16

Kitty Yelp: What the Cats are Really Thinking

We thought we’d take a quick trip around Kitty Yelp to see what’s going on. All ratings are based on a best of five.

Joe’s Bistro

Have been here several times (it’s close to home). The service is pretty good, but the food is very uneven. We’ve had excellent salmon and tuna. But the chef uses a LOT of beans. What cat likes beans? And the chicken always seems to be in sauce. We’re not huge fans of tomato sauce. Definitely call ahead to find out what the daily special is going to be.

😺😺😺

Battery-Powered Fish Toy For Cats | Apartment Therapy

Flopping Fish Toy

Have to admit I was excited when I unwrapped this fish. It was huge. I thought it was for cuddling, or maybe a kick toy. Then the humans plugged it in, and it started to flop around. It was so scary! I thought it was going to whack me in the face. Definitely not for small or timid kitties.

😺

Cat Woman 🙏 🇺🇦 🇬🇧 on Twitter: "Nah! Too energetic for this time in the morning ♥️🌈 #cats #CatsofTwittter#CatsLover #CatsOnTwitter https://t.co/XZuvco9VE9" / Twitter

Dr D’s Catnip Zoomers

The name says it all. These treats are pawsome!!! Eat a couple and you’ll be racing around the house, getting into everything. They’re a little pricey, but definitely worth the money (especially if it belongs to your human). Highly recommend.

😺😺😺😺😺+++++++++

CuddleSoft Electric Bed Warmer

It is definitely soft and fuzzy. But the buttons on the control are hard to push if you’re a kitty. And if the human turns it on at night, it doesn’t stay on all day while they’re gone. I would recommend not moving off of it once you get it warmed up.

😺😺😺

Toasty Soft Throw

It’s really furry. Very comfortable. Not big enough to share with a human, so make sure they have one of their own. Biggest plus is that you can step on the corner and turn it on. The longer you press, the warmer it gets. It is so snuggly!! You probably want one in every room in the house.

😺😺😺😺😺

Pet Camp | Overnight Cat Boarding San Francisco | Affordable Kitty Care

Happy Cat Boarding Palace

It ain’t a palace, and it ain’t full of happy cats. I was stuck there for a week. The humans were okay, I guess. But the name is a lie. They let DOGS stay there too. And dogs are noisy and smell weird. I tried to escape, but they lock EVERYTHING up. I made sure my humans knew what a mistake it was. I am NEVER going back there.

😺- because Kitty Yelp doesn’t allow zero happy cats

Pin by Voodoo Doll Creates on Cat memes I've made | Cat memes, Cats, Cat treats

Simon’s Mega Bucket O’Treats

It is a big bucket of treats, and pretty cheap. Some of them are pretty good, like the salmon and chicken. But some of the flavors are pretty weird. Not sure what “Field Prey” was supposed to taste like, don’t think it was supposed to be grass. There were also some yellow ones. I think they were supposed to be banana. I don’t know any cats who like bananas. I will probably stick with name-brand treats in the future.

😺😺

Now that's a cat buffet, that's how it's done : r/cats

Albert’s Buffet

We are NEVER going back there. They were so rude. We waited in line for a half an hour before we got to the buffet line. Then they told us that we had to use plates. What cat can carry a plate? So they made plates for us, and made us sit in a corner. Away from everything. And they gave us stuff that no cat in its right mind would ever eat. Like green beans and mashed potatoes. When we went back for more fish, they THREW us on the floor. We jumped back up, but then they made us leave. Seriously, why do they let cats in?

😺

Ma Maison

Inside living quarters. Comes with 3 beds, 2 humans, and a bed warmer. Warm and dry. Ample kibble and bits. Sometimes the food smells fishy. Minus points for making me lose my man parts and no wild game. On balance, would highly recommend.

😺😺😺😺

Pictures courtesy of Google Images (except us)

32

Treats for the Perfect Kitty Halloween

Cute Black Cat Halloween Wallpapers - Top Free Cute Black Cat Halloween  Backgrounds - WallpaperAccess

Greetings from Snoops and Kommando Kitty. We are sure that some of your humans are planning Halloween parties this weekend. And more holiday parties will be coming over the next few weeks. We want to make sure that you are not forgotten when the goodies are prepared. (Some humans are amazingly selfish when it comes to their own treats and just will not share.)

