Tag Archives: food

20

Cats in the Doghouse

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Hi everybody! It’s me, Onyx. The beautiful black house panther. I’ve been having a great time since they opened up the house a couple of weeks below. We all now have full run of the house. No more upstairs cats and downstairs cats. It’s just cats. I love it. I can go where I want, when I want. I”m still Blondie’s therapy cat, but now I can get treats downstairs from Mom too.

Sgt Stripes is enjoying the freedom too. He’s upstairs part of the time and downstairs part of the time. He particularly loves the downstairs windows. Snoops is upstairs part of the time now. The only ones that aren’t taking advantage of the extra space are Gypsy and Angel. Gypsy stays upstairs and Angel stays downstairs. Hopefully they’ll be moving around soon.

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Mom isn’t too sure about the new arrangement. We cats are adapting to each other at our own pace, but there have been a few hiccups. I’ll tell you about a few of them.

The Crime: Hissing at Sgt Stripes whenever he comes near.

The Criminal: Angel.

The Excuse: I want to make sure he doesn’t attack me or try to play pounce with me.

The Crime: Playing pounce on unsuspecting cats

The Criminal: Sgt Stripes

The Excuse: I just want someone to place with. I can’t believe I’m living with four other cats and no one wants to play with me.

The Crime: Growling at Sgt Stripes whenever he comes near.

The Criminal: Snoops

The Excuse: I will never forgive him for scaring Kommando Kitty by running after her and pouncing

The Crime: Chewing through a bag of treats and opening a canister of treats

The Criminal: Onyx

The Excuse: I was hungry and those are my favorite thing to eat.

The Crime: Cornering Snoops on the litter box.

The Criminal: Gypsy

The Excuse: I was just watching. I wasn’t going to touch her.

The Crime: Eating Snoops wet food if Snoops saves some for later.

The Criminal: Angel.

The Excuse: I want to make sure nothing is wasted.

The Crime: Licking everyone’s wet food before the owner can eat it.

The Criminal: Sgt Stripes

The Excuse: I keep hoping I’ll find some that I like.

The Crime: Hiding in rooms that are normally closed off (e.g., the front porch and the study).

The Criminal: Snoops

The Excuse: I need peace and quiet. No matter where I go, there’s another cat.

The Crime: Knocking things off the shelves and dressers

The Criminal: Gypsy

The Excuse: I’m trying to make the house less cluttered.

Coming Next Week: The Great Debate:            

16

Dear Tabby: Cheeseland’s Favorite Advice Columnist

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Sgt Stripes here. I was talking to my cousin the other day about my new job as a writer on the blog. She said that she writes a blog too. She said that she gives advice to other kitties. She said that she had even posted here one time. I was looking through the archives, and she was right. My cousin is Dear Tabby! You can see her earlier work here.

I asked her to answer whether she’d like to answer some questions for our readers. She said that she would be happy to help. She offered to post some recent answers here so you’d know the kind of thing she’s good at.

Here's how your cat experiences the world

Dear Tabby – I’m a 4-year-old lady cat; I would describe myself as pretty shy. I spend most of my time watching Cat TV and chasing the red dot. My human decided that I needed a playmate. I don’t really understand why. I thought that we had a pretty good thing going, Last week, she brought home a kitten. Why? I have no idea. The little guy is pretty cute, but all he does is run around. His favorite game is Pounce. I do not want to be pounced upon. How do I get him to leave me alone? Alone by Choice

Stalking And Pouncing In Cats: Reasons And Solutions, 59% OFF

Dear Alone – Have you thought about pouncing back? At this point, you are probably bigger than he is. Perhaps he won’t be so enthusiastic when he is the pounce-ee rather than the pouncer.

How to Make Your Kitten and Cat Become Friends | Everypaw

Dear Tabby – I am a stay-at-home mom with three adorable kittens. There are a few of us moms who have gotten close and we like to get together to let the kittens play. We are also available to kitten-sit if someone has an appointment or whatever. The issue is our neighbor. I’ll call her Eve. She works outside the home which is fine. However, whenever she has an issue with childcare, Eve just drops her kitten off with one of us without any notice. She says, “You’re home anyway. What’s one more kitten.?” That’s true, but she takes it for granted that we don’t mind and never offers anything in return or payment. We are starting to resent her attitude. How do we tell her nicely that we’d be happy to help in an emergency but we don’t want to be her back-up daycare? Stressed Out Mom

Kittens and Their Development - FOUR PAWS International - Animal Welfare Organisation

Dear Stressed Out – Have any of you ladies learned the word “no”?  You need to explain that your days are not just filled with sharing a saucer of cream and letting the kittens play. If this situation is occurring regularly, perhaps you could help her find more reliable childcare.

