Cat Forum: What is a Moggy?

April 8, 2017 | cat9984

Today we are taking a break from our interviews with the totally pawsome cats we have met. But don’t worry. They’ll be back next month when we talk to the folks at Three Chatty Cats.

Mom finally brought home a decent book. It’s called Catopedia: A Fascinating Collection of Feline Curiosities. It’s all about cats, so of course it’s fascinating. Unlike those human books she usually gets.

Snoops: So Kommando, what did you think of the Catopedia?

Kommando: It was really good, but it needed better editing. A lot of the words were misspelled. Too many “u’s” and “s” where there should have been some other letter.

Snoops: That’s because the lady who wrote it, Justine Hankins, is British.

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Kommando: That’s like English, right? Like the language? If the lady is from the same place as the language, why can’t she spell right?

Snoops: Moving along, what else do you remember?

Kommando: Well, I didn’t think it was very nice of her to insult us.

Snoops: She doesn’t even know us.

Kommando: It doesn’t matter. She called us moggies.

Snoops: That’s not an insult. It just means we don’t have pedigrees.

Kommando: Nope. You’re wrong. Look at what it says on page 66: “Initially a variant on the woman’s name Maggie, a name which was given to cows from the 18^th century and was also used to describe a scruffy woman.” I am not a cow. Nor am I scruffy.

Snoops: It’s nothing personal. I’m sure if she met you, she’d know you were a cat.

Kommando: That’s not the point. Did you notice that it rhymes with doggy? She better not come over here and call me that. I’ll shed on her.

Snoops: I’ll be sure to let her know. I thought it was really interesting that in the 10^th century King Hywel Dda of Wales said that if you killed someone’s cat you had to pay them enough grain to physically cover the whole cat.

Kommando: Wow. I wonder what I’d be worth?

Snoops: Less than me. I’m bigger.

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Kommando: It probably would have been better to have been a mouser for the Royal Mail. The book says that they were paid a shilling a week between 1868 and 1984. Just think, if all those cats put their money together they could have bought land. By the end, they would have had enough to get one of those seats in government.

Snoops: I don’t think they sell government seats.

Kommando: Are you sure?

Snoops: I was a little disappointed to see that the 10 Cat Museums they listed didn’t have a single one that is run by a cat.

Kommando: Probably because the book is for people. People aren’t interested in the good stuff.

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Snoops: People are a little weird sometimes.

Kommando: Did you see that Kitty Litter was invented by a guy here in Michigan?

Snoops: Good thing since Mom and Dad won’t let us go outside.

Kommando: Yeah. But now they make it out of clay, wood pellets, recycled paper, silica gel (whatever that is, it sounds disgusting, like going on Jello), walnut shells and whole kernel corn.

Snoops: Walnut shells and whole corn? What about our delicate little paws?

Kommando: I wonder if the humans have tried going on it?

Snoops: Probably not. They seem to like that soft stuff on a roll.

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Kommando: Did you notice that Queen Victoria likes cats? That’s good for us.

Snoops: It would be if she wasn’t dead. The current one is a dog person.

Kommando: That’s unfortunate.

Snoops: It’s OK. A lot of the government buildings have official mousers. Those cats live in nice houses.

Kommando: I guess those British people are OK.

Rating: Image result for cat paw drawing Image result for one half

(Kommando refused to give two paws up to a book that called her a cow.)

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Proceeds from the sale of the Catopedia go to the Battersea Dogs and Cats Home in London, est.1860. If you are interested, you can learn more about them here.

(pictures courtesy of Google Images – except the one of us)

Vox Animalibus*

April 1, 2017 | cat9984

*Voice of the Animals

Angus McFluffin

We received a lot of feedback from our recent article, Cat Forum: Interview with Abby. We thought that we would share some of it with you.

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Princess Pawsome: I enjoyed your recent interview with Abby. I thought it was very interesting to hear from such a nice dog. Perhaps in the future, you could do interviews with other animals. Maybe you could talk to a bird or a fish.

(Thank you for your idea. We will put that in our file for further research.)

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Muffy Manx: I think that Abby sounds like a very sweet doggy. However, I read Cat Forum to learn about cats and cat stuff. I don’t think dogs fit in either of those categories. If you do something similar in the future, maybe you could call it “Animal Forum” or something so I will know not to read it.

(Thank you for your feedback. We apologize if we created any confusion.)

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Maxx Katt: Thank you for your recent Cat Forum about Abby. I read it to my girls and they loved it. However, now they want to get a dog. I have no idea where to look. Would you please advise?

(We have never actually had a dog in-house. However, we recommend that you try the local shelter.)

Probably the most unusual feedback we got came from a dog:

Louie Dog: I don’t get how a nice dog like Abby would get caught up with a group like you. I know Abby, and I can’t believe she’d talk to a bunch of cats. Cats! I hate cats.

Needless to say, Snoops and Kommando Kitty were pretty upset by Louie. But since we are an equal opportunity organization, we decided to give Louie the chance to explain himself.

Snoops and Kommando refused to talk to him. So we put our new investigative reporter, Angus MacFluffin. on the job. His interview follows.

Is it true that you hate cats?

Well, it’s not that I hate them. They’re just so funny looking and easy to chase.

Have you ever met a cat?

