Tag Archives: raccoons

27

The Summer Was a Zoo

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How to Train a Siamese Cat (4 Easy Steps) | Hepper Pet Resources

Ms Cavendish, an elegant Siamese, was the new primary-level teacher at the Cheeseland Academy of Inter-Species Learning. It’s the first day back after summer break.

Ms Cavendish: Welcome everyone to our first day of school. My name is Ms. Cavendish, and I’ll be your teacher this year. I thought that a good way to introduce ourselves would be to go around the room and tell everyone one thing that you did this summer. Would anyone like to start?

Video: Who Wins This Battle Of Cat Vs. Squirrel? | PawTracks

Sally Squirrel: Ooh, me! My brother Hal got into a fight with the cat next door. There was so much hissing and chittering that my mom had to throw water on them to break it up.

Ms Cavendish: Oh my! Is everyone okay?

Sally: Yes. But my mom said that they aren’t allowed to play in the bird bath anymore.

Running the Raccoons at Critter Care Wildlife Society - YouTube

Ralph Raccoon: We went on a trip to the mountains to visit some relatives this summer.

Ms. Cavendish: Oh, that sounds lovely.

Ralph: We had a great time. And I learned something new.

Ms Cavendish: What did you learn?

Ralph: That humans are really weird. Some of them think that we are adorable and others think that we are full of diseases. One lady saw me and my sister playing chase, running after each other. She started yelling at someone to get a gun because we had to be diseased to be running around like that.

Adorable raccoon eats a marshmallow

Ms Cavendish: That must have been terrifying. What happened?

Ralph: Another lady came out, but she didn’t have a gun. She said, “Myrtle, you’re crazy. Can’t you see that they’re little raccoons having fun?” Then she made the other lady go inside.

Ralph: It turned out really well. The humans had a bonfire later, and we went back to thank the nice lady. She gave each of us something called a s’more. It’s 2 graham crackers with melted marshmallow and chocolate between them.They were really yummy.

Su Pallosu's cat beach is taking Sardinian tourism by storm - Traveling Cats

Tommy Tabby: Me next. We went to the beach.

Ms Cavendish: That’s an interesting choice for a cat family. Do you all like water?

Tommy: Not at all. I mean it’s great to drink, but don’t make me walk or play in it. My mom’s the same way.

Su Pallosu's cat beach is taking Sardinian tourism by storm - Traveling Cats

Ms Cavendish: So who planned the trip?

Tommy: My dad did. He says he didn’t notice all of the water. He wanted to go for the sun and sand. That part was really nice. But my little brother didn’t understand that it wasn’t an open-air litter box. We almost got kicked out when another guest saw him doing his thing. Mom was so embarrassed. She says we’re never going back.

Ms Cavendish: I can definitely see why she would be a little uncomfortable. Who’s next?

Labrador Retriever Group | Facebook

Lily Lab: We went to a family reunion in a place called Woofington.

Ms Cavendish: That sounds like a dog-friendly place.

Lily: We thought so too. But maybe a little too dog-friendly. My aunt had reserved a place in one of their parks for all of us. She was expecting 20-25 dogs. But the park is big, and it seemed like every Yellow Labrador family in the state was in Woofington. There were also lots of Chocolate Labs and Golden Retrievers.

Ms. Cavendish: That sounds like a lot of dogs.

Tibetan Mastiff Owner's Guide | Greencross Vets

Lily: My mom said that she had never seen so many dogs. We followed the directions to our site. She found her sister pretty fast. My aunt was really upset. Some other family had taken over the site.

Ms Cavendish: That’s awful. What happened?

Lily: Not long after we got there, Mom’s other sister arrived with her family, Aunt Shelly’s married to Steffo. He’s a Tibetan Master. He’s really sweet and wouldn’t hurt a fly. But he’s huge and very protective of his family. He went to the alpha of the other family and suggested that they had made a mistake. They were really good about moving on.

_MG_1231 | A young grizzly bear and a coyote having a conver… | Flickr

Ms Cavendish: This is all very interesting. Anyone else want to share?

Kyle Coyote: We got kicked out of a national park. I don’t want to say which one because they might be looking for us.

Ms Cavendish: Oh my goodness! What happened?

Kyle: My family went to this park and wanted to camp. Did you know that some of those places are run by humans? We thought bears ran them all. Bears are cool to coyotes; humans are not.

What's All the Ruckus? Coyote Howling at Night.

Ms Cavendish: And the one you went to was run by humans?

Kyle: Yeah. Mom and Dad got into a huge fight when they found out. Mom won, so we decided to stay. But the guy at the entrance was kinda a jerk. He read all of the rules to us like we were too stupid to do it ourselves. We finally set up camp and ate. We were relaxing at night when we heard the call of the wild. Of course we had to respond. Several other coyotes joined in.

Ms Cavendish: That sounds wonderful.

Kyle: It was. Until the humans showed up and told us we were breaking the rules by making noise after 9 pm. He got into a fight with my dad who scented him. Then we got kicked out.

My favorite animal in i party hat, how cute!!

Ms Cavendish: This has all been a lot of fun. I’m sorry but we’re out of time. Any last thoughts?

