Tag Archives: pouncing

20

Cats in the Doghouse

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Hi everybody! It’s me, Onyx. The beautiful black house panther. I’ve been having a great time since they opened up the house a couple of weeks below. We all now have full run of the house. No more upstairs cats and downstairs cats. It’s just cats. I love it. I can go where I want, when I want. I”m still Blondie’s therapy cat, but now I can get treats downstairs from Mom too.

Sgt Stripes is enjoying the freedom too. He’s upstairs part of the time and downstairs part of the time. He particularly loves the downstairs windows. Snoops is upstairs part of the time now. The only ones that aren’t taking advantage of the extra space are Gypsy and Angel. Gypsy stays upstairs and Angel stays downstairs. Hopefully they’ll be moving around soon.

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Mom isn’t too sure about the new arrangement. We cats are adapting to each other at our own pace, but there have been a few hiccups. I’ll tell you about a few of them.

The Crime: Hissing at Sgt Stripes whenever he comes near.

The Criminal: Angel.

The Excuse: I want to make sure he doesn’t attack me or try to play pounce with me.

The Crime: Playing pounce on unsuspecting cats

The Criminal: Sgt Stripes

The Excuse: I just want someone to place with. I can’t believe I’m living with four other cats and no one wants to play with me.

The Crime: Growling at Sgt Stripes whenever he comes near.

The Criminal: Snoops

The Excuse: I will never forgive him for scaring Kommando Kitty by running after her and pouncing

The Crime: Chewing through a bag of treats and opening a canister of treats

The Criminal: Onyx

The Excuse: I was hungry and those are my favorite thing to eat.

The Crime: Cornering Snoops on the litter box.

The Criminal: Gypsy

The Excuse: I was just watching. I wasn’t going to touch her.

The Crime: Eating Snoops wet food if Snoops saves some for later.

The Criminal: Angel.

The Excuse: I want to make sure nothing is wasted.

The Crime: Licking everyone’s wet food before the owner can eat it.

The Criminal: Sgt Stripes

The Excuse: I keep hoping I’ll find some that I like.

The Crime: Hiding in rooms that are normally closed off (e.g., the front porch and the study).

The Criminal: Snoops

The Excuse: I need peace and quiet. No matter where I go, there’s another cat.

The Crime: Knocking things off the shelves and dressers

The Criminal: Gypsy

The Excuse: I’m trying to make the house less cluttered.

Coming Next Week: The Great Debate:            

16

Dear Tabby: Cheeseland’s Favorite Advice Columnist

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Sgt Stripes here. I was talking to my cousin the other day about my new job as a writer on the blog. She said that she writes a blog too. She said that she gives advice to other kitties. She said that she had even posted here one time. I was looking through the archives, and she was right. My cousin is Dear Tabby! You can see her earlier work here.

I asked her to answer whether she’d like to answer some questions for our readers. She said that she would be happy to help. She offered to post some recent answers here so you’d know the kind of thing she’s good at.

Here's how your cat experiences the world

Dear Tabby – I’m a 4-year-old lady cat; I would describe myself as pretty shy. I spend most of my time watching Cat TV and chasing the red dot. My human decided that I needed a playmate. I don’t really understand why. I thought that we had a pretty good thing going, Last week, she brought home a kitten. Why? I have no idea. The little guy is pretty cute, but all he does is run around. His favorite game is Pounce. I do not want to be pounced upon. How do I get him to leave me alone? Alone by Choice

Stalking And Pouncing In Cats: Reasons And Solutions, 59% OFF

Dear Alone – Have you thought about pouncing back? At this point, you are probably bigger than he is. Perhaps he won’t be so enthusiastic when he is the pounce-ee rather than the pouncer.