Best Cat Costumes For Halloween 2020 | POPSUGAR Pets

Most of these treats are really easy to make, so don’t let your human tell you that they don’t have the time or energy. It’s the least they can do for you in return for all you do for them. These treats can all be stored in the refrigerator for up to a week in an airtight container or frozen for longer storage.

Gladstone Veterinary Clinic. Cat Treats

Kitty Kisses (from Kerrie Rageth at allrecipes.com)

Ingredients: 1 teaspoon catnip, 1 can cat food

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
  2. Combine catnip and cat food in the blender.
  3. Puree until smooth.
  4. Spoon into a small bag and cut a hole in the corner.
  5. Squeeze 1/2-inch “kisses” onto a parchment paper-lined baking sheet.
  6. Bake for 15 minutes.

Can Cats Eat Carrots? - All About Cats

Carrot and Catnip Kitty Cat Treats (from Tina Verrelli at epicuricloud.com)

Ingredients: 2 tablespoons coconut or olive oil; 1 1/4 cups flour (plus additional for rolling dough); 1 tablespoon dried catnip (optional); 3/4 cup finely shredded carrot; 1 large egg, lightly beaten; cold water (as needed)

  1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
  2. Mix 1 cup of flour and oil in a medium bowl.
  3. Stir in catnip and carrots.
  4. Add in egg. Adjust consistency with water or flour if necessary. It should hold together but not be too wet and sticky.
  5. Roll or pat dough to 1/4-inch thickness. Sprinkle dough with additional flour, if needed.
  6. Prick dough all over with a fork. Cut into 1/2-inch squares with a pizza wheel.
  7. Arrange squares on a parchment paper-lined baking sheet.
  8. Bake approximately 12 minutes (until they start to brown).

Pumpkin for Cats - How and When to Use It - PetGuide

Pumpkin and Salmon Kitty Bits (from Tina Verrelli at epicuricloud.com)

Ingredients: 1 1/4 cup oat flour; 5 oz. salmon, drained; 1 large egg, 1/4 cup pumpkin puree

  1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F.
  2. Break the salmon up with a fork, chopper, or blender.
  3. Combine 1 cup oat flour, salmon, egg, and pumpkin in a bowl. Mix by hand or with an electric mixer until a dough forms.
  4. Turn dough onto parchment paper-lined baking sheet.
  5. Roll or pat dough to 1/4-inch thickness. Sprinkle with addition flour, if needed.
  6. Prick dough all over with a fork.
  7. Bake for 15 minutes.
  8. Remove from oven and cut into small pieces.
  9. Spread out the pieces and bake for another 15-20 minutes (until crunchy).

Our cat trying to steal cheese : r/AccidentalRenaissance

Tuna & Cheddar Whisker Biscuits (from Tina Verrelli at epicuricloud.com)

Ingredients: 1 can water-packed tuna, drained; 1/3 cup shredded cheese or finely grated carrot, 1 egg, 1 1/3 cup oat flour (plus extra for dusting); 1 tablespoon dried catnip (optional); 1/4-1/2 cup cold water

  1. In a food processor or blender, mince the tuna and cheddar to a fine texture.
  2. Pulse together the egg, flour, and catnip.
  3. While running on low, add enough water to form a ball.
  4. Divide the ball into 4 smaller balls, wrap in plastic, and refrigerate for 30 minutes.
  5. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
  6. Sprinkle a little flour on the work surface. Roll each ball into a long “snake.” Cut each “snake” into to small pieces and roll into a chick pea-size ball. Flatten with a fork.
  7. Bake on a parchment paper-lined baking sheet for 10-15 minutes to desired texture.

Why Do Cats Like Fish?

Purr-fect Kitty Salmon Treats (from Tina Verrelli at epicuricloud.com)

Ingredients: 1 egg, lightly beaten; 1 tablespoon oil, 6-8 oz. canned salmon, drained with liquid reserved, 1 1/2 cups oat flour, 1/2 cup old fashioned oats, 2 tablespoons brewers’ yeast, 1 tablespoon dried catnip

  1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
  2. Whisk together egg and oil in a medium bowl.
  3. Break up salmon with a fork and add to the egg mixture.
  4. Use mixer with dough hook to add flour, oats, yeast, and catnip.
  5. Slowly add salmon liquid until a stiff dough forms.
  6. Form into 1/2-teaspoon balls, press down onto parchment paper-lined with the tines of a fork.
  7. Bake 10-13 minutes until dry on top, but slightly soft on the bottom.
  8. Cool completely on baking sheet.

