15

Cats Christmas Shopping

Snoops: Hey guys. It’s time to get our presents for the humans.

Sgt Stripes: Why are we getting them presents?

Snoops: It’s almost Christmas. I thought maybe this year we should all get together and get one gift for each human.

Onyx: I think the gift of me should be sufficient.

Gypsy: What’s that supposed to mean?

Angel: You know she’s always on a princess vibe. She probably thinks her mere presence is a gift.

Onyx: Well, I am an emotional support cat. Besides, for the first couple of years I pretty much stayed up in Blondie’s room. Now I’ve joined everyone else downstairs. So the humans can all enjoy the house panther.

Gypsy: You mean chasing the house panther. You’re so clueless you went out on the inside porch and almost got frozen.

Onyx: That little blonde kid let me in.

Snoops: Ladies, let’s focus. I was thinking more of buying something for the humans.

Sgt Stripes: I know how to use Mr Google. I bet he can help us find stuff.

Gypsy: What are we using for money?

Sgt Stripes: I’ve been watching when Mom buys stuff. All she has to do is press a button and stuff comes to the house.

Snoops: Hmm. He’s right. I’ve seen her do it too.

Sgt Stripes: I think Snoops is right. We should get the humans gifts. I was listening to the humans talk. I’m pretty sure they’re getting us something good. Mom said something about extra money and new cat tree.

Angel: Really? That would be great. I could get away from Sgt Stripes when he wants to play pounce.

Snoops: Excellent point. If we’re sitting in a tree, we could swat at him.

Sgt Stripes: Seriously? Why can’t you guys try playing with me? It would be fun. Ask Gypsy. She’s a lot of fun for a girl cat.

Gypsy: Thank you, Sarge. What kind of gifts are you thinking about, Snoops?

Snoops: I have two favorite spots: Chewy and PetSmart. They’re not really pets, so I think we should look at Chewy.

Sgt Stripes: Excellent idea! That’s one of the places that fill in the payment. Let’s ask Mr. Google to take us there.

Angel: They have a lot of choices. How do we know where to start?

Onyx: I know! One of the small humans likes to curl up in that big cat bed upstairs. We can get one for each of them.

Snoops: That sounds like a good idea. What else do they have?

Sgt Stripes: It’s sorted by type of animal. Nothing says humans.

Gypsy: I saw them use kitty litter to get the car unstuck in the snow. Let’s get them some of that.

Snoops: How about a litter mat? Maybe they’ll stop tracking snow inside. I hate stepping on it with bare paws.

Onyx: And maybe some treats. i wonder if they come in lentil. That seems to be a favorite.

Snoops:You’re going to have to look in the dog section. No self-respecting cat would eat those.

Sgt Stripes: I see sweet potato, carrots, and kale.

Angel: That sounds terrible.

Sgt Stripes: There’s one that has super foods in it.

Angel: What’s a super food?

Sgt Stripes: I have no idea. But I think we should get them. Nothing’s too good for our humans.

Snoops: That sounds like a good selection. Let’s do it.

Onyx: I agree.

The other cats nodded.

Gypsy: Now we have to figure out how to get it in the house and hide it until Christmas.

14

Beaverbrook Christmas Tree Farm

         

The Beaverbrook Christmas Tree Farm had been in DW Kasto’s family for generations. They were builders during the warm months and ran the farm up until it was time to settle in for the winter. They prided themselves on having the best selection of trees in all of Cheeseland. The day after Thanksgiving was always their busiest day with everyone hoping to get the perfect tree. DW and his sons Calvin and Elbert ran the tree operation. His wife, Doreen and the other ladies ran the shop and bakery. The smells of pine and cinnamon were everywhere.

This year was no different. Early in the morning, the lot was already full of families looking at this year’s trees. It was a cold, sunny day. Perfect for tree shopping.

Katia Kali: Ooh Mama! Look at all of the trees. How many do you think there are?

Mama Kali: I don’t know sweetie. (She was looking at the price tags. It was cheaper to buy one of the pre-cut trees. But that wasn’t as much fun as showing the beavers which tree they had selected.)

Katia Kali: Look at the pretty ones over here. Can we get one of these?

The Kastos had tipped some of the trees in silver or gold. They were in a separate display. It was all rather overwhelming for a small cat.

Mama Kali: Are you sure you don’t want to go out and look for one the beavers can cut for us?

Katia Kali: No, I want this one. I’m already cold.

Mama Kali: Okay. I’ll take the tag to the counter so we can pay.

