Tag Archives: Thanksgiving

21

A Kitty’s Thanksgiving Feast

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Wow. We can’t believe it’s less than two weeks until Thanksgiving here in the US. The humans keep talking about all the food they’re going to have. We decided that we would look into what it means for us cats. To be perfectly honest, it was a little disappointing.

Of course, the centerpiece (at least at our house) is going to be a turkey. We love turkey and were happy to hear that we are allowed to share the main course. There was a former cat here who would sit in the kitchen and wait on the table for the bird to come out of the oven. We’re not that bad, but turkey is yummy. But the science people say that we’re not supposed to eat the skin or bones. That sounds reasonable. But they also prefer if we avoid the dark meat because it has more fat. Hmmph! Like we’re going to get fat on one meal.

Can Cats Eat Turkey? - Cats.com

The rest of the meal doesn’t sound all that appetizing to us. But maybe some of the rest of you will be happy with the side dishes. Apparently, we’re supposed to eat them plain, no added sugars, salt, or butter. (We’re very disappointed – butter is our favorite part of veggies.)

Can Cats Eat Pumpkin? Veterinarians Explain | Trusted Since 1922

We can eat pumpkin and sweet potatoes. Pumpkin is full of all kinds of nutritious stuff that’s good for us. But no pumpkin pie! And no marshmallow on the sweet potatoes. Generally speaking, cats prefer their pumpkin and sweet potatoes pureed. After all, we don’t have the right kind of teeth for grinding. (Maybe a tiny bit of whipped cream wouldn’t be missed.)

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Apparently, some kitties really like veggies. Most of the lists we looked at said that we could be given green beans, carrots, spinach, broccoli, and cabbage. Steamed green beans are a favorite for some kitties. Most of the others are best if they are cooked at least a little bit, although some cats like raw carrots. None of us eat vegetables, but feel free to indulge if you’d like.

Can Cats Eat Apples? Are Apples Safe For Cats? | Cats, Cat facts, Pet news

Humans eat both apples and cranberries this time of year. You can try either if you are so inclined. Have your human seed the apples and cut them up small enough so you don’t choke (or make you unsweetened applesauce). Cranberries, on the other hand, are kind of sour. Your human should probably cook them and mix them with something a little sweeter like apple or pumpkin.

Truthfully, we really weren’t all that impressed with the human foods for Thanksgiving. So we found a few recipes that your human can make special for you.
Will Those Holiday Leftovers Poison Your Cat? - CatGazette
Turkey Triangles
  • 1/2 cup ground turkey
  • 1/2 cup whole wheat flour
  • 1 egg
  • 1/2 tablespoon olive oil
  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Farenheit.
  2. Mix the ingredients in a large bowl.
  3. Knead the dough into a ball.
  4. Spread flour over a flat workspace.
  5. Roll out the dough to 1/4″ thickness.
  6. Place the dough on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.
  7. Score the dough into (cat) bite-sized triangles. Do not cut all the way through (Score 1/2″ wide rows, then diagonal cuts across the rows, finally diagonal cuts in the opposite direction.)
  8. Bake for 20 minutes.
  9. After cooling, snap into triangles.

Is it safe to feed fish to cats? | Honolulu Star-Advertiser

Tuna Yum Yums

  • 1/2 cup flour
  • 1/4 cup water
  • 1/2 cup of milk
  • 1/2 can of tuna
  • 1 tablespoon of vegetable or fish oil
  • 1 egg
  • 1 teaspoon of catnip (optional)
  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Farenheit.
  2. Place parchment paper on a cookie sheet.
  3. Break the tuna into small pieces and mix in the flour and milk.
  4. Stir in the water and vegetable oil.
  5. Beat the egg in a separate bowl, then add to tuna mixture.
  6. Mix until dough-like.
  7. Shape the dough into small balls, about the size of blueberries, and place on the baking sheet.
  8. Cook the dough for 12 minutes or until golden brown. Stick a toothpick in to check that the treat is fully cooked.
  9. Cool for an hour before serving.

Fancy Feast Released a Cookbook of Companion Recipes for Humans

Kitty Casserole 

  • 1 can  tuna or salmon
  • 1 teaspoon honey
  • 1/2 can of your favorite food
  • 1 teaspoon dry cat food or treats
  1. Mix all of the wet ingredients together.
  2. Pour into a storage container.
  3. Top with dry food or treats.

We hope you have a terrific Turkey Day with lots of yummy treats followed by excellent naps.  Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

11

The Purr-fect Feline Thanksgiving

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Greetings. Mom looked at the calendar yesterday and realized that it’s only two weeks until Thanksgiving here in the US.  She told our human brother that it’s time to make the shopping list. That got us to thinking about what we needed to make sure was on that list. After all, it is a holiday centered around food. And what kitty doesn’t love a good treat?

It turns out that the newest cat in the house, Sgt Stripes, has a thing for Google and enjoys looking things up. (Mom complains that every time he helps her on the computer, the first thing he does is open up the inquiry screen.) So we put him to work on research. As it turned out, he may be a little too good. We had to sort through a lot of stuff to get to the goodies. But we don’t pay him, so we probably shouldn’t complain.

Will Those Holiday Leftovers Poison Your Cat? - CatGazette

TURKEY

Most of us kitties love turkey. The humans that study these things say we should eat the white meat (less fat) with no skin or seasoning. And NO bones. They can splinter and choke us.