Actually I live with 3 cats. They really don’t care for me due to the fact that I look at them as targets to chase!! Hahahahahahahhaaha

Rumor has it that you have used controlled substances. Is that true?

Well see my extravagant human mom smokes constantly and I love to smell her tubes and bags. I can’t help it – they smell so good!!!! I love to roll around in her empty bags!

Do you think that it’s has any impact on your opinion of things?

No, I don’t. I think helps out a lot people and dogs. It helps my mom’s moods… she yells A LOT.

What breed of dog are you? Do you consider yourself a large dog?

I am a handsome fluffy full of p*** and vinegar 24/7 Shitzu. I have a large macho man personality! I’m very aggressive with my woman Roxie and she’s a German Shepard!

Do you get along with other dogs?

Well like I said I have a woman. It’s a cougar thing – she’s very old. And we have a roommate named Rascal. He’s a pug, and he’s off the charts of being on the weird side. I only like these 2 dogs; others I don’t pay no mind to.

What about other animals?

I wouldn’t know. I’ve only came across cats and dogs. But mom keeps asking me about an iguana…. whatever the h*** that thing is.

Do you always have such a strong opinions about things?

Yes I do. I hate it when my mom doesn’t let me always have my way!!!! I get very, very vocal with her even though I’m going to get yelled at and my cookies taken from me!! Seriously – the cookies??

Do you think your human has any impact on the way you feel about things?

No – I really don’t know – she’s crazy – even though – we clash but I know she means well… FYI SHES SO D*** LOUD! She keeps saying it’s a Leo thing like I’m supposed to know what that means. Hahahaha

Is there anything else you’d like to add?

No there isn’t. But I read Abby’s interview and I loved it. That’s my home girl even though she don’t ever wanna play with me!! Love her human, though. Wendy’s so nice to me!

(ed. note – We will not be interviewing any more dogs for Cat Forum.)

Cat Forum: Interview with Dezi and Raena

March 13, 2017 | cat9984

(ed. note – We would like to apologize for being late this week. Cat had trouble with the picture file. Life would be much simpler if someone else around here had opposable thumbs. Humans can be so difficult to work with.)

Greetings from Snoops and Kommando Kitty. We have a totally pawsome interview this month. Know how everybody’s always talking about service dogs? Well, we have a couple of service cats, and they are amazing. They are sisters Dezi and Raena, and you can find them giving service tips every Monday and other fun stuff the rest of the week on their own blog.

What is a service cat?

Dezi: Dat’s a great question Kommando and Snoops. Fanks fur havin’ us fur an innerview; we’re so excited to be here. Technically da ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) doesn’t recognize kitties as Service Animals. They only recognize Seeing Eye dogs, Alert dogs and search and rescue dogs. Da definition of a Service Animal is: A dog (animal) that is individually trained to do work or perform tasks for a person with disabilities.

A Service animal should not be confused with or compared to a Therapy animal or Emotional Support animal. The latter two require no specific training and can be pretty much any species of animal dat a person considers comforting. Ifin you follow our blog, you know dat we are individually trained to purrform work to help mommy live independently. Da work/tasks we purrform should not be confused with “tricks”. While we do purrform on command for mommy, we don’t give shows or purrform in any manner dat would imply what we are doin’ is a learned trick. Most of our tasks require us to think and decide to act without bein’ asked or ordered too.

Is it a full-time job?

Dezi: It’s absolutely a full time job. We have to be ready any time day or night. Ifin mommy needs us, we’re there. We think we live like normal cats. We nap, play, watch da occasional bird or squirrel teevee and scratch just like any other cat would. Da only difference is, ifin mommy were to fall or we sense dat she is goin’ to pass out, we stop whatever we’re doin’ and run to her aid. We all sleep when mommy sleeps. Dat’s kinda how we make up fur any nap time we miss.

Raena: Who could sleep thru mommy fallin’ sissy? Ya’ know she’s really tall and it’s a long way to da floor. And mommy ain’t no ballerina.

Dezi: Raena!!!

Raena: What? Mommy says it herself. Movin’ on…

Do you both work at the same time?

Dezi: There are lots of times when we both work at da same time. Meownin’ massages, night time massages, shower duty and those times when mommy gets dizzy or trips and falls. Sis Lexi and me would offen work together to bring mommy bigger items dat were too heavy fur one kitty. Sis Raena and me aren’t dat coordinated yet. But she’s still young, so there’s purrlenty of time fur dat down da road.

What do you do in your spare time?

Raena: I’s wanna answer furst sissy. Can I’s take this one?

Dezi: Me guesses Raena. But ‘member, this is an innerview, and not your purrsonal story time.

Raena: I’s know. Kittens!!! You’d think I’s was born yesfurday. Hmmpht Mines birthday is comin’ up soon tho’. Anyways, we do cat things in our spare time. Ya’ know, like any good feline, we luv nappin’ and playin’. I’s like to play more than sis Dezi, but mommy says it’s just cuz I’s still a kitten. I’s think sis Dezi is sometimes just a furry fuddy duddy.

Dezi: RaenaBelle Mayce!!! You take dat back!!! Me likes to play just as much as da next kitty.

Raena: Sorry sissy. You sure can be sensitive. (Dezi darts a glare towards Raena) I said I’s was sorry sissy.

