Category Archives: Stories

18

The RHCCC: Homecoming Game – Part 2

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Cute cat with a football helmet on. | Cats, Pet holiday, Pet costumes

Where we are: Miki’s son Steve is the backup quarterback on the Crabapple Cove High School football team. He led the team to one victory before returning to backup status. It’s the middle of the game before Homecoming, his team is down 28-3, and the coach has just put him into the game. You can read Part 1 here.

Steve ran out to the huddle and called the play. They slowly moved the ball down the field and eventually scored. The defense came back to life and stopped the other team. Eventually, Crabapple Cove managed to pull out a 34-31 victory. Steve was ecstatic. He was sure he was going to be the quarterback for Homecoming.

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Steve: Mom! Did you see that? I went into the game, and we won!

Miki: I’m so proud of you, Steve! Great job!

Giselle: Congrats, little brother!

She didn’t want to tell him that the cheerleaders had been talking about how weird it was that the defense had suddenly improved so much once Steve was in the game. The rumor was that Steve’s friend Kyle had thought Steve deserved the starting job. Kyle had convinced some of the other guys to not play as hard as they could for Chad.

By Saturday afternoon, the rumors had reached Steve.

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Steve: Mom, people are saying that I wasn’t really that great. It was just that the defense wasn’t trying in the first half. What should I do?

Miki: You need to talk to Kyle and find out what he said. After all, the defense did improve, but the team didn’t score a touchdown in the first half and that didn’t have anything to do with the defense.

Steve: Good point, Mom. A bunch of the guys are getting together tonight. Maybe I can find out what’s going on.

Steve went over to Joey’s house where several of the players were hanging out. When he got there, the guys started cheering. But Steve was too upset to enjoy it.

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Steve: Kyle, people are saying I didn’t deserve to play. You guys were just throwing the game to get me in.

Kyle: What difference does it make how you got in? We needed you, man. Chad was not having a good night.

Steve: We’re a team. Everyone’s supposed to play their best.

Joey: What makes you think we weren’t playing our best?

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Steve: The cheerleaders said that Kyle got the defense to slack off so Chad would look bad, and I’d get to play.

Lyle: That’s dumb cheerleader talk. We can’t make Chad look bad. We don’t even play at the same time.

Joey: Nothing seemed to be going right in the first half. We just got back on track after halftime. Coach made some adjustments, and they worked. Nothing to do with Chad really.

Kyle: He did have a really bad night. But that’s not on us.

How Cats Play

Steve went over to see Chad on Sunday.

Steve: Hey, Chad. How are you?

Chad: Hey. Guess I handed you the starting job Friday night. I stunk up the place.

Steve: It wasn’t that bad.

Chad: I couldn’t get my head in the game. Guess the pressure got to me. Think I should just quit the team?

Steve: Why would you quit?

Chad: Coach told me after the game that I wouldn’t be starting anymore. At least for a while. Didn’t he talk to you?

Steve: No, I didn’t hear anything. Neither did anyone else. I’m really sorry. I thought we made kind of a good team.

Chad: I don’t know what I’m going to do. I really thought I was better.

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They were tossing the football back and forth while they were talking. As they move further and further apart, Steve had an idea. Chad agreed to talk to Coach with him about it the next day before practice. Coach signed on and made an announcement at practice.

Coach: I have decided that Steve is going to be our starting quarterback at Homecoming this Friday. Chad will be backup. But they have come up with an idea for Chad to get more playing time than the usual backup. They have designed a couple of plays with Chad playing wide receiver that we are going to work on this week. Hopefully, they will be a secret weapon against Beagle Bay Friday night.

The team cheered. Chad was a popular player, and the others wanted him to succeed. Practice went well all week. The school was somewhat surprised to see so little drama from their “quarterback debate.”

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Friday night was clear. The Homecoming floats surrounded the field. The stands were full of cheering fans. Chad and his girlfriend were announced as King and Queen at halftime.

Crabapple Cove had scored a quick touchdown on the first play of the game, but neither team had scored since. Coach was holding off on his special plays for the second half. He gave a fairly short talk after the halftime festivities.

Coach: Great job so far guys! Chad’s going to be going in as wide receiver for the second half, and we’re going to try to catch them off guard on the first play. Keep your heads in the game and win this thing!

Two Cats giving each other's high five: aww

As they ran back onto the field, Steve and Chad bumped chests, grinning. The huddle broke, and Chad went deep. Steve threw a perfect spiral into his arms. Chad raced into the end zone for a touchdown less than a minute into the half. Beagle Bay looked stunned.

Steve and Chad were close to the perfect team for the rest of the game. The offensive line protected them well, and the game ended in a 28-3 victory. By Monday morning, they were both football stars.

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All pictures courtesy of Google Images.

 

17

The RHCCC: Homecoming Game

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Boomer Esiason named commissioner of football league for cats - CBSSports.com

Miki’s son Steve was the backup quarterback on the Crabapple Cove High School football team. He usually got to play for a few minutes at the end of the game, but didn’t have much experience. He came home from practice one day really excited.

