Tag Archives: Humor

22

A Very Cali Christmas

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Christmas Calico 🎄 : r/cats
Nana Cali has been hosting a family Christmas dinner as long as anyone could remember. She had been doing all the work herself. She always made her family-famous fish stew. There were various kinds of kibble and a creamy eggnog or catnip punch to drink. She welcomed contributions but rarely got them.
It was usually a great time for all involved. But this year things didn’t seem to run as smoothly. It began with the invitations:
Tortoiseshell and calicoes and torbies, oh my! - Way of Cats
Cousin Sally: Nana, you know that I’ve been seeing Richard for months. Why wasn’t he on the chat?
Cousin Ruth: Probably because when he came to the picnic, he spent all of his time complaining about the location and the food.
Cousin Jenny: And he snarfed down enough for a Maine Coon.
Cat On The Phone GIFs | Tenor
(The younger family members had convinced Nana to use a group chat rather than just spreading the word. She was already regretting it.)
Cousin Sally: Well, I’m not coming if he can’t come.
Nana: Sweetie, you’re overreacting. I only sent it to family. There will be plenty of food.
Aunt Gertrude: That reminds me. Can we get something other than fish this year? My Calista really doesn’t like fish.
8 Cats Who Love Fish In Honor Of 'Go Fishing Day' - CatTime
Uncle Dill: You’re welcome to bring whatever you want for her. Mom makes the stew, but she doesn’t mind if others bring additional food.
Aunt Gertrude: Then it’s really not hosting, is it?
Aunt Jess: Do you always have to be so dramatic, Gert? Of course, she’s hosting. It’s at her house. There’s plenty of food and drink. And you’re welcome to bring something more if you want.
Ever seen a cat catching a ride on a pig? 🐷🐱 This is Silo the pig & Opal the cat! Thanks for sharing Jessica Hebert!
Cousin Bruno: Do you know what would be really epic? Let’s get a roast pig!
Cousin Drago: Yeah! That would be the best thing ever!
Nana was very upset. She thought that she had been doing a nice thing, and now it looked like no one was going to be happy. She talked it over with Gramps.
How Do Cats Communicate With Each Other? (It's Complicated.) - Petful
Nana: I think maybe I shouldn’t have the dinner this year.
Gramps: Why not? It’s one of the few times we get to see all of our kids and grandkids.
Nana: They talked me into creating what they call a group chat. No body actually talks to anybody. It seems like they just type whatever they want to in it. I don’t want to make a roast pig.
How this pig and cat became BFFs | story | Kids News
Gramps: A roast pig? Why would you make that? It would be three times as big as you are.
Nana: And they don’t want the fish stew. They want me to make all kinds of other food. I don’t think I want to do it anymore. I think I’m just getting too old.
Gramps read the chat. He was furious. He called their and told them to come over for a family meeting. Soon Gertrude, Dill, Jess, and Moonlight were there. Moonlight didn’t follow the chat and was very confused to see her parents so upset.
What Is a Group of Cats Called?
Gramps: Okay, listen up. Which one of you decided that it would be a good idea to let the entire family weigh in on how Nana does her dinner?
Gertrude: I guess it was me. It’s how the kids make plans, so I thought it would be good for us. It lets everyone contribute to what’s going on.
Gramps: Thanks to your brilliant idea, Nana doesn’t want to do Christmas dinner anymore.
Using Your Smartphone to Keep Your Pet Healthy - The Animal Medical Center
Moonlight: Wait a minute. What? Why?
Nana: Because apparently people are tired of my fish stew. They want more variety. And a roast pig.
Moonlight: That’s ridiculous. I hate social media. Everyone thinks they can say whatever garbage pops into their heads. What idiot suggested a roast pig for a cat family dinner?
How Do I Apologize to My Cat in A Way They Understand? 7 Vet-Approved Ways - Catster
Dill: I think it was my sons. Sorry, Mom. I didn’t realize you’d take them seriously.
Nana: Well, I might not have if Gertrude hadn’t said that I should make something different for Calista. I thought everyone liked my fish stew. I said you were welcome to bring your own dishes if you wanted to.
Jess and Dill glared at Gertrude.
Non-Recognition Aggression Syndrome In Cats - Good Pet Parent
Jess: Tell Dad what you said to that suggestion.
Gertrude looked embarrassed.
Gertrude: I didn’t mean it the way it sounded.
Your Cat Etiquette Guide: What to Keep in Mind If You're Hosting Thanksgiving - Vetstreet | Vetstreet
Gramps: What did you say?
Gertrude: I said it didn’t really sound like hosting if we had to bring our own food.
Gramps: Why would you say that?
Ever get bored and drink with your cat ? This is a chicken Churu flavored Icelandic spring water Meow-tini. I had a vesper on my side. : r/cocktails
Gertrude: I don’t know. It was probably the two niptinis I had. It was a bad day.
Dill: If you’ve messed up our Christmas dinner, Gertrude, you better run because I’m coming after you.
Jess: Yep. It’s the highlight of the holiday season.
Moonlight: You’re not really going to cancel the dinner, are you, Mom?
How to keep your cat from jumping on the table while you're eating - Dr. Marty Becker
Nana: I don’t know. It really hurt to hear that you aren’t happy with it.
Jess: We didn’t say we wanted to change anything. It was just the princess over there.
Gertrude: I’m sorry. I didn’t think about how it sounded. I can make some turkey if you’ll keep the rest of it.
Happy Thanksgiving!! From Maya and her giant turkey leg 🍗 We're so grateful to be a part of such an incredible community, and to get to know all of you!! 💛💛 (For
The cats looked at Nana and waited.
Nana: Okay. I guess it’s back on.
Gramps: And the group chat is off.
Merry Christmas Animated Images Free GIFs | Tenor
Pictures courtesy of Google Images.
17

