22

The RHCCC: Auditions

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The ladies of the Real House Cats of Crabapple Cove  were working on the annual fundraiser for the Crabapple Cove Center for Abandoned/Feral Cats. Fluffy was in charge of the dinner, and she had asked her friends Miki, Daphne, and Bella to come so she could get other opinions.

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One of the most important things to do was to set up the entertainment. They hadn’t been happy with their choice the previous year. It had been a troupe of dog acrobats. They were recommended by a friend of Bella’s at the library and their videos looked great. The night of the dinner, they told Fluffy that  one of the members was sick and they had brought a backup. The backup dog hadn’t performed in a while and mostly stood on stage looking confused. Several parts of the routine had to be scrapped. It was a disaster.

This year Fluffy had decided to hold live auditions rather than taking a referral. They had narrowed the field to three candidates who looked promising: a singing owl, a pair of ballroom-dancing bears, and a gorilla who played the piano.  

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First up was the owl. She was smaller than they were expecting. That was a good thing since they did not want to scare the donors with a huge raptor in the house. No one had ever heard an owl sing before, but her video had sounded excellent.

Fluffy: What are you going to sing?

Owl: An owl love song.

Fluffy: Sounds good. Did you bring music?

Owl: No, it’s just me.

Fluffy: You can start whenever you’re ready.

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The owl cleared her throat and started making the most horrible sounds they had ever heard.

Bella: That’s worse than any cat fight I’ve ever heard.

Daphne: I’ve never heard anything like that down at the docks either.

Fluffy held up a paw to stop the owl.

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Fluffy: Honey, what type of owl are you?

Owl: I’m a screech owl. Why?

Fluffy: That singing was pretty bad. Are you sure that’s what you want to sing for an audition?

Owl (flustered): I’ll try another one. It’s an owl folk song.

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The cats sat back waiting for a melodic serenade. Instead, they got the same horrible sound as before. Once again, Fluffy held up her paw. 

Fluffy: Sweetie, that just doesn’t sound like the video you sent us. Do you have a sore throat or something?

Owl: Honestly?

Fluffy: Of course.

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Owl: I really wanted to perform here, so I had a nightingale sing on the video. I thought she would sound better.

Fluffy: That’s definitely true. But you must have known you would have to sing for yourself if you got an audition.

Owl: Yes, but I thought I would sounds better live and you would  like the song.

Fluffy: Let us talk it over. Please have a seat for a moment.

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The cats whispered to each other.

Daphne: There is no way I am recommending her. She sounds like she’s getting ready to attack something.

Miki: I agree. She’s scary.

Bella: Sorry, but I can’t listen to her any more. She’s worse than the dogs.

Fluffy called the owl back to the stage.

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Fluffy: I just don’t think it’s going to work out. Some of our guests are pretty sensitive and it wouldn’t be right to have a raptor as our entertainment.

Owl: I understand.

She sadly walked off the stage and out the door. The ladies looked at each other in relief. Hopefully the other two acts would be better.

They were not disappointed. The bears danced a beautiful waltz, and the gorilla played Mozart. It was decision time. With the performers backstage, the cats discussed which one would be better for the dinner.

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Miki: I liked the gorilla. And I don’t think anyone would be intimidated by him.

Daphne: I really don’t think folks will be afraid of dancing bears. They’re very sweet when they talk.

Bella: Do we have enough money to hire both of them?

Fluffy: I could probably make it work. I’ll make up the difference if we’re short.

Daphne: Isn’t that going to be an awfully long program?

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Once again the cats conferred.

 Miki: I agree that we don’t want it to run to long. Do you think they might work together?

Bella: That’s a great idea.

Daphne: Are you sure you want to do that? They don’t even know each other. It might turn out like last year.

Fluffy: I don’t think we’re going to agree on which one to hire, so let’s see if they’ll work together.

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She called all three entertainers back out and explained their idea. The bears and gorilla held a conversation among themselves.

Bear: We think it could work. We would need a recording of what we will be dancing to.

Gorilla: I can provide that. This idea actually is pretty interesting.

The bears nodded.

Bear: We really think it could be impressive.

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They decided on a Strauss waltz. The gorilla sent the bears a recording of him playing the piece. They all got together several times before the performance.

