14

Forget the Dog Days; It’s Time for the Cat Nights

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It seems like whenever humans talk about the heat this time of year, someone brings up the “Dog Days of Summer.” Some folks thought they were called that because all dogs want to do this time of year is lay around avoiding the heat. The official Dog Days are July 3 – August 11, so they just ended. In the Northern Hemisphere, they generally coincide with the hottest days of the year.

Canis Major | StarDate Online

The Dog Days actually refer to Sirius, the Dog Star. Sirius is part of the constellation Canis Major (the Greater Dog). It is the brightest star visible from any part of Earth. In the summer, it rises and sets with the Sun. On July 23, it actually rises and sets in conjunction with the Sun.

Roman Cats Torre Argentina Cat Santuary the oldest in Rome

Because it is so bright, the ancient Romans believed that it actually gave off heat, adding to the Sun’s warmth. It was their explanation for why that part of the year was so excessively hot. (In reality, it is too far away to provide any warmth.) The Dog Days of Summer refers to the 20 days before and the 20 days after the alignment of Sirius with the sun.

Why Are Black Cats Associated with Halloween? – Furtropolis

But enough about dogs, their days have ended for this year. Let’s move on to something a little more interesting. We are only a few days away from the beginning of Cat Nights. There is an old Irish legend that witches could turn themselves into cats. If they did it eight times, all was well. But a witch tried it a ninth time on August 17 and couldn’t turn back. She was permanently turned into a cat. This legend was the beginning of the belief that cats have nine lives. People also noticed that cats are particularly “yeowly” this time of year. They attributed it to wanting to return to witch form. More likely it has to do with the hot weather.

Why Is My Cat Yowling At Night? Causes & How To Stop Caterwauling

There’s even a poem associated with it:

Cat Nights

By old Irish lore
on the 17th of August
more cats are among us
than ever before.

It is said that witches
can turn into a cat.
But no more than eight switches
as a matter of fact.

On the ninth switch
they cannot regain
their life as a witch.
A cat they must remain.

So if in mid August
you should hear the cats yowl
amongst sounds of the locust
when cats are on the prowl

Then you will know
as lore was told over time
that cats will show
lives as many as nine.

By V. Neumann

15 Orange Cat Breeds You Should Know – PureWow

And let’s not forget that it’s also the time of year for Leo cats. Leo the lion is the zodiac sign that most closely resembles the domestic cat. Leos are born between July 23 and August 22 and are ruled by the sun. Their element is fire, their metal is gold, and their colors are orange and gold. They are born rulers. (Mom says she’s a Leo, but we don’t believe her. There is nothing orange about her.)

Regal Cat Names – [140+ Elegant Ideas!] - Find Cat Names

Leo cats are regal. They are full of confidence, and tend to enter a room with a royal bearing. They are loyal to their subjects and love their humans. As long as they are treated as royalty, all will be well in the kingdom.

Grooming Your Cat | Cat Care | Cats | Guide | Omlet UK

They enjoy the finer things in life and prefer to have things their way. They love their humans, and are usually confident around visitors. They are loving family members. But they have a tendency to not be very patient. They love to be groomed and hate being laughed at. They have an inner jungle cat that needs a lot of play time.

How To Keep Your Cat Warm This Winter | Lily's Luxury Retreat

As a fire sign, Leos like to be warm. Doesn’t matter if it’s a fireplace, sun puddle or warm blanket. They are generally not great at sharing. (After all, they are royalty.) They like to be in charge of whatever is going on.

As you can see, the beginning of summer may have belonged to the dogs, but we are now in cat season.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

15

Cat Forum: The Eyes Have It

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Greetings fellow cats and human companions. As you are aware, cats come in a wide variety of sizes, shapes, and patterns. But one thing that we all have in common is our beautiful eyes. While our ability to see in the dark has been exaggerated, our eyes are pretty amazing.

Cat Eye Watering & Squinting | Cordova Vet

To start with, we have a third eyelid. It sits at the inside corner of the eye. It contains part of the tear gland and produces a lot of tear “film.” The third eyelid assists with keeping your eyes lubricated and healthy. For example, if you get a little dirt in your eye, the tear film helps tears move across the eye to get rid of the irritation. The third eyelid also helps protects your eyes when you’re moving through grass or hunting prey.

Ever Wonder Why Your Cat's Eyes Glow In Pictures?

We also have something called a “tapetum lucidum.” That’s a special reflective structure at the back of our eyes. It’s a little like having a mirror reflect light back onto the retina. If you’ve ever noticed that your eyes glow in certain light, that’s thanks to the tapetum lucidum. It also lets us see better in dim light than the humans can. However, even cats can’t see in total darkness.

Why Cats Have Vertical Pupils | Live Science

Our pupils contract into slits, rather than staying round like the humans. We have a greater variation in pupil size which allows us to see better in the dark. They probably give us better depth perception too.

Cat's eyes matter... - Imgflip

The humans say that we see fewer colors than they do. We have some sensors (cones) in our retinas that process color. But we don’t have as many or the same variety as the humans. We can’t tell red from green. But we can differentiate blues and yellows. Guess that’s why we do so much by smell.

Grey cat with blue eyes by Top Wallpapers

Cats have a variety of eye colors. The DNA we get from our moms and dads determines what color we end up with. The more melanin you get from your parents, the darker your fur will be. It doesn’t really affect eye color. That is determined by pigmentation and blue refraction which are both determined by genetics. Typically, purebred cats have the purest colors. (But not necessarily the prettiest eyes.)