Dezi: Just wait Raena. You won’t know when or how…just wait.

Mommy A: Girls! That’s enough, Get along and be nice to your gracious interviewers.

You’re both so beautiful. Does it take a lot of daily grooming?

Raena: Y, Fanky fank ya’. You’re so sweet. Bein’ Ragdolls, we don’t have an undercoat. Peeps say our fur is similar to rabbit fur cuz it’s so soft and doesn’t mat. But I’s do luvs a good brushin’. Mommy knows just where to brush to get mines purr motor runnin’ full blast. I’s have some purretty long bloomers dat occasionally get a little dirty. I’s not a big fan of havin’ mommy wash me up, but at least I’s don’t have to do it. (shivers) Yucky

Dezi: Me isn’t crazy ‘bout brushin’, but every once in while me will tolerate it cuz mommy seems to really enjoy it. Me hasn’t had those dirty bloomers in quite some time, so fankfully mommy doesn’t have to clean me up anymore. Generally speakin’ Ragdolls are purretty low maintenance, considerin’ all our furs.

What’s your favorite thing to do with your human?

Dezi: Me luvs spendin’ time with mommy doin’ anythin’. We sometimes have mommy and Dezi days out, where she takes me with her on her errands. Me’s workin’ of course, but we also have lots of fun. And me always gets extra special treats.

Raena: I’s luvs bein’ with mommy. Whatever she wants to do, I’s in. I’s luvs Raena and mommy days out too. She puts me in da stroller and away we go. We go on lots of adventures and see lots of peeps and places. And I’s always get special treats. I’s luvs treats. Did you ask ‘bout dat? No? Well I’s luvs me some treats fur sure.

Is it safe enough there to go outside without your human?

Dezi: We live in a small town and kinda out in da country. We have a big wooded area right behind our ‘pawrtment dat be home to Wild Bobcats, Coons (raccoons), Armadillos, Opawsoms (opossums), Foxes, accordin’ to da manager whose doggy was attacked while she watched, Wolves/Coyotes, Rattlesnakes and many other wild creatures. In da skies and trees are lots of Birds of Prey, and then theirs da neighborhood dogs. Peeps ‘round here let their anipals run loose. It’s against da law, but they do it anyways. Most of these anipals wander ‘round our complex and are fed by da elderly residents. So goin’ outside without mommy could be deadly. When da weather’s good, mommy takes us out in our stroller so we can get some furesh air and sunshine. We don’t get too many sun puddles in da house cuz of our small windows and da way they face. So we really enjoy our strolls.

Do you have access to cat TV so you can see what is going on outside?

Dezi: A few years ago we were given an amazing cat tree. Mommy put it beside da front door in front of da livin’ room window, so we could look out when we wanted. We also have a kitten purrch dat mommy puts right in front of da door. We can look out ifin we want, but we live in a complex fur elderly and disabled peeps, so there’s not much action goin’ on outside. We used to have hummingbird feeders. We luvved watchin’ da hummers in da spring and summer. But da wasps kinda overtook them and mommy be deathly ‘lergic, so da feeders had to go bye bye.

Where is your favorite place to sleep?

Raena: It’s mines turn sissy. We both luvs to sleep on da cat tree durin’ da day. But at nighttime, when mommy goes to sleep, we wouldn’t wanna be anywhere else than by her side. We have a hospital bed, so we all squish together and cuddle fur as long as mommy can sleep.

We hear your human has an inside garden. Do you get to help?

Raena: I’s luvs mommy’s new garden. She got it fur Christmas from one of our pawsum awnties, and it was just what da doctor ordered. Mommy luvs salads but can’t afford to buy lettuce at da store. So now, she can just grow her own. I’s keep a real close eye on how everythin’ be doin’. Ya’ might have heard some stories ‘bout me removin’ a few caps or pods, but dat just isn’t true.

Dezi: RaenaBelle!!! Tell da truth. We are kitties of high standards and beyond reproach. We don’t lie.

Raena: Oh sissy, I’s was just kiddin’. I’s did learn mines lesson, and I’s don’t bother da garden anymore. I’s just keep a close eye on it all. Ya’ know, mommy needs me to tell her when to remove those cool caps or add water and stuffs. Besides, you actually ate some of da dill.

Dezi: Me was prunin’ it Raena. Dat’s all. Besides, mommy says, prunin’ makes it grow bigger and better. So me was actually helpin’. (Dezi rolls her eyes and in an exasperated voice) Sisfurs!!! (shakes her head)

Do you have anything else you’d like to say?

Dezi and Raena: Fank you so much Snoops and Kommando Kitty fur havin’ us fur an innerview. Besides our blog, we’re on all da social media channels, Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. And we’ve even got a YouTube channel, ifin any of your readers would like to keep up with us. We always luv makin’ new furiends. And, ifin anypawdy would like to know the specifics ‘bout the differences in Service Animals, Therapy Animals and Emotional Support Animals they can see da Service Animal tab on da menu at our blog. Ya’ll wanna go play now?

The girls are just as much fun at their own site. We’re sure you’d like playing with them.

