Category Archives: Stories

14

Felines and Friends Academy Elections – Part 3

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Image result for bear

Where we are: Bella Bear has decided to run for student government to represent the various types of non-feline animals at the academy. She has been promised the support of many of those animals. To read the first two parts, click on the links to the right.

Several days passed. As promised, the other animals volunteered to do anything they could. The night before her first rally, Bella was nervous.

Bella: I don’t know why I said I’d do this. I’m never going to win. All I’m doing is wasting everyone’s time.

Daphne: You don’t have to win.

Bella: I know, I know. Just running is an important first step for us.

Daphne: No. I mnean you don’t have to get the most votes to win.

Image result for animals voting

Bella: What do you mean?

Daphne: What office did you register to run for?

Bella: I don’t remember. That’s kind of embarrassing. I am going to look like an idiot tomorrow.

Daphne: No, you won’t. You didn’t need to sign up, except to run for a leadership spot. The animal who gets the most votes is President, the runner-up is Vice-President, and third place becomes Treasurer.

Bella: How could I have missed that?

Image result for group of cats

Daphne: You were pretty upset about the cats running everything. You weren’t really focusing on much else.

Bella: Has it always been this way?

Daphne: As far as I know. You campaign for President, but as long as you’re in the top three, you’re elected to an office.

Bella: That’s why those cats were always in a herd. That makes sense.

Daphne: I told you the were nice kitties.

Bella: I better get going on my speech.

Image result for bear meme

When Bella was waiting to go on the stage, she was surprised to see that there were a lot of animals waiting to hear what she had to say. There were even a few cats.

Becky Squirrel: Look. The cats sent spies to see what you’re saying.

Bella: Oh, no! That’s awful.

Daphne: No, it isn’t. If they didn’t think you were a threat, they would ignore you. Besides, some of them may just want to hear what you have to say.

Ollie Otter: I agree. I always go to all the speeches just to hear what they are saying. Maybe they don’t really care if they vote for a cat.

Bella: Well, it’s too late to back out, so let’s do this.

Image result for animals clapping

As she walked onto the stage, Bella heard the cheering and clapping. She hadn’t realized how many animals were ready for a change.

Bella: Thank you all for coming. I’m honored that so many of you wanted to hear me speak.

From the back: It’s about time someone showed those cats the we can’t be pushed around anymore. We’re gonna fight back. Watch out kitties, it’s our turn to roar.

The other animals began cheering the speaker. Bella was appalled. She didn’t want to fight the cats. She wanted to work with them.

Bella: No. That’s not the message at all. The cats haven’t hurt us. We just want them to understand what we want, too. We want to have a say in what activities and classes are offered. We want to be a team.

Image result for animals clapping

The crowd quieted down as Bella talked about her plans and what she hoped to do, starting with afterschool and lunchtime clubs and programs more oriented toward some of the other animals. The audience listened quietly and cheered at the end.

Bella was thrilled. They seemed to really appreciate what she was saying. When she left the stage, she was surrounded by supporters. She noticed a couple of cats standing to the side and went over.

Bella: Hi, I’m Bella Bear. I’m so glad you could make it to my rally.

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Phoebe: We were just wondering if you meant what you said to those mockingbirds.

Bella: Sorry? We don’t have birds at the academy.

Phoebe: I meant the weasels who wanted to fight with us cats. Did you really mean what you said about wanted to work together? Or is that just a cover for the election?

Bella: Not at all. I don’t want to be excluded anymore, but the cats are a huge part of this school. After talking with some of you, I understand that we need to participate to get our ideas heard. I’m trying to be that voice.

Phyllis: We were hoping you’d say that. Quite a few cats are in favor non-cats having a bigger say in things. But we want to make sure it’s someone who won’t make things worse by turning the school into pro-cat and anti-cat enemies.

Image result for friendly bear

Bella: Oh, yes! I completely agree.

Phyllis: Then we’d like to work with you on the best way to reach the cats.

Phoebe: And your team can work it into your message. What do you think?