Cats Christmas Shopping

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Snoops: Hey guys. It’s time to get our presents for the humans.

Sgt Stripes: Why are we getting them presents?

Snoops: It’s almost Christmas. I thought maybe this year we should all get together and get one gift for each human.

Onyx: I think the gift of me should be sufficient.

Gypsy: What’s that supposed to mean?

Angel: You know she’s always on a princess vibe. She probably thinks her mere presence is a gift.

Onyx: Well, I am an emotional support cat. Besides, for the first couple of years I pretty much stayed up in Blondie’s room. Now I’ve joined everyone else downstairs. So the humans can all enjoy the house panther.

Gypsy: You mean chasing the house panther. You’re so clueless you went out on the inside porch and almost got frozen.

Onyx: That little blonde kid let me in.

Snoops: Ladies, let’s focus. I was thinking more of buying something for the humans.

Sgt Stripes: I know how to use Mr Google. I bet he can help us find stuff.

Gypsy: What are we using for money?

Sgt Stripes: I’ve been watching when Mom buys stuff. All she has to do is press a button and stuff comes to the house.

Snoops: Hmm. He’s right. I’ve seen her do it too.

Sgt Stripes: I think Snoops is right. We should get the humans gifts. I was listening to the humans talk. I’m pretty sure they’re getting us something good. Mom said something about extra money and new cat tree.

Angel: Really? That would be great. I could get away from Sgt Stripes when he wants to play pounce.

Snoops: Excellent point. If we’re sitting in a tree, we could swat at him.

Sgt Stripes: Seriously? Why can’t you guys try playing with me? It would be fun. Ask Gypsy. She’s a lot of fun for a girl cat.

Gypsy: Thank you, Sarge. What kind of gifts are you thinking about, Snoops?

Snoops: I have two favorite spots: Chewy and PetSmart. They’re not really pets, so I think we should look at Chewy.

Sgt Stripes: Excellent idea! That’s one of the places that fill in the payment. Let’s ask Mr. Google to take us there.

Angel: They have a lot of choices. How do we know where to start?

Onyx: I know! One of the small humans likes to curl up in that big cat bed upstairs. We can get one for each of them.

Snoops: That sounds like a good idea. What else do they have?

Sgt Stripes: It’s sorted by type of animal. Nothing says humans.

Gypsy: I saw them use kitty litter to get the car unstuck in the snow. Let’s get them some of that.

Snoops: How about a litter mat? Maybe they’ll stop tracking snow inside. I hate stepping on it with bare paws.

Onyx: And maybe some treats. i wonder if they come in lentil. That seems to be a favorite.

Snoops:You’re going to have to look in the dog section. No self-respecting cat would eat those.

Sgt Stripes: I see sweet potato, carrots, and kale.

Angel: That sounds terrible.

Sgt Stripes: There’s one that has super foods in it.

Angel: What’s a super food?

Sgt Stripes: I have no idea. But I think we should get them. Nothing’s too good for our humans.

Snoops: That sounds like a good selection. Let’s do it.

Onyx: I agree.

The other cats nodded.

Gypsy: Now we have to figure out how to get it in the house and hide it until Christmas.

14

Beaverbrook Christmas Tree Farm

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The Beaverbrook Christmas Tree Farm had been in DW Kasto’s family for generations. They were builders during the warm months and ran the farm up until it was time to settle in for the winter. They prided themselves on having the best selection of trees in all of Cheeseland. The day after Thanksgiving was always their busiest day with everyone hoping to get the perfect tree. DW and his sons Calvin and Elbert ran the tree operation. His wife, Doreen and the other ladies ran the shop and bakery. The smells of pine and cinnamon were everywhere.

