Tag Archives: writing

21

Letters to the Editor

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Computer Cat | Cute little animals, Cute cat memes, Cute cats

We love hearing from our readers. Your comments are always welcome. We would like to share a few of the letters we have recently received.

Altered protein makes mice smarter – Science of Singularity

Dear Cheeseland,

What happened to you? You used to be so cosmopolitan. A place where any animal could go to get news and stories. Now it’s cats, cats, cats. Since the beginning of the year, there has only been one story where the main focus was something other than a cat. Mac the Magic Mouse was cool, but everyone else in that story is a cat too. We hope this is not a permanent development.

Leo, President

Lions, Tigers, Bears, Inc.

Pin by The InSource Group on Lines verden | Bear, Pet people, Bear sitting

Dear Leo,

We are sorry to hear of your disappointment. We strive to both entertain and inform. We hope that you noticed that our most topical stories, such as Scrolling Through Animal Twitter, do include other animals. We welcome guest columnists, so any of your members are welcome to contribute a pertinent post. 

Cat and mouse play together in Westport, Ireland but are they still friends? | Daily Mail Online

Dear Tom and Jerry,

Are you really both mice? You know, there is a famous cat-and-mouse team with the same name. Are you really in charge?

Sincerely,

Josie

Wrong Neighboorhood Cats Meme - Imgflip

Dear Josie,

We are afraid that you are somewhat confused. Our names are George and Lenny. We are both extremely literate mice. We are responsible for assigning the topics and ensuring that they are released in a semi-literate format. We are not responsible for the opinions of our writers, nor their actions when they are not writing for us.

Cats Talking With Their Humans 2018 [NEW] - YouTube

Dear Cheeseland,

I want to thank you for all the useful information you provide. I particularly like the way that you talk to us cats rather than the humans. They can be so arrogant! Do you know of a device that will allow me to speak directly to them? They insist that they cannot understand a word I say. I’m sure they’re lying, and it is so frustrating!

Pixie

Cute Cats - We Will Not Be Ignored - Imgflip

Dear Pixie,

We are not in the business of recommending products. Unfortunately, in your case, we would not be able to even if we wanted to. It is a source of unending irritation in the cat world that humans refuse to learn to speak cat. Apparently they don’t really see a need for it since they are bigger and are the ones with the opposable thumbs.

Secret Ballot, Public Voting: The Subtle and Not-So-Subtle Persuasion of the "I Voted" Sticker | viz.

Dear Cheeseland,

We have noticed that you do not talk about politics. Why not?

John Doe

Who Cleaned The Litter Box? - Funny Kitten MEME

Dear John

Politics are for humans. We are concerned with higher matters, like catching mice and clean litterboxes.

Seventeen Cats Who Are Plotting to Rule The World One Day (Memes) - I Can Has Cheezburger? | Cats, Funny animal pictures, Newborn kittens

Dear George and Lenny

Thank you for continuing to cover the world of animals. We are horribly underrepresented in the press. Cats rule the Internet, but it’s not enough. We need to rule the world! Thank you for doing your part.

Sincerely

Ralph, President

Cats of the World

Thank you to all of our writers. All polite communication is welcome.

Happy animals [Amazing Photo of the Day] | dotTech

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

18

Cat Forum: Interview with Purrseidon

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This month we welcome Purrseidon to Cat Forum. She is a very talented kitty and writes her own blog. It’s called Purrseidon, so it’s really easy to remember. She highly recommends her mom’s blog too.

(Remember: Our comments are in italics. Snoops and Kommando)

How did you find out that you like water so much?

I’ve loved playing in puddles and getting baths as long as I can remember, but I guess my staff first noticed when they caught me playing in Saphera’s water bowl.

(For such a sweet cat, that is sooo weird.)

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Tell us what it’s like to live with a dog. Do you and Mr. M ever gang up on her?

Actually, Saphera is sort of my surrogate mom. I was living feral, when my sisfur, Lucy Fur, died and then the humans who were to become my staff saw that a neighbor dog had me by the scruff of the neck and was shaking me. They managed to save me and when they brought me in, Saphera sort of adopted me – she is very motherly. Truth be told, it would be more likely for us to gang up on M, but we don’t do that and if we ever did, I’m not so sure we’d win – M has some amazingly effective moves.

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If you can’t get to the water, what’s your favorite thing to do?

I like to go hiking and climb my oak tree (but only when those horrid squirrels aren’t around). I also like to play tag with Saphera’s best friend, Livie Lou, who is a chihuahua and just a bit smaller than me, but she is very, very speedy. That all said, water is usually pretty easy to get to, but getting the staff to take me to the beach is a lot harder – they have work and school schedules to juggle and then the weather (including rip currents) is a big factor.

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(Kommando: Maybe she was a dog in her first life, then discovered cats are cooler so she changed for the other eight. Snoops: Then why are there still so many dogs around?)

Do you, Mr M and Saphera each have a favorite human?

Mr. M’s favorite person is mom and my purrsonal human is Master Munchkin. Like I told you, Saphera is very motherly, so she loves babies of all sorts… She does not like most adults (though she makes exception for family) and – I hate to admit this failing, but she doesn’t like adult males with dark skin, so Mr. M avoids her, even though he shares her love of babies – sticky fingers and all. (Eww)

Saphera was found running next to the interstate when she was about 6 months old. Her tail had been broken and she was in rough shape. Obviously, I was not around then (I just turned 2 and she is 8), The staff think she was abused and that she has some form of puppy PTSD. 

