22

Groundhog Day Kerfluffle – Part II

Cocky Groundhog Steals Farmer's Food and Flaunts It in Front of the Camera  - AZ Animals

Where we are: Gustav Groundhog has gotten up early on February 2 to make sure everything is in order for his big Groundhog Day proclamation. Unfortunately, when he leaves the den, he is greeted by a group of hedgehogs who are intent on celebrating Hedgehog Day in the old Roman tradition. The hedgehogs are led by Nigel and Oliver who want to start their own celebration. You can read Part 1 here.

What is the difference between a groundhog and a hedgehog? - Quora

Gustav: See here. This is my spot. The humans will be coming here to watch the groundhog predict whether or not there’s going to be an early spring.

Nigel: There’s no point in your stupid prediction. We’re out and about. That’s enough to say that spring will be early.

Gustav: Don’t be ridiculous. It depends on whether or not I see my shadow. If it’s sunny and I see my shadow, I’m going back to bed for another six weeks.

Oliver: That’s stupid. If you see your shadow, that means it’s sunny. Why would you go back to bed?

Gustav: That’s just the way it works. If it’s sunny early on the 2nd, winter will be sticking around for a while.

Creature Feature: Groundhog Day - Blue Ridge Country

Nigel: So if you wake up in the middle of a snowstorm, that’s a sign of an early spring?

Gustav: I didn’t say that.

Nigel: No, but you won’t see your shadow.

Oliver: Excellent point.

Gustav: It’s never snowed all day on Groundhog Day. I’ve always been able to tell one way or the other. Besides, how do you know whether or not to come out?

snowmen... | Cute animals, Funny hedgehog, Baby hedgehog

Nigel looked at Oliver.

Nigel: Actually, we saw a posting that you would be holding a celebration. We figured that if the weather is good enough for a celebration, it’s good enough for us to come out.

Gustav: So you’re not out because you’re sensing warm weather.

Nigel: It’s warm enough for us to be out.

Oliver: There’s not a manual for this type of thing. It more a matter of whether we’re comfortable leaving home.

Nigel: And we’re comfortable, so we’re going to declare an early spring.

angry hedgehog :3 | Hedgehog, Funny animals, Animal planet

Gustav: You can’t do that. You’ll ruin my big day.

Nigel: It’s not your big day. It started out as Hedgehog Day and your sort stole the idea.

Gustav: We did not steal your idea. No one over here was celebrating that.

They argued back and forth, neither side willing to give up. They didn’t notice that people had begun to arrive and were watching them. The humans were fascinated. They had never seen a groundhog talking to a hedgehog.

Punxsutawney Phil's Groundhog Day 2012: A Shadowy Science

Human 1: Why is that groundhog yelling at the baby porcupines?

Human 2: Those aren’t porcupines, they’re hedgehogs.

Human 3: Where’d they come from? We don’t have wild hedgehogs around here.

Human 1: I have no idea. They’re pretty cute, though.

Human 2: When is that groundhog going to get up on his stump and look for his shadow? It’s freezing out here.

Gustav heard the people talking and realized it was time. He tried to walk away from the hedgehogs, but they had him surrounded.

10 Interesting Facts About Groundhogs and How to Remove Them

Gustav: Please let me make my prediction. It only happens one time each year.

Nigel: We want to be part of the ceremony.

Gustav: Doing what? All I do is stand there. The humans try to see my shadow and take my picture.

Oliver: We want to be in the picture.

Gustav: Fine. Be in the picture. Let’s just get this over with.

Gustav led the way to the big stump in the clearing. He climbed up and waited for the hedgehogs. When everyone was in place, he stood up. The people gathered around.

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Human 1: Look! No shadow. It’s going to be an early spring!

There was a round of applause. The hedgehogs weren’t used to humans and curled up into balls.

Human 2: I wonder what that means?

Human 3: No idea. But they’re really cute.

The humans left piles of vegetable. Gustav shared them with the hedgehogs, making sure to keep all of the rutabagas.

Nigel: That was rather unpleasant. Humans are large and loud.

Oliver: I don’t think I want to do this anymore.

Nigel: You can have your holiday back, groundhog.

Gustav wandered off to take a quick nap.

Groundhog Day: Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow - and 3 in 5 Americans  trust his prediction! - Study Finds

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

 

 

20

Groundhog Day Kerfluffle

Fun Facts About Groundhogs. The groundhog is a rodent of the family… | by  U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service | Updates from the U.S. Fish and Wildlife  Service | Medium

Note: In the United States and Canada, February 2 is celebrated as Groundhog Day. According to legend, if a groundhog (or woodchuck) comes out of its den on that day and sees its shadow, it will return to the den and winter will last another six weeks. If it is cloudy, and the groundhog cannot see its shadow, it will remain out and spring will arrive early.

