19

Are You a Bored Kitty? Try These

Bored Cat? What Cat Owners Need To Know (including 10 Actionable Tips) –  TheCatSite Articles

It’s that time of year. No more ribbons and paper to play with. Less sun to lie in (at least here in Michigan). Fewer human treats to snack on. Fewer channels on Cat TV. Even the mice sleep more. What’s a bored kitty supposed to do?

Paw Tapping ? | TheCatSite

Play the arm/face tapping game. Gently tap your human on the face/arm/leg until you get a response. (Pads only, no claws) Count the number of taps. Compare the numbers between when they are sleeping/napping, watching TV, eating, and playing with their computer (the screen with a keyboard that they sometimes talk at).

PsBattle: Cat Jumping at Flinching Dog | Cat vs dog, Animals, Dog cat

Sit on a perch and jump on the dog. Pick a perch only slightly higher than your target. You want to startle the dog, not scare/hurt it. Do not try this if the dog is smaller than you. If you try this trick on a fellow feline, the odds are much higher that you will cause a chase game.

Pin on Cats

Cry loudly and stare at the wall (or into space). Eventually your human will try to figure out what is going on. See whether the reaction is “there must be something in the wall,” “she must sense something,” or “all cats are crazy.”

The Best Cat Toothbrush (Review) in 2021 | Brushes for Cat Dental Health

Hide something you know the human will need shortly. Good candidates are keys, a shoe, an important paper, or some item of personal hygiene. Sit back and watch them go crazy. If they get too distressed, casually “find” the object for them. Do not try this option if your human is one of those who are always late. It could cause them too much stress. You want to have fun, not be mean.

Pin by I an on Lovely animals | Cats, Funny cute cats, Cat care

Cook with them. You can supervise, but it’s a lot more fun to actually help. After they get a spoon dirty, lick it clean so they can use it again. Push the ingredients they are finished with off the counter so they don’t put them in twice and ruin the meal.

Cat-Yoga - Crescent City Cat Club

Exercise with them. You can sit on them while they exercise, but that’s common. It’s a lot better to sit in front of them to offer inspiration. Cats excel at yoga and stretching exercises. Be sure to offer tips on flexibility. Try to imitate the funny faces they make. Yowling with laughter is also fun.

Don't worry about crypto woes! Here's a happy cat for you all to take your  mind off the crypto market :) : vergecurrency

These are our best tips. If you have other ideas, please be sure to offer them below. Before we know it, the birds will be back and we can return to our regular level of human interaction (alternating between extreme affection and totally ignoring them).

Lolcats - birds - LOL at Funny Cat Memes - Funny cat pictures with words on  them - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny cat pictures with words on

All pictures courtesy of Google Images.

 

24

Cat Forum: Interview with Twilight and Sushi


Greeting furry felines (and their non-furry companions). We have a special treat for you. We want to introduce you to two of our newest friends, Twilight and Sushi. They are the owners of the blog How to Train Your Humans. We’d like to nominate that for the best blog title ever! The blog is cat-tastic too, so head over to take a look.

The interview starts with an introduction, then moves on to questions.


 Twilight:  I’m Twilight, and I was born in the Can Opener’s back yard while Shrimp was still alive. 
For the first 6 months I was still feral- living in the back yard with the rest of the litter and my human was taking care of us. She looked after us and tried to keep us warm in the cold, wet, winters and cool and fed the rest of the time. 
When we were weaned from our Mother, she found homes for my 3 sisters – (one Siamese like me, but not as cute), and two solid black kitties)- but I had wandered off and couldn’t be found when the person came to take my sisters home. Shrimp had already been the established queen of the house, and she used to hiss at me when I came to the back door with my mom to eat. My human would gently tell her to leave us alone and she made sure Shrimp never got the pleasure of shredding me.  
My mom was still so feral, at that time, my human had to put food down and disappear before mom would go near the back door to eat- and if anyone was there she would watch warily from under a bush until the coast was clear.  The human had called a TNR cat rescue place and they trapped Mom and got her checked out by the vet, spayed, and gave her shots- and they tried for a month to find her a home. But Mom wouldn’t have it. So they brought her back to our yard and my human still takes care of her. Now, she will sit on the back porch, and let my human put a dish down in front of her (within inches of her) and then she eats and no longer runs away. But she still won’t come inside- even though its always wet and cold out.
But while we were still baby kittens nursing, when my mom would go hunting – the human used to pick me up and clean out my eyes because they were all icky- so I learned not to be afraid of her. So when my sisters were adopted and I was gone, I came back about a week later because there was a bad rainstorm and it was freezing outside and dark, and there had been inches of rain nonstop for those several days, I was so wet and cold and my fur was pink from the bloody flea bites. A neighbor saw me and brought me to the human, and she thanked him and brought me inside (Shrimp protesting constantly)- Shrimp was really mad at the human, but she told Shrimp she wasn’t going to put “this poor baby” back out in the rain and cold. Then she clipped my claws and bathed me in warm water with flea shampoo and rubbed me with coconut oil and declared me part of the family. I haven’t spent a night outside since. I instantly became spoiled and pampered even though Shrimp objected. 
Shrimp eventually got used to me (she was pampered too)- and we even got to be friends. But one morning Shrimp woke up and wouldn’t eat. And she wasn’t breathing right. We took her to the vet hospital, but there wasnt’ anything they could do to save her. Our human was heart broken- I’d never seen her cry before and I thought she’d never stop crying. I had to do something to help.  
So I put a call out on ‘Catbook’ to find another tortoiseshell kitty for my human. She had always said she loved Torties because of their cattitude and quirkiness, so I thought if I could find her another Tortie, it would be like giving her Shrimp back and then she’d stop crying.
Then I heard about Sushi so I made sure the human’s grown critters found out about her because I knew I’d need their help to bring her here.


