I couldn’t figure out what was happening. Was the poor bird hungry and just not able to hold onto his dinner? Was he incredibly clumsy? It looked like he was doing it on purpose, but that seemed pretty stupid.

I was riding a Washington State ferry when a bald eagle plucked a ...

My son Davey had been pestering me to go fishing. One sunny day, I decided to take him with me. I was teaching him some of the secrets to really good fishing. He was practicing and came up with a really nice salmon. When he turned to show me, that stupid eagle swooped in to grab it.

  How to Survive a Bear Attack: Brown Bears, Black Bears, and Polar ...

I went racing toward the eagle. He was so startled that he missed his target and skidded into the water. I started to laugh. He was fine, but his dignity was suffering.

Eagle and the Bear

I told the eagle that we needed to talk. My son was standing on the side of the river waiting. I told him that I would only be a couple of minutes.

I asked the eagle what he was doing. The eagle explained that it was a game. He was waiting to see how long it was before I got angry. He was pretty sure I’d be able to catch another fish and and not  go hungry.

I told him that he had achieved his goal. I also told him that if he tried it with my son again, he’d better start looking for another river. I think I scared him because I never saw him again.

Too much to bear? Amazing photographs show cub in Russia ...

I caught a fish after that and Davey and I enjoyed a picnic on the sunny river bank. We took a nap in the sun before we went home. The next time we went fishing, I told him show to protect his catch.

Ten Best in 2014 | Bear, Animals beautiful, Brown bear

Next week: Joe’s story.

All pictures courtesy of Google Images

 

 

19

The Biennial Bears’ Bonfire

Every two years Zeke, Anthony, Joe, and Benjamin got together for a week-long camping trip at the lake. One of the highlights of the trip was story-time around the bonfire. Each bear would tell a story about something that had happened to them during the previous two years, based on a given topic. This year’s topic is “Chance Encounter With Another Species”. It was Zeke’s turn to go first.

A Bears Quest for Food | Wise About Bears

My encounter was only a few weeks ago. I was wandering around, looking for berries. I heard a small rustling in one of the bushes. Whatever it was, it had to be small. I couldn’t figure out what kind of little animal wouldn’t be afraid of a bear, especially a full-size size male. Whatever it was, there were berries on the bush and I didn’t want to share them with whatever it was.

Kitten in the bush | Sand cat Sandkatt (Felis margarita) Pho… | Flickr

So I pushed the bush out of the way. I couldn’t believe what was down there. It was a tiny kitten! How would a kitten get there? It was terrified. I didn’t want to scare it anymore, so I sat down. After a while, she stopped shaking and came over to sniff me. I didn’t know what to do. She looked up at me and meowed.

She was so cute. I  reached out a paw and patted her. That was all it took. She started to purr. She climbed into my paw. I put her on my lap. She fell asleep almost immediately. She must have felt safe.

What should I do? I didn’t know anything about kittens. Where was her family? I couldn’t leave her in the woods, but where would she go?

I guess I shouldn’t have worried. When she woke up, she climbed up onto my shoulder. I couldn’t reach her, so I went home. I figured she would go back to her home from there. She climbed down in the den and started to look around. She had no intention of leaving.

I had no idea what to do. I went to Cheri, a lady raccoon I know. She looked a little bit like a cat, so I thought she might know. Cheri said it wasn’t safe to make the kitten leave. She told me that she would find some milk to feed the kitten.

To make a long story short, Kitty decided to adopt me. She follows me everywhere. I think she might think she’s a bear. I taught her how I get insects. Somehow, she learned how to hunt, so she’s eating well. We go to the river together to drink.

Cute video of kitten wrestling with large fish | PoC

She sleeps with me. That took a little getting used to. I was afraid I’d roll over and crush her. She decided that sleeping on me is safest. I think she feels safe with me. I’ve gotten used to having her around and would miss her if she left.

Joe: Where is Kitty now?

Cute little ginger kitten sleeping in gray blanket | Premium Photo

Zeke (embarrassed): I brought a blanket for her to sleep in while I’m with you guys.

Benjamin: She’s here? When do we get to meet her?

Zeke: I didn’t know if you’d want to. I’ll bring her to breakfast. She’ll feel better staying with me.

Our bears and their Habitat - North American Bear CenterNorth ...

Next week: Anthony’s story.