It’s mid-fall somewhere in Northern Michigan. Gustav Groundhog and his family are getting ready for hibernation.

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Monique: Has everybody had enough to eat?

Juliette: I’m stuffed, Mom. Couldn’t eat another bite.

Junior: I’ve been filling up on the last of the rutabagas. I love rutabagas.

Gustav: Remember to leave a couple for the end of the season. I’m going to be hungry when I wake up early.

Juliette: Dad, I don’t understand what the big deal is about Groundhog Day. We should all just sleep until we wake up naturally. Who cares how long winter is going to last?

National Groundhog Day 2022 - Fun Facts - Folklore and Weather Prediction

Gustav: It’s a family tradition. We’ve been the “weather hogs” for generations. It’s not so bad now that I finally got the humans to stop trying to pull me out of the den. If I go out on my own, it’s a lot more pleasant.

Monique: It is really nice getting all of those veggies your fans leave.

Junior: I hope they bring rutabagas this year. There was an awful lot of celery last year.

Juliette: Yeah. And it was still wrapped.

Monique: The flowers were pretty tasty too.

Gustav: All I have to do is walk out of the den, stand on my back legs for a few minutes, and come back in. As long as they get their pictures, everyone’s happy.

Tired groundhog | Jonathan D.-Casey | Flickr

Monique: And if you’re quiet, the rest of us don’t even have to wake up.

Juliette: Yeah, Dad. Quiet. Not like last year when you stepped on all of us.

Gustav: It’s dark in the den at the beginning of February. Besides, that wasn’t me. That was the goofy rabbit I paid to wake me up. I thought rabbits had good eyesight. He couldn’t tell which one was me.

Junior: It’s dark in here because we’re supposed to be asleep. How are you going to keep Herkimer quiet?

Gustav: Don’t worry. I’ll sleep closest to the door this year. Besides, I have the Internet now, so I don’t need Herkimer. I have my own alarm.

Junior: Let me make sure you set it right.

Gustav: Thanks, son. Put it at half-past dawn on the the second.

Groundhogs agree spring is early this year -

Gustav and his family settled in for their long winter nap. Before he knew it, Gustav heard the soft buzzing of his alarm. He carefully turned it off. Gustav got up and stretched. He was cold and sleepy. Hopefully this wasn’t going to take very long. He walked over to the edge of the den and looked out.

He saw some snow in the early light. It would be a little while before the humans showed up. He decided to have a snack and got one of the rutabagas. As he munched, he walked outside. He was surprised to see a line of hedgehogs surrounding his den.

A group of hedgehogs is called a prickle : r/aww

Gustav: Hi, guys. What are you doing here? You’re going to have to move. This is my big day to predict the end of winter. The humans should be arriving shortly.

Hedgehog: I’m Nigel and my buddy is Oliver. We brought some of our friends to protest your ceremony.

Gustav: Why are you protesting? My family’s been doing this for generations.

Nigel: We heard. And it’s not right. This is supposed to be Hedgehog Day, not Groundhog Day.

Gustav: That’s silly. Whoever heard of Hedgehog Day?

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Oliver: It’s not silly. You’ve stolen our day. It started with the Romans. If we come out in early February, it means spring is close. If you don’t see us, winter will last several more weeks.

Gustav: There aren’t any Romans around anymore.

Nigel: No. But some people still celebrate in Europe. It’s particularly popular in Ireland.

Gustav: You’re in Michigan, not Ireland. We celebrate Groundhog Day here. Now get out of my space.

Oliver: We’re not going anywhere. We’ve come to reclaim our holiday. And the treats that go with it. We’re not moving.

Next week: Will Gustav get the hedgehogs to move along so he can collect his Groundhog Day goodies?

Groundhog vs Gopher: 5 Key Differences - AZ Animals

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

21

Jake Rabbit, the Very Bad Hibernation Lodger

Teddy wants everyone to see his party hat and give him compliments : r/ Rabbits

Suzy Bunny had been subletting a room from Wally Woodchuck and his family for several months. She was a very sweet bunny, and they treated her like a daughter. Towards the end of summer, she brought her boyfriend Jake home to meet the Woodchucks.

Suzy: Everyone, this is Jake.

They all greeted him and invited him for dinner. He was a very charming rabbit and soon won everyone over with his jokes and laid-back manner. It wasn’t long before he was visiting every day.

When the weather began to cool down, Jake had an idea.

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Jake: Suzy, how about I move in with you for the winter? I need a place to get out of the snow, and it’s really nice here under the porch.

Suzy: You mean like we would be living together? That sounds awesome!

Jake: Yeah! Do you think it would be okay with the Woodchucks?