The Cutest Cats With Heterochromia — And Why They Have It

There are a wide variety of color options (the breeds shown are examples, not an exhaustive list):

  • Yellow/Amber/Brown –  Usually found in Bengals, American Shorthairs, Manx, British Shorthairs, LaPerm, Bombay, Sphinx, and Norwegian Forest Cats. Brown eyes may contain a tinge of green, orange, or yellow or be flecked with color.
  • Hazel (green/golden yellow) – Found in wild cats in temperate climates, especially lynx and bobcats. They are also found in Abyssinian, Bengal, Singapura, Cornish Rex, and Scottish Fold cats.
  • Green – Found in the Egyptian Mau and Russian Blue. Some cats with green eyes have gold or yellow specks in them.
  • Aqua/Blue – A pure white cat will almost certainly have blue eyes. The dominant white gene (the epistatic gene) overrules all other color codes. These cats do not have melanin in their irises; the blue eyes are the result of light reflecting off the edge of the iris. Blue eyes are also found in a variety of other cats.
  • Orange/Copper – Found in Japanese Bobtail, Maine Coon, Persian, Cornish Rex, and Chartreux cats. The color seems to have been bred into existence by cat fanciers. Copper is the darkest color seen in cat eyes.
  • Blue/Pink/Lilac – These colors are seen in albino cats
  • Heterochromia – Eyes of two different colors. (Our human brother has this.) One eye is usually blue, while the other is green, hazel, yellow, or orange.
  • Dichromatic – One iris contains two colors. It’s because cats have varying amounts of melanin in various spots of the iris.

We talk with our eyes. Here are some ways that we communicate with our eyes:

  • “Smiling” Eyes – When we’re happy, sometimes we close our eyes half-way and relax.
  • Slow Blink – We think everyone knows that the slow blink is our way of saying “I love you.” Humans even try to initiate it with their cats. Hint: close your eyes slowly, then open them while looking at your human.
  • Staring – A long, steady stare without blinking is a power move. It is a way of establishing dominance.
  • Alert Eyes – When our eyes are wide with dilated pupils, we are ready to go. We’re either excited about something or have some extra energy to get rid of.
  • Wide Eyes – If our eyes are wide and our bodies are tense, something is wrong. We’re either startled or getting ready for a confrontation. Other signs are a fluffed tail and laid-back ears. If you’re petting us, we’re probably overstimulated and it’s time to stop.
  • Narrow Eyes – When our eyes narrow, we are not happy. And it’s almost time to fight.

Beautiful Eyes – Viral Cats Blog

The most important thing your human can do for your eyes is to stay alert. Pay attention to any changes in your eyes (e.g., squinting, consistent protrusion of the third eyelid, discharge, swelling), and take you to the vet if they notice anything. Otherwise, our eyes are pretty low-maintenance.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.
12

Happy Take Your Tiger to Lunch Day!

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International Tiger Day: All The Tiger Subspecies—Extinct Or Endangered

Just kidding. But it is International Tiger Day. It was first celebrated in 2010 when the humans realized that there were only about 3,000 of these magnificent creatures still living in the wild. International Tiger Day was created to make more humans aware of this dire state of affairs and try to stop the potential extinction. The humans in charge are also trying to protect and expand tiger habitats around the world.

Tiger Fact Sheet | Blog | Nature | PBS

Here are some interesting facts about tigers:

Tigers are the largest wild cats in world. Males weigh up to 680 pounds and females can grow to 370 pounds. They are generally six to ten feet long. That is a lot of kitty!

Tigers are carnivores. They only eat meat. Favorites are wild boar and deer. They also eat monkeys, buffalo, sloth bears, and leopards. They have been known to consume crocodiles, cattle, and goats. Our guess is that they can eat whatever they want.

Can jaguars swim better than tigers? - Quora

Tigers hunt alone. They often hunt at night, quietly stalking their prey until they get close enough to pounce. They generally bite the neck or back of the head.

Tigers like water. They are good swimmers, and often cool off in pools or streams. They also will follow prey into the water. They are capable of crossing small lakes and rivers.

Tiger Roar Wallpapers - Top Free Tiger Roar Backgrounds - WallpaperAccess

Tigers can be loud. They growl, roar, chuff, and moan. (But they can’t purr.) They generally growl as a warning to other tigers, and use chuffs and moans to communicate with each other. Roaring is used as a battle cry or long-range communication. They have been heard almost two miles away!

Tigers are fast. Tigers can run up to 40 miles per hour (65 km/h). The only faster cats are the cheetahs.

Tiger stripes – unique and beautiful - Mixreading

Tigers have been around for a long time. They have found fossilized remains of tigers in China believed to be 2 million years old.

Every tiger looks unique. Tiger stripes are like human fingerprints; each tiger has a unique set. Most tigers have over 100 stripes. They act as camouflage in nature, looking like moving shadows in the grass and trees.

Turns Out, Tigers Have Spots That Look Like Eyes On Their Ears To Confuse Prey | Bored Panda

Tigers have fake eyes. They have a white patch of fur on the back of each ear so it looks like they can see behind them, even when they’re sleeping. Makes them even scarier!

There are five subspecies of tiger. They are Bengal, South China, Indochinese, Sumatran, and Amur (Siberian) tigers. The Amur tigers are the largest, growing up to 680 pounds and 10 feet long. The Sumatran tigers are the smallest, topping out at 310 pounds and 8 feet. The Caspian, Bali, and Javan subspecies have become extinct.

Stalking Tiger in Grass | A young Siberian tiger stalks his … | Flickr

Tigers are generally loners. They usually only interact for mating and occasionally to share a kill. Once in a while, they will join together to hunt a large animal.

Male tigers take up more space than females. An adult male’s territory will usually overlap several females’ territories. The strongest male gets his choice of territory.

My daughter's eyelashes, the tiger's tongue, and other grooming devices -Dr. David Hu, Georgia Institute of Technology – Biomimicry Alberta

Grooming is important to tigers. Tigers have rough tongues and use them to remove loose hairs and dirt from their fur. They also use their tongues to spread oils from their glands across their furs. Which is why their fur looks so glossy.