Create meme "Cat (Cat , katamatite., cat thief )" - Pictures - Meme -arsenal.com

HAM/SAUSAGE

Hams and sausages smell really yummy. Unfortunately, we shouldn’t eat them because they are full of salt and fat. (If you love either one, we recommend stealing a piece or two while the humans aren’t watching.)

Thanksgiving Foods That are Toxic To Cats - Cat Hospital of Tucson

STUFFING/DRESSING

We really don’t understand the appeal of this dish. It’s basically bread that pretends to be real food. The bread part isn’t a problem for cats. The problem is the other stuff that makes it look like actual food. A lot of humans use onions and garlic, which are toxic to cats. They also sometimes use sausage, chorizo, oysters, butter, and spices which are bad for kitties. (Kommando loves a good butter taste, but it really isn’t good for her.)

Can Cats Eat Potatoes? How About Sweet Potatoes? - Catster

MASHED POTATOES and GRAVY

We kitties can safely eat potatoes. Unfortunately, humans don’t generally serve plain potatoes at Thanksgiving. At the very least, they mix the potatoes with butter and milk/cream. Butter and cream are both high in fat and cause tummy trouble for a lot of kitties. They also smother their potatoes with turkey gravy. Turkey gravy smells heavenly (like the turkey), but usually has a lot of salt and fat because it’s made with drippings and/or broth.

Tumblr User Explain Why Cats Are Obsessed With Eating Bread | Bored Panda

BREAD/ROLLS

We are allowed to eat plain bread. Nothing containing garlic, onion, raisins, or chocolate. And avoid the butter. And definitely stay away from the dough. The active yeast will make your belly swell up and you’ll get bloated. We don’t see the appeal, but it’s up to you..

Can Cats Eat Cranberries? Is It Good For Cats? (Quick Answer)

CRANBERRY SAUCE

Kitties are allowed to eat cranberries, but the sauce isn’t good for us. It’s full of sugar. (Are you beginning to notice a trend here?) Apparently, some kitties like mashed cranberries. (None of them live in our house.) Some humans recommend mashing a few in with some mashed pumpkin. We recommend knocking them on the floor and batting them around.

Is Pumpkin Good For Cats? – Feline Behavior Solutions - Cat Behavior Consultant

PUMPKIN/SWEET POTATOES

Here we go again. Pumpkins and sweet potatoes are fine. (You want to have your human cook and mash it for you.) Pumpkin/sweet potato pie is bad. Too much sugar. Same thing for those sweet potatoes covered in marshmallows. The little pumpkins are a lot of fun to roll around. Sweet potatoes are lumpy and don’t roll well.

5 Acres & A Dream: Cats & Green Beans

GREEN BEANS

Not sure who we’re talking to here, because green beans are not a delicacy in our book. But if you like them, have at them. They are very nutritious and can be eaten by cats either raw or cooked. As always, no butter, oil, or seasonings. And NO green bean casserole. Most casseroles contain onions and canned/dried soup, two things that are bad for kitty tummies.

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OTHER VEGGIES

Some humans serve a variety of other vegetables for Thanksgiving. Among the most common are carrots, spinach, broccoli, and cabbage. Cats are allowed to eat them; we’re not sure why you’d want to. They are best steamed for kitties, but you can eat raw carrots if you want. And no, you may not have butter with these vegetables either.

Can Cats Eat Apples? 3 Unexpected Ways They Make Cats Sick - NPHQ Veterinarian

APPLES

If you would like a bite of apple, help yourself. Make sure the piece isn’t too big. Otherwise, they are safe.

Create meme "Sffs (Sffs , beer , the cat and the cat )" - Pictures - Meme -arsenal.com

BEER, WINE, and COCKTAILS

No. No. And No. Generally, cats do not like the smell or taste of alcohol.

21-step Guide On How To Cook With Cats | Bored Panda

We have made it to the good part of the post. This is where we provide recipes for your human to make stuff especially for you. (Note that there is dairy in some of the recipes.)

TURKEY TRIANGLES (from Chewy)

  • 1/2 cup ground turkey
  • 1/2 cup whole wheat flour
  • 1 egg
  • 1/2 tablespoon olive oil

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

  1. Mix all the ingredients together. (It may be easiest to do by hand.)
  2. Knead the dough into a ball.
  3. Lightly flour a workspace.
  4. Roll out the dough to 1/4-inch thickness, roughly in the shape of a rectangle.
  5. Place the dough on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.
  6. Score 1/2-inch rows into the dough (do not cut all the way through).
  7. Score 1/2-inch diagonal lines across the dough (creating diamonds).
  8. Score 1/2-inch diagonal lines the opposite way across the dough (creating triangles).
  9. Bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes.
  10. Once cool, break into pieces.

Pets and Turkey Photos, Thanksgiving

TURKEY TOTS (from PetSafe)

  • 1 egg
  • 1 pound turkey
  • 1 teaspoon parsley
  • 1/2 cup vegetables
  • 1/2 cup cheese

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

  1. Mix all the ingredients.
  2. Shape into small chunks and spread on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.
  3. Bake 10 minutes (until they turn brown).
  4. Allow to cool before serving.