Advice for April

March 4, 2017 | cat9984

If you haven’t heard, there’s a live stream from New York that the humans are all watching. It’s April the giraffe who’s due to give birth any day. She lives at Animal Adventures Park in Harpursville, New York. We have no idea why humans would spend their time watching a giraffe walk round a pen, but humans are strange. We briefly spoke with April to get her thoughts.

Cheeseland: How long have the humans been watching?

April: I really don’t know. It feels like forever. They’re always around, and they never stop talking.

Cheeseland: Why do you think you’re so popular?

April: One of the vets said that the humans want to see me give birth.

Cheeseland: Seriously?

April: Can you believe it? It’s such a personal moment, and all those people want to watch.

Cheeseland: Some people put really personal stuff of their own out there for everyone to see.

April: Ewww. Humans are so weird.

We decided to talk to some of the cats whose videos have gone viral. We asked them to share what happened after their moment of fame. Names and faces have been altered to protect their privacy.

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Max

Famous for: Pushing a dog into a pool

Aftermath: The humans thought I was hilarious and posted it. The dog was not amused. He kept trying to get even and push me into the pool. He ended up skidding into the pool several times. That was hilarious. I wish the humans had been around. Now he just sits in a chair by the pool.

Advice: People will leave you alone after a while. Just don’t let them put a panda-cam on the baby.

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Sheba

Famous for: Jumping out from behind a sofa and scaring a child

Aftermath: The big humans laughed but the little human wouldn’t stop crying. Human Mom had to pick her up and told her I was a bad kitty. The little beast called me “bad kitty” for days. She’s lucky I’m not really a bad kitty.

Advice: Don’t trust what the humans say while the camera is on. And never agree to a panda-cam for the baby. The poor thing will have no privacy.

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Alex

Famous for: Getting stuck in the cat door

Aftermath: The humans said I was fat. They made me eat disgusting food that gave me gas and wouldn’t let me have treats. I was hungry all the time and was really grumpy. They finally gave up and let me have my food back. They also discovered they had installed the cat door wrong.

Advice: Break the camera. They’re going the save the most embarrassing parts because they think you’re “cute”. And no panda-cam!

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Amelia

Famous for: fishing an ice cube out of a glass of water

Aftermath: They acted so impressed while the camera was on. I don’t know why. Ice cubes are not good prizes. I got my paw wet for something that I couldn’t eat, and they wouldn’t let me play with it. Not only that, they won’t let me around their water anymore.

Advice: Don’t trust humans. Particularly if they want to put your baby on a panda-cam.

We hope the advice helps April. We couldn’t understand why pandas with cameras were such a problem. We never see pandas around here, with or without cameras.

So we looked up Panda Cam on Google, and found this (and several others):

https://nationalzoo.si.edu/webcams/panda-cam

with a clip from YouTube:

They’re right April. Beware the panda-cam!

Cat Forum: Interview with Abby

February 11, 2017 | cat9984

Snoops and Kommando Kitty here. We have a special treat for you today. We are interviewing Abby. She is a dog who owns a human Cat knows. We weren’t sure what to expect.

(Remember: If it looks like this, we are talking to each other)

Kommando: I have never met a dog.

Snoops: My only experience was in the shelter I lived in for a little while before I found my forever home here. I really didn’t like the dogs there. They smelled weird and barked all the time. Apparently they smell better when they live with a human. I don’t know about the barking.

We’ve never had a dog on here before. How do you feel about cats?

I’m excited to be the first dog on here, thank you for inviting me. As for cats, I’m not sure what a cat is. I’ve never met one. If they are smaller than me, I’m OK with them.

(Wow. Her mom sure has let her lead a sheltered life. She has no idea how pawsome we are.)

How many humans do you live with? Which one do you own?

I live with my adopted Mom and her family. There are two big humans who I don’t get along with. When I was a baby I did my business on their bed. I was sorry but I didn’t know any better. (sometimes I poop in their shoes now cause I know they don’t like me….I’m not sorry)…..There are a bunch of little humans that I love though so it’s OK. They love me and leave snacks for me all over the house. I love to run around sniffing until I find them. I’ve heard they have a game called hide and seek, maybe that’s what it is.

Anyway, my Mom and I kinda own each other. I came to live with her after she lost her own Mom, (she went to live somewhere called Heaven, I think it’s over the Rainbow Bridge). We helped each other not be lonely, now I really hate being alone, it makes me sad and I cry.

There is another human, his name is Cody, he loves me too and helped keep me company. He moved to another house though. When he visits I get so excited. I love him as much as I love my Mom. He lets me kiss his face until he can’t breathe and he laughs and laughs. I miss him.

(Wow. She sounds just like us. We hate it when all the humans are gone. This Cody person sounds like he could be a cat person. The treats all over the house thing sounds really good. We need to tell Mom.)

What’s your favorite thing to do with your human?

Mom works at night so we sleep a lot. I love to snuggle under the covers and keep her warm. I have sudden bursts of energy and run laps down the long hallway. It makes everyone smile so I like that too.

(Wow. Sleeping all the time. Maybe we could make her an honorary cat.)

We heard that you moved here from the South. Do you miss it?

I was so little when I came to Michigan that I don’t remember what it was like in the south. I hear it is warm though so maybe that’s why I don’t like the cold wet stuff that always falls around here. Mom says it’s because I’m spoiled. If I am it’s her fault. I just don’t like the feeling when my feet get wet.