Tigers can be good neighbors. They peacefully coexist with leopards, Asiatic wild dogs, brown bears, and wolves throughout most of their range. They usually avoid the other animals because they are mostly nocturnal while the others are active during the day.

Big cat safety law ends 'Tiger King'-style attractions - E&E News by POLITICO

Sabre-toothed tigers weren’t tigers. Those big teeth were pretty scary, but they’re from a different family of cat.

Tigers are closed related to house cats. We share about 95% of the same DNA. For example, we are all obligate carnivores. Tigers love to play just like us (but with bigger toys). We all learn to hunt early in life. Finally, we all sleep up to 18 hours a day. Take pride in your royal heritage!

Cute Tiger Wallpaper (56+ pictures)

So raise a glass to your royal relatives!

Global Tiger Day, also known as International Tiger Day, is an annual event celebrated on July 29 to promote awareness for tiger conservation. : r/Tenere

15

Snoops: A Day in the Life

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Hello Everyone. It’s me, Snoops. Since Kommando Kitty and Sgt Stripes have been writing posts, I thought you might be interested in learning a little bit more about me. After all, I am senior cat and chief defender of hearth and home around here. I am head mouser and Kommando’s protector. Here’s what my average day looks like:

 

Early Morning

Long before it’s light, I’m up and on the job. The early hours are the prime time for mousing around here. The best place to find them is the pantry. They love the chocolate chips and nuts that Mom keeps for baking. She finally got smart and started putting those things in plastic containers, but the mice still hang around that part of the pantry. I also need to patrol the study and dining room on a daily basis.

I usually leave the mice for Mom and Human Brother (HB). They are TERRIBLE hunters. They think it’s a sign of affection, but I really am trying to keep them from starving. Kommando is also bad at hunting; she thinks mice are toys. Everyone once in a while, I’ll snack on one, but the food is pretty good here.

Morning

Eventually, I hear Mom moving around upstairs. I am not pleased that I no longer have full run of the house. I wish they would finish training Sgt Stripes. The last time he got downstairs, I had to bop him on the head to keep him in line. He runs around like he owns the place.

After what seems like forever, she finally comes downstairs. I jump on the table for morning cuddles then wait for breakfast. She found some new food, that is better than I expected. We’d been eating the old stuff for YEARS and were so bored. Then I join her at the breakfast table for more pets and cuddles before work. She’s pretty well trained. Sometimes I have to share the space with Kommando Kitty. Luckily HB is usually there and can do some of the cuddles.

Right before Mom leaves for work, we get treats. Kommando is really pushy, so she always gets hers first. That’s okay, because she only eats them part of the time. So I get double treats a lot of the time. Sometimes HB leaves after Mom, but he works really weird hours so it seems like he’s around a lot.

Days

HB usually goes upstairs after Mom leaves. So I sometimes chase Kommando around a little bit, but most of the time I settle in for a nice nap. This time of year is great because there are a lot of sun puddles. It hasn’t been really hot in Michigan, so it is very pleasant.

Eventually HB comes back downstairs. Usually to work in the kitchen. Mom says he’s a really good cook, but I’m not sure I agree. Once in a while, he makes tuna and shares with us. That’s really pawsome. But most of the time, his food is revolting. Lots of beans and non-meat stuff. If he does make chicken or fish, you usually can’t find it because of the other stuff he mixes in. I always have to supervise; I keep hoping he’s going to surprise us.

Sometimes HB cleans. That’s not much fun. He’s really loud and moves stuff all over. I have to watch my tail. And his feet. He has almost stepped on me. On the bright side, he usually finds missing toys. I don’t really like to supervise cleaning. I usually look for a place to hide. If he doesn’t vacuum, I can nap or play with Kommando. She’s a good sister – not great – but good.

Days are usually a combination of snacking, napping, bird/wildlife watching, playing with or without Kommando, and supervising the human.

Evenings

Mom gets home around dinner time. Since HB cooks, we wait at the table with her. We help her read email and respond to messages. I don’t know how she’d get anything done without us. Between the three of us (Mom, Kommando, and me), we take up the whole side of the table.

We usually hang around while they eat. I’m not sure why. Like I said, most of the food is barely edible. But I don’t want to take a chance on missing something. Every once in a while, there’s a baked fish in the middle of all of the beans and greens. And chicken shows up fairly often. Besides, they’d be lonely without us.

After dinner, we all hang out in the living room. I usually sit with HB, and Kommando sits with Mom. The humans read or do computer stuff. Sometimes they watch TV. I don’t really like TV, but it does leave their hands free for petting. I usually nap for a while.

Nights

After they go upstairs, I’ll nap for a while longer. Then it’s snack time again. Then more napping before it’s time to wake up for another day.

21

Kommando Kitty’s Absolutely Awful Gotcha Day

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Greetings. It’s Kommando Kitty here, and I am not a happy cat. As some of you may recall, Mom has never been good about birthdays/ Gotcha Days. The previous cats were given “birthdays” based on her best guess. She forgot to do that for us. She is not very organized about some things. We forgave her because we get special treats every weekend to make up for not having our own “special” days.

But when Sgt Stripes came to live with us, it happened on his “neuter” day, which was September 9. (Get it – 9/9/22? Even Mom can’t forget that.) So she tried to reconstruct the dates for Snoops and me. (With some help from our human sister who has a memory like an elephant. Her brain is full of useless stuff that comes in handy once in a while.) Best guess is Snoops is June 28 (too bad we already missed it), and mine is July 13 (found out just in time).

When Mom went upstairs on the 12th, she said I would get special treats in the morning. Yummy! But it was only a couple of hours later when the unthinkable happened: Sgt Stripes came bopping down the stairs!

You may recall that we have the house divided between him upstairs and us ladies downstairs. Mom and our human brother have not been doing a very good job of teaching him manners, so he still thinks I’m a toy. It works out okay. Snoops and I like to have our quiet time, and he thinks everything is a game.