Sushi: Hi! I’m Sushi! I’m so happy! I was once very happy as a kitten, but when I got older, my previous human didn’t want me anymore. She wanted to travel to far away places and I was often left alone for a really, really long time- or, left with people who didn’t really want me there and didn’t talk to me or play with me or cuddle me. I was the only kitty, so I didn’t even have sisters or brothers, or furry friends to keep me company. And, you know, you can only get so much entertainment out of a stuffed mouse and empty toilet paper roll, and bored spiders.
One day I heard my human talking with a family member and she was saying she didn’t want me anymore and was going to have me put down! I wanted to LIVE! I’m a good kitty, and I’m not sick or anything (but I am old)- I just wanted a place to feel loved and safe and wanted… 
And then the family member my previous owner had talked to decided she couldn’t just let me get put down. She took me to her house and tried her best for 8 months to find me a home. Nobody wanted to take me because I’m not a kitten- and I’m old. 
But right when I had lost all hope, the phone rang – and excitement rose in my cute little kitty heart as I heard the end of the conversation that said…”Oh! She WANTS HER? Great! I’ll get her and her things together and meet you after work!” The next thing I knew, I was being put in a carrier (which actually scared me a little)- and put in a car, and after a log trip, I heard a very friendly voice comforting me- it was the daughter of the woman who wanted to keep me! 
I only know her as “The Critters’ Mom” (that’s what Twilight calls her)- but Twilight had explained to me that she had heard about me and wanted me to meet her Can Opener so she set the whole thing up and then the Can Opener’s Grown Critter brought me to her house. Ever since I got here, I’ve been so happy and pampered! I’m not afraid and lonely any more!! And by the way, this November I turned 13 years old! 
Now I spend my nights cuddled up next to the Can Opener, all tucked in and warm instead of by myself. In the mornings, I’m the Can Opener’s lap kitty while she has her coffee and prays- then I play with Twilight and the little Critters until they go home and I’m brushed and pampered! 

Is there an alpha cat or are you guys more “Live and let live”?
Sushi: We both are typically very easy going cats. Twilight would rather play than fight, so she isn’t a challenger by any means. She just wants to get love and play. She’ll hide if she feels threatened. But since coming here, I’ve become an Alpha Cat! It has taken me 13 years to get this happy, and NOBODY is going to steal my human’s affection or take my place!

Sushi, does it bother you being named after a food?

Sushie No, it doesn’t make me nervous being named after food- I LOVE FOOD!!! (I’m 16.9 lbs of lovable cattitude).

Do you go outside or is it strictly Cat TV?
Twilight: Oh, no cat tv for me! I’d much rather be out hunting mice, chasing ducks and squirrels and fishing in the stream behind my house! I also love gardening in the neighborhood flower beds, annoying birds, and harraasing the psycho kitty next door.

Sushi: CAT TV, BABY! By the time the grand-critters go home, I’m all played out! (popcorn, please).


Have your humans been driving you nuts since the lockdown?

Sushi:  Are you kidding me? I’ve had so much cuddles and attention now, I’m going to hold them “Locked down” forever!

Twilight: Oh, my Can Opener’s cuddling gets a little annoying after 18 hours of following me around with a camera- but as long as she remembers how to open the cans and the back door, I’m good.

What is your favorite thing to do?

Twilight: Present the human with freshly caught mice. I just love her reaction- she loves it so much, she just can’t contain herself. Especially when I present them to her for breakfast in bed!

Sushi:  My favorite thing to do is cuddle in the human’s lap in the mornings when she has coffee and prays. It’s a pawsome way to fall asleep (my next favorite thing to do)!


Do you have any favorite Human food?

Twilight: Yes! I love REDI WHIP and egg, and salmon!

Sushi: Tuna!! and Chicken- and CHEESE!! 


How do you stay warm in the winter? 