The payment counter was inside the shop. The shop was filled with ornaments and other Christmas decorations. There was also steamed cream, flavored waters, and all types of baked goods.

Katia Kali: Mama, can I get an ornament? Or a catnip cookie? Or a wreath?

Before Mama Kali had a chance to answer, a very large, very angry Forest Cat ran in. It was chasing a frightened dog of uncertain lineage..

Forest Cat: Who’s in charge here?

Doreen Kasto: I’m the owner. What seems to be the problem?

Forest Cat: I brought my two little daughters to pick out a tree. We were looking at one tree, and this animal came up and “marked it,” if you know what I mean. It was disgusting. Do you really allow that type of behavior.

Dog: My name is Maurice, and I am a waiter at a fine dining establishment. I am not an “animal”.

Forest Cat: Fine, Maurice. You relieved yourself in front of my little girls, right on the tree we were looking at.

Maurice: That is why I felt the need to stake my claim I was also interested in that tree.

Doreen noticed that a crowd was growing, and she really didn’t know what to do. She called DW and asked him to come inside.At the same time, a very agitated rabbit spoke up.

Rabbit: I know you. You’re the same dog that marked my tree. I can’t take it home smelling of dog.

Maurice: You act like that’s a bad thing. I’ll have you know that I am a very clean dog.

DW Kasto: What’s going on here?

Doreen Kasto: It seems that this dog has been marking trees.

Maurice: How else will I remember which tree to have cut down?

DW Kasto: That sounds reasonable.

Stella Squirrel: How many trees were you planning to buy? I saw you marking at least four.

Maurice: I was having trouble making up my mind. i didn’t want to lose track of the ones I was considering.

Forest Cat: Ugh. No one else is going to want a tree that smells of you. And you think it’s reasonable, DW?

DW Kastro: I didn’t realize he’s done it more than once. That is unacceptable. I’m afraid you’ll need to leave Maurice.

Maurice: What about my tree? I should be able to get my tree. No one told me I couldn’t mark more than one tree. It’s not posted anywhere.

DW Kasto: You need to leave. Now.

Maurice: This is an outrage. I’m going to tell everyone how unfairly I was treated. I have over 1,500 followers on AnimalWire. You’ll regret this.

DW Kasto: My apologies to everyone. Please enjoy your trip to Beaverbrook.

Mama Kali: Let’s pay for the tree and get out of here Katia. We can make cookies when we get home.

Images created in ChatGPT and Copilot.

21

The Power of Angel’s Healing Paws

Blondie recently had another foot surgery. As such, she’s living downstairs until further notice. Angel has used  this opportunity to use her healing powers. Today’s interview is with Sgt Stripes, and is focused on Angel’s healing ways. 

Sgt Stripes: “So, Angel, I have to admit, I didn’t think you’d ever be in a position to be interviewed!” 

Angel: “Why not? I’m beautiful, I’m brilliant. Honestly, I should be featured more often.”

Sgt Stripes: “Yes, but you’re also notorious for not having a human.”

Angel: “That’s not my fault. Onyx stole Blondie before I could.”

Sgt Stripes: “Lately, Onyx has been ignoring Blondie.” 

Angel: “Exactly! So I’m using this chance to not only use my healing paws power, but also to get a human!” 

Sgt Stripes: “Tell us a little about your healing paws power.”

Angel: “It’s pretty cool. Whenever a human is hurt or sick, I just have to sit on them and purr. And magically, they start to heal!” 

Sgt Stripes: “That is pretty cool. What’s your current routine?”

Angel: “Well, I mostly work overnights. Blondie insists on going into the office daily.”

Sgt Stripes: “That sounds pretty annoying.” 

Angel: “It is. I could do so much more if she would just stay home! But our routine is pretty much, she gets home and has dinner. Then she reads to the little humans. I avoid the little humans, so I’m not around for that part. But then comes my favorite part of the night; the little humans go upstairs, and Blondie settles down on the couch!” 

Sgt Stripes: “What’s so cool about Blondie being on the couch?”

Angel: “Well, she’s sleeping down here currently, so I get to cuddle with her. I’ve never had a human to cuddle with. It’s really nice.”

Sgt Stripes: “That it is. So that’s it? You just cuddle with her?”

Angel: “No, I also purr, give her kitty kisses and head bonks, and, of course, I share in her snacks. I work hard; I deserve a treat.” 

Sgt Stripes: “How did you know she needed your healing paws power?”