He came down and started looking around. As soon as I saw him, I took off for the study. There’s lots of stuff to hide behind in there. He chased me in there, but then he got bored when I wouldn’t come out. It was a REALLY LONG night.

Snoops here. Kommando is right. It was a terrible night. I tried to just ignore him, but he wouldn’t leave me alone. I tried hissing at him. We went around in a circle a few times, but no fight. Finally, I decided to go to sleep behind the sofa. Luckily, he didn’t see where I went.

I had just settled in when I realized that I couldn’t sleep. What if he attacked Kommando? The last time he was out, Sgt Stripes thought she was acting like prey, (truthfully, she was.) and he thought it was a game. The only way I could get him to let her go was to jump on his back. Our human brother broke that up, so I don’t know who would have won. (I think it would have been me.)

It’s me, Sgt Stripes. I don’t understand what the big fuss is all about. My human brother went downstairs, and he left the door slightly open. I just happened to walk past and noticed it. I haven’t been downstairs in a long time, and I was curious. I don’t know what happened to my human brother. The next thing I knew, I was locked downstairs for the night.

I wasn’t trying to scare the lady cats. But Kommando is really jumpy. And she really does look like prey when she hunkers down. I didn’t mean to scare her; it was just instinct. But she really does a good job hiding. I couldn’t find her for the rest of the night. I finally gave up. I wouldn’t have minding playing with Snoops, but she has kind of a mean streak. She kept hissing at me. It was a pretty disappointing night. I ended up hanging out, waiting for the humans to wake up. Finally, my human brother took me back up. I guess Mom was pretty worried when I was nowhere to be found.

It’s Kommando again. For the record, it is terrifying having a big ball of fur come running at you from across the room. Someone needs to teach him some manners. I was so traumatized, I didn’t even eat my Gotcha Day treats. And now I have to wait an entire year. Maybe I can talk Mom into giving me something special.

(We almost forgot. Kommando’s Gotcha Day is also our WP blogoversary. Happy 10 years – or 8 years since the cats took over.)

14

Thunder Katt Presents: The Treacherous Thunder Tails

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Greetings friends and your non furry servants! It’s Thunder here. Michigan has been awful to live in lately. It’s had lots and lots of loud sky booms- between the fireworks and the storms, my sisters and I have been quivering messes! (Despite my name, I detest thunderstorms. My name comes from my strong verbal skills). I’ve written a piece based on a combination of “The Three Little Pigs” and “Goldilocks”. Please enjoy! 

The sky was blue and the sun was shining. It was a purrfect day to go out and play. Roco, Carrie and Lloyd were taking advantage of the abundance of sunspots and the warm breeze to chase mousies, pounce on rustling leaves, and lounge for naps. Things were going great, when all of the sudden…

Roco: “Do you hear that? What’s that low rumbling in the distance”? 

Carrie: “I don’t know, but our sun is going away, too”. 

Lloyd: “This stinks. I really wanted my fur to get orange highlights. Being brown all the time is so boring”. 

Carrie: “Well, let’s wait and see. Maybe it’s just a blip in the weather”. 

As soon as Carrie said that, rain began to fall. 

Roco: “Ugh! I’m getting wet! Now my tail is going to be all fluffy and my humans are going to make stupid comments”. 

Lloyd: “I see some places that look like decent shelter up ahead. Let’s see if we can find a suitable place to hide out for this travesty”. 

Carrie: “Sounds good. Hopefully they have food. I’m starving. I haven’t eaten in 45 minutes”. 

Roco: “I wouldn’t mind some food. And a nice soft spot to curl up for a nap. I’m overdue by at least 10 minutes”. 

Carrie: “Okay, so a good nap spot and food. Lloyd, do you have any requests”?

Lloyd: “No, I just don’t want to get drenched. Let’s go!” 

The three cats skittered off towards the sheltered area. When they got there, they discovered some sort of campground with tents. They were very excited. Just as they got to the campground a loud clap of thunder came. All three jumped in terror.

Carrie saw a large blue tent. She could smell fish coming from the tent. 

Carrie: “Let’s go in here! It smells delicious. And this loud sky is going to attack us, I just know it is!”

Roco: “I don’t know, Carrie, what about that small brown tent a few feet over? It looks cozy. I bet there are great nap spots there. And yours smells weird. Like fish but mixed with that stuff humans use to smell better, deodorant I think it’s called? What if the humans in there are mean and get mad at you?”

Carrie: “Don’t be ridiculous, Roco. Yours looks tiny. I don’t need you crowding in and twitching your fluffy tail in my face”. 

Lloyd: “Both of those seem like bad options. What about that tent off in the distance? It seems large enough for all of us, and I smell something delicious- catnip, maybe- coming from there. So we’ll get cat friendly people, ample napping spots, food, and shelter. It’s a win-win.” 

Carrie: “NO! That’s too far to walk. We’re going with my choice, and that’s final!”

Lloyd: “Carrie, despite your- ambitious- shall we say, personality, you don’t get to always be in charge. I have an idea. Instead of standing here and arguing, all while getting rained on, why don’t we each go to our selected spot? If one doesn’t work out, we can join the others. But I’m not getting wet, and I’m sick of fighting! 

Roco: “Sounds good to me. Just know, I’m not going to be moving once I get my prime napping spot.” 

Carrie: “Harrumph. Fine. But when you come slinking back to me, remember that I am not sharing any of my food with you!” 

Lloyd: “That’s fine. Let’s split”. 

Carrie, Roco, and Lloyd split up. Carrie starts to try to paw her way into her selected tent when another thunderclap happens. She jumps and hisses. 

Carrie: “Come on, tent! Unzip so I can get in!” Just then, the tent unzipped. Looking back at her was a very unhappy looking human. 