Voice at the Back: Party with animals, not with humans.

Pets In School

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

23

Do They Sell Fleas at a Flea Market? Part 2

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Sgt Stripes here. After much discussion, the Communications Team agreed that it was a bad idea to have a flea market in Cheeseland. While the name doesn’t really mean that fleas are involved in the human market, there is a much higher possibility that actual fleas would make an appearance at an animal flea market. So we took another idea from the humans and rebranded it.

How Cats Show Affection Through Their Tails - Cat Explore

So I am here at the 2025 Cheeseland Rummage Sale. Thomas Tabby is here to listen to his constituents. We are going to give you a tour of what is going on.

Sgt Stripes Here’s a familiar face. We didn’t expect to find you here, Gypsy.

Gypsy: What can I say? I though Rummage Sale meant we got to rummage around looking for something that catches our eye.

Sgt Stripes: That’s pretty much the idea. And what cat doesn’t love a good rummage?

Gypsy: You better tell the guy with the meat pies. How was I supposed to know which one I wanted to buy without tasting them? He made me buy the first one I tried. And it was some kind of bird. Yuck! I hate poultry. I thought they’d be, you know meat.

North American raccoon | San Diego Zoo Wildlife Explorers

Sgt Stripes: I see your point about the poultry vs meat. But once you’ve tasted something, they can’t sell it.

Gypsy: Whatever. I hope they have samples at the treats table.

Sgt Stripes walks up to a raccoon family.

Sgt Stripes: How are you enjoying the sale?

Raccoon looking in mirror

Mama Raccoon: We love it. There is so much stuff to paw through. And whoever thought of the fun house for the kids is a genius. Who doesn’t love funny mirrors and tilted floors?

Papa Raccoon: They might want to rethink the balloons though. A lot of the kids are just learning to control their claws. A few of the more timid ones were frightened by all of the popping.

Thomas Tabby: Thank you for sharing. That’s just the type of feedback we’re looking for.

How To Care for Your Pet Rat | PetMD

Sgt Stripes and Thomas Tabby are pleased to see a large crowd of animals. And a lot of the tables were doing a good business. They walk up to a crowded table and find a large, cheerful rat behind it.

Thomas Tabby: You have an interesting assortment of merchandise.

Rat: You may have heard of a rat’s nest being a jumble of things. When my grandfather went over the Rainbow Bridge, he had been working on it for years. And he collected a lot of stuff. This sale is perfect.

Arizona Pack Rats | Atomic Pest Control

Thomas Tabby: Your grandfather would have been pleased to know so many folks will be enjoying his things.

Rat: You’re right. He was a great guy.

Sgt Stripes: Sorry for your loss.

The two tabbies continue around the park. There are all types of things to buy. A beaver was selling wooden toys he had made.

Here are 2 photos of a beaver chewing the bark and cambium off of a branch. Beavers eat tree product, but don't eat the wood itself. They will eat the twigs, leaves,

Sgt Stripes: These are great! If Mom didn’t have a rule against bringing more stuff into the house, I would definitely get something for the small humans.

Beaver: Thank you! I hadn’t really thought about small humans. I was looking more at the puppy/rabbit market. But that is a excellent idea!

They heard a splash and a lot of laughter.

Sgt Stripes: What was that?

Otter Contemplates a Swim in the Puppy Pool — The Daily Otter

Beaver: That’s the Otter Brothers Dunk an Otter game.It is extremely popular. Anyone who buys a piece of their grasshopper cheesecake gets a chance to spin a wheel to dump one of the otters into a vat of water.

Thomas Tabby: We should go over and take a look.

Sgt Stripes: You go right ahead. I do not like water in my fur.

Beaver: They don’t dunk you. It’s one of the otters.

Why Do Cats Hate Water? 5 Reasons & Tips for Bath Time

Nothing would convince Sgt Stripes to go near the water. He got a salmon smoothie and waited on a bench. Finally, Thomas returned. looking a little soggy.

Thomas Tabby: It looks like you were right, Stripes. They aren’t using a water tank; They are using a tub. Every time the otter goes into the tub, it splashes everyone.

Sgt Stripes: I knew it wasn’t a good idea. Where do you want to go next?

Thomas Tabby: There’s something called The Field of Dreams over by the pavilion. It’s a fundraiser for the Cheeseland Hospital.

Sgt Stripes: That sounds interesting. Let’s go!

The Peruvian Llama - Lima Spanish House

The field was very crowded. They finally got to the pavilion. There was a llama directing some other animals.

Sgt Stripes: This looks exciting. What’s going on, and who is in charge. Is it you?

Llama (laughing): No, I’m part of security. You want JJ Gorilla. He’s the brains behind it.

Sgt Stripes: Mr Gorilla, this looks very interesting. Can you explain what is going on?

Gorilla: Please call me JJ. With all of the budget cuts we’ve been going through, the hospital needed to raise some money. A treasure hunt game sounded like a different, fun way to do it.

😻Cats at the Spa😻 - Funny Cats Doing Human Things

Sgt Stripes: Can you explain how it works?