Suzy: I don’t know why they would mind they seem to really like you.

Jake: You should ask. I know they think of you like family.

Groundhog Day 2018 Results Are Very Different | Time

Suzy approached Wally and Wanda, explaining that she would like to have Jake move in. They looked at each other.

Wally: You know that we love you, Suzy. But we hibernate in the winter, and we’re just getting ready to settle down. We think it’s fine for you to stay here, but we really don’t know about having anyone else in the burrow.

Wanda: He seems like a nice young man, but rabbits don’t hibernate. We really need our rest.

Suzy was disappointed, but she went back to tell Jake that the answer was no. He didn’t say anything right away. But the next time he visited for dinner, he brought it up.

Two bunnies cuddling (Melts my Heart) : r/aww

Jake: You know, winter is coming and I really need someplace to stay in the bad weather. I’ve been dating Suzy for about six months now, and it would be perfect if I could just move in with her.

Wally: Where are you now, Jake?

Jake: I’m with my parents, but I don’t really belong there, being a fully grown rabbit and all.

Wally: That’s probably true. They’ll be having little ones in the spring, more likely than not.

Jake: Exactly. And I really don’t have any privacy. It’s not like I can take Suzy back there.

HotSpot Pictures | Sleepy groundhog

Wanda: We really like you, Jake. But we’re concerned about having someone coming and going at all hours while we’re trying to hibernate. Suzy is very quiet, and we think that she’ll be fine. We really don’t know you very well.

Jake: You won’t even know I’m here. I promise.

Suzy: You have my word. I’ll make sure he’s as quiet as I am.

5 Natural Ways To Get Rid of Groundhogs - Farmers' Almanac - Plan Your Day.  Grow Your Life.

The Woodchucks thought about it for a few days, and decided to let Jake move in. It was only a couple of weeks before hibernation, and they were busy gathering their nesting materials and eating extra to put on some weight. The only thing that they really noticed was that he seemed to have a lot of friends all of a sudden.

Wally: Well, this is good-night for the season. The kids are all settled in. Wanda and I wanted to see if you had any questions before we turn in.

Jake: Where do you keep the extra food? I noticed that there really isn’t much in the pantry.

Wanda: We don’t keep food over the winter. We’re sleeping. It’s up to you and Suzy to feed yourselves.

Jake: Oh. I guess I hadn’t really thought it through. That makes sense.

Do Rabbits Hibernate in Winter? {How do they Survive?} » Birds & Wild

Suzy: It’s okay, sweetie. You’ve foraged before haven’t you?

Jake: Not, really. I lived at home. Guess I’ll have to pick it up.

Wally: Anything else?

Jake: Exactly how soundly do you guys sleep? I mean, what if there’s an emergency?

Wally: What kind of emergency?

Jake: I don’t know. What if we need you?

Punxsutawney Phil's Groundhog Day 2012: A Shadowy Science

Wally and Wanda looked at each other.

Wally: Good night, Jake. Have a good winter, Suzy.

Suzy: Sleep well, guys. See you in the spring.

Jake started hopping around.

Jake: This is really weird. They’re going to sleep for months?

Suzy: That’s how hibernation works. We’ll be fine.

Commentary: Hibernation? Give it a rest | Chanhassen Opinion |  swnewsmedia.com

The Woodchucks get settled in for the winter, and are peacefully hibernating. Suzy and Jake were adjusting to life together.

Jake: We should have a party! You know, like a housewarming!

Suzy: We can’t have a party. The Woodchucks are hibernating.

Jake: How about something small? Just a few of our friends.

Reluctantly, Suzy agreed. A few rabbits came over one night. Suzy checked on the Woodchucks, and they seemed to be fine.

Group of rabbits eating food in the garden | Rabbit feeding, What to feed  rabbits, Rabbit eating

Jake: See? I told you it would be okay.

Jake got into the habit of having a few of his buddies over every couple of days. One or two of them seemed to be pretty much living at the burrow. Suzy didn’t really notice because she was busy outside of the burrow. She really liked winter. Jake didn’t notice that the Woodchucks were a little restless in the their hibernation.

Jake: Suzy, this is great! It’s like having our own place. It’s like the Woodchucks aren’t even here.

Suzy: I’m getting nervous, Jake. This isn’t our place, and we really don’t know how much noise they won’t hear. I promised them I would be quiet.

Jake: Relax. They’re out for the season.

Researchers find the secret of the bunny hop: it's all in the genes |  Genetics | The Guardian

Jake decided to throw a party. Suzy went along because she really liked Jake. Things were going pretty well until a bunch of rabbits started dancing. They were shaking the whole burrow. Suddenly, a very large form stood in the doorway.

Wally: I thought I told you that you needed to be quiet?

