Humore | Adventures in Cheeseland

Hello. My name is Gypsy K. Katt. You have met my sisters Thunder, Onyx, and Angel. We were all invited to spend a few days at Snoops’ and Kommando’s house before Easter. I really didn’t want to come. I forced the humans to make a second trip when I hid during the first one. They were not pleased.

Hiding Cat Meme | Funny cat memes, Dry cat food, Cat memes

When they finally got me over here, I was really unhappy. You see, I spend most of my time alone at home, and I really wasn’t interested in making a bunch of new friends. As soon as I got here, I raced downstairs and found a safe spot to hang out. The humans were really nice. They brought me food and water. They even gave me a litter box. Angel kept me company for a while.

Actually, life was pretty good. The basement in this house has a walkout into the yard, so there is a HUGE Cat TV screen. The humans came down a few times, but I hid. Snoops discovered me and wasn’t very happy. But she left me alone, so we’ve compromised on live and let live. She does take some of my food once in a while, but I’m doing OK. I don’t see much of her anymore.

My humans picked up my furry siblings after a few days, but I was nowhere to be found. No one was too worried – I was eating, drinking, and using the litter box. Since I like high spots, my human grandma (Cat) figured I was hiding in the (unfinished) ceiling. It was still too cold in the basement for the humans to hang out down there, so they left me pretty much alone. They figured I’d come out on my own in a few days.

They were wrong.

About a week later, my human Mom came over. I heard her in the bathroom and cried to her. I just wanted to say hi. When she came downstairs, I was nowhere to be found. I had definitely made myself at home. The same thing happened the next time they visited. I really love them, but having all this space to myself is so cool!

Last weekend, the humans forgot to feed me one day. So I had to forage. (I didn’t want to starve.) I went upstairs to share the kibble. Rats! The humans were at the dining room table and saw me! Had to retreat. Came back a few minutes later to look out the front door. Nice view. But my door-wall downstairs is better.

I saw Kommando. She watched me, a little fluffed up, but didn’t say anything. I left as soon as the humans started to come near. Close call! I’m getting pretty settled in to my new lair. Kommando’s human brother came down later to see if he could talk to me. He got the picture at the top of the page. That’s the last anyone’s seen of me.

I’ve heard them talking. Now that it’s warming up, Cat’s planning to spend more time downstairs to get close to me. I’m not sure what to do. On the one paw, I do miss human companionship. But on another paw, I really like all the freedom here. I’ve been here a little over a month and it’s definitely home-away-from-home.

Maybe I can get a human to move into my new space.

Memes courtesy of Google Images.

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It’s the busiest time of the year at the Halber Home for Traumatized Turkeys. Not only did severe anxiety and panic attacks frequently occur around Thanksgiving, but the population always increased substantially. Most of the residents only stayed a short time, until they were reunited with family, but others had no other place to go.

The home itself was actually acres and acres of woods where the turkeys could roam peacefully and forget about friends and relatives who gave their lives in the name of a traditional Thanksgiving dinner for the humans. Some had barely escaped the same fate, while others only knew that they had lost loved ones at this time of the year.

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Mrs. Thomas, who ran the home, welcomed each resident as they arrived, telling them the rules of the house:

Everyone is welcome.
You can stay as long as you’d like.
No relating horror stories, except with trained staff.
No talking about other residents behind their backs.

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Mrs. Thomas was standing at the entryway when three pigs approached her.

Pig: Hello. My name is Herman. This is Penny and Junior. We’re hoping you can help us.

Mrs. Thomas: Well, I’ll certainly try. What’s the problem?

Herman: We thought we were living with a very kind man. He let us stay in a nice barn and fed us well.

Junior broke in.

Junior: But he was just fattening us up. He’s going to send us out to be smoked as hams for next Easter.

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Mrs. Thomas: My goodness! Are you sure?

Penny: Absolutely. I heard him on the phone. He thinks we’re just dumb animals who don’t understand anything. But he’s wrong.

Mrs. Thomas: That’s terrible. How can I help? I don’t know any pig sanctuaries.

Junior (hesitantly): We thought that maybe we could stay here for a while. Penny has some relatives down South, but it will take a while to make arrangements. And we don’t have any time. We’ve heard that everyone is welcome. We were hoping that includes pigs.

Penny: Yes, please?

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Mrs. Thomas: Hmm. This is rather unusual. We’ve never had anyone but turkeys here before. I’m not sure how the residents would feel about that.

Penny: But we don’t have anyplace else to go. He’s going to find us if we keep walking.

Mrs. Thomas thought for a few minutes. The pigs were getting more nervous. Every time they heard a noise on the road they jumped. They didn’t know what they would do if Mrs. Thomas turned them down.

Mrs. Thomas: As I said, I’m not really sure whether you’d be welcome here. I need to talk with some of the staff.

Herman: How long will that take? We need to keep running if we can’t stay here.

Mrs. Thomas: It shouldn’t take long. Come in and hide in those woods while we decide.

She pointed to a dense group of trees not far from the road. The pigs sighed with relief. At least they were safe for a while. Everyone probably knew they were gone by now.

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Penny: Thank you so much, Mrs. Thomas.

Junior: We’re extremely grateful, even if the rest of it doesn’t work out.

They heard trucks on the road and scattered, the pigs to one side and Mrs. Thomas to the other. Watching the truck move slowly along the road looking at each side, the pigs realized the humans were looking for them.

Human 1: Maybe we should get out and look in the woods.

Human 2: Why bother? Those pigs aren’t smart enough to hide. They couldn’t have gone far. It’s not like they can run with the amount of food they’ve been eating. We’ll spot them soon.

Human 1: We have to. Mr. Jeager said we’d have to pay for them if we can’t find them. I can’t believe they got that gate open. We weren’t gone that long.

Human 2: Just keep looking.

The pigs looked at each other in terror.

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