Fritz the cat wants to eat all of my cheese and crackers! : r/cats

Meow-ums Kitty Crackers (from Tina Verrelli at epicuricloud.com)

Ingredients: 2 tablespoons coconut or olive oil; 1 cup flour (plus additional for rolling dough); 2 tablespoons brewers’ yeast (optional); 1 tablespoon dried catnip (optional); 3/4 cup shredded cheese or finely shredded carrot; 1 large egg, lightly beaten; 2 tablespoons cold water

  1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
  2. Combine oil, flour, and yeast in a medium bowl.
  3. Add in catnip and cheese.
  4. Mix in egg and add water 1 tablespoon at a time until a dough forms.
  5. Roll the dough into 1/4-inch thickness (dough may need to be wrapped and refrigerated for an hour if it is too soft to work with).
  6. Cut dough into 1-inch squares with a pizza cutter.
  7. Arrange squares on parchment paper-lined baking sheet and prick with fork.
  8. Bake for 12 minutes or until starting to brown.
  9. Cool on baking sheet.

5 Hidden Dangers To Cats on Halloween – Meowingtons

Ed. Note: Upon further review of these recipes, we would like to note that very nice treats may also be purchased from Chewy, Temptations, and other vendors. Purchasing treats rather than baking them does not indicate any lower level of love or devotion.

Happy Halloween! - Poorly Dressed - fashion fail

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

24

Notes from Snoops and Kommando Kitty

Greetings from Snoops and Kommando Kitty. It’s been a while since we’ve written a post ourselves, so we thought we’d share some thoughts. It’s been really hot here, and the house doesn’t have air conditioning, so there won’t be anything too exciting.

Our human brother finished our catio a few weeks ago. We were just getting used to it when the heat set in. Mom has refused to install a fan, so it’s a little humid at the moment. Now we need to get them to reroute the traffic. It’s pretty quiet most of the time, but there’s something called “rush hour” when cars use the road.

Cat TV hasn’t been as interesting as we hoped. Mom doesn’t have a bird feeder in the summer because she can’t keep the squirrels out long enough for the birds to get to the food. We don’t really understand why she can’t just feed the squirrels. They’re fun to watch too. We have seen a couple of hummingbirds. Maybe we could get her a book on how to attract really interesting stuff. Perhaps a wildebeest.

Mom seems to be a little on edge lately. We’ve been trying to help her watch videos to relax, but she has really bad taste (they’re all about humans). Then she gets upset when we stop the video or stand in front of it to keep her from seeing what is going on. Maybe we should get our own Netflix account. That way we could find the good stuff for her.

Our human nephew is getting bigger – and louder. We’ve never been around small humans before and hope that Mom doesn’t intend to make any permanent additions to the household. There doesn’t seem to be a mute button on him the way there is on the computer and television.

We’re rather disappointed. We keep hearing about cicadas, but still haven’t seen any. The ants that have gotten into the house are boring. The humans saw recipes online, so they must be good for snacking. They don’t let any other insects in here to chase, but there’s supposed to be a lot of cicadas so maybe a few can sneak in.

Our human brother has been cleaning out the pantry. He says he’s going to make it easier for Snoops to catch any mice that get in there. We’re looking forward to whatever he comes up with. In the meantime, he’s unearthed some treats that got buried. We’ve decided that he can be pretty useful, and we should keep him around.

 

Have you guys been shedding extra this year? We got rid of our winter fur a few weeks ago, but the heat wave seems to have released a new bunch. We don’t really mind, but Mom says that fur in her face is more annoying in the humidity than the rest of the year. Like we said, she’s seemed a little grumpy lately. (Probably the heat.)

That’s it for us. Hope everyone’s having a good summer so far. Purrs and head rubs.

