Category Archives: Animals

19

How Not to Wake Up From Hibernation – Part 2

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Himalayan marmot, India 2016 | Only one species of marmot (M… | Flickr

Where we are: Sophie Marmot and her daughters had moved into a new burrow last fall. They had awoken from hibernation to find that their Homeowners Association (HOA) was building a clubhouse directly over their burrow. Both the builders and the president of the HOA told her that nothing could be done. You can read about it here.

Fur flies as angry Swiss farmers take aim at marmots

After talking to some of her neighbors, Sophie had learned  that the clubhouse was not originally planned to be over her burrow. The original plan was to build it near the entry of the subdivision, just off the woods.There had been a lot of arguing among the animals who lived in the woods but would not be allowed to use the clubhouse. As far as anyone knew, the issue hadn’t been resolved prior to hibernation.

Long-tailed marmot - Wikipedia

Sophie: I guess I need to find out who decided to move it over my burrow.

Nelly: That won’t be easy. Maurice controls everything.

Sophie: Then I’ll have to talk to a lawyer. We have an old family friend who should be able to help.

Sophie and the girls made an appointment to see Stanley J Marmot, Attorney at Law.

Alpine Marmot (Marmota marmota) · iNaturalist

Stanley: Welcome to my office. May I ask how you got my name? I like to thank folks who send me referrals.

Sophie: Actually you did some work for my uncle, Stuart Yellow-Belly, and my father Mortimer.

Stanley thought for a few minutes.

Stanley: I’m sorry, what did you say your uncle’s name was?

Sophie: Stuart Yellow-Belly

Stanley: You’d think I would remember a name like that.

photographs by Mark Chappell

The girls looked at each other and tried not to giggle.

Sophie: You helped him sell some property. He spoke very highly of you.

Stanley: That’s nice to hear. How is Stuart?

Sophie: Unfortunately, he passed away last year.

Stanley: I’m sorry to hear that. You said I knew your father as well?

Sophie: Yes, Mortimer Yellow-Belly.

Yellow Bellied Marmot | Umpqua Watersheds

Stanley: Those are very interesting names. Your grandmother was very creative.

Sophie: She was a yellow-bellied Marmot.

Stanley. Oh, yes. That makes sense. Did you have a reason to come by?

Sophie was wondering if she should just tell him that she had changed her mind. But her father had spoken very highly of Stanley. So she told him the entire story about purchasing the burrow and waking up to a clubhouse being built over it. Stuart had closed his eyes, and she wasn’t certain he was still awake.

Free Stock Photo of A group of groundhogs in grass | Download Free Images and Free Illustrations

Sophie: So I was speaking with my neighbors who have been in the HOA longer than us. They said that the plan had not been to build the clubhouse over my burrow. I need to find out why the plans changed.

Stanley: That does sound very unfortunate. Did you sign a contract with the HOA?

Sophie: Yes, I did. I brought it with me.

Stanley glanced over the contract and stopped at the last page.

Marmot - Wikipedia

Stanley: Is this your signature?

Sophie: Yes, it is.

Stanley: Then you have to abide by the rules of the HOA.

Sophie: But there’s nothing in that about the location of the clubhouse. I need you to find out whether it was changed after I moved into my burrow.

Stanley: How would you suggest I do that?

Sophie: I don’t know. That’s why I need a lawyer.

Yosemite)Nose to Nose....yet another marmot picture but t… | Flickr

Stanley: Oh. I see. I really don’t see that you have much of a case here. You did agree to live in the subdivision with this HOA setting the rules.

Sophie was almost in tears.

Sophie: Thank you for your time.

Stanley: My pleasure. Please say hello to your uncle and father for me.

World Wildlife Fund | WWFGifts Catalog

When they returned to their burrow, they discovered that the entryway had partially collapsed from the work above it. They had to dig out a new entry.

Nikki: Mama, do we have to move?

Sophie: No, sweetie. We’re going to have to figure out a way to stop the building. Maybe I should talk to that nice bear I met the other day.

Nikki: Bears are scary. I don’t think you should do that.

Viaero Wireless - It's Groundhog Day! | Facebook

Zoe had been scrolling through her phone. She handed it to her mother.

Zoe: Maybe you should try this guy. It says he specializes in helping prey animals against predators.

Nikki: We’re not going to be eaten.

Zoe: No. But we’re definitely less powerful than Maurice.

Photo & Art Print Gorilla monkey looking at smartphone. Generative AI

Sophie (looking at the phone): I guess it’s worth a try.

Sophie dialed the number and waited nervously. 

Voice: Java J Gorilla, Attorney-at-Law. How can I help you?

Sophie quickly explained what was going on.

Meet Shabani the gorilla, the internet's latest unlikely crush | Animals | The Guardian

Java: What is the name of the subdivision?

Sophie: Marmot Meadows.

Java: Who is in charge of the HOA?

Sophie: Maurice Dupree.

Java: I know that name. And I think I can help you.