Twilight:  Well, I got used to being cold when I was feral- I don’t like it, but I just go out and conquer the world anyway, then come inside and cuddle up on my bed (which is conveniently placed in a nook on the human’s desk right under the heater)!

Sushi: I go out and sit in the sunbeams until I use the neighbor’s fence post for a scratcher, then snack on a few bugs, then come in and snuggle up on the couch with the Can Opener. And if she tries to get up before I’m ready, I growl and hiss at her!


We heard you are related to Shrimp (of Hairball Express fame). Does it bug you that humans seem to find that important?

Twilight:  Oh no- not at all- Shrimp wasn’t happy when I first came along, but we (secretly) became friends. And now, it’s all about cute little ME -(Okay, Sushi too).

Sushi: Oh no, it doesn’t bother me. It’s very flattering to know that Twilight and the humans sought me out because I would be another kitty like her! She was the model of the purrfect Tortie- in fact, The Can Opener says since I’ve come here, it’s like Shrimp came back from Heaven- only now (she’s a “JUMBO SHRIMP!’ Mol! 


Is there anything else you’d like to say?

Twilight: Yes,would you open the door?

Sushi: Yes, I’m hungry. It’s been a whole 15 MINUTES since I ate!

Hope you enjoyed it.

Merry Christmas - Huntingdon Health and Rehabilitation Center


Editorial Note: Sincere apologies for being late. We had many technical difficulties with the several-month-old Chromebook. The last issue was with WordPress magically turning our classically edited post into a block edited post when we added the pictures. It looks OK at our end. Hopefully it gets to you in the same condition.

32

Technology: Cat Friend or Foe?

TCS Contact

Humans keep getting more and more electronic toys. A lot of them seem to be called “Get off of that” or “You can’t sit there.” They’re taking up more and more of our humans’ time. That’s a bad thing. They’ve even come up with what they call “cat apps” that are supposed to appeal to us. (We think it’s just to keep us occupied so they don’t have to play.)

We’ve come up with a list of questions that you can answer and show to your human.

Do you prefer old television sets or new ones?

10 Scene-Stealing Cats in Movies and TV (Photos)

There is no doubt that the old ones were far superior to lay on: large heated flat surfaces.

Videos for Cats: Tales from Cat TV - Cadry's Kitchen

But if you want to watch with a friends, today’s larger screens are a definite plus.

Would you rather lay on a book or a computer while your human is reading/using it?

Why I Haven't Read That Book Yet: Sleep | Cute animals, Crazy cats ...

Books are extremely comfy beds. If you can lay on it while it’s on your human’s lap, you can have comfort and cuddles.

Here's Why Your Laptop is So Irresistible to Your Cat | Reader's ...

But you can actually help your human on a computer.

Do you like live mice better than computer mice?

Funny Cats Chasing Mouse Compilation - YouTube

Live mice are fun to chase and play with.

Cute Cat having computer mouse in mouth ;) | Grappige dieren ...

Computer mice are easier to catch.

Do you prefer live Cat TV or computer Cat TV?

Create a Bird Watching Station For Cats - NWF | Ranger Rick

You never know what you’ll see on live Cat TV.

CAT COMPUTER GAMES - Cheezburger - Funny Memes | Funny Pictures

However, some games are only available on the computer.

Do you like old telephones better than smart phones?

Cat blamed for 999 prank call after police break down door to find ...

Old phones were better for napping.

Can Cats See Phone Screens? | Healthy Paws Pet Insurance

With a smart phone, you can screen your calls to avoid talking to that really annoying neighbor.

Do you prefer running for fun or for exercise?

Pros and Cons of the Outdoor Life for Cats | Perfect Fit™

You never know who you might find to play with outside.

Minimum Effort New Year's Resolutions - Campus Socialite

Treadmills make excellent beds. (And you can usually avoid being annoyed by your human there.)

Do you prefer games with your human or games with their computer?

Playing With Your Cat | International Cat Care

Your human will probably have more than one game to play. (But probably will quit before you are done.)

Is your cat fascinated with movement on your computer screen? Well ...

If you can get your human to buy you your own computer, you can play whatever you want, whenever you want.
It’s really up to you how much technology you let into your life. But whatever choice you make, be sure to include your human in the fun.
Lolcats - technology - LOL at Funny Cat Memes - Funny cat pictures ...
Thanks to Bored Panda for the inspiration.
Pictures courtesy of Google Images
14

Snoops and Kommando Kitty: Reality Check

Mom is always writing about how cats lead ultra-exciting lives – living with bears or saving human lives. We want to set the record straight. She has done absolutely nothing to make our lives that interesting.

Here is a summary of a typical day. (Mom works at night.)

These Pets Are Working As Alarm Clock - YouTube

9pm kicked out of bed by the alarm – it is loud.

