Mr. Groundhog was getting ready to build his den for the winter. It had been a warm autumn but cold weather was predicted.
Mr. G: Dear, would you prefer moss or dry leaves to sleep on this winter?
Mrs. G: Sorry, I wasn’t listening. What did you ask?
Mr. G: What type of bedding do you want in the winter den?
Mrs. G: We don’t need a winter den.
Mr. G: Of course we need a den. If we don’t have one, we’ll freeze to death.
Mrs. G: Don’t you remember? We’re traveling this winter.
Mr. G: We’re groundhogs. We sleep all winter.
Mrs. G: Of course we’ll sleep. We just won’t do it at home.
Mr. G: Have you been eating those old berries? You’re not making sense.
Mrs. G: Didn’t I tell you about den2den? You travel to another state and spend the winter in someone else’s den.
Mr. G: That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of. Why would I want to sleep in someone else’s den?
Mrs. G: In the spring you get to see a different part of the country.
Mr. G: Great. Foreign grass. Where did you get this wonderful idea?
Mrs. G: From Margaret. Someone told her about it.
Mr. G: Margaret’s crazy, you know. Do I have to listen to her the entire trip?
Mrs. G: As a matter of fact, you don’t.
Mr. G: Are they going somewhere different?
Mrs. G: Actually, they’re not going. Bob said it was a stupid idea and refused to sign up.
Mr. G: I knew I liked Bob. I’m not going either.
Mrs. G: It’s too late. I’ve paid in full. In fact, the shuttle will be here shortly.
(Mr. G grumbles and paces. Before too long he hears wheels.)
Mrs. G: C’mon dear, it’s time to go. Are you packed?
Mr. G (sarcastically): My spare fur is at the cleaner.
(They sleep for the entire trip.)
Driver: Well, here we are.
Mr. G: Where is here? I’m freezing.
Driver: Not really sure. I just follow the GPS.
Mr. G: So where is this den?
Driver: Right over there.
(He points to a small opening at the bottom of a hill.)
Mr. G:That doesn’t look like a groundhog den.
(The driver looks at his printout.)
Driver: Says here it belongs to a mole.
Mr. G: I thought it was den2den. Moles live underground. They don’t have dens.
Driver: Hmmm. Guess there was some kind of mix-up.
Mr. G: So fix it.
Driver: I’m just the driver. You need to talk to your agent.
(Mr. G looks at Mrs. G.)
Mr. G: Who’s our agent?
Mrs. G: I don’t know. I bought the booking from Margaret.
Driver: That’s against the rules. You couldn’t stay here even if you wanted to.
Mr. G (gritting his teeth): So what do we do now?
Driver: Well, let me think.
(He makes a couple of phone calls.)
Driver: The Mouse House and Rodent Inn are both full. You probably don’t want the Fox Den or Eagles’ Nest. How’s the park sound?
Mr. G: Fine. We’ll make arrangements to get home in the morning.
Mrs: Margaret told me about a great ride service. You call a number and an animal will drive you in his personal vehicle. I think I have the number on my phone.
(Mr. G glares at her.)
6 thoughts on “There’s No Place Like Home”
Should have checked the small print…!!
True. They could have ended up in a fox’s den.
That would NOT have been a good timeshare…!!
MOL Now dat’s funny. But poor groundhogs. Now they’ll be late gettin’ their home fixed up and might freeze their hineys off. MOL We so hate da cold. Fank da cats fur ‘lectric blankys. Maybe those groundhogs should get one. MOL Big hugs to all.
Dezi and Raena
Maybe they could move in with Margaret since she caused all the trouble.
Hey, now dat’s an idea. But we’s not sure da mister would go fur dat one. MOL
Dezi and Raena