27

Blitzen’s Bad Day – Part 2

Christmas Reindeer: What's the Story Behind Santa and Reindeer? - A-Z  Animals

Where we are: Blitzen was injured during his annual physical and is trying to recover in time for Christmas Eve. In the meantime, Santa has asked two back-up reindeer, Chad and Grigor to fill in on training runs. It’s only two weeks until Christmas.

Santa: How are the new guys working out?

Donner: Okay, I guess.

Dasher: There’s something about Chad that makes me nervous.

Why Is Rudolph the Red-Nosed 'Reindeer' Actually a White-Tailed Deer?

Prancer: Yeah. He’s always making weird jokes about Blitzen

Donner: He’s acting like he’s already replaced Blitzen.

Santa: It’s probably just nerves. How’s Grigor doing?

Dasher: That kid has no sense of direction. It’s good thing he’d be at the back of the pack.

Vixen: We were trying to make a run over Canada, but when I looked down it was Finland.

40 Reindeer Facts More Than Just About Rudolph - Facts.net

Comet: He mixed up Lapland and Latvia too.

Cupid: At least those are close to each other.

Santa: Which one do you think would be the better team member?

The reindeer looked at each other. 

Donner: I want Blitzen back. How’s he doing?

Premium AI Image | a reindeer laying down in a field with mountains in the  background

Santa: I was over there yesterday. He’s working hard, but I just don’t think he’s going to be in shape.

Donner: I definitely don’t want to fly with Chad. I think he’s part of the reason Blitzen wasn’t in top form at his physical.

Comet: I agree. Chad and his buddies party a lot. I don’t think he’s a good fit for the team.

Dasher: When are you going to make your decision Santa?

Santa: If Blitzen can’t join the team by the end of the week, I’m going to have to replace him.

Reindeer running through eastern Iceland : r/wildlifephotography

Meanwhile, Blitzen is working hard to regain his strength. His wife Aurora was helping him train. They were working with an old doctor Blitzen had known for years.

Blitzen: It’s no good. The doctor told  me that I needed to start running, but I’m still limping. I’m never going to be able to fly in time.

Aurora: Maybe you should just rest and let it heal. There’s always next year.

Blitzen: You know Chad. If he gets my place this year, he’s not going to give it back.

Aurora: You can win it back from him. You’ve got the experience.

Blitzen: It’s not that easy. Dr. Mika, there must be something you can do.

Dr. Mika: You’re healing well. These things just take time.

Blitzen: I don’t have time. Don’t you have any special tricks to help me?

10 Festive Facts About Reindeer - The National Wildlife Federation Blog

The doctor hesitated. Blitzen looked desperate. They had been friends for many years.

Dr. Mika: I do have one idea.

Blitzen: What is it? I’ll do anything.

Dr. Mika: I have a friend. Actually, he’s an associate. His approach to medicine is a little unorthodox. Are you willing to try something different?

Blitzen: I’m desperate.

Dr. Mika said that they would have to take a walk in the woods. Blitzen and Aurora followed Dr. Mika; Blitzen was visibly limping after a few steps. Eventually they came to a clearing.

Dr. Mika: Do you believe in Christmas magic?

Blitzen: Of course I do. I’m one of Santa’s reindeer.

Community Post: 25 Animals Who Think They're People | Funny animals, Bear,  Cute animals

Aurora nodded. Dr. Mika told them to close their eyes. When they opened them, there was a very large bear standing in front of them. He was holding something in his paws. Aurora was terrified.

Aurora: Is he going to eat us?

Dr. Mika: Of course not. This is Rolfe. He’s here to help.

Rolfe: Greetings. Do you believe in magic?

They both silently nodded.

Rolfe: Apply this medicine to your bad leg three times, and you will be healed.

Rolfe dropped a bundle of herbs at Blitzen’s feet, waved, and disappeared into the woods. He was gone before Blitzen had a chance to thank him. Dr. Mika picked up the herbs and led Blitzen and Aurora home.

Santa Claus Reindeer - All You Need to Know BEFORE You Go (with Photos)

Blitzen: What is that stuff?