This year was no different. Early in the morning, the lot was already full of families looking at this year’s trees. It was a cold, sunny day. Perfect for tree shopping.

Katia Kali: Ooh Mama! Look at all of the trees. How many do you think there are?

Mama Kali: I don’t know sweetie. (She was looking at the price tags. It was cheaper to buy one of the pre-cut trees. But that wasn’t as much fun as showing the beavers which tree they had selected.)

Katia Kali: Look at the pretty ones over here. Can we get one of these?

The Kastos had tipped some of the trees in silver or gold. They were in a separate display. It was all rather overwhelming for a small cat.

Mama Kali: Are you sure you don’t want to go out and look for one the beavers can cut for us?

Katia Kali: No, I want this one. I’m already cold.

Mama Kali: Okay. I’ll take the tag to the counter so we can pay.

The payment counter was inside the shop. The shop was filled with ornaments and other Christmas decorations. There was also steamed cream, flavored waters, and all types of baked goods.

Katia Kali: Mama, can I get an ornament? Or a catnip cookie? Or a wreath?

Before Mama Kali had a chance to answer, a very large, very angry Forest Cat ran in. It was chasing a frightened dog of uncertain lineage..

Forest Cat: Who’s in charge here?

Doreen Kasto: I’m the owner. What seems to be the problem?

Forest Cat: I brought my two little daughters to pick out a tree. We were looking at one tree, and this animal came up and “marked it,” if you know what I mean. It was disgusting. Do you really allow that type of behavior.

Dog: My name is Maurice, and I am a waiter at a fine dining establishment. I am not an “animal”.

Forest Cat: Fine, Maurice. You relieved yourself in front of my little girls, right on the tree we were looking at.

Maurice: That is why I felt the need to stake my claim I was also interested in that tree.

Doreen noticed that a crowd was growing, and she really didn’t know what to do. She called DW and asked him to come inside.At the same time, a very agitated rabbit spoke up.

Rabbit: I know you. You’re the same dog that marked my tree. I can’t take it home smelling of dog.

Maurice: You act like that’s a bad thing. I’ll have you know that I am a very clean dog.

DW Kasto: What’s going on here?

Doreen Kasto: It seems that this dog has been marking trees.

Maurice: How else will I remember which tree to have cut down?

DW Kasto: That sounds reasonable.

Stella Squirrel: How many trees were you planning to buy? I saw you marking at least four.

Maurice: I was having trouble making up my mind. i didn’t want to lose track of the ones I was considering.

Forest Cat: Ugh. No one else is going to want a tree that smells of you. And you think it’s reasonable, DW?

DW Kastro: I didn’t realize he’s done it more than once. That is unacceptable. I’m afraid you’ll need to leave Maurice.

Maurice: What about my tree? I should be able to get my tree. No one told me I couldn’t mark more than one tree. It’s not posted anywhere.

DW Kasto: You need to leave. Now.

Maurice: This is an outrage. I’m going to tell everyone how unfairly I was treated. I have over 1,500 followers on AnimalWire. You’ll regret this.

DW Kasto: My apologies to everyone. Please enjoy your trip to Beaverbrook.

Mama Kali: Let’s pay for the tree and get out of here Katia. We can make cookies when we get home.

Images created in ChatGPT and Copilot.

24

The Power of Angel’s Healing Paws

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Blondie recently had another foot surgery. As such, she’s living downstairs until further notice. Angel has used  this opportunity to use her healing powers. Today’s interview is with Sgt Stripes, and is focused on Angel’s healing ways. 

Sgt Stripes: “So, Angel, I have to admit, I didn’t think you’d ever be in a position to be interviewed!” 

Angel: “Why not? I’m beautiful, I’m brilliant. Honestly, I should be featured more often.”

Sgt Stripes: “Yes, but you’re also notorious for not having a human.”

Angel: “That’s not my fault. Onyx stole Blondie before I could.”

Sgt Stripes: “Lately, Onyx has been ignoring Blondie.” 

Angel: “Exactly! So I’m using this chance to not only use my healing paws power, but also to get a human!” 

Sgt Stripes: “Tell us a little about your healing paws power.”

Angel: “It’s pretty cool. Whenever a human is hurt or sick, I just have to sit on them and purr. And magically, they start to heal!” 

Sgt Stripes: “That is pretty cool. What’s your current routine?”

Angel: “Well, I mostly work overnights. Blondie insists on going into the office daily.”