Steve: Guess what! I’m the starting quarterback on Friday!

Giselle: What happened? Someone teach pigs how to fly?

Steve: Very funny, sis. Chad has to go out of town with his family, so I get to play.

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Miki: That’s wonderful, sweetie. I hope those big cats don’t hurt you.

Steve: Mom! That’s why I have big cat protecting me. I’ll be fine.

Giselle: Are you sure you’re ready? The last time they let you touch the ball, you dropped it.

Steve: That wasn’t my fault. Ralph fumbled the snap. Even the coach said he messed up. It was the last play. We would have done better the next time.

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Steve was right. He played well on Friday, and the team won. It was the first time they had beaten Sutters’ Bay in five years. By Monday, Steve was a hero at school. Chad came back to find out that he had competition for the starting position.

Chad: It’s not fair! I only missed a couple of days. I’m better than he is.

Coach: Maybe yes. Maybe no. Steve’s been working hard, and he looked good on Friday. I want to see both of you side-by-side for a couple of days. Homecoming’s next week. We need the best guy for the job.

Chad: Fine. But it won’t be him.

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Chad and Steve were friends, but the competition was fierce. They each wanted to start against Kingston on Friday to showcase their skills. Steve was excited about his chances. He couldn’t stop talking about it when he saw his girlfriend Diane.

Steve: Can you believe it? I could be the quarterback for Homecoming!

Diane: That’s great, Steve! Do you think that would make us more likely to be on the Homecoming Court? I’d really love to be Homecoming Queen.

Steve: You’re not going to be Queen. We’re not seniors, remember? They always pick seniors.

Diane: Yeah, I guess you’re right. It’d still be nice to date the starting quarterback. When do you find out?

Steve: Coach said that he was going to watch both of us this week and decide on Thursday who gets to start on Friday. That will determine who plays at Homecoming.

How Cats Play

Both boys worked hard all week. The team looked better than it had in a long time. Finally it was time for Coach’s decision. At the end of Thursday’s practice, he gathered the team.

Coach: I’ve been watching closely, and I think we have two great quarterbacks. For tomorrow’s game, I’ve decided that I want to go with experience; Chad will be starting.

Steve’s heart sank. He had been sure he’d won the job. Now he was supposed to go back to riding the bench. He showered and left, dejected.

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Steve: Mom, this is so unfair! I worked really hard! I should be starting tomorrow.

Miki: I know. Did Coach say anything about whether you’d get to play?

Steve: Not really. He just said that Chad was starting. I left as soon as I could. I don’t even want to go tomorrow.

Miki: I understand it’s really disappointing. But you have to go back. You’re still part of the team, and they need you. You can show that you’re a leader by doing whatever you can to help them.

Steve: I guess.

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Steve showed up the next night and cheered for Chad and the rest of the team. Unfortunately, it didn’t seem to be helping. By halftime, Crabapple Cove was down 28-3. The team went into the locker room silently. Chad sat with his head down while Coach tried to rally their spirits.

Finally, Steve stood up.

Steve: Guys, c’mon. You’re better than this. Don’t let Kingston walk all over you. We beat Sutters’ Bay last week, and these guys stink compared to them. I know you can do it. Let’s go out there and roar!

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The team looked at him like he was crazy. But Steve kept talking and finally they started nodding. The team walked back onto the field with their heads high.

Then Chad was sacked on the first play of the second half.

Coach: Steve, put on your helmet. You’re going in.

Next week: Can Steve spark a comeback and win the starting position for Homecoming?

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Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

23

Hibernation Prep – Fall 2021 – Part 2

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Winter Rituals: Nighty-Night Bears - Earthfire Institute

Where we are – the Bearlingtons were in the midst of preparing for hibernation when Papa’s brother Sam appeared at their door. He had been kicked out of the house last spring after disrupting the previous hibernation and eating all of their food. Sam has recently been kicked out by his girlfriend and is looking for a place to stay.

After being greeted with less-than-open-arms by Mama, Sam is taking a walk while the family discusses his situation.

A Bears Quest for Food | Wise About Bears

Papa: Shelly, be reasonable. He doesn’t have any place else to go.

Mama: That’s his own fault. It sounds like he was as much of a loaf at her house as he was here.

Kenny: I like Uncle Sammy! He’s fun.

Carl: Yeah! He let’s us eat whatever we want and run around the cave.

Kenny: And he give great rides.

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Mama: And you boys are totally wild when he’s here.

Carl: Mama! We’re bears. We’re supposed to be wild.

Mama: We live in the suburbs. You need to behave like civilized bears.

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Penelope: He’s really funny. Remember those impressions he did of the humans he met at the beach? (mimicking) “Alice, is that a bear? That can’t be a bear! Bears don’t go to the beach.”

Papa (laughing): I’d forgotten about that. He is the only bear I know who goes to the beach when the humans are around.

Penelope: He must be really brave.

Mama: Or not very bright. Humans carry diseases. He should stay away from them.