Dr. Mika: Special medicine to fix your leg. But it will only work if you truly believe. Are you ready?

Blitzen: Ready.

Dr. Mika boiled some of the herbs and applied them to Blitzen’s leg. He could feel warmth spreading through his body.

Blitzen: I think it’s working! I can feel it.

Dr. Mika: That’s a good sign. I’ll be back tomorrow to apply it again.

After the third treatment, Blitzen felt good enough to go see Santa.

10 Festive Reindeer Facts – San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance Stories

Santa: Blitzen! You’re not limping! Can you fly and land?

Blitzen: Let’s find out.

They headed out to the practice field. All of the other reindeer were there. They ran up to Blitzen and welcomed him back. Blitzen took a running start and glided up into the air. He sailed past the toy factory and gently landed in the field on the other side.

Donner: You did it! You’re back!

Comet: That’s amazing! I didn’t think you’d be back this year.

Chad: Congrats, bro. Guess you get your job back.

Santa: Yes, you do. Let’s get to work! Christmas is in three days.

Premium Vector | Draw cat meowy christmas for new year and merry christmas

Pictures courtesy of Google Images. 

19

Blitzen’s Bad Day

Santa, reindeer granted permit to enter US on Christmas Eve

In late November, Santa had a meeting with his reindeer.

Santa: Hello everyone. As you know, it’s only a few weeks until Christmas. It’s time to start intensive training to make sure everyone’s ready for the big night. You’ve all been doing the job for a long time, so I don’t expect any issues. First thing are the physicals to make sure you’re ready to fly. First up is Blitzen.

Truthfully, Blitzen wasn’t feeling particularly well that morning. He’d been out with his brother-in-law Chad the night before, and Chad had talked him into eating a few too many spiced cranberries.

Premium AI Image | a white reindeer laying down in the grass

Blitzen: Santa, could someone else go first? I don’t feel well.

Santa: Don’t be silly, Blitzen. You’ve known about this for weeks. If you don’t pass the physical, you can’t start training.

There was a small grouph of reindeer at the edge of the group who were listening closely. They were the alternates in case something happened to one of the regulars. Chad was in the group. He said something to the others, and they snickered. Santa looked over, and they quieted down.

Blitzen: Please, Santa? Just let someone else go first.

photos of reindeer jumping - Google Search | Meet santa, Oakland museum, Francisco

Santa: All right. Comet, get on the scale.

Comet climbed on the scale.

Doctor: Perfect! Same as last year. Let’s see you run the obstacle course.

Comet gracefully ran around the pylons and jumped over the hurdles.

Doctor: Excellent! Last test. Take a running start, and fly over that group of buildings. (The doctor pointed at the complex where the elves assembled the toys.)

Comet: Sure thing, doc.

Comet glided easily over the workshops and landed in a field on the other side.

Doctor: Congratulations! You’re cleared for training.

The Reindeer Games - JSTOR Daily

One by one, the other reindeer on the team passed the exams and were cleared for Christmas training.

Doctor: Blitzen, it’s your turn.

Blitzen walked over to the scale:

Doctor: Hmm. You seem a little bloated. You might want to lose a few pounds over the next few weeks.

Chad and his friends started snickering. Blitzen was mortified. He had been going out quite a bit with Chad lately, but he hadn’t realized it was affecting his weight. 

Doctor: Now the obstacle course.

The Best Places to See Reindeer Around the World | Travel| Smithsonian Magazine

Blitzen took a deep breath and started running. He knew it wasn’t going as well as usual, but he hoped it was going to be good enough. He clipped the last pylon as he was going around it, and it broke his stride. He tripped on the final hurdle. It was humiliating. He went back to the doctor with his head hanging.

Doctor: Blitzen, you’ve been doing this for years. What’s the problem?

Blitzen: I think I ate something bad last night. I really don’t feel well.

Doctor: Okay. As long as you pass they flying, I’ll clear you for the training. But you’ll need to do some extra work to get that weight off.

Blitzen: Absolutely. Here I go.