Angel: “Well, she came home one day last week, and the tall human had to carry her in. Her foot is in this huge cast/boot thing, and she can’t walk. She has a roller to get around on. And she moved all of her stuff into the living room because she’s living on the couch. That was a pretty good indicator that my services were needed.” 

Sgt Stripes: “I see. So what happens when she can walk again? Will you join her upstairs?”

Angel: “I haven’t decided. I don’t really like going upstairs. But I really like having a human.”

Sgt Stripes: “Are you worried you’ll have to chase Onyx off?”

Angel: “Not really. Onyx has been really aloof lately. Her loss is my gain!” 

Sgt Stripes: “What’s the difference between healing paws and simple cuddles?”

Angel: “Simple cuddles are for a short period of time, and may not include kneading, head bonks, snack sharing, or kitty kisses. Healing paws offers a deeper connection and a stronger bond to your injured or ill human. 

Sgt Stripes: “Well, thank you for your time today, Angel. I’ll let you get back to your healing duties.” 

Angel: “Thanks, Sarge. You’re pretty cool to talk to.”

22

Welcome to the Neighborhood

Cats Follow Me Into The Front Yard

Herb and Marj had just moved into their new home. They had wanted to move into an inter-species neighborhood with good schools to raise their kittens. After much searching, they thought they had found the perfect place in Whispering Pines. They moved into a nice bungalow that had been owned by a hound couple. They were starting to unpack when they heard a knock at the door. They opened it to find a squirrel standing there.

Talking Squirrel - Apps on Google Play

Harry: Hello folks! Welcome to the neighborhood. I’m Harry, and I live right across the street.

Herb: Hello, it’s nice to meet you. I’m Herb, and this is my wife, Marj.

Harry: The pleasure is mine. I see you bought the Bassetts’ place. Lovely couple. I’m sure you’ll find everything in great shape. They were very happy here.

Marj: It does seem very well-kept. Did they move?

Why Try Catnip On Your Cat? And How It Works. | Preventive Vet

Harry: It was kind of strange. They were such a beautiful couple. One day they were here, the next they were gone. No one guessed that they were running an illegal catnip operation.

Marj: Oh my. What is illegal catnip? You can buy it at any store.

Harry: I don’t really know. This was very high-grade stuff. Sometimes cats would come and you wouldn’t see them come out for hours.

Herb: This used to be a catnip den? For getting blissed out for hours.

Cat | Breeds, Origins, History, Body Types, Senses, Behavior, & Heredity |  Britannica

Harry: That’s the rumor. I’m sure they cleaned it up before they sold the place to you.

Herb: What about the clients? Do they know the place has been sold?

Harry: I’m not sure. I wouldn’t worry about it. They all seemed like decent folks.

Marj: I guess we’ll see about that.

How to make your garden hedgehog-friendly

They hear another knock. They open the door to find a hedgehog.

Penelope: Hello. I’m your next-door neighbor, Penelope.

Herb: Hello. It’s very nice to meet you. Is everyone this friendly here?

Penelope: Pretty much so. A few animals were thinking that we should start limiting the number of some of the species, so we don’t end up with too many cats or dogs. But I think that whoever wants to live here should be allowed to live here.

This Hedgehog and Cat make the cutest pair! The Odd Couples

Marj: Some of our neighbors didn’t want cats moving in?

Penelope: Well, it’s nothing personal. I’m sure it will be fine for you.

Marj: No one told us that cats might not be welcome. I thought all species were welcome her.

Harry: Don’t listen to her. She just likes to talk.

Two baby hedgehogs are standing on a ledge, looking at the camera. Scene is  playful and cute 49857231 Stock Photo at Vecteezy

There’s a light tapping at the door.

Penelope: That must be Lisette. She’s my sister. She lives over a couple of streets.

Lisette: Hi! I’m Penelope’s sister, Lisette. I wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood.

Marj: Thank you. Do any of you have children? The main reason we moved here was because of the schools.

Domestic cat kittens playing in garden - Stock Image - C041/6994 - Science  Photo Library

Lisette: Oh yes. Penny and I both have little ones.

Marj: Oh, that’s wonderful! Where do they play? Is there a park close by?

Penelope: Well, there is a park. But we don’t really spend much time there.

Marj: Why not?

cheetah ready to pounce

Lisette: Some of the bigger animals like to play a game they call “Pounce”. It involves them jumping out at the little ones. We can’t get them to understand that the smaller animals don’t want to feel like prey.

Herb: There should be rules against that.