Sgt Stripes: “That sounds pretty annoying.” 

Angel: “It is. I could do so much more if she would just stay home! But our routine is pretty much, she gets home and has dinner. Then she reads to the little humans. I avoid the little humans, so I’m not around for that part. But then comes my favorite part of the night; the little humans go upstairs, and Blondie settles down on the couch!” 

Sgt Stripes: “What’s so cool about Blondie being on the couch?”

Angel: “Well, she’s sleeping down here currently, so I get to cuddle with her. I’ve never had a human to cuddle with. It’s really nice.”

Sgt Stripes: “That it is. So that’s it? You just cuddle with her?”

Angel: “No, I also purr, give her kitty kisses and head bonks, and, of course, I share in her snacks. I work hard; I deserve a treat.” 

Sgt Stripes: “How did you know she needed your healing paws power?”

Angel: “Well, she came home one day last week, and the tall human had to carry her in. Her foot is in this huge cast/boot thing, and she can’t walk. She has a roller to get around on. And she moved all of her stuff into the living room because she’s living on the couch. That was a pretty good indicator that my services were needed.” 

Sgt Stripes: “I see. So what happens when she can walk again? Will you join her upstairs?”

Angel: “I haven’t decided. I don’t really like going upstairs. But I really like having a human.”

Sgt Stripes: “Are you worried you’ll have to chase Onyx off?”

Angel: “Not really. Onyx has been really aloof lately. Her loss is my gain!” 

Sgt Stripes: “What’s the difference between healing paws and simple cuddles?”

Angel: “Simple cuddles are for a short period of time, and may not include kneading, head bonks, snack sharing, or kitty kisses. Healing paws offers a deeper connection and a stronger bond to your injured or ill human. 

Sgt Stripes: “Well, thank you for your time today, Angel. I’ll let you get back to your healing duties.” 

Angel: “Thanks, Sarge. You’re pretty cool to talk to.”

21

Hibernation at Forest Dreams

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.Tips for Mother's Day from BEAR SANCTUARY Arbesbach

Marva and Barney were going to be going into hibernation for the first time since the cubs moved into their own dens. Marva was not looking forward to the foraging that always preceded their winter nap. looked up from her computer. 

Computer Programming | Hall of Beorn

Marva: Dolly just sent me information about the best place to go this winter.

Barney: What do you mean by go away this winter? We hibernate. All we need to do is make sure we’ve eaten enough and have enough covering to stay warm.

Marva: Don’t be so old-fashioned. Everyone is going to lodges for the winter now.

Barney: Who is everyone? I don’t know anyone who is leaving the neighborhood for hibernation.

Beekeeping 101: How To Prevent Bears From Ruining Your Beehives

Marva: Well, Dolly’s cousin Ellie is lodging, and so are all her friends.

Barney: Isn’t Ellie the one who thought it would be a good idea to build hives so she could raise her own honey?

Marva: It would have been a good idea if she hadn’t had the hives so close to the den. Who would have thought those cute little bees could be so violent? She still has scars on the side of her nose. Besides, this is different.

Black bear crashes Thanksgiving dinner in Manitoba - Cottage Life

Barney: So what’s her brilliant idea this time?

Marva: Come over and look at the pictures. It really looks nice. It’s called Forest Dreams.

Barney: It looks like some kind of barracks.

ESA - Bear sleeping

Marva: No, silly. There’s a main room and hallways going out in a bunch of directions to the sleep rooms. The main room is where you eat until you’re at hibernation weight. Then you go to one of the sleeping dens for the winter.

Barney: That looks like our den. Why do you want to spend money to go someplace that’s just like home?

How to Care for a Pet Rabbit | Reviews by Wirecutter

Marva: It’s like our place, but without all the work. It would be a treat.

Barney: Why are the ads full of rabbits? I don’t want to sleep with a bunch of rabbits. They don’t hibernate.

Marva: That’s the beauty of it. The rabbits do all the work for us. They gather the honey, nuts and berries. They even have fish and insects to eat. It’s an all-you-can-eat buffet. Then they clean while we sleep. There’s more food to get us started in the spring.

Barney: I don’t know it seems kind of silly to me. Bears have been hibernating for years without the help of rabbits.

Prepare for the Bear | Outside Bozeman

Marva: Wouldn’t it be nice to just show up and get all the food you want rather than needing to fight other bears?

Barney: I guess. If it’s really what you want to do, we can try it.

Barney and Marva arrive at Forest Dreams, and register for their room. They hear a loud, angry bear at one of the desks.

Barney: My goodness. He really doesn’t sound happy. I wonder what’s wrong.