Closeup of a reindeer lying on snowy ground at Svalbard, Norway Stock Photo  by wirestock

Unfortunately, Blitzen didn’t realize that he had hurt his leg on on the hurdle. He didn’t have any problem with the flying, but he landed hard and stumbled down. The other reindeer flew to him.. His partner, Donner, got there first.

Donner: Buddy, are you okay?

Blitzen: Yeah. Just give me a minute.

But when he tried to stand up, he couldn’t put any weight on his back right hoof. He immediately fell back down. The doctor examined Blitzen carefully and then talked to Santa.

Doctor: I don’t think it’s broken, but it’s very swollen.

Santa: How long will he be injured?

Doctor: It’s hard to say. But at least a couple of weeks. Maybe longer.

The Very Real Reindeer and How They Became Associated With Christmas

Santa: Will he be able to pull the sleigh?

Doctor: Not without a little Christmas magic.

Santa: Hmm. I’m not sure we can count on that. I should probably train a replacement just in case.

They put Blitzen on a sled and took him home. Then Santa spoke to the other reindeer.

Santa: We’re not sure whether Blitzen will be able to pull the sleigh on Christmas Eve. But even if we do find some Christmas magic for that, we still need a replacement for the training exercises. Chad and Grigor, you’re the top alternates. You’ll be competing for the spot, if it does open up.

Chad and Grigor looked at each other and grinned.

Next week: Will Blitzen find his Christmas magic?

Two reindeer in the snow : r/ReindeerPictures

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

15

Show and Tell Surprise – Conclusion

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Where we are: Ms. Beaver’s elementary school class is going to have its first Show and Tell. Mike Moose has told his friends that he has a great idea about what he’s bringing, but he really doesn’t have any ideas. You can read Part 1 here.

Mike got home without any ideas coming to mind.

Mom: Hi, sweetie. How was school?

Mike (gloomily): It was terrible. We couldn’t go outside today, and everyone was really bored. Then Ms. Beaver said that we would have Show and Tell tomorrow to make it better.

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Mom: That’s not so bad. At least you’ll have a better day tomorrow.

Mike: Not really. I want to take something awesome. But I don’t have anything awesome.

Mom: What do you think is awesome?

Mike: I don’t know. Just something that no one else has.

Mike’s mom thought for a few minutes. Then she made a suggestion that Mike really liked. He was excited the next day when he went to school and could hardly wait for Show and Tell. Finally, it was time.

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Ms. Beaver: It’s time for Show and Tell. Who would like to go first?

Everyone raised their hand. Ms. Beaver decided that the only fair way would be to go around the room. The children each showed their item. There were favorite books, pictures of gardens, favorite toys, and a few other things. Finally, it was Mike’s turn.

Mike: I had a lot of trouble deciding what to bring today. Finally, my mom made a really good suggestion. I’d like to introduce you to my grandmother, Joanie Moose.

The children started to giggle. Why would he bring in his grandmother? Was she supposed to be the great idea?

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Joanie: Hello, children. I bet you’re wondering what’s so special about me, aren’t you?

Egbert Bear: No offense intended. We were just wondering why Mike would bring in his grandmother.

Joanie: Mike thought that you might enjoy a story that I have to tell about when I was a young moose.

The children quieted down and listened.

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Joanie: When I was a young moose, I met one of Santa’s reindeer. He wasn’t one of the famous ones. Julius was one of the backups in case someone got sick on Christmas Eve. We went out a few times and had really liked each other.

Finally, he asked me to come home with him and meet Santa and the other reindeer. You can imagine how excited I was. Santa was really nice, just like you hear in the stories. And the reindeer were all kind. It was a wonderful trip.

At the end, Julius asked me to stay with him at the North Pole. I thought about it, but decided that I wanted to be at home with my family. So, I came back down here to Northland. I met Mike’s grandfather and had a wonderful family. But once in a while I think about my visit to the North Pole.

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The children were enthralled. She had met Santa! They asked her a lot of questions until Ms. Beaver said it was time to get back to work, and Joanie went home. After school, the children were still talking about it.

Egbert: Okay, I was wrong. You did have the best Show and Tell.