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Just then, Sam reappeared. He was carrying a basket of salmon and and another one fully of blueberries. He handed them to Mama.

Sam: Here, Shelly. I wanted to make up for some of the food I ate last year that you had been saving.

Mama: Thank you, Sam. That’s very sweet. Where will you go if you can’t stay here?

Sam: I was thinking about that. I think that there may be an empty spot further up the coast. I remember hearing some deer talking about a shelter near Kapoka.

Papa: That’s a long ways off. Do you know anyone up there?

Sam: Not really. But it should be fairly sheltered and safe.

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Penelope: Will you come back in the spring, Uncle Sam?

Sam: I don’t know. There really isn’t anything for me around here. Maybe it’s time for me to make a fresh start.

Penelope: You can’t go that far without knowing for sure you’ll find shelter.

Kenny: What if the place is full of mean bears?

Sam: Don’t worry about me. I’m a tough old bear. I’ve been in tight spots before.

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Mama: Sam, are you sure there’s a spot for you up there?

Sam: Well, a friend of a friend said that they usually have openings in the late summer.

Mama: It’s not late summer anymore. You don’t really have a place, do you?

Sam: Not really. But I know I was a problem last year. I was just hoping that you might forgive me.

Kenny and Carl: Please, Mom? Can he stay here?

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Mama: I don’t want to be heartless. Do you promise not to raid the pantry every time you get bored?

Sam: Cross my heart.

Mama: And you have to start picking up after yourself. You can’t just go out for a long walk in the spring when it’s time to do the big clean-up.

Sam: I promise.

Mama: And when it’s time for the boys to hibernate, you have to back me up and tell them to go to bed.

Sam: I promise.

Mama: Then you can stay.

There was much cheering and dancing around. When everything finally settled down, they sat down for a big meal of salmon and blueberries.

What are bears up to this winter? - Bearwise.org

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

 

20

Hibernation Prep – Fall 2021

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Could humans hibernate like bears? | TheHill

Mama: Well, it’s that time of year again.  Is everybody ready to settle in for the winter?

Papa: I can’t wait. It’s been a long summer.

Mama: Penelope, you sweep out the cave. Kenny, you and Carl start gathering fresh moss and leaves for the beds.

Papa: I’ll suspend our subscription to Grizzly Times until April.

Mama: Don’t forget to have them hold our mail too.

Papa: Do you like the message I have for the phone?

“Thank you for calling the Bearlingtons. We can’t come to the phone until spring. Please leave a message and we’ll return your call after April 15. Please do not leave more than one message. We will not be checking our calls.”

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Mama: Yes. That sounds about right. Do you think April 15 is late enough?

Papa: You know Penelope and the boys. There’s no way they’ll let us sleep past mid-April.

Penelope: Mama, can I keep my InstaBear account active this year? I’m going to miss so much.

Mama: You know the rules, dear. Hibernation season is family time. No electronics. Besides, you’ll be sleeping most of the time.

Penelope: I know. But it’s so boring until we actually settle down. Can Jessica stay here for hibernation?

Papa: Of course not! She should be sleeping with her own family.

Penelope: She’s mad at them. They wouldn’t let her run away with her boyfriend.

Papa: The zoo runaway? He seems a little old for her.

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Penelope: Yeah. He was kind of weird. He wanted to move to the city and open a food truck.

Mama: She’s probably better off with someone local.

Papa: Did you pay the mortgage ahead? We don’t want to get kicked out mid-winter.

Mama: The bills are all set.

Kenny and Carl returned with armloads of bedding material. Mama Bear created hibernation spots for each of them to spend the winter. Looking around the room, she tried to remember what else needed to be done. Suddenly, she heard a familiar voice.

Voice: Anybody home?

She looked at Papa Bear.

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Mama: You did not invite your brother Sam to hibernate with us, did you?

Papa: Sam! What are you doing here? I didn’t think you even knew where we lived.

Papa’s brother Sam had spent the previous winter with them. He had eaten all of the spare provisions and generally made a mess of the cave. Papa and Mama had several fights over his lack of responsibility When spring came, they kicked him out and switched caves.

Sam: Joey! Long time, no see! I had a heck of a time finding you. After we parted way, I met up with a beautiful girl. I really thought she was the one. But fall comes, and she tells me I have to find some place else to hibernate. I don’t understand.

Papa: That’s too bad. Things had been going well?

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Sam: I really thought so. Except for that time I confused her with her sister. Her sister’s really pretty too.

Papa: If she dumps you after one mistake, she’s not the girl for you.

Sam: Maybe not. Too bad though. She had a really nice cave. But she was kind of particular about keeping it clean. Reminded me of your wife. Speaking of which, is Shelly around?

Mama: I’m right here, Sam. To what do we owe the pleasure?

Sam: Good to see you! I missed you guys!

Kenny: Uncle Sam!

Sam: Hey Kenny! You miss me?

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Kenny: I really did! Mom won’t let us wrestle in the house when you’re not here!