Bella: I love the idea! Let me introduce you to my best friend, Daphne. She’s the one who keeps all of us on track.

Next week: Will Bella cooperative strategy work?

Image result for two bears

All pictures courtesy of Google Images.

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11

Felines and Friends Academy Elections – Part 2

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Image result for animal election

Where we are: Bella Bear is frustrated that cats run everything at the Academy. She talks to the cats about it, and they recommend that she run for student government office. Her friend Daphne agrees, but Bella isn’t too sure.

Bella couldn’t decide what to do. She knew that the cats ad Daphne were right. Someone had to represent the other animals, but why did it have to be her? Maybe she could get someone else to run. But who?

Image result for otters

Bella: Ollie, don’t you think the rest of the animals deserve representation in the student government?

Ollie: That’s a great idea, Bella! We otters have almost nothing in common with the cats. Sometimes it’s hard to get them to understand what we’re saying.

Bella: Exactly. That’s why I thought you would be the perfect animal for us to get behind. The rest of us could help with signs, social media, —

Ollie: Wait a minute, Bella. I said it was a great idea. I don’t have time to do it. I’m captain of the swim team, do gymnastics, and still need to study.

Bella: I understand. Do you have any ideas?

Image result for squirrels

Ollie: I would ask one of the squirrels. They always seem to have extra time to run around.

Bella: Good idea. Thanks.

Bella finally found the squirrels racing around the courtyard. She asked them to stop so she could explain her idea.

Joe: That’s a wonderful idea. We’re all behind you. Just tell us what you need us to do.

Image result for squirrels

The other squirrels nodded.

Becky: We could make signs and hold rallies.

Bella: Actually, I was thinking that one of you could run for office.

Becky: I don’t think that’s a good idea. If we have two non-cats running, it would probably split our votes. You should definitely be our candidate.

Bella: I meant someone to run instead of me.

Joe: No, you’d stand a better chance of winning. Everyone takes bears more seriously than squirrels. They think we’re cute and brainless.

The other squirrels agreed. Bella thanked them and left. She talked to the sheep and goats. Everyone was enthusiastic about the idea, but no one wanted to be the first non-cat to run for office. She went through all the species in the school with no luck.

Image result for red foxes

The only one she hadn’t talked to was Greta, the red fox who was at the school as an exchange student. Bella decided to talk to her. Foxes were like dogs with fluffy tails, weren’t they? Surely a dog would want to run against a bunch of cats.

Bella: Hi, Greta. How are you?

Greta: I am well. How are you?

Bella: I’m fine. I was just wondering if you’d heard that we’re having student government elections in a few weeks?

Greta: Yes, I have. It sounds very exciting. I am looking forward to watching the whole process.

Bella: You might have noticed that all of our leaders are cats. We were thinking that it might be nice to have a non-cat run to offer a different viewpoint.

Greta: Yes. That does sound like a good idea. Other perspectives are always helpful to a group as a whole.

Image result for red foxes memes

Bella: I was hoping that you would be our candidate. I’m sure you have fresh ideas.

Greta: I am honored that you would think of me as a good candidate. But I really don’t understand how a student government works. Besides, I think that some students would have trouble understanding me. Not only is my native language fox, I have a rather thick accent when I speak cat.

Bella had to agree. Greta would probably need a translator at her rallies and speeches. She thanked Greta and walked away, dejected. Bella went to find Daphne.

Bella: I can’t believe it. No one wants to run for student government.

Image result for animal election

Daphne: Why can’t you believe it? You don’t want to run. You had a great idea, and you won’t do anything to make it happen.

Bella: That’s not true. I’d do anything that was needed to get them elected.

Daphne: OK. Since no one will run, we’ll continue to do everything from the cats’ viewpoint. And you’ll keep complaining about it. But I don’t want to hear it. You had a chance to try to change it, and you walked away.

Bella: I’d never win.

 Daphne: That’s not the point. The rest of us need to stand up for ourselves. Besides, how do you know you won’t win?