March Napness contest: Sleepy sanctuary bears get bracket treatment

Marva: I think I heard something about sharing space. I wonder if he didn’t get the room he wanted.

Clerk: Unfortunately, he didn’t read the agreement. It says that in case of overbooking, we reserve the right to make you share your space.

Marva: For the entire winter?

Clerk. It usually happens if we have two single bears taking up two of our sleeping pods. There’s plenty of room for at least two bears in each of the pods.

How to Care for a Pet Rabbit | Reviews by Wirecutter

Barney: Thank goodness there are two of us.

Clerk: That’s correct, we won’t be putting anyone in with you unless there’s an emergency. Have you read the rules for staying at Forest Dreams?

Marva: I read what’s on your website.

Clerk: Then you’re aware that once you’ve moved into your pod, you are not allowed to leave Forest Dreams until the end of the winter. We lock the doors on November 15 and open them on March 15.

Can you see a bear in the winter? – Kodiak Wildlife Products | Bear Spray | Bear Bangers | Wild Life Safety Kits | Bear Bells

Barney: Isn’t that a little early for a full hibernation? Can we stay longer if there’s still snow?

Clerk: Unfortunately, the building is used in the summer as a camp for humans. We need to clean it thoroughly between groups. They really don’t like the old fish smell.

Barney: How long does the all-you-can-eat buffet stay open?

What Happened To Our Pumpkin? | Lake Lure North Carolina

Clerk: It’s pretty much until we run out of food. It depends on the clientele. Generally the honey and fish are gone pretty quickly. But we usually have enough insects and nuts to last until everyone is asleep.

Barney: What if I want a mid-winter snack?

Clerk: We have a fully stocked granola bar all winter.

Spring is here, and with it some very hungry bears - NDOW

Marva: And in the spring?

Clerk: We send you on your way with a basket of goodies. All bear-approved.

Barney: I guess we better get eating.

Come back in the spring, when we’ll find out whether Barney and Marva enjoyed their stay at Forest Dreams.

Two Bears

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

22

Welcome to the Neighborhood

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Cats Follow Me Into The Front Yard

Herb and Marj had just moved into their new home. They had wanted to move into an inter-species neighborhood with good schools to raise their kittens. After much searching, they thought they had found the perfect place in Whispering Pines. They moved into a nice bungalow that had been owned by a hound couple. They were starting to unpack when they heard a knock at the door. They opened it to find a squirrel standing there.

Talking Squirrel - Apps on Google Play

Harry: Hello folks! Welcome to the neighborhood. I’m Harry, and I live right across the street.

Herb: Hello, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Herb, and this is my wife, Marj.

Harry: The pleasure is mine. I see you bought the Bassetts’ place. Lovely couple. I’m sure you’ll find everything in great shape. They were very happy here.

Marj: It does seem very well-kept. Did they move?

Why Try Catnip On Your Cat? And How It Works. | Preventive Vet

Harry: It was kind of strange. They were such a beautiful couple. One day they were here, the next they were gone. No one guessed that they were running an illegal catnip operation.

Marj: Oh my. What is illegal catnip? You can buy it at any store.

Harry: I don’t really know. This was very high-grade stuff. Sometimes cats would come and you wouldn’t see them come out for hours.

Herb: This used to be a catnip den? For getting blissed out for hours.

Cat | Breeds, Origins, History, Body Types, Senses, Behavior, & Heredity | Britannica

Harry: That’s the rumor. I’m sure they cleaned it up before they sold the place to you.

Herb: What about the clients? Do they know the place has been sold?

Harry: I’m not sure. I wouldn’t worry about it. They all seemed like decent folks.

Marj: I guess we’ll see about that.

How to make your garden hedgehog-friendly

They hear another knock. They open the door to find a hedgehog.

Penelope: Hello. I’m your next-door neighbor, Penelope.

Herb: Hello. It’s very nice to meet you. Is everyone this friendly here?

Penelope: Pretty much so. A few animals were thinking that we should start limiting the number of some of the species, so we don’t end up with too many cats or dogs. But I think that whoever wants to live here should be allowed to live here.

This Hedgehog and Cat make the cutest pair! The Odd Couples

Marj: Some of our neighbors didn’t want cats moving in?

Penelope: Well, it’s nothing personal. I’m sure it will be fine for you.

Marj: No one told us that cats might not be welcome. I thought all species were welcome her.

Harry: Don’t listen to her. She just likes to talk.

Two baby hedgehogs are standing on a ledge, looking at the camera. Scene is playful and cute 49857231 Stock Photo at Vecteezy

There’s a light tapping at the door.

Penelope: That must be Lisette. She’s my sister. She lives over a couple of streets.