Mean Human: “What do you want, cat? Shoo, go away. We don’t need mangy strays with us”. 

With that, the human closed the tent. Carrie hung her head and walked away sadly. 

Carrie: “Grumpy old man. I hope his fish tastes like water and not actual fish”. 

Carrie meets up with Roco at his tent. 

Roco: “Well, look at what the cat dragged in. What happened, no fish?” 

Carrie: “Stop talking and let me in. I don’t want to talk about it. 

Roco: “Well, here is no good, either. The humans let me in, but they’d had their blankets out for a picnic, and they got soaked. I may as well have tried to nap in a mud puddle.” 

Carrie: “Oh, that’s awful! Well, let’s go find Lloyd. I doubt he’s had better luck. But we can all be miserable together”. 

Just then, more thunder sounded. Carrie and Roco fluffed their tails and ran. 

Carrie: “Ugh, this thunder is going to make my furs turn gray! I hope it’s almost done!”

Roco: “Me, too. Oh look, there’s Lloyd’s tent. But I don’t see Lloyd. I hope he’s okay.”

Roco and Carrie run up to the tent and start meowing desperately. Pretty quickly, a kind looking woman opens the tent.

Nice Human: “Oh, hello there kitties! You guys look soaked- and you must be terrified . I think I have one of your buddies; why don’t you come in and wait out this storm?”

Grateful, Carrie and Roco run inside. They spot Lloyd in the corner, curled up and licking his lips. 

Lloyd: “Hey guys! What happened to your tents?”

Carrie: “It was awful! The human was mean, and wouldn’t share his fish!”

Roco: “Mine was soaked inside and out. It was unpleasant, at best”. 

Lloyd: “Oh no, that stinks. Well, we lucked out here. This person loves cats! She shared her chicken with me, and said I can stay as long as I would like. And look, she’s bringing you some food, too”. 

Carrie perked up. “Oooh, food! I’m definitely staying!”

Roco: “And I can get my nap! This place is pawsome!”

Lloyd: “I am glad you think so. Not to brag, but… I told you so!”

Carrie, Roco, and Lloyd hang out for the next few hours while the thunder and rain pass. On their way back to their humans… 

Carrie: “Well, today was… Interesting. Let’s not repeat”. 

Roco: “Yeah, I just got my tail fluff down.”

Lloyd: “Maybe next time, we should just run home and be protected by our humans from the storm. But for now, I’m going to go home and play with my favorite Mousie toy. See you later!”

16

Charlemagne T Persian, Grill Master – Part 2

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Will Those Holiday Leftovers Poison Your Cat? - CatGazette

Where we are: Charlemagne (Charlie) received a grill for Father’s Day and loves using it. He’s impressed family and friends with his skill on fish and burgers. Now he’s looking for a new challenge. He has invited several people over for a new experience: grilled turkey. His wife Maggie isn’t sure it’s a good idea. You can read Part 1 here. 

Tommy: Dad! Can I help you with the turkey?

Charlie: Sure! First thing, I need to figure out how to get it on the grill. I had no idea they got so big.

Tommy: That thing is huge! It’s almost as big as you are.

Charlie: I know. They looked a lot smaller in the pictures.

21-step Guide On How To Cook With Cats | Bored Panda

Tommy: I thought up a slogan for you: “The thrill is in the grill.”

Charlie: I like it! Maybe I’ll get that on an apron.

Celeste: Daddy, are you making a butterfly turkey or a regular turkey?

Tommy: Why would he make a turkey out of butterflies? That sounds disgusting!

Celeste: You don’t make it out of butterflies. That’s just what you call it when you cut it up before you put it on the grill.

Charlie: Where did you hear about that?

Dont Show Your Cat on Twitter: "little chef https://t.co/k5lGH40Wrw" / Twitter

Celeste: Angelina at school. Her brother is a gourmet chef, so she thinks she knows everything. She says it’s the only way to cook a turkey on a grill.

Charlie: Hmm. Never heard of it.

Maggie: I’m not sure I trust you with a large knife.

Charlie: Please. I’m a pure-bred cat. I can handle a knife. Celeste, find me the instructions for a butterfly turkey.

Celeste (looking on her phone): It says it’s called spatchcocking. It looks kind of complicated.

Tommy: Maybe we should just drag the whole thing over and dump it on the grill.

Charlie: Why should we do this spatching thing?

Why Is My Cat Sniffing Everything All Of A Sudden? - Cats.com

Celeste: The video says it takes less time to cook and it cooks more evenly.

Maggie: Less time on the grill is appealing. Didn’t you say it was going to take hours? You’ll never get the smell out of your fur.

Tommy: Smelling like a smoked turkey would be amazing!

Celeste: Eww!

They all watched the video with Celeste.

Maggie: I don’t think this is a good idea. Look at all that cutting.

Charlie was enthralled.

Charlie: I’m doing it. That looks amazing. I can be a gourmet grill-cat.

Before my mom leaves the house, she sets up the kindle so the cat can watch bird videos in bed. : r/aww

Maggie: You’re an executive at a software company. Kitties love your chase games. You don’t need to be a grill-cat.

Charlie: This is going to be amazing. Tommy, let’s get the bird. I have to get started.

Maggie and Celeste decided it would be a good time to sun-bathe. They heard the sound of the turkey being dragged across the kitchen followed by a large “plop!” as they headed outside.

Charlie: You’re in charge of the social media, Tommy. I want all of this recorded. It’s gonna be impressive.

Tommy: You got it, Dad. We can edit it later.

Splitting the turkey was a lot more work than Charlie anticipated. Because he had to hold the knife between his paws, it was a long series of stabs. Finally he thought it was ready.

Charlie: Okay, Tommy. I’m going to grab one side and you grab the other. On the count of three, pull hard.

They put their paws into the cuts and pulled back. Nothing happened.