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What’s it like to live with a writer? Is she away from home a lot?

Mom and Mr. M collaborate on writing family-friendly fantasy and they are basically home-bodies. They finished The Chatterre Trilogy last year and are currently working on a new episode for Xander de Hunter’s Sea Purrtector series … I help with this, too.

During his youth, Xander de Hunter gained fame in Catamundo’s kickboxing tournaments. When, he and his family moved aboard sailing vessel, Whispurring Winds, Xander became Catamondo’s first Sea Purrtector. Latitudes & Cattitudes is a short (free) prequel to the series. It takes place when Xander is still purrticipating in the kickboxing tournaments. M and mom worked on that one and The Red Claw without me, but I started learning to be a muse during Purr-a-noia and by the time we wrote Me-YEOW!, M started muttering about me and my character, Mischief, trying to replace Xander. That is not exactly true, but Mischief does have my water skills, so I think she would make a wonderful Sea Purrtector. 

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Do you get to eat a lot of fresh fish since you live so close to the ocean?

Not as much as I’d like to eat – I love, love, love sea food. Saphera does, too, but M purrfers chicken.

(Dad would love her. Someone to appreciate the fish he catches. Wish he’d fish for deli ham some time.)

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Tell us one thing about each of your family members that you really like.

Mr. M tends to be quiet and keep to himself, but he is very smart and I learn a lot from him. He is also a big help with the blog and I can depend on him to share information about science and/or space at least one day per week.

Saphera is an excellent watchdog, except that she mainly watches so she knows when to hide, thus M is a better purrtector, but Saphera is a great surrogate mom.

Pop is super smart and knows a lot about music, gardening and loads of interesting stuff. 

Mom is really good about keeping on her writing schedule and still serving tasty meals on time.

Ms. Munchkin is also very smart and she’s learning to be a good cook.

Master Munchkin is my favorite person and we spend as much time together as possible. He reads me a bedtime story every day.

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What’s it like writing a blog every few days?

It’s pretty easy compared to writing a novel, but then, I get a lot of help from M and mom. 

Is there anything else you’d like to add?

I would like to thank you for choosing me and taking the time to ask these questions…. Purrhaps, if you are ever near Florida’s Space Coast, you’d like to come to a pool party.

 (We need to look up Florida. I don’t think we can walk there. Maybe a business trip so Cheeseland pays for it.)

 

8

Guest Poet

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My son wrote this poem. He told me that I could send it to one of those blogs that ask their readers for various types of participation. However, this being Mother’s Day, I don’t think he can kill me for putting it out where people are (almost) aware of who he is. He’s 18 and in his first year of college. I like it and hope you do too.

Irony

For meter and rhyme,

I haven’t the time,

and my mind is a stagnant pool.

For this is my curse:

I cannot write verse;

can you think of a fate more cruel?

 

I have not the muse,

my mind does refuse,

to pour forth my soul, though I try.

I’m not a poet.

God knows I know it;

I wish I could break down and cry.

 

But still must I write,

most every night,

In hopes that I might one day make,

a poem or lyric,

perhaps a panegyric

that sounds neither trite, bad, nor fake.

 

7

Write What?

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I have noticed that several bloggers have written that the only way to get good at writing is to write everyday, regardless of other commitments. In fact, Ned over at Ned’s Blog went so far as to say that those of us who do not should be spanked (http://nedhickson.com/2013/11/01/regular-writing-can-shape-your-literary-thighs/). While I think this advice has more to do with Ned’s personal preferences than serious advice, the underlying advice is sound. Fortunately, a few others were a little more specific. For example, the Dysfunctional Literate talks about writing on a variety of topics (http://dysfunctionalliteracy.com/2013/10/13/5-rules-for-writing-every-day/).

What no one tells me, though, is what to write about if I really don’t have anything interesting going on in my life. Looking around, I see that some people do short stories/novellas. Since most of my (limited) spare time is spent with literature (yes,that stuff you hated reading in high school) and magazines such as National Geographic and Smithsonian, I am going to guess that my tastes in reading/writing are probably not the key to gaining more readers.

There seem to be a lot of advice columns out there. I could probably do that if I really knew anything about anything. My brain is more like Trivial Pursuit –  lots of cool facts without a lot to tie them together. I guess that hasn’t really hurt some of the people I have seen in the newspapers.

There are a lot of cooking blogs. Unfortunately, most of my cooking comes from looking around the kitchen and seeing what we have. I don’t know what it will taste like until I’m done. When I’m done, I have no way to recreate it because I didn’t measure anything and don’t really remember what I put in. I worry that there might be some kind of legal issue if I accidentally poison a stranger (no, it hasn’t happened at home).

I could write about my family. Only problem is that the humans would quit speaking to me and the cats can’t be counted on to be amusing. I could write poetry, but it really stinks. I could make fun of current events, but most of them succeed just fine doing it themselves. Same for politics. I could write about travel, except I don’t go anywhere. I don’t do photography. I draw a little, but how many plant drawings would people want to look at?

I TOLD you I was boring. Now that I think about it – maybe that has some potential.