Lisette: Hi! I’m Penelope’s sister, Lisette. I wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood.

Marj: Thank you. Do any of you have children? The main reason we moved here was because of the schools.

Domestic cat kittens playing in garden - Stock Image - C041/6994 - Science Photo Library

Lisette: Oh yes. Penny and I both have little ones.

Marj: Oh, that’s wonderful! Where do they play? Is there a park close by?

Penelope: Well, there is a park. But we don’t really spend much time there.

Marj: Why not?

cheetah ready to pounce

Lisette: Some of the bigger animals like to play a game they call “Pounce”. It involves them jumping out at the little ones. We can’t get them to understand that the smaller animals don’t want to feel like prey.

Herb: There should be rules against that.

Lisette: Apparently it’s not against the rules unless they actually jump on someone. It’s rather scary for the little ones.

Herb: I can imagine. Is this a pretty quiet neighborhood?

I hear coyotes howling. Does that mean they have just killed something? - Why do coyotes howl and yip? | Urban Coyote Research

Harry: Oh yes. No one is allowed to make loud noises from sundown to sunrise.

Penelope: Except it only really applies to machines and music.

Marj: What other type of noise would their be?

Lisette: They don’t really think of it as noise, but the canines are allowed to howl whenever they feel the need.

Scared Cats - What to Know and What to Do - Edmonton Vet | Gateway Veterinary Centre

Marj: That sounds rather frightening.

Harry: It’s really not bad once you get used to it.

The animals talk for a while longer before leaving Herb and Marj. After they say their good-byes, Herb and Marj look at each other.

Herb: I wonder if it’s too late to change our minds.

How to Introduce Two Cats: A Step-by-Step Guide for a Peaceful Transition - Perfect Petzzz

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

24

The Big Chill (Feline Edition)

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Greetings everyone. It’s me, Snoops. It seems like a very long time since I’ve talked with you. It seems like every time I start to say something, someone…

Sgt Stripes: What’re you up to Snoops? Not trying to hijack the blog are you?

Snoops: How could I hijack it? I started it. With Kommando, remember?

Sgt Stripes: Not really. I wasn’t around then.

Snoops: My point. Exactly.

Sgt Stripes: But she’s gone. And I’ve taken her place, right?

Snoops (growling): You have not taken her place, you big goofball. No one can take her place.

Sgt Stripes: Don’t get mad, Snoops. I didn’t mean it like that.

Snoops: What did you mean?

Sgt Stripes: Don’t you remember? You added me as co-owner of the blog.

Snoops: Yes, I did. What’s your point?

Sgt Stripes: I just wanted to know what you were going to talk about?

Snoops: I was going to tell everyone about the barely tolerable living conditions the past week or so.

Gypsy: You mean how we almost froze to death?

Angel: It really was unacceptable.

Onyx: Especially for us smaller cats.

Sgt Stripes: And it went on for days.

Gypsy: Did you hear Mom’s extremely lame excuse? She said she wasn’t really paying attention because it’s not that late in the season. Snoops, apparently your original human didn’t really believe in turning on the heat until November 1, regardless of the weather. That’s downright inhumane.

Sgt Stripes: Then when my humans was complaining about it, she told him that he’d have to wait until she could call the repairman in the morning. And he was already sick!

Snoops: It gets even worse. When she called in, she said it wasn’t an emergency. We had to wait four more days for them to come. Something about needing to take time off work.

Gypsy: She didn’t take any time off work. She brought the work here. She could have done that any time. It was really cold!

Sgt Stripes: I don’t think the humans really understood how bad it was. They were gone during the day and had blankets and electric paw warmers.

Snoops: I think Mom finally understood on the day she stayed home waiting for the guy to fix everything. It was only 48 degrees inside she said. And her handwriting was really bad because of it. I don’t know what any of that means, but she was a lot more sympathetic to us.

Sgt Stripes: She even got blankets for each of the kitties.

Angel: We shared.

Gypsy: I would get a good spot, then you’d kick me out.

Angel: Then Sarge would kick me out. It’s a good thing there were enough to go around.

Snoops: I spent that last day on her lap. I was helping her work.

Onyx: It was a really pretty day. I was sunning in the window.

Snoops: Until you decided that you wanted to sit on the inside porch.

Onyx: What’s wrong with that?

Snoops: When Mom opened the door for the repairman, you took off outside again.

Gypsy: Mom was not pleased.

Angel: The guy was really upset. He tried to help her bring you back.

Onyx: She’s way too slow for me. It was a beautiful day.

Gypsy: So why’d you come back in?