Felt cute... Might kill my owner later : r/cats

Charlie: Guess I need a few more cuts.

He stabbed the turkey a few more times before they tried pulling again. Still nothing. Charlie was getting annoyed. He started stabbing harder.

Charlie: Let’s try again.

They braced themselves and pulled as hard as they could. Finally they heard a cracking. Before they realized what was happening, they were both on the floor with the turkey in pieces.

Tommy: I think we pulled too hard.

Charlie: They didn’t mention that happening in the video.

Cat falling off the couch fangies! : r/fangies

Tommy: What should we do?

Charlie: I guess we can just grill the pieces. It should take even less time this way.

Tommy: Excellent!

They cleaned up the mess and were getting ready to take the turkey out to the grill when Maggie and Celeste walked in.

Maggie: My cats! What happened to you two? You look like you’ve been in a cat fight!

Tommy: The turkey was pretty feisty, but we managed it.

Maggie: You need to get cleaned up before the guests get here. I don’t want to be embarrassed by everyone thinking you were beat up by a turkey.

Cat Chillin' in a Grill Like the Boss of All Bosses [IMAGE]

They put the turkey on the grill and then bathed. By the time the guests arrived, the turkey was beginning to smell delicious. Finally, it was time to eat.

Nana Cat: That smells delicious, Charlemagne.

Benji: Have to admit, brother. I didn’t think you’d pull it off.

Charlie: Everyone, have a seat and I’ll serve the turkey.

He slid the turkey onto a platter and brought it to the table.

Human Foods Cats Can Eat: Keeping Kitty Safe During the Holidays

Monica: That’s the strangest looking turkey I’ve ever seen. How did you prepare it?

Benji: That’s because you get yours in a can.

Tommy: It’s called spatchcocking.

Celeste: He butterflied it.

Benji: It looks more like he stepped on it.

Charlie: Just a slight issue with the knife. It’s ultra-butterflied.

Tommy: We’re going to call it Turkey Charlemagne.

It was delicious. But the video got lost somewhere along the line. Charlemagne is trying to talk Maggie into letting him buy another turkey.

Cat Signals for Expressing Happiness and Mood

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

23

Charlemagne T Persian, Grill Master

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Dont Show Your Cat on Twitter: "my boy can work a grill https://t.co/KBUtdyLghu" / Twitter

Mama Cat rushed in from work. It had been a long day. She wondered why she didn’t smell dinner.

Mama Cat: Celeste, where’s Daddy? He’s supposed to be making dinner tonight.

Celeste: He’s out back on the patio.

Mama Cat: What’s he doing out there? Isn’t he going to cook?

Celeste: He wants to try out his Father’s Day gift.

Mama Cat: Seriously? Tonight?

Celeste: He’s really excited. Tommy’s out there with him.

Pros and Cons of Outdoor Litter Boxes I Modkat

Mama Cat shook her head. Her husband, Charlemagne (or Charlie), had asked for a grill for Father’s Day. She thought he was crazy, but the kids wanted to get it for him. She had never heard of a cat grilling, but he seemed thrilled when he opened it. She walked out the back door.

Mama Cat: Charlie! You’re not really going to use that thing are you?

Tommy: Hi, Mom! Dad’s almost ready to start. Wanna watch?

Mama Cat watched her large, fluffy husband as he added the last of the charcoal to the grill. He was usually so elegant, but now his paws were covered in soot.

Why Do Cats Lick Their Paws? | Hill's Pet

Charlie: Hi, Maggie! You’re just in time! I’m getting ready to fire it up!

Maggie: I’m not sure that’s a good idea. What if your fur catches fire? I don’t think cats were meant to grill.

Charlie: Didn’t you watch any of the videos I sent you on CatView? It’s the hottest thing with all the hipster cats. I think I’m the first one in our neighborhood. It’s going to be legendary!

Maggie: If you don’t set yourself on fire.

Tommy: He’s not going to set himself on fire, Mom. He’s got one of those long, lighter things to start the fire.

Charlie: OK, everyone. Stand back. Here I go.

cat cooking barbecue | Funny animals, Funny animal pictures, Funny cat pictures

He held the flame to the charcoal. There was a “whoosh” sound, and a large flame.

Maggie: Charlemagne! Was it supposed to do that?

Charlie: Calm down, Maggie! I might have used a little too much starter fluid, but it stayed in the grill. Now we just have to wait for it to burn down to coals so I can cook the fish.

He pointed at a couple of salmon steaks he had prepared in a flat basket.

Charlie: All I have to do is put the basket on the coals and turn it over a couple of times to cook the fish. It’s going to be great!

Maggie wasn’t sure.

5 Vegetables Cats Can Eat (And 5 To Avoid!) - Cats.com

Maggie: All right. What do you have to go with the fish?

Charlie: Go with it? Like what?

Maggie: Maybe some kind of side dish?

Charlie: It’s barbecue. It’s all about the meat.

Tommy: Or fish.

Charlie: Yeah. The fish.

Maggie went back in the house to wait with Celeste. Before long, they were in with the fish.

Is it safe to feed fish to cats? | Honolulu Star-Advertiser

Celeste: Daddy, this is yummy!

Tommy: Yeah. It’s great.

Maggie: I admit, it does taste good.

Charlie: See? The grill was a great idea.

Maggie sniffed.

Maggie: What’s that smell?

Charlie: What smell?

Sniffing Kitty - Love Meow

Celeste: It kinda smells like something’s still cooking. It’s smoky.

Charlie: I don’t know. I don’t smell anything.

Maggie: That’s because it’s you. The smoke got in your fur. Your beautiful thick fur is full of smoke.

Charlie: Well, that’s a small price to pay for that great fish. Right, kids?

Celeste and Tommy nodded. They really liked the fish.

Tommy: Can you grill some more tomorrow?