Bella: I have no idea how to get animals to vote for me.

Daphne: The rest of us will work on that.

Bella went home to think about it. If anyone was going to do it, it would have to be her. Finally, she filled out the paperwork for the election. Now came the hard part.

Next week: Bella’s campaign and the election.

Image result for animal election

15

Felines and Friends Academy Elections

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Image result for bears and cats

Bella Bear: I am so mad!

Daphne Bear: What’s wrong?

Bella: Those stupid cats think they run everything.

Daphne: Anything in particular? Or is this just a generalized rant?

Bella: The Student Council has decided that the end-of-the year trip should be to the State Park.

Daphne: What’s wrong with that?

Image result for cats jumping

Bella: Nothing, I guess. But the games are all about running, and jumping, and catching mice.

Daphne: They won’t care if we don’t participate.

Bella: I know. But what about the rest of us? The squirrels don’t want to chase mice. They’re cousins or something. In fact, we used to have mice in school. Until the cats made too many jokes about lunchtime.

Daphne: That was in extremely poor taste.

Bella: And what about the other animals? Sheep don’t chase mice, and neither do goats. It’s ridiculous.

Image result for cats chasing mice memes

Daphne: All right. What are you going to do about it?

Bella: What do you mean? They’re in charge. What they say, goes.

Daphne: Have you told them how you feel? Do you have better ideas for the games?

Bella thought for a few minutes.

Bella: I guess I don’t. It’s hard to think of things that everyone can do. But they should think of some things that don’t only appeal to cats.

Daphne: If you’re that upset, you should talk to them. They seem like nice kitties.

Image result for bears and cats

Bella: I don’t know. They intimidate me.

Daphne (laughing): Seriously? You’re, like, 10 times as big as they are.

Bella: But they always hang around in a group. It’s like they’re in a gang.

Daphne: You’re being ridiculous. They won’t hurt you. They’re kitties, not ogres.

Bella (sighing): I guess you’re right.

Bella got up her nerve and went to see the cats on the Student Council. The leader was Cherie, a beautiful Maine Coon.

Image result for maine coon cats

Cherie: Hi Bella. What’s up?

Bella: I was wondering if we could talk about the picnic?

Cherie: Of course.

Bella: It’s just that the games all seem to be cat-centric. The rest of us won’t have anything to do. It happens a lot around here. We can study cat dialects, but there aren’t any classes to learn bear or anything else. And most of the music classes are cat music. We need more diversity.

Image result for cat music

Cherie: I understand what you’re saying, Bella. But this school was started by cats, for cats. There are a lot more cats. We don’t intentionally leave you out. But we don’t know anything about bears, or most other animals.

Bella: Almost every animal in student government is a cat. And all of the leadership.

Cherie: That’s not our fault. The only animals that ran for offices were cats.

Bella: Oh, that’s right. I forgot about that.

Image result for bears and cats

Jasmine Calico: If you’re so interested in changing things, you should run for office. The elections for next year are coming up.

Bella: Oh, no. I couldn’t do that.

Jasmine: Then you can’t complain about what we do. We work hard to do what we think is best for the students. If you don’t think we’re doing a good job, then try to change things. You won’t get anywhere just by complaining.

The other cats nodded in agreement. None of them looked angry or intimidating. In fact, they looked like they thought they were giving her good advice. Bella thanked them and left.

Image result for angry bear

Bella: I am so frustrated. Those cats are so arrogant!

Daphne: What now?

Bella: Would you believe that they said the whole thing is my fault?

Daphne: Really? Why would they say that?

Bella: They said that if I wanted to change things, I should run for office.

Daphne: So they won’t change the games?

Bella: I forgot to ask them about that.

Image result for cats making a decision meme

Daphne: What did you talk about?

Bella: I told them that the school is too cat-centric, and that some of the other animals needed to be considered when important decisions are made.

Daphne: That sounds reasonable.

Bella: I thought so. But then they told me that they’re cats, and they think like cats. If I wanted things to change, I needed to get involved.