Jake didn’t even see him. Suzy poked him to attention.

Jake: What?

Groundhog Day 2022: Forecast, Facts, and Folklore - Farmers' Almanac - Plan  Your Day. Grow Your Life.

Wally: I TOLD YOU TO BE QUIET IF YOU WANTED TO STAY HERE!

Jake: Did we wake you?

Wally: Of course, you woke me. You woke everyone in the neighborhood. You need to leave. Now.

The other rabbits had scattered when they saw the large woodchuck. It was only Suzy and Jake in the burrow.

Suzy: I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize it was going to be so loud. I shouldn’t have agreed to it.

Wally: No, you shouldn’t have. He has to go. Or you both have to go. Now.

Jake slunk out into the darkness. He had no idea where he was going. Suzy was in tears. Wally stomped back to bed.

Next week: What is going to happen to Jake?

Can Rabbits Stay Outside in the Winter? | Rabbit Hole Hay

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

17

There Goes the Neighborhood: The Groundhogs’ Bad Season: Part 2

Groundhog Day: Munching Marmots Emerge From the Scientific Shadows - The  New York Times

Where we are: Harold and Madge Groundhog were concerned that their yard was being beautified in preparation of being sold. They were rather fond of their human; they and the other animals pretty much had the run of the place. You can read Part 1 here.

Harold: It’s getting worse. Now the other human, the younger one, is starting to clean up the yard too.

Madge: I know. The sticks are all gone, and the grass is shorter than it’s been in ages.

Harold: And the sidewalks are all clean.

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Madge: Our human is out every weekend, clearing away the weeds. I guess it’s more the way humans like it, but I miss the overgrowth. She got rid of all the grape vines. She said they were “invasive.”

Harold: Just because they were trying to root in the vinyl siding.

Sara Squirrel: Isn’t that like ivy-league? I thought that was high-class for humans.

Madge: Beats me. All I know is that the sun is getting into our home a lot more than it used to. And I don’t really feel safe anymore.

Roger Raccoon: Me and my friends have been trying to keep it from getting too clean. We’ve dumped the catnip and tomato plants a couple of times.

Ricky Raccoon: Not that you can tell. It gets cleaned up first thing in the morning.

Harold: And they moved some of the stuff inside.

Madge: They keep putting the catnip back down for that new cat to lie in.

Sara Squirrel: Yeah. Those two cats act like they own the place. I thought for sure the inside cats would try to drive them off, but they don’t seem to care.

Pierre Rabbit: I saw the human planting some stuff in front of the house.

Just then a bat flew over. The bats didn’t really like the rest of the animals, but he was curious about what was going on.

Benson: Hey, guys. What’s up?

Madge: We’re worried that the humans are getting the place ready to sell.

Raccoon Will Clean Your House For Treats [VIDEO] | Raccoon funny, Pet  raccoon, Raccoon

Benson: You should see what’s going on inside. Major cleaning. Whole rooms are being cleared out.

Madge: Are they talking about moving?

Benson: I wish. My whole family has been living peacefully in the attic. They stirred everything up; we’re all moving out to the bat house. It’s ridiculous inside.

 Madge: But that’s your home!

Benson: It’s not worth it. The human is afraid of us. Every time she sees a bat, she gets the younger one and he puts us out. We’d rather leave on our own terms.

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Pierre: It’s not so bad out here. We have a lot of room, and no one bothers us.

Priscilla Rabbit: Did you hear the humans say anything about selling the house?

Benson: No. That’s not what’s going on. I guess that the other main human died a couple of years ago. They’re just finally getting around to really cleaning everything up. It’s a big house and a big yard.

Harold: Yeah. I guess it would take a lot of energy to get things straightened out.

Benson: The humans who are left said something about the one who’s gone being a pack rat. I don’t really know what that means. I saw pictures. He looks like all the other humans.

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Harold: Weird. I don’t think we have rats around here. I think they look like big mice.

Mortimer Mouse: Yeah. Kinda. But not so cute.

Harold: Do you know what a pack rat is?

Mortimer: I think it has something to do with the way that some rats hoard things.

Benson: Yeah. That sounds right. They are throwing away a LOT of stuff in the house.

Harold: And a lot of stuff out here.

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Priscilla: But they attracted those two cats. I don’t really like cats.

Pierre: But as long as they feed the cats, the cats don’t bother us.

Priscilla: Good point.

Roger: If they’re not cleaning to sell, we can probably stop trashing the plants on the porch.

Ricky: Sounds good to me. They’re not growing anything good anyway.

Madge (sighing): I guess that means I have to live with less privacy.

Woodchuck Food Habits - Woodchuck Wonderland

Benson: I overheard them say something about moving some of the peonies into the space they cleared.