How to Make Your Kitten and Cat Become Friends | Everypaw

Dear Tabby – I am a stay-at-home mom with three adorable kittens. There are a few of us moms who have gotten close and we like to get together to let the kittens play. We are also available to kitten-sit if someone has an appointment or whatever. The issue is our neighbor. I’ll call her Eve. She works outside the home which is fine. However, whenever she has an issue with childcare, Eve just drops her kitten off with one of us without any notice. She says, “You’re home anyway. What’s one more kitten.?” That’s true, but she takes it for granted that we don’t mind and never offers anything in return or payment. We are starting to resent her attitude. How do we tell her nicely that we’d be happy to help in an emergency but we don’t want to be her back-up daycare? Stressed Out Mom

Kittens and Their Development - FOUR PAWS International - Animal Welfare Organisation

Dear Stressed Out – Have any of you ladies learned the word “no”?  You need to explain that your days are not just filled with sharing a saucer of cream and letting the kittens play. If this situation is occurring regularly, perhaps you could help her find more reliable childcare.

Does your dog or cat like to lounge in the sun? | NutriSource Pet Foods

Dear Tabby – I share a home with two other cats. We get along well enough except for one small issue. Where we live, it’s pretty gloomy during the winter with a lot of overcast skies. When spring finally arrives, it’s a battle for the good sun puddles. The prime spot shifts during the day. We’re pretty much okay with whoever gets there first having the spot. We are arguing over whether the cat that claims the spot should get to keep it if they get up for a kibble break. What is the proper etiquette? Sun Lover

188 Cats Who Love Sun More Than Anything | Bored Panda

Dear Lover – I recommend you get a timer. When the lucky kitty gets up, they turn on the timer. If they get back before the timer goes off, they get to keep the spot. Of course, this relies on you all agreeing to how long the break should be. I would advise something in the neighborhood of how long you usually spend at the litter box. Or you could find a larger sun puddle.

Can Cats Eat Carrots?

Dear Tabby – My wonderful boyfriend was told by the doctor that he needs to drop a couple of pounds. So he has started a new food. It seems to be giving him stomach issues. The litter box smells awful. I’m getting nauseated by the smells he’s passing. Should I tell him? Stinky Guy’s Girl

What's That Smell? - Perth Cat Hospital

Dear Girl – I imagine that he is aware of the issue. You can either stay someplace else until his body adapts or start wearing a gas mask.

Sgt Stripes here again. I can’t believe my cousin is so good at this. Does anyone have a question for her?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

17

Sgt Stripes Interviews Zak the Yak

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Yak Yak Yak. He cant stop talking - isnt he cute : r/Eyebleach

Long-time readers may recall us writing about Yak Express, the delivery service we use in Cheeeland. We’ve been noticing that deliveries are slowing down a bit. We sent Sgt Stripes to find out what is going on. Here is his report’

Greetings! It’s Sgt Stripes here, and I have a rather exciting interview to share with you. 

Back in 2022, Onyx and Thunder illustrated the difficulties in the feline world that the yak shortage presented. I’ve noticed that there is still a rather severe shortage of many goods, so I decided to dig a little bit into the yak world. After much mewling, purring, swiping with claws, and being excessively adorable, I managed to secure an interview with Zak, one of the top managers of Yak Express! 

Sgt Stripes: Zak, thank you so much for agreeing to speak with me! 

Zak: The pleasure is mine, Sarge… may I call you Sarge? Although I have to admit, I wasn’t thrilled when I heard you threatened to harm one of my call center mice.

Sgt Stripes: I don’t think I necessarily threatened any harm on Lunch…

Zak: …her name is Michelle.

Sgt Stripes: Oh. Whoops. Sorry, I had sort of assumed that her name had something to do with her purpose in life. 

Zak: Uh, no. And that’s not the real issue we had, she was more upset that you wanted to use her for something called “Pounce Practice”? 

Sgt Stripes: OH! Oh, no, that was all a big misunderstanding. You see, Pounce is a game! My favorite game, actually. I play it with my cousins Onyx and Gypsy a lot! And with the humans in the house. Everyone loves Pounce! 

Zak: Oh. Well, while I can appreciate that, Michelle saw it as a threat. She feared she may be crushed, and possibly even consumed, if she were forced to play. 