Rain is not doing us good... - Gorilla safari uganda. | Facebook

Next week: Can Java actually do anything for Sophie?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

25

How Not to Wake Up From Hibernation

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Yellow-bellied Marmot

Sophie Marmot and her two daughters,Nikki and Zoe, had moved into a large new burrow at the beginning of last summer. It was at the edge of the woods near some large rocks. She had wanted to burrow toward the woods, but the Homeowners Association (HOA) had said that burrows could not be pointed in that direction. Maurice, the head of the HOA, gave Sophie a binder full of rules regarding what she could and couldn’t do with her property.

What is hibernation? - Nature Alberta

Regardless of the restrictions, Sophie and the girls loved their new home. The door was well-hidden under a rock, and there was plenty of space for living and sleeping. They happily settled into hibernation in October and passed the winter peacefully. As they slowly began to come out of hibernation, they were startled awake by a loud pounding.

Zoe: Mama, what is that?

Nikki: It sounds like it’s coming right into the burrow.

Marmots

Sophie: Don’t worry. I’m sure we’re safe in here. It just sounds very loud.

They huddled together and waited for the noise to stop. Suddenly, with a loud bang, a rod came through the ceiling of the tunnel. It barely missed Nikki. She screamed.

Sophie: That’s enough. I’m going outside to see what is going on.

Zoe: We’re coming too. I’m afraid they won’t miss us if they do that again.

The Marmots of British Columbia ...

They quietly crawled along the tunnel until they reached the door. Sunlight was streaming into the tunnel.

Nikki: Where’s our rock, Mama? Did a badger try to get in to eat us?

Zoe: Or a wolf or a coyote?

Sophie: Don’t worry girls. I’m sure we were much too far in the tunnel for anyone to come hunting for us.

Why do beavers build dams? - BBC Science Focus Magazine

They cautiously crept out of the tunnel and looked around. There were beavers everywhere, working on what appeared to be a large building. Sophie walked up to one of them and asked who was in charge. He pointed at two beavers talking to each other at the edge of the woods.

Sophie: Excuse me, the beaver said that you are in charge of what is going on? Who are you?

Beaver: My name is Jacques, and this is my brother Marcel. We own J&M Builders.

Bringing back beavers | Shropshire Wildlife Trust

Zoe: I know you. I’ve seen you on AniGram. You have those, “We build til you’re thrilled” videos.

Marcel: Yep, That’s us.

Zoe: Why are you here?

Jacques: We’re building a clubhouse for the Marmot Meadows subdivision.

Sophie: Why are you building it on top of our burrow? You almost killed us.

Jacques: Sorry, Ma’am. We’re just following orders.

Aspen and Juniper: A Beaver Love Story | Smithsonian's National Zoo and Conservation Biology Institute

Sophie: Who hired you?

Jacques: Let me check. It looks like the paperwork was signed by Maurice Dupree. Do you know anyone by that name?

Sophie: Yes. He’s the idiot who told me I had to dig my burrow here. You can’t put a building over my burrow.

Jacques: I think you need to take it up with Mr. Dupree. We can’t make any changes unless he tells us to stop what we’re doing.

A Relocated Bear Walked 1,000 Miles Back to Its Favorite Campsite

Sophie walked away chittering to herself. She was so angry, she almost ran into a large black bear.

Sophie: I’m very sorry. Please forgive me.

Bear: Not a problem. I’m Rafael. Are you a marmot by chance?

Sophie: Yes I am. Why do you ask?

Rafael: I’m looking for a Marmot named Maurice. Do you know where I might find him?

Whisper | The Walt Disney Family Museum

Sophie: I’m looking for him myself. He seems to have authorized those beavers to put their building up over my burrow.

They had reached Maurice’s door. Sophie knocked, and Maurice came to the door.

Maurice: Rafael! Good to see you. How are things going?

Rafael: Can’t complain. I just wanted to thank you for moving your clubhouse away from our den. I’m sure it will be a lot quieter at our end of the woods now.

Sophie: On the other hand, I’m here to complain. Your clubhouse is going to be directly over my burrow. The girls and I aren’t going to get any sleep. And they put a pole right through our dining room. It’s not safe.

Angry Marmot | Explore: Highest position 456 | Luca Bobbiesi | Flickr

Maurice: Sophie, dear. Just let them finish. I’m sure it won’t be as bad as you expect. The rest of us hibernate at the same time you do. You won’t be disturbed at all.

Sophie: I paid a lot for that spot. I should be able to enjoy it.

Maurice: Perhaps you didn’t read the special assessment you signed last fall. It said that we would be building a clubhouse for all members and it would be centrally located. There really isn’t anything I can do for you.

Sophie was furious, but she walked off.

Groundhog Standing | Anne Ahearne | Flickr

Next week: Can Sophie get her privacy back?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

25

A Gator Family Wedding – Part 3

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Alligator Hatchling

Where we are: The family is gathering in the Everglades for Stu and Amanda’s wedding.The ceremony will be on the beach with reception following in the swamp. They finally got all the details straightened out. The only problem is that Stu didn’t make it home from the bachelor party, and no one knows where he is. Amanda, the bride, and Vinny, Stu’s son, are fighting. You can read Part 1 here and Part 2 here.

Angry Crocodile | Nile Crocodile | Jim Hatzell | Flickr

Amanda: I knew a bachelor party was a bad idea. How did you lose your father?