Joey Hare: Yeah. That was amazing. Maybe sometime we could come over to your house and talk to her some more.

Mike: Maybe. She would probably like that.

The children were still talking about Joanie for several days after that.

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Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

 

28

2018 Animal Olympics – Week 2

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Riki T. Tavi here. Welcome to our summary of the second and final week of the 2018 Animal Olympics. Of course, the big surprise this week was the withdrawal of the highly favored reindeer team from the Sleigh Pull.

Rumors have swirled that members of the team failed a drug test. The truth is that the “failed” test was a pregnancy test. Roxy, the leader of the team, is going to have a calf in the spring. Animal Olympic rules prohibit participation of pregnant athletes due to the possibility of being kicked.

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The Dall Sheep had their appeal over the conditions of the ski slope rejected, so the standings are unchanged.

The week was full of surprises. Now on to our commentators.

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Harold Hare – Cross Country Tracking

The non-carnivore competition was a real disappointment. First, only four teams qualified for the race. Of course, the snowshoe hares were brilliant in finding the food we had distributed on the track. The beavers fell asleep and missed the race entirely. The squirrel team was fun to watch although their constant playing on the track was somewhat of a distraction.

Gold: Snowshoe Hares; Silver: Squirrels; Bronze: Mice.

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The carnivore competition was much more intense. Generally, the field is all mammals. The birds prefer to compete in the Raptor Grab. However, this year the arctic owls decided to enter the tracking hunt. With nests on the ground and their outstanding hunting skills, they were sure to be a threat.

The arctic foxes weren’t intimidated. They had inspected the field closely and were confident of their abilities. The wolverines had edged the wolves in the semi-finals to get the last spot in the finals.

It was a good fight. Unfortunately for the owls, one of their players got side-tracked by some non-competition prey and was eliminated for leaving the track.

Gold: Arctic Foxes; Silver: Wolverines; Bronze: Arctic Owls.

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Bruno Brown Bear – Ice Hockey

In recent years, the sport has been dominated by the bears. A combination of intelligence and strength has been the key. But this year there was a surprising new challenger. The dogs decided to enter a team of border collies.

The bear teams weren’t concerned. Who ever heard of dogs on ice? They concentrated on their usual threats, the otters and the seals. Both teams were fast, with plenty of experience moving chunks of ice.

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Fans were stunned when the border collies beat the black bears in the semi-finals. The dogs were fast learners and agile on the ice. The final four teams were the brown bears/grizzlies, seals, polar bears, and collies. The match-up between the brown bears and the seals wasn’t close, with the bears winning 6-0.

In the other game, it appears that the polar bears may have gotten a little over-confident. The collies took them to double-overtime and finally won, 2-1. So it was brown bears v. collies for the gold and silver, and seals v. polar bears for the bronze.

Gold: Brown Bears/Grizzlies; Silver: Border Collies; Bronze: Polar Bears.

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Arnie Kestrel – Raptor Grab

As usual, the Raptor Grab was an intense competition. The rules state that the contestants can only score with specially marked fish. However, there is nothing in the rules about taking another competitor’s fish before crossing the line.

A new member of the arctic owl team repeatedly brought back ineligible fish, leaving the team out of the finals. The bald eagles were eliminated when two of their team members lost fish in fights.

The finalists were the red-tailed hawks, the snowy owls, and the golden eagles.

Gold: Snowy Owls; Silver: Golden Eagles; Bronze: Red-Tailed Hawks.

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Rodney Reindeer – Sleigh Pull

As Riki said earlier, the favored reindeer team withdrew at the beginning of the week. As a result, we saw some different competitors joining the now-favored moose in the finals.

The sled dogs decided to field a team this year. Traditionally a strong competitor in the race, the dogs have been sitting out a suspension following that unfortunate incident in 2010. That team turned over the sleigh, but continued to run for a distance. The bears riding inside were dragged along with the sleigh. Once the bears and the dogs were released, there was a terrible fight.

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The final place was taken by the horse team. The horses fielded a good team, but their lack of experience at an elite level showed. It turned into a showdown between the moose and the sled dogs. The dogs had an emotional edge, trying to redeem their reputation. They edged the moose by less than a second.