Pumpkin is Both Plenty Tasty and Healthy For Cats, Too | PawTracks

PUMPKIN SMOOTHIES

  • 1 cup plain pumpkin puree
  • 1 cup plain non-fat yogurt

Instructions

  1. Blend ingredients thoroughly.
  2. Pour out.
  3. May also be frozen in an ice cube tray.

Is Pumpkin Good For Cats? - All About Cats

PUMPKIN PIE FOR CATS

  • Flour
  • 1 cup grated carrots
  • 1 cup plain pumpkin puree
  • 2 cups rice flour
  • 1/2 cup plain unsweetened applesauce
  • 1/2 cup oat milk

Preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.

  1. Measure flour into a bowl.
  2. Blend applesauce, milk,  carrots, and pumpkin until smooth.
  3. Add mixture to the flour a little at a time until dough forms.
  4. Flour a workspace.
  5. Roll dough to 1/4-inch thickness.
  6. Cut into small pieces.
  7. Place small pieces on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.
  8. Bake for 5 minutes on each side.
  9. Let cool before serving.

Hopefully you’ll find something you like here. We’ve given you plenty of time to get it on the shopping list before the big day. Enjoy!

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

16

Thanksgiving Presentation at Critter Cove Elementary School – Part 2

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Thanksgiving Foods That are Toxic To Cats - Cat Hospital of Tucson

Where we are – Timmy Tortie has given a presentation about human customs for celebrating Thanksgiving. The children decided that they would create their own Thanksgiving celebration to demonstrate the right way to do it. You can read Part 1 here.

Ms. Celeste: Welcome to the Critter Cove Elementary School Thanksgiving feast! Everyone was supposed to bring a dish to share and be prepared to share what they are thankful for.

Can Cats Eat Fish Bones? Are Fish Bones Safe For Cats? - CatTime

Timmy: I brought my mom’s special kibble. It has three kinds of fish.

Ms. Celeste: That looks delicious! And what are you thankful for?

Timmy: I’m thankful that she only makes it on special occasions because I have to help clean the fish.

Ralph Raccoon: That smells really good!

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Ms. Celeste: What did you bring, Ralph?

Ralph: I brought popcorn.

Ms. Celeste: Why popcorn? Is that a family treat?

Ralph: Every year, my family watches A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving together. And that’s what Snoopy makes for dinner. I’m thankful that my family spends time together.

Ms. Celeste: That’s a nice idea. Who’s next?

Will Those Holiday Leftovers Poison Your Cat? - CatGazette

Susie Siamese: I brought some turkey. It’s traditional for the humans, and I think it’s really yummy.

Ms. Celeste: Very nice, Susie. And what are you thankful for?

Susie: I’m thankful for supermarkets. Do you have any idea how hard it would be to catch a bird this big? And for my mom. She cooked the whole thing.

Ms. Celeste: Moms are pretty useful.

Wolf and his watermelon. : r/wolves

Jimmy Wolf: I’m next. I brought in some sweet potatoes and squash.

Ms. Celeste: Those look good. But I’m a little surprised. I didn’t realize that wolves ate things like that.

Jimmy: We don’t. I was really excited about the dinner and was talking about it with our neighbor, Mr. Jackson. He’s a deer. He suggested that since the class is full of carnivores that maybe some vegetables would be a nice change.

Ms. Celeste: That’s an excellent idea.

Jimmy: And I’m thankful that I have such a nice neighbor. He helped me pick out the food to bring.

One of Cheri's three as yet unnamed cubs discovering that … | Flickr

Belinda Bear: I brought berry pies. I thought that we should have something for dessert. And I love berries.

Ralph: Yum! I love pie. Did your mom make them?

Belinda: Actually, my sister helped me make them. Mom’s pretty traditional. She still thinks this time of year is for hibernation.

Ralph: Oh! So she’s sleeping full-time?

Belinda: She doesn’t do the full hibernation. She just naps a lot. She’ll be up for Christmas.

Ms. Celeste: And what are you thankful for?

Belinda: I’m thankful that I made it to school without eating the pies.

The class laughed.

Belinda: Actually, I’m thankful that my sister is smart enough to know how to bake.

Koko, the gorilla whose sign language abilities changed our view of animal intelligence, dies at 46 - Los Angeles Times

Tony Tabby: I brought in bananas.

Ms. Celeste: I’ve never seen a cat eat bananas. How did you decide on that?

Tony: I got them from my new neighbor. He eats them all the time.

Ms. Celeste: Who is your new neighbor?

Tony: A family of gorillas just moved in two doors down from me. One of them is named Java. He’s really friendly. And I was very thankful to learn that gorillas don’t eat kittens.

Ms. Celeste: Why would you ever think they might?

Tony: They’re huge. So it was scary at first.

Kittens eating together - YouTube

They sat down and enjoyed their feast. The children agreed that the humans definitely had one good idea: eating with friends was the best part of Thanksgiving.

Happy Thanksgiving from the Carriage Crossing Animal Hospital. | Animal hospital, Animals, Happy thanksgiving

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

20

Thanksgiving Presentation at Critter Cove Elementary School

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Shelter Dogs and Cats Receive Special Thanksgiving Feast • The Catnip Times

Ms. Celeste: Good morning, class! Today’s the day that we start your presentations on foreign cultures. I’m excited to find out what you’ve learned about groups who are different from you. Timmy Tortie, you’re up first. What will you be talking about?