Vinny: I didn’t lose him. We all left together. I don’t know why he didn’t get on the boat.

Amanda: Didn’t you check to make sure he was on the boat before you left?

Vinny: He was right behind me. I don’t know what happened.

Amanda: Well you need to find him. The wedding is in two days.

Vinny was angry. Why did his father always disappear when something important was happening. He had never met another gator who was so likely to disappear with no notice. Someone knocked at the door.

Crocodiles in suburbia: here's how they navigate our world

Amanda: Stu! Where have you been? We’ve been worried sick about you!

Stu: Honey, I’ve told you never to worry about me. I get sidetracked but eventually I always find my way home.

Amanda: Thank goodness! Vinny and I were worried sick. I thought he’d left you behind.

Stu: Technically, he did. When we were leaving, he spent so much time talking at the dock, that I decided to use the washroom. He was just pulling out. I guess he couldn’t hear me over the motor.

S.S. Why I Otter” Provides Environment Enrichment at Aquarium | UTC News

Amanda: How did you get back?

Stu: A very nice otter brought me back on his raft.

Vinny: We’re glad you made it home.

Stu: I always do. You worry too much.

Brown Bears, Alaska Bear Camp and Being There

The wedding was held two days later on the beach. The bear in charge created a beautiful ceremony. Afterward, everyone went to the Everglades Inn for the reception.Stu had managed to get his old band Acrocalypse to play. Amanda wasn’t a huge fan of punk croc music, but she agreed to a compromise. Her string quartet played during dinner, and Stu’s buddies played afterwards.

Alligators love pink

Adele: That was a lovely wedding, don’t you think?

Stan: It went much smoother than I expected.

Justine: Where are they going for their honeymoon?

Adele: I don’t know. We can ask them when they come by.

Tennessee Wildlife Resources Agency officials say alligators are migrating to Tennessee.

A while later.

Stan: Here’s the happy couple. Congratulations!

Stu: Thank you. I thought it went well.

Amanda: The weather was perfect.

Suzy: Where are you going for your honeymoon?

Premium Photo | Cuban crocodile is jumping out of the water

Stu and Amanda answered together.

Amanda: Grand Cayman.

Stu: Grand Canyon.

They looked at each other and started to laugh.

Stu: I guess we’ll have to look at the tickets when we get back to our room.

Official Looks for Alligator Near Arizona Strip | KSL.com

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

20

A Gator Family Wedding – Part 2

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Soni and Chompers are OFFICIALLY MARRIED!!! 🥳 I can't tell you how excited I am that the two are no longer living in sin 😂 Have you watched the wedding yet? (On

Where we are:Stu and Amanda are getting married on Valentine’s Day. A week before the wedding, they found out that the officiant would not be able to perform the ceremony. Their wedding planner, Stella, is looking for a replacement. Meanwhile, Stu was getting ready for his bachelor party. You can read Part 1 here.

Parties - Davis Farmland is the perfect place for parties

Stan: What will you ladies be doing while we’re at the party.

Justine: Granny is throwing a little party for Amanda.

Stan: I thought that Amanda hated the idea of a party. She just wanted to relax before the wedding.

Adele: You know Granny. She could sell ice to a polar bear. It’s not going to be anything fancy. Just hanging around her house, drinking her famous palm cocktails and eating her amazing boa bits.

Featured Animals - American Alligator - CMZoo

Suzy: And she promised to tell Amanda embarrassing stories about Stu.

Stan: That sounds like fun. I’m glad Granny and Amanda get along so well.

There was a knock at the door.

Vinny: You ready to go, Stan?

Adele: Where are you having the party?

How to See Alligators on a Louisiana Swamp Tour

Vinny: It’s a little place out in the middle of the swamp. It’s called Hugo’s.

Justine: Why didn’t you want to tell Uncle Stu where you are going? He made it sound very mysterious.

Vinny: I didn’t want him to try to get there by himself. He’s been a couple of times and kept getting lost. I thought it would be best to just tell him it would be a surprise.

Why gators became aggressive in popular fishing spot now shut down

Stan: I’m ready. Are we using your boat?

Vinny: There’s quite a few of us so we’re taking three boats: mine, your brother John’s, and Danny’s.

Adele: Have fun, dear. Don’t wake me up when you get back.

The three boats arrived at Hugo’s. It was in a thatched hut. There was a bar and a dance floor. The doorman greeted them.

There's an Alligator at my Door! - Christianity Every Day

Doorman: Good evening, gentlemen. Do you have a reservation?

Vinny: Yes, we do. It’s under Stuart Gator Bachelor Party.

The doorman turned to Danny, the youngest of the group.

Doorman: Congratulations! We’re happy that you are make us part of your celebration.

Danny: Not me! I don’t even have a girlfriend.

Unlikely Animals Wearing Clothes!

Stu: I’m the lucky gator. I’m getting married on Friday.

Doorman (embarrassed): I’m terribly sorry about my mistake. Welcome to Hugo’s. You will be sitting in the Tahiti Room.

He led them to a separate hut. It was very nice with soft lighting and a Jacuzzi.

Stu: Look at that! Warm water with bubbles. I’ve never used one of those.