Sgt Stripes: Oh no! I would never hurt anyone. I just get really, really enthusiastic when I play Pounce. Please pass along my apologies to her. 

Large hairy yak carrying load close up, ... | Stock Video | Pond5

Zak: I will do so. So, what can I do for you today?

Sgt Stripes: Well, I don’t mean to come off as rude… but your employees seem to really have gone downhill in quality. I understand that there was a pandemic- and that greatly impacted much of the workforce- but now, as we’re returning to a sense of normality, I notice that we’re still short on a lot of cat merchandise. What’s up with that? 

Zak: Could you possibly list some specific items you’re seeking? I seem to remember signing off on a rather large shipment on Fancy Feast wet food… I had to get my 3 strongest yaks for that one. It set us behind for days. 

Sgt Stripes: Hopefully it negatively affected the dogs and not other cats. 

Zak: I’d have to review my records. 

Sgt Stripes: I’ve primarily noticed a protein shortage. We haven’t been able to find vole anywhere! At first I was heart set on getting whole, fresh voles. Then I decided I would settle for any sort of vole- ground, chunked, frozen, even canned. But there was nothing to be found! 

Zak: Couldn’t you just go hunt some in your yard?

Sgt Stripes: NO! I have PTSD from my days on the street. I want to be able to log onto Mr Google and use Mom’s credit card to order vole directly to my door. Might you know when this will be possible?

Zak: Well, unfortunately, not any time soon. 

Sgt Stripes: What?!? But I’m starving over here! 

Zak: You are?

Sgt Stripes: Yes! And on top of that, we’ve noticed several other shortages: luxury litter boxes, heated beds, extra fluffy blankets… are you meaning to tell me that Yak Express may no longer be able to supplement the needs of felines world wide? 

Zak: Well, not necessarily. However, as I’m sure you know, it’s been a lot rougher starting our economy up than we’d anticipated. We lost a fair number of yaks during the dark years, and there just aren’t that many options for replacements. 

Luxury self catering cottage with swimming pool in the grounds of a Monastery on Loch Ness - Fort Augustus | Vrbo

Sgt Stripes: Can’t you just post on social media that you need yaks and give them some extra grass or something? 

Zak: Not exactly. See, our yaks have to be able to carry at least 200 pounds, walk for up to 30 miles per day, and swim with loads. A lot of the yak applicants are either too small or not physically fit enough to get hired. The illness affected a lot of our yak’s, too, so we had many medical retirements. 

Sgt Stripes: Can’t you just hire the undesirable yaks and give them lighter loads? 

Zak: Unfortunately not. Safety and work regulations prohibit that. 

Sgt Stripes: What if I look really cute and purr at the guy in charge? I’ll even let him play with my elusive red dot! 

Zak: I don’t think that’ll make a difference… 

Sgt Stripes: What if I give head bonks? I’ve been known to knock people over with how powerful they are! 

Yaks In Indian Himalayas Facing Threat Of Climate Change, Says Study

Zak: Do you really want to knock over a yak? 

Sgt Stripes: Oh… no, probably not. Darn. But I really, really want my vole back! 

Zak: Well, that’s the other issue. There’s been a lot of rules put into place as to what we are and are not allowed to transport. Living creatures, such as vole and mice, did not make the list due to safety concerns and training requirements. 

Sgt Stripes: I said I’d take canned vole. 

Zak: I’m not sure that’s a common commodity here… but I will make note of it. 

Sgt Stripes: Thank you! But if we can’t fix the vole shortage, could we maybe discuss getting the other items plentifully replenished? 

Zak: Well, I can talk about prioritizing the needs of our feline customers over other customers. However, there have been several complaints about that already…

Sgt Stripes: Eh, it’s okay. They’ll get over it. I really, really need a fluffy blanket. The one I have keeps getting stolen by Onyx and her human. 

White-Tailed Deer | Mississippi State University Extension Service

Zak: …noted… However, I’m not willing to make any promises. But I and the other yaks will do our best. 