Timmy: I’m going to talk about human Thanksgiving.

Susie Siamese: You mean when they go to those buildings and talk to God?

Timmy: No. It’s a big day at the end of the month of November here in the U.S. They get together with their family and friends for dinner.

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Ralph Raccoon: Why?

Timmy: A bunch of them came over from the other side of the world a long time ago. Apparently, the people who were already living here invited them to a big dinner. Or helped them learn how to grow stuff. Or didn’t kill and eat them. Or something.

Jimmy Wolf: So they get together to help each other as a way to commemorate?

Timmy: No. Basically, they get together and they eat a lot. Some of them talk about stuff they’re thankful for.

Susie: My Mom used to live with humans. She didn’t really like Thanksgiving. She said it was really loud. The turkey was pawsome, but the people yelled a lot.

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Timmy: Some things I read said that people get really stressed out because they have to spend time with their weird family members. I guess you can’t just invite the good ones. And sometimes humans drink stuff that makes them act silly and say stupid things.

Belinda Bear: Why do they do that?

Other Children: Humans are weird!

Ms. Celeste: What else can you tell us about human Thanksgiving, Timmy?

Timmy: Sometimes, they march in parades or watch other humans march in them.

Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade going virtual due to COVID-19 | 13newsnow.com

Ralph: What’s a parade?

Timmy: It’s when a bunch of people walk down a street. Sometimes they do tricks like dancing or riding a bike. Some play instruments or sing. And some ride on platforms that they call “floats” even though nothing is floating.

Tony Tabby: That is super weird.

Ralph: Do they sing and dance about thanking someone or something?

Timmy: Not as far as I can tell.

Ralph: So what’s the point?

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Timmy: Santa Claws comes at the end of the parade and the humans welcome him back.

Susie: That can’t be right. Santa Claws comes on Christmas Eve. He’s busy getting ready before that.

Timmy: Don’t worry. It’s not the real Santa Claws. It’s just some human who dresses up like him. They don’t look realistic at all.

Jimmy: I’m getting really confused. What does Santa Claws have to do with Thanksgiving?

Timmy: According to Catepedia.com, the humans like to see Santa Claws so they know it’s time to start shopping for Christmas.

Jimmy: Couldn’t they just use a calendar?

Wolf pup howling: pics

The class laughed, but Jimmy looked confused.

Timmy: It’s hard to explain why humans do things sometimes. Someone started doing the Santa thing a long time ago, so now it’s what they call a tradition.

Jimmy: So human Christmas kinda of starts at the end of Thanksgiving?

Timmy: Kinda. They do a lot of shopping that weekend.

Tony: That is really bizarre. They get together to eat a lot of food. Then shop.

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Timmy: One other thing that a lot of them do on Thanksgiving is watch American football. It’s a game with a bunch of men on one team running around trying to keep the other team from reaching the end of the field.

Susie: What does that have to do with giving thanks?

Timmy: As far as I can tell, nothing. Some humans just like to watch other humans play-fight. It gives them something to do while they’re waiting for all that food to cook. And it keeps them out of the way.

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Susie: It probably gives them something else to argue about.

Timmy: That’s really all I know about Thanksgiving. It sounded a lot more promising before I did the research. I think it’s a pawsome idea, but it could use some work.

Susie: Yeah. Maybe the animals should take it over and show the humans how to do it right.

Ms. Celeste: Susie, that’s a wonderful idea. Let’s have our own Thanksgiving.

Next week: The Critter Cover Elementary School Thanksgiving.

Will Those Holiday Leftovers Poison Your Cat? - CatGazette

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

 

12

Halber Home for Traumatized Turkeys

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Image result for group of turkeys

It’s the busiest time of the year at the Halber Home for Traumatized Turkeys. Not only did severe anxiety and panic attacks frequently occur around Thanksgiving, but the population always increased substantially. Most of the residents only stayed a short time, until they were reunited with family, but others had no other place to go.

The home itself was actually acres and acres of woods where the turkeys could roam peacefully and forget about friends and relatives who gave their lives in the name of a traditional Thanksgiving dinner for the humans. Some had barely escaped the same fate, while others only knew that they had lost loved ones at this time of the year.

Image result for dense forest

Mrs. Thomas, who ran the home, welcomed each resident as they arrived, telling them the rules of the house:

  1. Everyone is welcome.
  2. You can stay as long as you’d like.
  3. No relating horror stories, except with trained staff.
  4. No talking about other residents behind their backs.

Image result for 3 pigs

Mrs. Thomas was standing at the entryway when three pigs approached her.

Pig: Hello. My name is Herman. This is Penny and Junior. We’re hoping you can help us.

Mrs. Thomas: Well, I’ll certainly try. What’s the problem?

Herman: We thought we were living with a very kind man. He let us stay in a nice barn and fed us well.

Junior broke in.

Junior: But he was just fattening us up. He’s going to send us out to be smoked as hams for next Easter.

Image result for pigs and turkeys together

Mrs. Thomas: My goodness! Are you sure?

Penny: Absolutely. I heard him on the phone. He thinks we’re just dumb animals who don’t understand anything. But he’s wrong.

Mrs. Thomas: That’s terrible. How can I help? I don’t know any pig sanctuaries.

Junior (hesitantly): We thought that maybe we could stay here for a while. Penny has some relatives down South, but it will take a while to make arrangements. And we don’t have any time. We’ve heard that everyone is welcome. We were hoping that includes pigs.