Young alligator looking for love takes a dip in backyard HOT TUB | Daily Mail Online

Doorman: We also have a sauna if you would prefer a more dry heat.

Stu: No thank you. I’m an alligator. The wetter the heat, the better.

Doorman: I will tell your waiter that you are here. Please enjoy your evening.

Stu: He seemed very nice. Good choice, Vinny.

Vinny: Thanks, Dad. I thought you’d like it.

Woman in Business With Alligator that Wears Clothes, Rides ATVs | by NanoNano1414 | Medium

The waiter walked in.

Waiter: Good evening, my name is Marcel. I will be your waiter tonight. Can I start you off with something to drink?

Vinny: We would like pitchers of the fermented fruit punch.o

Marcel: Very well. I will be back in a few minutes to take your orders.

Vinny: When a made the reservation, I requested the Endless Seafood Platter.

Marcel: My mistake. I do see that on your reservation. I will be back with your drinks.

French Zoo Offers Rare Look at Baby Manatee | Scientific American

John: Stu, I hear that you need someone to officiate your wedding.

Stu: Not anymore. I should have known to just ask my sister. She knows a manatee who can help us. The only problem is that manatees only come up for air every few minutes.

John: That sounds like a bit of a problem.

Stu: That’s what we thought. But he knows a Florida Black Bear who can do the entire ceremony on land. And the bear doesn’t mind coming to the beach.

Report: Black bears 'robust and growing' in Florida

John: I’ve never heard of an alligator getting married by a bear. Is that legal?

Stu: Stella, our wedding planner, says that there doesn’t seem to be any law against it.

The drinks arrived, followed shortly by the food. It wasn’t long before the fermented fruit had all of the alligators feeling a little drunk. Stu nearly fell asleep in the Jacuzzi. They tried playing darts, but mainly ended up telling each other how bad they were at it. Then they tried karaoke and discovered that drunk alligators are not good singers. Finally they found their way to their boats and went back to Granny’s ranch.

2 Alligators Found Eating Human Body

The next morning, Stan was woken up by someone pounding on his bedroom door. It was Vinny

Vinny: Did you help my dad to bed last night?

Stan: Why would I put your dad to bed?

Vinny: He didn’t come back on my boat.

Stan: I didn’t have a boat. I came back with John.

Drunk Australian teen ends up fighting crocodile to impress girl, surgeons hope to 'restore full use of arm' – New York Daily News

Vinny: Dad wasn’t with you?

Stan: No. I thought he was with you. Maybe he came back with Danny.

Vinny: No. I already asked him.

Stan: Are you sure he isn’t just ignoring your knocking? He had a lot of punch.

Vinny: No. Granny and Amanda both asked me where Dad was.He’s not asleep in any of the boats, and he’s not in his room.

4 Sleeping Alligator Image: PICRYL - Public Domain Media Search Engine Public Domain Search}

Next week: Will they find Stu in time for his wedding?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

23

A Gator Family Wedding

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An alligator as a ring bearer?!? Would you perform this wedding? | AMM Blog

Stan and Adele had agreed to go to South Florida a week before Uncle Stu and Amanda’s wedding to help with the last-minute details. They were bringing their daughters Justine and Suzy along so they could help. When they stepped off the train, they looked around for Stu.

St. Augustine Alligator Farm

Adele: I don’t see Stu anywhere.

Justine: Maybe he got lost on the way to the station.

Suzy: I bet Amanda isn’t letting him out of her sight.

Stan: They’ve been staying with Granny Gator so she can keep an eye on him.

Adele: Are you sure he was going to meet us? Maybe we should just take the bus.

Squirrels express frustration by twitching their tails, researchers say.

Then they heard a very agitated voice behind them:

Are you the Stanley Gator family? I need to find the Stanley Gator family. Have you seen the Stanley Gator family? They were supposed to be on this train? I have to find the Stanley Gator family.

Stan turned around to see who was calling him and was very surprised to see a rather large squirrel.

Fewer Bears, More Birds - UPDATE October 4, 2015 - The Wildlife Research Institute

Stan: I’m Stan Gator. What can I do for you?

Squirrel: I’m Stella. I’m the wedding planner for Stuart and Amanda.I’m glad I found you. Things are not going well for the wedding. I’ll explain it on the way to Granny Gertie’s farm.

Suzy: Are they fighting? Are they going to cancel the wedding?

Justine: That’s dumb. Why would they cancel the wedding now?

Difference between an alligator (left) and a crocodile (right) : r/BeAmazed

Stella: They are fine.They are getting married on the beach and then going to the swamp for the reception.

Adele: That sounds lovely. What’s the problem?

Stella: There was some type of miscommunication. The Everglades Inn, where we are having the reception, was supposed to provide the officiant for the wedding. Apparently, no one told him, and he does not want to travel to the beach.

Justine: Maybe you could offer them more money.

North American River Otter | Bearizona

Stella: Unfortunately, he is a river otter and is not comfortable with the ocean.

Stan: There must be someone else who could do it.

Stella: I’ve been calling around. No luck so far.

She pulled into the driveway, and everyone got out of the car. Granny, Stu, and Amanda came out to greet them.

Stu: Adele, you and the girls get prettier every time I see you.