Daphne: Were they mean about it?

Bella: No. But they’re in charge, they need to change things.

Image result for bears thinking

Daphne: They told you they think like cats. If you want them to think like bears, or sheep, or whatever, you need to teach them. We don’t think like cats.

Bella: I guess. But I can’t run. No one will vote for me.

Daphne: Why not? You’re passionate about it.

Bella: I don’t know what to say.

Daphne: You’ll think of something. Do you want things to change or not?

Bella: I need to think about it.

Next week: Will Bella have enough confidence to run for office?

Image result for bears thinking

All pictures courtesy of Google Images

6

Seal City High School Final Exams – Part 2

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Image result for seals in the sun

Where we are: It’s finals time at Seal City High School. The seal with the highest score will get a scholarship to the local college. Sandy wants to win it, but Jeremy has some secret plan to finish first. Sandy followed him home and discovered that the secret might be some drink that his mother is giving him.

Jeremy: What if Sandy does win? She’s a nice girl, and she needs that scholarship. I might not even go to college.

Mom: That’s not the point. You can win, and you’re going to.

Jeremy: I need to lie down for a little while.

Mom: Sorry, honey. You only have a week until finals. Drink this.

Image result for seals drink meme

Jeremy took the container and looked at it.

Mom: Go ahead. You know it goes down better if you do it fast.

Jeremy: What’s in this stuff anyway?

Mom: I don’t know. Something to make your muscles grow. Just drink it and make your father happy.

Sandy swam away. Jeremy didn’t have a new way of exercising; he was drinking something. He was cheating! But he was only doing what his father told him to do. Jeremy didn’t even know what he was drinking. Was that still cheating?

It sounded like Jeremy didn’t know what he was doing. And it seemed like he didn’t want to do it at all. And it was making him sick. What a mess! What should she do?

Image result for confused animal meme

Sandy was sure that he was drinking some kind of human protein or hormone. She had read about humans taking them to get bigger muscles. Jeremy wasn’t going to look like that, was he? She didn’t think that humans with huge muscles were all that attractive. What would a seal look like?

If she told the school, Jeremy would get kicked out. If she told Jacki, everyone would know. That would be too embarrassing. Besides, someone would turn him in.

Maybe she should talk to Jeremy. If he knew he was cheating, he’d want to stop. She knew he was competitive, but she was sure he wouldn’t want to win by cheating.

But he didn’t want to cheat, his father did. Besides, how would she explain how she found out? She had been spying on him.

Image result for seals swimming

When she arrived at the pool, Jacki was waiting for her. They practiced for a few hours, but Sandy couldn’t concentrate.

What was that stuff? How sick was it making Jeremy? She knew she couldn’t win if Jeremy cheated. But she couldn’t turn him in either.

Finals were taken over two days. The weather was perfect; cool and sunny. The first day, the students would be tested on speaking, fishing, and swimming.

As expected, Sandy excelled in the speaking. Everyone was doing well, but she stayed on top. Jeremy spoke last. There was something wrong. He was speaking too quickly and couldn’t stay on topic.

Jeremy fished first. It was a timed test. He came back with 25 fish, completely crushing the old record of 18. Sandy had 16. Normally, she would have been happy with the score, but she knew that she was going to be no match for Jeremy.

Sandy started to cry. It was so unfair! She couldn’t fight whatever his father had given Jeremy.

Image result for sad seals

Sandy had always been a faster swimmer than Jeremy. But he beat here without showing any effort that day. Sandy watched him, dejected.

But when Jeremy got back on land, he started to vomit. He couldn’t seem to stop. Sandy watched in horror. Was that stuff making him so sick?

Jeremy’s mother was crying and yelling at her husband. The emergency medical team took him to the hospital.

The next morning, the students gathered to take the last two tests. Jeremy wasn’t there. Ms. Hopper, one of their teachers spoke to them.

Ms. Hopper: Jeremy won’t be joining us today; he’s extremely sick. He was given something created for humans meant to make him do better on his finals. Apparently, the party responsible didn’t bother to find out if this substance would hurt a seal.