Papa: Are you living around here now?

Sam: Well…actually…

Mama: Tell us the truth Sam.

Sam: Lydia kicked me out and I don’t have anywhere to go. Everything around here is booked.

Kenny: You can stay here. Right, Mom?

Sam: I don’t think your Mom’s going to want me around for another winter.

Sad Bear Is Sad

He looked sadly at Mama.

Penelope: I’m sure she’s fine with it. She was just talking about how hibernation should be spent with family.

Papa: And he said he doesn’t have anywhere else to go.

Mama: He was a terrible guest last year. I don’t know.

Sam: Please?

Next week: Will Mama let Sam stay for the winter?

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Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

11

Tommy Tiger’s New School

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Meet Alexei and Rory: Ohio zoo names adorable new tiger cubs

Tommy was really excited. His mom had signed him up at the new school in the neighborhood. He was tired of being home-schooled and wanted to meet some other cats.

He was a little surprised by how small some of his classmates were. But everyone seemed really friendly. He made friends quickly and started hanging out with Billy and Eddie.  Before long, they were inseparable. They sat together and played together at recess.

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Some of the older kids started making fun of Tommy because he was so big. He thought it was rather rude of them since he had never pointed out how small he thought they were.

Jimmy: Hey, kid! You’re no kitten. Look at those paws!

Tommy: What’s wrong with my paws?

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Jimmy: They’re huge!

Tommy: That’s not nice! Take it back!

Larry: He’s right. Those aren’t paws. They’re mitts.

Tommy felt like he was going to cry. He was much too gentle to fight with the little cats, but he didn’t understand why they were talking about his paws. They were the perfect size for his body. Eddie ran to get their teacher.

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Ms. Smithers came up and saw the tiger cub with the three kittens (Billy, Jimmy, and Larry). She had been a little nervous about having a tiger in the school. She hoped he wasn’t causing trouble.

Ms. Smithers: What’s going on here?

Billy: Jimmy and Larry are being mean. They’re making fun of Tommy’s paws.

Jimmy: They’re huge! I’ve never seen paws that size.

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Ms. Smithers: Jimmy! Apologize immediately! His paws are perfect.

Larry: His paws are twice the size of mine.

Ms. Smithers: He’s almost twice your size.

Larry: I know. I figured he must have been held back a couple of times.

Ms. Smithers: No, he’s the same age as you are. Haven’t you ever met a tiger cub before?

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Jimmy: He’s a tiger? Whoa! That is so cool! Sorry, dude! Don’t eat me!

Tommy was confused. Why would he eat Jimmy?

Ms. Smithers: He’s not going to eat you. Apologize correctly, please.

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Jimmy: I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you were a tiger. You look like a big kitten.

Tommy: It’s OK. I didn’t know there weren’t any other tigers here. I won’t eat you. But please leave me alone.

Jimmy and Larry looked at each other and walked away.

It was the first and only time that Tommy was bullied at his new school. Soon he fit right in and was just one of the group.

Tiger and Kittens - Animals Photo (2960144) - Fanpop

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

17

Gator Family Reunion – Part 2

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Hungry, hungry... alligator? Reptile 'crashes' Florida picnic, chows down on burgers - New York Daily News

Where we are – Stan, Adele, Suzy, and Justine have arrived at Granny Gertie’s farm in the Florida Everglades for the family reunion. You can read part 1 of the story here.

Stan: Mom! You look great!

Gertie: Welcome, everyone! Come in and make yourselves at home. Adele, you’re beautiful as ever. And girls, you look just like your mother.

Adele: Thank you, Gertie. It’s good to see you.

Suzy: Hi, Granny! We missed you.

Gertie: I miss you too, Sweetie. Make yourselves at home.

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Norm: Hey, bro! Welcome! Hop in the truck. We have to go get Stu. He took a wrong turn off of I-95 and is trapped at some roadside attraction. He said they want to put him in a cage and charge humans to look at him.

Gertie: Poor Stu! I told him to take the bus.

Stan: Let me say hello to John and Jacob before I go.

John: It’s been a long time! How’s it going?

Stan: Good! Did you guys get the wild boars here?

Jacob: Pretty much.

Stan: What do you mean?

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Jacob: We managed to arrive with 10 of the 12 we started with.

Stan: I thought you were only coming across the state.

Jacob: We were, but John got hungry.

Stan: John! You promised!

John: I said I wouldn’t eat them all. And I didn’t. Ten should be plenty. Mom has lots of other food.

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Suzy: There’s Danny! Let’s go say hello!

Justine: Okay. But I don’t want to cuddle.

Suzy: Hey, Danny! How’s school?

Danny: Hi Suzy! Hi Justine! It’s going well. Bird studies are a lot harder than I thought they would be. So many of my patients are afraid of me. I don’t understand it.

Justine: Duh. You’re an alligator. We’re kinda known as apex predators.

Danny: I know. I have to be really careful about what I eat. And I have to brush my teeth before I can go to class.

Suzy: Think you’ll make it through?