Sgt Stripes: Purrfect! Meanwhile, I”ll keep my eyes out for suitable employees for you. Do you happen to take deer? We seem to have a lot of those around here. 

Zak: Not for the type of transportation needs you have. 

Alaska moose - Wikipedia

Sgt Stripes: Okay, well, what about mini humans? I have two that live with me I’d be willing to rent out. 

Zak: No. Our smallest yak is bigger than them combined. 

Sgt Stripes: Oh, well. I guess I’ll keep looking. Maybe I’ll find a moose who needs a job. 

Zak: That would be lovely. 

Sgt Stripes: Well, I really must go, I’m due for a nap in 3 minutes. But I want to thank you for your time and hard work, Zak.

Zak: Thank you for the interview, Sarge! It’s been a pleasure meeting with you. 

Sgt Stripes: Hey, you look big enough for Pounce! Want to try it? 

Zak: Uh, no thanks… Oh, look at that, I really must go… I need to transport some TidyCats. Bye! 

And there you have it, from the Yak himself! Take care, and if you see any vole, be sure to grab it up for me! (I’ll have my humans send you really cute photos of me as payment!)

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

17

Sgt Stripes: The Male Purrspective

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Hi folks, it’s Sergeant Stripes!  Last week, you all heard a very interesting story from my new housemate Onyx.  I’m here now to offer my purrspective.  Let me begin by saying I’m very flattered, but I really was just trying to be nice to both my new housemates.  I’m not madly in love with anyone. 

For starters, Onyx stole my room.  Mom explained that it’s because she’s a poor kitty with no place else to go, so we have to be nice, but I used to have four bedrooms, and now I’m down to two, maybe three.  It depends on whether you count the one Mom shares with me, since I also have to share it with Gypsy now.  And don’t get me wrong, she’s a nice kitty… when she’s not hissing and swiping at me for getting too close to her.  I think she might still be holding how we met against me.  

I didn’t mean to scare anyone, I just really like playing pounce.  And Onyx and Gypsy were playing along too, because their eyes got really huge and they tried to run away, just like they were actually prey!  Or, uh, that’s what I thought.  Mom told me they were actually scared I was trying to eat them.  Like I would forget the most important house rule (No eating family members.).  Um, again.  [Editor’s Note: This is something of a recurring problem for Sarge.  Poor George still has nightmares. Sometimes he has trouble editing the pictures.]  

But anyway, that’s why I was trying to make up for it by being extra nice to the two new kitties!  Because even if I’m not entirely sure why they have to get my bedrooms (And my litter box.  And my humans.  And my kibble!), I know we need to be good hosts.  So I started spending more time with both of the new arrivals.  I didn’t think Onyx would take it the way she did, especially after she got so mad when I tried to share her food (that’s why I stopped spending time with her).  I didn’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings.  

That’s why I’ve decided that Onyx and Gypsy should both be allowed to spend  as much time as they want with me!  I’m bigger than both of them, so if they want to, they can both cuddle with me at the same time.  I’m not sure about romance just yet, but I do want to make friends.  Right now, nobody wants to play pounce with me.  And Gypsy doesn’t always share my cool Christmas blankie with me.  But I figure we can all be friends, we just got off on the wrong paw.  

Mom says that they were more territorial because they didn’t have four bedrooms where they came from.  Actually, Gypsy didn’t even have one.  So I guess I get why I have to share.  I can’t even really use all four bedrooms at once, so it’s not that big a deal.  Although I wouldn’t have minded a housewarming vole.  I figure if I’m extra nice and we all get along, then they won’t mind sharing with me, and I can get my beds back.  Even if I don’t, two beds isn’t really a bad deal for two new playmates!  

And Gypsy can be a really fun playmate.  Even when we’re not playing pounce, we do have a lot of common interests, like shredding toilet paper.  She found a roll that the humans left out, and it was just like when I first got here–they still haven’t gotten all the shreds picked up!  She also has really good taste in kibble.  She also likes wet food though, which I think is kind of weird.  But it does mean that I get treats while she gets her wet food!  