Image result for sick animal meme

Sandy: Is Jeremy going to be OK?

Ms. Hopper: Yes. Luckily, they were able to stop the poison.

Sandy: So, he gets to graduate with us?

Ms. Hopper: Yes. Obviously, he won’t be competing for the scholarship. But his previous work qualifies him for graduation. Now let’s finish testing.

Graduation night.

Jeremy’s parents helped him to his seat. He looked like he had lost all his fat. His fur was dull and patchy. The other seals gathered around to see if they could help.

Image result for group of seals

Sandy: I’m glad you’re going to be OK.

Jeremy: Thanks, Sandy. And congratulations on winning the scholarship. I’m really happy for you.

Sandy: Do you have any plans?

Jeremy: After this happened, I decided I want to be a nurse. The ones at the hospital were so awesome.

Over the speakers: Everyone please be seated so we can begin.

Image result for animal graduation meme

6

Seal City High School Final Exams

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Image result for group of seals

It was only 2 weeks until the end of the school year and Sandy Seal was preparing for final exams. It was here last year of school, and she wanted to finish well. The top student would get a full scholarship to the local college.

That was the only way Sandy could fulfill her dream of being a teacher. There were three younger pups still at home, and her parents didn’t have the extra money. If she went to work, she might never get back to school.

Sandy was a good student, and her only real competition was Jeremy. He was a seal from a very rich family. His father sold fish to the local hotel, and they paid very well. Needless to say, Jeremy was used to getting what he wanted.

Image result for seal in water

She knew that she could win the speaking competition. Jeremy would win the fishing test. She was a fast swimmer, but he could dive deeper. That only left the obstacle course.

It was a test of skill and speed. There were hoops to swim through and objects to go over, under, and around. It was hard, and no one knew how it would be put together until the day of the race.

Sandy practiced every day with her best friend, Jacki. Jacki wasn’t as fast as Jeremy, but she was very good with the obstacles. Jacki watched Sandy practice with the obstacles, and helped her improve her time getting around them.

As far as anyone could see, Jeremy wasn’t practicing at all. Sandy couldn’t understand it. Was he working at night? Sandy was getting nervous. Why didn’t he have to practice? Finally, she couldn’t stand it anymore.

Image result for seals singing

Sandy: Hey, Jeremy.

Jeremy: Hey, Sandy. What’s up?

Sandy: Haven’t seen you around the pool much. I thought maybe we could work out together. Not much time before finals.

Jeremy: I’d love to Sandy, but I’m not really working out this year. I have a new trainer and a whole new training regimen.

Sandy: Really? What are you doing?

Jeremy: It’s kind of top-secret. But it’s really working.

Sandy: What’s the big secret?

Image result for secret memes

Jeremy: It wouldn’t be much of a secret if I told you.

Sandy: I guess not. So, you’re just not doing any practice before finals?

Jeremy: I told you. I’m using my new process.

Sandy: So where did you find this super-secret process?

Jeremy looked around to see if anyone was listening.

Jeremy: I’m not supposed to tell, but my dad found out about it at the hotel.

Sandy: He got it from the humans?

Image result for spa memes

Jeremy: Shh! He could get in a lot of trouble.

Sandy: Sorry. But be really careful. Humans do some incredibly stupid things at times.

Jeremy: My dad said the people looked OK. They use it in their “spa”.

Sandy: OK. But if you start slapping us on the back and talking about football, we’re no longer friends.

Jeremy (laughing): Deal.

Image result for seals slapping flippers

Sandy left, but she was worried about Jeremy. Things that got wrapped up with humans never seemed to end well for the seals.  That was how her Aunt Emma ended up in Newfoundland rather than Nome.

Aunt Emma was going to visit a friend and a human told her the “best” way to get there. Aunt Emma was lucky to get back home again.

Sandy wasn’t sure what to do. Jeremy was arrogant, and could be a jerk, but she didn’t want him getting hurt.

