The RHCCC: Valentine’s Dance

February 12, 2022 | cat9984

Valentine's Day 2022 pet spending: You won't believe what we'll shell out for our dogs and cats | Fox Business

It’s been a while since we checked in with the ladies who make up the Real House Cats of Crabapple Cove (RHCCC). They are all looking forward to the big Valentine’s Day party thrown annually by the Loyal Order of the Saber Tooth Tiger. Everyone except Bella, that is.

Bella: I think I’m going to skip the party this year. I’m not really in the mood.

Fluffy: You have to go! We already paid for the table.

Miki: Yeah. We always go together. It’s a tradition.

Bella: I know. But I don;t have a date. I don;t want to be the only single kitty at the Valentine’s party. It’s too depressing.

What is Kitten Season?

Daphne: What happened to that guy you were seeing? Jack?

Bella: I had to dump him. Turns out he had two other girlfriends. And one has kittens.

Fluffy: The two-timing rat! I knew he was no good! The ones that seem to good to be true are always trouble. I’m sorry, sweetie.

Bella: It’s OK. But I don’t feel much like partying.

Miki: Do you want Ralph to get one of his friends to join us? He knows some nice guys.

Bella: Thanks. But I don’t think so.

Fluffy: I’m on the organizing committee, so I’ll be pretty busy. If I don’t bring a date, will you come?

Bella (hesitating): I guess.

How to Throw a Birthday Party for Your Cat - Catster

Miki (clapping her paws): Pawsome! We’ll have a great time!

Bella arrived at the party early and helped Fluffy get things set up. Before long, Miki and Daphne showed up with their husbands. Daphne’s husband Sam was grumbling.

Sam: I don’t understand why they call this a party. It’s a dinner. They only call it a party so they can charge more.They don’t even have an open catnip bar.

Miki: I told you. The Saber Tooth TIgers only have one fundraiser every year, and they don’t want a bunch of stoned cats getting into fights.

Daphne (laughing): Ignore him. He’s just grumpy because the kids were teasing him about his fur.

Hair kitty kitty kitty - meet the world's fluffiest cat - Daily Star

Ralph: You are looking extra fluffy tonight.

Sam: Yeah. Daphne talked me into going to the groomer today. She went wild on the blow-out.

Daphne: Well, I think you look adorable. And isn’t that what matters?

Sam: I guess. I’ll just avoid the mirrors.

Fluffy came up with a tray of niptinis.

Top 10 Wine Loving Cats At Wine O'Clock

Fluffy: Enjoy, everyone! Gunther makes the best niptinis in town.

The others began lapping up the drinks and talking. Before long, it was time for dinner. The food was wonderful – a seafood buffet with various greens. After the food, there was dancing.

Fluffy was mingling. She was a very social cat and loved big parties. She knew everyone and was having a great time.

Daphne and Sam got up to dance as soon as the music started. Miki didn’t want to leave Bella at the table by herself, so she and Ralph stayed around to talk. But the loud music made it difficult to hold a conversation.

Does Your Cat Beg at the Dinner Table? - The Conscious Cat

Bella: You guys go ahead and dance. I can’t even hear myself think in here. I’ll go see if I can help with something.

Miki and Ralph left the table. Bella looked around. She didn’t really know anyone working. She had just followed Fluffy around earlier.

Finally, Bella decided that she wanted some tuna juice. She went up to the bar and said hello to Gunther. Things were fairly quiet at the bar.

Gunther: What would you like, pretty kitty?

Bella: Tuna juice, please.

Gunther: Anything for your date?

Bella looked around, confused.

Bella: I don’t have a date.

How Do Cats Communicate with Each Other?

Gunther: Good. I was just making sure before I asked if I could join you for a drink. I’m going on break, and I’d like to spend it with you. I’ve been watching you ever since Fluffy introduced us.

Bella was flattered, but nervous. She was a quiet, shy cat and not used to this type of attention.

Bella: I guess so.

They sat near the bar and sipped tuna juice.

Bella: Crabapple Cove is a small place. I don’t remember seeing you around. Are you visiting someone?

cat-typing | odd letters

Gunther: Actually, I moved up her to write the Great American Cat novel. I made a bunch of money in New York, and then relocated.

Bella: Really? I work at the library, and I love reading. That’s wonderful! Very impressive.

Gunther (laughing): Not yet. All I have so far is the idea and the outline.

Bella: I’m still impressed. I never met a novelist before. Why are you here tonight?

Gunther: I ran into your friend Fluffy at the meat market. She told me about the party and convinced me to come help. She’s very persuasive.

Bella (laughing): She usually gets what she wants.