St. Augustine Alligator Farm Zoological Park - Happy Valentine's Day everyone, we love you all! #zooforyou #happyvalentinesday #bemine #youresweet #saaf #iheartalligators #lovefl | Facebook

Suzy: Hi, Uncle Stu. How are you?

Stu: I’m doing fine. I imagine you’ve heard about the glitch in our wedding planning.

Adele: It’s a shame that you haven’t been able to find a replacement for your officiant.

Amanda: It seemed so romantic to set the date on Valentine’s Day. But now everyone is booked. It’s too late to postpone the wedding. We don’t know what to do.

CAPYBARA Riding an ALLIGATOR! Would you Believe It

Stu: The other problem is that a lot of animals are afraid of alligators

Justine: I don’t understand that. We’re nice to other creatures.

Stan: Some alligators see almost anything as a snack. Other animals don’t want to take a chance.

Suzy: And our teeth are kinda scary.

Phishing for Anonymous Alligators

Stu’s son Vinny came around the corner.

Vinny: Hey, Dad. I have an idea. When humans need someone for a wedding, they go online and get certified to do it.

Stu: We are not humans.

Vinny: I know that. But maybe we could get one of those certifications before the wedding.

Two cute alligators | Two alligators of the Walter Zoo lying… | Flickr

Amanda: Could we just ask one of the humans who already can marry humans.

Stu: I love you Sweetie, but I am not getting married by a human.

Justine: I’m afraid of humans.

Suzy: Yeah. You can’t tell the difference between the nice ones and the ones who would eat us.

Ibis Bird Facts - Threskiornithidae - A-Z Animals

Adele: So we need to find an animal to marry you or one of us needs to be certified.

Cousin Danny, the bird doctor, joined the conversation.

Danny: I know an ibis who could probably do it. I’ll call her.

Amanda: That’s wonderful Danny!

Justine: Why did you get here so early?

🔥 Stacked Alligators. : r/NatureIsFuckingLit

Danny: The bachelor party is tomorrow. Amanda didn’t want anyone showing up at the wedding with a hangover.

Justine: Where are you going?

Stu: It’s a secret. They’re not even telling me.

Next Week: The bachelor party

I'm a Big Brave Alligator!

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

20

The New Gnu News

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Terms of Venery: Whence the Wildebeest: An Implausibility of Gnus

Welcome. My name is Isina, and I would like to welcome you to The New Gnu News. You may remember that we had to shut down The Gnu News several months ago after our founder and editor-in-chief, Clive Attlelon, was attacked and carried off by a pack of wild dogs. After much deliberation, we decided that we wanted to carry on with the paper in Clive’s memory,.

Here are some recent events from around the savanna:

Frolicking Giraffe and Baboon, Arusha National Park, Tanzania (Giraffes, Baboons) – Melissa Groo

Giraffes on Patrol – On the far west side of the savanna, giraffes are starting to take action against the large cats that are their natural predators. The giraffes have joined forces with local baboons. The plan is to have the baboon ride the giraffe and throw things (possibly fruit at the cats to scare them office. Training is almost complete, with the teams set to ride by the end of the month.

Lion Conservation & Endangered Status ...

Big Cat Entente – With the humans continuing to encroach on hunting land, the big cats are putting their heads together to see if they can put their natural instincts aside long enough to figure out how everyone can keep eating. The cats say that rumors of eating a human once in a while to ease the crowding was never seriously considered. There continues to be discussions around the possibility of relocating some of the jackals and hyenas. Talks are ongoing.

All you need to know about zebras, from where they live and why they migrate to the mystery behind their stripes | Discover Wildlife

Teen-Age Zebra Angst – Zebra parents are getting worried. The latest trend on zebra social media is to dye their coats, so the zebra looks more like a horse. Parents and grandparents are worried about losing zebra identity. The influencers say they will be more popular with both horses and zebras being attracted. Parents say there’s nothing stopping zebras and horses from dating now and that zebras will lose their exotic mystique. Besides the dye is hard on the hair and needs to be done once a month.

FAQ on Africa Antelope - Africa Mammals Guide

Animal Tracking Alert – The popular dating app, Animal Tracking, has admitted that it has been hacked. Someone has been matching wildly incompatible clients. One antelope was horrified to discover she had been matched with a buzzard. The first time they met for drinks, she was horrified to discovered that her date was happily slurping down a brown piece of something. Luckily, she saw him before he saw her. She has blocked the buzzard on the app but is thinking that she should probably just close the account and move to a more herbivore-centric dating site. Remember – always meet in a public place for your first date.

White Rhino | Species | WWF

Rhinoceros Support Group – Are you tired of everyone thinking that you’re a mean, bad-tempered brute looking for a fight just because you’re a large animal with a scary horn on your head? Are you looking for somewhere you can go and not feel like you are frightening everyone? Join us on Tuesday nights either in person or on anima-vision at Rhino-Bro. It’s a totally safe space where you can be you. Let us help you to be proud of who you are.

