Tag Archives: Humor

16

Behind the Scenes with the Easter Bunny

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When does the Easter Bunny come? Story behind the famous rabbit we celebrate at Easter - and when he delivers chocolate eggs | The Scotsman

Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday) and Ash Wednesday are next week, so Easter is just around the corner. We thought we’d check in with the Easter Bunny (EB), see how things look going into his busiest time of the year. Let’s listen in on a meeting at headquarters.

Bunny Bath Mat, Real Life Image of a Group of Rabbits Eating Food in the Garden Feeding Animalistic, Plush Bathroom Decor Mat with Non Slip Backing, 29.5" X 17.5", Multicolor, by Ambesonne -

EB: Hello, everyone. Thank you for joining me at the kick-off for the busiest time of the year here at EB Enterprises. I’m excited to welcome all of you. Let’s kick things off with a report from Raphael in Marketing.

Raphael: Good Morning. I’m excited to say that we are finally back at full capacity after the events of the past few years. We have a lot planned. First, we have signed an agreement with the folks at Holiday Heroes to schedule a full season of Breakfast with the Easter Bunny.

Thanks I hate this Easter bunny because it is creepy and will give children nightmares : r/TIHI

Jenny: Aren’t those the humans who dress up like EB at malls and restaurants?

Raphael: Yes, it’s a very popular program.

Jenny: But they’re so creepy. They don’t even look like real rabbits.

Raphael: I’m told they’ve been working on their costumes, and they should be a lot better. Hopefully, fewer screaming children.

Geoffrey: And there were those problems with the way they acted too.

Raphael: Right. Carrot mimosas are definitely off the menu. Humans cannot handle carrots and champagne. That was a disaster that we learned from.

The rabbits in the room nod approvingly.

Rabbit: The Other "Other White Meat" | Arts & Culture| Smithsonian Magazine

Raphael: You should start seeing them in stores and restaurants beginning next weekend.

Paul: Any plans for making EB more like Santa? More presents and more hype throughout the year?

Raphael: EB is not interested in becoming Santa Claus. He wants to stick with the candy and eggs with maybe a few small gifts thrown in. No major changes in direction. He has decided against a phone app to speak with children. Says he’s more a symbol of spring than a gift machine. He’s going to leave the big stuff to Santa.

Paul: Is it true that Santa doesn’t want the competition?

The Sketchpad: Easter Bunny on Santa's Lap

EB: That’s enough, Paul. Don’t start any rumors. Things are fine between Santa and me. I’m just not interested in a year-round operation like he is. Thank you for your report, Paul. Next let’s hear from Marcia in Distribution.

Marcia: Thanks, EB. It looks like it’s going to be a bit of a challenging year. Global distribution channels are still not fully back to normal, and some things are still a little pricey. We’re doing our best, but it looks like eggs may be a little scarce.

Jeff: How are you going to handle the shortages?

Marcia: We have a lot of connections. I think things will be fine. But we will be working hard right up to the very end to make sure we make and deliver only the best products.

Why do we have Easter eggs and the Easter bunny? - CBBC Newsround

Pierre: I’ve heard rumors that the chickens may go on strike before Easter to make eggs more expensive,

Marcia: I hadn’t heard that. Is it a reliable source?

Pierre: Well. My mother said her sister saw it on Rabbit Reddit.

Suzette: I saw it on BunnyBook. My sister’s mother-in-law sent it to me. She heard it from some friends of hers.

Marcia: I’ll look into it, but I’m guessing those are just rumors.

Ted: Do we have a guaranteed supply of eggs?

Where Does the Easter Bunny Live? Here's Where Your Eggs Come From

Marcia: We’ve never had a problem. We have suppliers all over the world.

EB: Stay calm, everyone. We’ll have plenty of eggs. And I don’t want anyone in this room spreading rumors about the scarcity of eggs. We’re in the hope business, not the egg business.

Josie: What about chocolate? Is there a shortage of that too?

EB looked surprised.

The Ancient Origins of the Easter Bunny | History| Smithsonian Magazine

EB: Josie, I’m surprised at you. You’ve been here long enough to know that chocolate is never a problem for the Easter Bunny. We make our own chocolate. We would never run out of that.

Josie: I forgot. After that mess with getting chocolate alligators and platypuses instead of bunnies and chicks two years ago, we moved it back in-house. Never mind.

EB: Finally, I’m going to turn it over to Jack in Rabbit Resources.

Jack: I just want to remind everyone that we have finished our seasonal hiring. I’m excited to say that we are fully staffed for the first time in three years. Apparently, on-site bunny sitting and all the carrots you can eat were the key. We have also added some tuition reimbursement and bonuses for our regular staff. We will be posting the new teams and schedules by the end of the day.

7 Things I Learned About Workplace Culture From Watching Rabbit Videos

Stuart: Who did the hiring? The last bunch of seasonal employees weren’t very good. And they didn’t last.

Jack: We were more careful this year. Almost everyone is a referral from a current employee or a successful former employee.

Stuart: And no dogs?

Jack: Unfortunately, we will not be bringing in any canines. The Easter Bunny needs to be represented by bunnies. There was too much stress having a potential predator in the factory.

Annabelle: He wasn’t a predator. He was just over-enthusiastic.

Stuart: He kept smelling me. It was unnerving.

Jack: It was a distraction. This year, it’s all rabbits.

EB: Thank you everyone. Let’s make this our best year ever!

He walks out to much foot stomping.

