10

OMC! The Cats Have a Phone

Cat Phone GIFs | Tenor

Not really. But we did get to see a list of some of the abbreviations humans use on their phones. Some of them are pretty funny, and some of them are kind of lame. But we thought that we might be able to adapt some of them for ourselves. First is what you humans say, second is how we plan to use it.

ASAP – As Soon as Possible – needs to be replaced with RN (below)

BEG – Big Evil Grin – we like this one the way it is

BRB – Be Right Back – we’d like to use this with our humans. It would mean “Don’t move. I’ll be back in less than a couple of hours and will continue to want your undivided attention

44+] Cats in Snow Wallpaper on WallpaperSafari

CTWN – we made this one up – Change the Weather Now – for when the weather is too nasty to go out or is too bad for decent cat TV

DIY – Do it Yourself – seems like it will really come in handy if the humans are silly enough to ask us to do something

IDK – I Don’t Know – seems useless. Cats always know.

ILY – I Love You – We don’t really have a problem with it. We prefer ITY – I Tolerate You, particularly when it comes to all but our very favorite human(s) and other creatures

Opinionated? Me? - Lolcats - lol | cat memes | funny cats | funny cat  pictures with words on them | funny pictures | lol cat memes | lol cats

IMO – In My Opinion – seems kind of silly. We’re cats. Who else’s opinion would we care about?

LOL – Laugh Out Loud – cats don’t really laugh (See BEG). We prefer MOL – Meow Out Loud – to be used when we think something is amusing

NA – Not Available – We prefer OTB. But if you want to be delicate, this is an acceptable substitute

NP – No Problem – apparently humans use this when someone asks them to do something and they will do it. We like the concept. We’ll get around to whatever at some undefined point in the future

Excited kitty | Excited cat, Happy birthday cat, Cat memes

OMG – Oh my Goodness – no cat would ever say that. We’d say OMC – Oh my Cats

OTB – we made this one up – On the Box – it means DO NOT DISTURB

POS – Parents Over Shoulder – this is dumb, we don’t care if other cats are around. We prefer HOS – Human Over Shoulder – to be used when on Amazon, in the treats, etc. and the human is spotted

RN – Right Now – we like the concept. Is there a way to make it stronger?

Silver Vine: A Popular Alternative to Catnip • The Catnip Times

ROFL – Rolling on the Floor Laughing – we would not do this on the floor. We prefer ROFM/ROFP – Rolling on the Floor Meowing/Purring – to be used when extremely contented

TBH – To Be Honest – we don’t need this; cats are always honest

TGIF – Thank Goodness it’s Friday – we don’t care what day of the week it is. We prefer TGIS – Thank Goodness it’s Snacktime – to be used when we really need a break

Image result for cat meme i heard the word snacks | Cute cats, Cute  animals, Cats and kittens

TTYL – Talk to You Later – we don’t really talk. We prefer MTYL – Meow to You Later. To be used with friends

YOLO – You Only Live Once – we have nine lives. We prefer YOLNT – You Only Live Nine Times

Now we have to get on Amazon to get those phones.

Mama cat tells kitten he inst getting anything in store. Haha | Cute baby  cats, Funny cat memes, Cute animal quotes

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

0

The Five W’s (and H)

(Who, What, Where, When, Why, and How for you non-journalists)

Image result for brain cartoon

This is what happens when my brain doesn’t have enough to do:

Who decides when the orange barrels go up for a construction project? Sometimes they go up weeks before the project and sometimes they magically appear the day before. My theory is that sometimes they have nowhere else to store them.

Image result for road construction barrels

Who was the person responsible for the company needing to put “for external use only” on curling irons to prevent another lawsuit?

Image result for curling iron meme

Who decided that making robocalls from various area codes would really make a difference in the number of people who pick up? Why would I answer a call from Wichita more readily than one from Washington or the local campaign office?

What is the point of a clock in an emergency room? So a person can tell the staff exactly how long they’ve been irritated?

Image result for angry clock

What happens if I don’t feel amazing when I read a blog I’m following? Do they lose one amazing follower and gain a slug?

What would happens if you took Sominex (a sleeping pill) with two cups of coffee?

Image result for too much coffee

 

Where do old soldiers fade away to? (Douglas MacArthur: “Old soldiers never die, they just fade away.”)

Where did the leprechauns get gold in the first place?

Where do fruit flies come from? Ours seem to appear by spontaneous generation.

When do the cows come home? I’ve always heard it as an expression meaning some time in the future, like when pigs fly. Pigs still aren’t flying, but I think cows come home somewhat frequently. Maybe there’s some kind of hierarchy among the cows, the pigs, and hell freezing over?

Image result for pigs flying

 

When do time travelers get a chance to wash their clothes and check email?

When do texters/tweeters have time to think about what they’re “saying”?

Image result for texting fails

Why do I always panic when I have to get a specimen for the doctor? It’s not like my kidneys and intestines are going to stop working for that one day.

Why do some people slow down to 60 mph on the freeway when they see a police car on the shoulder two lanes over? The trooper is not going to give you a ticket if you stay at the limit (70 mph).

Why can cats and small dogs push large dogs around?

Image result for cats and dogs

How do some of the truly reprehensible political ads get on the air? Is there someone who wants to be known as being that nasty?

How many digital pictures of someone’s child must I look at before I can claim eye fatigue?

How much time does the average shopper spend critiquing the purchases of the person ahead of them in line?

Image result for cats shopping

(pictures courtesy of Google Images)