Pictures courtesy of Google Imag

21

Springtime in the Subdivision – Conclusion

Baby Giraffe & Golden Retriever Dog - Best Friends! - Eating ...

Where we are: The residents of Mountain Valley Estates are up in arms about their neighbor Fred’s efforts to keep the neighborhood in compliance with the Association’s rules. His insistence on an overly strict interpretation of the rules has irritated most of his neighbors. They have told Jim, the Association President, that either he gets rid of Fred or they will vote him out of office. You can find Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

The animals have agreed to give Jim two weeks to solve the problem. Toward the end of that time, several of the guys were talking.

People Are Loving The Adventures Of This Hedgehog And Its Bengal ...

Jean-Luc Hedgehog: I haven’t seen Fred of a while. Is he hiding?

Ben Bruin: We were pretty rough on him.

Steve Skunk: Yeah. He was just trying to do his job. And he is our friend.

Al Angora: Maybe. But I get angry when someone makes Fluffy cry.

Henry Goat: Don’t worry guys. He’s OK. He just went to see his brother for the two weeks.

Ben: Good. That will get his mind off what is happening here.

I now call the First Annual meeting of the Unbearably Cute Animals ...

On the promised day, Jim called a meeting to give an update. The animals waited in anticipation.

Jim: Thank you for being here today. Fred and I have come to the decision that he is going to retire.

The animals couldn’t believe what they were hearing. No one really thought that Fred would give up his job.

Amelia Alligator: Did you force him to retire? What’s Fred going to do with his time?

Al:Yeah. I was pretty upset. But I thought you’d be able to come up with some kind of compromise.

GeorgeWBush Library on Twitter: "#ArchivesCUTE First Dog Barney ...

Jim: No, I didn’t fire him. Fred, why don’t you come up here and explain why you are retiring.

Fred: While I was staying with my brother, I did some thinking. I’ve been able to tell that you’re not happy with me. I was going to suggest that we have some meetings to find common ground.

The animals were nodding approvingly, but still wondered how this led to retirement.

Fred: One day, my brother and I went to a diner for breakfast. The waitress and I talked for a long time. We went out that night and were together for the rest of my visit. I’d like to introduce you to the wonderful lady who is going to be my wife. Come on up here, Sweetie.

At first, the animals were stunned into silence. But as the beautiful German Shepard joined Fred, they burst into cheers.

German Shepherd Dog Breed Information and Pictures

Fred: This is Vicki, everyone. She made me the happiest dog in the world when she agreed to marry me.

Steve: But why are you retiring?

Fred: Vicki said that she would make sure I had plenty to do.

Everyone laughed.

Jean-Luc: That’s wonderful, Fred. Congratulations!

Ellen Elk: Congratulations, Fred. But who’s going to make sure the subdivision is going to keep looking good?

German Shepherd memes | Page 2 | German Shepherds Forum

Jim walked back and took the microphone.

Jim: Since I just found out, Fred has agreed to continue until the wedding. Vicki promised to keep him in line.

Everyone laughed again.

Amelia: But what happens after that?

Jim: I’m going to take applications, and the Board will vote on the candidates. We have a month until the wedding.

Accommodating goat gives a chicken a warm roost. | Goats, Farm animals

A few weeks later, Jim called another meeting.

Jim: There were only two applicants interested in the job. The board had an extremely hard time deciding who to choose. So, Emma Chicken and Fred Goat will share the responsibilities. They will write up what they see as violations and give the information to me. At our weekly meeting, the Board will decide whether a letter should be sent to the homeowner.

That decision sounded fair to the animals. Fred’s last month was uneventful. He and Vicki had a beautiful wedding with all of his friends attending.

15 Reasons Why You Shouldn't Adopt A German Shepherd

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

 

21

Springtime in the Subdivision – Part 2

Protesting Cats | Occupy Cuteness seantrank.com | sean.trank | Flickr

Where we are: Fred Fido and two friends have volunteered to police the subdivision for outside violations of the Association’s code. Some of the other residents think Fred is taking his responsibilities a little too seriously. Jim Giraffe, the Association President, has called for a meeting to discuss the rules. See Part 1 here.

Jim: Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you for attending this meeting. We have some important business to discuss.

Al Angora: We certainly do. I want you to put him on a leash.