Gunther: I’m glad I came. I don’t know many folks, and it’s been great meeting everyone. And I got to meet you.

Bella blushed under her fur.

Cat Cafés, Library Cats and Museum Cats – Oh My! – Columbus EMP

Bella: Well, I’m sure I’m the least interesting cat here.

Gunther: I don’t believe that. Tell me about yourself.

Bella talked about the library and her daycare. They had just started talking about books when Gunther was called back to the bar.

Gunther: That was fun. I’d like to talk some more. Can I take you home after the party?

Bella: I’d like that.

Bella went back to her table and watched the dancing. When the party finally ended, Gunther escorted Bella home. And he was a purr-fect gentleman.

cats-cuddling-big - Pet Haven of Minnesota

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

Yak Express: Not Living Up to Its Name

February 5, 2022 | cat9984

Snoops and Kommando here. This story was written by our cousins Thunder and Onyx with the help of their human. Hope you enjoy it. (It actually explains a lot.)

Since a horrible illness took over the world, cat consumables have been hard to come by. From luxuries such as catnip and heated blankets, to basics such as canned chicken and kitty kibble, nothing was safe from the shortages that had befallen Cattusville. To compile the issue, all humans had been stressed to the max, which made home cuddles and attention dwindle to an unacceptable rate. After some investigating, the cats of Cattusville discover that the holdup on goods has nothing to do with human error, and everything to do with the transportation yaks that swam across the ocean to deliver goods from one country to another. This frustrates the felines, who are now in the midst of discussing this horrible issue.

Jolene– What a horrible day! I just spent 20 minutes in line at CatMart. All for 7 items! I’m about to stop shopping there and try Furrs. They’re a bit pricier, but I hear their customer service is on point.

Bonnie– Speaking of pricier, I noticed even at Bargain Felines, their prices skyrocketed. A can of tuna used to cost a dollar- I just spent two dollars, and I swear there was less juice in it than usual!

Saran Wrap– at least you can find tuna! I’ve been to three different stores, and still am missing half my shopping list. I can’t find silver vine anywhere. And there was only one catnip plant available in the city, and it looked horrendous. Almost like a dog had been nibbling on it! *The cats all shuddered.* I’m about to just use my human’s credit card and order everything online! At least then I’m guaranteed to get something!

Cookie– You know what the real issue is, right? It isn’t a lack of servants, or less fish available to catch and sell; it’s the transport yaks.

Tailor-made Nepal, Tibet & Bhutan Tour | Enchanting Travels

Jolene– Transport yaks? What on earth are transport yaks?

Bonnie– Yeah, I just assumed humans were being lazy and not putting things on shelves for me to purchase. And that they raised the prices to get more for less.

Saran Wrap– Isn’t a yak a big, scary creature? I saw a photo of one once. It didn’t look friendly, or very tasty. The only benefit I saw to it was the fur, which would make a wonderful blanket.

Cookie– Well, yes, yaks are bigger than us. And I’m not sure if they’re friendly- I’ve never actually met one. But they’re the reason we’re having issues buying our items. Our whole country relies on their services. And there’s been so much demand lately, our yaks aren’t able to keep up with it.

Jolene– I’m not sure how a big, scary blanket is supposed to be in charge of our economy and buying. Don’t the humans just say, “hey, we need this”, and it magically appears?

Bonnie– That sounds about right.

Cookie– No, that isn’t how it works. You see, Cattusville gets a lot of their marketables from different countries, such as Katzenlot, or Gatomanor.

Saran Wrap– But those countries are so far away! Like, 20 nap times away!

Cookie– Exactly! We cats have much better things to do with our time, so we contract yaks to swim across the ocean and deliver our goods. But because of the hoarding that the illness caused, Cattusville keeps demanding more and more items from everywhere else. So then more and more yaks get sent to swim to us. But the shore can only process a couple of yaks at a time, no matter what the demand is. So the extra yaks get stuck at sea, waiting to drop their load. However, by the time the water-logged yaks make it to shore, it might have been months. This naturally makes the yaks very grumpy, so they are slow in letting the humans remove the load from them. Then, they take a couple of weeks to relax before swimming back to their native country. But that takes up space on our shore, so that slows down the process even more.

Jolene– Wow, how awful. Thank goodness we’re not yaks! *The others nod in agreement*

Himalayan Yak & Yak Products in Nepal | Visit Nepal 2020 | Bookingsansar

Cookie- But that’s not all. Some yaks get so upset at the wait, that they turn around and head back to their native shore. That delays our shipments even more.

Bonnie– Oh, no! I know they’re not treated well. But that doesn’t seem fair to us, either.