Lisette: Apparently it’s not against the rules unless they actually jump on someone. It’s rather scary for the little ones.

Herb: I can imagine. Is this a pretty quiet neighborhood?

I hear coyotes howling. Does that mean they have just killed something? -  Why do coyotes howl and yip? | Urban Coyote Research

Harry: Oh yes. No one is allowed to make loud noises from sundown to sunrise.

Penelope: Except it only really applies to machines and music.

Marj: What other type of noise would their be?

Lisette: They don’t really think of it as noise, but the canines are allowed to howl whenever they feel the need.

Scared Cats - What to Know and What to Do - Edmonton Vet | Gateway  Veterinary Centre

Marj: That sounds rather frightening.

Harry: It’s really not bad once you get used to it.

The animals talk for a while longer before leaving Herb and Marj. After they say their good-byes, Herb and Marj look at each other.

Herb: I wonder if it’s too late to change our minds.

How to Introduce Two Cats: A Step-by-Step Guide for a Peaceful Transition -  Perfect Petzzz

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

24

The Big Chill (Feline Edition)

Greetings everyone. It’s me, Snoops. It seems like a very long time since I’ve talked with you. It seems like every time I start to say something, someone…

Sgt Stripes: What’re you up to Snoops? Not trying to hijack the blog are you?

Snoops: How could I hijack it? I started it. With Kommando, remember?

Sgt Stripes: Not really. I wasn’t around then.

Snoops: My point. Exactly.

Sgt Stripes: But she’s gone. And I’ve taken her place, right?

Snoops (growling): You have not taken her place, you big goofball. No one can take her place.

Sgt Stripes: Don’t get mad, Snoops. I didn’t mean it like that.

Snoops: What did you mean?

Sgt Stripes: Don’t you remember? You added me as co-owner of the blog.

Snoops: Yes, I did. What’s your point?

Sgt Stripes: I just wanted to know what you were going to talk about?

Snoops: I was going to tell everyone about the barely tolerable living conditions the past week or so.

Gypsy: You mean how we almost froze to death?

Angel: It really was unacceptable.

Onyx: Especially for us smaller cats.

Sgt Stripes: And it went on for days.

Gypsy: Did you hear Mom’s extremely lame excuse? She said she wasn’t really paying attention because it’s not that late in the season. Snoops, apparently your original human didn’t really believe in turning on the heat until November 1, regardless of the weather. That’s downright inhumane.

Sgt Stripes: Then when my humans was complaining about it, she told him that he’d have to wait until she could call the repairman in the morning. And he was already sick!

Snoops: It gets even worse. When she called in, she said it wasn’t an emergency. We had to wait four more days for them to come. Something about needing to take time off work.

Gypsy: She didn’t take any time off work. She brought the work here. She could have done that any time. It was really cold!

Sgt Stripes: I don’t think the humans really understood how bad it was. They were gone during the day and had blankets and electric paw warmers.

Snoops: I think Mom finally understood on the day she stayed home waiting for the guy to fix everything. It was only 48 degrees inside she said. And her handwriting was really bad because of it. I don’t know what any of that means, but she was a lot more sympathetic to us.

Sgt Stripes: She even got blankets for each of the kitties.

Angel: We shared.

Gypsy: I would get a good spot, then you’d kick me out.

Angel: Then Sarge would kick me out. It’s a good thing there were enough to go around.

Snoops: I spent that last day on her lap. I was helping her work.

Onyx: It was a really pretty day. I was sunning in the window.

Snoops: Until you decided that you wanted to sit on the inside porch.

Onyx: What’s wrong with that?

Snoops: When Mom opened the door for the repairman, you took off outside again.

Gypsy: Mom was not pleased.

Angel: The guy was really upset. He tried to help her bring you back.

Onyx: She’s way too slow for me. It was a beautiful day.

Gypsy: So why’d you come back in?

Onyx: The repairman was really nice. I thought he’d give me treats. But he brought me back inside. Then I got locked in the study for the rest of the time he was here. It was humiliating. I don’t think Mom trusted me after that.

Snoops: I can’t imagine why.

Gypsy: At least it got fixed.

Sgt Stripes: I heard the guy talking to Mom. It needs something called a thermostat. I guess a lot of humans need them because he had to order one.

Snoops: So why did it get warmer?

Sgt Stripes: He did some kind of adjustment and showed Mom what to do in case it goes off again.

Gypsy: So there’s still a chance we could all freeze to death.

Onyx: That is really annoying.