Penny: Yes, please?

Image result for pigs in hiding

Mrs. Thomas: Hmm. This is rather unusual. We’ve never had anyone but turkeys here before. I’m not sure how the residents would feel about that.

Penny: But we don’t have anyplace else to go. He’s going to find us if we keep walking.

Mrs. Thomas thought for a few minutes. The pigs were getting more nervous. Every time they heard a noise on the road they jumped. They didn’t know what they would do if Mrs. Thomas turned them down.

Mrs. Thomas: As I said, I’m not really sure whether you’d be welcome here. I need to talk with some of the staff.

Herman: How long will that take? We need to keep running if we can’t stay here.

Mrs. Thomas: It shouldn’t take long. Come in and hide in those woods while we decide.

She pointed to a dense group of trees not far from the road. The pigs sighed with relief. At least they were safe for a while. Everyone probably knew they were gone by now.

Image result for farm truck

Penny: Thank you so much, Mrs. Thomas.

Junior: We’re extremely grateful, even if the rest of it doesn’t work out.

They heard trucks on the road and scattered, the pigs to one side and Mrs. Thomas to the other. Watching the truck move slowly along the road looking at each side, the pigs realized the humans were looking for them.

Human 1: Maybe we should get out and look in the woods.

Human 2: Why bother? Those pigs aren’t smart enough to hide. They couldn’t have gone far. It’s not like they can run with the amount of food they’ve been eating. We’ll spot them soon.

Human 1: We have to. Mr. Jeager said we’d have to pay for them if we can’t find them. I can’t believe they got that gate open. We weren’t gone that long.

Human 2: Just keep looking.

The pigs looked at each other in terror.

Image result for pig pen

Herman: You were right, Penny. We’re lucky they think we’re so dumb. It wasn’t any trouble at all to get that latch open.

Junior: We better hope Mrs. Thomas will let us stay. It looks like those guys will be looking-

for a while.

Meanwhile, Mrs. Thomas was meeting with the staff and a few of the long-term residents.

Image result for turkeys talking

Next week: Will the turkeys lets the pigs stay or are they too traumatized to be around anything other than more turkeys?

Photos courtesy of Google Images

 

10

Feral Purrfessional – Part 4

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Image result for group of cats

Where we are: Katie Kitty has been given a scholarship to Mid-America Animal Tech where she will study providing medical care to the feral cat population. She has discovered that one of her professors is her roommate’s father. Rose is much calmer about leaving Katie since she met the Professor. You can read the beginning of the story here.

Image result for cats in school

After the first day of school.

Katie: That was tough. I can’t believe how much homework we got on the first day.

Elise: And we have two quizzes on Friday!

Katie: Cats’ vital signs and the systems in the cat’s body.

Elise: Guess we better get started.

Katie: Can you believe some of the cats are going to a nip party tonight? It’s not even the weekend.

Image result for catnip party

Elise: I know. Maybe they don’t know how hard the program is.

Katie: Did you see that cute boy cat that was looking at you?

Elise: How could I miss him? Every time I turned around he was there.

Katie: Did you talk to him?

Elise: Yeah. All he wanted to talk about was my father, the professor.

Katie: That stinks.

Elise: It’s OK. I’m used to it.

Image result for cat on phone

Katie’s phone rings.

Katie: Hi, Mama. How are you?

Rose: How was your first day of school?

Katie: Great! I think I’m going to like it here.

Rose: Were you OK after we left?

Katie: Yes, we were fine. (Rolls her eyes.)

Rose: What are you doing now?

Image result for cat asleep on book

Katie: We’re getting ready to study.

Rose: OK. I won’t keep you. Say hello to Elise and her father. Talk to you tomorrow.

Katie: Bye, Mama.

Katie looks at Elise.

Katie: She is going to drive me crazy. I think she’s going to call every day. She says hello to you and your father.

Elise: She just misses you.

Katie: I guess. But I don’t think I’m going to be doing anything very interesting every day.

Image result for cat thinking

Elise: She seemed to like Daddy. I’ll see if he has any ideas.

Katie: That’s a great idea. Thank you!

They decide to go to the cafeteria and eat before studying. After salmon mousse and cream, they return to their room and work until bedtime. The next afternoon, Katie gets another call.

Katie: Hi, Mama. How is everybody?

Rose: We’re all fine. How are you?

Katie: I’m good. Elise and I are going to see a movie tonight. Take a break after studying.

Image result for cat in the dark

Rose: You’re not going to be out after dark are you?

Katie: I’m a cat. Dark doesn’t bother me.

Rose: But it’s not safe.

Katie: Don’t you remember what Professor Khatt told you? It’s perfectly safe here. Besides, it’s just down the block.

Rose: OK. But call me when you get home. I want to make sure you’re safe.

Katie: All right. I’ll talk to you then.

Katie disconnects the phone.

Image result for annoyed cat pictures

Katie: Meowsers! She is crazy. I have to call when we get back. Did you talk to your dad?

Elise: I almost forgot! He said that he would call her tonight and explain how distracting it would be for you if she called every night.

Katie: I hope he doesn’t hurt her feelings.

After the movie, Katie calls her mother.

Katie: Hi, Mama. We’re home. All safe and sound.