Does your dog or cat like to lounge in the sun? | NutriSource Pet Foods

Dear Tabby – I share a home with two other cats. We get along well enough except for one small issue. Where we live, it’s pretty gloomy during the winter with a lot of overcast skies. When spring finally arrives, it’s a battle for the good sun puddles. The prime spot shifts during the day. We’re pretty much okay with whoever gets there first having the spot. We are arguing over whether the cat that claims the spot should get to keep it if they get up for a kibble break. What is the proper etiquette? Sun Lover

188 Cats Who Love Sun More Than Anything | Bored Panda

Dear Lover – I recommend you get a timer. When the lucky kitty gets up, they turn on the timer. If they get back before the timer goes off, they get to keep the spot. Of course, this relies on you all agreeing to how long the break should be. I would advise something in the neighborhood of how long you usually spend at the litter box. Or you could find a larger sun puddle.

Can Cats Eat Carrots?

Dear Tabby – My wonderful boyfriend was told by the doctor that he needs to drop a couple of pounds. So he has started a new food. It seems to be giving him stomach issues. The litter box smells awful. I’m getting nauseated by the smells he’s passing. Should I tell him? Stinky Guy’s Girl

What's That Smell? - Perth Cat Hospital

Dear Girl – I imagine that he is aware of the issue. You can either stay someplace else until his body adapts or start wearing a gas mask.

Sgt Stripes here again. I can’t believe my cousin is so good at this. Does anyone have a question for her?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

19

Snoops and Sarge Look for the Perfect Protein

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Sgt Stripes: Hey, Snoops! I need to ask you a question.

Snoops: I suppose. What’s up?

Sgt Stripes: I really like the person you call Blondie. But I think she might be lying to me.

Snoops: She is a human. You can’t really trust them.

Sgt Stripes: Yeah. I have kinda noticed that. Anyway, do you think they’re ever going to get me a vole?

Snoops: Why do you want a vole?

Sgt Stripes: They were the tastiest treats when I lived outside. But they are NEVER on the menu here.

Snoops: That’s true. I’ve never had one. What is it exactly?

Sgt Stripes: It’s like a larger, plumper mouse.

Snoops: Ooh. That does sound delicious. We have some pretty big mice around here when the seasons change.

Sgt Stripes: I’ve only seen a couple upstairs.

Snoops: Yeah. We don’t have as many as we used to. Kommando and I were a great team. She’d flush them out, and I’d finish the job.

Sgt Stripes: Anyway, Blondie said that she would talk to the other humans and get vole on the menu. But it never happens. Do you think she’s lying?

Snoops: I don’t think she’s lying exactly. I think she doesn’t want to disappoint you.

Sgt Stripes: That means no voles, right?

Snoops: Unfortunately, not.

Sgt Stripes: Rats!

Snoops: We don’t have any of those either.

Sgt Stripes: Hmm. Well I need protein to survive. What are my other options?

Snoops: Mom said you don’t like people food.

Sgt Stripes: You mean food made from humans? That sounds disgusting!

Snoops: No, silly. The food that humans eat.

Sgt Stripes: Well. They gave me some goose. That wasn’t bad. But I didn’t like the chicken they gave me.

Snoops: You need to be careful with food that our human brother cooks. It usually is mixed in with other weird stuff like tomatoes or beans. It’s really sad how badly he can mangle a chicken. He makes something called tikka masala. You can’t even tell it used to be chicken.

Sgt Stripes: He brings leftovers upstairs sometimes. They always seem to have a lot of beans or noodles or something burying the meat. Sometimes there isn’t even any meat.

Snoops: I know. It’s appalling, isn’t it? Do you like fish?

Sgt Stripes: I’m not sure. What’s a fish?

Snoops: They swim in water. They are pretty tasty.

Sgt Stripes: Maybe Blondie could get me one of those. I’d be willing to try it.

Snoops: Or maybe you’d like turkey. They only get the full turkey once a year, but you can get it from the store in slices. It’s pretty yummy. But my very favorite from the store is ham.

Sgt Stripes: What’s a ham?

Snoops: I’m not really sure. But you can get it in slices or a big hunk. I like the slices best. It’s the only edible part when the humans get pizza. I don’t get it very often. It’s like a treat.

Sgt Stripes: Before I moved into the house, I got to share some ice cream. It was extremely delicious. I haven’t seen any since. Do they still have that?

Snoops: They only eat that in the hot weather. But that’s coming up. Make sure you ask for it. The humans are okay with sharing, but they don’t always think about it.

Sgt Stripes: Okay. I want to try ham, turkey, fish, and ice cream. Thanks, Snoops! You were a lot of help. This might even make up for no voles.

Snoops: Glad to help. Now let me get back to my sun puddle.

28

Gypsy Katt: Front and Center

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Hello. I’d like to introduce myself. My name is Gypsy Katt. I go by Gypsy, although Mom has called me Gypsy Rose a few times. I moved here with my other human Mom and the two little humans. Originally, I was staying in the sun room with my sister Angel. But Angel kept eating all of the food and I lost a lot of weight.

