7

My Inquiring Mind

Questions that have been roaming my brain recently:

Why are we being invaded by June bugs in May?

Why do some people get allergies as kids and outgrow them and some get them as adults? Do the kids just shed them onto some random adult? Can I find some obnoxious child to pass mine to?

Why do those drug ads on TV tell us to talk to our doctors about their products? Do they think the doctors don’t already know about them? Besides, why would I want to talk to my doctor about ED drugs?

How did women survive the heat back when they had to wear full-length dresses and all those other layers? No A/C and most of them couldn’t just lay around and fan themselves all day.

What was the driver thinking when he passed 3 cars on a blind curve? I know what I was thinking coming the other direction. It’s weird how long it seems to take the brain to realize there is a car coming toward you and there’s nowhere to go.

Why is the Store Director yelling (yes, really) at my Team Leader for not having enough people in the deli when she now has to live with the computer telling her who can work which hours?

Why do I open my Xfinity newsfeed to see yet another story on one of the Real Housewives of Wherever and open my MSN newsfeed to see that 1400 Indians have died from the heat? Maybe because I was able to choose mostly foreign news sources on MSN?

Why are they still heating our Receiving area? It’s in the eighties and humid; and all we do back there is unload boxes. Seems they could save some money there.

Speaking of boxes – why do they tape them shut, then label them not to be cut open. Isn’t that what box-cutters are designed to do?

We don’t have A/C. The house stays cool in the summer until the first really humid day. So why did we have to get high humidity before high heat this year? (Of course, it’s supposed to drop 25 degrees in a couple of days.)

Why is the bedroom in the northwest corner of the house 10 degrees colder in the winter and 10 degrees hotter in the summer?

Why did the county put up a sign on a local road saying, “Road construction coming soon”? Like a movie trailer. Of course, one day the road was at a standstill while they paved it because no one knew “soon” had come.

If airbags are for safety, why is the only injury I’ve ever gotten in an accident was when the airbag pushed my teeth through my lip? (Including the times I rolled a car and was broadsided by a tow truck towing a car.)

Why do some cats see shorts as an invitation to get on your lap? (Oooh look – bare skin! It needs fur!)

Totally unrelated observation: There was a man in the store today who looked just like the pictures I’ve seen of Rasputin – right down to the spooky eyes (my guy had less beard).

(BBC Archive)

3

How Do You Vacuum a Cat?

I really hate what aging is doing to my body. Particularly my sinuses. Probably not the part you were expecting, but I don’t know you well enough to be any more intimate.

When I was in high school, my best friend had allergies. It seemed like she was miserable all the time. Mainly it was the usual suspects: ragweed, pollen, goldenrod. She was also allergic to dogs and cats. One of her concerns was that she really wanted an Old English Sheepdog, but she couldn’t breathe around them. I think the breathing finally won out. Just as well. I read that those dogs have to be brushed daily, preferably at least twice a day. If they’re talking about using a utensil, that’s as much as I brush mine.

I tried to be sympathetic, but it was useless. I had no idea what it was like to be that miserable just because the weather changed. So I did the typical teenage thing. I congratulated myself on not needing to carry what seemed like a whole box of tissues in my purse. And finding somewhere to dispose of them.

A few years after college, I got severe headaches, and the doctors couldn’t figure out why. If I were a doctor, I’d want to be a dermatologist – no emergencies and the problem is right there, sitting on the skin.

I finally went to an allergist. She did that obnoxious test were they turn your back into a chess board and use a tiny needle to inject certain allergens. Turns out there were no major problems, but I did react to some trees, grasses, mold – and cats.

That day, when I got home, my husband had a surprise for me. The cutest little (4 weeks old) kitten. She lived with us for twenty-two years with no problems. Hah! Shows what that test was worth.

As the years went by, I had more and more trouble breathing around mold. We have an old house and the basement has leaked around the foundation off and on. Seems to be some grumpy gremlin around the base of the house. At first, I only noticed the problem when I used the treadmill. Now I can feel it just going down there. Is that a great excuse for not using the treadmill or what?

Then it was cut grass. Then other things growing around me. I am still no where near my friend’s level of discomfort. Lucky for you – otherwise, you would have heard me whining about it a long time ago.

But it was still pretty obnoxious a couple of years ago when they started putting cut flowers in the cheese cooler before big flower holidays (Easter, Mother’s Day). When I opened the cooler this week and saw them (they had slunk in the night before), I groaned. Sure enough, my eyes watered and got swollen and my nose ran for hours. They’d been storing up their nasty little histamines all night to get me.

But the absolute worst happened a few weeks ago. I was wearing a fleece jacket and it was getting more and more uncomfortable to breathe. I looked down and it was covered with cat hair. That can’t be it – I’m not allergic to cats. I took off the jacket and could breathe again. Oh no, I thought, not the kitties.

It was shedding season. Kommando Kitty (who has adopted me as her main human) is a cross between a Siamese and something Siberian, I’m sure. She has medium short hair that molds against her body. And more of it than I have seen on any cat except my parents’ Norwegian Forest cat. She even has fur between her toes. And it’s really fine fur – sticks to everything.

I would brush her whenever we sat together. Did wonders for her coat; not so much for my sinuses. As you might imagine, I was distraught. It was the first time I had a problem around any animal and it was mine! She cuddles in my arms every night before she goes to the foot of the bed. She watches TV on my lap.

My family laughed at me because it was “my” cat who was giving me problems. The calico seemed to be hypo-allergenic. Until I brushed her and got the fur all over me.

All you cat people probably know that cats are at their friendliest during shedding season. The loose fur itches and they want to get rid of it, preferably all over you. You skirtch them and get handfuls of fur. You brush them and empty the brush multiple times before it comes back fur-free.

We had a cat that I would brush downstairs before going to bed. We’d go upstairs and when I scratched her back, I still got handfuls of fur. This would go on for days. Then magically stop. The biggest problem was the amount of fur in the trash. It looked like we were trying to grow a new cat.

I was still totally traumatized by my new affliction when I realized it had stopped. Kommando continues to rub her face against me, but my sinuses are clear. That’s weird – everyone knows that allergies to cats are caused by their dander, not the furs themselves.

But as you know, I’m a little unique. Apparently the allergy is not very severe. It only activates when I look like a yeti in cat fur. I’ll wait until fall to test my theory. The cats shed the summer fur in the fall to get in their winter furs, so it’s not as severe. If I’m OK between now and then but start to react, I’ll know I’m right.

If that’s the problem, I have a choice between shaving them and vacuuming them during shedding season. Obviously, cleaning my clothes after brushing is not an option. That is a lot of work. Bathing isn’t an option. I’d have to do it daily for two weeks. I need my blood.

Same issue with shaving. Both the cat and I would need a transfusion at the end. Me from her teeth and claws. Her from me trying to shave her. Besides, it took Kommando several months to grow back her fur after she was fixed. Guess it’s hard to get all those furs through the skin at the same time. She’d just get furry in time to get shaved again. And she’d look funny.

So vacuuming it is. It may be a little tricky. They both hate the vacuum cleaner. Maybe I can use the little ones they have  for computers. Probably not, I think those blow air not suck it in.

Hmmmm. Think I’ll stick with the theory that they just spent too much time in the basement with the mold this spring.