Cat Awake at Night - Reducing Nocturnal Activity ~ Pelaqita

Maggie: I’m not going to sleep next to you if you’re going to smell like smoked fish.

Charlie: Fine. I’ll go sit outside until it blows out of my fur. But I love my new grill, and I’m going to keep using it.

Charlie practiced with his grill for the next few weeks and was getting really good with it. Some of the other cats in the neighborhood started to comment on the wonderful smells coming out of his backyard.

Charlie: Hey, Maggie. I think we should have a party for the neighbors. I want to show off my new skills.

Maggie: I guess we could do that. How many fish do you think we’ll need?

The Name for A Group of Cats Explained

Charlie: I don’t want to do fish. I think I’m ready for something a little bigger.

Maggie: What did you have in mind?

Charlie: I saw a guy grilling a turkey. I want to try that.

Maggie: I don’t think that’s a good idea for a party. You’ve only been doing this a few weeks. You’re really good at fish and burgers. Let’s do that.

Charlie: No. I want a turkey.

Maggie: Charlemagne, that sounds really hard.

Charlie: I have the video. How hard can it be?

Next week: Charlemagne learns that grilling a turkey is different than grilling a fish.

Will Those Holiday Leftovers Poison Your Cat? - CatGazette

Pictures courtesy of Google Images. 

17

Mark and Shane Go to Bear Camp – Part 3

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Trump Team: Letting Hunters Kill Bear Cubs Is Top Priority

Where we are: Twin cubs Mark and Shane have been sent to Bear Camp by their exhausted mother. Shane is pretty shy but has been “adopted” by Broz, a seasoned camper. You can read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

They have been at camp for two weeks. It’s time for Parents Day before they head home. Mark sees Mama and Papa Bear and runs over to them. He gives them a big hug.

Bear hugs Photograph by Ruth Jolly - Fine Art America

Mark: Hi Mama! Hi Papa! I missed you guys.

Mama Bear: Did you have a good time?

Mark: It was great! We swam and fished. And we learned how to use a raft. And we hiked and learned tracking tips. I had a amazing time! Wanna see the paw print I made you?

Mama Bear: In a minute, honey. Where’s Shane? I thought you two would be together.

Mark: No. They made us split up. Shane has a new friend; I’ve only see him at meals and campfires. I made a bunch of new friends too.

Adorable bears caught playing peekaboo, stealing kisses

Papa Bear: It sounds like you boys learned a lot.

Mark: We did Papa. And we’re gonna do a skit in the program after lunch.

Papa Bear: Is Shane in your skit?

Mark: No. He’s doing something else. It’s something top-secret.

Shane came running up.

Shane: Mama! Papa! I missed you so much. But I really like camp. I made a new friend. Wanna meet him?

Mama Bear: Of course, sweetie. Where is he?

Running bear cubs wallpaper - Animal wallpapers - #26121

Shane waved to Broz, who came running over.

Shane: Broz, this is my mom and dad. Mama, Papa, this is my friend Broz Bear.

Mama Bear: It’s very nice to meet you. I’m glad Shane made a friend here. We were a little concerned that he might not like camp.

Broz: He’s a great camper. And just wait until you see how talented he is. You’re really going to enjoy our part of the show.

Mama Bear: What are you going to do? Is it another skit?

Shane: It’s top secret, Mama. We’ve been practicing every night.

Mama Bear looked at Mark.

Mark: Don’t look at me. I have no idea what they’re doing. They wouldn’t tell anybody.

Brown Bear Standing Tall. | Brown bear, Bear, Kodiak bear

Counselor Dave banged a loud gong.

Counselor Dave: Welcome parents! We’re glad to see you all. It’s been an exciting two weeks, and the campers can’t wait to show you the entertainment they put together for you. First, let’s eat. Everybody head over to the Mess Hall.

Papa Bear: Thank goodness! I’m starving.

Mama Bear: What are we having?

Papa Bear: Smells like fish.

Mark: You’re right. And lots of berries. We picked them fresh this morning.

Shane: There’s some honey too.

Papa Bear: Yummy!

Do Bears Really Love Honey? | Mental Floss

The bears all settled in and were quickly fed. After everyone was finished eating, the campers left to get ready for the show.

Counselor Dave: Once again, welcome parents. The campers have a short presentation for you. After that, we will be giving out a couple of awards before you head for home. First up are the Bearly There Players performing their original skit titled, “Oh No! It’s a Bear!”

Two of the older campers pretended to be human parents on a picnic with their children. They made a great fuss of telling their children how dangerous bears are, and how they needed to beware of the bears while they were in the woods. The joke behind the skit was that they had set up their picnic in a bear’s home and terrified the poor bear when it woke up from a nap and found a group of humans in it’s front room

The audience roared with laughter at the little bears pretending to be humans and cheered the skit.

Funny bear cub sits on the ground in the forest. summer. finland. photo – Mammal Image on Unsplash

Counselor Dave: You guys did a great job! Very realistic portrayal of the humans. Normally, we would have two skits at the end of camp. But our other group wanted to do something a little different. So I present to you the Bongo Bears!

Shane, Broz and the rest of their group came on the stage carrying small drums. They sat on the ground and performed a short beat. They then broke into a fairly complicated cadence, picking up speed as they went along. Shane was totally absorbed. When they finished, he broke into a huge grin. The audience loved it.

Counselor Dave: Nice work, campers! I think we may make drumming a regular part of camp. Maybe we could even start a camp band.

Mama Bear: I’m really proud of you, Shane. You weren’t shy up there at all.

Shane: I owe it to Broz. He introduced me to the rest of the guys. He knows all the campers. Everyone was really nice.