Onyx has been tougher to get close to.  She got really hung up over when I shared her treats.  It wasn’t my fault she didn’t get any, she was just too slow!  …I guess I should say sorry about that one.  I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings Onyx, and I agree that creamy dairy treats, fluffy blankets, and jingly balls are the best.  I hope you’ll come out and play with us soon, and you can bat around my jingly silvervine ball!  It’s awesome.  Then all three of us could hang out, and that would be awesome, too.  

23

Onyx: A Love Story Gone Wrong

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Hello! 

It’s everyone’s favorite black cat, Onyx. And I have awful news! If you didn’t know, my human moved herself, both mini humans, and Angel, Gypsy, and myself in with her mom (AKA my editor) and her brother (AKA my purrsonal chef). And while we sadly were split from Thunder, we got to make friends with all of the northern kitties! One of whom is Sgt Stripes (although my human calls him Big Kitty). When we moved in, I was scared because the big human my person lived with was loud and mean. So when I met Sgt Stripes, I was not very nice (he wanted to play “Pounce”. As in, all 14 pounds of him pounced on all 6 pounds of me. I thought he was hunting me. I was terrified). So I hissed and hid under the bed from him (turns out, he can fit under the bed). And then the mini blonde human started feeding him MY treats. And MY kibble. It was awful! But still, he decided I was his uptown cat. And he was in love with me. 

So here I am, getting all of this attention, some snuggles, love, and it’s great! (Or, at least, when Stripes wasn’t stealing my food, it was great.) And I’m thinking I could get used to this, I’m not ready to get married or share my sunspot, but yeah, Sgt Stripes is cool and I’ll keep him around. When out of nowhere, Gypsy moves upstairs (where Sarge and I were coexisting). Now, Gypsy and I have a history. She forced me into a corner and was terrorizing me when she moved in with us. So I’m not her biggest fan. But apparently, Angel was eating all of her food downstairs, so she had to come upstairs to rehabilitate, as she looked starved. I was not happy. But Gypsy mostly stayed in my editor’s room, so I figured I could make it work. I could stay in my human’s room or the bathroom and ignore Gypsy. 

Apparently before all of the uptown cats moved in, Sgt Stripes reigned supreme over the whole upstairs, including our editor’s room. So Gypsy (at about 3 pounds) forced him out. But then he kept hearing from the humans that “he could sit on her and crush her” and “he shouldn’t let her force him out of his spot”. So Sgt Stripes gradually started sitting with Gypsy. First in the room, then on the bed with her. And before long, he was courting her! 

To Sgt Stripe’s credit, at first he tried to stay with me while remaining cordial with Gypsy. But with me, it’s either all or nothing. So then he tried to be friends. But I don’t do friends. I tried that with Thunder, and she moved away. My human says I have antisocial purrsonality disorder, but I disagree. I just know my worth. So then, Sarge started totally ignoring me for Gypsy! I couldn’t believe it! I’m the prettier, smarter, better of the two. But I guess we all have to make our own mistakes. 

And to top this off, he dumped me right before Valentine’s Day, and he’s still eating my treats and kibble! Everyone knows that my favorite treats are the Temptations creamy dairy or the beef. So instead of eating his favorite, backyard BBQ or lobster, Sarge steals my one joy in life. He also tries to steal my human on her work from home days! Even when she gets up in the morning, he runs right up to her, wanting jaw and tummy rubs. And Gypsy keeps trying to demand food from my human! They have no respect what-so-ever. And it’s not like they would starve for either food or attention. My editor and chef can take care of them, probably better than my human can! 

So now I’m left broken hearted, with no friends and no cats to hang out with, all because Gypsy had to come upstairs and ruin everything. It’s hard to blame Sgt Stripes; he’s a big, adorable, loveable goofball. And while he is responsible for his own actions, I’m sure he was taken back by my beauty (and the tastiness of my treats! It’ll take a while for me to forgive him for that one). 