21

Onyx Dishes the Dirt

Hello Everyone. It’s me, Onyx. I saw that Gypsy and Angel were talking about me last week. I’m here to set the record straight. It is true that I got out of the house a few times while the weather was still warm. But I’m not the same cat who moved in here a couple of years ago.

Blondie rescued me from the Humane Society when I was young. We bonded and were pretty much inseparable at our old place. It was a good life. But it was loud and crowded. None of us really minded getting more space. Gypsy was a little overwhelmed, but she finally seems to be relaxing a bit.

After we had to move out, both Blondie and I were pretty traumatized, and we stuck together. When she had to go to the hospital the first year, I stayed in our room almost entirely. I generally ignored the “upstairs cats,” Sgt Stripes and Gypsy. I just hung out and waited.

By this summer, I was a lot braver. I started to go into Mom’s room and let her give me pets and treats. Blondie was gone for a long time. I decided it was time to explore the rest of the house. I really liked it on the freezer in the laundry room. I could watch everything from on high.

I’ve been making a lot of changes. I even eat wet food once in a while. I’ve discovered I like fish a lot. I like hanging out in the kitchen. You never know when something yummy is going to appear.

But enough about me. I have things to tell you about all of the cats. The really big news is that Sgt Stripes and Gypsy are a “thing.” They got close when they were both upstairs. But she’s the only one who really bonded with him out of all of us lady cats.

Gypsy has gotten pretty close with Snoops too. When Mom works from home, they tag-team so that one of them is always in her lap. And they don’t even hiss at each other to move. Gypsy has never been social. It’s weird/

Gypsy’s really spoiled. The heat is off in the house. (It’s supposed to be fixed on Tuesday – whatever that is.) Mom put a towel in a clothes basket so Gypsy wouldn’t get cold. Nobody offered me a blanket.

And that big tabby has stolen my prime spot on the freezer. One day, he just bounced out and took it. He’s done the same thing with my eating spot in the kitchen. He just jumps up and sits there in my spot. He is so rude! Mom told me to just ignore him, that he’s really gentle. She wouldn’t want someone three times her size to take her seat.

I can’t forget Angel. She’s pretty much okay. She really wants my spot with Blondie. She hangs out with her when they watch TV in the living room. Blondie is having foot surgery again soon, so she’ll be staying downstairs for awhile. I need to make sure Angel doesn’t steal my human entirely.

I think the last thing is that Snoops fell asleep on guard duty the other day. She was supposed to be making sure the cookies got safely put away. I guess she got bored. It was pretty funny to watch. At least she hasn’t fallen asleep on mouse patrol. She really is the only excellent mouser in the group.

I guess that’s all the news here. Hope you enjoyed the rundown.

24

Onyx is NOT a Most Excellent Kitty

Gypsy: It looks like someone wants to turn the Belleville Three into the Belleville Two.

Angel: What do you mean? We’re finally getting along. I haven’t hissed at you in a long time.

Gypsy: Not you. Onyx. She’s acting like she wants to break up the team.

Angel: She has been acting a little weird, even for her. I thought when Blondie got home she’d disappear upstairs. But she’s been sleeping on the freezer or the bag of paper towels.

Gypsy: She even comes out for breakfast.

Angel: Yeah, and she doesn’t even eat wet food. She’s got Mom trained to give her treats in the morning.

Gypsy: Did you see what happened this morning?

Angel: You mean sitting in the sink?

Gypsy: Mom gave her a bowl of water in the sink so she would stop licking the faucet. Like she’s too good to share with the rest of us.

Angel: She’s not used to sharing. She used to stay in Blondie’s room all the time. She had everything to herself.

Gypsy: She’s giving up a pretty sweet deal. She was always treated like she was better than us.

Angel: It’s strange that she’s started going outside too. She’s been an indoor kitty her whole life. 

Gypsy: It’s pretty rude, if you ask me. Blondie spent her time away missing Onyx, and now Onyx is pretty much ignoring her.

Angel: Can you believe that she got out last Friday, and no one realized that she wasn’t just being anti-social? In the past, there would have been a massive cat hunt until someone found her.

Gypsy: Yeah. She had to come back herself the next day. Blondie was pretty frantic looking for her.

Angel: In the humans’ defense, she got out when it was dark and no one saw her leave. It’s been crazy around here. 

Gypsy: And the small humans still need some training. The big humans know to close the inside porch door before they open the house door, but the little humans can’t see to get it coordinated when they come home.