Bear cubs pictured in Alaska playing in long grass before hugging | Daily Mail Online

Counselor Dave: We just wanted to hand out a couple of awards before we finish up. We want to recognize the bear who best exemplifies the spirit of Bear Camp. The camper who excels at teamwork and camaraderie. Then we want to recognize the bear who has made the most progress in developing their skills while they were here. I think everyone knows who the winners are.

Broz looked at Shane and started grinning.

Broz: It’s us, Dude!

Shane: Nah. I never win anything.

Counselor Dave: He’s right, Shane. Broz has been the heart of the camp this year. And you definitely are the most improved. You didn’t even want to come to lunch the first day. Remember?

Shane blushed under his fur.

Three adorable bear cubs give their mum a hug while feeding | The US Sun

Counselor Dave: We have little awards for you. But we also want you to take your drums. You can practice all year for when you come back.

Shane and Broz were thrilled.

Shane: Broz, we can get together and practice. It’ll be great!

Mark: I can learn too.

Broz: That’s an excellent idea!

Mama Bear groaned.

Sleepy bear | Taken at the San Antonio Zoo More details on m… | Flickr

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

12

Mark and Shane Go to Bear Camp – Part 2

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How To Avoid Bears In Camp — ScouterLife

Where we are: Twin brothers Mark and Shane have been sent to bear camp for a couple of weeks by their exhausted mother. Shane, the more introverted brother, has discovered that he will not be sharing a cabin with his brother and their friend Danny. You can read Part 1 here.

Counselor Dave: OK, everybody. You have 15 minutes to get your stuff stowed, and then we gather in the Mess Hall. That’s where the food is, for all you first-timers.

Norway: Hikers asked to collect bear droppings - BBC News

Shane went into his cabin and found the bed with his name on it. It was a bunk bed, and he was on the bottom bunk. His bunk mate bounced around the cabin, getting settled in. He seemed to be friends with everyone. Shane curled up on his bed.  Then he felt a paw on this shoulder.

Voice: Little Dude, what’s wrong?

Shane: Leave me along. I don’t feel well.

Voice: C’mon Little Dude. It’s OK. Talk to me.

Shane turned around to see his bunk-mate. He was smiling at Shane; he looked nice.

Adorable Video Shows Bear Cubs Purring in Den, Snuggled next to Mom

Shane: I was supposed to be going to camp with my brother, but they’re making us stay in separate cabins. I don’t want to be here by myself:

Bear: You’re not by yourself. You’re with me.

Shane: Who are you?

Bear: My name is Broz. I came to camp last year. It’s pretty cool here.

Shane: I’m Shane. Nice to meet you.

Broz: Let’s get you unpacked. Don’t want to be late for lunch.

Broz helped Shane make his bunk and put away his clothes. They walked over to the Mess Hall together. They sat with Mark and Danny for lunch. It was delicious.

Mark: Hey, Shane! How’s it going?

Shane: Mark, this is Broz. He’s my bunk-mate.

18 Adorable Photos of Bears Being Basically Like Big Puppies — Best Life

Mark: Hey, Broz. You gonna take care of my brother? He doesn’t do well in strange situations. I thought we’d be together, but they won’t let me switch cabins.

Broz: Don’t worry about him. I’ll make sure nothing happens to him. Right, buddy?

Shane smiled at Broz. He’d never met such a nice bear.

Counselor Dave: OK, everybody. This afternoon, we’re going to go down to the lake and do a little fishing. Cabin A is with me, and Cabin B is with Counselor Ted. Yep, you heard me. Ted Bear. Good luck with your fishing. It’s your dinner.

Mark and Shane looked at each other. Too bad Jobear wasn’t there. He was the fisherman. They had never been near the water. Broz looked at their worried expressions and laughed.

Of Bears and Salmon, the Vital Connection

Broz: Don’t worry. They’re not going to let you starve. Besides, Shane, I know the best place to fish. Stick with me.

Shane grinned at his brother.

Shane: Wanna bet on who gets the most fish?

Mark: Not a chance. You’re cheating.

Broz: It’s not cheating. There aren’t any rules against bunk-mates fishing together.

Danny: Besides. I think they’re going to have one big kettle of fish. We’re all going to share.

Broz: That is true. C’mon Little Dude. Let’s get fishing.

The bears spent the afternoon at the lake fishing. Broz had been telling the truth; he was a good fisherman. He taught Shane how to flip the fish out of the water. By the end of the afternoon, they had a small pile. Counselor Dave came by and congratulated them.

SpiritHoods on Twitter: "High five if you snagged a Black Bear hood today! https://t.co/YbYdjF9J0c https://t.co/q9QzMbJCd4" / Twitter

Counselor Dave: Excellent teamwork, boys! You have the most fish. Go in the lake and clean up for dinner. I’ll get these back to camp.

Shane and Broz looked at each other and slapped paws. Shane couldn’t believe his luck.

Shane: You are pawsome, Broz! Thanks for teaching me.

Broz: No problem. My brothers taught me. I’m just passing it along.

At dinner, Counselor Dave told all the campers how many fish Broz and Shane had caught. He said it was a good example of what teamwork could do. As a reward, they could choose the evening’s snacks. Broz didn’t hesitate.

Broz: We want s’mores!

Shane: What’s a s’more?

Broz: Dude! You don’t know what a s’more is? Toasted marshmallows and chocolate between graham crackers. They’re the best!!

Shane: Yep! We want s’mores.

4 grizzly bear cubs Katmai National Park, Alaska.

Shane sat at the campfire with Mark and Danny. Broz was talking to some of the other bears. Finally, he sat next to Shane.

Broz: Okay, Little Dude. I’ve been talking to some of the other guys. They agreed to let you join our secret band.

Shane: Band of what?

Broz: That’s the secret.

Shane: Can I tell Mark and Danny?

Broz: Then it wouldn’t be a secret.

Next week: What’s the secret?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

Wilford The Bear Makes A Bed And Takes A Nap In The Angeles National Forest - YouTube