 

18

Common Cat Questions

Tilly the Confused Cat Overcomes Horrible Attack to Win Hearts | PEOPLE.com

Hello fellow felines. The weather here has been pretty gloomy, and Cat TV has been temporarily cancelled. So we’ve been thinking. There are some questions that we never seem to get answers to. Maybe you’ve gotten an answer from your human and can share it with the rest of us.

Cat Not Eating? 10 Probable Reasons Why | CertaPet

Why does the cat food that is “good for you” always taste worse than what you were eating?

I Can Has Cheezburger? - impatient - Funny Animals Online - Cheezburger

Why do humans always say they’ll only be gone a little while? It would be much more useful to use a cat measurement. Like one nap or two. The length of a typical mouse hunt. Until the sun puddles disappear.

Weird Behaviors: Why Do Cats Open Their Mouths After Smelling Something?

Who decides that cat litter smells pleasant? We can smell some of that stuff from the next room.

Cat suffers for horrible case of Chickenpox : aww

Why is it so much easier to get fish-flavored treats than other kinds? We have friends who don’t like fish. The only place we could find decent treats was online. It was Christmas, and we didn’t have time to go mousing.

ERROR CAT EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING Memecentercom Cat Error 3 | Cats Meme on  ME.ME

Why does our human say, “Here, kitty kitty”? Did she suddenly forget our names?

Cat playing with toy mouse image - Free stock photo - Public Domain photo -  CC0 Images

Why do humans complain about mice running around the house, but also complain if we show them that we killed it?

Why Do Cats Lay on Paper? — Senior Cat Wellness

Why is it OK for the humans to put their stuff on our cat trees, but not OK for us to lie on their papers?

It's not shedding... | Funny cat memes, Kittens funny, Funny cats

Why do they tell us we have beautiful fur then complain when we share it with them?

Why Do Cats Like Boxes? - Catster

Why do they leave boxes lying around if they don’t want us to use them? (Same question for clothes and other stuff they leave out.)

Cats playing video games - Bravado Gaming

Why do humans think they get to decide when we cuddle or play?

Some Facts About Cats Talking To Each Other | Best cat gifs, Cats, Cat talk

If you have any insight, please pass it along.

Kitten Soft Sleeping Cat - Free photo on Pixabay

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

17

Training Your Cat (LOL

PsBattle: This cat sitting down. : photoshopbattles

Humans are so cute.  We read an article this week about how to train your cat. Hopefully, all you felines out there know that we train. We are not trained.

Human obedience training. - Lolcats - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny  cat pictures with words on them | funny pictures | lol cat memes | lol cats

We are aware that some of you love your humans so much that you would do almost anything for them. We are not judging you; you are welcome to do whatever you want. Even in this instance, however, you are controlling what you are doing for your human. They are not controlling your behavior.

Shelter Cats Across the Country Are Learning to High Five to Increase Their  Adoption Chances | PEOPLE.com

The other cats who may engage in this type of behavior are those who are seeking fame and fortune. Due to the intense species-ism of the humans, we must cater to their whim of feeling that they are in control. Be careful. Jumping onto a shelf or slapping your human’s hand is one thing. Walking on your hind legs in a tutu is strictly dog territory no matter how badly you want to be on YouTube.

Clicker Training Your Cat – PoC

The humans recommend two methods of training. They will either use a “clicker” or treats to motivate you. We have no clue why they think that the average cat would respond to a clicker. There is nothing for us in that arrangement. Even if you love your human, try to get them to move to the treat method.

Why does my cat steal things? | The Healthy Pet Club

When they get out the clicker, lead them to the treat jar. If they don’t get the idea at first, don’t respond to the clicker. If your human continues to try the clicker, you may need to be a little more direct. We recommend you hide the clicker. Preferably someplace they won’t look – like the back of the closet.

Cute Cat Meme - Imgflip

If your human uses treats, make sure they are good treats. Also make sure you get a whole treat every time. Some humans are recommending that we only get a piece of treat every time we do what they want so we don’t get fat. If your human tries that, wait patiently for the rest of the treat before you do anything else.

Why do cats lie in the sun? | Tenerife News – Official Website

We recommend that even if you want to be “trained” by your human, you need to set limits. If you’re not getting famous or gaining the complete attention of your human, go back to your regular hobbies. There’s no point in annoying yourself when you could be relaxing in the sun.