(Her mom’s crazy. No one likes that stuff. Especially the slippery kind.)

Do you get to go outside a lot? Can you come back in when you want?

I mostly go outside to do my business, do cats do that too? I have to wait for someone to open the doors for me to come back in. I’m pretty smart but can’t open the doors myself.

When we go out just to play, Mom keeps me on a long leash. Sometimes I escape when the door is open and I get so excited that I run away. I don’t mean to. It just smells so different out there. One time I ran down the road across from our house. It made Mom mad so she went inside the house…That scared me so I started back home. I was so glad to see her when she came back outside that I went right to her when she called me. I wish I could remember to do that every time…she gave me special treats.

(Someone needs to tell her about litter boxes. Do they make them for dogs?)

We have something called cat TV. It’s what we see out the window. It can be birds or squirrels or rabbits or whatever. Is there something similar for dogs?

Wow, I sit on the back of the couch watching the same thing. That’s cat TV? Maybe I’m a cat. I see strange humans out there and I growl and puff the hair on my back up so they will be afraid of me. There are birds and rabbits out there. I growl at them too, but I don’t think they can hear me because they don’t run away. I must not be very scary.

(Guess dogs aren’t very scary. Or the animals know dogs won’t eat them. Maybe cats could get closer if we used dog cologne.)

We’ve heard that dogs are rather flexible about what they eat. Do you have a favorite food?

Mom feeds me kibble, but shares her food with me too. I will eat just about anything but my favorite is this sticky stuff called peanut butter. It sticks to the roof of my mouth but it tastes so good I don’t care. The humans will use it to trick you into taking medicine, so you have to be careful. Oh and I love cheese. I hear the noise the wrapper makes and come running to get a bite.

Dogs are social animals, right? Do you get to see a lot of other dogs or other types of animals?

I was never around other animals when I was small. Mom says that’s why I am afraid of other dogs; I never learned to play with them. When dogs come to visit it makes me very nervous. I try to be nice, but get overwhelmed when they try to play. Sometimes I bite them and we fight but if they would leave me and my humans alone I would be OK. Mom calls these visitors her 4 legged grandkids. Does that make them my nieces and nephews?

When we camp out, at my human Grandparents house, I watch out the window for strange four legged animals. Recently I was watching these really big dogs at the house next door. I wasn’t growling at them so Mom took me to meet them. She said they are called horses. I got brave and touched noses with them. They smell funny.

(Those dogs are all huge. I’m glad Cat’s friend didn’t have one of those for us to interview.)

What’s the best part about where you live? Is there anything you don’t like?

There is a big puddle of water behind our house that the little humans play in. I try to join them but they splash me, and I get scared. It smells funny and there are things living in there that must really like being wet because they never come out. I try to catch them but they are too fast.

I really don’t like to be alone. When Mom goes to work, I sit on the stairs and cry. I’m not allowed upstairs, where the other humans, live unless Mom is with me. I don’t know the rules and I get in trouble. I would stop if they would teach me, but like I said before, they don’t like me much.

(Those upstairs people sound really mean. We should teach Abby how to sleep while her Mom is gone. It works really well for us.)

Is there anything else you’d like to say?

I hope I was able to answer your questions about dogs. I am not a normal dog though. I was brought to my human before I learned how to act like a dog. Some humans think I’m special in the bad way. My Mom just loves me anyway and that’s what matters.

I want to thank you again for asking me to be your guest. I have to say, I think I may like cats if I ever get the chance to spend some time with them. Maybe my humans will get one for to learn from.

(This dog is OK. If they’re all like this, maybe we should stop making fun of them.)

Cat Forum: Interview with Purrseidon

January 14, 2017 | cat9984

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This month we welcome Purrseidon to Cat Forum. She is a very talented kitty and writes her own blog. It’s called Purrseidon, so it’s really easy to remember. She highly recommends her mom’s blog too.

(Remember: Our comments are in italics. Snoops and Kommando)

How did you find out that you like water so much?

I’ve loved playing in puddles and getting baths as long as I can remember, but I guess my staff first noticed when they caught me playing in Saphera’s water bowl.

(For such a sweet cat, that is sooo weird.)

Tell us what it’s like to live with a dog. Do you and Mr. M ever gang up on her?

Actually, Saphera is sort of my surrogate mom. I was living feral, when my sisfur, Lucy Fur, died and then the humans who were to become my staff saw that a neighbor dog had me by the scruff of the neck and was shaking me. They managed to save me and when they brought me in, Saphera sort of adopted me – she is very motherly. Truth be told, it would be more likely for us to gang up on M, but we don’t do that and if we ever did, I’m not so sure we’d win – M has some amazingly effective moves.

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If you can’t get to the water, what’s your favorite thing to do?

I like to go hiking and climb my oak tree (but only when those horrid squirrels aren’t around). I also like to play tag with Saphera’s best friend, Livie Lou, who is a chihuahua and just a bit smaller than me, but she is very, very speedy. That all said, water is usually pretty easy to get to, but getting the staff to take me to the beach is a lot harder – they have work and school schedules to juggle and then the weather (including rip currents) is a big factor.