9:35 after MAYBE receiving a few cuddles, Mom leaves us alone. (The young male human is in the house, but we almost never see him.)

Cute cats playing together public domain free photos for download ...

Chase each other around, get a snack of kibble and water, maybe play with some toys.

Go to sleep.

6am go on alert for Mom

I want someone to look at me the way these cats look at food ...

7:30 breakfast, litter box break

Sit with Mom while she eats and does computer stuff. Fight to get the closest seat.

9am go to bed with Mom

1pm Watch Cat TV

3pm cuddle with Mom, play games, maybe chase

Cat trying to sneak some chicken bird right off a plate. (With ...

5:30pm join humans for dinner, share if it’s something we like

6:30pm pre-work nap with Mom

REPEAT

don't look at me - Lolcats - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny ...

There is some variety:

  • Visit the inside porch
  • Hang out under the fan
  • Kibble and litter breaks
  • Bathing
  • Play.with the young male human
  • Chase mice or bugs
  • Other stuff we can’t remember

So my cat likes to look out the window. : aww

But Mom has never brought home a wild animal or taken us anyplace interesting. We think she makes all that stuff up.

All pictures not of us are courtesy of Google Images

11

Cat Forum: A Guide to Summer Cat TV

Snoops and Kommando here. Welcome to this month’s Cat Forum. (Yes, we have been pushed back a week because of the stupid bison story. Maybe the editors will learn to count by June. We are the second week feature, not the third week feature. How are our fans supposed to find us?)

Image result for couch potato meme

Oh, well. On to this month’s topic. We’re going to talk about summer Cat TV. Unlike humans, we never have to worry about seeing the same program twice. Just another sign of cat intellectual superiority. We don’t have to turn our brains off to watch the same stuff day after day. (We know some humans are like that because our Dad used to do it – watch the same stuff, not turn his brain off.)

We live in a house without air conditioning, so we are lucky enough to have sound. Some of you air conditioned cats aren’t so lucky. (Although you don’t have to deal with sticky humans, a definite plus.)

Image result for hummingbird

First are the birds.We live in Michigan, so we have more birds this time of year than when it’s cold. Some of you who live in warmer climates might not see much of a difference. Our favorites are the hummingbirds. They’re small and fast, so they’re a lot of fun to watch.

Image result for finches birds

Our human brother has a really big lilac bush just outside his bedroom window. It’s full of birds most of the time.All kinds of birds: sparrows, finches, wrens, robins, blue birds, blue jays, …. He complains about the noise waking him up. We’ve tried to tell him that they’re calling us, but he doesn’t seem to get it.

Image result for squirrels running around

The squirrel and deer channels get a lot more active too. The squirrels like to chase each other around. It looks like fun, but they get pretty mean sometimes when they fight. We’re glad they’re only on TV.

Image result for chipmunk running

Every once in a while, there’s a show on the squirrel channel that we really like. The little guys look a lot like squirrels, but much smaller with stripes down their backs. Mom says they’re called chipmunks. They look like they’d be fun to chase. But we don’t know what we’d do with it if we caught one. Mom says we can’t bring it in the house.

Image result for woodchuck in a tree

The funniest show is Woodchuck Adventures. Woodchucks (aka groundhogs) look like huge rodents. (Bigger than us.) They like to lay in the sun. They probably don’t have to worry about sunburn, because they’re really furry.. As soon as they hear a noise, they race for the nearest shelter. It’s great watching something that bulky and slow running that fast. It’s even better when they climb trees. One went up a baby peach tree and was too big to sit on the branches.

We get the boring specialty channels too. We don’t have many snakes in Michigan. The ones we do have just lay in the sun. If we want to watch someone sleep, we can watch Mom.

Image result for moths

(silk moth – we don’t have those on our channel)

The night channel is pretty boring too. We like to watch the fireflies. Mom says their tails are poisonous, so we cant play with them. Moths are the best. They’re fun to play with, and crunchy and tasty if they get annoying.

Image result for angry skunk

The worst show on that channel is the skunks. We were really disappointed. They’re kind of cute; they reminded us a little of cats. But they seem to fight dirty (and loud). When something scares them, they make a huge stink (for real). It smells awful. You air conditioned cats should be grateful. We hear some dogs try to make friends with them. Big mistake. Tell your dog friends if they upset a skunk, they’ll smell even worse than usual.

We recommend you check your local channels. Chances are, there’s something good out there that you haven’t seen for a while.

All pictures courtesy of Google Images.

18

Cat TV – Part 2

Image result for cats and tv

So far – Josie and Kenny’s TV have gone out, and the technician won’t be available for at least three days. They are devastated, but Mom and Dad aren’t very sympathetic.

Josie: Mooom, I’m bored.

Mom: Did you do your homework?

Josie: Yes. Now I’m bored.

Image result for cats and book

Mom: Read a book.