The humans got worried and decided to bring me upstairs to live with Onyx (my other sister) and Sgt Stripes. At my other house, I was kept separate from the other kitties because they thought I was too territorial. Here I can roam around the entire floor. Sgt Stripes and I get into the occasional tiff, but nothing major.

I really like it here. There are four adult beds plus two toddler beds and only three cats. Nobody tries to eat my food. Mom (the one who lived here before) lets me sleep with her at night. Sgt Stripes and I share the kibble bowl and fountain. Onyx kinda keeps to herself. This is the best place I’ve ever been.

When I moved in, there were two downstairs cats: Snoops and Kommando Kitty. As you know, Kommando went over the Rainbow Bridge last month. Apparently, the original set-up was the Snoops bonded to the older male human, and Kommando bonded with Mom. Now, unfortunately, the older male human and Kommando are gone. Snoops is now Senior Cat in the house, so all the hmans give her cuddles and pets. But Mom’s pretty sad about what happened to Kommando.

So I decided that since I don’t have a human, and she doesn’t have a cat, I should apply for the position of primary cat to Mom. I checked with my old Mom, and she said that she was pretty bonded with Onyx. So I asked Snoops how I would go about becoming Mom’s new cat. (Don’t worry about Sgt Stripes; he’s connected with the other male human here – his human brother. And Angel’s buddies with the little humans.)

Snoops wasn’t really sure how humans and cats bonded; it just seemed to happen. But she gave me some questions to see if it might be a good fit.

What is the #1 house rule? I know this one! No eating family members. Apparently this also applies to using teeth when playing.

How much time each day do you spend cuddling with your current human? I never really had my own human. I like to lie next to Mom when she’s reading in bed or using her computer. I don’t have much experience as a lap cat, but I’m trying to get used to it.

How do you feel about human snuggles and hugs? Umm. I wasn’t really hugged before. It seemed a little uncomfortable the first time I was hugged. Mom called it “kitty cuddles”. I wasn’t really a fan. I could probably learn to live with it.

 

What time does your day usually start? I like getting up with the sun. Mom usually gets up at 6a for work, so I’m trying to adapt to that. It’s weird, though. Apparently, there are days when she doesn’t have to work and sleeps later. I think I have a better alarm system. My tummy wants food at the same time every day. We’re working on a compromise.

When do you sleep at night? I really love having a regular bed. I go to sleep when Mom goes to sleep. She has a tummy warmer (she calls it a bed warmer). Sgt Stripes and I love the tummy warmer at night.. I usually don’t move much at night.

What kinds of human food do you like? I don’t think I’ve had human food. But I really like cat food with fish and chicken, so I would probably like that.

Why do you think you’re the best candidate for this job? I’ve never really had a human, so I don’t have any bad habits to break. I think I could get better at the cuddling stuff with some practice. There’s a human with no cat and a cat with no human. It just makes sense.

Snoops said that she would present my answers to Mom and let me know what she says. Keep your fingers crossed for me,

17

Sgt Stripes: The Male Purrspective

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Hi folks, it’s Sergeant Stripes!  Last week, you all heard a very interesting story from my new housemate Onyx.  I’m here now to offer my purrspective.  Let me begin by saying I’m very flattered, but I really was just trying to be nice to both my new housemates.  I’m not madly in love with anyone. 

For starters, Onyx stole my room.  Mom explained that it’s because she’s a poor kitty with no place else to go, so we have to be nice, but I used to have four bedrooms, and now I’m down to two, maybe three.  It depends on whether you count the one Mom shares with me, since I also have to share it with Gypsy now.  And don’t get me wrong, she’s a nice kitty… when she’s not hissing and swiping at me for getting too close to her.  I think she might still be holding how we met against me.  

I didn’t mean to scare anyone, I just really like playing pounce.  And Onyx and Gypsy were playing along too, because their eyes got really huge and they tried to run away, just like they were actually prey!  Or, uh, that’s what I thought.  Mom told me they were actually scared I was trying to eat them.  Like I would forget the most important house rule (No eating family members.).  Um, again.  [Editor’s Note: This is something of a recurring problem for Sarge.  Poor George still has nightmares. Sometimes he has trouble editing the pictures.]  

But anyway, that’s why I was trying to make up for it by being extra nice to the two new kitties!  Because even if I’m not entirely sure why they have to get my bedrooms (And my litter box.  And my humans.  And my kibble!), I know we need to be good hosts.  So I started spending more time with both of the new arrivals.  I didn’t think Onyx would take it the way she did, especially after she got so mad when I tried to share her food (that’s why I stopped spending time with her).  I didn’t mean to hurt anyone’s feelings.  