Now, my human had said that this was my fault, but we all know that’s not true. I was so betrayed. My boyfriend left me for my arch-rival! All because I hissed and hid from him (but let’s be real, he was terrifying when he played Pounce. I feared for my life)! Everyone says he’s the sweetest cat ever and would never hurt a fly, but if he’s capable of stealing my kibble, who knows what else he was capable of! 

And that concludes my horrible, awful, truly terrible love tale. Take it from me, relationships are just not worth it. Instead of a companion, get yourself some creamy dairy treats, a fluffy blanket, and a jingly ball to bat around. You can’t go wrong with that! To Gypsy and Sgt Stripes, I hope you’re both happy, but that I get the best sunspots. And to all of my readers, have a wonderful Valentine’s Day, and don’t forget to adore all black cats you come across!

We want to thank everyone for the beautiful words and thoughts you’ve been sending us regarding Kommando Kitty. And especially Ingrid Rickmar for the beautiful badge at the upper right and Ms. Ellen for the wonderful card.

14

The RHCCC: Mousing School

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4 Ways To Get Into 'Back To School' Mode With Your Cat - CatTime

When we introduced the Real House Cats of Crabapple Cove, you might recall that Daphne works on the docks. She is a crew chief in charge of vermin control.

The Maine Coon Cat

Crabapple Cove is a hot tourist destination, and every summer the businesses hire extra staff to deal with the crowds. The owners all like to have at least a couple of mousers on staff as a guard against anything stealing the food or scaring the guests. It was a great job for kids on summer break.

Daphne noticed that a lot of the young cats didn’t last long on the job. When she asked around, she found out that they really didn’t understand what the job of mouser entailed. Sensing an opportunity, she decided to open a small mouser school at her house. Her first class had four students. It didn’t take long to find the issues.

Teacher Cat (@realteachercat) | Twitter

Daphne: Hi! I’m Daphne. Welcome to Mousing 101. Please introduce yourselves and tell us why you’re here.

Tyler: My mom said I had to get a summer job.

Mindy: Molly and I want to work on the docks. It’s the best place to meet cute guys when they first get here.

Molly (giggling): Yeah. Less competition than in town.

26 Funny Mafia Cat Pictures. | Cat island, Cat island japan, Cat pics

Daphne: It’s hard work on the docks. Have either of you two moused before?

Mindy and Molly looked at each other.

Mindy: Isn’t that why we’re here?

Molly: My mom doesn’t let mice in our house. She says they’re disgusting.

Daphne looked at the final young cat.

Joseph: I think that all cats should know how to mouse, and I never had a chance to learn.

Why Does My Cat Pounce?

Daphne: Okay, class. First, I’ll demonstrate the proper form. You listen carefully. When you think you hear something, get into your pounce stance and wait patiently. Don’t move until you see the target and think you have a good jump on it. You don’t want to spend a lot of energy running around if you don’t have to.

Daphne crouched into the correct position and sat. 

Daphne: Okay, everyone try the position.

Exercise for your cat - PDSA

The young cats mimicked her crouch. Daphne stood in front and looked at them. She didn’t say anything. A few seconds passed.

Molly: How long do we have to sit like this? It’s boring.

Daphne: You have to wait until the mouse appears.

Molly: You didn’t say anything about waiting for a mouse.

Daphne sighed.

What to Do When Your Cat Brings You a 'Gift'

Daphne: Okay. It looks like everyone gets the concept. I’m going to release four mice somewhere in the room. You need to listen for one of them, then practice your pounce. Do NOT hurt the mouse. We are practicing.

Tyler: I can’t eat my mouse? Why should I bother catching it?

Daphne: These are special mice who have been trained to help teach you. They’re not a snack.

Mindy: Thank goodness. I don’t like the taste of mice.

Lonely Cat On The Dock - Stock Video | Motion Array

Joseph: Are you sure you want to work on the dock? I don’t think they practice catch-and-release with what they find.

Mindy: I only want to work there until I find a boyfriend.

Joseph: Maybe you can get a job sitting there looking pretty. That way they won’t miss you when you quit.