Angry Dogs Compilation - YouTube

He points at Fred, who bares his teeth.

Al: Figurative speaking, of course.

Fred relaxes a little.

Jim: Al, those are pretty strong words. Are you sure that’s what you meant to say?

Why Do Cats Hiss? | Cuteness

Al: Yes, I’m sure. He got Fluffy crying, and she begged me to come home and cut the grass. It wasn’t even a quarter inch over the required height.

Fred: But you admit that it was too long.

Al arched his back and sat down.

Peppi Pomeranian: I agree with Al. Fred is going too far. I was watering my lawn on the correct day when Fred came by and said that my lawn was wet enough.

Funny Dogs Playing With Hose Compilation - YouTube

Fred: She was wasting water. It was running into the street.

Peppi: That’s because I forgot to turn off the water when you and your crew started yelling at me.

Fred: So you acknowledge that you were wasting water.

Peppi growled and sat down.

Warm weather prompts early alligator appearances in Myrtle Beach ...

Jim: OK. Fred and his friends may have been a little over-enthusiastic. But that’s no reason to be hostile. Remember, he is volunteering his time, and the neighborhood looks a lot better.

Sarah Squirrel: I don’t care. We got a citation for having a lawn ornament. The “ornament” was my mother-in-law sleeping in the sun for a couple of days in a row.

Amelia Alligator: He did the same thing to me about my kids. He said he didn’t know that alligators have to bask in the sun to stay alive.

Meme Maker - everyone-talking-about-cats-and-im-like-bears-are-cool

Ben Bruin: He gave me a noise citation in the middle of the day. My neighbors didn’t call to complain. They know it’s just my natural voice.

The animals started to talk over each other, getting angrier as time went by. It seemed as if Fred had upset everyone in the neighborhood.

Cute animal picture of the day: baby giraffe

Jim: All right, everyone. Let’s settle down so we can discuss this like civilized animals.

Fred: I’m sorry if I offended you. I was just trying to be helpful.

Peppi: You used to be a good dog, Fred. We were buddies.

Amelia: Yeah. You were the first one to welcome us to the neighborhood.

12 Baby Skunks That Are Just Too Stinkin' Cute! - I Can Has ...

Some of the other animals nodded and shared stories.

Steve Skunk: I agree. But you still have to go. You complained about the smell in the house that was getting outside through the open window. Seriously, Fred? We’re skunks.

Al: Sorry, Fred. I agree with Steve. I want you to find something else to do with your spare time.

Fred’s ears and tail were drooping.

Do Dogs Grieve Other Dogs? – American Kennel Club

Fred: I guess I need to quit. You’ll have to hire a professional to do the job.

Jim: Wait a minute, Fred. I like your attitude. Let me think of some way we can compromise on this.

The animals groaned and looked at each other.

Al: You better think of something fast, or we’ll get rid of you too.

Black tabby is angry. | Turkish angora cat, Turkish van cats ...

Next week: Will Jim’s plan work and bring peace to Mountain Valley Estates?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

 

22

Springtime in the Subdivision

Oregon Golf Course to Offer Trained Goat Caddies | SwingU Clubhouse

The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and spring was in the air. Everything looked tranquil in Mountain Valley Estates. A golf cart carrying a dog, a goat, and a chicken was slowly driving around the subdivision.

A group of women were standing in the yard of one of the houses talking when they saw the cart.

In areas of rapid urban development, squirrels and alligators have ...

Sarah Squirrel: Look who’s coming. It’s the Yard Police.

Amelia Alligator: Sarah, we better get home.

Josephine Jaguar: You’re right. We all know what happens if you’re not at home when they stop by.

Amelia: They write your name in their little book and you get a letter from the Association about some imaginary violation.

Writing an Effective Dog Professional Bio – dogbiz

Sarah: It wouldn’t be so bad if they actually worked for the Association. But Fred Fido got bored and talked Henry Goat and Emma Chicken into doing this. The whole thing is ridiculous.

Amelia: I agree. And you can’t talk to them about anything. If they say it’s a problem, it’s a problem.

Sarah and Amelia went home, and Josephine went inside. On her way home, Sarah saw Fred talking to Fluffy Angora.

Turkish Angora Cats, The Cats That Love To Play.

Fred: I need to talk to you about a problem with your yard.

Fluffy: What’s the problem?