That’s why I’ve decided that Onyx and Gypsy should both be allowed to spend  as much time as they want with me!  I’m bigger than both of them, so if they want to, they can both cuddle with me at the same time.  I’m not sure about romance just yet, but I do want to make friends.  Right now, nobody wants to play pounce with me.  And Gypsy doesn’t always share my cool Christmas blankie with me.  But I figure we can all be friends, we just got off on the wrong paw.  

Mom says that they were more territorial because they didn’t have four bedrooms where they came from.  Actually, Gypsy didn’t even have one.  So I guess I get why I have to share.  I can’t even really use all four bedrooms at once, so it’s not that big a deal.  Although I wouldn’t have minded a housewarming vole.  I figure if I’m extra nice and we all get along, then they won’t mind sharing with me, and I can get my beds back.  Even if I don’t, two beds isn’t really a bad deal for two new playmates!  

And Gypsy can be a really fun playmate.  Even when we’re not playing pounce, we do have a lot of common interests, like shredding toilet paper.  She found a roll that the humans left out, and it was just like when I first got here–they still haven’t gotten all the shreds picked up!  She also has really good taste in kibble.  She also likes wet food though, which I think is kind of weird.  But it does mean that I get treats while she gets her wet food!  

Onyx has been tougher to get close to.  She got really hung up over when I shared her treats.  It wasn’t my fault she didn’t get any, she was just too slow!  …I guess I should say sorry about that one.  I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings Onyx, and I agree that creamy dairy treats, fluffy blankets, and jingly balls are the best.  I hope you’ll come out and play with us soon, and you can bat around my jingly silvervine ball!  It’s awesome.  Then all three of us could hang out, and that would be awesome, too.  

14

Scritch, Scritch, Scritch – It’s Dry Skin Season

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If you are like us and live in the Northern Hemisphere, it’s winter. And in addition to being cold, winter is full of dry air. Also, the same process that keeps us warm usually dries out the air. As a result, a lot of us are scratching. And scratching is not good for us, It irritates our skin and can lead to infection.

How Do You Know You Have Dry Skin?

  • Skin flakes on your fur (your human may say you look like you have dandruff)
  • Bald spots (if the scratching gets out of hand and you pull out some fur)
  • Scabs or scaly spots
  • Constant need to groom and/or scratch
  • Itching

How to Bathe Your Cat in 5 Easy Steps - Allivet Pet Care Blog

What Can You Do?

  • Hot Towel – Soak a towel in hot water. Squeeze it out thoroughly and wrap yourself in it. (We think you’re going to need your human to help with this one. Actually, a human helper would be useful for most of these.) Five minutes wrapped up will soothe the irritation and refresh the dry kin.
  • Oatmeal Bath – Not gonna lie. This one sounds awful to us. But it’s all over Mr. Google, so apparently it works. Have your human use a food processor to break down the oats, then mix them with water. How much water you depends on whether you want a paste for one or two spots or a full immersion bath. The oatmeal needs to stay in contact with the skin for at least ten minutes.
  • Coconut Oil – One way to use coconut oil is to spread it on your skin. If you’d prefer, you can add one teaspoon of coconut oil in your food daily. This remedy is contingent on you not hating the taste of coconut oil. It is full of antioxidants. Also keep in mind that coconut oil is a natural laxative.

The 10 Best Cat Brushes of 2024, Tested and Reviewed

  • Brushing – Hopefully, you are being brushed regularly. Brushing is an excellent way to spread the oil from your skin through your fur and keep you glossy and gorgeous. If you are starting your brushing program in the midst of dry skin, be gentle. Brushing may further irritate sensitive skin if done too aggressively.
  • Eat Wet Food – If all you are eating is kibble, you may not have enough moisture in your diet for optimal skin health. Fun fact: Tasty little mousies are 70-80% moisture; kibble is only 10% moisture. Look for foods that have lots of protein.
  • Talk to your human about using a humidifier. They may need to add extra moisture to the air to keep you skin glowing. Remember – A healthy cat is a happy cat.

Tips for Keeping Your Cat Relaxed - NYC Pet

  • CBD-Rich Hemp Oils – Don’t worry, this part of the hemp plant won’t make you high. But some cats swear by its effectiveness in treating dry, itchy skin. It also has the added benefits of being an anti-inflammatory, appetite stimulant, energy stimulant, and pain/anxiety reliever. Some of these products haven’t been around for an extremely long time, so make sure you’re getting the real thing without too many additives.
  • Lower Stress – The more humans study stress, the worse stress sounds. Stress can lead to our skin becoming itchy and dry (doubly bad in this dry season). Impress on your humans the need to keep your lives stress-free.
  • Address Allergies – If you have allergies year round, it is probably not the dry air. Your human should look at the food you’re eating (your vet can help with that). Or if you were fine until until your human stated using a new cleaning product, that may be the problem. Ask your human to avoid fragrances and harsh chemicals when they clean. Our sense of smell is 40x stronger than theiirs, so they might not even really they’re making the place stink Besides, we’re closer to the floor where a lot of the cleaning takes place.