Danny: I hope so. But I might have to switch to a general practice if things don’t improve.

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Adele: Hi, Danny. Girls, do you want to get something to eat? Granny has all kinds of food prepared. You’ll be excited to know that she did get some boa meat.

Suzy: Ooh! I can’t wait to try it!

Justine: Hmm. This isn’t as tasty as I thought it would be from the way everyone was talking about it.

Adele: You’re right. It kind of tastes like…I don’t know…maybe chicken.

Suzy: Well this is totally disappointing. I’m going to put it on GatorGram anyway. At least everyone will know I tried it.

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Penelope: Hi, everyone! I want you to meet my new boyfriend, Maxwell.

They all smiled at Maxwell.

Penelope: We met at the beach. He’s such a sweetheart. He cleared off a spot for me to sun in.

Adele: Hi Maxwell. What do you do for a living?

Maxwell: Oh, I don’t have time to work. I spend my time sunning on the golf course.

Justine: That sounds interesting. So you entertain the humans?

Maxwell: They entertain me really. It’s fun to watch them when I crawl out of the water. My family is pretty well-off so I don’t have to work.

Penelope: We’re planning a trip to the Florida Keys later this year.

Suzy (whispering to Justine): She hates to work and he doesn’t need to. They’re perfect.

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Gertie: Okay! It’s time for games.

Suzy: Oh, I hate this part! Someone always takes the death-roll challenge too far and we have to do a resuscitation.

Justine: I’m going to watch the tug-of-war. It’s a lot less dangerous, and it’s fun to see who gets dragged all the way into the water.

Penelope: Why can’t we ever play something nice like Charades?

Adele: I’m going to rest in the shade. It is way too hot for this Carolina gator down here.

Later.

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Stan: I’m glad we made it back before the food was all gone.

Stu: Thanks for rescuing me guys! I can’t believe I was almost part of a circus.

Norm: You weren’t going to be part of a circus. They wanted to put you in a petting zoo.

Stan:  That’s crazy. Who wants to pet a gator?

Stu: They thought I was an iguana.

Stan: Humans are weird.

Gertie: Time for family pictures! Everyone smile!

As the family lay in water relaxing, Gertie started telling stories about the boys when they were younger. Suzy and Justine closed their eyes and listened. It was their favorite part of the reunion.

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Pictures courtesy Google Images.

24

Gator Family Reunion

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Hungry, hungry... alligator? Reptile 'crashes' Florida picnic, chows down on burgers - New York Daily News

The alligator clan was getting ready for the annual family reunion. This year, Granny Gertie was hosting at her farm in the Everglades. Stan was particularly excited since he hadn’t been home in several years. His wife Adele and the girls were less enthusiastic.

Adele: I can’t believe we’re going to South Florida in August. It’ll be a steam bath.

Stan: We’re alligators. We love hot, humid weather.

Adele: I guess. But I’ve gotten used to the ocean breezes here in South Carolina.

Hundreds of alligators gather at Florida watering hole for sunbathing session

Suzy: Yeah, Dad. And you know how your relatives are. Everyone’s gonna lay in a huge cuddle puddle.

Stan: Of course. We’re family. We only see each other at these reunions. And most folks don’t make it every year.

Justine: Well, I don’t want to cuddle with Cousin Danny anymore.

Suzy: Why not? He’s cute.

Justine: I know. But he thinks he’s too good for everyone now that he’s at Animal Tech.

Partnerships for sustainability: let's learn from the plover bird and the crocodile | Steward Redqueen

Stan: That’s right! He wants to be a bird doctor.

Adele: That’s very strange. What’s wrong with being a gator doc?

Justine: He says he wants to promote inter-species peace.

Suzy (giggling): He probably has plans to start an exotic bird trade.

Stan: Be nice, Suzy! He’s a good gator.

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Adele: Is your cousin Vinny going to be there?

Stan: I’m not sure. He’s been working a lot of hours at that resort in Miami Beach.

Adele: I can’t believe he actually lets humans touch him.

Justine: Eww! What kind of job does he have?

Stan: He’s a guard at an upscale beach club. Your mom has it backwards. He touches the humans. They don’t touch him.

Adele: Even so. He should be careful. They have germs.

15 Times Adorable Animals Stopped to Smell The Flowers | Animals, Cute animals, Baby alligator

Suzy: And they smell funny. Speaking of smelling funny, I wonder if Roxanne will be there?

Stan: Does Roxanne smell funny?

Justine: Don’t you remember last time, Dad? She got caught in those rose bushes and ate her way out. She smelled like flowers for days. Not a natural gator aroma.

Adele: It could have been worse. Your Uncle Stu wandered through a pasture full of cow droppings. He’s so low to the ground that he picked up quite a stink.

Stan: Stu has a terrible sense of direction. He gets lost every time he leaves his own swamp. He really should use public transportation.

Justine (giggling): No one’s going to let an alligator who smells like cow poop on the bus. Most folks are afraid of us even when we don’t stink.