Madge: Ooh! I love peonies. I hope that’s soon.

Benson: I did hear one other thing. There is no plan to clear the back area anytime soon.

Ricky: All right! Block party this weekend!!

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Pictures courtesy of Google Images

20

There Goes the Neighborhood: The Groundhogs’ Bad Season

Groundhog Photos and Facts

The groundhog family had been living under the porch of the old farmhouse for generations. It was a pretty nice location: the humans didn’t spend too much time outside, and they never bothered the groundhogs. There was plenty of clover to eat and even an ornamental peach tree to climb.

Life had been particularly good in the past couple of years. Something had happened to the male human, and the female human stopped working in the yard almost entirely. The garden in front of the porch got overgrown, and it was hard to even see under the porch. The groundhogs were thrilled. Nothing bothered them, and they came and went as they pleased.

File:Groundhog on rock.jpg - Wikipedia

But this past spring something changed.

Harold: Hey Madge, you notice that the human seems more active than usual?

Madge: Yeah. She’s been over at the side of the house digging around. She’s talking about putting in a rock garden.

Harold: That would be nice. It would give us someplace to sun.

Madge: That’s true. We wouldn’t have to walk around to the back of the house anymore.

Harold: I hope she doesn’t dig up all the clover.

Madge: I wouldn’t worry about it. It hasn’t happened in the 20 years our family’s lived here.

Harold: Excellent point.

Woodchuck Food Habits - Woodchuck Wonderland

Indeed, soon enough the human stopped digging up the side of the house. She came back one day with a bunch of plants that she put on the porch.

Madge: Did you see all that gorgeous greenery. It looks pretty yummy.

Harold: It’s awfully close to the house. I’m not going up there to explore.

Madge: I think she’s going to plant some of it in our yard.

Harold: Oooh. That will be nice. The more green, the better.

Nature Notes: Winter is Coming | The Michigan Nature Guy's Blog

However, the human didn’t put the new plants in the yard. She moved them into larger pots and left them on the porch. One morning, the groundhogs heard digging.

Harold: Look, Madge. She’s clearing the part of the yard by the other front porch. Maybe that’s where she’s going to grow our new plants.

Madge: That would be convenient. I wonder if we should figure out a way to tell her where to put the stuff we like best.

Harold: Let’s go explore what’s up there.

Woodchuck Food Habits - Woodchuck Wonderland

The groundhogs discovered that most of the plants were too high to reach. There were a couple of bushes and some catnip. They also found tomatoes and peppers in pots.

Harold: This is very disappointing. I hope the good stuff is in the pots up top.

Madge: Let’s ask the rabbits to check it out for us. They can jump up there and see.

Safe Wood and Other Plants For Rabbits

The next night, Pierre jumped up on the railing and had a look around. All he could see were herbs. Except, there was one particularly appetizing smell.

Pierre: Bad news, guys. There’s nothing really good up there. Oregano, sage, rosemary. Nothing that’s really going to appeal to anyone.

Harold: Well, rats.

Madge: I hope she finishes putting it in soon. At least we won’t have to worry about having a human out all the time.

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The human continued cleaning out the yard. The groundhogs weren’t really paying much attention. One Saturday, they woke up to loud noises a few feet from their nest. They looked out in horror.

Madge: Do something, Harold! She’s digging up right next to our porch! We’re going to lose all our privacy.

Harold: What do you want me to do about it?

Madge: I don’t know. We have to stop this.

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Later that day, they heard the humans discussing the work. They were very excited about how much “nicer” it looked and how much better it would be once all of the weeds were gone. The groundhogs decided it was time for a neighborhood meeting.

Harold: We wanted to get everyone together to discuss what’s going on in the neighborhood.

Sara Squirrel: You mean the humans’ “Beautification” project? It’s awful. They’re picking up all the sticks, digging out all the weeds, and cleaning up the sidewalks.

Roger Raccoon: Before we know it, the whole place is going to look like it belongs on the front of one of those sales brochures. Like it was when the humans first moved in.

Pierre: We can’t let that happen. What if this human decides to sell it? No one is ever going to be as easy to manipulate as she is.

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Roger: That’s true. She lets us pretty much run the place.

Harold: Maybe. But she’s destroying my peace of mind right now. She’s ruining the entrance to our home.

Priscilla Rabbit: She’s bringing in nasty plants too. I thought she had planted some fennel. Super yummy. But when I dug up the bulbs, it was only the plant, not the edible kind. Talk about rude.

Madge: A couple of cats have started hanging around too. You know the neighborhood won’t be safe anymore if they stick around.

Roger: We have to do something before we get beautified out of our happy homes.

Next Week: The animals’ plan and how it works out.

18

Groundhog Day: What Happened on Hog Hill?