Rose: That’s nice dear. I hope you enjoyed the movie. I got the nicest call from Edgar. He told me that you are adapting well, and I don’t need to worry so much. He is going to call me every Friday to let me know how things are going. He suggested that you call me once a week since you will be very busy. I think Monday.

Image result for happy cat

Katie (confused): Sure, Mama. Mondays will be fine. Are you sure you’ll be ok with once a week?

Rose: Oh, yes. I don’t want to interfere with your studies. Love you.

Katie: Love you too.

Katie disconnects the call.

Katie: Your father is a magician! I only have to call once a week.

Elise: How’d he manage that?

Katie: He’s going to call her every week to reassure her.

Image result for thanksgiving cat

All goes well for several weeks. Everyone is making plans for the Thanksgiving break. Katie is talking to her mother during the weekly call.

Rose: Edgar tells me you’re doing very well in school.

Katie: So far, everything is fine.

Rose: Did you know he and Elise will be spending Thanksgiving alone?

Katie: She says that’s the way they always do it.

Rose: Well, I think it’s terrible. So, I invited them down here.

Image result for cats on trains

Katie (in disbelief): Really, Mama? I don’t think it’s a good idea to spend that much time with one of my professors. It would look strange.

Rose: Don’t be silly. Cats shouldn’t be alone on holidays. Besides, you can spend your time with Elise.

Katie: I guess, Mama.

Rose: It’s set then. You can all take the train down on Wednesday.

Katie disconnects the call.

Katie: That’s weird. She invited you and your father for Thanksgiving.

Elise: That sounds like fun. I’ve never been south.

Katie: I’m so glad you’re going to be there.

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Rose makes a huge Thanksgiving dinner with an entire turkey. The kittens love Edgar. He has brought some of his cat models down and plays with the kittens. On Sunday, Rose drops Edgar, Elise, and Katie at the station.

Elise: Thank you, Mrs. Kitty. I had a wonderful time.

Rose: You’re very welcome. I enjoyed having you.

Katie: I guess this wasn’t as weird as I thought it was going to be.

Rose: I told you everything would be fine.

Edgar: You were a wonderful hostess, Rose. I’m so glad you invited us.

Rose: Thank you, Edgar. I’m looking forward to seeing you both at Christmas.

Edgar: We’ll see you then. I’m planning special gifts for both you and Katie.

Katie and Elise look at each other.

Next week: The finale. What is going to happen on Christmas?

  • Image result for cats christmas presents

 

 

 

5

The Adoption of Bertie Turkey

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A flock of wild turkeys were strolling around discussing current events.

Turkey 1: Do you know what’s happening in a couple of weeks? It’s going to be Thanksgiving. Do you know what that means?

(The other turkeys look bewildered.)

Turkey 1: That’s the day that every human wants to have turkey for dinner.

Turkey 2: So what? They hunt for us every day.

Turkey 1: I was talking to a guy who was passing through. Apparently we have some kind of relative called a domesticated turkey. Humans raise them on farms just to eat them.

(The turkeys look appalled.)

Turkey 3: That’s barbaric!

 

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Turkey 1: He said that they have put together a team of freedom fighters called Freedom for All Turkeys (FAT). They are going to try to release as many turkeys as possible.

Turkey 4: What can we do to help?

Turkey 1: He wants us to let them know if we see any of these farms so they can set the turkeys free.

(They all nod and go back home.)

Wilma: Fred, I heard the most horrible thing today.

Fred: What’s that? (He’s scratching the ground looking for something.)

Wilma: The humans have something called farms where they raise turkeys just so they can eat them!

Fred: Relax. I’m sure it’s just a rumor.

Wilma: No, it’s not. There’s a group called FAT that’s trying to release as many as possible. We have to help.

Fred: What can we do about it?

Wilma: I want you and the boys to go to one of these farms and bring one of those poor turkeys back. At least we can adopt one of them.

(Fred sighs.)

 

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George: Dad, why are we out here in the middle of nowhere?

Fred: Your mother wants us to rescue a turkey from a farm.

Tim: How much farther is it? We’ve been walking forever.

Fred: It should be around here somewhere.

(Finally they see a sign: Tyler’s Turkey Farm 2 miles. They groan and keep walking.)

 

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(They walk up to a large fenced area.)

Fred: Well, I guess this is it.

Tim: Dad, this is stupid.

George: He’s right. Turkeys don’t fly a lot. But we can fly high enough to get over that fence.

Fred: Well, maybe this isn’t it.

(They hear a lot of rustling and gobbling.)

George: Nope, this is it.

 

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Tim: Is that one of them?

George: It’s huge! Guess that’s why they don’t fly away. That thing can barely walk.

Fred: You, there! Are you a domesticated turkey?

Bertie: Yep. My name is Bertie. Are you guys turkeys? You look like you haven’t had a decent meal in weeks. C’mon in. We have plenty.

Fred: We’re here to rescue you.

Bertie: From what? It’s great here. Nice grounds. Plenty to eat.

George: They’re going to eat you! That’s why they feed you so much.

Bertie: Oh dear! That’s not good. How do I get out?

(They look around.)

Tim: Look. A couple of the wires are loose here.

(They pull the rest loose with their beaks and pull the wires back to make a hole.)

Bertie (skeptical): You want me to go through there?

Fred: You have no choice.