Gold: Sled Dogs; Silver: Moose; Bronze: Horses.

It’s Riki again. I hope you enjoyed our coverage of the 2018 Animal Olympics. We hope to see you in 2022 when we’ll be covering the Winter Animal Olympics in Beijing.

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18

2018 Animal Olympics – Week 1

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Riki T. Tavi here. Welcome to our summary of the first week of the 2018 Animal Olympics. It’s been an exciting week here. We’ve had thrills and a few surprises. It’s been truly heartwarming to see the carnivores and non-carnivores competing against each other in peaceful surroundings. Now I’ll turn you over to our commentators.

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Margaret Malamute – Freestyle Skiing

Since no equipment is allowed in competition, this event has always been dominated by animals who could run down the hill the fastest. The last three winners were the Dall sheep team. However, this year the seals challenged the definition of “upright”. They argued that upright for them was on their bellies. After much consideration, the Olympic Committee agreed with their argument.

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So the finalists were the Dall Sheep, the reindeer and the seals. The favored sheep ran into a problem almost immediately when one of their runners hit a patch of ice and skidded off the trail. The seals were next. Being their first Olympics, the form was not great. But their speed made up for it. The reindeer were last. They were under pressure to beat the seals using traditional methods. It came down to the last runner, but in the end the reindeer triumphed.

Gold: Reindeer; Silver: Seals; Bronze: Sheep. The sheep plan a challenge based on the conditions of the slope.

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Edie Ermine – Freestyle Sledding

In a somewhat surprising turn of events, the seals did not qualify for the finals. The likely explanation is that they spent extra time working on the skiing skills and not enough on the sledding. Regardless, the finalists were the ermine, the penguins, and (surprisingly) the polar bears. The polar bears entered the competition on a dare and were expected to finish at the bottom of the pack.

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The ermine went first, displaying their flawless beauty in the event. The scores were good, but not great. Definitely room for the other teams to score higher. The penguins, apparently sensing victory, were a little careless in their takeoffs and barely edged the ermine. The polar bears went last. Their form was unusual, to say the least. They sat on their butts and held their feet up. Since the only requirement is that competitors maintain the same position from top to bottom, it was an acceptable position. The bears were not attractive going down the hills, but it’s a speed contest.

Gold: Polar Bears; Silver: Penguins; Bronze: Ermine

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Penelope Penguin – Luge

The Luge didn’t really hold many surprises. This fan favorite is a test of speed not form. The sides of the track are expandable so all the animals use the same track.The finalists were the penguins, the polar bears, and the otters. All three teams are experienced, and all performed well. Some minors errors on the track made the difference.

Gold: Otters; Silver: Penguins; Bronze: Polar Bears

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Oscar Otter – Underwater Relay

The otters have been dominant in this event for many years. Swimming quickly around and through posts and rings seems second nature to them. The only real question here was who would get silver and bronze. The finalists were the otters, the penguins, and the seals. The penguins were faster than the seals, but the seals missed fewer obstacles. In a very close finish, the seals beat out the penguins for silver.

Gold: Otters; Silver: Seals; Bronze: Penguins

It’s Riki again. Hopefully, you’ve been watching the actual events online at cheeseland.anm/olympics. Please join us next week for our summary of the remaining events.

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All pictures courtesy of Google Images

15

2018 Animal Olympics Coverage Team

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It’s almost time for the Winter Animal Olympics in Pyeongchang, South Korea. We noticed that the humans put out an announcement introducing their coverage team. We decided that would be a good idea, so here they are:

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General Coordination and Coverage – Riki T. Tavi (mongoose) – our Asian Correspondent

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Interpreters  – Lexi (German Shepard) and Yuma Cho (Raccoon Dog) – you may remember Lexi as the ace translator we discovered during the cat food crisis a couple of months ago.

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Cross-Country Tracking – Harold Hare – member of the gold medal-winning 2014 Snowshoe Hare team.

What it is: Teams compete to see who can locate the most food on a prepared track. There are separate events for carnivores and non-carnivores.