Cookie– Well, it’s really not. But can you blame them?

Saran Wrap– I can’t blame them at all. I thought I had seen a report on RabbitNews, saying that some yaks had not only returned to shore, but were so disgusted by working conditions, that they’re refusing to work until things get better. Some were even considering hibernating, just to make a point. I had just assumed it was fake news, since there’s so much of that nowadays.

Cookie– I saw that report as well. Sadly, it is very true.

Jolene– Wow. I never knew all of this.

Bonnie– Yeah. Now I feel bad about hissing at my human for bringing home beef treats instead of turkey. The yaks probably haven’t had a chance to deliver the turkey treats yet.

Lolcats - scratching post - LOL at Funny Cat Memes - Funny cat pictures with words on them - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny cat pictures with words

Saran Wrap– And I guess I should stop mewling about the raise of price in scratching posts. Those can’t be easy to transport, and the yaks do deserve extra compensation for doing such a hard job.

Cookie– It doesn’t make it less frustrating, but at least you now know the root of the issue. But, enough talk about yaks. Who wants to find a nice sun spot to lounge in for the next three hours?

The other cats run off with Cookie, eager to stop talking about yaks and lounge in the sun. Even with as evil as the world illness has been, at least it hasn’t stolen the sunspots- at least, not yet.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

Cat Forum: Growing Premium Catnip

January 29, 2022 | cat9984

How Does Catnip Work Its Magic on Cats? - Scientific American

Greetings from Snoops and Kommando Kitty. We have returned with a special edition of Cat Forum. Last week, we were bemoaning the lack of things to do during the winter. This week we have a project for your humans to help you with. What could be more exciting that having your own catnip plant/patch?

Who likes memes? Want to win a tester kit or a bag of a blend of you choice? | catablissblog

Catnip’s official name is Nepeta cataria. It’s related to mint and lemon balm, and is very easy to grow an maintain. Unfortunately, it can be toxic to cats in large quantities. So if you (or a loved one) tend to overindulge, you will want to grow it in a protected area. We recommend that you have your human do the work while you supervise.

How to grow catnip from seed to harvest

Growing Catnip Indoors

It must receive as much direct sunlight as possible. It prefers up to five hours a day. (Plant lights are a possibility if you live someplace that doesn’t get that much direct sun.)
It likes the temperature to be between 55-85 degrees Fahrenheit. And like us, it doesn’t like really hot, humid conditions.
Catnip prefers to be in soil with average-medium moisture. Don’t keep the soil wet – that can lead to root rot. Don’t panic if it wilts, it will recover.
Feed it with weak organic liquid fertilizer every couple of weeks.
Cut off budding stems before they bloom. For the average gardener, keep the plant trimmed to a height of 6 inches. You’re looking for a bushy, leafy plant. (It can grow up to 2 feet tall if your human is talented.)
The pot needs to be at least 8 inches wide and 8 inches deep with drainage holes. Use potting soil for best results.

Let's plant catnip in the garden they said. It prevents mosquitos they said. what could go wrong they said. : r/funny

Growing the Most Potent Catnip

If you want really high-grade catnip, you need to grow it outside. You need sandy soil. Your human may also want to consider burying pots of it rather than just spreading the seeds, because it is what humans call “invasive.” (We’re really not sure what’s wrong with having a yard full of catnip, but apparently it bothers some humans.)

Here’s the recipe for top-notch catnip straight from the University of Maryland:

Plant the seeds 1/8″ deep in 10-inch pots filled with a mixture of coarse river sand, moist sphagnum peat moss, and sterilized loam (include 4 tablespoons of dolomitic lime for every gallon of the mixture.) Germinate for 10-20 days at 61-74 degrees Fahrenheit.
Water until water runs out of the pots. Spray the soil 3-4 times per day to keep it moist. (Outside it will require the equivalent of 1 inch of rain per week.)
Dig holes 12-18 inches apart for each pot after the frost has passed.
Thin the seedlings so only the healthiest ones remain.
Place tomato cages around the seedlings to prevent animals from digging them out.
Watch for webbing on the bottom of leaves (a sign of spider mites). Remove spider mites with spray from a water hose.
Pinch back the shoot tips to create thick plants. Cut the main stem to 1 inch above ground after each bloom. Pinch off spent flower heads to inhibit the spread of seeds.
Pull off the leaves from the cut stems or pinch them from the growing plant. Dry in a paper bag for 1-2 weeks before using.

Catnip Buds Field Close Up | Catnip, Field, Fields

What is the most potent part of the plant?