Groundhog Day 2022: Forecast, Facts, and Folklore - Farmers' Almanac

Things had been a little tense on Hog Hill on February 2 (Groundhog Day). When Gus Groundhog made his annual prediction, he only appeared for a couple of minutes and made the actual announcement on his Twitter account. Not at all the festivities we were expecting. We decided to do do a little investigating.

The first thing we discovered was that Gus hadn’t been on any type of social media since Groundhog Day. Had he gone back into hibernation? We spoke to some of the neighbors.

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Peter Rabbit: It’s been very quiet over there. Usually, Gus has a big party after the announcement. But this year, there was nothing.

Penelope Rabbit: Maybe he’s sick.

Bethany Deer: Maybe. He didn’t look very well on the 2nd.

Joe Squirrel: Maybe he just got tired of all the fuss. You know folks blame him for the weather when it’s still snowing in April.

Josie Squirrel: Maybe someone turned off all his accounts. Maybe it’s a conspiracy against groundhogs. Someone should look into that.

17 Repeatable Quotes From 'Groundhog Day'

Obviously, we are going to have to talk to Gus.

We went to the burrow. But no one answered the door. Maybe there was something wrong. Was he even still in town?

What next? We staked it out, watching both entrances. No movement for over a week. The other animals in the neighborhood were getting curious.

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Josie: No luck? I hope everything’s OK. Maybe we should just go in.

Penelope: Do you think so?

Josie: What if he’s really sick? Maybe we should call the animal welfare hotline.

Joe: Hold up, ladies. Groundhogs hibernate. Not seeing one in February is no reason to go bursting into his house. For all we know, he saw that there was going to be a lot more winter, rolled over, and went back to sleep. We’d scare him half to death breaking into his house. He’d have every right to attack us. Have you seen those claws and teeth?

Great groundhogs: Getting to know Illinois' burrowing hibernator:  University of Illinois Extension

We realized Joe might be right. Maybe there was no story. Just then, Peter hopped up.

Peter: Hey, guys. What’s up?

Joe: Everyone’s worried about Gus. Apparently the media has got everyone wondering about him. Personally, I think we should just let him be.

We felt badly. We had thought it was a quick human interest story. It was never intended to be an investigation. We didn’t want to upset anyone, so we started to pack up our stuff.

Josie: Don’t blame them. They haven’t bothered him. And it’s weird that we haven’t seen Gus during his big time of the year. Usually he’s active after he gets up for the announcement.

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A car drove up and stopped in front of Gus’s burrow. A matronly groundhog got out and looked around. She seemed surprised by the group of animals.

Groundhog: Hello. I’m Emma. Is everything okay?

Peter: Hello. We’re well. And yourself?

Emma: Yes, I’m wonderful. I’m here to visit my grandbabies.

Josie squealed.

Josie: Grandbabies? Gus had babies?

Woodchucks | Hungry Baby Woodchucks | Baby groundhog, Wildlife photos, Baby  animals

Emma (laughing): Technically, Georgette had the babies. But yes – Gus is a daddy. Didn’t he tell you?

Penelope: No, we haven’t heard a thing since he came outside for a couple of minutes on Groundhog Day.

Josie: We’ve been worried about him. He even disappeared off social media. And he’s a local celebrity, so he’s always on Twitter.

Emma: There’s no need to worry. He’s just running around in circles with his five little chucklings.

Emma went up to the door, and Gus let her into the burrow. He lifted a paw and waved at his neighbors.

Gus: Hey, guys! Sorry to have been off the radar. Tons of snaps coming soon. Watch for me!

That was the Gus we knew and loved. It wouldn’t be long before he was back.

We KNEW there had been a story.

10 facts about groundhogs

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

16

Cheeseland Personal Ads

Image result for animal love

(Please note that Cheeseland is not responsible for the content of these ads. It is solely the responsibility of the individual to determine the truthfulness of any claims.)

Lonely male lion looking for mate. Must be sleek, fast and good at presenting dinner. Please no mothers with cubs. Send RECENT picture to S231@chz.catz.

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Attractive hog looking for love. Do you like walks in the woods? Snuffling for goodies? Wallowing in the cool mud on a hot day? You might be my dream girl. Contact me at S232@chz.catz.

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Single lady groundhog looking for gentleman to den with this winter. Must be of good character. Possibility of romance. Prefer country living.  S233@chz.catz.

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Good-looking Tom cat looking for a kitty to share fun times. If you like hunting mice, chasing bugs, and lapping a bowl of good cream, we should talk. Not looking for a relationship, just a friend. S234@chz.catz.