(Kommando: Maybe she was a dog in her first life, then discovered cats are cooler so she changed for the other eight. Snoops: Then why are there still so many dogs around?)

Do you, Mr M and Saphera each have a favorite human?

Mr. M’s favorite person is mom and my purrsonal human is Master Munchkin. Like I told you, Saphera is very motherly, so she loves babies of all sorts… She does not like most adults (though she makes exception for family) and – I hate to admit this failing, but she doesn’t like adult males with dark skin, so Mr. M avoids her, even though he shares her love of babies – sticky fingers and all. (Eww)

Saphera was found running next to the interstate when she was about 6 months old. Her tail had been broken and she was in rough shape. Obviously, I was not around then (I just turned 2 and she is 8), The staff think she was abused and that she has some form of puppy PTSD.

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What’s it like to live with a writer? Is she away from home a lot?

Mom and Mr. M collaborate on writing family-friendly fantasy and they are basically home-bodies. They finished The Chatterre Trilogy last year and are currently working on a new episode for Xander de Hunter’s Sea Purrtector series … I help with this, too.

During his youth, Xander de Hunter gained fame in Catamundo’s kickboxing tournaments. When, he and his family moved aboard sailing vessel, Whispurring Winds, Xander became Catamondo’s first Sea Purrtector. Latitudes & Cattitudes is a short (free) prequel to the series. It takes place when Xander is still purrticipating in the kickboxing tournaments. M and mom worked on that one and The Red Claw without me, but I started learning to be a muse during Purr-a-noia and by the time we wrote Me-YEOW!, M started muttering about me and my character, Mischief, trying to replace Xander. That is not exactly true, but Mischief does have my water skills, so I think she would make a wonderful Sea Purrtector.

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Do you get to eat a lot of fresh fish since you live so close to the ocean?

Not as much as I’d like to eat – I love, love, love sea food. Saphera does, too, but M purrfers chicken.

(Dad would love her. Someone to appreciate the fish he catches. Wish he’d fish for deli ham some time.)

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Tell us one thing about each of your family members that you really like.

Mr. M tends to be quiet and keep to himself, but he is very smart and I learn a lot from him. He is also a big help with the blog and I can depend on him to share information about science and/or space at least one day per week.

Saphera is an excellent watchdog, except that she mainly watches so she knows when to hide, thus M is a better purrtector, but Saphera is a great surrogate mom.

Pop is super smart and knows a lot about music, gardening and loads of interesting stuff.

Mom is really good about keeping on her writing schedule and still serving tasty meals on time.

Ms. Munchkin is also very smart and she’s learning to be a good cook.

Master Munchkin is my favorite person and we spend as much time together as possible. He reads me a bedtime story every day.

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What’s it like writing a blog every few days?

It’s pretty easy compared to writing a novel, but then, I get a lot of help from M and mom.

Is there anything else you’d like to add?

I would like to thank you for choosing me and taking the time to ask these questions…. Purrhaps, if you are ever near Florida’s Space Coast, you’d like to come to a pool party.

(We need to look up Florida. I don’t think we can walk there. Maybe a business trip so Cheeseland pays for it.)

Mama Cat and the Badger

December 24, 2016 | cat9984

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It was Christmas Eve, and Mama Cat was totally exhausted. Her reputation as an herbalist and healer was spreading and she building a good practice. But all that work had put her behind in her Christmas preparations. She had just finished the baking and wrapping. But the house was a total mess.

She was startled by a loud knocking at the door. She hoped it wasn’t that lousy Tom. She should have known he had two other kitten mamas. Mama Cat opened the door.

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It was a very large badger. Mama Cat almost fainted with fear. He asked if he could come in. She nodded and pointed to a seat.

“Are you here to eat me?” She was terrified.

The badger looked hurt. “Of course not. I am asking for your help.”

Mama Cat looked confused. “What could I possibly do for you?”

The badger looked at her hopefully. “My name is Reginald Badger, and I live in the forest. My son was playing with some friends and it got a little rough. He was clawed rather badly. My wife says that you can heal animals and was hoping that you would help our son.”

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Mama Cat looked around the house. “But it’s Christmas Eve, and I have five kittens in the other room who are waiting for Santa Claws.” Reginald looked crestfallen and nodded. “I told Margery that you probably couldn’t make it. I apologize for intruding.” He got up to leave.

Mama Cat looked at his sad face and then around the room. How long could it possibly take? And how could she let that little badger die? “I think there is time to help your son before the kittens wake up. Let me get my things.”

As she gathered her things, she hoped that she wasn’t volunteering to be Christmas dinner for a family of badgers. Reginald took her bag and offered a ride on his back. Mama Cat was feeling worse and worse about her decision.

As Reginald ran through the trees for what felt like an extremely long time, Mama Cat began to worry about getting home in time to finish getting things ready for the kittens. “I wonder if Santa Claws will leave presents at a house that doesn’t offer him a bowl of cream?”

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Finally Reginald stopped. Mama Cat climbed down as he opened the door. She swallowed nervously and followed him in.

Suddenly Mama Cat was being hugged. “Oh thank you Ms. Cat for coming all the way out here on Christmas Eve! I’m Margery Badger, and we are so grateful that you are here. I know that you can help Eugene. Let me show you the way.” Mama Cat was a little overwhelmed. “Please call me Belle. I hope I can help.” She followed Margery into another room.