(The two boys fly over the fence and push Bertie. Fred holds the wires back as far as possible. After much struggle, Bertie finally pops through.)

 

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They make their way very slowly through the woods, Bertie needing to stop frequently. What had taken a half day going took three days coming back.

So if you’re wandering around the Michigan woods, may just see Bertie hanging around with a bunch of wild turkeys. He looks about the same, although a lot lighter.

 

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(All pictures courtesy of Google Images)

WordPress says this is going to publish on Sat. at 6a.  It is now Sat. at 8p and I am manually publishing it.

6

Black Friday and the Arrival of the Grinch

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(For the uninitiated – e.g., those living in more civilized parts of the world – Black Friday is the day after Thanksgiving when stores offer their best sales for Christmas. It even existed during the Dark Ages when I was young. The Thanksgiving newspaper was always the largest of the year because it carried the advertisements for the Day-after-Thanksgiving sales. As I recall it was more genteel pushing than tripping and hitting.)

On my first day of work, the manager told me that everyone works on Black Friday. It really didn’t surprise me since the company is on the news every year for its Black Friday mobs (and occasional brawls).

My experiences at my previous job weren’t particularly encouraging. But working in cheese meant that I got the customers after they had been through battle and licking their wounds. The Grinch usually arrived sometime before the end of the shift with his tight shoes and snarl to take up residence until after New Year’s Day.

At 10p on Wednesday, I showed up for work ready to prepare for the sale. Silly me. The sale didn’t start until 2p Thanksgiving afternoon. If we put the merchandise out the night before, the day shift would be fighting off customers all morning. That might be fun to watch.

I was pretty excited. I never shop on Black Friday, and I thought it would be fun to see the crowds. There was even a county deputy there. I got to the back room and the manager said that we were going to be assigned from the break room instead of the hall as usual. It was packed, about two times as many people as usual.

The store director got up to talk. This must be important. We never see him at night. He started out by telling us how disappointing sales have been so far. Way below what they expected.

Our job was to make sure that the store looked good for Friday. They advised us to look around the store to know where the sale items were since people would be asking us all night. Good idea. Except we didn’t have fliers to know what we were looking for.

There really wasn’t a good job that night. We straightened, put things away, and threw away mangled displays. It was a bit like kids cleaning their rooms. No Grinch in sight; he would have been bored.

I straightened men’s jeans. I don’t know what kind of gremlins shop for men’s jeans when the store is busy, but they’re slobs. Must be male gremlins.

I talked to two customers. One wanted to know if it was always that slow on Black Friday. The store they usually shop at back home in Missouri always had at least a couple of fights going on. The other guy wanted to know where we kept the garbage cans. Seriously? Who buys garbage cans at midnight on Thanksgiving? Of course, I hadn’t seen the ad.

The food they provided was amazing. Big aluminum trays of ham and turkey. Mashed potatoes with bacon. Pies and cookies. Soda and water. The Grinch didn’t make it to dinner.

I was sent to stock toys; an indication of how slow it was. I talked to one customer. She wanted a toy from the ad. We were sold out of it. She huffed and said that she was going to Kmart. I didn’t have Kmart’s ad either. Maybe the Grinch was there and she’d find a soul-mate.

I had just unloaded the third pallet of toys when someone came by and said that we weren’t stocking anymore. We were supposed to straighten all of the end-caps before the end of the shift. Ummm. Okay. You took several of us from straightening to stocking. Now we’re going from stocking to straightening.

I decided to straighten the gift baskets, stocking stuffers, etc. It was the best because I got to play with the stuffed animals. Did you know that if you go into Starbucks and order hot chocolate, you have to get it with mocha but you can buy the real thing (no mocha) in a gift collection? How about they now sell foot-long Twix bars for stockings? (My family got cheated. None of us has a stocking that big.) And cheap perfume companies come out with really horrific smells for their holiday scents?

Friday night was equally quiet, but they gave us really good food again. A couple of nights later, they gave us 15% off coupons good for an entire shopping trip because we worked on Thanksgiving. A couple of nights later we got two cakes for our hard work. Two days ago we had pizza and salad for a quarter with no lost time injuries.

I never did see the Grinch. I guess he got held up at my old store.

12

I Want to Meet the Person Who…

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Came up with the Starbuck’s drink that uses chocolate, caramel, whipped cream, and milk. Oh yeah, and coffee. I read somewhere that the large size has around 1200 calories. Do people really want to use up two-thirds of their recommended daily calorie allotment before they even look at food? I guess you could ask for low fat milk.

Decided that Christmas should start the day after Halloween. Do stores really want to advertise that the chocolate Santas will be two months old before they make it into someone’s stocking?

Designed women’s suede boots to be worn outside. How chic is it to arrive at a party and have to immediately excuse yourself to clean your boots before the salt permanently stains them? Or walk around with stained boots?

Thought up carrying a small dog as an accessory. I’m not convinced the dog really enjoys the crowds and the noise. And I have never seen one allowed to pick out his own food or toys. Not even a Halloween costume.

Decided that women weren’t injuring their feet and calves enough in 3” heels and introduced 4” and 5” shoes. And then thought up the ad campaigns to get young women to wear them.

Introduced the idea of “No Poo.” (Which, thankfully, has fallen out of favor.) And convinced a lot of women that not washing their hair for six weeks would be good for it. Hair is dead. Not shampooing every day to allow the natural oils to do their work? Good. Looking like a refugee from a ‘60s commune? Not so good.