Fred: Henry measured your grass, and it’s almost an inch and a half high. You know the Association rules say that it shouldn’t be more than one and a quarter inches high, and the preferred height is one inch.

STALKER CAT IS WATCHING YOU | Stalker Meme on ME.ME

Fluffy: But the Association made an exception for us. Al works out of town as a mouser, and we have four young kittens.

Fred: OK. Then I’ll write it up as a warning. You need to tell Al to get home and mow it. I’m going to talk to Jim (the Association President) and tell him what’s going on.

Fluffy: All right.

Fred: Have a good day.

Fluffy: Thank you.

Family owned and operated! QUALITY Lawn maintenance + a whole lot ...

Fluffy closed the door. How dare that dog accuse them of not taking care of their yard. And that goat had been eating the grass, not measuring it.

Fred: Sometimes, I hate doing this job. It seems like no one appreciates us.

Emma: They just don’t understand how difficult it is to keep a place this big looking good.

Henry: Look! Over there! Water usage violation.

Should You Give Hedgehogs a Bath? - HedgehogNation

Fred went up to Jean-Luc Hedgehog who was holding container of water.

Fred: Jean-Luc, are you aware that you are in violation of the water usage code the Association has distributed?

Jean-Luc: What do you mean?

Fred: Your house’s address ends in an odd number. You can’t water your lawn until tomorrow.

Jean-Luc: I’m not watering my lawn.

Fred: Then why are you carrying water around?

Thoughts on Hedgehog vegetable car? - Hedgehog

Jean-Luc: It’s a watering can. I’m watering my vegetables.

Fred: They’re green, so they’re part of your lawn.

Jean-Luc: That’s ridiculous. They’re new plant. They’ll die if I don’t water them every day.

Fred: I’m sorry. It’s a violation. Here’s your ticket, and you’ll be hearing from the Association.

Jean-Luc took the ticket and stomped into the house. If he’d stayed outside, he was afraid he would have dumped the water on Fred.

Baby Elk- Cutie! Updated - WetCanvas

Fred walked back to the cart. They rode in silence for a while. Then they spotted a tent in Ellen Elk’s backyard.

Fred knocked at the door, but there was no answer. Emma wrote a note and taped it to the door:

Dear Neighbor – The tent in your backyard is a violation of Association rules. If you have guests, they are required to stay in your house, not a separate structure. Please remove the tent immediately. Your Friendly Neighborhood Guardians

When Ellen got home, she read the note. Ellen was furious. She called the Association, but no one answered.

Why Your Dog Loves Antlers | HealthyPets Blog

Note: The dog is holding on voluntarily

They knew she had a tent in her yard. She had to pay a $50 permit fee to put it there. No one was living in it. She was going to use it for her daughter’s birthday party.

The golf cart made a few more stops before they went home. They decided not to stop a Josephine’s house to cite her for violets in her yard. They were all afraid of her.

A few days after this round of visits, everyone received a letter. Jim Giraffe was inviting everyone to a meeting to discuss Association rules.

92 Best ANGRY ANIMALS images | Animals, Angry animals, Cats

Next week: Will the Association management side with Fred or the homeowners?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

 

 

 

17

Feral Purrfessionals: Cats to the Rescue – Part 3

Sunday's Fun And Aww: Hard At Work And Not Appreciating The ...

Where we are: Katie Calico and her friend Elise are working at Mercy General to help the humans in their fight to overcome an extremely contagious virus. Things are going well, although their supervisor Matilda does not seem to be very fond of cats. You can read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

The first week went by quickly. The patients seemed to be happy to have the cats there, helping keep the humans from getting sick. The feedback from the medical staff had also been positive. The only real problem was that Matilda was continuing to complain about the cats’ work ethic and ability to work with humans.

If you think cats are antisocial, maybe it's you, scientists find ...

When Katie and Elise arrived on Monday, Matilda met them at the door.

Matilda: Julie wants to see you. I bet she fires you. Cats have no place in a hospital.

Katie and Elise looked at each other. Timidly, they knocked on Julie’s door.

Julie: Come in and have a seat, ladies. How was your weekend?

Katie: It was very nice. It was good to relax a little. And yours?

Julie: Fine. I’d like to get right to the point. The feedback on your work here last week has been almost entirely positive. However, there is one thing that seems to be a problem.