There was a much smaller badger laying on the bed. He was asleep but was moaning in pain. Belle looked at the wound. “It is rather nasty isn’t it? Let me see what I can do. Would you please bring some warm water so I can clean it out?”

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Margery quickly returned with the water. “Now would you please boil some water and let these herbs soak in the water for 10 minutes?” Belle carefully cleaned the wound and got a better look at it. It was deep, but didn’t seem to have caused much damage.

She took some spider webbing and put it in the wound to stop the bleeding. When Margery returned, Belle poured the hot liquid into a cloth and applied it to the wound. “You will need to re-apply the poultice every six hours for two days. Belle handed Margery a second herb. “Make a spoonful of this into tea several times a day. It smells and tastes horrible, but it will help with the healing.”

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Both of the badgers hugged Belle and asked how they could repay her. Overcome with fatigue again, she said that a ride home would be nice.

When she opened the door to her house, Belle was amazed. It was spotless. There were gifts from Santa Claws for the kittens and a note on the table.

“Dear Belle – Since you were away helping the badgers, I decided that the best gift for you would be to have an elf clean your house. Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! All the best – Santa Claws.”

Belle thought she must be dreaming and curled up with the kittens.

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Cat Forum: Interview with Andy and Dougy

December 10, 2016 | cat9984

This month we are interviewing Andy and Dougy from weggieboy’s blog. We don’t know what a weggieboy is, but we’re pretty sure it doesn’t have anything to do with cats. Which is a little weird since everything in the blog is about cats. Humans are really strange sometimes.

Tell us a little bit about your brother.

Andy: Dougy is my best buddy. In fact, the lady who had our mother was so impressed with how we played together as kittens that she offered him to our human, too! I was really happy about that because it meant our new home was going to be together! Our other brother and sister went to someone in South Dakota. They didn’t like each other. Dougy and I are lucky that way.

Dougy: Andy is too serious for his own good. I think his high blood pressure stems from that. He needs to lighten up and play more! Of course, we do that that string game we play. Andy usually starts the game, but we really, really, really like it! We both are smoke Persians, but he takes after our Birman father more, with a less broad (or big!) head than mine. We both are pretty, though, if you ask me!

What is your favorite thing about your human?

Andy: He tells me I’m a good boy even when I’m not, and he gives me kitty treats. He could be a bit better about when he serves us kitty food. Dougy complains to him about that but I just hang around because I’m more patient.

Dougy: He lets me do anything I want. I know he doesn’t like me scratching on furniture, so I do it right in front of him sometimes! Hee! Hee! He lets me get away with it, and I’ve been doing it ever since I was a kitten. He even made a video of me as a kitten doing that, and I am very proud of that! He also gave me his ottoman because, well, I took it from him. Pretty neat, eh?!

(Dad would have killed us!)

We like cat TV (looking out the window for you non-felines). Do you watch? What’s your favorite program?

Andy: You know I do! I especially like the fir tree revue in the backyard. I watch it all the time because there are lots of squirrels and birds there just about any time of day! Sometimes Dougy and I fight over the best spots, but, really, there are many good watching spots on the computer desk.

Dougy: Oh, I love, love, love cat TV!!! I can’t get enough of it. Andy gets upset with me when I watch it out the back window from the computer desk, but that’s the best spot to check out the squirrels and birds in this place. Sometimes we even see neighborhood cats. You know we are indoor cats, don’t you? Our human worries that I would follow my nose to Fargo if he let me outside because I like to explore! I guess I would. But he worries naughty people would hurt Andy and me because we are black cats or that we might get run over on the busy streets nearby. We have each other to play with, so we basically are happy (and warm and safe!) indoors.

(Wonder if they ever have trouble with reception this time of year?)

What do you like to do when your human isn’t home?

Andy: That would be telling, eh?! Actually, I sleep most of the time, maybe eat some crunchies, then drink some water. (I do a lot more than that, but I have my reputation for sobriety to protect!)

Dougy: I’m a good boy so I sleep mostly. I guess I do some of the stuff Andy does, too, and we play our game or just run like wild horses all over the house! We like doing that together.

(See, everyone tells their human all they do is sleep. Don’t want the humans to be jealous of our private lives. Or ask too many questions.)

Do you ever get annoyed when your human wants to take your picture?

Andy: Not really, though I like to “hide” in dark places because he has a hard time getting good photos of me then! Hee! Hee!

Dougy: Oh yes! I hate that bright light his camera makes, so I turn my head or blink my eyes. That new one he uses doesn’t make a bright light as often, so he likes it to take my picture. He says that way people on his blog get to see my beautiful eyes! (Couldn’t agree with him more!)

Does your human ever let you use any of his toys?

Andy: When he’s not watching, I sit in his chair or walk on his computer keyboard. I get away with roosting on top of his PC. I like that a lot! It’s warm and high!

Dougy: He IS my toy! Hee! Hee! I can get him up whenever I want in the morning and get him to do anything I want by talking in my most annoying “meow”! And my most annoying “meow” is pretty darn wretched, if I do meow myself!

(Look Kommando – Dougy knows your trick!)

Is there anything you’d like to add?