Bunnies Have A Happy Dance! And 6 Other Funky Facts About Rabbits - Modern Farmer

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

 

17

Tyrone Tabby and the Valentine’s Day Dance – Part 2

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two cats one love : r/cats

Where we are: Tyrone tried to impress the new girl Erin with his pouncing skills in the lunchroom. He had missed the mark, but she had left him a message to meet her in the gym before class. Tyrone wanted to take Erin to the Valentine’s Day dance. He was eagerly waiting for her. You can read Part 1 here.

Tyrone was trying not to act nervous. He was sitting on one of the bleachers, looking around. No sign of Erin. He looked at his phone. Maybe she had changed her mind. He was looking down when he heard someone come in. A female voice said his name, and his heart stopped.

Girl: Hello, Tyrone.

Tyrone looked up. Then his heart sank. It wasn’t Erin. It was Ivy, one of the girls he had known since he was a kitten.

HD wallpaper: two kittens playing with each other, cat, love, cats, domestic Cat | Wallpaper Flare

Tyrone: Hello, Ivy.

Ivy: Hi. How are you?

Tyrone: I am well. And yourself?

Ivy: I’m good. I haven’t seen much of you lately. Until yesterday in the lunchroom. That was a really good jump.

Tyrone (embarrassed): Thanks, Ivy. I kind of missed my mark. I wanted to land on the other table.

Ivy: I was really impressed. Whenever I try to make that kind of jump, I end up on the floor.

Tyrone: I wasn’t supposed to slide.

Ivy: At least you stayed on the table. I thought it was really good.

Some Facts About Cats Talking To Each Other | Pets Nurturing

Tyrone couldn’t figure out how to end the conversation. He didn’t want Erin to come in and see him talking to another girl. But Ivy was being really nice, and he didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

Ivy: What have you been up to? I used to see you all the time. Now it’s hardly ever.

Tyrone: I guess I’ve been spending a lot of time with Donny and Clyde. Not as much time outside.

Ivy: That sounds like fun. How are classes going? I’m taking a lot of classes to get ready for college. They’re really keeping me busy.

Tyrone: School is good. The guys are talking about starting an extermination business after we graduate, but I think I want to go to college too.

Ivy: You definitely should. You’re much too smart to spend your life chasing mice. What do you want to study?

Tyrone was having a good time talking to Ivy, but he really wanted to wait for Erin. Finally, he blurted out.

Tyrone: I’m kinda waiting for someone this morning, Ivy.

Ivy: Erin, right?

Tyrone (blushing): Yeah. How did you know?

Ivy: That’s why I’m here too.

Tyrone: What do you mean?

Ivy: She’s not coming.

Tyrone: Did she send you?

Now Ivy was embarrassed. Tyrone started to get uncomfortable. He could tell that Ivy was trying to hide something.

Tyrone: It’s OK. You can tell me.

Ivy: I’m sorry, Tyrone. I don’t really know how to say this.

Tyrone: Just say it.

Ivy: Erin didn’t send that message. Jessie did.

Jessie was another girl in their class. Tyrone talked to her once in a while, but they weren’t friends.

Can a dog or cat get jealous? | Yarrah

Tyrone (disappointed): Why would Jessie do that?

Ivy: She saw that you were interested in Erin. She’s jealous.

Tyrone: Of what?

Ivy: Of Erin. Erin attracts a lot of boys. She wanted to show you that it’s stupid to like a girl just because she’s pretty.

Tyrone: That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. But why are you here?

Laughing kitty! | Funny animals, Cats, Smiling animals

Ivy: Jessie wanted you to be sitting here alone so she could come and make fun of you. But I know you. You’re a really decent guy. You would have treated Erin well. You don’t deserve to have Jessie laughing at you.

Tyrone: Erin is really pretty. But I bet she’s not as nice as you are.

Ivy (blushing): Thank you, Tyrone. That’s a very sweet thing to say.

Tyrone: It’s true. I was really enjoying talking to you.

Ivy: I like talking to you too.

Tyrone: Maybe Jessie’s right. I am dumb. I should’ve been talking to you.

Just a cat hugging another cat in her sleep #hugging #naptime #cats #cathugs | Cute cats, Cat hug, Cute animals

Ivy: We’ve known each other a long time. You just don’t think of me the same way.

Tyrone: But maybe I should.

Ivy looked at Tyrone and smiled. He hadn’t realized that she was actually a very attractive cat.

Tyrone: Would you like to go out for a bowl of cream after school?

Ivy: That would be fun. We can talk about college.

Tyrone: I would like that.

Happy Valentine's Day Cat Pictures, Photos, and Images for Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, and Twitter

Pictures courtesy of Google Images. (Sgt Stripes guest-starring as Tyrone,)

23

Tyrone Tabby and the Valentine’s Day Dance

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Valentine's Day Gifts for Cats - The Catington Post

Tyrone stared at Erin across the lunchroom. He thought that she was the prettiest kitty he had ever seen. She had recently moved into the neighborhood and had started school a couple of weeks ago. She was in his Feline History class, but he hadn’t gotten up the nerve to talk to her.

He was eating with his friends Clyde and Donny. They were talking about the movie they had watched last night, “SpaceCat Rex: Defender of the Galaxy.”

Can Cats See TV? │ Hill's Pet

Clyde: That movie was lame. Those lasers never would have worked like that.

Donny: I agree. The trajectory was all wrong. But the story was excellent.

Clyde: The first SpaceCat Rex movie was the best. What is this, the third? Or the fourth?

Donny: It depends on whether you count that one with the lynx.

Clyde: You can’t count that one. It was outside the canon.

Donny: What do you think, Tyrone?

  Why Do Cats Stare? - Catster

But Tyrone wasn’t paying any attention. He was too busy watching Erin. She was so graceful.

Donny: Tyrone! Are you paying any attention?