Itchy Cat? Here's Why Your Cat's Scratching So Much | BeChewy

One Final Note

If the scratching doesn’t go away with the cold weather, it may be related to something a little more serious. The following conditions can all cause dry, itchy skin:

  • Parasites like fleas, mites, and ringworm
  • Fungal and bacterial infections
  • Hyperthyroidism
  • Diabetes

How to Keep Your Cat Safe and Warm in Winter - Hastings Veterinary Hospital

We are wishing you all a happy, non-itchy rest of the season. We’re off to Amazon to find humidifiers for cats. There are a lot of choices, so Mom might have to buy several.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

20

Sgt Stripes: One Year and Going Strong

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Hi, everyone! It’s me, Sgt Stripes. Today’s a big day. It’s my first Gotcha Day. It’s been exactly one year since I traded in my man-parts for a new home. (Technically, it wasn’t a trade. But Mom wouldn’t let me move into the house until I was neutered. Something about not wanting me to mark my territory.) I don’t really understand it. I mean the whole house is mine, right?

Anyway, it’s kinda hard to believe it’s been a whole year. I thought the lady cats would have adapted to me by now. I guess I shouldn’t have chased Kommando so hard that first time. Snoops still hasn’t forgiven me. She hisses whenever she sees me. Sheesh. Talk about holding a grudge. I usually have to take to the high ground to make sure I see her before she sees me.

I miss lying in the sun. But I don’t miss the snow and rain. It is so nice to have dry fur all the time. And I have a couple of really nice window seats. I can say good-bye to Mom when she leaves in the morning. (It’s pretty cool – If I meow when she leaves, she feels badly about leaving me.)

And I live snuggling! The place if full of blankets and quilts and soft spots to nap. It’s pretty much kitty nirvana around here.

I haven’t adapted to wet food. Mom’s tried every flavor she can find. But I really like kibble and treats. (Except fish flavored. I don’t like fish.) I definitely don’t see the appeal of human food. The stuff they’ve given me has been really disgusting. There isn’t much wildlife to catch. I’ve only seen a few mice. No chipmunks or voles. I love my water fountain. It is so much better than drinking out of puddles. And it’s never-ending. Even in the heat.

I have lots of toys too. I have laser pointers and little stuffed mice. But Mom is kind of particular. She has a couple of stuffed hedgehogs that look a LOT like my toys, but she says those are hers. She has a couple of other stuffed animals that are off limits too. It’s really not fair. But she doesn’t really touch my toys, so I guess she thinks it’s fair. Like she never touches my red dot or green dots. And she shares the computer.

I like to jump and climb. There’s an armoire that I can jump on so I’m even taller than my human brother. I use it to survey my domain. And I just discovered the highest place upstairs. There’s a partial wall in the bathroom that goes almost all the way up to the ceiling. (I have to crouch down when I’m up there, it’s so close.) It’s between the bathtub and the human litter box. Some rubber ducks live up there. The other morning, I discovered that I can push the ducks off and they land on Mom while she’s using the human litter box. It was so much fun! She was not amused.

I’m hoping I’m going to get full run of the house soon. I didn’t get to see the Christmas tree last year. I got a little one of my own. Mom wasn’t really excited when I tried to eat it. I can’t wait to see the real thing. I think I’d really like the presents too. And the windows downstairs are bigger too. Hopefully, by next year, I’ll have lots of new adventures to tell you about.   

13

A Gator’s Guide to Hurricane Season

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Featured Animals - American Alligator - CMZoo

The school year had just begun, and Suzy and Justine were going through their backpacks retrieving all the paperwork.

Justine: They need you to fill out the emergency contact forms, Mom.

Adele: What happened to last year’s forms?

Suzy: They expired.

Adele: I’ve given them the same information every year since you girls started school. Why can’t they just use that?

Suzy: Guess they want to make sure you and Dad haven’t killed each other over the summer.

Adele: What else?

Brave the Adventure at Gatorland: A Thrilling Experience in Florida - Truck That Beach

Suzy: They’re looking for parent volunteers for the lunch room

Adele: No chance.

Stan: Do they feed me?

Justine: You can chaperone the fall social.

Adele: Nope.

Justine: Want to bake cupcakes?

Adele: Next paper.

Cheeky alligator crashes students' picnic lunch - and then helps himself to sandwich - Mirror Online

Justine: Are we signing up for school lunches?

Adele: I wish. You girls hate the school lunches.

Suzy: It’s not our fault they serve so much mystery protein. They act like alligators will eat anything.

Stan: Uh. Actually, we’re kinda known for that.

Justine: It’s disgusting, Daddy. My body is a temple, and I want to take care of it.