The active ingredient in catnip (Nepetalactone) is found in the essential oil. The oil is found mainly in the pistil (the bud). So make sure you have plenty of buds mixed in with your stems and leaves.

Catnip and other feline favorites in the garden

How do we help keep the plants insect- and disease-free?

Remove dead or dried leaves regularly.

Catnip and Its Effect on Cats, Dogs and Humans - Promega Connections

How do we grow bushy catnip plants?

After flowering, cut the plants back to no higher than 3-4 inches above the ground (you can go as low as 1 inch). It will grow back in a couple of weeks.

Is catnip safe for cats?

How long does it take to grow catnip?

Seeds generally sprout within 5-10 days, but may take up to 20 days if you’re planting outside and it’s still chilly. The plants should be thinned to 18 inches apart when they are 2-5 inches high. You can start harvesting after 12-15 weeks.

Can Cats Eat Catnip? Here's What You Should Know About the Herb

Fun Fact – According to one report, catnip is more effective than DEET in repelling mosquitoes. It was shown to be 10x more effective than standard mosquito repellents according to a paper at the 2001 American Chemical Society annual meeting.

Our View of Winter

January 22, 2022 | cat9984

Snoops and Kommando Kitty here. We have been wracking our brains trying to come up with a winter-friendly post. We live in Michigan, where it is cold for several months each year. Usually it’s snowy too. And gray. We’re indoor kitties, so this is not our favorite time of year.

We can’t use our catio:

20+ Photos Proving That Cats and Snow Are Not Meant for Each Other / Bright Side

Cat TV is really bad most of the time:

Cat Standing In The Snow | Know Your Meme

The humans track in snow and cold:

And it gets cold inside sometimes (by our standards):

Baby it's cold outside... Click the Photo For More Adorable and Cute Cat Videos and Photos #cutecats #cats #kittens #catv… | Cute baby cats, Baby cats, Pretty cats

All in all, we really don’t like winter:

44+] Cats in Snow Wallpaper on WallpaperSafari

That said, we know that some cats adapt rather well to the weather. We found a few activities that you might try if you are one of those outdoorsy types.

Playing catch:

Fur Laughs: Watch Funny Cats Versus Snow In Winter [VIDEOS] - CatTime

Building a snow cat:

Live cats pose with neighborhood snow cat - The Columbian

Skiing:

Watch Taddy the Cat Nail Some Nasty Snowboard Tricks - Nerdist

Sledding:

Dog Pulls Cat Around In Sled...And The Cat LOVES It - Videos - The Dodo

Mountain-climbing:

This Alberta cat loves to ski, paddle or 'meow-taineer' with his human | CBC News

We hope that all of you are enjoying your winters. We’re kinda hanging out, getting extra snuggles, and waiting for spring.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images (except us)

Tuesday Morning Catnip Anonymous (CA) Meeting

January 15, 2022 | cat9984

Catnip memes | StareCat.com

Pete was nervous. It was his first time at a CA meeting. He wasn’t even sure he belonged. He was really more of a silver vine guy. He got a cup of tuna juice and sat near the back of the room. There were quite a few cats already waiting. By the time the meeting started, there were almost 20 participants. Pete had no idea there were so many cats with ‘nip problems.

Leader: Welcome, kitties! We’re glad to see so many of you here. A couple of new faces and a couple that we haven’t seen for a bit. Would anyone like to start us off?

Two Cats Cuddling | Holistic Vet and Pet Nutrition Journal

Jonah: Hi, I’m Jonah. And I’m addicted to catnip.

Group: Hi, Jonah!

Jonah: I’ve had a pretty good week. I met a girl named Tina at the fish market. We went for a walk. I think she likes me.

Leader (nodding): That’s great, Jonah! Did you have any nip issues?

Jonah: No, it was great. She never touches the stuff.

No, Cats Should Never Drink Wine or Beer - Catster

Leader: Who’s next?

Sarah: I’m Sarah. And I’m addicted to catnip.

Group: Hi, Sarah!

Sarah: I finally broke up with my boyfriend, Tim. He was a really bad influence. He kept insisting that niptinis weren’t the same as eating catnip. I told him that all catnip is a problem for me. He really isn’t supportive, so I decided to move back home.

The other cats clapped for her.

Is Catnip a Cat Drug? - Meowy Janes

Mel: Hi, I’m Mel and I’m addicted to catnip.

Group: Hi, Mel!

Mel: This is my first time here. I went to a party on Saturday night and woke up under the table. I decided that it was time to get my habit under control.

Leader: Welcome, Mel. We’re here for you. I’ll help you find a mentor and get started on the program. Let’s take a short break.