They find a very angry alligator in the garden | Web24 News

Suzy: That’s true. Some of us are kind of scary, though. Like Uncle Charlie.

Justine: Yeah. He growls a lot. And snaps.

Adele: He just doesn’t have much patience. He doesn’t suffer fools gladly.

Suzy: Gladly? He almost took the head off our waiter the last time we saw him.

Justine: Yeah. The poor guy looked like he wanted to crawl in a hole when Uncle Charlie told him his food was overcooked the third time.

Suzy: He should have just brought him a raw steak.

Adele: It is unfortunate that Charlie normally eats his food wild. He has a hard time in restaurants.

Alligator eating snake: Dramatic photos show snake trying to escape alligator's jaws in Florida - CBS News

Suzy: Do you think Granny will be serving boa constrictor? It’s been trending on GatorGram and looks yummy.

Stan: I don’t know. I hear they can be hard to catch. I don’t want Mom getting hurt over a stupid picnic.

Adele: Maybe your brother Norm could catch some. She lets him live there rent-free. Seems like he could catch dinner once in a while.

Stan: I guess that’s a possibility. He’s pretty fast.

Justine: Maybe they sell them in the deli or at a roadside stand. Pickled boa is supposed to be good.

Suzy: And smoked. It doesn’t have to be fresh.

Adele: That does sound good. What are we going to bring?

23 Aussies Yet To Realise They Live In The Land Of Nope | Meanwhile in australia, Big animals, Australian crocodile

Stan: Since we’re traveling so far this time, I was just going to contribute to the wild boars.

Suzy: Ooh! Who’s bringing boar? I love pig!

Stan: Your Uncles John and Jacob know a farmer who lets them hunt on his land. I’m helping pay for the refrigerated truck to get them to the party.

Adele: That’s a good idea, honey. That way we don’t have to lug anything on the train. You’re sure John won’t eat them on the way, right?

Stan: He promised.

Adele: I hope so. He’s the biggest gator I know. He could probably eat a couple of them by himself.

Stan: That’s true. But he promised.

Swagligator | Swag | Know Your Meme

Justine: Did you say we’re taking the train? Why can’t we take the car? I hate the train.

Suzy: What’s wrong with the train?

Stan: I’m more comfortable on the train. Gators aren’t built to spend hours in a car. You can tell they were designed by humans.

Justine: I guess. But I hate the way everyone looks at me like they think I’m going to eat them.

Suzy (giggling): Some of them do look pretty yummy.

Justine: I’m serious. It’s embarrassing. And annoying.

Adele: I know what you mean. It’s like they can;t tell the mean gators from the rest of us.

Stan: Don’t pay any attention to them. They’re just being ignorant.

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Justine: Maybe we should travel with kittens to show how gentle we are.

Suzy: Ooh! Kittens are cute! And they could give us massages.

Adele: I don’t think kittens would enjoy the reunion.

Justine: Probably not.

Stan: If anyone gives you a hard time, I’ll growl at them. Sometimes you have to embrace your inner gator.

Justine: Love you, Dad.

Stan: Anytime, sweetie.

Scientists Gave Alligators Ketamine and Headphones to Understand Dinosaur Hearing

Adele: We should bring your Mom a gift since we’ll be staying with her.

Suzy: Cool! We get to stay at the farm?

Stan: Of course. Granny insisted. She misses you girls.

Justine: We miss her too. Maybe she’ll teach us more authentic gator moves.

Suzy: And tell us more secrets about Dad!

Justine: I can’t wait!

Alligator Crashes UF Students' Lake Alice Picnic - WUFT News

Next week: The reunion.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

 

14

The RHCCC: Mousing School

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4 Ways To Get Into 'Back To School' Mode With Your Cat - CatTime

When we introduced the Real House Cats of Crabapple Cove, you might recall that Daphne works on the docks. She is a crew chief in charge of vermin control.

The Maine Coon Cat

Crabapple Cove is a hot tourist destination, and every summer the businesses hire extra staff to deal with the crowds. The owners all like to have at least a couple of mousers on staff as a guard against anything stealing the food or scaring the guests. It was a great job for kids on summer break.

Daphne noticed that a lot of the young cats didn’t last long on the job. When she asked around, she found out that they really didn’t understand what the job of mouser entailed. Sensing an opportunity, she decided to open a small mouser school at her house. Her first class had four students. It didn’t take long to find the issues.

Teacher Cat (@realteachercat) | Twitter

Daphne: Hi! I’m Daphne. Welcome to Mousing 101. Please introduce yourselves and tell us why you’re here.

Tyler: My mom said I had to get a summer job.

Mindy: Molly and I want to work on the docks. It’s the best place to meet cute guys when they first get here.

Molly (giggling): Yeah. Less competition than in town.

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Daphne: It’s hard work on the docks. Have either of you two moused before?

Mindy and Molly looked at each other.

Mindy: Isn’t that why we’re here?

Molly: My mom doesn’t let mice in our house. She says they’re disgusting.

Daphne looked at the final young cat.