Tyrone: Isn’t she pretty? I think I want to ask her to the Valentine’s dance.

Clyde: Who?

Donny: He’s all goofy over that new girl, Erin. She doesn’t even know he’s alive.

Clyde: Forget her. Girls like that don’t go out with cats like us.

Tyrone: What do you mean?

Top 10 Most Beautiful Cat Breeds in the World (with Pictures)

Clyde: Girls like the smooth-talking Toms, not us.

Tyrone: I can be smooth-talking.

Donny: Tyrone, she’ll break your heart. Leave her alone.

Tyrone: It won’t hurt to say hi. I’m going to go talk to her.

Donny: You’ve never talked to a girl cat before. Maybe you should practice first.

Tyrone: How hard can it be?

Pin on animals

Tyrone watched Erin for a few minutes while he was gathering his nerve. He was a very shy cat and didn’t have any idea what he was going to say. Finally, he decided that he would pounce on her table and try to act sophisticated. He would impress her with his grace.

He walked to the other side of the room and waited for his opportunity. She was talking to a couple of other girls. Finally, the other girls left, and he saw his chance. He measured the distance in his head. Then he stretched and leapt.

Right over her table to the table behind her. He landed on a piece of paper and slid down the table. Just before he got to the end of the table, the paper stopped moving. Erin and a few other cats were watching him, confused.

Is your cat laughing at you? | BBC Earth

Tyrone jumped down and ran back to his friends. He tried to look nonchalant. They were trying not to laugh.

Clyde: Dude, what was that?

Donny: I think you got her attention.

Tyrone: Shut up. I want to disappear.

He looked around. No one was paying any attention to him. Erin was talking to some different cats. Then the bell rang, and they had to go back to class. He didn’t see Erin for the rest of the day.

After school, he was walking home with his friends. They were still laughing about his jump.

Why do cats sleep so much? What's normal and not | PetsRadar

Donny: That was amazing! I’m sure she was was impressed.

Clyde: At least you didn’t land on her. That would have been terrible.

Tyrone: Maybe she didn’t know it was me. Maybe I can still act cool around her tomorrow.

Donny: I think everyone knew it was you. Maybe you can move to Siberia.

Tyrone: This is awful. Now she’ll never talk to me. How far away is Siberia?

Clyde: It was a joke. No one will remember in a few days.

Tyrone: I will. This is horrible.

Tyrone went to his room when he got home. His phone buzzed.

Phone: Hi Tyrone, it’s Erin from school. Pawsome jump today at lunch! Meet me in the gym before school tomorrow. We can talk.

Tyrone stared at his phone. He couldn’t believe his eyes. He shut the phone down and turned it back on. The message was still there. It was still there in the morning.

He took extra time grooming in the morning, making sure every fur was in place. He told the guys he was going in early to get some extra time in the lab. He stood in the corner of the gym, waiting patiently.

Next week: Is Erin the girl of Tyrone’s dreams?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

22

Groundhog Day Kerfluffle – Part II

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Cocky Groundhog Steals Farmer's Food and Flaunts It in Front of the Camera - AZ Animals

Where we are: Gustav Groundhog has gotten up early on February 2 to make sure everything is in order for his big Groundhog Day proclamation. Unfortunately, when he leaves the den, he is greeted by a group of hedgehogs who are intent on celebrating Hedgehog Day in the old Roman tradition. The hedgehogs are led by Nigel and Oliver who want to start their own celebration. You can read Part 1 here.

What is the difference between a groundhog and a hedgehog? - Quora

Gustav: See here. This is my spot. The humans will be coming here to watch the groundhog predict whether or not there’s going to be an early spring.

Nigel: There’s no point in your stupid prediction. We’re out and about. That’s enough to say that spring will be early.

Gustav: Don’t be ridiculous. It depends on whether or not I see my shadow. If it’s sunny and I see my shadow, I’m going back to bed for another six weeks.

Oliver: That’s stupid. If you see your shadow, that means it’s sunny. Why would you go back to bed?

Gustav: That’s just the way it works. If it’s sunny early on the 2nd, winter will be sticking around for a while.

Creature Feature: Groundhog Day - Blue Ridge Country

Nigel: So if you wake up in the middle of a snowstorm, that’s a sign of an early spring?

Gustav: I didn’t say that.

Nigel: No, but you won’t see your shadow.

Oliver: Excellent point.

Gustav: It’s never snowed all day on Groundhog Day. I’ve always been able to tell one way or the other. Besides, how do you know whether or not to come out?

snowmen... | Cute animals, Funny hedgehog, Baby hedgehog

Nigel looked at Oliver.

Nigel: Actually, we saw a posting that you would be holding a celebration. We figured that if the weather is good enough for a celebration, it’s good enough for us to come out.

Gustav: So you’re not out because you’re sensing warm weather.

Nigel: It’s warm enough for us to be out.

Oliver: There’s not a manual for this type of thing. It more a matter of whether we’re comfortable leaving home.

Nigel: And we’re comfortable, so we’re going to declare an early spring.

angry hedgehog :3 | Hedgehog, Funny animals, Animal planet

Gustav: You can’t do that. You’ll ruin my big day.

Nigel: It’s not your big day. It started out as Hedgehog Day and your sort stole the idea.

Gustav: We did not steal your idea. No one over here was celebrating that.

They argued back and forth, neither side willing to give up. They didn’t notice that people had begun to arrive and were watching them. The humans were fascinated. They had never seen a groundhog talking to a hedgehog.

Punxsutawney Phil's Groundhog Day 2012: A Shadowy Science

Human 1: Why is that groundhog yelling at the baby porcupines?

