12

Trouble in Cheeseladnd – Part 2

Where we are: Cheeseland’s City Manager, Clayborn Coyote, has been accused of favoritism in awarding city contracts. The scandal is threatening to bring down Mayor Pauly Porcine’s government. Every day since Angel Katt broke the story on Action 7 News, residents have been picketing City Hall. City Council President Gayle Gorilla has called an emergency meeting with Mayor Pauly, his Chief-of-Staff Henrietta Hare, Clayborn, and the full City Council.

Gayle: Mr Mayor, how to do plan to handle this scandal?

Pauly: What scandal? Clayborn had some work to get down and he found animals he trusted to get it done.

Sheila Skunk: But they didn’t do it right.

Clayborn: Every job was completed on time and under budget.

Oscar Owl: I’ve been looking over the invoices for the pool work. I don’t see where there was a budget established prior to the start of the project.

Clayborn: I’ve known that guy for most of my life. I trusted his estimates would be appropriate.

Oscar: That’s not how government contracting works. You need to get competing bids. You’re working with other people’s money.

Pauly: I checked the numbers. He didn’t charge more than he said he would. And he finished early.

Harry Hedgehog: That’s great. Except he poisoned the water. Several young animals had a reaction to the chlorine in the water.

Clayborn: That was unfortunate. I didn’t realize that Larry usually worked with humans. They love that stuff in their pools.

Pauly: So what, exactly, is the point of this meeting? I’m a busy pig. I’m sure this will be forgotten in a few weeks.

Gayle: I’m afraid not, Mr Mayor. A few of the residents started a petition after our last meeting. They have enough signatures to hold a recall vote.

Pauly: They want to recall Clayborn? I didn’t realize that was possible,

Gayle: It’s not. He’s not an elected official.

Pauly looked at her, puzzled. Then he looked horrified.

Pauly: You don’t mean…

Gayle: I’m afraid so, sir. They are holding you responsible for your employee’s actions

Pauly: That’s ridiculous. I didn’t do anything wrong. No one has accused me of anything.

Gayle: They entrusted you with their city and don’t think you’re taking good care of it.

Pauly: Because a few kids got red eyes? We took care of the issue once it was brought to our attention.

Gayle: They don’t trust the city’s computer system anymore. Animals are refusing to pay their utility bills because they were being overcharged for everything.

Clayborn: That was a simple compilation error. Everything is fine now.

Gene Woodchuck: But. they. don’t. trust. the. data.

Clayborn: It will be fine in a couple of billing cycles.

Gene: The citizens don’t believe you. They want a new government.

Henrietta: What if Pauly fired Clayborn? Would that help?

Pauly: Why would I fire Clayborn?

Gayle: He broke the law.

Pauly looked around the room at the Council members. They were all nodding. Then he looked at Clayborn. Clayborn shrugged.

Pauly: I guess you gotta go, buddy. This is more serious than I realized.

Clayborn: No worries. I’ve got plenty of options.

Gayle called Security to escort Clayborn out of the building.

Pauly: So now we’re set, right? I can move on to more important things?

Gayle: I’m not sure what could be more important. Your constituents want you removed from office.

Pauly: Not now that I’ve fired Clayborn. He was the real problem.

Gayle: So you won’t consider resigning?

Pauly: Why would I resign? I took care of the problem.

Meanwhile, Clayborn was on the steps of City Hall, giving his version of what happened in the meeting.

Angel Katt: Clayborn, can you tell us what’s going on in the meeting?

Clayborn: The Mayor needed a scapegoat for everything that’s wrong with his Administration. Now I’m out of a job.

Angel: You were responsible for the no-bid contracts, weren’t you?

Clayborn: The Mayor hired me to get things done. And I got things done. That’s all I have to say.

Angel: Thank you for your time.

Next week: Has Pauly done enough to keep his job?

Pictures generated by Gemini AI.