After school the next day, Sandy told Jacki that she needed to do something before they practiced. She went to the cove where Jeremy and his family lived. Sandy watched him greet his mother.

Image result for group of seals

Jeremy: Hi, Mom! How was your day?

Mom: Great, Sweetie! How about you?

Jeremy: Okay. My stomach feels weird, and my head hurts.

Mom: I hope you’re not getting sick.

Jeremy: I don’t think so. I think it’s that stuff Dad got for me to drink. I don’t like it.

Mom: But look how much faster you are since you started using it.

Jeremy: But I was fast before.

Mom: You know that your father can’t stand the idea of you getting beaten by a girl.

Next week: What is he drinking? Is Jeremy getting sick from whatever he’s been drinking?

Image result for groups of seals

 

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

15

O, Give Me a Home – Conclusion

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Image result for bison relaxing

Where we are: The Bison family has come to Wyoming to visit Jen’s brother Bruce. He’s an aspiring actor and has just gotten his first role in a commercial. Unfortunately, Bruce has turned into a caffeine addict and has trouble getting up. His brother-in-law John accompanies Bruce to the commercial to ensure that he makes it. You can see Part One here (or use the links for any of the parts at the right).

Jen: How’d it go?

John: He didn’t embarrass himself.

Bruce: It was great! They said I was made for the movies.

John: They said they might have another project for you. Hopefully one where they use your face.

Image result for bison face

Bruce: Hardwax Jack said I have potential. And he should know; he used to work in Hollywood.

John: That’s true. He was in that show with the dogs.

Bruce: That’s right. Bernie’s Buddies. He lived next door.

JJ: I’ve never heard of that show.

John: That’s because it was cancelled after a couple of episodes.

Image result for bison with fence

Bruce: That doesn’t matter. He has lots of friends. He said he’d put in a good word for me.

John: After you reminded him that your name is Bruce, not Barney.

Bruce: So what? He meets lots of people. He gave me his card.

Jen: That sounds wonderful Bruce. When do you think we’ll see the commercial?

Image result for hoof wax

Bruce: They’re not really sure. The Hardwax folks need to look at it first.

JJ: Did they pay you a lot?

Jen: JJ! That’s not polite.

Bruce: It’s OK. I got 2 cases of hoof-wax. I get money every time they show the commercial.

JJ: Wow! That’s a lot of hoof-wax!

John: Same old Bruce.

Image result for cat with telephone

(apparently bison don’t really use telephones)

Bruce goes back to work the next night. The Bison family spends their vacation time relaxing. They notice that whenever they see Bruce, he’s looking at his phone. After a few days, they become curious.

JJ: Uncle Bruce, why do you keep looking at your phone?

Bruce: I don’t want to miss a call from the Hollywood people.

JJ: Doesn’t your phone ring like mine does?

Bruce: I might miss it.

JJ: You could call them back.

Bruce (irritated): I don’t want to make them wait.

JJ: Oh.

Image result for bison talking

A few weeks go by, and it was time for the Bison family to go home. Bruce still hasn’t heard anything and is getting very agitated.

Jen: Don’t worry, Bruce. I’m sure they’ll call.

Bruce: How do you know? I’m probably stuck here forever.

Jen: So what if you are? Wyoming’s a nice place.

Bruce starts to growl something when his phone goes off. He looks at Jen.

Image result for bison at work

Bruce: It’s them. (Into the phone) Hello.

. . .

Bruce: This is Bruce.

. . .  Bruce listens for a long time

Bruce: Yes. I would definitely be interested. When does it start?

. . . 

Bruce: That’s fantastic! I look forward to it. Talk to you soon.

Jen: What’d he say?

Image result for happy bison

Bruce: He has a long-term job for me!

Jen screams and hugs Bruce. John and JJ run in.

JJ: Mom! What’s wrong?

Jen: Your Uncle Bruce got a full-time acting job.

JJ: Awesome, Uncle Bruce! Tell us about it.