Josie: I don’t have any.

Mom: Go to the library.

Josie: Yuck! What if someone sees me?

Mom: What if they do?

Josie (sighing): Mom, you’re impossible.

Image result for cats cleaning

Kenny: I’m bored.

Mom: I don’t suppose you have anything else to do either.

Kenny: Nope.

Mom: Then clean your rooms.

They look at her and roll their eyes. She doesn’t move. They stomp off to their rooms. At dinner:

Dad: You two look gloomy. Did you have a bad day?

Image result for cats cleaning

Kenny: We didn’t have anything to do, so Mom made us clean our rooms.

Dad: Oh, that is a crisis.

Kenny and Josie glare at him.

Mom: Well, tomorrow you can go visit Grandma. I’m sure she has something for you to do.

Josie: It has to be better than today.

The next day, they walk over to Grandma’s house. She’s outside getting ready to pounce on something. Josie and Kenny run up to her.

Image result for cats pouncing

Josie: Hi Grandma! Mom sent us over here because we’re bored. Do you have a TV we can watch?

Grandma: Goodness, no. What a waste of time. Wouldn’t you two rather run around the yard?

Josie: No TV?

Grandma: Josie, we’re cats. Cats don’t watch TV.

Josie: All of our friends do.

Grandma: When did you pick up that nasty human habit? Doesn’t it interfere with your running around and climbing things?

Kenny: Why would we do that?

Grandma: That’s what real cats do.

Image result for cats pouncing

Josie: Next thing you know, she going to tell us we should be out chasing mice and pouncing on bugs.

Grandma: Exactly! Those are excellent cat skills. Look over there; the bush is moving. Let’s see who can pounce the fastest.

The kittens thought it was silly, but since it was Grandma they played along. To their surprise, she was faster by far. She jumped at the bush, but the bird got away.

Kenny: Wow, Grandma! You can run a lot faster than we can.

Grandma: That’s because I’ve been running since I was a kitten. Now, see if you can catch me.

Image result for cats in tree

Grandma took off with Kenny close behind. She got to the maple tree and ran up the side to the first branch. Kenny stood under her.

Kenny: No fair! How can I catch you up there?

Grandma: The same way I got here. Climb the tree.

Kenny: How do I get down.?

Grandma: It isn’t very high. Jump off.

Kenny: Wow! This is fun. Can you show us how to do all this old-fashioned stuff?

Image result for kittens playing

They had so much fun that it was time to go home before they realized it.

Josie: Thank you, Grandma. That was great.

Grandma: I had a lot of fun too. But if you’re going to watch TV, watch Cat TV. That human stuff will rot your mind.

Josie: What’s Cat TV?

Grandma: If you have to be inside, watch what’s out the window. You’ll see all kinds of interesting things. You can practice your running and pouncing in your head.

Image result for kittens running

Josie and Kenny ran home for dinner.

Dad: Did you have fun at Grandma’s?

Kenny: It was pawsome! She taught us all the things she learned when she was a kitten. We ran around and tried to kill bugs and climbed trees.

Dad: That does sound like fun. You should be happy. The TV technician comes tomorrow. You should have TV by nighttime.

Kenny: That’s OK. We’re going to watch Cat TV instead.

Josie nodded. Their parents were astounded.

Image result for cats looking out windows

All pictures courtesy of Google Images

 

 

 

21

Cat Forum: Interview with Blondie’s Cats

 

Snoops and Kommando here. Welcome to another edition of Cat Forum. A few of you might remember that we have two human siblings, one female and one male. The female moved out a couple of years ago, and we don’t see much of her. But she has the good sense to be living with several cats (as well as the additional humans required to serve the cats). We wanted to talk to our new-found nieces and nephews. None of them complained about her, so she must be doing OK.

Maya

Tell us a little bit about yourselves.

Angel: I’m Angel. I happen to be an adorable muted calico with tons of energy and a huge appetite. I love playing with both humans and other cats, but no one seems to appreciate my creativity or fun.

Spaz: I’m Spaz. Everyone says I’m spoiled, but I’m a diva, so no less is acceptable. Also, isn’t being spoiled part of being a diva?

Maya: I’m Maya, a very sweet but shy plus sized cat. My favorite motto is “if I fits I sits”. I’m very dark, so I hide unintentionally quite often.

Onyx: I’m Onyx. I’m a jet black cat, but I bring no bad luck. I’m verrrrrrryyyyyyyy sweet and cuddly, and my appetite is as big as my heart and love of cuddles.

Patches: I’m Patches. I’m a very vocal and social kitty with a slight fur loss problem. But my lack of fur makes me just that much more lovable.

Patches

How well do you all get along?

Angel: I think my playmates and I get along quite well. They always run when I play chase, and Onyx loves to wrestle! The hissing and growling emitted by Maya and Patches must come from the frustration of being older and not as fast And flexible as I am.