Elise (nervously): What is that?

IM On Ur Desk Cat Meme - Cat Planet | Cat Planet

Julie: I need to know who’s been covering for you at lunchtime. The wait times are terrible and the reports going back to the medical staff are inaccurate. Matilda says that you must not have trained whoever you chose. They need to be trained today or the whole cat program will need to be re-evaluated.

Katie: You’ve already talked to Matilda about this?

Julie: Yes. And she’s very concerned. She can’t tell who is working because they are using your log-in information. Which is also against hospital rules.

Katie and Elise looked at each other, unsure of what to say. Matilda had been working during lunches.

The Hilarious History of Cat Memes | Dr. Elsey's

Julie: You’re not in trouble. Your work has been outstanding. But I need to fix this problem. I want you to be able to stay.

Katie (hesitantly): I’m not sure how to say this…

Elise: It’s Matilda. She’s been covering our lunches.

Julie: That’s ridiculous. Why would Matilda lie about something like this? Besides, she’s worked in the department for years. She wouldn’t make these types of mistakes. I don’t know who you’re trying to protect, but I need the truth.

Katie: We’re not trying to protect anyone. Matilda covers our lunches.

Cute Cat Meme - Imgflip

Julie: I’m sorry. You’re not going to be able to work here if I can’t trust you.

Elise started to cry. Katie tried to think of a way to prove what they were saying.

Katie: There are security cameras everywhere in the hospital. There must be one in the triage area. Or in the computer we use. Can’t you look at that?

Julie: I really don’t like the idea of spying on my employees, but I’ll see what I can find. Go back to work for now.

They worked all day, nervous and scared. At the end of the day, they were called into Julie’s office. Matilda was already there. She glared at the cats when they walked in.

Julie: Please sit down. Matilda and I have been looking over the security footage. I would like to apologize for not believing you earlier.

Skeptical Cat - Imgur

Katie and Elise looked at each other, not believing what they were hearing.

Julie: The security cameras are not very good, but it is definitely a human, not a cat, who is there when you are not. But why are you not logging off at lunchtime?

Elise: We do log off. Matilda said we would be fired if we didn’t.

Julie: OK. Let me find out who has access to your security information.

Matilda: What difference does it make? They’re cats. They’re probably lying.

Therapy Cat Is evaluating. - Cheezburger - Funny Memes | Funny ...

Julie: I need to get to the bottom of this. It concerns our duty to our patients.

Julie called the Technology Department. Matilda started flipping through a file she had brought to the meeting. Julie asked several questions, and then hung up the phone.

Julie: That was strange. Matilda, he said that the only people who have access to passwords are the immediate supervisor and senior management. I know I wasn’t covering the lunches. The cats seem certain that they logged off. That only leaves you.

Programmers need a perfect pet and we know the best one – MissMeowni

Matilda: Why would I use their accounts? I have my own.

Julie: That’s a good point. Why would you?

Julie didn’t say anything more and looked at Matilda. Katie and Elise looked at Matilda. The room was tense. Finally, Matilda spoke.

Matilda: OK. Fine. I did it.

Katie: Why would you do that?

Matilda: Cats don’t belong in hospitals. You eat vermin, sleep all the time, and don’t use soap and water when you bathe.

cats desk Memes & GIFs - Imgflip

Julie: What does that have to do with anything? Look at them. They’re as clean as you are. And I haven’t seen them even resting while they’re on duty.

Matilda: They’re animals, and they don’t belong in a hospital.

Julie: Why did you make all of those mistakes? I know you are better than that.

Matilda: I wanted to let everyone know that they aren’t perfect.

I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, Therefore I am perfect ...

The other three looked at her in disbelief. She was putting the patients and staff in danger because she didn’t like cats.

Julie: Katie and Elise, I would like to apologize again. I had no idea something like this would happen. You can go home, and I’ll see you in the morning.

Relieved, Katie and Elise left. When they returned the next morning, Matilda was not there. She had been terminated for security violations.

The cat program turned out to be a great success at Mercy General. Katie and Elise stayed until the end of the crisis, then returned to their real jobs. They had learned a great deal about hospital administration and human sickness that would be useful as their careers progressed.

Sorry, Cat Haters, Science Isn't On Your Side | Popular Science

 Pictures courtesy of Google Images