Pampered Cat - Lolcats - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny cat pictures  with words on them | funny pictures | lol cat memes | lol cats

Of course, never let your human know that you are humoring them. We get more if they think they are in charge.

Training my Human to walk on a leash... - Cheezburger - Funny Memes | Funny  Pictures

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

11

Cat Forum: Seriously, Human?

Greetings. Snoops and Kommando Kitty here. We’ve been going through our correspondence and noticed a trend. A lot of cats are wondering why their humans ask such silly questions. The short answer is: we have no idea.

However, we have come up with some possible answers. Which one you use will depend on your level of cattitude. If you have better ideas, let us know and we’ll share them in a later.

Image result for cat clawing meme

Does kitty want snuggles?

  1. Don’t you remember our snuggle appointment is 2:30 am? I’ll let you know if I’m available other times.
  2. Don’t ever wake me up to ask that question again.
  3. I suppose. But remember: it’s a favor because I love you.

Image result for cat and dog meme

Fluffy, do you like the new puppy?

  1. Can you return it?
  2. I suppose he can stay if you can get rid of the smell.
  3. Oh good! You finally got me the servant I’ve been asking for. I hope he’s easier to train that you were.

Image result for cat with food meme

Don’t you love the new, all-natural, low-fat food I got you? You look slimmer and sleeker already.

  1. It tastes like wood, and I’m starving to death.
  2. I’ve been feeding it to the dog, and I’m starving to death.
  3. I hope you enjoy the chunks I put in your soup so you can appreciate the “interesting, non-carnivore” flavoring.

Image result for cat and mouse meme

Why did you put a mouse in my slipper?

  1. I thought you might want a snack in the middle of the night.
  2. You are the worst hunter I have ever seen. I wondered if you could find a mouse if it was right under your nose.
  3. I thought it would make a nice storage facility for my back-up snack supply.

Image result for cat clawing meme0.2

Will you please stop clawing the chair?

  1. No.
  2. I’m bored. I’ll stop if you buy me a hamster.
  3. In a few minutes. I’m almost done.

Image result for cat and treats meme

Why are you always begging for treats?

  1. I want to get rid of these ones so you’ll buy the kind I like.
  2. I’m starving.
  3. I like the way you look when I keep coming back. And your voice gets funny-sounding too.

Image result for cat at door meme

Why are you standing at the back door?

  1. I want to go out, and it was raining when you opened the front door.
  2. I want to go out to see if they delivered my package back here.
  3. I let the puppy out. I’m waiting to see if he comes back.

Image result for funny cat and dog memes clean

Why did you whack the dog in the nose?

  1. He looked at me.
  2. He looked too peaceful sleeping there.
  3. It’s a game I invented.

Image result for cats and cameras meme

Why won’t you let me take your picture?

  1. You don’t respect my privacy when I’m bathing.
  2. You never pay me for posing.
  3. You always have that thing in my face. Even when I’m sleeping.

Image result for angry cat meme

Why are you mad at me?

  1. You made me wait for breakfast while you used the bathroom.
  2. You smell weird. You were around other cats.
  3. You bought that icky litter that stinks and sticks to my paws.

We hope these suggestions are helpful. Just remember, some human qualities are just too strange to understand. Like why they get mad if you sleep on the kitchen counter but think it’s cute if you sleep in the sink.

Just remember: A snuggle and a purr will get you out of pretty much anything you do. Your “cute” face usually works too.

Purrs and Head Bonks,

Snoops and Kommando Kitty

 

6

Miaow Miaow (Holiday Treat Time)

The holidays are upon us, and everyone knows that means food. And gifts. Everyone loves homemade gifts, right? (Having received horrible ceramics, tree ornaments, and dried-out baked treats – not from our children – most of us would probably question that truism.)

Anyway, cats are members of the family. This year, I decided to look through some of the websites that have recipes for cat treats. As you may recall, Snoops and Kommando Kitty both love the Internet. So I have included their input.

These two received two paws up. (That’s good.)

