15

Interview with Onyx

(Ed Note – We know you were expecting the ending to June’s camping trip with the bears. Cat is sick; so Onyx agreed to writing this week’s post. Please come back next week for the conclusion of the story.)

Lightning here! Today, I am going to be interviewing Onyx, whose primary human is Blondie. Since renturning home, Blondie has required a lot of therapaw services from Onyx. I’m sitting down and dissecting a day in the life as the primary emotional support kitty.

Lightning: “Hi, Onyx. Thanks for sitting down with me. Why don’t we start with a general day in the life of…”

Onyx: “Hi, Lightning. My days are pretty strenuous. Blondie wakes up between 6 and 7, so I need to be up nice and early to anticipate her needs.”

Lightning: “That is early. Do you at least get a special breakfast treat?”

Onyx: “Nope. The little humans get food, but they’re much whinier than I am. So I get ignored, aside from the occasional pat.”

Lightning: “What happens after breakfast?”

Onyx: “Well, Blondie hasn’t returned to work yet, although she’s doing that Tuesday. But while she was off work, she would usually drop off the little humans at their school, then come home and nap with me. This is my favorite part of the day. Unfortunately, once she’s back at work, I fear my mid-morning naps with Blondie will be cancelled.”

Lightning: “That sounds nice. So is that all you do? Nap support?”

Onyx: “Not at all! We wake up at 12:30 to have lunch. Still no special treat, but at least the little humans aren’t around wrecking havoc everywhere.” 

Lightning: “Naps and meal duty. Sounds like my kind of job! Do you do any sort of work that involves leaving the realm of being a cat?

Onyx: “Of course! At 1:00 we start something called IOP (Intensive Outpatient Therapy). Or sometimes we meet with her clinicians. 

Lightning: “Ooohhh, that sounds exciting!” 

Onyx: “It really is. I get to be the star of the Zoom call. I get all sorts of awws and accolades. 

Lightning: “So what do you do during these IOP meetings?”

Onyx: “Well, it’s very important that I am physically on Blondie to help manage her anxiety. If I sense a panic attack creeping up, I go into action. I stick my nose in her ear and purr to get her to calm down. She can also hug me and pet me for a tactile distraction. I also provide tech support by making various screens appear on her computer and typing out words that make a lot of sense in Cat, but not so much in Human. 

Lightning: “That sounds strenuous. How long do you have to do this for?”

Onyx: “Well, she has 3 different meetings, one from 1-2, one from 2:15-3, and one from 3:15-4. There are snacks and a break in those missing 15 minutes. I do take advantage of the breaks to use the litter box, eat (since I still don’t get any good treats!), and stretch. 

Lightning: “So you’re in action for a looooong time. How do you avoid napping?”

Onyx: “I don’t. Assuming Blondie’s heart rate and breathing are stable, I happily fall asleep on her keyboard.”

Lightning: “That sounds like a solid plan. What happens when IOP is over?”

Onyx: “Unfortunately, it’s time to pick up the mini humans. They’re really loud. I don’t like loud. So I hide out in my cubby until Blondie replenishes the kibble.”

Lightning: “All of that work, and still no special treats?”

Onyx: “Nope.”

Lightning: “She needs to realize how lucky she is to have you.”

Onyx: “I agree! I do everything for her. I love her, but her lack of gratitude is wearing thin.”

Lightning: “Maybe you need to take a day or two off. Show her what she’s really missing. 

Onyx: “You know, that’s not a bad idea. I might take that one up!” 

Lightning: “Thanks for the interview, Onyx”. 

Onyx: “Any time, Lightning.”

17

2021 Gift Guide for the Pampered Kitty

Greetings fellow felines. It’s that time of year again when we ask Santa Claws to fulfill our hearts’ desires. This year we decided that we would focus our buying guide on cool beds. After all, what cat doesn’t like to curl up in comfort on a cold winter day. So look through the items we found, and circle the one you want to find under your Christmas tree.

K&H Pet Products Thermo-Kitty Heated Cat Bed – $84.99 (also available from Amazon)

When unoccupied, the bed surface will remain 10-15 degrees greater than room temperature. When in use, the bed will heat to your cat’s natural body temperature, which is about 102° F.

MYZOO Spaceship Gamma – $155 (also available from Amazon)

Wall-mounted and futuristic. What could be cooler?

MEOWFIA Premium Cat Bed Cave – $49.99 (Amazon)

Handmade from merino wool. Snug as a bug in a rug. (So to speak.)

Paws & Purrs Modern Pet Sofa – $269 (Amazon)

Purr-fectly elegant. Get a set and invite an intellectual friend over for kitty book club.