Spaz: These young cats are loud and irritating. Also, they seem to think my food dish is a public buffet.

Maya: Everyone but that Angel cat is okay. Angel is a tad too rough for my taste.

Onyx: I’m a fairly docile cat, so I get along with everyone until someone *cough cough Angel* gets too rough or growls at me first.

Patches: The other cats are okay. I’m not a fan of too much action, so I try to avoid them at times.

Onyx

We hear that you live with a lot of humans. Do you get enough space to do cat things like sleeping in sun puddles and watching cat TV through the windows?

Angel: Luckily the blonde girl likes blankets and soft stuffed animals, so there’s plenty of nap spots. Sadly, there is limited access to windows, though I can always climb the curtains and watch special episodes of cat TV.

Spaz: Yes, I get to spend most of my day lounging. In between attention time and meals, of course.

Maya:I have a table that is right under a window, so I get a decent amount of time  doing cat activities.

Onyx: When I’m alone I do. However, when other cats or people are around, I prefer their company to lounging.

Patches: I certainly do. My favorite spot is on the kitchen table, where the sun shines directly.

Angel

Do you have a favorite human or do you think they’re all annoying?

Angel: My buddy is Ryan, AKA the big gamer dude, although Blondie “Victoria” is tolerable. But the other two fight a lot, and lock me out of their room at night, so nip to them.

Spaz: My human is Ryan. Everyone else is good for pets, dish refills, and nothing else.

Maya: Melissa is my human, and by extension, that means I’m stuck with Jeremy as well.

Onyx: Victoria is my primary human- she makes the best piece of human furniture. The others are okay, but I don’t want to share my human, so that rules them out.

Patches: Jeremy is cool. He remembers to feed me at night, at the very least.

What do you like to do with your human? Do you get enough time doing it?

Angel: I love to climb him, and we play hide and seek a lot. He also likes to play chase me away from the wire toys his TV offers. Aside from that, his lap is pretty comfortable. I don’t think we do it enough, but he insists two or three hours is enough with his work and family schedule.

Spaz: I like to watch YouTube videos with him, and receive cuddles. Also, lately, I’ve enjoyed seeing how loud I have to meow before he replies.

Maya: I like to see how long they can hold their breath by sticking my tail and/or butt on their faces. Also, I like rearranging their room under Jeremy’s supervision. I don’t get to do it as much as I sleep, though.

Onyx: I like to train her on dish refilling times and different types of cat cusines, especially those from a trash can. I also love cuddling and riding on her shoulders. Sadly, she has to spend eight hours at “work” to keep me in kibble. Aside from that, I’m usually around her.

Patches: I like to bowl with objects on the kitchen table. I’ll knock them over, wait for him to fetch them, then knock them over again. We do this every night!

What’s your favorite game/toy?

Angel: I have a little blue Mousie I found in Spaz’s cache that I love, and I also have a squeaky mouse that keeps Ryan up at night. Also, the humans brought home pizza one night, and there was a really neat white triangle in the box that I adore.

Spaz: I have a boa toy Ryan and I play with that I love.

Maya: I like wires and balls with bells.

Onyx: I like climbing, And I’m a fan of string.

Patches: Aside from bowling, I like those plastic bags Walmart has.

Spaz

Do you have a pet peeve/something that really annoys you?

Angel: I’m not a fan of being told no. Also, when I’m roughhousing with Onyx, Blondie doesn’t need to intervene. Onyx likes being choked.

Spaz: I hate sharing. My food, toys, water, litter and human are MINE!

Maya: No one shall pick me up, unless they’re looking to donate to the Maya blood bank.

Onyx: I don’t like being woken up. Also, once I claim an area, it’s quite rude to try and move me.

Patches: I don’t like being forced to move. My comfort obviously exceeds a human need.

Any nip-heads in the house?

Angel: Unless nip is synonymous with mashed potatoes or bacon, not me!

Spaz: I’m a sucker for Temptation treats, but not nip by itself.

Maya: Not me, that’s for sure. I’m about as picky as they come.

Onyx: Nip is okay. I’d rather have a cookie or cupcake.

Patches: Not that I’m aware of. Although I’ll eat anything, so I’m not a good one to ask.

Does anyone like human TV, computers, phones or some other “human” gadget?

Angel: I like the wires that come with them. The TV wires and phone chargers are the best.

Spaz: I like the phone, since it plays my YouTube videos.

Maya: Not me, because that takes attention away from me!

Onyx: I like sitting on the phone when it’s warmed up from being used. Same with the computer. Also, I like watching Ryan play his video games.

Patches: Nah, they make too much noise.

Anything you’d like to add?

Angel: I really wish humans could interpret our meows properly. A low grumbling mewl does not mean pick me up and coo “awe, such a sweet kitty”! Also, human legs make the best scratching post- and their socks are awesome toys.