JJ: We got animals to donate some really nice prizes. We have a heated cat condo, and all-you-can eat dinner for six at Freddy’s Fish Factory, and a custom burrow for winter, and a couple’s spa day at Ruth’s Premier Salon and Day Spa. All told, we have ten excellent prizes.

Sgt Stripes: That does sound nice.  Did everyone here have to buy a ticket? How do you decide who wins?

Differences between cats and dogs: Cats Are Not Small Dogs

JJ: Most of them bought a ticket.They were given an envelope. Ten envelopes had a gold printed map, and the rest had a black printed map. The gold maps each lead to one of the prizes. The black maps lead to a bag of treats.

Sgt Stripes: Why are there so many animals here?

JJ: A lot of the animals who got treat bags are trying to help the lucky winners find their prize. The gold maps are very tricky.

Thomas Tabby: It looks like some of them have family and friends helping too.

How often do you find yourself talking to your pets?

JJ: That’s true. Since each map leads to a different prize, there’s no reason to fight.

Sgt Stripes  and Thomas Tabby returned to the main selling area. There were animals everywhere

Thomas Tabby: This didn’t turn out the way I expected it would. I thought it would be just animals bringing in old stuff.

Sgt Stripes: That’s true. But this is so much better.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

12

The Bears Flying Adventure – Part 2

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Summer Wildlife Series: Bears - Gray Line Alaska

Dave and Dottie Bear are trying to fly with their two cubs to Yellowstone Park on a human-run airline. Things were going fairly well until they got to security and realized they had no identification. You can read Part 1 here.

The bears are standing in front of a sign telling them that they must have government-issued identification before they can get on the airplane. 

Myth: When Bears Lose Their Fear of People, They Become More Likely to Attack - North American Bear Center

Dottie: Didn’t they tell you on the phone that we would need identification?

Dave: I don’t think so. Most of the conversation was about whether or not we would eat the other passengers.

Ethan: That’s dumb. We don’t eat people.

Most of the black bear's natural diet consists of berries, nuts, roots, and insects. To gain enough weight for winter dormancy, black bears have to consume about 20,000 calories a day! It's

Edgar: Yeah. My favorite food is blueberries.

Ethan: And raspberries.

Edgar: And honey.

Ethan: Mom, can I have a snack? I’m getting hungry.

Dottie: Not now. We have to figure out how to get through Security.

Bear photo a reminder for Tri-Cities to be aware of all surroundings - Tri-City News

Employee: You have to move along folks. You’re holding up the line.

Dave looked around and there was a small crowd behind them.

Dave: Why didn’t they just ask?

Employee (whispering): You’re a bunch of bears. They don’t want your wife going all “Mama Grizzly” on them.

Paige 🗻 Alaska Adventures | Mama bears are on guard 24/7 trying to protect their cubs. It was crazy to see how tirelessly they work to be aware of their surroundings.... | Instagram

Dottie: What’s “Mama Grizzly”?

Employee: You know. Chasing them down so they don’t hurt your cubs.

Dottie (to Dave): I knew we shouldn’t have gotten mixed up with humans. They’re all crazy.

Dave: Sir, I can assure you that no one has better manners than my wife. The humans could have asked politely, and we would have let them past.

Everything You Need to Know About Bears in the Smoky Mountains | Gatlinburg Cabins | Gatlinburg Cabin Rentals | Chalet Village

Employee: Please just move along and keep the line flowing.

Dave: But we don’t . . .

Employee: Just move along.

The bears move along as they were directed. They notice that the line is rather long but seems to be moving well. Before long, they are in front of a desk.

Brown Alaskan Bear standing up - Picture of Alaska Homestead Lodge, Lake Clark National Park and Preserve - Tripadvisor

Security Agent: Please show me your boarding passes and identification.

Dave: Here are the boarding passes.

Security Agent: Thank you. Now I need to see identification for you and the lady.

Dave: We’re bears. We don’t have identification.

How to Answer This Trick Interview Question - Business Insider

Security Agent: You can’t get on the plane until I see your identification.

Dottie: I have school IDs for the boys. Will that work?

Security Agent: I don’t need identification for them. I need it for you.

Dave: No one told us we needed identification. We just get on the trains and buses.

Security Agent: We have different rules here. Sometimes people try to blow up planes.

Listen to 911 Call About Bear Cub

Dottie: I don’t want to get on a plane if someone is going to blow it up.

Security Agent: We’re trying to keep the planes from blowing up. Please step aside.

The bears move to the side while the agent talks to someone on the phone. Shortly another human appears and tells them to follow him. Dottie and the boys look terrified. Dave is getting angry. They are shown to a small room.

Tourist suggests Yellowstone National Park train bears for better viewing - Cottage Life

Human: My name is Sgt Stryker. What seems to be the problem?

Dave: We’re trying to get to Yellowstone to see my Aunt Edna. She’s never seen the boys.

Dottie: I wanted to take the train, but the boys really wanted to fly. This was the only airline we could afford.

Dave: Nobody told us we would need official identification to get on the plane.

Sgt Stryker: That is the federal regulation.