The leader took Mel aside and introduced him to a couple of other cats. The remaining cats got up and wandered around. A large cat walked up to Pete.

10 Cat Breeds That Are the Most Affectionate

Cat: Hey, I’m Carl. I haven’t seen you here before.

Pete: Hey. I’m Pete. It’s my first time. I’m a little nervous.

Carl: Don’t worry about it. we’ve all been there. What brings you in?

Pete: Honestly, I’m here because I told my wife I’d come. She had a bag of ‘nip that I got into.

Carl: One time? That doesn’t sound so bad.

Pete: That’s what I thought.

Carl: Was it a lot?

9GAG Cute - Cats high on catnip is my favorite thing By... | Facebook

Pete: She got it for a party.

Carl: Oh. A big party?

Pete: It was for a weekend away. It probably wouldn’t have been an issue except I kind of fell asleep in the middle of the table.

Carl: Oh.

Pete: And I might have gotten a little testy when she tried to move me.

Carl: Oh.

Pete: And I got really agitated when I saw some flashing lights. I might have growled a little.

Carl: Oh. But it was just the one time?

Our And Our Neighbor's Cats Found Catnip And Cat.exe Stopped Functioning (30 Pics) | Bored Panda

Pete: Pretty much. Except when we walked past the lady’s garden, and I refused to leave.

Carl: What lady?

Pete: A human in our neighborhood grows catnip for the local cats. She gives it away. I don’t think she minded that I moved in for a couple of days. My wife said I embarrassed her.

Carl: Well, if it was intended for everyone….

Pete: I only stayed a couple of days. She didn’t have any real food. I had to go home to eat. My wife thinks I have a problem.

Can Cats Eat Catnip? Here's What You Should Know About the Herb

Carl: Ummmm.

Pete: I’m not really sure I belong here. Talking about it, I think I just had a couple of bad experiences. I’m really glad I had a chance to talk to you.

Pete finished his juice and left.

Photographer Takes Hilarious Photos of Cats on Catnip

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

Kitty Profiles on Prrrr

January 8, 2022 | cat9984

cats-cuddling-big - Pet Haven of Minnesota

We know a lot of you will be looking for love in the new year, so we thought that we would show you a few of the kitties currently on Prrrr, today’s hottest feline dating site.

Evie

19 Best Cat Toys and Supplies (2021): Scratchers, Window Perches, Etc | WIRED

Life is too short not to love.

Purr Ons: cuddles, sun puddles, fluffy blankets

Purr Offs: baths, wet kisses, vacuums

Bessie

Straw Hat Cat | Know Your Meme

Grab life and roll around it in.

Purr Ons: warm grass, back rubs, good food

Purr Offs: running games, cold rain, head pats

Vivian

Cute Cat posing kitty

Come explore with me.

Purr Ons: long walks, talking, massage

Purr Offs: whining, wet paws, cheap kibble

Finnegan

Hats For Cats

Did you see that?

Purr Ons: adventure, the red dot, fast toys

Purr Offs: rainy days, dirty windows, commitment

Brody

Gravis, Part-Time 8-Bit Toaster on Twitter: "i have felt for many years that there is nothing more satisfying and correct than a cat with a fish in its mouth https://t.co/j3PtIqezVw" / Twitter

I’m an even bigger catch than this fish

Purr Ons: running games, fishing, the red dot

Purr Offs: too much talking, baths, staying inside

Raphael

Young cat posing | Cat pose, Cats, Fur babies

Life is an adventure. Share it with me.

Purr Ons: traveling, talking, cuddling

Purr Offs: loud noises, timid cats, being ignored

Mike

130 Funny Cat Poses ideas | cats, crazy cats, cute cats

Been looking for love in all the wrong places.

Purr Ons: cuddling, massages, chasing the red dot

Purr Offs: being locked in, teases, bad weather

Phinneas

Cool cat | Fancy cats, Hipster cat, Cute baby cow

Chill and enjoy life’s ride

Purr Ons: sun puddles, warm fireplaces, cuddles

Purr Offs: bad fashion, bad moods, bad food

The first 30 days on Prrrr is free. Why not check it out?

Two Cuddling Cats | Cat cuddle, Cats, Cute animals

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

Tips for a Happy New Year

January 1, 2022 | cat9984

Funny Cats "Happy New Years" song - YouTube

Greetings! Snoops and Kommando Kitty here. The humans are starting a new year today. We wanted to find ways to help Mom actually have a happy new year, so we asked Mr. Google. He sure knows a lot of stuff. Too much stuff. It was hard to sort out what might really work. We put together a list and gave it to her. Guess now we have to wait and see what happens.