Human 2: Those aren’t porcupines, they’re hedgehogs.

Human 3: Where’d they come from? We don’t have wild hedgehogs around here.

Human 1: I have no idea. They’re pretty cute, though.

Human 2: When is that groundhog going to get up on his stump and look for his shadow? It’s freezing out here.

Gustav heard the people talking and realized it was time. He tried to walk away from the hedgehogs, but they had him surrounded.

10 Interesting Facts About Groundhogs and How to Remove Them

Gustav: Please let me make my prediction. It only happens one time each year.

Nigel: We want to be part of the ceremony.

Gustav: Doing what? All I do is stand there. The humans try to see my shadow and take my picture.

Oliver: We want to be in the picture.

Gustav: Fine. Be in the picture. Let’s just get this over with.

Gustav led the way to the big stump in the clearing. He climbed up and waited for the hedgehogs. When everyone was in place, he stood up. The people gathered around.

What Do Hedgehogs Eat? The Complete Food And Diet List

Human 1: Look! No shadow. It’s going to be an early spring!

There was a round of applause. The hedgehogs weren’t used to humans and curled up into balls.

Human 2: I wonder what that means?

Human 3: No idea. But they’re really cute.

The humans left piles of vegetable. Gustav shared them with the hedgehogs, making sure to keep all of the rutabagas.

Nigel: That was rather unpleasant. Humans are large and loud.

Oliver: I don’t think I want to do this anymore.

Nigel: You can have your holiday back, groundhog.

Gustav wandered off to take a quick nap.

Groundhog Day: Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow - and 3 in 5 Americans trust his prediction! - Study Finds

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

 

 

20

Groundhog Day Kerfluffle

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Fun Facts About Groundhogs. The groundhog is a rodent of the family… | by U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service | Updates from the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service | Medium

Note: In the United States and Canada, February 2 is celebrated as Groundhog Day. According to legend, if a groundhog (or woodchuck) comes out of its den on that day and sees its shadow, it will return to the den and winter will last another six weeks. If it is cloudy, and the groundhog cannot see its shadow, it will remain out and spring will arrive early.

It’s mid-fall somewhere in Northern Michigan. Gustav Groundhog and his family are getting ready for hibernation.

Pin on Cuteness

Monique: Has everybody had enough to eat?

Juliette: I’m stuffed, Mom. Couldn’t eat another bite.

Junior: I’ve been filling up on the last of the rutabagas. I love rutabagas.

Gustav: Remember to leave a couple for the end of the season. I’m going to be hungry when I wake up early.

Juliette: Dad, I don’t understand what the big deal is about Groundhog Day. We should all just sleep until we wake up naturally. Who cares how long winter is going to last?

National Groundhog Day 2022 - Fun Facts - Folklore and Weather Prediction

Gustav: It’s a family tradition. We’ve been the “weather hogs” for generations. It’s not so bad now that I finally got the humans to stop trying to pull me out of the den. If I go out on my own, it’s a lot more pleasant.

Monique: It is really nice getting all of those veggies your fans leave.

Junior: I hope they bring rutabagas this year. There was an awful lot of celery last year.

Juliette: Yeah. And it was still wrapped.

Monique: The flowers were pretty tasty too.

Gustav: All I have to do is walk out of the den, stand on my back legs for a few minutes, and come back in. As long as they get their pictures, everyone’s happy.

Tired groundhog | Jonathan D.-Casey | Flickr

Monique: And if you’re quiet, the rest of us don’t even have to wake up.

Juliette: Yeah, Dad. Quiet. Not like last year when you stepped on all of us.

Gustav: It’s dark in the den at the beginning of February. Besides, that wasn’t me. That was the goofy rabbit I paid to wake me up. I thought rabbits had good eyesight. He couldn’t tell which one was me.

Junior: It’s dark in here because we’re supposed to be asleep. How are you going to keep Herkimer quiet?

Gustav: Don’t worry. I’ll sleep closest to the door this year. Besides, I have the Internet now, so I don’t need Herkimer. I have my own alarm.

Junior: Let me make sure you set it right.

Gustav: Thanks, son. Put it at half-past dawn on the the second.

Groundhogs agree spring is early this year -

Gustav and his family settled in for their long winter nap. Before he knew it, Gustav heard the soft buzzing of his alarm. He carefully turned it off. Gustav got up and stretched. He was cold and sleepy. Hopefully this wasn’t going to take very long. He walked over to the edge of the den and looked out.

He saw some snow in the early light. It would be a little while before the humans showed up. He decided to have a snack and got one of the rutabagas. As he munched, he walked outside. He was surprised to see a line of hedgehogs surrounding his den.

A group of hedgehogs is called a prickle : r/aww

Gustav: Hi, guys. What are you doing here? You’re going to have to move. This is my big day to predict the end of winter. The humans should be arriving shortly.

Hedgehog: I’m Nigel and my buddy is Oliver. We brought some of our friends to protest your ceremony.

Gustav: Why are you protesting? My family’s been doing this for generations.

Nigel: We heard. And it’s not right. This is supposed to be Hedgehog Day, not Groundhog Day.

Gustav: That’s silly. Whoever heard of Hedgehog Day?

Join the Hedgehog Friendly Campus working group

Oliver: It’s not silly. You’ve stolen our day. It started with the Romans. If we come out in early February, it means spring is close. If you don’t see us, winter will last several more weeks.

Gustav: There aren’t any Romans around anymore.

Nigel: No. But some people still celebrate in Europe. It’s particularly popular in Ireland.

Gustav: You’re in Michigan, not Ireland. We celebrate Groundhog Day here. Now get out of my space.