Their hard work paid off. They were wonderful the night of the dinner. The night was a huge success; donors pledged more than they ever had. Afterwards, Fluffy thanked them for their performance.

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Fluffy: That was totally pawsome! Thank you so much for helping us out tonight.

Bear: It was our pleasure.

Gorilla: Actually, it worked out so well that we’re talking about working together in the future.

Fluffy paid them, and the three of them walked out together.

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RHCCC is supposed to run the second Saturday of the month, but our typist got confused. We bought her a calendar.

All pictures courtesy of Google Images.

4

Medical School Blues – Part 2

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Where we are: Joey and Suzy are at the top of their medical school class. Joey has been helping his friend, Socks, do better so he doesn’t have to graduate last in the class. Socks did well on his most recent exam. Suzy said it was because Joey cheated for him.

Poor Socks was devastated. He thought that he had been getting smarter. Now someone said the he was cheating.

Socks: Suzy, does that mean that my score doesn’t count?

Suzy: Did you know Joey had stolen the information he taught you?

Socks: Of course not. I would never cheat.Image result for siamese cat and dog

Suzy: I didn’t think so. I’ll make sure you don’t get in trouble.

Joey: What about me? You just accused me of cheating. I didn’t cheat!

Suzy: Then why did you say you knew the questions ahead of time?

Joey: I never said that!

Suzy: Then why did I hear it?

Joey: You didn’t hear it! I never said it. Take it back before I get into trouble.

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Soon the accusation spread beyond their group of friends. It seemed like everyone knew. It was only a matter of time before someone told the professor.

Professor Gibbs: Mr. Boxer, may I see you after class?

Joey: Of course.

Joey was nervous. It had to be about the exam. What if the professor had heard about Suzy’s accusation?

Gibbs: You did extremely well on my last exam.

Joey: Yes, sir. I studied very hard

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Gibbs: So did your friend, Socks. He’s never gotten higher than a score of 74 on a test.

Joey: We’ve been studying together.

Gibbs: What have you two been studying from?

Joey: The textbook and our notes, of course. Mainly my notes.

Gibbs: I’ve heard from a credible source that you were studying from the actual test that I had prepared.

Joey: Suzy’s lying! I never saw that test before we took it. She’s just trying to get me in trouble.Image result for dog on trial meme

Gibbs: I have no idea what you’re talking about. I haven’t seen Suzy outside of class in weeks. I wanted to talk to you about the rumor. Is it true?

Joey: No, it is not.

Gibbs: Then you better find a way to prove that. You’re scheduled to appear before the academic board a week from Tuesday. If they vote that you’ve cheated, you’re going to be expelled.

One more thing, do you know of Mr. Retriever cheating?

Joey: He would never cheat. He’s been studying around the clock since I began tutoring him. He’s actually pretty smart when he focuses.

Gibbs: All right. That’s what we thought. He has been doing better in class.

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Joey: Why do you think I would cheat? I’m at the top of the class.

Gibbs: Exactly. The top students are the only ones who cheat at this point. They’ll do anything they can to be number 1 at the end.

Joey: Thanks for telling me. I guess I better go figure out how to straighten this out.

Joey met with a few of his closest friends. He wasn’t sure who to trust; someone had told administration. Apparently, it wasn’t Suzy.

Joey: I think I’m done guys. How do I prove that I didn’t say something?

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Alex Owl: Where did you supposedly say this?

Joey: I don’t know. I haven’t talked to Suzy since she said it.

Jeremy Airedale: When were the two of you at the same place that she might have heard something that sounds like that?

Joey (frustrated): I don’t know. Socks, do you remember anything?

Socks: Sorry, buddy. I went out to play ball with some of my old friends, and slept until the next class.

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Alex: It looks like you’re in a bit of a mess. There’s only one thing to do. You have to prove that she’s lying.

Socks: That doesn’t seem very nice. She was just talking to some friends. I don’t think she meant it to turn out this way.

Jeremy: That may be true. But I think Alex is right. If we can’t prove that he’s right, then we have to prove that she’s wrong.

Joey: How do we do that?

The next day, Suzy was given a letter. It said that she had to be in court 2 days later. Joey Boxer was suing her for slander and defamation of character.

Next week: Will the trial vindicate Joey?

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