Vince Shute Wildlife Sanctuary (2025) - All You Need to Know BEFORE You Go (with Reviews)

Dave: What do other animals use?

Sgt Stryker: I’m not really sure. To be honest, you’re the first animals I’ve seen in Security. Let me make a call.

Dave and Dottie wait, trying not to let the boys see that they are scared too.

Sgt Stryker: Good news. I understand what went wrong. They sent you through the human line. You were supposed to go through the non-human security line. Let me take you where you need to be.

Dave: Thank you. That would be very helpful.

Honestly, it was pretty challenging working with a talking raccoon. 🙃🙃

They follow Sgt Stryker outside to a different building. They are relieved to see the badgers and raccoons again.

Rex Raccoon: We are really glad to see you. We thought maybe you got kicked off.

Dave: No. They sent us to the human line.

Molly Raccoon: The human line? That’s awful. They think that everyone might blow up the plane.

Wally Badger: They’re much more civilized on this side. And wait until you see the great section they have for us. Lots of space and plenty of snacks.

Pin by Olga Glazova on OG BEAR | Bear cubs, Grizzly bear, Grizzly bear cub

Edgar: Daddy, look! It’s our airplane. It’s huge!

Ethan: Oh boy! This is gonna be epic. Wait until we tell everyone at school that we got to ride on a big airplane with lots of scary humans.

Rex Raccoon: Don’t worry about the scary humans. They’re not allowed in our part of the plane.

Dottie: Thank goodness! Maybe this is going to work out after all.

File:Tired brown bear 050701 01.JPG - Wikimedia Commons

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

10

The Bears Flying Adventure

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Walking Among Giants': A Writer's Introduction to the Grizzly Bear

Dave and Dottie Bear are planning a family vacation to visit relatives at Yellowstone, a huge National Park in Wyoming. will be traveling with their twin cubs Ethan and Edgar.

Dottie: I’m trying to decide whether it makes more sense to get a suite on the train or try to wrangle the boys in the club car for meals and just get sleeper seats. The sleeper seats are a lot more comfortable.

My favorite ad for the National Parks...love that bear and his backpack!!

Dave: How long does it take there by train?

Dottie: There isn’t anything direct from Northern Michigan. We need to transfer in Detroit. So it’s a little under three days, total.

Dave: That’s a long time for the little guys.

Dottie: Do you want to go someplace closer?

Adorable moment two bears were caught hugging on camera whilst playing | Nature | News | Express.co.uk

Dave: No. Aunt Edna really wants to meet the boys.

Dottie: Then I guess the suite is the better choice.

Dave: Don’t any buses go there?

Dottie: I am not spending 18 hours on a bus with 2 cubs.

Katmai National Park Flight Service (A Review of Bald Mountain Air) - YOUR ALASKAN ADVENTURES

Ethan: I know, Mommy! Let’s fly! (He was holding a toy airplane.)

Edgar: Yeah! That’d be cool! Like on Masha and the Bear.

Dottie: Honey, Masha and Bear have a train, not an airplane.

Edgar: The penguin has a plane cause he has to fly a long way.

China's Harbin Beer Campaign Teams up a Polar Bear and Chimp on a Plane | Branding in Asia

Dottie: Airplanes are really expensive.

Dave: I wonder how much it would cost. Can you check on it?

Dottie: Okay. Let’s see. Round trip on Airbear is more than the train suite. Animal X doesn’t fly there. Let me keep looking. Here’s one that’s reasonable. It’s called Mountain Mover. Have you heard of them?

Dave: I’m looking them up right now. Been in business since 2022. Looks like they were a cargo company before that.

US ends era of emotional support animals on planes

Dottie: It’s run by humans. I don’t think it’s a good idea to use a human company.

Dave: The pictures show animals and humans. They seem pretty happy.

Dottie: Are there any bears?

Dave: No. But that doesn’t mean anything. It won’t hurt to talk to them.

One Mama Bear, Two Cubs, and Three Filmmakers: Disneynature's Bears - The Credits

Dottie and the boys listen to Dave on the phone.

Dave: Hello. I’m interested in a flight from Marquette, Michigan to Yellowstone, Wyoming. I should mention that there would be two adults and two cubs. Yes, we’re black bears. Yes, we’re under 400 pounds each. I guess we’re technically omnivores. No history of attacking anyone. Excellent! I’ll talk it over with my wife. Thank you very much.

Dottie: What did they say?

An Orphanage for Grizzly Bears | Discovery

Dave: They’ve never had bears on board before, but there’s no rules against it. I think we should go for it.

Ethan: Please?

Edgar: Please?

Dottie: I really don’t like the idea of being around humans.

Dave: It’s the cheapest and fastest choice.

Dottie: I guess it makes the most sense.

Watch: Bear tries to get through sliding door to reach food - UPI.com

Their instructions say to arrive at the human airport at least 2 hours before the flight. They hire a BearLyft for the trip.

Driver: Do you know which door you need?

Dave: It’s Mountain Mover, if that helps.

Driver: Let me ask.

Attendant: I don’t know, but they’re not allowed here.