Oliver: We’re not going anywhere. We’ve come to reclaim our holiday. And the treats that go with it. We’re not moving.

Next week: Will Gustav get the hedgehogs to move along so he can collect his Groundhog Day goodies?

Groundhog vs Gopher: 5 Key Differences - AZ Animals

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

20

The Bear, The Squirrel, and the Walnuts – Part 2

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Colorado Bear Eats Huge Amount of Fermented Apples

Where we are: Sammy the Bear is taking a break from hibernation to have a snack. Unfortunately, he’s snacking on Gerald the Squirrel’s walnuts. And Gerald is not happy. Gerald’s friends have all run away in fear while he confronts the bear. You can read Part 1 here.

Watch this angry squirrel go nuts and flick its tail - Futurity

Gerald continued to chatter at Sammy. Sammy watched the squirrel while he continued to munch on walnuts.

Gerald: Bear, you have to stop eating our nuts! We worked hard to gather them, and they’re supposed to last all winter. They don’t belong to you. You’re a thief.

Sammy: You seem pretty excited Mr. Squirrel. I don’t really understand what you’re saying. Are you sure you don’t want any nuts?

Gerald: Yes, I want nuts! I want all the nuts! They’re mine! Go back to bed!

Tired bear is tired : r/gentlemanimals

Sammy stopped eating and scratched himself. He thought about going back to bed. He was still pretty tired. Maybe he should gather up the rest of the nuts and take them with him so he’d have them in the spring. He looked around for something to put them in. Winter was such a bother. It was cold, and everything was bare.

Suddenly, Gerald’s friends reappeared. They had a cardinal with them. They stood at the edge of the clearing and motioned to Gerald. He was too agitated to pay any attention. Finally, the cardinal flew over and chirped at Sammy.

Angeline lim on Twitter | Animals beautiful, Animals wild, Animals friendship

Sammy: Hello, birdie! You’re so pretty! What do you want?

Cardinal: Sammy! It’s me, Francis. Remember me?

Sammy: Hey, Francis! Long time, no see. What have you been up to?

Francis: Not much. Been pretty busy with the family. You feeling okay? You’re supposed to be sleeping.

Sammy: Yeah. It was the weirdest thing. I got too warm and couldn’t sleep. Then I got hungry. Couldn’t find anything in the den, so I went for a walk.

Francis: This isn’t a good time of year to be looking for food. Everything’s still frozen.

Sammy: I found these walnuts. They’re excellent. I think I’m going to take the rest of them to the den.

Angry squirrel puts rail worker in hospital after carrying out vicious attack on station - World News - Mirror Online

Gerald started sputtering.

Gerald: You are not taking the rest of my nuts, you big bag of fur! Go back to bed!

Sammy: Hey, Francis. Can you understand what that little squirrel is saying? He sounds really upset, but I can’t make out his dialect.

Squirrel party | This is a group of 4 red squirrel siblings:… | Flickr

Francis looked at the other squirrels. They nodded.

Francis: He’s a friend of those squirrels over there. They gathered these nuts for winter. This guy over here is trying to get them back from you.

Sammy: Oh, that makes a lot of sense. He’s been running around and screaming like a lunatic. I thought he might be having some kind of a fit. I didn’t think about who put the nuts here. Rats! I guess that means I can’t take the rest of them with me.

SQUIRREL TALK #by Alla Gill on prime.500px.com | Squirrel pictures, Cute animals, Cute squirrel

Gerald: That’s right, furball! They’re mine!!

Wendy: Gerald! Calm down. He didn’t know they belonged to anyone. He wasn’t trying to steal them.

Randy: It sounds like an honest mistake.

Gerald: It doesn’t matter. He took our walnuts. I want a full apology and restitution.

Francis: I don’t think it’s wise to provoke the bear. He didn’t mean any harm.

Sitting Pretty: a grizzly bear plopped down on the snow. | Grizzly bear, Bear pictures, Animals wild

Gerald sat and thought for a few minutes. Sammy was sitting on the ground, looking sleepy. He had stopped eating the nuts.

Gerald: I guess you guys are right. It’s not like he has anything to replace them with anyway. Francis, will you please tell him that we want the rest of our nuts back?

Francis: I’ll see what I can do.

sad sad bear | very depressing, zoos can be :( | Tam | Flickr

Francis went over to speak with Sammy.

Francis: The squirrels would like the rest of the nuts back.

Sammy: Of course. I feel badly that I ate so many. I wasn’t really awake and thinking. Please tell them that I’m sorry.

Francis: You can tell them yourself. They understand you; Gerald is just hard to understand when he gets that upset.

waving bear | Animals | Know Your Meme

Sammy stood up and waved.

Sammy: Sorry I ate your nuts, guys. I just woke up and was really hungry. Can I help you take them back where they belong before I go back to bed?

Hilarious photos show squirrels lifting nutty 'barbells'

The squirrels gladly accepted his help. Between all of them, it only took one trip to move the remaining nuts. It looked like there would still be enough for the remainder of the winter. As a thank-you, they gave Sammy a pawful to take with him. He happily headed back to bed.

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

The Secret Life of Sleeping Bears - FOUR PAWS in US - Global Animal Protection Organization

17

The Bear, The Squirrel, and the Walnuts

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Could humans hibernate like bears? – The Hill

It had been a fairly warm winter, and Sammy Bear was restless. He tried shifting hibernation positions several times, but could not get back into a deep sleep. Finally, he decided to get up before he woke up his wife Sandra. He stumbled out to the front of the den and realized that he was hungry.

