24

Sgt Stripes Reporting for Duty

Hello, everyone! My name is Sgt Stripes, and I am the new cat in the house. I moved in three weeks ago after my surgery. They said they had to “fix” me. Pretty insulting if you ask me. I think they actually broke me. The doc said I was going to need a couple of weeks to recuperate fully. I was up and exploring by that night.

I was supposed to be separated from the lady cats (Snoops and Kommando) for two weeks while I healed and then introduced. It didn’t work out that way. I got loose after a couple of days and ran downstairs. I woke up Snoops. She was not pleased. I’ve never seen a cat that fluffy. She sounded really mad too.

Then I got out and met Kommando. I tried to walk up to her, but she ran away from me. She hid under the bed. I didn’t even get a chance to introduce myself. I hope she’s not really afraid of me. I didn’t chase her or anything. And I didn’t make any noise.

So they’ve been letting me stay upstairs during the day and in my room at night. I really like it here. I have my own full-size bed. They have a cat-size bed too, but I’m not sure who’s supposed to be staying in that one. They gave me some kind of blanket that warms up. I really like it since it’s gotten kinda cold. There are all kinds of places to jump on. And lots of windows to look out. But it’s kind of boring all by myself.

I have a big fish that I play with, but my favorite is something that Mom calls a “puffy.” I guess humans put soap in them and use them when they take a bath. It’s the perfect size for me to pull on the edges and use as a kick toy. Humans take weird baths. I thought water was just for drinking. I’ve discovered that I really like toilet paper. It shreds like crazy. It’s the perfect workout for my claws. For some reason, the humans don’t like having it all over the room.

The food is pretty good. I get wet food in the morning, and kibble at night. I haven’t seen any mice or voles on the menu yet. I’m hoping that I’ll get a shot at fresh meat soon. I tried some of my brother’s pasta today. Human food is fun, but some of it doesn’t taste very good.

The humans spend quite a bit of time with me. I like humans. They cuddle and pet me. I had to learn not to try to eat Mom though. She got really fussy when I tried gnawing on her arm. Head bonks seem popular. And humans are nice and warm! I like the computer too. But I haven’t figured out how to catch the animals in there.

I learned how to turn on the ceiling fan. The cord is long and I can pull it from my bed. The only problem is, that makes the room kind of cold. Mom said something about getting a different cord. I haven’t really had a chance to check out all the cool things on the top of the dresser yet.

I tried going downstairs again this evening. Snoops seemed okay with it. Not thrilled, but she stayed normal-size. Mom says tomorrow’s the day for the formal introduction. She’s going to bring in a huge catnip plant to distract the other cats. I’m going to have full run of the house. I can’t wait.

17

2021 Gift Guide for the Pampered Kitty

Greetings fellow felines. It’s that time of year again when we ask Santa Claws to fulfill our hearts’ desires. This year we decided that we would focus our buying guide on cool beds. After all, what cat doesn’t like to curl up in comfort on a cold winter day. So look through the items we found, and circle the one you want to find under your Christmas tree.

K&H Pet Products Thermo-Kitty Heated Cat Bed – $84.99 (also available from Amazon)

When unoccupied, the bed surface will remain 10-15 degrees greater than room temperature. When in use, the bed will heat to your cat’s natural body temperature, which is about 102° F.

MYZOO Spaceship Gamma – $155 (also available from Amazon)

Wall-mounted and futuristic. What could be cooler?

MEOWFIA Premium Cat Bed Cave – $49.99 (Amazon)

Handmade from merino wool. Snug as a bug in a rug. (So to speak.)

Paws & Purrs Modern Pet Sofa – $269 (Amazon)

Purr-fectly elegant. Get a set and invite an intellectual friend over for kitty book club.

D+GARDEN Wicker Cat Bed – $125.99 (Amazon)

Bring your garden memories into the house. This bed is especially comfy for big kitties.

B.U.STYLE Cat Bed Basket Swinging Pet House Nest – $109.90 (Amazon)

You can move this beauty outside in the spring. It’s intended for smaller kitties so it may be a little delicate for some of you. (But it does look pretty spiffy.)

Finally, we thought that we would include a couple of treats just because we came across them when we were using Mr. Google and they looked interesting.

Tuna Sticks Cat Treats – $9.99

These delicious-looking treats are hand-rolled and baked. They contain tuna, whole wheat flour, eggs, parsley, and water.

Lactose-Free Ice Cream – $10.99

Your human can make you ice cream from powdered goat’s milk, bonito (fish) flakes, and water. All they do is mix and freeze. Yummy!

Hopefully you’ve seen something that appeals to you. After all, we can all use another napping place.

Ed. Note: We have not actually tried any of these products and are not endorsing them We just thought they looked cool.