Suzy: Yeah. If I’m going to eat snake, I want to know I’m eating snake. I don’t want it ground up looking like hamburger.

Adele: You two are princesses. No school lunches. What else?

Firefighter Fights To Keep Pizza, Cookie Loving Pet Gator He's Had For 50 Years - YouTube

Suzy: Our first fund-raiser is selling pizzas.

Adele: That doesn’t sound too bad. What are you raising money for?

Suzy: We need new mats in the gym. Apparently someone ate the old ones.

Justine: Eww. Probably had too many school lunches.

Suzy: Here’s the last thing.

American Alligator | Stone Zoo

Adele: A Gator’s Guide to Hurricanes? What’s that?

Justine: It’s part of the new school safety project.

Adele: It says that alligators can sense when a storm is approaching. When the barometric pressure drops, we can feel it in our skin.

Stan: That’s true. Granny always knows when a storm is coming.

Adele: Your mother swears it’s going to be a hurricane every time she gets an ache in one of her joints. Most of the time, it’s just a thunderstorm.

Stan: Those sensors probably don’t work as well inside.

Suzy: I think we should just watch the Weather Channel like everyone else.

Justine: Or the Weather Gator app.

Alligator crawls out of Mobile storm drain

Adele: It says that when we “sense” a bad storm coming, we should seek shelter someplace we can get into and out of easily. They recommend a storm drain.

Justine: It also recommends heading for the water since we can stay under it for a long time.

Suzy: I cannot stay under water. I’d drown.

Justine: You’re supposed to come up once in a while to breathe. Don’t be a doofus.

Adele: They also say the swamp is a good place to hide. We can submerge there.

Suzy: This all sounds really uncivilized. Why can’t we just head inland?

The Alligator in the Backyard: 5 Things to Include in Your Home Quote - Alliance Insurance

Adele: The brochure says that hurricane season is an excellent time to go house-hunting. Particularly if you live in a neighborhood near humans.

Justine: That’s probably true. Most of them leave.

Stan: I think they’d want their houses back after the storm.

Justine: Yeah. They do usually come back. I wonder why they think we would steal someone’s house.

Stan: Or their belongings.

Can Alligators Climb Trees? - Wildlife Informer

Suzy: I think that brochure is crazy. It also says that we can wait out the storm in the hole of a tree or a cave. It makes us sound like barbarians.

Adele: It does seem a little primitive. Where did you say it came from Justine?

Justine: Let me see what it says.

She flipped the brochure over and looked at the back.

Justine: I found the problem. It was written by a human “for the benefit of my reptilian companions.”

Suzy: I knew it! We alligators are much more civilized.

Nice' alligator dons tux, serves as ring bearer in central Pa. wedding - pennlive.com

We wish all our readers in hurricane territory the best during the storm season.

(Pictures courtesy of Google Images. )

14

Thunder Katt Presents: The Treacherous Thunder Tails

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Greetings friends and your non furry servants! It’s Thunder here. Michigan has been awful to live in lately. It’s had lots and lots of loud sky booms- between the fireworks and the storms, my sisters and I have been quivering messes! (Despite my name, I detest thunderstorms. My name comes from my strong verbal skills). I’ve written a piece based on a combination of “The Three Little Pigs” and “Goldilocks”. Please enjoy! 

The sky was blue and the sun was shining. It was a purrfect day to go out and play. Roco, Carrie and Lloyd were taking advantage of the abundance of sunspots and the warm breeze to chase mousies, pounce on rustling leaves, and lounge for naps. Things were going great, when all of the sudden…

Roco: “Do you hear that? What’s that low rumbling in the distance”? 

Carrie: “I don’t know, but our sun is going away, too”. 

Lloyd: “This stinks. I really wanted my fur to get orange highlights. Being brown all the time is so boring”. 

Carrie: “Well, let’s wait and see. Maybe it’s just a blip in the weather”. 

As soon as Carrie said that, rain began to fall. 

Roco: “Ugh! I’m getting wet! Now my tail is going to be all fluffy and my humans are going to make stupid comments”. 

Lloyd: “I see some places that look like decent shelter up ahead. Let’s see if we can find a suitable place to hide out for this travesty”. 

Carrie: “Sounds good. Hopefully they have food. I’m starving. I haven’t eaten in 45 minutes”. 

Roco: “I wouldn’t mind some food. And a nice soft spot to curl up for a nap. I’m overdue by at least 10 minutes”. 

Carrie: “Okay, so a good nap spot and food. Lloyd, do you have any requests”?

Lloyd: “No, I just don’t want to get drenched. Let’s go!” 

The three cats skittered off towards the sheltered area. When they got there, they discovered some sort of campground with tents. They were very excited. Just as they got to the campground a loud clap of thunder came. All three jumped in terror.

Carrie saw a large blue tent. She could smell fish coming from the tent. 