The Two-Second Solution That Keeps Stuff Safe and Bears Wild - BearWise

So it went until they got to the very end. It didn’t look promising, The bears got out and paid the driver.

Dottie (whispering): I told you this was a bad idea.

Dave: Relax. Look, there’s a couple of badgers. And a family of raccoons over there.

Dottie tried to smile at them.

North American raccoon | San Diego Zoo Wildlife Explorers

Edgar: Wow! This place is huge. Where’s our plane?

Dave: It says we have to check our luggage and go through Security.

Ethan: What’s Security?

Dave: I’m not sure. I know it’s supposed to keep us safe on the plane.

Watch: Gatlinburg theme park worker gets bear scare at concession stand

Dave joined the line to check in their luggage. Dottie and the boys sat on a bench nearby.

Agent: Hello, sir. You have a beautiful family.

Dave: Thank you. It’s our first time on an airplane.

Agent: Everything is set. Would you please step on our scales?

Dave: Why? No one else had to.

Weight - North American Bear Center

Agent: Just a formality. We have a passenger weight limit and you are a good-size bear.

Dave hesitated, a little insulted. Then he stepped on.

Agent: Excellent sir, a little under 300 pounds. Must be the fur that makes you look larger. Enjoy your flight.

Two Funny Black Bears Sitting on a Wooden Bench

When Dave got back to Dottie, she and the boys were surrounded by humans. They looked frightened.

Dave: What’s going on here?

Human 1: We’ve never been up close to a bear before.

Child: We want to pet them.

Human 2: Your cubs are incredibly cute.

Dave: Thank you, but you are scaring them. Please move back.

Adorable bear cub siblings hug it out after being reunited

Dottie: Thank goodness you came back. I was afraid they were going to take one of the boys.

Dave: Everything’s fine. Let’s find Security.

They followed the other passengers to a sign that said, Security. Please take off your shoes and have your boarding pass and government ID ready.

Dave: This is not ideal. We don’t have shoes and Michigan doesn’t give bears identification cards.

Bear Feet! | New Journey

Next week: Will the bears get on the flight?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

17

There Goes the Neighborhood: The Groundhogs’ Bad Season: Part 2

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Groundhog Day: Munching Marmots Emerge From the Scientific Shadows - The New York Times

Where we are: Harold and Madge Groundhog were concerned that their yard was being beautified in preparation of being sold. They were rather fond of their human; they and the other animals pretty much had the run of the place. You can read Part 1 here.

Harold: It’s getting worse. Now the other human, the younger one, is starting to clean up the yard too.

Madge: I know. The sticks are all gone, and the grass is shorter than it’s been in ages.

Harold: And the sidewalks are all clean.

Glastonbury Bittersweet Battlers: Invasive Plants Journal: Wild Grape: A Mixed Blessing

Madge: Our human is out every weekend, clearing away the weeds. I guess it’s more the way humans like it, but I miss the overgrowth. She got rid of all the grape vines. She said they were “invasive.”

Harold: Just because they were trying to root in the vinyl siding.

Sara Squirrel: Isn’t that like ivy-league? I thought that was high-class for humans.

Madge: Beats me. All I know is that the sun is getting into our home a lot more than it used to. And I don’t really feel safe anymore.

Roger Raccoon: Me and my friends have been trying to keep it from getting too clean. We’ve dumped the catnip and tomato plants a couple of times.

Ricky Raccoon: Not that you can tell. It gets cleaned up first thing in the morning.

Harold: And they moved some of the stuff inside.

Madge: They keep putting the catnip back down for that new cat to lie in.

Sara Squirrel: Yeah. Those two cats act like they own the place. I thought for sure the inside cats would try to drive them off, but they don’t seem to care.

Pierre Rabbit: I saw the human planting some stuff in front of the house.

Just then a bat flew over. The bats didn’t really like the rest of the animals, but he was curious about what was going on.

Benson: Hey, guys. What’s up?

Madge: We’re worried that the humans are getting the place ready to sell.

Raccoon Will Clean Your House For Treats [VIDEO] | Raccoon funny, Pet raccoon, Raccoon

Benson: You should see what’s going on inside. Major cleaning. Whole rooms are being cleared out.

Madge: Are they talking about moving?

Benson: I wish. My whole family has been living peacefully in the attic. They stirred everything up; we’re all moving out to the bat house. It’s ridiculous inside.

 Madge: But that’s your home!

Benson: It’s not worth it. The human is afraid of us. Every time she sees a bat, she gets the younger one and he puts us out. We’d rather leave on our own terms.

Guide to game: Rabbit and hare

Pierre: It’s not so bad out here. We have a lot of room, and no one bothers us.

Priscilla Rabbit: Did you hear the humans say anything about selling the house?

Benson: No. That’s not what’s going on. I guess that the other main human died a couple of years ago. They’re just finally getting around to really cleaning everything up. It’s a big house and a big yard.

Harold: Yeah. I guess it would take a lot of energy to get things straightened out.

Benson: The humans who are left said something about the one who’s gone being a pack rat. I don’t really know what that means. I saw pictures. He looks like all the other humans.