Joseph: I think that all cats should know how to mouse, and I never had a chance to learn.

Why Does My Cat Pounce?

Daphne: Okay, class. First, I’ll demonstrate the proper form. You listen carefully. When you think you hear something, get into your pounce stance and wait patiently. Don’t move until you see the target and think you have a good jump on it. You don’t want to spend a lot of energy running around if you don’t have to.

Daphne crouched into the correct position and sat. 

Daphne: Okay, everyone try the position.

Exercise for your cat - PDSA

The young cats mimicked her crouch. Daphne stood in front and looked at them. She didn’t say anything. A few seconds passed.

Molly: How long do we have to sit like this? It’s boring.

Daphne: You have to wait until the mouse appears.

Molly: You didn’t say anything about waiting for a mouse.

Daphne sighed.

What to Do When Your Cat Brings You a 'Gift'

Daphne: Okay. It looks like everyone gets the concept. I’m going to release four mice somewhere in the room. You need to listen for one of them, then practice your pounce. Do NOT hurt the mouse. We are practicing.

Tyler: I can’t eat my mouse? Why should I bother catching it?

Daphne: These are special mice who have been trained to help teach you. They’re not a snack.

Mindy: Thank goodness. I don’t like the taste of mice.

Lonely Cat On The Dock - Stock Video | Motion Array

Joseph: Are you sure you want to work on the dock? I don’t think they practice catch-and-release with what they find.

Mindy: I only want to work there until I find a boyfriend.

Joseph: Maybe you can get a job sitting there looking pretty. That way they won’t miss you when you quit.

Daphne: All right. I released the mice behind the walls. Everyone find a mouse.

The young cats stalked around the room listening carefully. One by one, they found a mouse to concentrate on. Each cat sat patiently waiting for their mouse to appear. Joseph pounced first and came up with the mouse in his mouth.

Funny Cat and Mouse Videos | Tom and Jerry Real Life Best funny - YouTube

Daphne: Excellent form! You’re a natural. You can let your mouse go.

Joseph released the mouse and thanked Daphne. He went to sit on the sofa and wait for the other cats. Molly was the next one with a mouse. She dropped it, and held it with her paw.

Daphne: Pawsome! You’ll be fine working as a mouser.

Molly joined Joseph on the sofa just as Mindy came up with her mouse. As soon as Mindy tasted the mouse, she dropped it and cried.

Mindy: Eww! That’s disgusting! How can you cats stand to have those in your mouths.  Blech!!

A man was mowing his front yard when his attractive, blonde, female neighbor came out of the house and went str… | Laughing cat, Laughing animals, Laughing pictures

Daphne started laughing. The other cats joined in.

Daphne: Mindy, I’m afraid you’re going to have to find a different line of work. You are definitely not cut out to be a mouser.

Mindy: Fine. This is revolting. I’m don’t want to date any cat that’s impressed by this.

karen (Woodside, NY)'s review of I Could Pee On This: And Other Poems By Cats

Mindy jumped up on the sofa to watch Tyler. He seemed to be having trouble locating his mouse. Suddenly, the mouse ran out past him. Tyler took off after the mouse only to lose him in a corner. Tyler waited a while longer, but the mouse didn’t reappear.

Tyler: This is stupid. I’m not going to wait all day for some stupid mouse to come out. I’ll find a job doing something else.

Mindy: Me too. Let’s get out of here.

Tyler and Mindy left together.

PsBattle: Two cats walking side by side | Cute cats, Pretty cats, Pets

Daphne: Molly and Joseph, you did excellent work today. I’d like to invite you both back next week for a follow-up lesson in stalking.

Both cats nodded their heads. They left together talking excitedly about how much more fun it was to catch a mouse than they thought it was going to be.

Two Cats Cuddle While Walking Together and the Internet Can't Handle It

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

 

 

16

Critter Cove HS Graduation Day – Part 2

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16 Cats-Graduation Day... ideas | cats, cats and kittens, feline

Where we are – Suzy and her friends are getting ready to graduate from high school. You can find Part 1 of the the story here.

Principal Atkins gave a short welcome to the graduation ceremony, and explained the order of events. First up was the class president to give a retrospective of their years together.

Education | New York Au Pairs

The background screen lit up with scenes from their time together at Critter Cove. Suzy was surprised at how young everyone looked at the beginning. And goofy. Had it really been that long?

There was the first Homecoming Dance. Too bad the football team had lost 67-0. And it poured. And a fight broke out between the girls on the Homecoming Court. She had forgotten about someone stuffing the ballot box.

Diego Braghi: Tiger roar paralyzing power

Finally they got to Senior Prom. How beautiful everyone looked. Except that kid that almost got eaten by the tiger. He and his date looked pretty stressed.

Fancy Otter : Otters

The valedictorian’s speech was next. He was a handsome otter named John who was headed to a local industrial school. Suzy knew that Liza was still hoping he’d notice her before he left for school. Not likely; he was the most introverted otter anyone had ever met.