Image result for wolf and bison

Bruce: It’s a mini-series called Lone Wolf and Billy Bison. It’s about detectives. I’m Billy Bison, Lone Wolf’s bumbling assistant.

John (under his breath): Type casting.

Bruce: We’re making 6 episodes. If it does well, we’ll get renewed for another 6.

JJ: That is so cool, Uncle Bruce. Are you going to Hollywood?

Bruce: No. That’s the best part. It’s set in the Badlands in South Dakota. I can stay with you guys while we’re filming.

CRASH!! John falls over in a dead faint.

Image result for bison with telephone meme

All pictures courtesy of Google Images

15

O, Give Me a Home – Part 3

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Image result for herd of buffalo

Where we are: The Bison family has gone to visit Jen’s brother in Wyoming. John, Jen’s husband, is finally impressed with Bruce when he finds out that he has a regular job and a job filming a commercial. The only possible issue is that Bruce works at night and the commercial will film during the day. Part 1 is here and Part 2 is here.

For the next few days, Bruce takes his family around the area to meet the herd and see the scenery. He seems popular; a couple of the girls said he was cute.

Sunday afternoon, Bruce said he wanted to go to bed early because he’d have to be extra alert on Monday morning.

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Bruce: OK guys, I’m off to bed. Seen you in the a.m.

JJ: Good night, Uncle Bruce. Sweet dreams.

Bruce settled down in his usual spot under the trees, but couldn’t get to sleep. Finally, he decided to get up and walk around. Then he laid back down to sleep. He couldn’t get comfortable. Next thing he knew, it was morning and JJ was standing in front of him.

JJ: It’s time to get up. It’s the big day!

Bruce: Leave me alone. I’m tired.

JJ: Mom said it’s time for you to get up.

Bruce: Tell your mother I’ll get up when I’m ready.

Image result for angry bison

JJ runs back to his mother.

Jen: Is Uncle Bruce on his way over?

JJ: No. He’s really grumpy. He said he’d get up when he was ready.

John: I knew it. Same old Bruce. He’s going to mess this up.

Jen glares at John.

Jen: I’ll go talk to him.

Bruce: I said I wanted to sleep.

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Jen: You have to get up. Your commercial’s today.

Bruce: I can’t. I have a terrible headache.

Jen: How much of that caffeine do you take?

Bruce: I don’t know. Enough to stay awake.

Jen: How long have you been taking it?

Bruce: Hmm. Maybe a year.

Jen: How often do you not take it?

Bruce: What’s with all the questions? You’re not my mother, you know.

Jen: No, but I’m smart enough to know that you’re having a reaction to not having enough caffeine in your system.

Bruce: Great. I would have been fine if you hadn’t come and messed up my schedule.

Image result for too much caffeine meme

Jen: This is your own fault, not ours.

Bruce: Forget it. Just go away.

Jen goes back to her family. A few minutes later, JJ goes back to Bruce.

Bruce: What do you want?

JJ: Mom said you should eat this.

Bruce: What is it? It looks like a bunch of grass.

JJ: It’s special grass. She says it will make you feel better.

Bruce: I don’t want it.

JJ: You have to. It’s your big day.

Bruce: I don’t care. I’m not eating it.

JJ: Dad! I need your help.

John comes over and glares at Bruce.

JJ: He won’t eat it.

John: Bruce, you can either eat the grass or I can feed it to you. You are not going to disappoint Jen one more time.

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Bruce looks up at his much larger brother-in-law.

Bruce: Fine. Give it to me.

Bruce takes the grass and chews it.

Bruce: This tastes awful.

John: I don’t care. Eat it all. We’re leaving in an hour. Get yourself together.

JJ helps Bruce brush out his coat. Bruce wouldn’t let him touch the hooves. They needed to look as bad as possible. By the time John came back, Bruce was feeling better.

John and Bruce arrived at the shoot just before he was due. John watches everything and decides that Bruce had done well. Soon they were back at the meadow.

Conclusion: How did Bruce do on the commercial? Does he have a future in Hollywood?

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