Spaz: Always respect the calicos- we’re the most beautiful and the smartest.

Maya: Plus sized kitties are just as lovable as little kittens. Also, don’t mock your cat if she’s skittish- Skittles is not a feline approved nickname.

Onyx: Black cats are not bad luck! I’m sure a of the black cats out there with a bad rep were just upset from having to wait for a food dish refill or something equally as awful.

Patches: I don’t understand why humans leave breakable glasses on my bowling field if they want them kept whole. I know the glass would look better shattered. Also, why can’t I eat plastic bags? It’s good enough to hold my food, but not to eat? Weird.

  

22

Cats Tell (Some) Secrets

Snoops and Kommando Kitty here. We thought that we would help you humans understand a little more about us cats. So we decided to try to answer some common questions.

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Why do cats spend so much time sleeping in the sun? 

Some of sleep in the sun because it feels so nice on our fur. It’s also nice and warm on cool days. Other cats are partly solar-powered. You can tell who these cats are by their behavior after dark. Regular kitties want to play with their humans before bed then sleep at the same time (more or less). Solar-powered kitties will play a little before bed. But when the lights go out, they turn on the stored solar energy. They race around the house, play with their loudest toys, and try to wake up their humans to play some more. If the humans lock the door, they will stand outside and cry or bang at the door.

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Can cats really use computers?

That’s an interesting question. We don’t like to type. The claws get in the way and our paws are really too wide to be effective. However, we can use Internet sites. For example, if the human has an Amazon account we can watch them sign in and type enough to copy it. As long as there’s a credit card and address registered, all is good. We cannot use Alexa. She’s pretty smart. She knows we’re cats, and cats can’t get credit cards.

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Do cats watch TV?

Occasionally there’s a show about cats or birds that’s interesting. And some of us like sports (the faster ones; cats don’t follow golf). But for the most part humans watch junk about other humans. Humans talk a LOT on TV. If we want to listen to humans talk, we have our own.

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What do cats like to talk about to each other?

That depends on the cat. Some (like Kommando) talk more than others. Generally speaking we talk about why the humans won’t fix the weather so it’s not so cold or hot or wet or snowy. Are there any good clothes around to lay on or paw through? Is there anything good to eat?  Did the humans forget to put anything away that we like to play with or eat? We complain about clumsy humans who trip on us. What’s on Cat TV? Should we tell the humans that they smell weird?

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How do cats feel about sharing the house with other animals (besides the humans)?

It depends on the cat and the other animal. For example, our housemate Horatio Hedgehog isn’t a problem. He has a cage and is pretty quiet. He’s nocturnal, so we don’t hear too much from him. Some sort of small rodent would be acceptable. It’s always fun looking at prey. Same for fish or small reptiles. Another cat or a dog would be totally unacceptable. Three humans and two cats live here. That’s a spare human in case we need him. Other cats prefer to be alone with their human. And some cats are really outgoing and say the more the merrier. We don’t really understand those cats, so we can’t comment.

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Why do some cats like to go out and others don’t?

Most of us like the occasional look outside. Some cats are naturally timid or have had bad experiences and are more than happy to stay inside. Some have complete access to nature and are happy roaming and coming home for dinner and bed. Personally, we don’t want to be snacks for the coyotes or hawks and are happy inside. It all depends on the cat’s personality and how unpleasant it is to be with their human all day, every day.

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Why do cats act so superior?

Because we’re beautiful and smart and don’t ask dumb questions.

That’s all we have time for today. We hope we’ve helped your understanding of cats. If you have other questions you’d like answered in the future, just send them in.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

18

Cat Forum: Interview with Twilight

Snoops and Kommando Kitty here. Today we are very pleased to be talking with Twitchy Twilight, star of the popular Cattitude Chronicles. Read on to see what makes her so special.

Please tell us something about yourself.

Well, I was born in this nice human’s backyard a couple of summers ago, and there were 3 other katlings (kat version of siblings) with me.

The human found homes for the other 3, but she couldn’t find me because I love to explore so I had “vanished”- So she thought someone had found me and took me home until one day when a really bad rain and wind storm hit and I was wet and cold and hungry so I came back to the yard I was born in – and the human who lived there saw me all wet, cold and hungry and infested with fleas and she took me in right away and cleaned me up and I immediately fell in love and claimed her and human #2 as my own!

How did you get the name “Twitchy Twilight”?

The human started calling me Twitchy, because I’m ALWAYS frisky and ready to play, and at the slightest little movement, I may be purrfectly still, and my eyes laser focused – but my tail immediately begins twitching and Twitches with every slight movement I see and then I POUNCE when they least expect it!

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We know you thought you had some big paws to follow after Shrimp went over the Rainbow Bridge. It looks like you’ve adapted pretty well. What do you think?

