Sgt Stripes here. It’s been a while since we checked in with Dear Tabby, advice columnist for Adventures in Cheeseland. Here’s a sampling of this week’s letters.
Dear Tabby – I’m not sure what to do. I’m a bunny, and I come from a large family. Every year, we have an end-of-season family dinner. I recently found out that a few of my cousins have joined the Rabbit Nationalists. All they talk about is how much better things would be if was just rabbits running things. One of them even posted pictures of rabbit dens with trophy animals on the walls. I don’t want to have anything to do with them. My girlfriend says I should confront them. But I don’t want to cause drama in the family. I’m afraid that if we go to the dinner, she’ll insist on telling them what she thinks about Rabbit Nationalism. It will create a huge scene which I want to avoid. Signed: On the Fence.
Dear Fence – Sounds like your girlfriend is dating a wimp. Reality is that all animals think their species is the best. We exist peacefully in a civilized society because we don’t flaunt it. You better set your cousins straight before they’re turned into somebody’s stew.
Dear Tabby – I am getting so tired of looking at baby pictures from my sister-in-law. I understand that it’s a really big deal for a panda to have a cub, but she sends me a constant stream of everything the cub does. Is this normal? I’m a black bear and my family loves their cubs, but we would never make this kind of fuss. My husband’s extended family is all getting together at Thanksgiving. I can already see that it’s going to be all-cub-all-the-time. She’s told me how much the cub is looking forward to meeting me. My partner (her brother) thinks I’m overreacting. He says I should just ignore her. It’s easy for him to say. She doesn’t send him all the pictures. She says I can bond with her over “girl stuff.” Signed: Overwhelmed Auntie
Dear Auntie – My advice is to run in the opposite direction. It sounds to me like she’s trying to prep you for nanny duty, Overloading someone with information about their child is not “girl stuff.” Panda cubs are incredibly cute, but they are a lot of work. I’d bring a bottle of elderberry wine to the dinner, and tell her you’d love to babysit, but really shouldn’t while intoxicated.
Dear Tabby – I work in an all-cat office. We get along pretty well, but you know how cats can be. Anyway, there’s this cute tom there who has been hanging around my cubicle and flirting. I joke around with him and have a lot of fun. He asked me out for niptinis after work. I was so excited that I told a couple of the other cats. They looked at me kind of weirdly. I asked what was wrong. Turns out, he’s asked out several of the other lady cats in the office. .He’s fun for a couple of dates, then moves on. It’s been causing some hurt feelings. Should I go out with him? He seems really sweet. Maybe the other girls just weren’t his type. Signed Confused
Dear Confused – What do you think his type is? It sounds like he’s trying out lady cats the way humans try on clothes. You can go out with him, but don’t expect him to be partner-quality material. Sometimes you should listen to the girls.
Dear Tabby – I’m a cat. I met the most wonderful raccoon through some friends. He’s sweet, charming, considerate, and gets along great with my family. After dating for a year, we decided to move in together. My mother tried to tell me that cats and raccoons really shouldn’t live together. I thought she was being species-ist. She didn’t think I’d be happy with a nocturnal partner. I’m definitely crepuscular, so I thought we could make it work. The midnight snacks are a little loud, but not awful. What I can’t handle is how messy he is. He leaves food scraps everywhere. He claws through the wrapping on the meat, but sometimes he eats it. Eeww. He never picks up after himself. I went into the kitchen yesterday morning and could barely get to the refrigerator (which is covered with claw marks). He bangs into the table, knocks over the chairs, and eats on the counter. It’s like living with a barbarian. Is there any hope for us? Signed In Love but disgusted.
Dear Disgusted – This tabby would not be living in your home. How do you even keep yourself well-groomed in the middle of that whirlwind? Do they take raccoons at those schools that train dogs to be civilized? Your mother is right. It is very difficult for mixed-species couple to find common ground in all areas. You need to go to couples counseling. Find a therapist who specializes in inter-species relationships. In the meantime, hire a maid.
Pictures generated by Gemini AI