City of Seattle ITD on X: "Happy International #CatDay ...if only cats had cell phones. Seattle IT is calling on cat lover @KateMGarman to top this photo! https://t.co/5k2kGzMltF" / X

Help Wanted – We’re looking for a few highly-motivated, ambitious interns. You will learn the ins and outs of the financial services industry. Hands-on experience with actual clients. Learn how the banking business really works. You will be expected to meet/exceed goals you set with your advisor. We work hard, and we play hard. If this sounds interesting, click on the link below to get started on your application. This is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. The position is unpaid.

What lives on the savanna? - Q-files - Search • Read • Discover

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

27

Edgar Mouse’s Christmas Adventure

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 Christmas mouse Cute mouse with christmas gift mouse celebrating christmas | Premium AI-generated image

Edgar Mouse was very excited. He was going to visit his sister Polly for Christmas. He was a field mouse, but Polly had moved into town and was now a house mouse. She was renting space in a multi-species dwelling. There was a strict no-intimidation, no-eating policy among the residents.

Woodland Trust🌳 on X: "The yellow-necked #mouse (Apodemus flavicollis) can be easily confused with the more common wood mouse. It is a #woodland species, particularly common in #AncientWoodland, and can be found

Several of the residents were having friends and family stop by for the holidays, so Polly gave Edgar directions directly to her space to ensure there wouldn’t be any problems with the other guests. As Edgar got near, he tried to remember what she had said.

“Hmm. I know there was something about direction. Was it Go to the west, that’s always best? or Avoid the beast. Go to the east? or Dragon’s mouth is in the South? No, that one’s silly. She doesn’t live with dragons. I don’t remember. Now what should I do?

Eating cute little mouse | One of these cute and tiny mice e… | Flickr

Edgar walked around the house, looking in the windows. He didn’t see Polly anywhere. There was a big front door. That couldn’t possibly be right. He wandered around a bit more. Something smelled delicious. He was so preoccupied with the smell that he didn’t notice the small crack in the wall.

“That must be what I’m looking for! It’s perfectly mouse-sized. I’ll just sneak in and surprise Polly.”

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Edgar squeezed into the crack. To his surprise, it opened up into a large dining room. He sat on his haunches for a couple of minutes looking around. What was that delicious aroma? Something was baking. He started to follow the smell. Suddenly, he felt a tug on his tail. He looked back and was horrified to see a rather large tabby cat with its paw on his tail.

The Tabby was looking at Edgar and grinning.

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“Hello, mouse. Would you like to play?”

Edgar shook his head, terrified. The cat let him go. He ran away, but was cornered by a tortie. This cat batted at him a couple of times, but didn’t really seem interested in hurting him. The tabby picked him up in his mouth and looked around. Edgar squirmed and the cat let him go.

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For several minutes, the two cats and Edgar “played.” He was looking for an escape. Every time Edgar tried to run, one of the cats would put a paw on him. They never hurt him, but Edgar was terrified. Finally, he hid under a cabinet and tried to figure out how to escape. The cats had him cornered there.

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Suddenly, the big door opened. The cats were distracted, and Edgar raced out the door. Finally, he was safe again. But where was Polly? He looked around, afraid to approach the house again. He heard someone calling his name.

“Edgar! Edgar! Where are you?”

Edgar: Polly! Is that you?

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Polly: Oh my goodness, Edgar! I was so worried. Are you okay?

Edgar: Polly! I’m so glad I found you. I had a terrible adventure. There were two cats who had me trapped.

Polly: You’re lucky you got out. My place is on the other side of the house. The cat I live with heard what was going on. He’s the one who opened the door so you could escape.

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Edgar: You live with a cat?

Polly: Oh, yes. There are a couple of cats, a family of guinea pigs, a capybara, and a gorilla. There’s also a Bernese Mountain Dog who watches over us all,

Edgar: Will I be safe there?

Christmas Mouse with Bauble Decoration Festive Rodent Celebrating the Holiday Season | Premium AI-generated image

Polly: Absolutely. Just follow me. Like I said, “west is best”. If we go in the west door, my space is just inside.

Edgar followed her in. It was very cozy. After all the excitement, he was very tired and took a long nap before meeting the rest of the housemates. They welcomed him, and Edgar had a very enjoyable Christmas.

Christmas Kittens | Cat christmas cards, Merry christmas cat, Merry christmas pictures

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

13

Christmas Toy Delivery – The Yaks’ Perspective – Part 3

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Project Himalaya | Our yak photo gallery

Where we are: It’s almost Christmas, and Santa is worried. For years, his ability to deliver toys around the world on Christmas Eve has been credited to Christmas magic. In reality, he and the reindeer are magic, but they get a lot of help storing the toys locally by using the services of Yak Express. In reality, Beasts of Burden (BoB), a unionized subsidiary of Yak Express, has a contract to get the toys to worldwide staging areas for the reindeer to pick them up on Christmas Eve.The yaks do a lot of the work, and the reindeer get all the glory. The yaks are ready to go on strike if they don’t get some recognition. You can read parts 1 here and 2 here.

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The two sides are meeting with an arbitrator to find some common ground. Both sides have been whispering amongst themselves while they wait for the meeting to start. Finally a beautiful Siamese cat walks into the room and looks around.

Santa (whispering): Who is she? I’ve never seen her before. I thought all the arbitrators were elves.

