Bats in the Belfry (and Elsewhere)

October 29, 2016 | cat9984

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Being just a couple of days before Halloween, we thought this would be a good time to get to know a little more about that much-maligned symbol of the dark, the bat.

Our initial plan was to interview a few at their annual Bats are Misunderstood Mammals (BAMM) convention, but some of the members were afraid that outsiders couldn’t be trusted to not give away their location. Apparently our multi-species orientation was not enough reassurance.

So we had to speak with them via Skype (no picture). Here’s what we found out:

Cheeseland: So why all the secrecy? This is your big season.

BAAM: You have got to be kidding. We hate Halloween. All it does is popularize the stereotype about bats. We are not scary animals that swoop down in the night to scare people.

CL: Umm. Actually we have seen some bats come down after us.

BAAM: Sorry, our bad. Some of you guys are lizards and birds, aren’t you?

(uncomfortable silence)

CL: OK, enough of that. Tell us about your good deeds.

BAAM: Well, we eat lots and lots of insects. You guys don’t have insects on staff, do you?

CL: Let’s keep moving.

BAAM (nervously): It’s mainly mosquitoes, everyone hates mosquitoes don’t they?

(silence)

BAAM: Nectar! We love nectar! We have a huge role in pollination. In fact, the majority of our species eats nectar and fruit.

CL: Really? That’s very interesting. And where do you live?

BAAM (relaxing a little): Oh we live pretty much everywhere, except where it’s really cold. We like relatively enclosed spaces. Since we sleep during the day, we prefer to keep out of the sun.

CL: It seems like a lot of you can live in a small space.

BAAM: Actually, yes. Our bodies are quite small, and we wrap our wings tightly around us.

CL: Does that cause any problems?

BAAM: It causes one of the huge misconceptions about bats. When it gets dark, we want to get outside to eat. So we all try to rush through the same openings. Sometimes it looks like we’re coming out as a horde to cause trouble.

CL: And some bats probably have fly lower than others which is what looks like swooping.

BAAM: Exactly!

CL: We’re out of time here. We’d like to thank you for sharing your time with us.

BAAM: Thank you for having us.

(Before the connection breaks, we hear a loud bat voice: How many times do I need to tell you? Never do an interview with one of those liberal animal groups! They always make us look bad.)

(all pictures courtesy of Google Images)

Hedgehog Humor

October 22, 2016 | cat9984

Greetings from Horatio (Lord Nelson) Hedgehog. Mom had one of her carpal tunnels fixed last week and is still having a little trouble typing. Those cats were going to snarf another post, but I got here first. I figured I could be as entertaining as they are.

I went to a place called Animaljokes.co.uk. Their jokes were terrible. Like “What do hedgehogs like for supper? Prickled onions.” I don’t know what co.uk means, but it doesn’t mean funny.

Image result for pickled onions

(from Google Images/Allrecipes)

So I went to Cheezburger. They weren’t very funny either:

I guess the cats are right – some people shouldn’t be allowed around animals:

So finally I decided to just show our cuteness:

Research is a lot more work than I thought it would be.

hedgehog,funny,sleepy

If you are interested in hedgehogs, I would recommend going to see the Little Silver Hedgehog. It’s blog that’s all about hedgehog rescue and preservation (they run a hedgehog hospital). I don’t think it’s American because when they talk about money, they use a funny-looking L. But it has lots of cute hedgehog pictures and eco-friendly stuff.

Thank you for reading.

Cat Forum: Interview with Fast Eddie

October 15, 2016 | cat9984

Hello. Snoops and Kommando here with another edition of Cat Forum. This time we are lucky enough to be interviewing Fast Eddie from Notes from the UK. The lady who writes it, Ellen Hawley, is very nice but only seems to write for humans.

(Our comments will look like this.)

We really like your name. How did you get it?

I’ve always been Fast Eddie.

People call cats silly things, but we have our own names. I don’t have to tell you that—you’re cats; you know these things—but we’re letting humans read this, so I’ll explain. If our people call us something silly, we ignore them and keep our names to ourselves. Sometimes they call us by our real names, though, and that happened to me. My people looked at me and said, “That’s Fast Eddie.” And I said, “Yeah. That’s me.”

Since it seems to be cloudy a lot there, do you have trouble finding good sun spots?

Nah. I can find a good sunny spot anytime the sun’s out. If it’s cloudy—well, yeah. I see your point. But in the winter, as soon as it gets dark my people make me a fire.

(Snoops: I hope Mom sees this.)

Horatio Hedgehog says that there are wild hedgehogs in Britain. Have you ever seen one?

Not for a while. We had one in the neighborhood, but she didn’t talk to me. I haven’t seen her for a long time. Maybe she went somewhere else to sulk. I figured hedgehogs weren’t friendly, but maybe that was just this one, huh?

Have you ever eaten clotted cream?

My people might read this, right? So, no. Never tried the stuff. That time on the table? Never happened.

It’s wonderful.

(Kommando: We definitely need to make sure Mom reads this.)

Do you get to go outside? Mom says it’s too dangerous here.

I have my own window that I can go in and out of. And a door in the summer. It can be dangerous, though. My predecessor, the mighty Smudge, got killed on the road, so I don’t go over there. But there’s plenty to do right here, in the back yards.

(Kommando: Mom, if we get the fire and the cream, I won’t trip you trying to get outside.)

You live with a dog, right? Does he try to boss you around?

I live with two dogs, and one of them is my mother. I mean, I had a cat mother but she had a whole lot of kittens and she kind of got tired of us. My dog mother, though? She never gets tired. She cleans my ears for me.

But the other dog? I told my people he was a bad idea, but they brought him home anyway. And he leaked. I told them, “This dog’s defective,” but you know what people are like. Even people who call you by your real name. They don’t listen.

So I told him, “You do that in the house and they’ll send you back,” and he doesn’t leak now. But he was still a bad idea.

(Snoops: I don’t think we want to take the chance. No dog.)

You live with two humans. What is the best thing about each of them?

They like me. And they feed me good things and keep my window open and pet me and stuff. So yeah, it’s a good home.

Is there anything else you would like to say?

Tell your hedgehog I said hi. And I’m sorry for what I said about hedgehogs. It must be just that one over here. She wasn’t very nice.

(Snoops: Horatio has days like that too. I think it’s a hedgehog thing.)

We want to thank Fast Eddie for his time. Be sure to stop by Notes from the UK. You can find lots of pictures of him if you follow a link at the top of the page. If you’re a human, you might like the human part too.

Halloween: The Well-Dressed Cat

October 8, 2016 | cat9984

Editorial Comment: We at Cheeseland are not fans of cats dressing for Halloween. However, as a service to those who are, we have invited Tiffany Furreau, consultant on “The Real Cats of Beverly Hills” to show us the latest trends in cat costumes. Please do not let your humans see these pictures.

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