Winter means hibernation for some — but not all — of Kodiak's bears

Sammy rummaged around the den, but there wasn’t anything to eat. He looked outside. There was a little snow, but nothing to stop him from having a look around. He slowly walked out. He had never been out of the den during the winter before. It was very quiet in the woods. He didn’t really like the cold on his feet. Sammy hoped he could find something quickly and get back to bed.

Find Out What Bears Really Do In The Woods | Idaho Fish and Game

He sniffed the bushes. Nothing there. Not a leftover berry in sight. No grubs or bugs either. No wonder we sleep all winter, he thought. There must be something out here. He wandered a little further from the den. Suddenly his nose started twitching.

How Do Black Bears Respond to Wind? - North American Bear CenterNorth American Bear Center

Nuts! He could smell walnuts. Sammy loved walnuts. He looked around and didn’t see anything. He walked toward the smell and discovered a rotten tree with a hole in it. He reached in and grabbed a pawful of walnuts. Bonanza!

U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service - Black bears are common across many parts of the United States. They are resourceful omnivores that eat meat, berries, insects, nuts, seeds, plant roots, and pretty

Sammy ate several pawsful of the walnuts. They were delicious.

🔥 cute squirrel family : r/NatureIsFuckingLit

Meanwhile, Gerald Squirrel was conferring with his family.

Gerald: It looks like it’s going to be a good winter for us. Everybody’s healthy, and we should have plenty to eat.

Wendy: Yes, we were very fortunate that we found all of those nuts at the end of the season. They’ll last until the weather improves.

Sally: Do you think they’ll be safe in that old tree?

Gerald: I’m sure they’ll be fine. Everyone knows they belong to us.

Randy: I’d feel better if we brought them closer to the nest. You never know what might happen.

Wendy: He’s right. They are quite a long way from here. We should bring them closer to home.

Gerald: I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to move them. We don’t want to have to traipse all the way over there if we get a storm.

Late-Season Squirrels

The squirrels decided to spend the day moving their nuts. They raced over to the old tree.

Wendy: Do you see that? There’s a bear at our tree!

Randy: And he’s eating our nuts.

Sally: What are we going to do?

Gerald: We have to tell him to get away from our nuts.

Eastern Gray Squirrel Running Photograph by Philippe Henry - Fine Art America

Gerald started to run up to the bear, but Wendy stopped him.

Wendy: Are you crazy? That bear will eat you next.

Gerald: Bears don’t eat squirrels.

Wendy: He might. He’s not supposed to be awake right now.

Randy: Yeah. He’s probably a crazy bear.

Squirrel II | Grey squirrel sitting up having noticed me. | Lawrence OP | Flickr

Gerald hesitated.

Gerald: Do you think so? He doesn’t look crazy. He’s just sitting there eating nuts. Our nuts.

Sally: I think we should let him have the nuts.

Gerald: What are we supposed to eat? We worked hard getting those nuts.

Wendy: It’s not worth getting eaten.

Gerald: He’s not going to eat us.

angry squirrel - The Hollywood Gossip

The squirrels sat down and watched Sammy. He was certainly enjoying the walnuts. Gerald became more and more frustrated. Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore. Gerald ran straight toward Sammy, chattering wildly. The other squirrels watched in horror. Gerald stopped in front of Sammy.

Gerald: Look here, bear. Those are our nuts, and you have no right to them. Stop eating immediately!

523 Confused Bear Stock Photos, Pictures & Royalty-Free Images - iStock

Sammy looked at Gerald in confusion. He couldn’t understand a word the squirrel was saying. He had always been bad at other languages, and the squirrel was speaking very quickly. He could tell that Gerald was upset about something.

Sammy: Hello, little squirrel. What’s wrong? Would you like a nut?

PsBattle: These overly friendly bears : r/photoshopbattles

Sammy held out his paw with a walnut. Gerald didn’t know what to do. He looked at the other squirrels but they had disappeared. He was alone with the big bear.

Which is Worse? Senior or Spring Rates? - JJKeegan+

Next week: Can the bear and the squirrel be friends and share the walnuts?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

28

Sgt Stripes’ First Christmas

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Hello everyone! Sgt Stripes here. I’m still living upstairs, but it’s come to my attention that something major is going on. They brought up a little green tree and put it on my dresser. It doesn’t taste very good. Mom says it’s my Christmas tree.

I asked Mr. Google about Christmas trees. He says humans decorate them for the holiday. Mom didn’t decorate mine. She said she was afraid I was going to try to eat the decorations. I wouldn’t have eaten them unless they tasted better than the tree.

This is my first year inside. I don’t really know what Christmas is all about. There’s a much bigger tree downstairs but I can’t go down there. The lady cats are still kind of afraid of me. Mom and my human brother are trying to work that out. I’m sorry I’m going to miss the big tree. It would probably be fun to climb. And all kinds of sparkly things to play with. It’s wasted on the other cats.

I have a stocking. It’s kind of weird. It’s way too big for my paws. There’s nothing in it. Mom says that Santa Paws is going to put presents in it. I’m pretty excited. I’ve never had presents before. Mom helped me pick out presents for my new human brother and sister. This is going to be so much fun!

There’s a lot of wrapping paper and ribbons and bags and stuff laying around too. So much stuff to play with! Holidays are the best!

Mom says the little humans are going to be spending the night on Christmas Eve. Their parents are going to be sharing my room. I’m not really sure I like that. The little ones scared me the last time they were here. I think I might hide out in Mom’s room until they go.

We’re supposed to be getting special food. Yummy! The humans are having a goose. I hope I get some of that. Apparently, they aren’t serving any of my favorites from outside. But their stuff should be good too.

I hope all of you have a wonderful Christmas. (Or at least a very nice weekend if you don’t celebrate Christmas.)