9

Christmas Toy Delivery – The Yaks’ Perspective – Part 2

Large hairy yak carrying load close up, 2023

Where we are: The yaks who are part of the Beasts of Burden (BoB) union are currently working without a contract.They are the key to Santa’s logistical network doing the behind-the-scenes present delivery to Santa’s depots all over the world. The reindeer “last-mile” delivery on Christmas Eve is only possible because of the yaks’ hard work. The yaks are never mentioned because Santa feels it would take away some of the magic from Christmas. You can read about it here.

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The yaks’ contract with North Pole management expired in the middle of September. They have been working hard since then without a contract. The yaks are asking for more money in the form of a per-mile bonus, shelters and food in some of the more remote areas, and six paid holidays. Currently the yaks are paid an hourly rate with no other benefits.

Santa is getting nervous. He sets up a meeting with Herman Hoover, his accountant.

Dog accountant Pets with jobs | Premium AI-generated image

Santa; Herman, I just got a letter from Max Yak. He’s the head of the BoB. He says they’re going on strike if we don’t meet their demands for a new contract. Did you know about this?

Herman: Actually, I did. I’ve been talking with them for several weeks. Their requests are outrageous. They want us to build shelters for them if they have to deliver to the desert or the Arctic circle. That was part of the advantage in hiring yaks; they can adapt to almost any weather.

Yak | Wild Ox of Asia, Himalayas & Tibet | Britannica

Santa: They do a lot of work for us. It seems reasonable that they would need a place to rest once in awhile.

Herman: But what if someone finds out that they’re in the area on official North Pole business? It’s not as if a yak with a hundred Christmas presents is a common sight. We’re trying to get them in and out as quickly as possible. Next thing you’ll know is that they will want us to provide trains so they can travel in comfort.

Yak in a flat cap with a knapsack riding a train on Craiyon

Santa: They didn’t say anything about trains. I think that would be unreasonable. Definitely no trains.

Herman: I didn’t mean they were actually asking for trains. It was just an example of what might be next if we provide shelter.

Santa: What about this request for per-mile bonus. Don’t we already pay them for their travel.

Yak walking on footbridge amidst mountains at Sagarmatha National Park  stock photo

Herman: We pay them a decent hourly wage. They want a bonus on top of that for every 250 miles they travel in a year. The bonus would be paid at the end of the year. It’s a ridiculous request. Their entire job is to travel; why would we pay them extra for doing the job they were hired to do?

Santa: Do we give the reindeer a holiday bonus?

Herman: That’s different. They travel the entire globe over a 24-hour period.

The Meaning of Lunar New Year, Also Known As Chinese New Year

Santa: What holidays do they want to be paid for?

Herman: New Years Day, Lunar New Years Day, Nepalese New Year, Summer Solstice, Winter Solstice, and Christmas.

Santa: They want three new years every year? Why would they want the Nepalese New Year off?

Herman: Yak Express is headquartered in Nepal.

Diamond Painting - Full Round - Christmas Yak(30*30cm)

Santa: It’s getting close to Christmas. We need to make sure the presents can all be delivered.

Herman: Don’t worry, the yaks won’t cancel Christmas. We’ve been working with them for years. They always get a little touchy when the contract needs to be renewed, but they sign in the end.

Santa: I’m not sure. I don’t remember it ever running into December before.

Yaks: The Eco-friendly Giants - A Sustainable Alternative in a Warming World

Santa’s phone rings and he picks it up. He ends the call with “Yes, I understand.”

Herman: What was that about?

Santa: That was Max Yak. If we don’t settle the contract by December 15, they’re going to strike.

How reindeer evolved to be Santa's perfect helper | BBC Earth

Herman: They should have most of the presents delivered by then. The reindeer will have to pick up the slack.

Santa: He also said they would tell everyone how Christmas delivery actually works.We need to fix this, Herman. I want to get the yaks and your team in a room and not leave until this thing is settled.

Every Negotiation is a Different Animal.

Next week: WIll negotiations work to save the magic of Christmas?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.