Carrie: “Let’s go in here! It smells delicious. And this loud sky is going to attack us, I just know it is!”

Roco: “I don’t know, Carrie, what about that small brown tent a few feet over? It looks cozy. I bet there are great nap spots there. And yours smells weird. Like fish but mixed with that stuff humans use to smell better, deodorant I think it’s called? What if the humans in there are mean and get mad at you?”

Carrie: “Don’t be ridiculous, Roco. Yours looks tiny. I don’t need you crowding in and twitching your fluffy tail in my face”. 

Lloyd: “Both of those seem like bad options. What about that tent off in the distance? It seems large enough for all of us, and I smell something delicious- catnip, maybe- coming from there. So we’ll get cat friendly people, ample napping spots, food, and shelter. It’s a win-win.” 

Carrie: “NO! That’s too far to walk. We’re going with my choice, and that’s final!”

Lloyd: “Carrie, despite your- ambitious- shall we say, personality, you don’t get to always be in charge. I have an idea. Instead of standing here and arguing, all while getting rained on, why don’t we each go to our selected spot? If one doesn’t work out, we can join the others. But I’m not getting wet, and I’m sick of fighting! 

Roco: “Sounds good to me. Just know, I’m not going to be moving once I get my prime napping spot.” 

Carrie: “Harrumph. Fine. But when you come slinking back to me, remember that I am not sharing any of my food with you!” 

Lloyd: “That’s fine. Let’s split”. 

Carrie, Roco, and Lloyd split up. Carrie starts to try to paw her way into her selected tent when another thunderclap happens. She jumps and hisses. 

Carrie: “Come on, tent! Unzip so I can get in!” Just then, the tent unzipped. Looking back at her was a very unhappy looking human. 

Mean Human: “What do you want, cat? Shoo, go away. We don’t need mangy strays with us”. 

With that, the human closed the tent. Carrie hung her head and walked away sadly. 

Carrie: “Grumpy old man. I hope his fish tastes like water and not actual fish”. 

Carrie meets up with Roco at his tent. 

Roco: “Well, look at what the cat dragged in. What happened, no fish?” 

Carrie: “Stop talking and let me in. I don’t want to talk about it. 

Roco: “Well, here is no good, either. The humans let me in, but they’d had their blankets out for a picnic, and they got soaked. I may as well have tried to nap in a mud puddle.” 

Carrie: “Oh, that’s awful! Well, let’s go find Lloyd. I doubt he’s had better luck. But we can all be miserable together”. 

Just then, more thunder sounded. Carrie and Roco fluffed their tails and ran. 

Carrie: “Ugh, this thunder is going to make my furs turn gray! I hope it’s almost done!”

Roco: “Me, too. Oh look, there’s Lloyd’s tent. But I don’t see Lloyd. I hope he’s okay.”

Roco and Carrie run up to the tent and start meowing desperately. Pretty quickly, a kind looking woman opens the tent.

Nice Human: “Oh, hello there kitties! You guys look soaked- and you must be terrified . I think I have one of your buddies; why don’t you come in and wait out this storm?”

Grateful, Carrie and Roco run inside. They spot Lloyd in the corner, curled up and licking his lips. 

Lloyd: “Hey guys! What happened to your tents?”

Carrie: “It was awful! The human was mean, and wouldn’t share his fish!”

Roco: “Mine was soaked inside and out. It was unpleasant, at best”. 

Lloyd: “Oh no, that stinks. Well, we lucked out here. This person loves cats! She shared her chicken with me, and said I can stay as long as I would like. And look, she’s bringing you some food, too”. 

Carrie perked up. “Oooh, food! I’m definitely staying!”

Roco: “And I can get my nap! This place is pawsome!”

Lloyd: “I am glad you think so. Not to brag, but… I told you so!”

Carrie, Roco, and Lloyd hang out for the next few hours while the thunder and rain pass. On their way back to their humans… 

Carrie: “Well, today was… Interesting. Let’s not repeat”. 

Roco: “Yeah, I just got my tail fluff down.”

Lloyd: “Maybe next time, we should just run home and be protected by our humans from the storm. But for now, I’m going to go home and play with my favorite Mousie toy. See you later!”

17

Mark and Shane Go to Bear Camp – Part 3

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Trump Team: Letting Hunters Kill Bear Cubs Is Top Priority

Where we are: Twin cubs Mark and Shane have been sent to Bear Camp by their exhausted mother. Shane is pretty shy but has been “adopted” by Broz, a seasoned camper. You can read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

They have been at camp for two weeks. It’s time for Parents Day before they head home. Mark sees Mama and Papa Bear and runs over to them. He gives them a big hug.

Bear hugs Photograph by Ruth Jolly - Fine Art America

Mark: Hi Mama! Hi Papa! I missed you guys.

Mama Bear: Did you have a good time?