19

Chloe Cat’s Christmas Guest – Part 2

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80 Cats Who Use Dogs As Pillows | Bored Panda

Where we are: Chloe is home from college on Christmas break. She has brought her friend Sasha with her. Her family knew Sasha was coming, but Chloe had neglected to tell them that he was a large dog. Christmas Eve dinner has become rather tense. You can read Part 1 here.

Mama Cat has brought Grandma some cream to help her get over her fainting spell. Grandma seems rather confused.

Giant Tibetan Mastiff 'As Big As a Bear' Goes Viral Trying to Get Into Car

Grandma: I must be going crazy. I thought I saw a huge dog in your living room.

Mama: No, you’re not crazy. Chloe brought home a dog.

Grandma: Why would she do that? We’re cats. Some of us are afraid of dogs.

Gretchen: Especially some of us smaller kitties. He might eat us.

Mama: I’m sure Chloe’s friend won’t eat us. Although I really wish she had mentioned it before he showed up at the door.

Angry Cat: 14 Signs Your Cat Is Mad at You — Fighting Cats

They heard a loud voice in the front room.

Uncle Charley: See here, dog. You can’t come in here and scare the living daylights out of decent cats.

Raphael: Don’t get too excited Uncle Charley, you don’t want to have a heart attack or something.

Uncle Charley: I’m not going to have a heart attack. I just want this dog to know that I’ve been around, and I can take care of myself. He needs to behave himself.

Sasha: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare anyone.

Chloe: Why is everyone so excited? Sasha’s a dog. So what? We’re all civilized cats.

Regina: Maybe it’s because you said you were bringing home a boy. We all expected a handsome mancat. Instead you bring home a huge doggo. Extremely disappointing.

Sophie: We thought you finally had a social life.

Chloe: I do have a social life. Sasha is my friend. I asked if I could bring home a friend for Christmas.

Gretchen: You’re not actually dating a dog are you?

Are Dogs Smarter than Cats? | Britannica

Chloe: What if I am?

Aunt Mildred: Dear, I know you’re not the most attractive kitty in the bunch, but even so…

Mama: Mildred! Sasha is our guest. And who Chloe dates really isn’t any of your business.

Papa Cat’s nose had been twitching. 

Can Dogs Eat Fish? - Ollie Blog

Papa: Sasha! I couldn’t help noticing. Did you bring something to add to the Christmas feast?

Sasha: Indeed I did. I asked Chloe what cats ate for Christmas. She said that you were having chicken, but that fish is always welcome. So I went to the market and got a bunch of smoked mackerel. I hope you will accept it with my appreciation for being welcomed.

Papa: Well, I’m not sure that you’re feeling very welcome, but your fish smells delicious.

Sasha: I didn’t realize I would be so much larger than everyone else. It never crossed my mind that I could be scary. I’m just a big goofball in my own family.

Papa: A lot of these cats have never met a dog up close before. I think they were mainly surprised.

Your Cat Might Not Be Ignoring You When You Speak - The New York Times

Sasha looked around and saw that the cats were watching him. They weren’t looking as startled as they had been which he took as a good sign. Grandma and Uncle Charley were talking in the corner. Finally, Grandma came over.

Grandma: Hello, Sasha.

Sasha: Hello, ma’am. I’m very sorry I frightened you. I hope you are feeling better.

Grandma: I am, thank you. So you’re a friend of Chloe’s?

Sasha: Yes, I am. She’s a very sweet girl.

Grandma: You’re right. Are you her boyfriend?

How to Get Your Cats to Be Best Friends

Sasha (embarrassed): No, ma’am, we’re regular friends.

Grandma: Do you want to be her boyfriend?

Chloe: Grandma! You’re embarrassing me! Sasha is a friend from school.

Grandma: I just want to make sure he’s not going to break your heart. You really can’t trust anyone who’s not a cat. And you can’t trust all cats.

Sasha: Don’t worry. I’m not going to hurt Chloe. I like her too much for that.

Chloe rubbed up against him and purred.

What are the signs of feline friendship? – PoC

Grandma: I don’t know. That looks like more than friends.

Chloe: Don’t worry, Grandma. I’ll be fine.

Mama Cat had been putting the finishing touches on dinner. She added Sasha’s fish to her own food. It all smelled delicious.

Mama: Everyone, it’s time to eat.

They sat down and began to eat. Uncle Charley kept drinking the catnip punch, and became more and more vocal. He was looking directly at Sasha while he was telling a story about fighting another cat for one of the many loves of his life. 

Two Cats 'Fighting Respectfully' Have Internet in Hysterics

Uncle Charley: Sasha, have you ever fought for love?

Sasha: Can’t say that I have.

Uncle Charley: Would you be willing to fight for Chloe?

Sasha: I think that Chloe can defend herself. Cats are excellent fighters.

Uncle Charley: I meant fight for her love.

Chloe: Uncle Charley, we’re not in love.

Uncle Charley: Then why is he here?

Chloe and Sasha looked at each other. Finally, he nodded.

DOE expands therapy dogs program in city schools

Chloe: Sasha is a friend of mine from Chemistry. He told me about a class he’s taking in Cat Psychology. He said that he was having trouble understanding how cats think. I asked him if he wanted to spend some time with my family and see how we get along.

Sasha: I thought it was a great idea, but that it would only work if you didn’t know I was doing research. That way you would all behave normally. So we decided that I would just come as her friend.

Chloe: I didn’t realize that everyone would think I was bringing home a boyfriend.

Sasha: I’m sorry I upset everyone. I’ll leave after dinner.