Favorites: badgers, hares, wolverines

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Freestyle Skiing – Margaret Malamute – member of the 2014 Olympic Mixed Sled-Dog Team

What it is: Teams compete for a combined score based on how quickly its members get down the mountain. The skier must remain upright and no equipment is allowed.

Favorites: Dall sheep, reindeer

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Freestyle Sledding – Edie Ermine – gold medalist, 2014

What it is: Teams are scored on how quickly its members are able to get down the mountain in the same position (back, front, sitting).

Favorites: ermine, seals, penguins

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Ice Hockey – Bruno Brown Bear – member of the 2014 Brown/Grizzly Team

What it is: Teams compete to see how many chunks of ice they can get into their opponents goal. Players will be ejected for drawing blood on an opposing team member.

Favorites: polar bears, black bears

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Luge – Penelope Penguin – silver medalist, 2014

What it is: Teams are scored on how quickly its members can get down an iced track on their backs

Favorites:  penguins, polar bears

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Raptor Grab – Arnie, member of the 2014 American Kestrel team

What it is: Teams compete to collect the largest number of fish in the shortest period of time. Points are deducted for bringing back game not marked with the Olympic. Participants are disqualified for bringing back prey that is not a fish.

Favorites: Red-Tailed Hawks, Golden Eagles

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Sleigh Pull – Rodney Reindeer, gold medalist in 2014

What it is: Teams of four animals compete to pull a sleigh of two (friendly) adult black bears. Participants are disqualified for tipping the sleigh over. Note: bears may not be as friendly at this point.

Favorites: caribou/reindeer, moose

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Underwater Relay – Oscar Otter, bronze medalist 2014

What it is: Teams of four animals compete to finish a circular obstacle course underwater with each member completing one quarter of the circuit. The winner is the fastest team with the fewest missed obstacles.

Favorites: otters, seals

We animals don’t tell time like the humans do. So just remember that all of the competitions will be during the day. But when it’s daytime in South Korea. So you might just want to set some kind of recording device or leave the channel on all the time.

See you in February!

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11

Job Application for Santa’s Reindeer

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Tony saw the poster announcing tryouts for Santa’s Sled Team. Tony came from a long line of sled reindeer going back to Blitzen and was eager to take his turn. He wrote down the web address for the application and went home to complete it.

When he opened the application, he was surprised by the length. As he read through it, he wasn’t sure he would make it after all. Or if he wanted to.

Application for Seasonal Employment

Santa’s Reindeer

Job Description: Work as a team member of an eight reindeer group to pull Santa’s sleigh on Christmas Eve.

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General Requirements:

  • Ability to fly long distances at a consistent speed
  • Ability to make frequent short stops for an extended period of time
  • Ability to haul large cargo for long distances
  • Ability to work in a close, team-oriented environment
  • Ability to work in stressful environment
  • Ability to be flexible
  • Working knowledge of GPS preferred
  • Prior package delivery experience preferred

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Physical Requirements

  • Antlers must have sloughed for season
  • Hooves must be tough enough to stop quickly on icy roofs
  • Must be between 75-80 inches long
  • Must weigh between 350-400 pounds
  • May not be pregnant
  • Must be able to train for at least 12 hours/day without physical collapse

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Please note: Santa’s workshop is a drug-free environment and you will be required to pass random drug tests as well as a pre-employment screening. Additionally, all applicants will be required to pass a physical exam prior to hire.

Name:

Address:

Phone Number (home):

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Phone Number (cell):

Email Address:

Preferred method of contact:

Why do you want to be one of Santa’s reindeer (200 words or less)?

Why do you think you would be a better candidate than other reindeer (200 words or less)?

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Describe any previous experience in a related field.

Do you have any relatives currently working for Santa?

Do you have any relatives who have worked for Santa in the past?

Are you currently under contract with the Easter Bunny?

Date Available:

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Thank you for your interest in being one of Santa’s reindeer. If you are chosen for an interview, you will be contacted. Please do not call our office.

Santa’s Workshop is and equal opportunity employer and does not discriminate based on species, gender or age.

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