Onyx: The repairman was really nice. I thought he’d give me treats. But he brought me back inside. Then I got locked in the study for the rest of the time he was here. It was humiliating. I don’t think Mom trusted me after that.

Snoops: I can’t imagine why.

Gypsy: At least it got fixed.

Sgt Stripes: I heard the guy talking to Mom. It needs something called a thermostat. I guess a lot of humans need them because he had to order one.

Snoops: So why did it get warmer?

Sgt Stripes: He did some kind of adjustment and showed Mom what to do in case it goes off again.

Gypsy: So there’s still a chance we could all freeze to death.

Onyx: That is really annoying.

21

Onyx Dishes the Dirt

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Hello Everyone. It’s me, Onyx. I saw that Gypsy and Angel were talking about me last week. I’m here to set the record straight. It is true that I got out of the house a few times while the weather was still warm. But I’m not the same cat who moved in here a couple of years ago.

Blondie rescued me from the Humane Society when I was young. We bonded and were pretty much inseparable at our old place. It was a good life. But it was loud and crowded. None of us really minded getting more space. Gypsy was a little overwhelmed, but she finally seems to be relaxing a bit.

After we had to move out, both Blondie and I were pretty traumatized, and we stuck together. When she had to go to the hospital the first year, I stayed in our room almost entirely. I generally ignored the “upstairs cats,” Sgt Stripes and Gypsy. I just hung out and waited.

By this summer, I was a lot braver. I started to go into Mom’s room and let her give me pets and treats. Blondie was gone for a long time. I decided it was time to explore the rest of the house. I really liked it on the freezer in the laundry room. I could watch everything from on high.

I’ve been making a lot of changes. I even eat wet food once in a while. I’ve discovered I like fish a lot. I like hanging out in the kitchen. You never know when something yummy is going to appear.

But enough about me. I have things to tell you about all of the cats. The really big news is that Sgt Stripes and Gypsy are a “thing.” They got close when they were both upstairs. But she’s the only one who really bonded with him out of all of us lady cats.

Gypsy has gotten pretty close with Snoops too. When Mom works from home, they tag-team so that one of them is always in her lap. And they don’t even hiss at each other to move. Gypsy has never been social. It’s weird/

Gypsy’s really spoiled. The heat is off in the house. (It’s supposed to be fixed on Tuesday – whatever that is.) Mom put a towel in a clothes basket so Gypsy wouldn’t get cold. Nobody offered me a blanket.

And that big tabby has stolen my prime spot on the freezer. One day, he just bounced out and took it. He’s done the same thing with my eating spot in the kitchen. He just jumps up and sits there in my spot. He is so rude! Mom told me to just ignore him, that he’s really gentle. She wouldn’t want someone three times her size to take her seat.

I can’t forget Angel. She’s pretty much okay. She really wants my spot with Blondie. She hangs out with her when they watch TV in the living room. Blondie is having foot surgery again soon, so she’ll be staying downstairs for awhile. I need to make sure Angel doesn’t steal my human entirely.

I think the last thing is that Snoops fell asleep on guard duty the other day. She was supposed to be making sure the cookies got safely put away. I guess she got bored. It was pretty funny to watch. At least she hasn’t fallen asleep on mouse patrol. She really is the only excellent mouser in the group.

I guess that’s all the news here. Hope you enjoyed the rundown.

24

Onyx is NOT a Most Excellent Kitty

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Gypsy: It looks like someone wants to turn the Belleville Three into the Belleville Two.

Angel: What do you mean? We’re finally getting along. I haven’t hissed at you in a long time.

Gypsy: Not you. Onyx. She’s acting like she wants to break up the team.

Angel: She has been acting a little weird, even for her. I thought when Blondie got home she’d disappear upstairs. But she’s been sleeping on the freezer or the bag of paper towels.

Gypsy: She even comes out for breakfast.

Angel: Yeah, and she doesn’t even eat wet food. She’s got Mom trained to give her treats in the morning.

Gypsy: Did you see what happened this morning?

Angel: You mean sitting in the sink?

Gypsy: Mom gave her a bowl of water in the sink so she would stop licking the faucet. Like she’s too good to share with the rest of us.

Angel: She’s not used to sharing. She used to stay in Blondie’s room all the time. She had everything to herself.

Gypsy: She’s giving up a pretty sweet deal. She was always treated like she was better than us.

Angel: It’s strange that she’s started going outside too. She’s been an indoor kitty her whole life. 

Gypsy: It’s pretty rude, if you ask me. Blondie spent her time away missing Onyx, and now Onyx is pretty much ignoring her.

Angel: Can you believe that she got out last Friday, and no one realized that she wasn’t just being anti-social? In the past, there would have been a massive cat hunt until someone found her.