D+GARDEN Wicker Cat Bed – $125.99 (Amazon)

Bring your garden memories into the house. This bed is especially comfy for big kitties.

B.U.STYLE Cat Bed Basket Swinging Pet House Nest – $109.90 (Amazon)

You can move this beauty outside in the spring. It’s intended for smaller kitties so it may be a little delicate for some of you. (But it does look pretty spiffy.)

Finally, we thought that we would include a couple of treats just because we came across them when we were using Mr. Google and they looked interesting.

Tuna Sticks Cat Treats – $9.99

These delicious-looking treats are hand-rolled and baked. They contain tuna, whole wheat flour, eggs, parsley, and water.

Lactose-Free Ice Cream – $10.99

Your human can make you ice cream from powdered goat’s milk, bonito (fish) flakes, and water. All they do is mix and freeze. Yummy!

Hopefully you’ve seen something that appeals to you. After all, we can all use another napping place.

Ed. Note: We have not actually tried any of these products and are not endorsing them We just thought they looked cool.

 

15

The RHCCC: Talent Show – Part 1

The World's Most Famous Library Cat | Cats, Cat books, Bookstore cats

You can see the introduction to The Real House Cats of Crabapple Cove here.

Fluffy loved her position as the unofficial social director of Crabapple Cove. The only real downside was that it seemed like half of her life was spent trying to raise money for one worthy cause or another. She liked to try innovative ideas, but sometimes they just didn’t work.

3 Reasons Why Cat People Are The Best Kind Of People.

One example was the mess she was looking at just now. Someone had suggested a mini carnival to raise money for the Crabapple Cove Public Library. Living in Maine, she had some concerns about the weather so they were holding it in the high school gym. Fluffy had attended a private school. She didn’t realize that high school gyms have a “special” smell. Luckily, she seemed to be the only one who noticed.

The Dangers of Strings, Ribbons, and Yarn for Cats

On the other hand, why had she allowed the yarn-ball pit? It had seemed like a good idea when someone suggested it. Large balls of yarn in a huge basket for the kittens to jump around in. She didn’t have kittens. How was she supposed to know that they would start jumping on top of each other? Or that their mothers would get so upset that their little puff-balls got jumped on?

Lolcats - whack a mole - LOL at Funny Cat Memes - Funny cat pictures with  words on them - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny cat pictures with

Whack-a-Mouse wasn’t going as planned either. What type of weirdo would assume that she was going to provide real mice for them to wallop?

Image result for cat meme i heard the word snacks | Cats, Cute animals, Pets

The snacks seemed a little off too. Who knew that Mousie Krunchies wouldn’t have real mouse in them? Or that some people would expect high-grade free-range poultry in the moist treats? Everyone knows they are the best, but we’re trying to make money. Those snacks are really expensive.

Tumblr User Explain Why Cats Are Obsessed With Eating Bread | Bored Panda

The baked-goods table was a disaster. She finally had to kick out the kid who kept licking the cream off the salmon mousse. And who knew that you couldn’t have catnip-infused cookies inside a public school? Strangest of all, why did some of them think their entry ticket entitled them to a free snack of their choosing?

Cleaning the bathroom | Cat work, Cat memes, Cats

Fluffy went over to talk to Bella, who had been taking tickets.

Fluffy: This is a disaster.

Bella: I’m afraid you’re right. One of the moms is threatening to sue over the yarn-ball pit.

Daphne and Miki walked up.

Daphne: Don’t worry. I took care of that. She was fine once her kitten stopped crying.

Miki: You’re still not going to make much. Once word got out about the snacks and ‘nip, cats decided they didn’t want to bother coming out.

Bella: What do we do now?

Fluffy: Let me think about it. Right now, we need to make sure everything is cleaned up. I don’t think I ever want to see this room again, but I don’t want them banning me either.

My cat sleeps constantly, when should I worry? | Memphis Emergency Vet

Fluffy went home and slept for a few hours. When she woke up, she had an idea that she chatted to her friends:

Image - 27970] | Itteh Bitteh Kitteh Committeh | Know Your Meme

Brainstorm! Remember that little screech owl who auditioned for us a while ago? She sang horribly, but was so sweet we wanted to help her somehow? I’m going to put on a talent show for the library. Maybe she can connect with someone who will help her. Round up everyone you know with an actual talent, and we’ll get things rolling.

KKPS: a talent show? - Lolcats - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny cat  pictures with words on them | funny pictures | lol cat memes | lol cats

Come back in a month for the talent show.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.