Cute Mouse Wallpapers - Top Free Cute Mouse Backgrounds - WallpaperAccess

Harold: Weird. I don’t think we have rats around here. I think they look like big mice.

Mortimer Mouse: Yeah. Kinda. But not so cute.

Harold: Do you know what a pack rat is?

Mortimer: I think it has something to do with the way that some rats hoard things.

Benson: Yeah. That sounds right. They are throwing away a LOT of stuff in the house.

Harold: And a lot of stuff out here.

cat loves bunny | Cat love, Rabbit pictures, Pet bunny

Priscilla: But they attracted those two cats. I don’t really like cats.

Pierre: But as long as they feed the cats, the cats don’t bother us.

Priscilla: Good point.

Roger: If they’re not cleaning to sell, we can probably stop trashing the plants on the porch.

Ricky: Sounds good to me. They’re not growing anything good anyway.

Madge (sighing): I guess that means I have to live with less privacy.

Woodchuck Food Habits - Woodchuck Wonderland

Benson: I overheard them say something about moving some of the peonies into the space they cleared.

Madge: Ooh! I love peonies. I hope that’s soon.

Benson: I did hear one other thing. There is no plan to clear the back area anytime soon.

Ricky: All right! Block party this weekend!!

My favorite animal in i party hat, how cute!! | Pet raccoon, Dumb animals, Raccoon funny

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

20

There Goes the Neighborhood: The Groundhogs’ Bad Season

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Groundhog Photos and Facts

The groundhog family had been living under the porch of the old farmhouse for generations. It was a pretty nice location: the humans didn’t spend too much time outside, and they never bothered the groundhogs. There was plenty of clover to eat and even an ornamental peach tree to climb.

Life had been particularly good in the past couple of years. Something had happened to the male human, and the female human stopped working in the yard almost entirely. The garden in front of the porch got overgrown, and it was hard to even see under the porch. The groundhogs were thrilled. Nothing bothered them, and they came and went as they pleased.

File:Groundhog on rock.jpg - Wikipedia

But this past spring something changed.

Harold: Hey Madge, you notice that the human seems more active than usual?

Madge: Yeah. She’s been over at the side of the house digging around. She’s talking about putting in a rock garden.

Harold: That would be nice. It would give us someplace to sun.

Madge: That’s true. We wouldn’t have to walk around to the back of the house anymore.

Harold: I hope she doesn’t dig up all the clover.

Madge: I wouldn’t worry about it. It hasn’t happened in the 20 years our family’s lived here.

Harold: Excellent point.

Woodchuck Food Habits - Woodchuck Wonderland

Indeed, soon enough the human stopped digging up the side of the house. She came back one day with a bunch of plants that she put on the porch.

Madge: Did you see all that gorgeous greenery. It looks pretty yummy.

Harold: It’s awfully close to the house. I’m not going up there to explore.

Madge: I think she’s going to plant some of it in our yard.

Harold: Oooh. That will be nice. The more green, the better.

Nature Notes: Winter is Coming | The Michigan Nature Guy's Blog

However, the human didn’t put the new plants in the yard. She moved them into larger pots and left them on the porch. One morning, the groundhogs heard digging.

Harold: Look, Madge. She’s clearing the part of the yard by the other front porch. Maybe that’s where she’s going to grow our new plants.

Madge: That would be convenient. I wonder if we should figure out a way to tell her where to put the stuff we like best.

Harold: Let’s go explore what’s up there.

Woodchuck Food Habits - Woodchuck Wonderland

The groundhogs discovered that most of the plants were too high to reach. There were a couple of bushes and some catnip. They also found tomatoes and peppers in pots.

Harold: This is very disappointing. I hope the good stuff is in the pots up top.

Madge: Let’s ask the rabbits to check it out for us. They can jump up there and see.

Safe Wood and Other Plants For Rabbits

The next night, Pierre jumped up on the railing and had a look around. All he could see were herbs. Except, there was one particularly appetizing smell.

Pierre: Bad news, guys. There’s nothing really good up there. Oregano, sage, rosemary. Nothing that’s really going to appeal to anyone.

Harold: Well, rats.

Madge: I hope she finishes putting it in soon. At least we won’t have to worry about having a human out all the time.

Groundhog Trapping & Removal Near Willow Grove, Pennsylvania

The human continued cleaning out the yard. The groundhogs weren’t really paying much attention. One Saturday, they woke up to loud noises a few feet from their nest. They looked out in horror.

Madge: Do something, Harold! She’s digging up right next to our porch! We’re going to lose all our privacy.

Harold: What do you want me to do about it?

Madge: I don’t know. We have to stop this.

violentbaudelaire: A squirrel lunch meeting | Cute squirrel, Cute animals, Animals wild

Later that day, they heard the humans discussing the work. They were very excited about how much “nicer” it looked and how much better it would be once all of the weeds were gone. The groundhogs decided it was time for a neighborhood meeting.

Harold: We wanted to get everyone together to discuss what’s going on in the neighborhood.

Sara Squirrel: You mean the humans’ “Beautification” project? It’s awful. They’re picking up all the sticks, digging out all the weeds, and cleaning up the sidewalks.