Daphne: All right. I released the mice behind the walls. Everyone find a mouse.

The young cats stalked around the room listening carefully. One by one, they found a mouse to concentrate on. Each cat sat patiently waiting for their mouse to appear. Joseph pounced first and came up with the mouse in his mouth.

Funny Cat and Mouse Videos | Tom and Jerry Real Life Best funny - YouTube

Daphne: Excellent form! You’re a natural. You can let your mouse go.

Joseph released the mouse and thanked Daphne. He went to sit on the sofa and wait for the other cats. Molly was the next one with a mouse. She dropped it, and held it with her paw.

Daphne: Pawsome! You’ll be fine working as a mouser.

Molly joined Joseph on the sofa just as Mindy came up with her mouse. As soon as Mindy tasted the mouse, she dropped it and cried.

Mindy: Eww! That’s disgusting! How can you cats stand to have those in your mouths.  Blech!!

A man was mowing his front yard when his attractive, blonde, female neighbor came out of the house and went str… | Laughing cat, Laughing animals, Laughing pictures

Daphne started laughing. The other cats joined in.

Daphne: Mindy, I’m afraid you’re going to have to find a different line of work. You are definitely not cut out to be a mouser.

Mindy: Fine. This is revolting. I’m don’t want to date any cat that’s impressed by this.

karen (Woodside, NY)'s review of I Could Pee On This: And Other Poems By Cats

Mindy jumped up on the sofa to watch Tyler. He seemed to be having trouble locating his mouse. Suddenly, the mouse ran out past him. Tyler took off after the mouse only to lose him in a corner. Tyler waited a while longer, but the mouse didn’t reappear.

Tyler: This is stupid. I’m not going to wait all day for some stupid mouse to come out. I’ll find a job doing something else.

Mindy: Me too. Let’s get out of here.

Tyler and Mindy left together.

PsBattle: Two cats walking side by side | Cute cats, Pretty cats, Pets

Daphne: Molly and Joseph, you did excellent work today. I’d like to invite you both back next week for a follow-up lesson in stalking.

Both cats nodded their heads. They left together talking excitedly about how much more fun it was to catch a mouse than they thought it was going to be.

Two Cats Cuddle While Walking Together and the Internet Can't Handle It

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

 

 

20

Cat Forum: New Year’s Resolutions

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Image result for cat happy new year

Greetings fellow felines and assorted others. Snoops and Kommando Kitty here. The is our first opportunity to tell you about our New Year’s resolutions. We decided to make joint resolutions this year. So, here they are:

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We resolve not to fight so much.

Kommando: You mean you won’t lick my neck only to chomp on it?

Snoops: I have to make sure it’s clean. And it’s not like I can actually get to the skin through all that thick fur. Besides, I think it’s more directed at you hiding out and then attacking me.

Kommando: I do not hide out.

Image result for cat pouncing

Snoops: What do you call running in from another room or behind a box?

Kommando: Strategic placement of my body.

Snoops: Grrr.

Image result for cat fighting over food meme

We resolve not to eat each other’s food.

Kommando: Yeah. No more snarfing my canned food.

Snoops: I do not snarf your food.

Kommando: I’ve seen you do it.

Snoops: I don’t touch your food until you’ve left the room. Besides you do the same thing.

Image result for cat fighting over food meme

Kommando: I still think you get more than your share.

Snoops: What about you? I wait at the kibble dish or the water fountain while someone fills it, and as soon as you hear the sound of them being refilled you run in and push me out of the way.

Kommando: I’m just trying to protect you from being poisoned. You should thank me.

Snoops: Thank you? Mom is not going to poison us. You’re just being rude.

Image result for cats cuddling people

We resolve not to fight over Mom.

Snoops: Meaning that you will not step on me or push me out of the way to get next to Mom.

Kommando: She’s MY human.

Snoops: She belongs to both of us.

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Kommando: Nope. Don’t you remember? Your humans were Dad and the blond girl. My humans were Mom and blondie’s brother. It was all Kommando, all the time for Mom. You can’t blame me because you ran out of humans and mine are both still here.