Has convinced some people that a giant inflatable Santa looks good next to a Nativity scene on their front lawn. Two different concepts of Christmas. At least separate them by a sidewalk. Santa blowing over onto Jesus is not festive.

Decided not to commercialize Thanksgiving. You’ve missed untold opportunities for people to hang turkey ornaments on their outside trees, buy chocolate turkeys, and exchange tacky cards. Would you please talk to whoever is in charge of Christmas and Easter?

Sold people on the idea that they need a separate set of dishes for Christmas, Thanksgiving, and Easter. Not serving dishes or candy dishes. Full soup-to-nuts sets. (Does anyone know that phrase anymore?) I know there are people with enough room to store all that stuff. Do they really shop at Walmart?

Designed some parking lots so all the handicapped spots are down one lane rather than across two or three lanes in front of the store. Are you hoping to catch scammers that way? Or do you hate your mother and decided it would be a better outlet than becoming a serial killer? (Too many episodes of Criminal Minds?)

Decided to put “ethnic” vegetables in stores in “non-ethnic” neighborhoods without educating us. I wouldn’t mind trying the yellow, oblong, spiky thing or the green thing that looks like a mace with the long handle and round ball at the end. But there are no pictures (or there are 12 pictures, none of which look like what I have in my hand) and no description of its taste or use. Google is not helpful when you type in “yellow spiky vegetable.” And I don’t want to buy something that is going to make my chicken taste like dirty socks because it’s supposed to be eaten raw.

Designed my car radio with six buttons, but forces me to have two FM, one AM, and three Sirius stations. I don’t have Sirius; I don’t drive enough to justify the cost. With my husband, my son, and me driving the car, it’s easier for me to just listen to whatever is on. I never know whether I’m going to get Tom Petty or The Congos when I turn the key. At least I know I won’t get opera or bluegrass.

Designed the website for our Secretary of State. It wouldn’t let me use the location finder because I wouldn’t let its tracker know where I was. But when I backed up the screen, it gave me the closest office.

8

The De-Snarkification of Cat

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I received some feedback that I may have been a little hard on the (lack of) thought process employed by some of our customers. While I would like to remind everyone that my thoughts are not expressed to the customer (that’s why they’re thoughts not words), I do understand that some people are concerned with the lack of civility in today’s world. Ensuring that I don’t inadvertently insult someone is a valid concern. We never know when the filter between my brain and my mouth might become clogged and not work anymore. (I have met several people with this unfortunate condition.) So I am trying to come up with some more polite ways to address some issues.

Current: Why on earth do you keep ordering chickens when we have forty cases in my cooler? It’s the cheese cooler not the “I still don’t understand how to order” cooler. Improved: I know it’s really hard to gauge how much food to order, being fairly new in the position. Maybe you should see how much was used last year and increase it by 10% rather than 200%.

Current: It’s called a cheese cooler because it’s supposed to be used for cheese, not whatever you can’t find room for. Improved: If you are going to keep getting too much stock, we should probably find someplace to hide it so your boss will quit yelling at you about it. Or maybe you could arrange to clean out your own space so it looks like you have the correct amount.

Current: Stop being so lazy and clean up the messes you make in my cooler. If you spill boxes all over the place moving a cart, pick them up. Improved: It would really make things a lot easier for me if I didn’t walk into the cooler to find it full of boxes that have fallen off one of the carts. I try very hard to load them safely and would really appreciate you helping me with this. You know you can get hurt tripping on things you don’t see.

Current: Why do you think it’s OK to step in front of me to use the time-clock? Is your time more important than mine? Improved: Excuse me. I guess you didn’t see that I was in line to punch in. Just so you know, you would have clocked in at the same time if you had waited for me.

Current: Why do you think I should come to your department and help you? It’s not like you ever do anything to help me. I’m tired of hearing about how important what you do is. I assume you have no idea how much money my area actually makes. Improved: I’m sorry. I really don’t have time to help. I’m the only one in my section and don’t have anyone I can ask to help.

Current: I know it’s a load of ‘whatever’ when you don’t put a cart in my cooler because you don’t do it as well as I do. It’s insulting how stupid you think I am. Improved: Actually, the way I got to be this good was by practicing. If you spend a little time today working on it, it will be easier the next time you try to put something in.

Current: I know you’re the one who made the mess although you’re playing innocent so I have to clean it up. I’m not working with anything that could spill. Improved: I hate the way those containers of olives sometimes spill over when you take off the top. It looks like that one got some olive oil on the floor.

Current: It’s really stupid to order extra sandwich turkey less than a week before Thanksgiving. That’s the same stuff that’s in those big birds they keep selling across the aisle. Improved: Perhaps it would have been better to wait until some of the stuffed feeling from Thanksgiving goes away before asking people to buy a less substantial version of the same meat.

Current: Yes I am using the hand-held inventory controller. That’s why it’s in my hand and I’m putting numbers into it. You can quit standing there trying to intimidate me into giving it to you. Improved: I’m probably going to need this for another few minutes. I can let you know when I’m finished so you don’t have to keep standing there letting your other work pile up. I’m sure there’s time for both of us to do what we need to do.

I could go on, but there’s really no point. I just hope the brain/mouth filter stays functional.