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Zeke, the lead yak negotiator looks pleased. They had been concerned that the elves would be too close to Santa to be impartial. The cat takes a seat at the head of the table.

Cat: Good morning everyone. My name is Nakhon, and I am here to help you come to an agreement regarding changes the yaks would like to make in their new contract. It appears that the two sides are rather far apart after several weeks of negotiation, and the yaks are ready to go on strike.

Angry Santa Claus Images - Free Download on Freepik

Santa: They can’t go on strike. It would ruin Christmas!

Nakhon: Then, I recommend you find a way to make them content. Who will be representing your side?

Santa: It’s my personal attorney, Sylvester SilverBells.

Nakhon: And for the yaks?

Zeke: I am the lead negotiator. My name is Zeke.

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Nakhon: I’ve been looking over the requests that the yaks have made. They seem to be pretty straightforward. Let’s begin with the request for shelter in extreme climates. That seems to be a reasonable request.

Sylvester: We have a concern that building yak centers in remote locations will draw attention to our operation. We don’t want to spoil the magic for all of the boys and girls.

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Zeke: We aren’t asking for huge new facilities. Our members would be happy with a warm bed of hay and some grass and water. Too many times, they’ve had to wander around looking for a spot to lie down. We wouldn’t be resting until we had delivered the presents to the storage facility.

Nakhon: That sounds reasonable to me, Mr. SilverBells. You don’t want your yaks to be collapsing from exhaustion, do you? That would be a bigger scandal than someone finding out the reindeer are being helped by yaks.

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Sylvester: I suppose you’re right. We’ll find some type of shelter in any location that is more than 20 miles from an existing shelter.

Zeke: We’d also like a an allowance for travel-based expenses.

Nakhon: That was not part of the original request. I will order the two sides to form a committee to deal with that issue.

Zeke (to his team): It was worth a shot.

A yak with long horns walking down a dirt road photo – Free Scotland Image on Unsplash

Nakhon: Moving along. How often do the yaks travel more than 250 miles on a trip?

Zeke:Things are sent all over the globe. Sometimes the yaks have to take boats or trains to get to their destination. It can take several days.

Nakhon: How did you arrive at a bonus every 250 miles?

Zeke: It’s a good way to keep the employee motivated to accept the long-haul routes.

Yak | Took a picture of running Yak near Macherma, Nepal. It… | Flickr

Sylvester: It’s not feasible to give the yaks a bonus every 250 miles. That would be too expensive. Almost every trip is over 250 miles.

Nakhon: It does seem a little overly generous. Perhaps you could work out a bonus that is paid at the end of each trip.

Zeke: We need to make sure that we are rewarding our best performers.

Sylvester: We can work out something based on how quickly and safely the yaks complete a round trip.

Zeke: That sounds reasonable.

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Nakhon: The final item is paid holidays. Have the yaks been working without any paid holidays.

Zeke: Yes, ma’am

Sylvester: The yaks don’t really need paid holidays. Their work is seasonal.

Zeke: We have to be available whenever Santa wants us.

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Nakhon: Do the reindeer have paid holidays? Their work is also seasonal.

Sylvester: That’s different. They don’t get Christmas off.

Zeke: No, but they are paid for New Year’s Day and Easter. And they get paid vacations.

Nakhon: Would these holidays interfere with the service Santa requires?

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Sylvester: The Winter Solstice is during our busy season.

Zeke: We can do without that, this time.

Nakhon: I think that’s everything. Do we have an agreement?

Zeke: I have to let the members vote on it, but I think it’s an agreement.

Sylvester: We agree.

Santa: Wonderful! Now let’s get back to work. It’s almost Christmas.

About 1 — YAK VANS

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

9

Christmas Toy Delivery – The Yaks’ Perspective – Part 2

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Large hairy yak carrying load close up, 2023

Where we are: The yaks who are part of the Beasts of Burden (BoB) union are currently working without a contract.They are the key to Santa’s logistical network doing the behind-the-scenes present delivery to Santa’s depots all over the world. The reindeer “last-mile” delivery on Christmas Eve is only possible because of the yaks’ hard work. The yaks are never mentioned because Santa feels it would take away some of the magic from Christmas. You can read about it here.

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The yaks’ contract with North Pole management expired in the middle of September. They have been working hard since then without a contract. The yaks are asking for more money in the form of a per-mile bonus, shelters and food in some of the more remote areas, and six paid holidays. Currently the yaks are paid an hourly rate with no other benefits.

Santa is getting nervous. He sets up a meeting with Herman Hoover, his accountant.

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Santa; Herman, I just got a letter from Max Yak. He’s the head of the BoB. He says they’re going on strike if we don’t meet their demands for a new contract. Did you know about this?

Herman: Actually, I did. I’ve been talking with them for several weeks. Their requests are outrageous. They want us to build shelters for them if they have to deliver to the desert or the Arctic circle. That was part of the advantage in hiring yaks; they can adapt to almost any weather.

Yak | Wild Ox of Asia, Himalayas & Tibet | Britannica

Santa: They do a lot of work for us. It seems reasonable that they would need a place to rest once in awhile.