Snoops: That’s just mean. Mom said that she’s the primary human for both of us.

Kommando: It doesn’t mean that I don’t get first cuddles.

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Snoops: Lucky Mom goes out of her way to make sure I get enough pets and cuddles.

Kommando: Grrr.

Snoops: Was there anything else?

Kommando: No. I think apart from those things, we’re pretty much perfect.

Snoops: I agree. Let’s take a nap.

Kommando: Sounds good to me.

All pictures (except us) courtesy of Google Images

18

Cat TV – Part 2

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So far – Josie and Kenny’s TV have gone out, and the technician won’t be available for at least three days. They are devastated, but Mom and Dad aren’t very sympathetic.

Josie: Mooom, I’m bored.

Mom: Did you do your homework?

Josie: Yes. Now I’m bored.

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Mom: Read a book.

Josie: I don’t have any.

Mom: Go to the library.

Josie: Yuck! What if someone sees me?

Mom: What if they do?

Josie (sighing): Mom, you’re impossible.

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Kenny: I’m bored.

Mom: I don’t suppose you have anything else to do either.

Kenny: Nope.

Mom: Then clean your rooms.

They look at her and roll their eyes. She doesn’t move. They stomp off to their rooms. At dinner:

Dad: You two look gloomy. Did you have a bad day?

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Kenny: We didn’t have anything to do, so Mom made us clean our rooms.

Dad: Oh, that is a crisis.

Kenny and Josie glare at him.

Mom: Well, tomorrow you can go visit Grandma. I’m sure she has something for you to do.

Josie: It has to be better than today.

The next day, they walk over to Grandma’s house. She’s outside getting ready to pounce on something. Josie and Kenny run up to her.

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Josie: Hi Grandma! Mom sent us over here because we’re bored. Do you have a TV we can watch?

Grandma: Goodness, no. What a waste of time. Wouldn’t you two rather run around the yard?

Josie: No TV?

Grandma: Josie, we’re cats. Cats don’t watch TV.

Josie: All of our friends do.

Grandma: When did you pick up that nasty human habit? Doesn’t it interfere with your running around and climbing things?

Kenny: Why would we do that?

Grandma: That’s what real cats do.

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Josie: Next thing you know, she going to tell us we should be out chasing mice and pouncing on bugs.

Grandma: Exactly! Those are excellent cat skills. Look over there; the bush is moving. Let’s see who can pounce the fastest.

The kittens thought it was silly, but since it was Grandma they played along. To their surprise, she was faster by far. She jumped at the bush, but the bird got away.

Kenny: Wow, Grandma! You can run a lot faster than we can.

Grandma: That’s because I’ve been running since I was a kitten. Now, see if you can catch me.

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Grandma took off with Kenny close behind. She got to the maple tree and ran up the side to the first branch. Kenny stood under her.

Kenny: No fair! How can I catch you up there?

Grandma: The same way I got here. Climb the tree.

Kenny: How do I get down.?

Grandma: It isn’t very high. Jump off.

Kenny: Wow! This is fun. Can you show us how to do all this old-fashioned stuff?

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They had so much fun that it was time to go home before they realized it.

Josie: Thank you, Grandma. That was great.

Grandma: I had a lot of fun too. But if you’re going to watch TV, watch Cat TV. That human stuff will rot your mind.

Josie: What’s Cat TV?

Grandma: If you have to be inside, watch what’s out the window. You’ll see all kinds of interesting things. You can practice your running and pouncing in your head.

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Josie and Kenny ran home for dinner.

Dad: Did you have fun at Grandma’s?

Kenny: It was pawsome! She taught us all the things she learned when she was a kitten. We ran around and tried to kill bugs and climbed trees.

Dad: That does sound like fun. You should be happy. The TV technician comes tomorrow. You should have TV by nighttime.

Kenny: That’s OK. We’re going to watch Cat TV instead.

Josie nodded. Their parents were astounded.

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All pictures courtesy of Google Images