Today, we are behind the scenes at Yak Express, as they try to process the overload of post Christmas returns they’re getting.
Borris: “Man, everyone and their grandmother must have bought a Deluxe Kitty Condo: 3 Levels of Pawsome!”
Zack: “Except it’s not so pawsome. This is the 5th one I’ve returned.
Borris: “I wonder what’s wrong with them?”
Zack: “The first one said it wasn’t plush enough. Then one said it smelled like a dog. This one, the color isn’t soothing enough.”
Borris: They were heavy enough to deliver when they were properly packaged. This is just miserable.
Steen: “At least yours is all in solid pieces. I just had an exploding nip mouse explode all over me. It’ll take days to get my hair back to normal again.”
Borris: “Maybe you could hang out with the cats that are returning their kitty condos. It sounds like they need to relax.”
Steen: “And don’t even get me started on the food returns! Mackerel, tuna, liver… all of it smells disgusting. And it comes in those heavy tin cans.
Zack: “Notice no one is returning the plush blankets or fuzzy robes. Those were easy to travel with- and comfortable.”
Borris: “Come on, I had one returned!”
Steen: “Yeah, because the cat who had it hacked a hairball up and couldn’t get the stain out. That’s disgusting.”
Borris: “I’d say the worst for returning are the soaps and perfumes. The scent always makes me gag. And it lingers on my hooves.”
Zack: “That’s true. No one ordered “grassy fields”. They’re all weird scents, like “vanilla cinnamon” and “lush cotton”
Steen: “It could be worse. I hear some humans like to smell like leather. Who’d want to smell like a cow all the time?”
Borris: “And what about these kitchen appliances! They’re heavy, and my back isn’t as good as it used to be.”
Steen: Or the exercise equipment! Who decided we were returning weights and treadmills?
Borris: “The stupid thing is, it’s not like the manufacturer is going to resell it. We’re doing all of this work just for these items to end up in the trash”.
Steen: “I agree, it’s stupid.”
Borris: “And we don’t ever get overtime pay. I vote we go at our own pace. There’s no need to rush this stuff back.
Zack: Isn’t that why we got complaints about our Christmas deliveries?”
Steen: “Yeah, but everyone just likes to complain. No one knows how hard it truly is working for Yak Express.”
Zack: “This job isn’t for the old, that’s for sure.”
Steen: “Or the pretty. This is wrecking havoc on my hooves and hair.”
Borris: “I vote that next year, we sell our returns to a third party vendor.”
Zack: “Definitely. It’ll be worth a little money to save my back.”
Borris: “And don’t even get me started on the late deliveries. We always get the blame, but it’s not our fault they chose not to order in time!”
Steen: “It just keeps coming and coming… it’ll never end.”
Pictures courtesy of Google Images and ChatGPT
Adventures in Cheeseland 