Holiday Cheese Ball Treats

  • 2 tablespoons of margarine
  • 1/2 cup grated cheddar or cheddar jack cheese
  • 1 egg white from a large egg
  • 1/2 cup whole wheat flour
  • 1 teaspoon of fresh chopped catnip or 1/2 teaspoon of dried catnip

Combine the first three ingredients until well blended. In a separate bowl, combine flour and catnip. Add the flour mixture slowly to the first three ingredients, mixing until a soft dough ball is formed. Separate into 1/2-inch pieces and roll by hand into small balls. Place the balls on an ungreased cookie sheet, and bake at 300 degrees F for approximately 25 minutes. Yield: Approximately 12 balls. Cool completely before serving.

Tuna Ball Treats

  • 1/2 cup of whole-wheat flour
  • 1/2 cup of powdered milk
  • 1/2 cup of tuna packed in oil
  • 1 large beaten egg
  • 1/4 cup of water

Grease a cookie sheet with margarine or use one lined with a silicone sheet. In a bowl, mix the flour and powdered milk together. In a separate bowl, combine the tuna and egg together, mashing the tuna until it is no longer chunky. Add the tuna mixture to the dry ingredients, and add the water a little at a time until a slightly sticky dough ball is formed. Using two spoons or a small cookie scoop, create balls and place them about one-inch apart on a non-stick cookie sheet. Cook in the oven at 350 degrees F for approximately 25 minutes. Cool completely before serving to your pet.

Kitty Komment – We don’t know what whole wheat flour or powdered milk are, but cheese and tuna are yummy. And catnip is always good.

These two received two paws down. (That’s bad.)

Baby Food Treats

3 jars baby food meat (or veggies)
1 and 1/2 c wheat germ (or cream of wheat)
small amount of tuna juice

Mix well. Drop by 1/4 spoonfuls onto wax paper covered plate and cover with wax paper. Cook in microwave on high for 5-8 minutes until formed and firm. Store in fridge.

Kitty Komment – Does it really need one? Baby food and wheat germ?

Kitty Bruschetta

  • Lightly toast one piece of bread in the toaster.
  • Cut the toast into one-inch cubes.
  • Brush the tops of the cubes with a little fresh fish oil.
  • Lightly sprinkle the cubes with dried fish flakes.
  • Bake in an oven or toaster oven at 350 degrees F until the cubes are a rich golden brown.

Allow to cool slightly and serve warm.

Kitty Komment – Hissssss. Dried fish flakes are FISH food. Real cats don’t eat toast.

 Special Mention

Hanging Treats

  • Christmas tree cookie cutter
  • Piping bag with fine nozzle
  • Red or green grosgrain ribbon
  • 1 pound of lean, ground chicken
  • 1 16-oz. can of mackerel, chopped
  • 2 cups soy flour
  • 1 cup wheat germ
  • 1 cup powdered skim milk
  • 1 cup coarse, dry cornmeal
  • 2 cups whole-wheat flour
  • 1 cup rye flour
  • 2 tablespoons Animal Essentials calcium
  • 3 tablespoons kelp
  • 4 tablespoons safflower oil
  • 1/2 tablespoon cod liver oil
  • 1/4 cup alfalfa powder
  • 3 cloves garlic, minced
  • 400 IU vitamin E
  • 1 quart distilled water
  • 1 cup low-fat cream cheese, softened
  • 1 tablespoon raw honey

Mix all the ingredients together. Knead into a firm dough. Roll the dough out on a cookie sheet about 1/2-inch thick. Cut into Christmas tree shapes. Poke a hole at the top of each tree for the ribbon.

Bake at 350 degrees Fahrenheit for 30 to 45 minutes until lightly toasted. Cool in the oven for an hour or leave overnight to harden.

Mix the cream cheese with the honey and add the coloring. Whip into a fluffy consistency. Transfer to a piping bag fitted with a fine nozzle. Trace the tree’s outline with the frosting and add a few polka dots. Refrigerate for two to three hours to set the frosting.

Cut the ribbon into strips of about 6 inches, long enough to tie a bow. Decorate your Christmas tree with a few and store the rest in the refrigerator.

Kitty Komment – These really sound disgusting, but it might be worthwhile just to see the humans try to find all this stuff. And go through all this work for something we wouldn’t eat.

So if you’re like most of us and have scads of time during the holiday season, these recipes might fill some of those empty hours. And there are many more online if you can wade through all the doggy treats. Or you could order treats from any number of online vendors. Or you could just open a can of mackerel and show your love by putting up with the smell for a day.