Angel: And it takes forever for them to go in or out. One little human opens one door and keeps it open while the other one comes in. They don’t seem to understand they are part of the problem, not part of the solution.

Gypsy: Yesterday, one of them opened the door and went outside by himself when Mom drove up. Onyx was right behind him. Mom and Blondie had to track her down with treats. And she was really crabby when she got back in.

Angel: She is fast. And persistent. This morning Mom had to hold her back when our human brother went out. Twice.

Gypsy: Mom gave Onyx treats right before she left so she’d be preoccupied.

Angel: That’s a pretty good trick. She’s used it on Sarge too.

Gypsy: He’s not as dedicated to getting out as Onyx is.

Angel: I think Onyx is kinda dumb. It’s starting to get cold. Why would she want to go outside?

Gypsy: Agreed. The warm stuff is inside. And so is the food.

Angel: I wonder if she’s still Blondie’s favorite. She’s getting to be pretty high maintenance. She’s always been pretty annoying to the rest of us cats. Now she’s trying it on the humans.

Gypsy: Probably. She still has the small humans, and they are extremely high maintenance.

Angel: Good point. Onyx probably just enjoys seeing the humans chasing after her.

Gypsy: We are the only two who haven’t tried to escape this fall. That has to be good for our House Cat ranking.

Angel: Excellent point.

17

The Strategic Kibble Reserve

Free Photos | Cats having a meeting

We stumbled into a meeting of Felines for a Better World, a shadowy group of some of the most influential cats in the country. They are also known as the Cat Cabal by some of their detractors. If there’s something happening national for kitties, you can be sure they’re involved somehow. The meeting is called to order by the president, Mr Tibbles.

Most Beautiful Cat Breeds: Top 5 Majestic Felines, According To Experts

Mr Tibbles: Thank you all for coming here on such short notice. You are probably wondering why I needed you here.

Penelope: It was very inconvenient. I’m miissng my weekly deep muscle massage.

Theodore: It doesn’t have anything to do with the humans, does it? I hate dealing with human problems. They are so hard to control.

Zoe: Just when you think you have them trained, they do something ridiculous.

Cat Loves Greeting Strangers In A Shopping Cart. They Can't Believe It | Cuddle Buddies

Mr. Tibbles: I’m afraid it does concern the humans. Princess Zelda, would you please report on what you’ve been observing.

Princess Zelda: As the privileged class, you may not have noticed, but the price of kibble has skyrocketed. The humans have caused something called inflation. It makes the prices of everything go up.

Rocco: How does that affect us?

Princess Zelda: Where do you get your kibble from?

Cat Fight: 10 Tips for Stopping & Preventing Cat Aggression

Rocco: I’m not really sure. It appears in my bowl every morning. I have better things to do with my time than worry about who’s buying my kibble.

Maurice: You simpleton. Someone has to buy it at the store. It doesn’t grow on trees.

Rocco (offended): I’m not a simpleton. I know kibble comes in bags.

Feed Me': Cat's Hilarious Empty Bowl Protest Delights the Internet - Newsweek

Maurice: And someone has to buy those bags. Those bags are getting more expensive.

Princess Zelda: If you two are finished, I’d like to continue my report.

Mr Tibbles: Please proceed.

Princess Zelda: it’s not really an issue for kitties living the good life, but there are a lot of cats who are starting to be impacted. Some of them are being forced to eat cheaper kibble. And some are even getting their portions cut.

Cat Won't Eat Dry Food? When To Worry - Cats.com

Audible gasps around the table.

Theodore: You mean an end to the never-ending kibble bowl?

Rocco: And generic kibble? That’s inexcusable. We need to talk to the humans and get this straightened out.

Princess Zelda: We’ve tried. But they really don’t seem to be all that concerned.

Why Does My Cat Ignore Me? When to Worry - Cats.com

Maurice: That figures. All they think about is themselves.

Audra: So we need to take care of it ourselves?

Mr. Tibbles: I’m afraid so. We need to do something to get the prices down.

Zoe: You don’t mean…

Poured 50 pounds of cat food into a sealable container. Fat Ass over here thought it was just a GIANT bowl for him 😂 : r/Thisismylifemeow

Mr Tibbles: I don’t see where we really have a choice. We can’t have cats not ed the kibble they’re entitled to.

Rocco: That is the reason we created the Strategic Kibble Reserve.

Theodore: How many depots are there?

Mr. Tibbles: We have ten locations around the country.

A group of cats walked onto forbidden property, while one snuck away, refusing to be part of a secret society.