Mark: It was great! We swam and fished. And we learned how to use a raft. And we hiked and learned tracking tips. I had a amazing time! Wanna see the paw print I made you?

Mama Bear: In a minute, honey. Where’s Shane? I thought you two would be together.

Mark: No. They made us split up. Shane has a new friend; I’ve only see him at meals and campfires. I made a bunch of new friends too.

Adorable bears caught playing peekaboo, stealing kisses

Papa Bear: It sounds like you boys learned a lot.

Mark: We did Papa. And we’re gonna do a skit in the program after lunch.

Papa Bear: Is Shane in your skit?

Mark: No. He’s doing something else. It’s something top-secret.

Shane came running up.

Shane: Mama! Papa! I missed you so much. But I really like camp. I made a new friend. Wanna meet him?

Mama Bear: Of course, sweetie. Where is he?

Running bear cubs wallpaper - Animal wallpapers - #26121

Shane waved to Broz, who came running over.

Shane: Broz, this is my mom and dad. Mama, Papa, this is my friend Broz Bear.

Mama Bear: It’s very nice to meet you. I’m glad Shane made a friend here. We were a little concerned that he might not like camp.

Broz: He’s a great camper. And just wait until you see how talented he is. You’re really going to enjoy our part of the show.

Mama Bear: What are you going to do? Is it another skit?

Shane: It’s top secret, Mama. We’ve been practicing every night.

Mama Bear looked at Mark.

Mark: Don’t look at me. I have no idea what they’re doing. They wouldn’t tell anybody.

Brown Bear Standing Tall. | Brown bear, Bear, Kodiak bear

Counselor Dave banged a loud gong.

Counselor Dave: Welcome parents! We’re glad to see you all. It’s been an exciting two weeks, and the campers can’t wait to show you the entertainment they put together for you. First, let’s eat. Everybody head over to the Mess Hall.

Papa Bear: Thank goodness! I’m starving.

Mama Bear: What are we having?

Papa Bear: Smells like fish.

Mark: You’re right. And lots of berries. We picked them fresh this morning.

Shane: There’s some honey too.

Papa Bear: Yummy!

Do Bears Really Love Honey? | Mental Floss

The bears all settled in and were quickly fed. After everyone was finished eating, the campers left to get ready for the show.

Counselor Dave: Once again, welcome parents. The campers have a short presentation for you. After that, we will be giving out a couple of awards before you head for home. First up are the Bearly There Players performing their original skit titled, “Oh No! It’s a Bear!”

Two of the older campers pretended to be human parents on a picnic with their children. They made a great fuss of telling their children how dangerous bears are, and how they needed to beware of the bears while they were in the woods. The joke behind the skit was that they had set up their picnic in a bear’s home and terrified the poor bear when it woke up from a nap and found a group of humans in it’s front room

The audience roared with laughter at the little bears pretending to be humans and cheered the skit.

Funny bear cub sits on the ground in the forest. summer. finland. photo – Mammal Image on Unsplash

Counselor Dave: You guys did a great job! Very realistic portrayal of the humans. Normally, we would have two skits at the end of camp. But our other group wanted to do something a little different. So I present to you the Bongo Bears!

Shane, Broz and the rest of their group came on the stage carrying small drums. They sat on the ground and performed a short beat. They then broke into a fairly complicated cadence, picking up speed as they went along. Shane was totally absorbed. When they finished, he broke into a huge grin. The audience loved it.

Counselor Dave: Nice work, campers! I think we may make drumming a regular part of camp. Maybe we could even start a camp band.

Mama Bear: I’m really proud of you, Shane. You weren’t shy up there at all.

Shane: I owe it to Broz. He introduced me to the rest of the guys. He knows all the campers. Everyone was really nice.

Bear cubs pictured in Alaska playing in long grass before hugging | Daily Mail Online

Counselor Dave: We just wanted to hand out a couple of awards before we finish up. We want to recognize the bear who best exemplifies the spirit of Bear Camp. The camper who excels at teamwork and camaraderie. Then we want to recognize the bear who has made the most progress in developing their skills while they were here. I think everyone knows who the winners are.

Broz looked at Shane and started grinning.

Broz: It’s us, Dude!

Shane: Nah. I never win anything.

Counselor Dave: He’s right, Shane. Broz has been the heart of the camp this year. And you definitely are the most improved. You didn’t even want to come to lunch the first day. Remember?

Shane blushed under his fur.

Three adorable bear cubs give their mum a hug while feeding | The US Sun

Counselor Dave: We have little awards for you. But we also want you to take your drums. You can practice all year for when you come back.

Shane and Broz were thrilled.

Shane: Broz, we can get together and practice. It’ll be great!

Mark: I can learn too.

Broz: That’s an excellent idea!

Mama Bear groaned.

Sleepy bear | Taken at the San Antonio Zoo More details on m… | Flickr

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.