Clowder is the appropriate term for a group of cats. | Crazy cat lady meme, Crazy cats, Cats

The cats looked at each other. There were a few minutes of silence.

Mama: That makes a lot more sense than any other explanation. I don’t know if you will get the information you need, but you are welcome to stay.

Papa: Absolutely! I can teach you how cats hunt.

Uncle Charley: And I’ll teach you how we fight.

And that is how a very large dog got the best grade in his Cat Psychology class.

Cat Christmas Dinner | Finding the Perfect Recipe | Bella & Duke

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

22

Chloe Cat’s Christmas Guest

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300+ Free Christmas Cat & Christmas Images - Pixabay

Mama Cat had been working hard for days getting everything ready for Christmas. She was having a big family dinner on Christmas Eve. It was the first time the whole family had been together in several years. The best part was that her daughter Chloe was coming home from college for the first time since the beginning of the school year. And she was bringing a friend. A male friend!

Mama Cat: I’m so excited to see Chloe! It’s been months since she’s been home.

Papa Cat: I’ve really missed her. She’s my little buddy. I hope we get a chance to go hunting while she’s home.

Mama Cat: I wouldn’t count on it. She’s bringing a boy home. She’ll probably want to spend all her time with him.

Cats R Cool 4 Back to School - oregonlive.com

Regina: Don’t you think it’s a little weird that she never talks about him? We don’t really know anything except that she met him in her Chemistry class.

Sophie: Yeah. So we know that he’s probably a nerd like she is.

Mama Cat: Be nice, girls. She’s never brought anyone home before. It must be serious.

Papa Cat: How serious can it be? She’s only been gone four months.

Mama: We need to be nice to him. He’s going to be staying here for a few days.

17 Pets Who Can't Believe You Aren't Taking Them On Your Trip - The Dodo

Meanwhile, Chloe was preparing to go home.

Chloe: Sasha, are you ready to leave yet?

Sasha: Not quite finished packing. Are you sure I’ll be welcome?

Chloe: Absolutely. My family is great! Mama says they’re really excited about meeting you.

Sasha: What have you told them?

Chloe: Just that I met you in Chemistry, and that we’ve become good friends. And that I wanted to bring you home for the holidays so you wouldn’t be alone.

Sasha: Do they think I’m your boyfriend?

Chloe: It never really came up.

Cat Signals for Expressing Happiness and Mood

Sasha rubbed his head against Chloe and she purred.

Chloe: Okay. We’ll leave mid-morning. Remember, we have to be there by 2 pm. Mama doesn’t want anyone to be late for dinner. And I haven’t seen them in months so I don’t want to miss anything.

Sasha: Don’t worry. I’ll be ready bright and early.

Christmas Eve was a beautiful day. Sunny and cold. The family started gathering around noon. Grandma and Grandpa were the first to arrive. As usual, Grandma had brought her favorite catnip cookies.

US embassy apologises after mistakenly sending Cookie Monster cat invitation | Canberra | The Guardian

Sophie: Yummy! One of the best parts of Christmas.

Grandma: Is Chloe here? I can’t wait to see her. I hear she finally has a beau.

Mama: Mother! Don’t embarrass her. She’s calling him a friend. We have to be nice.

Grandma: I’m going to be nice. It’s just good to see she finally has a social life.

Mama: Mother —

I prefer the unneutered male cat appearance – PoC

Uncle Charley was next. He was a little eccentric. Rather conservative and prone to speaking his mind.

Papa: Charley! Good to see you. How are things?

Uncle Charley: Not bad. Glad to see the elections are finally over. Didn’t see too many dogs or other lowlifes voted into office this time. Maybe we’re finally back on track to getting things back under control.

Regina: Uncle Charley, would you like some milk or some water?

Uncle Charley: Do you have anything stronger?

Mama: I was going to make some punch if anyone wanted it.

Uncle Charley: The good stuff with catnip AND silver vine?

Mama: That’s the one. I’ll go get started.

Group shot of a pack of kitties ❤ #grouppicture #kittens #cats #adorablecats | Cute cats, Cats, Cute cat memes

While Mama was in the kitchen, most of the rest of the family arrived. There were about 20 cats in the extended family, and everyone had come. Except Chloe.

Mama: I wonder where Chloe is. I told her not to be late.

Just then, the doorbell rang. 

Mama: How odd. Who would that be?

Sophie: I see Chloe’s suitcase out front. Maybe she has a surprise.

25 Giant Dog Breeds — Huge Dogs | Reader's Digest

Mama opened the door and saw Chloe’s surprise guest. She could barely speak.

Mama: Welcome to our home; you must be Sasha.

Sasha: Indeed, I am. Thank you for having me.

The others heard voices but couldn’t recognize the accented words. Sophie ran up.

Sophie: Oh my cats! You’re a dog!!

Sasha: Why, yes I am.

Dogs That Are Good With Cats: Breeds That Tend to Do Well With Felines

Sasha was the largest dog she had ever seen. And he was standing in the doorway to her house. Her father stepped up.

Papa: Sasha, please come in.

Sasha stepped into the room and looked around the room full of cats. He wasn’t sure whether to be amused or frightened. Chloe was still paying the driver and getting their things organized. Finally she came up.

Chloe: Hello everyone. I see you’ve met Sasha.

Her grandmother had been in another room. She came out when she heard Chloe’s voice, took one look at Sasha and fainted. Uncle Charley arched his back and began to hiss. Sasha looked like he wanted to head for the door. He wasn’t sure what to do with the box of smoked fish he was holding.

Next week: Will the family have a Merry Christmas? You can read the conclusion here. 

Christmas Cat Pictures | Download Free Images on Unsplash