21

Jake Rabbit, the Very Bad Hibernation Lodger

Teddy wants everyone to see his party hat and give him compliments : r/ Rabbits

Suzy Bunny had been subletting a room from Wally Woodchuck and his family for several months. She was a very sweet bunny, and they treated her like a daughter. Towards the end of summer, she brought her boyfriend Jake home to meet the Woodchucks.

Suzy: Everyone, this is Jake.

They all greeted him and invited him for dinner. He was a very charming rabbit and soon won everyone over with his jokes and laid-back manner. It wasn’t long before he was visiting every day.

When the weather began to cool down, Jake had an idea.

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Jake: Suzy, how about I move in with you for the winter? I need a place to get out of the snow, and it’s really nice here under the porch.

Suzy: You mean like we would be living together? That sounds awesome!

Jake: Yeah! Do you think it would be okay with the Woodchucks?

Suzy: I don’t know why they would mind they seem to really like you.

Jake: You should ask. I know they think of you like family.

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Suzy approached Wally and Wanda, explaining that she would like to have Jake move in. They looked at each other.

Wally: You know that we love you, Suzy. But we hibernate in the winter, and we’re just getting ready to settle down. We think it’s fine for you to stay here, but we really don’t know about having anyone else in the burrow.

Wanda: He seems like a nice young man, but rabbits don’t hibernate. We really need our rest.

Suzy was disappointed, but she went back to tell Jake that the answer was no. He didn’t say anything right away. But the next time he visited for dinner, he brought it up.

Two bunnies cuddling (Melts my Heart) : r/aww

Jake: You know, winter is coming and I really need someplace to stay in the bad weather. I’ve been dating Suzy for about six months now, and it would be perfect if I could just move in with her.

Wally: Where are you now, Jake?

Jake: I’m with my parents, but I don’t really belong there, being a fully grown rabbit and all.

Wally: That’s probably true. They’ll be having little ones in the spring, more likely than not.

Jake: Exactly. And I really don’t have any privacy. It’s not like I can take Suzy back there.

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Wanda: We really like you, Jake. But we’re concerned about having someone coming and going at all hours while we’re trying to hibernate. Suzy is very quiet, and we think that she’ll be fine. We really don’t know you very well.

Jake: You won’t even know I’m here. I promise.

Suzy: You have my word. I’ll make sure he’s as quiet as I am.

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The Woodchucks thought about it for a few days, and decided to let Jake move in. It was only a couple of weeks before hibernation, and they were busy gathering their nesting materials and eating extra to put on some weight. The only thing that they really noticed was that he seemed to have a lot of friends all of a sudden.

Wally: Well, this is good-night for the season. The kids are all settled in. Wanda and I wanted to see if you had any questions before we turn in.

Jake: Where do you keep the extra food? I noticed that there really isn’t much in the pantry.

Wanda: We don’t keep food over the winter. We’re sleeping. It’s up to you and Suzy to feed yourselves.

Jake: Oh. I guess I hadn’t really thought it through. That makes sense.

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Suzy: It’s okay, sweetie. You’ve foraged before haven’t you?

Jake: Not, really. I lived at home. Guess I’ll have to pick it up.

Wally: Anything else?

Jake: Exactly how soundly do you guys sleep? I mean, what if there’s an emergency?

Wally: What kind of emergency?

Jake: I don’t know. What if we need you?

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Wally and Wanda looked at each other.

Wally: Good night, Jake. Have a good winter, Suzy.

Suzy: Sleep well, guys. See you in the spring.

Jake started hopping around.

Jake: This is really weird. They’re going to sleep for months?

Suzy: That’s how hibernation works. We’ll be fine.

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The Woodchucks get settled in for the winter, and are peacefully hibernating. Suzy and Jake were adjusting to life together.

Jake: We should have a party! You know, like a housewarming!

Suzy: We can’t have a party. The Woodchucks are hibernating.

Jake: How about something small? Just a few of our friends.

Reluctantly, Suzy agreed. A few rabbits came over one night. Suzy checked on the Woodchucks, and they seemed to be fine.

Group of rabbits eating food in the garden | Rabbit feeding, What to feed  rabbits, Rabbit eating

Jake: See? I told you it would be okay.

Jake got into the habit of having a few of his buddies over every couple of days. One or two of them seemed to be pretty much living at the burrow. Suzy didn’t really notice because she was busy outside of the burrow. She really liked winter. Jake didn’t notice that the Woodchucks were a little restless in the their hibernation.

Jake: Suzy, this is great! It’s like having our own place. It’s like the Woodchucks aren’t even here.

Suzy: I’m getting nervous, Jake. This isn’t our place, and we really don’t know how much noise they won’t hear. I promised them I would be quiet.

Jake: Relax. They’re out for the season.