Herman: But what if someone finds out that they’re in the area on official North Pole business? It’s not as if a yak with a hundred Christmas presents is a common sight. We’re trying to get them in and out as quickly as possible. Next thing you’ll know is that they will want us to provide trains so they can travel in comfort.

Yak in a flat cap with a knapsack riding a train on Craiyon

Santa: They didn’t say anything about trains. I think that would be unreasonable. Definitely no trains.

Herman: I didn’t mean they were actually asking for trains. It was just an example of what might be next if we provide shelter.

Santa: What about this request for per-mile bonus. Don’t we already pay them for their travel.

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Herman: We pay them a decent hourly wage. They want a bonus on top of that for every 250 miles they travel in a year. The bonus would be paid at the end of the year. It’s a ridiculous request. Their entire job is to travel; why would we pay them extra for doing the job they were hired to do?

Santa: Do we give the reindeer a holiday bonus?

Herman: That’s different. They travel the entire globe over a 24-hour period.

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Santa: What holidays do they want to be paid for?

Herman: New Years Day, Lunar New Years Day, Nepalese New Year, Summer Solstice, Winter Solstice, and Christmas.

Santa: They want three new years every year? Why would they want the Nepalese New Year off?

Herman: Yak Express is headquartered in Nepal.

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Santa: It’s getting close to Christmas. We need to make sure the presents can all be delivered.

Herman: Don’t worry, the yaks won’t cancel Christmas. We’ve been working with them for years. They always get a little touchy when the contract needs to be renewed, but they sign in the end.

Santa: I’m not sure. I don’t remember it ever running into December before.

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Santa’s phone rings and he picks it up. He ends the call with “Yes, I understand.”

Herman: What was that about?

Santa: That was Max Yak. If we don’t settle the contract by December 15, they’re going to strike.

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Herman: They should have most of the presents delivered by then. The reindeer will have to pick up the slack.

Santa: He also said they would tell everyone how Christmas delivery actually works.We need to fix this, Herman. I want to get the yaks and your team in a room and not leave until this thing is settled.

Every Negotiation is a Different Animal.

Next week: WIll negotiations work to save the magic of Christmas?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

16

Christmas Toy Delivery – The Yaks’ Perspective

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Zafir Yak was sitting in the employee lounge of Beasts of Burden (BOB) Local 687, a part of Yak Express. He was watching the news on the television when a story about Santa’s reindeer came on.

Reporter: Tell us about what’s going on in Santa’s Workshop this time of year.

Comet: It’s the busiest part of the year for us. Santa’s getting requests from children all around the world. He has to make sure that all of the good boys and girls get what they want.

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Reporter: Does he have a system to keep it all straight? That’s a lot of toys.

Dancer: Computers have really helped him keep things organized. He has up-to-the-minute access to which toys are most popular. Elves are working around the clock to make sure everyone gets what they asked for.

Reporter: What are the reindeer doing right now?

Dasher: We are doing training runs. We have to be perfect by Christmas Eve.

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Reporter: It is amazing that eight reindeer can carry all of those toys. How do you build up the stamina for that? After all, it’s the only day of the year you actually work. How do you make sure you’re at peak performance?

Comet: It’s the only day the humans see us. We’re working all year. The eight of us are professionals. We are in peak shape all of the time. Christmas Eve is the day of the hard work pays off. We deliver millions of toys on one night. And we have to make sure that they are all in the right pace. It’s a lot of work to be one of Santa’s reindeer. We are an elite unit.

A large furry yak is lying in the snow The yak has its mouth wide open and is laughing | Premium AI-generated image

Zafir’s friend Sandy starts laughing.

Sandy: Can you believe that goofball? Acting like they are the only ones ensuring that every child gets their toy.

Zafir: They already talked about Santa and the elves.

Sandy: But they haven’t said a word about the Yaks’.

Zafir: They may not have gotten to us yet.

Mitchell: They never get to us.

A group of yaks standing together | Premium AI-generated image

Sandy: He’s right. We’re supposed to be a secret. We’re part of the “magic.”

Benji: But that’s going to change this year. Pretty soon everyone will know who we are.

Zafir: What’s happening this year?

Benji: Beasts of Burden has a contract with the North Pole. It lists all of the jobs we are responsible for. It also says how much we get paid and what other benefits we get. Like vacation and sick time.

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Leopold: Someone got a hold of the reindeer contract. They get two months vacation and unlimited sick time each year. They also have private gyms and on-site cafeterias.

Benji: Our contract was up a couple of months ago. We’re working without a contract right now. But that isn’t going to last until Christmas.

Leopold: Our President, Max Yak, has sent a letter to the North Pole. He has told them that either they agree to some of our demands, or he will tell everyone just how involved Yaks’ are with Christmas.

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Zafir: You mean like how we’re the ones who take the toys to depots around the world where the reindeer can pick them up for local delivery?

Sandy: And the reason Santa is so fast is that he doesn’t actually carry the toys in his sleigh?

Benji: And a few more of Santa’s logistical shortcuts.

Zafir: But then it won’t seem so magical.

Benji: Even worse, if we don’t get a living wage, we’re gonna go on strike. Those reindeer can find out exactly how much work we do for them.

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Next week: Will the yaks strike?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images