Kissing Kitties! - 23rd November 2017 - We Love Cats and Kittens

Kiss someone you love at midnight. It’s supposed to make the love last all year. We hate being kissed, but it’s worth it if she’s happy for a year.

Asheville Cat Weirdos launches food pantry to help pet-owners in need

Fill up your wallet and pantry before midnight. It keeps you from being poor and and hungry all year. Mr. Google didn’t say where to get the money to fill up her wallet. Especially after she spent all that money filling up the pantry. But we did notice that we have lots of food and treats, so it sounds good to us.

14+ Memes Clean House - Factory Memes

Don’t clean your house OR clean your house thoroughly. This was one of the places where Mr. Google really confused us. One place said that she shouldn’t clean so she didn’t wash/sweep away any good fortune that was coming her way. But another place said that she should clean thoroughly to sweep away all the bad luck from the past year. We hate the vacuum cleaner, but we hate clutter where we sit, so Mom’s on her own for this one.

Sad Cat Wallpapers - Top Free Sad Cat Backgrounds - WallpaperAccess

Don’t cry. If she cries on New Year’s, it could mean that she will be sad for the rest of the year. We hate it when she’s sad, so this one is really important.

PsBattle: This cat trying to enter a house : r/photoshopbattles

Don’t leave the house until someone else comes in. Mom actually had experience with this one. Her grandmother was from Scotland, and refused to leave the house until a tall, dark-haired man visited with a coin, something to eat, something to drink, and something to warm the house. (Luckily, our grandpa fit the bill so he always first-footed her.) Traditional gifts include coins, bread, salt, coal, and whiskey to ensure prosperity, food, flavor, warmth, and good cheer all year long. We don’t know anyone who fits the bill, so hopefully this one isn’t vital.

Post Cats Eating Weird Things | Bored Panda

Eat black-eyed peas and collard greens. The black-eyed peas bring good luck and the collard greens bring prosperity. We don’t like either one, but she’s also supposed to eat pork (wealth and progress) or herring (good luck) and soba noodles (longevity and prosperity), so she can make a meal of it all and we’ll share the stuff we like.

Cat vs Lobster! A fight between a lobster and three cats recently took place on the bank of Daguan River in Kunming, southwest Chi… | Cats, Cat boarding, Three cats

Don’t eat lobster before midnight. Apparently lobsters move backwards, and eating one too close to the new year might cause the human to have setbacks during the year. We’ve never had a lobster, but they look pretty scary, so not having one in the house is fine.

The Best Vacuums for Pet Hair for 2019

Make lots of noise at midnight to scare away evil spirits and omens. We hate loud noises, but as long as it’s not a vacuum we should be okay. Besides, it sounds like she only needs to do it for a short period of time.

Grapes are his favourite; not to eat but to play with! 😂 : r/CatsBeingCats

We also threw away a few.

Eat exactly 12 grapes at midnight. Each grape is supposed to represent a month of happiness. But she had to be done with the grapes at 12:01. We were afraid she might choke if she tried to eat them that fast. That would be really bad luck.

Open the door just before midnight to let the old year out and the new year in. We think that the year should be smart enough to get here on its own.

Suitcase Cats : Animals and Pets : r/aww

Carry an empty suitcase around. It’s supposed to bring a year of travel and adventure. We don’t like travel at all, so we’re not going to encourage it.

Wear red underwear. Some people think that wearing red underwear on New Year’s will bring romance into their lives. Mom doesn’t need romance; she has us. Besides, we don’t think she should be showing her underwear to other people.

good luck kitty ... | Dog station, Cute cats, Cat memes

Eat vasilopitta (sweet Greek bread) or king cake. The person who finds the coin in either pastry is supposed to have good luck for the year. But first you have to be lucky enough to find the coin. What happens to the rest of the people?

Hogmanay Blessings

While we’re waiting to see if our suggestions work, we want to wish everyone a happy new year. (And those in Scotland, a Happy Hogmanay – end of the old one.)

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

Merry Christmas!!

December 25, 2021 | cat9984

Feliz Navidad

430 Mexican Cat Names – The Ultimate List Of Kitten Name Ideas

Joyeux Noel

Pin on Products

Frohe Weihnachten

100+ German Cat Names: Ideas for Organized & Intelligent Cats - Excited Cats

Felicem Natalem Christi

Mutlu Noeller

Turkey_Pics 🇹🇷 on Twitter | Cats, Beautiful cats, Animals

S Rozhdestvom (С Рождеством)

5 Cat Breeds From Russia

Buon Natale

Mayor Candidate Pledges 500,000 Cats to Rome - english

Hyvaa Joulua

30 Pics Of Finnish Cats Living Their Best Winter Life | Bored Panda

Nollaig Chridheil

Scotland Forever! ICANHASCHEEZEURGER OOM Scotland Forever! - Lolcats - Lol | Cat Memes | Funny Cats | Funny | Cats Meme on ME.ME

Wherever you are, we hope you are having a wonderful day!

