Ian and Janis Hedgehog moved into Commerce Commons about a year ago. It was a small community of hedge-loving creatures: rabbits, small snakes, mice, and a variety of insects.

Coming home one day, Ian saw a notice at the end of the brush pile he called home. It appeared that someone had complained about the “blight” at Commerce Commons and was saying that it had to go. Ian called out to Janis.

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Ian: Janis! Did you see this sign?

Janis: Yes, I did. Isn’t it terrible? We all think it came from a human. I don’t understand why a human would care about our home. No humans live here. And they don’t own the property.

Ian: I don’t know either, but I’m going to get to the bottom of it.

Janis: Everyone is really upset. We’re all going to meet tomorrow night to talk it over. In the meantime, we all have assignments. We’re supposed to find out who this person is who wants to make us move.

Ian: How did we get such a tough assignment?

Janis: That’s a silly question. You’re a researcher at the best law firm around here.

Ian: I guess it won’t be too hard to research a human. Let me see what I can find.

The next evening when Ian came home the Commons was abuzz with angry critters. He had not realized how many beetles and snails lived in “Bug Town” at the other end of the wood pile. There were ground beetles, lady beetles, and tiger beetles. A big fluffy squirrel came up to him and Janis and started talking very fast.

Jess: Hi! My name is Jessica, but you can call me Jess. I organized tonight’s meeting. It’s just awful what they’re trying to do to you. I think it’s a crime. I really do. And who are you? I know I’ve seen you around the yard.

Janis: Hello. I’m Janis, and this is Ian. We live in that space (points to an opening in the branches. I don’t mean to be rude, but why is a squirrel organizing all of this? You don’t live in either the hedge or the brush pile.

Jess: That is an excellent question. I am not at all offended. It does seem that it should be run by one of you, doesn’t it? Truth of the matter is, I saw how upset everyone was and had to do something. I asked who was in charge of the protest, and everyone looked at me like I was off my nut, so to speak.

Ian: Who did you want to protest against?

Jess: Whoever put up that sign. That human, Chester Allen. That’s why I’m so excited you’re here. Phoebe the mouse said you worked for an attorney and might be able to look him up. Did you find anything?

Ian: I did some research and…

Jess (breaking in): Everyone! Hello! Everyone! Come over here. Ian has information about Chester Allen.

The rabbits, mice, voles, reptiles, and insects moved closer and quieted down.

Ian: Hello, everyone. I did find out who Chester Allen is. He works for the local government as a property inspector. He’s the guy who makes sure everyone is following the rules regarding what can and cannot be on the property.

Emma Mouse: Is he a human?

Ian: No, he’s a badger.

Emma: A badger is throwing us out? (She points.) We have a couple of badgers living over there. Lovely animals.

Bob Bunny: And this Hedge has been here for years. We’ve worked very hard to get the brush pile to look this good. Why is it a problem now?

Ian: I thought it was very odd too. So I called a guy I know at Town Hall and asked him to look into it.

Jess: Any luck?

Ian: He says that Chester’s a pretty decent guy, but he likes to take the path of least resistance. Pretty much responds to whoever makes the most noise.

Bob: So, who’s making the noise?

Ian: My guy said he didn’t want to get in trouble, but it was one of our neighbors. A human neighbor.

Jess: I should have known. It’s the jerk who’s putting in the golf course down the road.

Victor Vole: How does he even know we’re here? It’s not like we’re on the main road.

Jess: According to the Squirrel Network, he’s been going around the neighborhood looking for things that don’t meet his approval.

Roxanne Rabbit: I did some research too. That definition of blight doesn’t apply unless the property is owned by humans. All of the land around here belongs to a holding company owned by a confederation of foxes.

Sally Salamander: This is just ridiculous. We need to refuse to move.

Victor: Won’t that be dangerous?

Jess: It might be. Particularly if Chester allows the human onto our property.

Ian: We should talk to Chester and tell him the rules don’t apply to us. He sounds like someone who can be reasonable.

Jess: Maybe you could ask one of your attorneys for advice.

Ian: Let me think everything through before I call.

Next week: Can Chester be reasoned with?