Well, my humans were so crazy about Shrimp, and so broken hearted when she died, that I knew I’d have my paws full.

I knew one of the things they loved about her was all that cattitude, and I tried my best to develop cattitude of my own – but it just wasn’t me. So I decided to take my chances (in spite of Shrimp’s teaching)- and just be my adorable, sweet self.

And I’m glad I did – because what my humans needed most wasn’t cattitude – but cuddles! And now I’m their little purrincess!

Who do you live with? 

My human and her husband – he doesn’t play with me much, but he’s very in love with me!

Do you have a favorite thing to do with your humans?

Oh yes! I love to eat popcorn with my human when she watches movies -(“Hubster” doesn’t like popcorn, and I’m not allowed to eat his hot and spicy Cheetos)!

I also love to paw at my human from on top the kat tree every morning when she brews her coffee (it’s right next to the Keurig), and she spends the first part of her morning playing with me!

And I also like to help her with her morning workouts – (I’m the “weights” she uses)!

Do you get to go outside?

Only for a little bit in the morning before my human leaves – and a little bit in the evening – but I’m always home by curfew – and when the weather is bad, she won’t let me out at all – she tells me, “I didn’t adopt you so you could still be cold and eaten up with fleas like a stray!”

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How’s the cat TV (watching out the window) there?

Oh my KATS! It’s the BEST! There are squirrels, baby birds, hummingbirds (in the spring), ducks and even RACOONS- (but they’re bigger than me)!

Do you have a special thing you like to do when there are no humans around?

Yes – I like to try to sneak my friends inside for a box party – but she caught me the last couple of times!

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What’s your favorite treat?

Redi Whip!!!

Is there anything you’d like to add?

Yes – I’d like to tell people not to be afraid to adopt “feral kats”- I was feral for almost the first year of my life – but now I know what it’s like to be pampered, warm and treasured- and I’m thankful someone took a chance for me!

15

Snoops and Kommando: On the Prowl

Kommando: Hi everyone! We’ve been so busy interviewing other cats that we forgot our most interesting subjects.

Snoops: Who’s that?

Kommando: Us, silly!

Snoops: Things have been a little interesting recently.

Kommando: We got two new channels of cat TV. It’s pretty pawsome. They’re on the second floor.

Snoops: You may remember that we had four humans – two male and two female. Now we’re down to three.

Kommando: The younger female moved out. She brought home a strange male human one time. It was awful. He smelled worse that Horatio Hedgehog.

Horatio: Hey! I’m right here, you know.

Snoops: She didn’t mean it. You know we love you.

Horatio: Cats!

(He huffs and goes back to sleep.)

Kommando: Anyway her room is on the second floor and has views from two directions. One is even a new direction!

Snoops: It’s true. But it’s probably the most boring. There aren’t any trees that way.

Kommando: That’s true. But still, she was hiding it from us.

Snoops: True enough. It was so messy that it was hard to get over there.

Kommando: It hurt my delicate little paws to walk on it.

Snoops: Whatever you say, Kommando. Let’s move on to the pawsome TV show we found on human TV.

Kommando: That’s right; I almost forgot. It’s called “My Cat from Hell.”  Every time we see it, there are cats just being cats. You know, racing around and getting into stuff.

Snoops: Well, some of the cats are a little obnoxious. There seem to be awful lot of them who bite their humans. We don’t approve of that at all.

Snoops: She right. The pawsome part is that the human who runs the show, Jackson Galaxy, always blames everything on the humans! All the “bad” stuff that the cats do is because of something the humans do. Even scratching the drapes and pooping outside the litter box.

Kommando: Yep. They get homework and everything. And the humans work really hard to get their cats back to our usually sweet selves.

Snoops: He always says that there are no bad cats. We already knew that, but it’s really cool to hear a human admit it.

Kommando: Every week, the humans have done what they need to, and the cats have become snuggly like the rest of us.

Snoops: Life has been good.

Kommando: Well except recently. We got abandoned again.

Snoops: Oh yeah. Last night.

Kommando: Mom has been home with us 24/7 for the last few weeks. She had the other tunnel opened, on her left wrist. That’s two, so I think she’s done.

Snoops: It’s too bad. For the first couple of weeks, she wasn’t supposed to lift much of anything. And after that she had a weight restriction.

Kommando: It was great. Naps and snuggles and cuddles…

Snoops: It’s a good thing that she went back though. We used our last can of food the day before she went back. And she gets our food where she works.

Kommando: Oh, right. That would have been bad.

Snoops: At least she works nights. So we have someone here to wait on us all the time.

Kommando: And Dad had that flu thing a couple of weeks ago. He wasn’t much fun, but he was good to sleep on.

Snoops: And they get different days off, so they’re both here together.

Kommando: All right. I guess life is pretty good.

Snoops: And it would be perfect if we could get rid of all the noisy machines…