Gypsy: Yeah. She had to come back herself the next day. Blondie was pretty frantic looking for her.

Angel: In the humans’ defense, she got out when it was dark and no one saw her leave. It’s been crazy around here. 

Gypsy: And the small humans still need some training. The big humans know to close the inside porch door before they open the house door, but the little humans can’t see to get it coordinated when they come home.

Angel: And it takes forever for them to go in or out. One little human opens one door and keeps it open while the other one comes in. They don’t seem to understand they are part of the problem, not part of the solution.

Gypsy: Yesterday, one of them opened the door and went outside by himself when Mom drove up. Onyx was right behind him. Mom and Blondie had to track her down with treats. And she was really crabby when she got back in.

Angel: She is fast. And persistent. This morning Mom had to hold her back when our human brother went out. Twice.

Gypsy: Mom gave Onyx treats right before she left so she’d be preoccupied.

Angel: That’s a pretty good trick. She’s used it on Sarge too.

Gypsy: He’s not as dedicated to getting out as Onyx is.

Angel: I think Onyx is kinda dumb. It’s starting to get cold. Why would she want to go outside?

Gypsy: Agreed. The warm stuff is inside. And so is the food.

Angel: I wonder if she’s still Blondie’s favorite. She’s getting to be pretty high maintenance. She’s always been pretty annoying to the rest of us cats. Now she’s trying it on the humans.

Gypsy: Probably. She still has the small humans, and they are extremely high maintenance.

Angel: Good point. Onyx probably just enjoys seeing the humans chasing after her.

Gypsy: We are the only two who haven’t tried to escape this fall. That has to be good for our House Cat ranking.

Angel: Excellent point.

10

Yak Express in a Changing Economy

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Most Dangerous Yak Bull Meeting Amazing 😍 || Village Animals ||

Boris Yak, head of Yak Express, is holding a meeting with other members of the Yak Express board. This meeting is focused on how the new tariffs have been slowing down business. 

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Boris: “Alright, our profits have dropped nearly 30% this quarter. Does anyone have any idea why?”

Darlene: “Well, the humans have that new tariff in place.”

Oliver: “What on earth is a tariff? Is it yummy?”

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Darlene: “No, silly, it’s a tax that humans pay. It makes things more expensive.”

Oliver: “Oh. Well, I know humans hate paying more for their luxuries.”

Boris: “That is an excellent point. And now humans have to pay extra for smaller shipments.” 

Yaks at Everest Base Camp and their adaptations to high altitudes

Todd: “That stinks. We yaks mostly transport smaller shipments.” 

Darlene: “We have to. It’s the only way to ensure quality and safety.”

Boris: “Of course. But that would certainly explain the decrease in business.” 

Why Tibetan Yaks are Indispensable in Tibet?

Oliver: “We need to figure out how to offset costs.”

Todd: “Well, I think we need to put a hiring freeze in place. We may even have to discontinue lesser traveled routes.”

Darlene: “We also need to become more selective with the deliveries we take. No more heavy but cheap items.”

VISHAL SINGH على X: "Sad Yaks from Laddakh at Kufri Himachal Pradesh. Especially brought from their homeland for tourists to take pictures on them. Stop this cruelty ! https://t.co/cPcwvoSFQQ" / X

Boris: “Both are excellent ideas. I do hate to say this, but we may need to put some of our less productive yaks on furlough.”

Todd: “Let’s save that as a last resort.” 

Boris: “Of course. In the meantime, let’s do a review of our yaks and our items serviced. We may be able to figure out which ones to get rid of.” 

Himalayan Yak, now a Food animal: FSSAI | India Business and Trade

Darlene: “Well, there’s Petal, who delivers mostly food. I think we need to keep her on.”

Oliver: “There’s Wilbur, who delivers toys and electronics. The humans may be grumpy if we slow or stop his services.”

Todd: “There’s Kendall, who delivers furniture. Seems like an awful lot of work for one yak. I think we can pause Kendall’s route.” 

Silent soldiers of the extreme, or why I'm glad I'm not a wild yak

Boris: “We also have Sam, who delivers luxury items like tuna and heated beds. Clearly, we need to keep him on, or there will be riots”. 

The yaks continue to discuss routes. Finally, they’ve made their decisions on who to cut.

Boris: “Alright yaks, I think we’ve done a good job today. Does anyone have any closing thoughts? 

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The other yaks shake their heads. They’re all ready for the meeting to be over.

Boris: “Alright! Let’s go and have a nice bowl of steamed grass!”

A yak is eating hay from a bowl. Yak eating hay. - PICRYL - Public Domain Media Search Engine Public Domain Search

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.