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Male moose looking for girl to take home to Manitoba. Must be willing and able to walk long distances. Good home, plenty to eat. Remote location with no hunters. S235@chz.catz

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Female raccoon looking for male who enjoys city living. Likes: tipping garbage cans, dumpster diving, woodpiles and garages. Dislikes: plastic lawn ornaments, metal cans, and people. Sound like you? Contact me at S236@chz.catz.

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Female monkey looking for partner. Should be hunky monkey who’s good with keys. I want to escape this cage and run away on a romantic weekend. Family in another country a plus. S237@chz.catz.

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Hunting dog seeking same. I need a partner for an upcoming trip. Must be able to handle loud humans, bad hunting skills, and poor sleep. Potential for permanent home with humans. Interested? S238@chz.catz.

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Male sloth looking for companionship. I have a good coat with an attractive moss cover. Prefer local female. Would like to meet face-to-face within the next six months. S239@chz.catz.

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Adorable kitty looking for Prince Charming. Should be clean and well-mannered. Must be willing to treat me like a princess and fulfill my every whim. Human responses will be considered. S230@chz.catz.

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All pictures courtesy of Google Images

Snoops and Kommando here – Next Thursday is Remember Me Thursday – it’s a reminder that every kitty deserves a forever home. Please do your part and adopt several cats. Kittens are acceptable.

11

Road Trip! The Gators’ Summer Vacation – Part 2

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Al and Abby Gator have left their swamp in southern Florida for a visit to more temperate Tennessee. You can read Part 1 here.

Soon enough Abby and Al had a good idea of what the human’s desire to “go viral” was going to mean for them. It seemed like every time they started making progress on the drive, they would pull over. It was usually at a gas station or restaurant. The guy would get out and invite people over to see “his” alligators. Invariably he would draw a crowd of people to look at his “tame” alligators. It was totally humiliating, and the Gators hoped no one they knew would see it.

Abby and Al tried to endure it with dignity. It was terrible having a bunch of humans trying to put dirty hands on their bodies. It wasn’t even the children who wanted to pet them; it was the adults. Finally Al had enough. When one particularly obnoxious man said he wanted to “pet the suitcase-to-be”, Al snapped at him.

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The driver loved it. At the next stop, he showed the video of the “vicious” alligator he was courageously transporting. Luckily they arrived at Orlando before Al tried to discover how courageous he really was. They were dropped at the station for the Raccoon Brothers Regional Rail Lines.

Abby: Thank goodness! I thought we’d never get here.

Al (growling): It’s a good thing. The world was almost minus a couple of humans. Not that anyone would have noticed those two were gone.

Abby: Forget about them. I’m so excited! We’re finally on our way!

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Conductor: Welcome aboard. We don’t see many alligators.  May I see your tickets, please?

(Abby hands them to him.)

Conductor (looking at the tickets): Don’t think I’ve ever seen a gator go that far north. You sure this is really where you want to go?

Abby: Oh yes! I’ve done a lot of research. We can’t wait!

Conductor: Well then, have a wonderful time.

Abby: See how nice he was? He wasn’t even afraid of us.

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Al: I guess you’re right. This will be a good trip. I’m worn out from that horrible truck ride. Wake me when we get there.

(Al fell asleep almost immediately. Abby cuddled up next to him and was soon asleep too. A while later, the conductor noticed that their breathing had slowed considerably. Afraid of what would happen if they got too cold, he found a large blanket and covered them.)

Abby: Al! Wake up! Look out the window!

Al (mumbling): mmm…why?

Abby: We’re almost there. It’s very pretty.

Al (looking out): Where are we?

Abby: Tennessee, silly. Don’t you remember?

Al: What happened to the ground? It’s not flat.

Abby: I know! The conductor says that the little ones are called hills and the big ones are mountains.

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Al: And the trees look funny. Where are the palms and the cypress trees?

Abby: They don’t have those here.

Al: We better take pictures of it. The other gators will never believe this.

(The train stops and they get off. The sun is hot, and Al relaxes a little. )

Al: So where’s the swamp? I want to bask and warm up a little.

Abby: This is Tennessee. They don’t have swamps. They have rivers.

Al: You didn’t tell me they don’t have swamps.

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Abby (nervously): I didn’t know they didn’t have swamps. I thought there were swamps everywhere, so I didn’t ask.

Al: What’s wrong, Abby?

Abby: Everyone’s staring at us. And I don’t see a single reptile anywhere.

Al: I’m sure they’re staring because you’re so beautiful. Where are we staying?

Abby (pointing): Over there. The Critter Comfort Inn.

(They enter the lobby. The lobby empties and the little opossum behind the desk faints. The gators look around, confused. The manager, a rather large raccoon, comes out. He is accompanied by two large bears.)

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Manager: May I help you?

Abby: Yes, please. We have a reservation. It’s under Al and Abby Gator.