Audra: Is it going to be edible after being stored?

Mr. Tibbles: It’s been freeze-dried. It will be fine once it’s thawed.

Zoe: We need to be careful. Releasing too much will leave us vulnerable until we can restock.

Rocco: We need to make sure we have cats on the ground when we release it. We don’t want a riot. We are releasing excellent kibble.

Feeding Cats In A Multi-cat Household [A Quick Guide]

Mr Tibbles: I have created a distribution plan. I’m confident we can control the release. Shall we vote on it?

Maurice: I have a couple of questions. Are we involving the humans? If we do, who’s in charge?

Princess Zelda: We need to run this the way we ran distribution during that big human sickness a few years ago. Entirely through the

cat underground. The humans will get in the way.

Homeward Pet | Vote for Cats vs. Dogs

Nods around the table.

Mr Tibbles: Time to vote. All in favor? All against?

The motion passed unanimously.

Mr. Tibbles: All right. I’ll set the distribution in motion. Thank you for your time.

Support food distribution for community cats

Ed. Note: We would like to thank Bella Dharma and Bella Sita from The Bella Girlls’ Purrfect Pad for recommending us to their followers. Bella Dharma does a wonderful job of describing life with her humans. You can check it out here.

What Is a Group of Cats Called? Interesting Answer & Facts - Catster

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

27

Sarge and Snoops’ Big Escape

Gypsy Katt here. We had quite the drama last week. We started out with five cats on Monday home with Mom while the men finished working on the basement. When our human brother got home from work, he saw a large grey tabby streak across the yard and head into the woods next door. We were down to four kitties. (Or so we thought.)

Onyx: Pretty ironic. They kept me locked up, and Sgt Stripes made a run for it.

Sgt Stripes: I didn’t make a run for it. I sauntered out when I noticed the doors were open.

Gypsy: They were pouring something they called cement downstairs. They had to keep running back and forth between a noisy machine outside and the basement.

Sgt Stripes: I just wandered out. No one even paid any attention.

Gypsy: Humans are pretty careless sometimes. They thought that just because you’ve never seemed interested in going outside that you could roam around while the work was being done.

Angel: Yeah. They didn’t know how dumb you are.

Sgt Stripes: Hey! I’m not dumb. I wanted to visit my old hangouts.I know I have a pretty sweet deal here.

Angel: Then why did you run when your human came home.

Sgt Stripes: I think that was just a coincidence. I heard a really loud noise and took off.

Gypsy: All of the humans were pretty upset.

Onyx: Blondie even put it out on the community bulletin board.

Sgt Stripes: They should have just relaxed. I was just looking around.

Angel: You came back pretty quickly. One of the little humans went outside, and there you were. Blondie just had to pick you up.

Gypsy: That’s funny to watch. You’re a big kitty, and she’s not very big.

Sgt Stripes: It was extremely undignified. I would have walked in on my own if they would have waited.

Angel: You didn’t turn your nose up at the extra food and treats.

Sgt Stripes: I told you, I’m not dumb.

Snoops: At least they noticed you were missing.

Angel: I knew you weren’t around, but nobody listened to me.

Sgt Stripes: I tried to go back outside to get you, but they wouldn’t let me.

Snoops: I am the elder cat. The Empress of the House. And nobody noticed I was missing.

Gypsy: To be fair, you were only showing up for breakfast for a while there. You were spending most of your time in the basement.

Snoops: That’s what made it so awful. Those strangers invaded my safe space. And they made a lot of noise. I was just looking around when I ended up outside. Then there was a lot of noise, and then those strange humans closed the doors so I couldn’t get back in.

Angel: That sounds awful. Then what happened?

Snoops: I heard a loud noise and ran under the back porch. Next thing I knew it got dark and windy. After Sarge went back inside, it was just me. I heard the humans wandering around a little bit, but they didn’t hear me. I had to sleep out there.

Gypsy: Mom finally figured out that you weren’t in the house when she went downstairs and looked in your litter spot. Nothing was there. She was really upset. She went outside and called a little bit, but you didn’t respond.

Snoops: I didn’t hear her. She was in front of the house.

Gypsy: It was pretty sad. She was trying to work when she heard a car honk in the road. She went out and saw something in the road. False alarm: It was just a bunch of paper. But she went around the back of the house and started calling.

Snoops: I heard her calling, so I meowed. She heard me, but kept calling. I kept calling back. She finally got to where she could see me and she brought me back inside.

