Mr. Groundhog was getting ready to build his den for the winter. It had been a warm autumn but cold weather was predicted.
Mr. G: Dear, would you prefer moss or dry leaves to sleep on this winter?
Mrs. G: Sorry, I wasn’t listening. What did you ask?
Mr. G: What type of bedding do you want in the winter den?
Mrs. G: We don’t need a winter den.
Mr. G: Of course we need a den. If we don’t have one, we’ll freeze to death.
Mrs. G: Don’t you remember? We’re traveling this winter.
Mr. G: We’re groundhogs. We sleep all winter.
Mrs. G: Of course we’ll sleep. We just won’t do it at home.
Mr. G: Have you been eating those old berries? You’re not making sense.
Mrs. G: Didn’t I tell you about den2den? You travel to another state and spend the winter in someone else’s den.
Mr. G: That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of. Why would I want to sleep in someone else’s den?
Mrs. G: In the spring you get to see a different part of the country.
Mr. G: Great. Foreign grass. Where did you get this wonderful idea?
Mrs. G: From Margaret. Someone told her about it.
Mr. G: Margaret’s crazy, you know. Do I have to listen to her the entire trip?
Mrs. G: As a matter of fact, you don’t.
Mr. G: Are they going somewhere different?
Mrs. G: Actually, they’re not going. Bob said it was a stupid idea and refused to sign up.
Mr. G: I knew I liked Bob. I’m not going either.
Mrs. G: It’s too late. I’ve paid in full. In fact, the shuttle will be here shortly.
(Mr. G grumbles and paces. Before too long he hears wheels.)
Mrs. G: C’mon dear, it’s time to go. Are you packed?
Mr. G (sarcastically): My spare fur is at the cleaner.
(They sleep for the entire trip.)
Driver: Well, here we are.
Mr. G: Where is here? I’m freezing.
Driver: Not really sure. I just follow the GPS.
Mr. G: So where is this den?
Driver: Right over there.
(He points to a small opening at the bottom of a hill.)
Mr. G:That doesn’t look like a groundhog den.
(The driver looks at his printout.)
Driver: Says here it belongs to a mole.
Mr. G: I thought it was den2den. Moles live underground. They don’t have dens.
Driver: Hmmm. Guess there was some kind of mix-up.
Mr. G: So fix it.
Driver: I’m just the driver. You need to talk to your agent.
(Mr. G looks at Mrs. G.)
Mr. G: Who’s our agent?
Mrs. G: I don’t know. I bought the booking from Margaret.
Driver: That’s against the rules. You couldn’t stay here even if you wanted to.
Mr. G (gritting his teeth): So what do we do now?
Driver: Well, let me think.
(He makes a couple of phone calls.)
Driver: The Mouse House and Rodent Inn are both full. You probably don’t want the Fox Den or Eagles’ Nest. How’s the park sound?
Mr. G: Fine. We’ll make arrangements to get home in the morning.
Mrs: Margaret told me about a great ride service. You call a number and an animal will drive you in his personal vehicle. I think I have the number on my phone.
(Mr. G glares at her.)