Manager (looking at his computer): Did you register online?

Abby: Yes.

Manager: What did you put down as species?

Abby: Alligator, of course.

Manager (embarrassed): There seems to be a problem with your reservation. It shows the species as “unknown”. The system doesn’t recognize “alligator.” We’ve never had one stay here.

Al (irritated): Is that a problem?

Manager: Unfortunately, it is. We cater to small mammals.

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Al: And you can’t make an exception?

Manager: I’d like to. You seem like nice folks. But like I said, we cater to small mammals. If word got out that we had alligators here, it would ruin our business.

Abby: Why?

Al (sarcastically): Because they think we’re going to eat them.

Manager: I’m sorry. But alligators do have that reputation.

Al: Fine. We’ll take our business elsewhere.

(The gators stalked out without eating anyone. As a gesture of goodwill they left a bag of their favorite treats, Boa Bites. They thought the mammals probably didn’t like snakes either.)

Abby (sobbing): I’m so sorry Al. I had no idea they’d be so specie-ist. They looked so nice in the pictures.

Al: Don’t worry, honey. We’ll hydrate ourselves in one of their rivers and take the next train home.

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Abby: OK. But let’s go out of town. I don’t like it here.

(They found a nice spot with a soft sandy bottom. Neither of them realized that the night air would get as chilly as it did. They were unable to move when they heard a noise.)

Cub: Daddy, what are those?

(The gators looked up to see one of the large bears they had seen earlier at the Comfort Inn.)

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Next time: Dinner Guest or Dinner? The Conclusion

 

All pictures courtesy of Google Images.

 

6

There’s No Place Like Home

 

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Mr. Groundhog was getting ready to build his den for the winter. It had been a warm autumn but cold weather was predicted.

Mr. G: Dear, would you prefer moss or dry leaves to sleep on this winter?

Mrs. G: Sorry, I wasn’t listening. What did you ask?

Mr. G: What type of bedding do you want in the winter den?

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Mrs. G: We don’t need a winter den.

Mr. G: Of course we need a den. If we don’t have one, we’ll freeze to death.

Mrs. G: Don’t you remember? We’re traveling this winter.

Mr. G: We’re groundhogs. We sleep all winter.

Mrs. G: Of course we’ll sleep. We just won’t do it at home.

Mr. G: Have you been eating those old berries? You’re not making sense.

Mrs. G: Didn’t I tell you about den2den? You travel to another state and spend the winter in someone else’s den.

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Mr. G: That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of. Why would I want to sleep in someone else’s den?

Mrs. G: In the spring you get to see a different part of the country.

Mr. G: Great. Foreign grass. Where did you get this wonderful idea?

Mrs. G: From Margaret. Someone told her about it.

Mr. G: Margaret’s crazy, you know. Do I have to listen to her the entire trip?

Mrs. G: As a matter of fact, you don’t.

Mr. G: Are they going somewhere different?

Mrs. G: Actually, they’re not going. Bob said it was a stupid idea and refused to sign up.

Mr. G: I knew I liked Bob. I’m not going either.

Mrs. G: It’s too late. I’ve paid in full. In fact, the shuttle will be here shortly.

(Mr. G grumbles and paces. Before too long he hears wheels.)

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Mrs. G: C’mon dear, it’s time to go. Are you packed?

Mr. G (sarcastically): My spare fur is at the cleaner.

(They sleep for the entire trip.)

Driver: Well, here we are.

Mr. G: Where is here? I’m freezing.

Driver: Not really sure. I just follow the GPS.

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Mr. G: So where is this den?

Driver: Right over there.

(He points to a small opening at the bottom of a hill.)

Mr. G:That doesn’t look like a groundhog den.

(The driver looks at his printout.)

Driver: Says here it belongs to a mole.

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Mr. G: I thought it was den2den. Moles live underground. They don’t have dens.

Driver: Hmmm. Guess there was some kind of mix-up.

Mr. G: So fix it.

Driver: I’m just the driver. You need to talk to your agent.

(Mr. G looks at Mrs. G.)

Mr. G: Who’s our agent?

Mrs. G: I don’t know. I bought the booking from Margaret.

Driver: That’s against the rules. You couldn’t stay here even if you wanted to.

Mr. G (gritting his teeth): So what do we do now?

Driver: Well, let me think.

(He makes a couple of phone calls.)

Driver: The Mouse House and Rodent Inn are both full. You probably don’t want the Fox Den or Eagles’ Nest. How’s the park sound?

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Mr. G: Fine. We’ll make arrangements to get home in the morning.

Mrs: Margaret told me about a great ride service. You call a number and an animal will drive you in his personal vehicle. I think I have the number on my phone.

(Mr. G glares at her.)