Gypsy: You’re a lot smaller than Sarge, so it wasn’t a big deal.

Sgt Stripes: But Mom insisted on locking both of us in different rooms while the workers were there.It was awful.

Onyx: She put you in her bedroom. She keeps food, water and a litter box in there. How tough could it have been.

Snoops: Yeah. I got put in the bathroom because it’s one of my safe places. You had a bed and a cat tree.

Sgt Stripes: I do not like being told what to do.

Gypsy: It’s your own fault. You should have been a good kitty and stayed inside like Angel and me.

Snoops: All’s well that ends well. At least the repairmen are finally gone.

20

Gypsy’s New Job

 

Hi Everyone! It’s me Gypsy Katt. I want to tell you about my extremely exciting week. Mom didn’t go into the office this week, and I got to help her. I got to work with her for four days!

Angel: Why don’t you tell about the very annoying reason she was home?

Gypsy: I’m not really sure why but some guys came into the house every day and went down the basement.

Sgt Stripes: And they made a lot of noise.

Snoops: It was very annoying. I’ve been using the basement to get away from all the commotion upstairs. The first day they came in with some kind of really noisy machine and broke up some of the cement in the basement. It was terrifying.

Gypsy: It was really loud for a while. Even upstairs.

Sgt Stripes: Mom didn’t see you go racing upstairs. She thought the men had trapped you in the basement. She was going to go downstairs and see if she could find you.

Snoops: Well, that was dumb. She should have known that I didn’t make it to Senior Cat status by sticking around loud machines that could crush me.

Onyx: At least you got the choice. As soon as she realized they would be leaving the door open to the outside, she locked me in the study.

Gypsy: That’s because you’re what they people on human TV call a “flight risk.”

Onyx: Why would they call me that? I can’t fly.

Snoops: It means you’ve been trying to get outside all summer, and she couldn’t risk you getting out and being eaten by a big bird.

Sgt Stripes: Or a coyote.

Onyx: It was very undignified. And I got locked in Blondie’s room the rest of the week. I thought someone was going to let me out on Tuesday. There was a nice man who talked to me through the door.

Snoops: That must have been the man who scared me out of my hiding place in the upstairs bathroom. He did something to the sink.

Sgt Stripes: I supervised that work. It didn’t take very long.

Snoops: Mom says they can use that faucet now that it’s not leaking. That’s a good thing. They get the water for our upstairs fountain there.

Sgt Stripes: Yeah. They weren’t really great about remembering to bring water upstairs.

Gypsy: Hello??!! We’re supposed to be talking about me helping Mom, remember?

Sgt Stripes: That’s right. So what did you do?

Gypsy: One of my big jobs was to keep Mom warm. It was kind of chilly with the doors open even though it was sunny outside. And I made sure she got enough cuddles.

Sgt Stripes: She’s kind of funny about snuggles when she’s working.

Gypsy: I did notice that. She was particularly fussy when she put things in her ears so she could hear her training while they were making noise downstairs and outside. Something about not being able to hear without them.

Snoops: I’ve seen those upstairs.

Sgt Stripes: Mom uses them sometimes when she watches humans TV upstairs. Although she got some different ones that don’t have wires so she doesn’t have to worry about us pulling them out of her ears.

Angel: That’s weird. I wonder why she didn’t bring those ones downstairs.

Snoops: I don’t think she likes to have them around the little humans.

Angel: That makes sense.

Gypsy: Back to me. I helped with some of the typing. I really like the thing she types on. It is really warm. And I can use it to call up something called an AI Assistant. It knows the answer to everything.

Sgt Stripes: Mr Google knows everything too. Maybe they’re friends.

Gypsy: Maybe. We can ask one of them.

Snoops: Did you get to be on any Zoom calls? I was really popular when I attended a few meetings with Mom.

Sgt Stripes: Yes. The people in her office really like us.

Gypsy: Sadly, she did not have any calls like that. In fact, she wasn’t on the phone much at all. She did have a lot of papers for me to sit on.

Sgt Stripes: That is true. I spent some time helping too. What was that new thing that you taught her?

Gypsy: I made her screen show everything in greyscale. No colors at all.

Sgt Stripes: That seemed to upset her for some reason. I think I look good in greyscale.

Gypsy: I don’t really know why it mattered. She said she needed the colors to tell when stuff was done.

Snoops: I hope those men are gone. I really don’t like having strange people in the house. Especially loud, strange people.

Gypsy: They’re coming back on Monday. I’m supposed to have two more days of helping Mom.