Andy: Yes. My full name is Andrew James Thomas. I’m named after the patron saint of Scotland, St. Andrew. I think my human chose that name because I’m usually very serious. Truth is, though, I do like to play, but it just takes me a bit longer to get in the mood than my goofy brother Dougy! He’s up for play any and every time. I choose my time to have fun.

Dougy: Yeah! Don’t put your feet or fat butt on my ottoman! I do not allow it! Ask Andy about that. Or my human! Oh, yes, my full name is Douglas James Thomas. It’s a family joke. My middle name is different than his, so I am not a junior! It is a good Scottish name, and my human comes from a long line of crazy Scots! He wanted to honor that part of his heritage by giving us both Scottish names.

(Wow! I don’t think we want to go there in person. Sounds a little testy. 🙂 )

Don’t forget to visit Andy and Dougy at their blog. They don’t get to talk as much, but they are extremely photogenic.

Cat Forum Interview with Chloe and Charlie

November 19, 2016 | cat9984

Today we are here with Chloe and Charlie from Insights from the Edge (We are not sure what it is the edge of; it must be a human thing.) It is written by their mom Amy. She does not write about cats, but it’s pretty interesting anyway. Apparently she writes for a living, so that’s probably why it’s pretty good. It would be better if she wrote about cats.

Tell us a little bit about each of you.

Chloe: My lady told me other humans found me under a dumpster at three weeks old. I was the only girl. I had many brothers. One was blind. He was a good guy. The rest were annoying. I met my lady when I was eight weeks old. She ignored me, so I liked her. All the other humans who came were so annoying. They picked me up and tried to poke me. My human wouldn’t look at me. So don’t you know, I had some things to say to her. I climbed up her arm and stuck my nose in her nose and that was it. I told her she was to be my lady. That was that. And oh, yah, Charlie. Well, that first night the lady put me in the bathroom. I said, “Absolutely, no way, lady. You will take me out of here right this instance.” She did. Then I met Charlie and he was so dirty I had to start cleaning him right there.

Charlie: All my brothers and sisters died in a flood. Well, there was one other, my last sister. We were together a few weeks, then my lady came and took me. I heard her tell her man that my sister was adopted by a little girl. On her fifth birthday my sister ran into the street and was hit by a car. I’m happy with my lady. But she left me alone a lot in the beginning and when she got back I let her know how unhappy I was. She brought home a few friends for me. They weren’t any fun. One hid under the cold thing where food comes from. She took them away. All I wanted to do was play. Why does everyone get so mad at me?

When my lady brought Chloe I liked her a lot. She cleans me and sleeps with me and when she thinks I’m not looking she puts her legs around me in the winter.

How many humans do you have? Do you live with any other creatures?

Chloe: I have two humans, a lady and man, and one cat, an orange Charlie. After he goes, I’ve called a moratorium on pets. Charlie is just too much. He whines all the time, sleeps on my human when I want to, and doesn’t even have the decency to cover his number one or two. Also, he almost never cleans himself, which means I have to. Exhausting.

Charlie: I have a lady and there’s a guy that lives here, and another cat. She’s not very nice all the time. I like it when it’s just my lady and me. She loves only me. She feeds me treats and everything. I like that because it is just like it was when I was a little boy, before everyone else.

Do you guys always get along or do you get hissy once in a while?

Chloe: (heavy sigh) I guess he’s all right. He’s big and warm. I do enjoy sticking my paws under his belly where it’s especially soft. But that’s all. Sometimes he really makes me mad and we fight and he’s huge and I end up under the piano bench yelling at him to go away.

Charlie: I love her and love to play. Then she gets really mad. I don’t know why. Then mom separates us. I don’t know why. But then she comes upstairs, where I am, and she sits by the door until mom lets me out. So I think she loves me too.

Do you have a favorite place to hang out?

Chloe: The couch

Charlie: Ditto

It says that your Mom lives in LA. Is that a good place to be a cat?

Chloe: It’s not. We don’t get to go outside very much. Too many humans and dogs and loud scary monsters roaring and racing by. We have a nice porch outside, but I don’t spend much time there anymore. I did when I was young, but I’m tired now. I do occasionally. I like to smell the smells.

Charlie: I’d like to go outside and explore, but mom says no. We play inside with the red dot. One day I’ll catch it. I have a little bird that makes a lot of noise, but I’d rather go outside. I get bored.

(We like cat TV. It varies at the different windows.)

Do you get to eat trendy food?

Chloe: Oh, we do. Venison. I’ve made my human spare no expense. And the most expensive treats I could find. You get what you pay for, after all.

What’s your favorite way to spend time with your human?

Chloe: I think I speak for both of us when I say, when she’s at home, on our couch and it’s just us. (except it’s annoying when she’s tapping away on that board of hers. I always let her know it’s time to stop. She should be sleeping, like any sane cat.)

If each of you had one wish, what would it be?

Chloe: To be well. I’ve been sick all my life. Mommy holds me and walks me around and I like that. She makes it better a lot. She tries to know what to do. And I don’t ever want to go to that place where they poke me and stretch me and make me so scared. I don’t ever want to go there again. I want to feel good.

(We agree. Those people try to be nice, but they’re not. Have you tried catnip tea? If it doesn’t make you healthier, at least you’ll be happy.)