Roger Raccoon: Before we know it, the whole place is going to look like it belongs on the front of one of those sales brochures. Like it was when the humans first moved in.

Pierre: We can’t let that happen. What if this human decides to sell it? No one is ever going to be as easy to manipulate as she is.

Texas family wakes up to raccoon on bathroom sink - ABC7 New York

Roger: That’s true. She lets us pretty much run the place.

Harold: Maybe. But she’s destroying my peace of mind right now. She’s ruining the entrance to our home.

Priscilla Rabbit: She’s bringing in nasty plants too. I thought she had planted some fennel. Super yummy. But when I dug up the bulbs, it was only the plant, not the edible kind. Talk about rude.

Madge: A couple of cats have started hanging around too. You know the neighborhood won’t be safe anymore if they stick around.

Roger: We have to do something before we get beautified out of our happy homes.

Next Week: The animals’ plan and how it works out.

24

Senior Year Memories

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16 Cats-Graduation Day... ideas | cats, cats and kittens, funny cats

Paisley was looking through her yearbook at what some of her classmates had been signing. Senior year had been so exciting. She was kind of sad it was almost over. The memories started flooding back.

Siberian Tiger - Facts and Beyond | Biology Dictionary

Hey Babe – Sorry about threatening to eat your date for prom. Glad we could work things out. We really belong together. Love 4ever Tommy

Keep Calm and Love Science: Laboratory Cat | Biyoloji

You were the best chemistry partner ever!!! Wonder if they’ll ever get that stain off the table. Gwen

Funny Quotes About Cats And Dogs Fighting. QuotesGram

Wishing you a lifetime of happiness. No hard feelings about that huge fight we had in the lunchroom over who has the best personality. Peace out, Kaylie

Cat Singing - Funny Cat Pictures | Cute animals, Funny cat pictures, Cats

Seems like we’ve been friends forever. Wish I didn’t have to leave town immediately following graduation. My boyfriend is sure we’ll make a lot of money on the road. Love, Jasmine

Cat Riding on top of his best friend : AnimalsBeingBros

Good luck in college. Sure you’ll be top cat wherever you go. Even in the dog-eat-dog “real world”. Ashley

Cute Raccoon (@bulka_s_makam) | Twitter

Sorry we didn’t get a chance to know each other a little better. Apologies once again for almost setting you on fire during the Senior trip. Hamilton

Cat With Makeup : aww

Your sleepovers were legendary. Your brother was so cute with makeup!! Jen

TheMetaPicture.com | Funny animal pictures, Funny animals, Funny cats

Going to prom with you was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Thank goodness. Eddie

What Is The Name For A Group Of Cats? - Tuxedo Cat

The halls of Madison High will be a little quieter without you. Wishing you the best. Mr. Taylor, English Dept.

Photos Of Cat's Being Hilariously Overly Dramatic With Their Owners

Best of luck to my favorite drama queen. Mrs. Parks, Theater and Arts Dept.

16 Cats-Graduation Day... ideas | cats, cats and kittens, funny cats

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

7

The Animal Rights Coalition – Part 4

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Image result for animals as attorneys meme

Where we are: The Animal Rights Coalition (ARC) has been working to stop humans from using their names as insults. They have had no luck with submitting a petition or trying to meet with the members of the Human Council. Gregg Bear and Ivan Tiger decide that it is time to consult with a lawyer. (Links to the previous sections are found at the right)

Gregg and Ivan are waiting in the offices of Sharkfin and Sharkfin to meet with the attorney. A well-groomed Siamese cat approached them.

Siamese: Hello, I’m Greta. I’ve been assigned your case.

Image result for confused bear

Gregg and Ivan looked at each other. Was this some kind of joke? This cat was not going to intimidate a bunch of humans. What was she going to do? Purr loud?

Ivan: Meaning no disrespect….

Greta: You want to know why I’m not a shark, right?

Gregg: Actually, yes. We’ve been trying to get a bunch of humans to listen to us and we wanted someone to get their attention.

Greta: Actually, that’s why they sent me. If you two aren’t going to intimidate them, we certainly won’t.

Image result for tiger with human

Ivan: What do we do?

Greta: First, you have to know what is going to get their attention. What can you do that they can’t ignore? When do you interact with the humans?

Ivan: We see them at the stores and at work. But that’s just the regular humans.

Greta: OK. But they’re all just regular humans.

Image result for animal business meme

Ivan: Some of them are more important. They own things and tell other people what to do.

Gregg: We want to get their attention.

Greta: Then you need to make them understand that their insults are having an impact on their business. You need to tell people to stop using their products until the humans stop insulting you.

Gregg and Ivan left, confused. They had wanted to hire someone to sue the humans. This cat wanted them to educate the humans. They called another ARC meeting.

Image result for animal meeting

Gregg: We met with a lawyer. She said that we need to get the humans to see that we’re important to their business before they’ll listen to us.

Cecile Ferret: I guess that makes sense. They’ve thought they’re better and smarter than us forever.

Joe Iguana: They take us for granted.

Ivan: That’s what the lawyer said.

Ralph: OK. What do we do?