Purrs, Snoops and Kommando Kitty

Pictures courtesy of Google Images (except us)

Christmas Carols for Cats by Thunder

December 18, 2021 | cat9984

I Can Has Cheezburger?

Hello! It’s Thunder, and I am so glad to be back! Christmas is one of my favorite holidays (after all, I get lots of yummy food and cool gifts), but I noticed a disturbing trend: the Christmas music humans listen to is just not cat friendly! (I would know- Mom insists on listening to it from the day after Thanksgiving until Christmas is over.) So, I went through and rewrote the lyrics to some well known songs to make them better (I did 12 songs to represent the 12 days of Christmas. I better get gifts all 12 of those days). Enjoy!

“The Chipmunk Song (Christmas Don’t be Late)”

I was really excited when I saw the title of this song. I thought for sure it would be about the chipmunks we see on cat TV! But it doesn’t even mention chipmunks- how disappointing! So, I’ve updated it to

Christmas, Christmas time is here.

Time to chase the chipmunks and deer.

They seem fun but they won’t play.

All they do is stay outside all day.

Want a friend to chase the dot- and a chipmunk with lots of nuts!

We can hardly stand the wait, so Christmas don’t be late.

All I Want for Christmas is You

I was a little disturbed when I realized that the singer wanted a human for Christmas. But then I realized many shelter cats would love a human! Obviously, this song was written for all displaced and homeless pets. The correct lyrics would go

I don’t want a lot for Christmas,

There are just a few things I need.

A warm lap to cuddle up on, and some food that I can eat.

I just need a light to chase, and a litter box in a clean place.

Make my wish come true,

Because just for Christmas, I choose you!

Jingle Bell Rock

The author of this song got one thing right- bells do rock! Some of my favorite toys have bells in them. But bells have nothing to do with sleighs or horses. What they could have composed would be more along the lines of

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock!

Jingle bells play and jingle bells stay – in the way of Mom and Dad- when they trip they get really mad.

Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock!

Jingle bells are fun when you place them in socks.

Bat them, and swat them, and hunt them down- and listen to the bell sound!

Rocking Around the Christmas Tree

This song is proof that trees are meant to be played with- a fact that we cats already knew (after all, why else would you put shiny, dangly balls all over them?) But humans must play in a boring way. The cat-tastic lyrics would read

Rocking around the Christmas tree,

Chase the ribbons on the box.

Ornaments hung where you can see,

Every kitty starts to swat.

Rocking around the Christmas tree, every kitty stops in shock.

Shinies and danglies all around, let us knock them to the ground.

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

I’m not really sure what a Christmas is supposed to look like, but if the month of December is any indication, it involves a lot of boxes, wrapping paper, and bows. Sounds more like Cat-mas! After all, I’ve never seen my big humans entertained by a box (the human kittens are another story). Thus, more appropriate lyrics would read

It’s beginning to look a lot like Cat-mas!

Toys all over the floor.

Look at the giant box, and the tins of lox,

With shiny ribbons and wrapping papers and bows!

It’s beginning to look a lot like Cat-mas. Lights in every door.

But the prettiest sight to see will be the presents that will be for all cats to adore!

Silent Night

Clearly this person lived alone under a rock. I don’t think I’ve ever experienced a silent night (although to be fair, Angel likes to practice her singing around 2am every night). However, if this make believe scenario were to happen, some more appropriate lyrics might read

Silent night! Kitties don’t fight!

All the mice are quiet and nice.

Tinsel hangs on the big Christmas tree.

Kitties pounce on the decor with glee.

Now let my humans awake!

So they can feed me at day break.

Holly Jolly Christmas

There isn’t really anything wrong with this song, except it is so heavily biased towards humans enjoying the holiday, and not cats. A more cat friendly song would read

Have a holly jolly Christmas!

It’s the best time of the year.

Lots of food, a festive mood, and pets go all around.

Have a holly jolly Christmas!

And when you walk down the street,

Stop in the store, go and explore, and buy me a tasty treat!

Do You Hear What I Hear?

I couldn’t decide if she was hunting small prey, or if she was psychotic. For the sake of writing, I’ll go with the former assumption. Because cats have better (and slightly more selective) hearing, my version would read

Said the kitty cat to her feline friend-

Do you hear what I hear?