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Jake decided to throw a party. Suzy went along because she really liked Jake. Things were going pretty well until a bunch of rabbits started dancing. They were shaking the whole burrow. Suddenly, a very large form stood in the doorway.

Wally: I thought I told you that you needed to be quiet?

Jake didn’t even see him. Suzy poked him to attention.

Jake: What?

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Wally: I TOLD YOU TO BE QUIET IF YOU WANTED TO STAY HERE!

Jake: Did we wake you?

Wally: Of course, you woke me. You woke everyone in the neighborhood. You need to leave. Now.

The other rabbits had scattered when they saw the large woodchuck. It was only Suzy and Jake in the burrow.

Suzy: I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize it was going to be so loud. I shouldn’t have agreed to it.

Wally: No, you shouldn’t have. He has to go. Or you both have to go. Now.

Jake slunk out into the darkness. He had no idea where he was going. Suzy was in tears. Wally stomped back to bed.

Next week: What is going to happen to Jake?

Can Rabbits Stay Outside in the Winter? | Rabbit Hole Hay

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

29

Tips for a Happy New Year

Funny Cats "Happy New Years" song - YouTube

Greetings! Snoops and Kommando Kitty here. The humans are starting a new year today. We wanted to find ways to help Mom actually have a happy new year, so we asked Mr. Google. He sure knows a lot of stuff. Too much stuff. It was hard to sort out what might really work. We put together a list and gave it to her. Guess now we have to wait and see what happens.

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Kiss someone you love at midnight. It’s supposed to make the love last all year. We hate being kissed, but it’s worth it if she’s happy for a year.

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Fill up your wallet and pantry before midnight. It keeps you from being poor and and hungry all year. Mr. Google didn’t say where to get the money to fill up her wallet. Especially after she spent all that money filling up the pantry. But we did notice that we have lots of food and treats, so it sounds good to us.

14+ Memes Clean House - Factory Memes

Don’t clean your house OR clean your house thoroughly. This was one of the places where Mr. Google really confused us. One place said that she shouldn’t clean so she didn’t wash/sweep away any good fortune that was coming her way. But another place said that she should clean thoroughly to sweep away all the bad luck from the past year. We hate the vacuum cleaner, but we hate clutter where we sit, so Mom’s on her own for this one.

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Don’t cry. If she cries on New Year’s, it could mean that she will be sad for the rest of the year. We hate it when she’s sad, so this one is really important.

PsBattle: This cat trying to enter a house : r/photoshopbattles

Don’t leave the house until someone else comes in. Mom actually had experience with this one. Her grandmother was from Scotland, and refused to leave the house until a tall, dark-haired man visited with a coin, something to eat, something to drink, and something to warm the house. (Luckily, our grandpa fit the bill so he always first-footed her.) Traditional gifts include coins, bread, salt, coal, and whiskey to ensure prosperity, food, flavor, warmth, and good cheer all year long. We don’t know anyone who fits the bill, so hopefully this one isn’t vital.

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Eat black-eyed peas and collard greens. The black-eyed peas bring good luck and the collard greens bring prosperity. We don’t like either one, but she’s also supposed to eat pork (wealth and progress) or herring (good luck) and soba noodles (longevity and prosperity), so she can make a meal of it all and we’ll share the stuff we like.

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Don’t eat lobster before midnight. Apparently lobsters move backwards, and eating one too close to the new year might cause the human to have setbacks during the year. We’ve never had a lobster, but they look pretty scary, so not having one in the house is fine.

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Make lots of noise at midnight to scare away evil spirits and omens. We hate loud noises, but as long as it’s not a vacuum we should be okay. Besides, it sounds like she only needs to do it for a short period of time.

Grapes are his favourite; not to eat but to play with! 😂 : r/CatsBeingCats

We also threw away a few.

Eat exactly 12 grapes at midnight. Each grape is supposed to represent a month of happiness. But she had to be done with the grapes at 12:01. We were afraid she might choke if she tried to eat them that fast. That would be really bad luck.

Open the door just before midnight to let the old year out and the new year in. We think that the year should be smart enough to get here on its own.

Suitcase Cats : Animals and Pets : r/aww

Carry an empty suitcase around. It’s supposed to bring a year of travel and adventure. We don’t like travel at all, so we’re not going to encourage it.

Wear red underwear. Some people think that wearing red underwear on New Year’s will bring romance into their lives. Mom doesn’t need romance; she has us. Besides, we don’t think she should be showing her underwear to other people.

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Eat vasilopitta (sweet Greek bread) or king cake. The person who finds the coin in either pastry is supposed to have good luck for the year. But first you have to be lucky enough to find the coin. What happens to the rest of the people?

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While we’re waiting to see if our suggestions work, we want to wish everyone a happy new year. (And those in Scotland, a Happy Hogmanay – end of the old one.)

Pictures courtesy of Google Images