Image result for clean dog

The animals talked about which businesses they might be able to influence. They decided that they would only do one at first to see if anything happened. The first business they targeted was Adderson’s Shoe Supplies. They posted this message outside shoe stores:

“Please buy a brand other than Adderson’s. Their advertising calls tired, stinky feet “dogs”. We want them to find a different way to sell their product. Thank you. ARC

The signs didn’t work. People still bought the shoes.

Gregg: I don’t think this is a very good idea.

Image result for animal picnic meme

Joe: I don’t know why we chose shoes. We don’t wear shoes. We should have done food. Food is always good.

Cecile: Did you hear? We made the news!

“Tonight’s local take is the boycott ARC is trying to start against Adderson’s Shoes for slander. It seems the animals are finally tired of being insulted. Good luck!”

Image result for luck animal

Ivan: Great. We’ll need it.

Cecile: It gets better. Look at this:

Animal call for end to insults spreads. Several areas have picked up on the ARC animals’ quest to end animal name insults. Protest is gaining momentum.

Three months later: Due to grass-roots pressure from their customers, humans included, the Human Council began the process to identify and eliminate institutional animal insults.

Image result for happy animals

 

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

 

13

Ranger Bob – Conclusion

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Image result for bear in the woods

So far: Four raccoon kits have met a bear at the park. The bear turns out to be the beloved Ranger Bob. Somehow the school has lost track of its former safety adviser, and he is living across the river with his daughter. Upon discovery, Ranger Bob is invited to visit the school. You can start the story here.

Ranger Bob steps onto the stage and hugs John The young animals clap and sit down.

Ranger Bob:  Hello, everyone! It’s nice to see you.

Students: It’s nice to see you too, Ranger Bob.

Ranger Bob: I want to thank Ms. Porcupine for inviting me to speak. I used to come to the school a lot. I know most of your parents.

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Timmy Chipmunk: My mom was really excited that you’re here She says you know everything about safety in the woods.

Ranger Bob (embarrassed): Well, I don’t know everything. But I’ve learned a lot over time.

Ms. Porcupine: I invited Ranger Bob here to share some of what he knows about forest safety.

Ranger Bob: What’s the most important thing to remember in the woods?

The children shout out answers:

Don’t get lost!

Don’t eat poison plants!

Don’t eat poison bugs!

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Don’t eat each other!

Everyone laughs.

Ranger Bob: The most important thing to remember is to be prepared. Be sure you have enough water available. Know how to get back to where you started. Questions?

Wally Weasel:  Is it OK to go out by ourselves?

Ranger Bob: I recommend that you always take at least one friend with you. But if you do go alone, be sure someone else knows where you’re going and when you plan to be home.

Image result for beaver is lost

Becky Beaver: What do I do if I get lost?

Ranger Bob: If you’re sure you’re lost, find a safe spot and stay there until someone finds you.

Rikki Raccoon: I’d climb a tree to see if I recognized anything.

Ranger Bob: Excellent idea!

Sheila Squirrel: I’d use the squirrel chatter network to tell my parents where I was.

Ranger Bob: Wonderful!

Image result for howling wolf cub

Louie Wolf: I’d howl to give my position.

Ranger Bob: Another excellent idea! You children are doing great!

Mama and Papa Raccoon are sitting at the back of the room with Ms. Porcupine.

Ms. Porcupine: He really gets along well with the children, doesn’t he?

Mama: Oh, yes. He always has.

Ms. Porcupine: He’s so big. I wonder why they aren’t afraid of him.

Image result for bear hugging wolf

Papa: They know he won’t hurt them. I don’t think they even think about his size after a while.

Mama: He’s very gentle. And talks to them as if they were all the same size.

They watch Ranger Bob and the children for a while.

Ranger Bob: Kids, I’m having a great time, but I think it’s about time for me to go. Any last questions?

Anna Raccoon: Are you going to come back soon and teach us more?

Ranger Bob: That’s up to your school.

Image result for sitting porcupine

The children turn to look at Ms. Porcupine.

Ms. Porcupine: What types of things did you have in mind, Anna?

Anna Raccoon: I don’t know. Safety stuff. Like swimming.

The others join in.

Forest fires

Snakes

Floods

Image result for animal first aid meme

First Aid

Building shelters

Finally, Ms. Porcupine holds up her paw, laughing.

Ms. Porcupine: Ranger Bob, it seems that the children have become very interested in safety all of a sudden.

Ranger Bob: They were very good listeners. And it is important that they know how to stay safe. We want them around for a while.

The children giggle and nod.

Ms. Porcupine: You seem to get along well with them and enjoy teaching them.

Image result for safety bear

Ranger Bob: I’ve enjoyed teaching kids about safety for as long as I can remember.

Ms. Porcupine: Would you be available to come in one afternoon a month for a presentation?

Ranger Bob: I’d be honored.

Ms. Porcupine: Just tell me the subject ahead of time so the parents will know. They might want to come too.

Ranger Bob: Of course.

Ranger Bob turns to the children.

Ranger Bob: OK, kids?

They race up and hug him. It looks like there might be tears in Ranger Bob’s eyes.

Image result for bear with arms out

 

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.