It sounds like the opening of a can!

Do you hear what I hear?

A can, a can, opens in the night,

It will fill our tummies with delight! It will fill our tummies with delight!

Up on the Housetop

We get a stray cat and squirrels on our roof. We have a metal roof, so they’re really noisy- it’s quite annoying. Several naps have been interrupted because of this. Whoever wrote this seems to think it’s a good thing when someone is on your roof, so maybe it’s better at Christmas time. I will find out. In the hopes that this is true, I wrote these words to replace the traditional song:

Up on the housetop kitties jump.

They sit and lay and lounge in the sun.

Then comes dinner time and they go inside.

And stay all night to nap and hide.

Oh, oh, oh, where did kitty go?

Oh, oh, oh, nobody knows.

There she is, in the window she sits!

Watching Santa Paws and a guy named Nick.

Santa Claus is Coming to Town

Apparently some big dude is supposed to break into our house and give the human kittens presents. I have yet to decide if this is cool or creepy. I guess as long as he brings food and big boxes, he can’t be too bad. But his song should go more like this:

You better watch out, you better not cry.

There’s a big man bringing meats and mice and pies.

Santa Paws is coming to town,

Santa Paws is jumping down, Santa Paws is coming around!

He’s making dinner lists, chicken and rice. Sausage and gravy and beef and mice.

Santa Paws is coming to town,

Santa Paws is jumping down, Santa Paws is coming around!

We Three Kings

This song is pretty cat-oriented to begin with- lots of people travel to spoil the baby with cool gifts. Sounds like paradise to me. But the gifts sound disgusting- my humans said they were spices and metal. I’ve adapted a better version:

We three cats of Orient are

Very hungry after traveling far.

Tummies growling, low meowing, as we stare at a food jar.

Oh-oh, can of wonder, can of delight!

Can with dinner meant for tonight!

Smells like chicken, chops a licking,

Fills my tummy up for the night.

Joy to the World

There is nothing more joyful than a cat! I realize the song is referring to Jesus, who, don’t get me wrong, seems like a really cool guy. I bet he had a cat. But if we’re talking about bringing joy to the world, the lyrics should definitely be more like:

Joy to the world!

The cat has come!

She brings a mousie gift!

Let every cat receive a nap,

And treats and pets galore! And treats and pets galore!

And treats, and pets and snuggles for her!

Hopefully you’ve enjoyed the updated Cat-mas music! If you like any of the classics (Mom does), I apologize that you’ve been listening to the wrong lyrics your whole life. Have a merry and safe Christmas, and may you recieve lots of boxes and shiny ribbons!

Author’s note- this blog was written in memory of my human dad’s father, Morten Weisfeld (July 15th, 1951-December 1st, 2021). Even though you were a dog owner, may you have eternal sun spots and plenty of naps. We will miss you, and will always love you.

Purrs and furs,

Thunder K. Katt

2021 Gift Guide for the Pampered Kitty

November 27, 2021 | cat9984

Greetings fellow felines. It’s that time of year again when we ask Santa Claws to fulfill our hearts’ desires. This year we decided that we would focus our buying guide on cool beds. After all, what cat doesn’t like to curl up in comfort on a cold winter day. So look through the items we found, and circle the one you want to find under your Christmas tree.

K&H Pet Products Thermo-Kitty Heated Cat Bed – $84.99 (also available from Amazon)

When unoccupied, the bed surface will remain 10-15 degrees greater than room temperature. When in use, the bed will heat to your cat’s natural body temperature, which is about 102° F.

MYZOO Spaceship Gamma – $155 (also available from Amazon)

Wall-mounted and futuristic. What could be cooler?

MEOWFIA Premium Cat Bed Cave – $49.99 (Amazon)

Handmade from merino wool. Snug as a bug in a rug. (So to speak.)

Paws & Purrs Modern Pet Sofa – $269 (Amazon)

Purr-fectly elegant. Get a set and invite an intellectual friend over for kitty book club.

D+GARDEN Wicker Cat Bed – $125.99 (Amazon)

Bring your garden memories into the house. This bed is especially comfy for big kitties.

B.U.STYLE Cat Bed Basket Swinging Pet House Nest – $109.90 (Amazon)

You can move this beauty outside in the spring. It’s intended for smaller kitties so it may be a little delicate for some of you. (But it does look pretty spiffy.)

Finally, we thought that we would include a couple of treats just because we came across them when we were using Mr. Google and they looked interesting.

Tuna Sticks Cat Treats – $9.99

These delicious-looking treats are hand-rolled and baked. They contain tuna, whole wheat flour, eggs, parsley, and water.