Suzy was daydreaming through the speeches. Who would have thought that these people who were so interesting in person would be so boring when they gave a speech? Before she knew it, it was time to line up for the procession.

horses wearing shoes | Famous After I Die Art & Digital Blog

They had practiced the procession several times at school. The teacher who was running things kept telling them to walk lightly; they didn’t want to sound like animals on the stage. Liza and Suzy thought it was pretty ridiculous. After all, they were cats. And some of the other kids had hooves.

They got to watch things on a closed-circuit TV. The principal started alphabetically, and it was going pretty smoothly until

“Scott Balinski”

Twin cats that have mirrored fur patterns of each other : interestingasfuck

Someone looked a little confused at the side of the stage, so Mr. Atkins motioned him forward. Sean Balinski took the diploma holder and smiled. How could they have forgotten his name? Everybody knew Sean and his twin Mike who had been unable to graduate due to academic probation. It had been the hot topic for the past month.

At last it was Suzy’s turn. She was so nervous, she almost forgot to shake paws when she crossed the stage. She did forget to smile. Good thing no one was supposed to be taking pictures until the end. She returned to her seat next to Liza.

THEY'RE NOT BOOING THEY'RE CHANTING MOO - Animal Comedy - Animal Comedy, funny animals, animal gifs

Mr. Atkins announced the name of the class president. A few of the students booed. How embarrassing. Apparently, she had led one too many food fights in the cafeteria. It had been a long year in some ways.

After everyone had crossed the stage, Mr. Atkins announced that the class had officially graduated. Some of the kids looks thrilled, a few looked relieved. Most of the parents looked like they were ready to head for the exits.

A final rendition of the class song, and it was all over. Except the pictures.

Meet Manny the selfie cat who just can't get enough of the camera - and neither can his pet pals - World News - Mirror Online

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

 

13

Critter Cove HS Graduation Day

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These animals really wish they were graduating | HelloGiggles

*Based on (semi) true events

Suzy was really nervous. She was on her way to graduation with her boyfriend Pete and his parents. Did his mom always talk this much?

Pete’s Mom: So Pete. Are you going to be sitting with all of your friends tonight?

Pete: Everyone except Jim. He has a pretty girlfriend to sit with.

Pete’s Dad: Your girlfriend is pretty too.

Clyde Willis (clydewillis1pi) | Cute cats, Cute animals, Cats

Awkward. Suzy and Pete weren’t sitting together at the ceremony. They hadn’t been going out for very long and hadn’t even discussed sitting together. But now Suzy was annoyed that Pete hadn’t asked her. The conversation kind of sat there.

Finally, they arrived at the auditorium. Suzy found her best friend Liza and they started talking about how excited they were. Everyone was supposed to get there at least an hour before the ceremony so there were a lot of animals roaming around.

The 6 kung fu kings of the animal kingdom | Animalogic

Liza: Did you hear what happened with Benji? He’s such a loser!

Suzy: What?

Liza: He and some friends ate some kind of herbal stuff that made him really agitated. He kicked out the glass in one of the doors on the first floor.

Suzy: Is he OK?

Liza (giggling): He’s fine. But they made him leave. He’s going to get his diploma in the mail. His parents are SO mad.

Collective Nouns for Groups of Animals | Mental Floss

Suzy wasn’t really sure which one of the stoners was Benji. That was pretty stupid. But at least he wouldn’t have to stand around forever. They weren’t really getting their diplomas until later either. They would be getting the holders when they walked across the stage.

Finally it was time to take their seats. It was kind of weird the way the school had set it up. The kids were allowed to sit with their friends, but when it was time to cross the stage they were supposed to get in alphabetical order. It was probably just as well there wouldn’t actually be anything personalized. Suzy was glad her name was in the middle of the alphabet.

This Two-Minute Video Of A Cat Just Sitting In A Chair Is Perfect In Every Way

Liza: Can you believe we finally made it?

Suzy: I know. I can’t believe we won’t be seeing these people ever again.

She started reading the program.

Class colors: Crimson and pink

Not too sure about those. They looked awful with the school colors of blue and gold when she had hung them on her hat.

Class song: Don’t You Forget About Me

Who had chosen that? It was, like, 30 years old. Not the choice of anyone she knew.

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Class flower: Rose

Not the favorite either. They had chosen an onion blossom. It was a really pretty flower and different from what other schools had. Administration said it wasn’t a real flower. The rose came in second. Lame.

Liza: Look! Pete’s waving at you!

Cat sneaking a peek! | Cats, Cute cats, Crazy cats

Suzy turned around and waved. She noticed that the student section was almost full. What would happen if someone came in now? Would they really make them sit with their parents in the audience? 

Then she noticed her friends Carrie and Vicky sneaking in. They sat just behind her. Looked like it wouldn’t be a problem.

Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the Commencement Exercises for the 2021 graduating class of Critter Cove High School.

To be continued.

May 22, 2020: Week 10, Volume 5 - Mendon-Upton Music

Pictures courtesy of Google Images