13

Snoops and Kommando in the Kitchen

Here we are again. Your favorite felines from Cheeseland. Why are we interrupting the lame story about Cat TV? Mom has a concussion from where she fell on the sidewalk. (She is so clumsy. She would be the world’s worst cat.) Her brain is a little slower than usual, so we’re here to fill the gap.

Image result for cat with a cold meme

We have come up with some recipes to make her feel better. You are free to try them yourselves and let us know what you think.

Image result for cat with drink

Protein Smoothie

3 mice, preferable without tails1

1 cup cream

½ cup cat grass2

Ice cubes to make it smooth

Put in earplugs. Blend until it is liquidy and a nice brownish-green color

1 If you do not have mice, substitute any fish.

2 Any green will do. The recipe book said that greens make smoothies healthier, and cat grass sounded good to us.

Image result for cat with fish in mouth

Tuna Melt

1 slice bread1

1 can tuna

1 slice cheese1

1 Only necessary if you are actually going to melt the tuna.

We recommend that you get out the ingredients, then give the cheese to the mice to fatten them up for the smoothie. You can take the bread outside. It will attract birds for Cat TV. Eat the tuna to show how delicious this treat is.

Image result for cat with soup meme

Chicken Soup

2 cups chicken broth1

1 cup shredded chicken2

Vegetables3

Noodles3

1You can buy broth at the store. You don’t need to squeeze a chicken

2Remember to only use canned or from the refrigerator. Raw chicken can make you sick.

3It doesn’t matter what kind or how many. Most cats don’t like vegetables or noodles.

You stir all this stuff together. Put it in the microwave until it starts to bubble over. (Be sure not to let it heat too long. You’ll lose too much broth.) Put it through a strainer over a bowl.

Put the bowl next to the strainer. Pick out the chicken and put it in the bowl with the broth. Take the strainer outside and empty it. The vegetables will attract animals for Cat TV.

Image result for cat rejection meme

Potatoes au Gratin

(Toss) Don’t know how that got in here. Who eats potatoes?

Caesar Salad

Eeew. Isn’t that the guy our human brother keeps reading about? (Toss)

Pickled Pig’s Feet

Blech. We hate pickles and who wants to eat the part of the pig he’s been walking around on? Do you know where they live? (Toss)

Image result for cat meatloaf

Meat Loaf

1 pound meat1

1 onion

1 egg

1 cup bread crumbs

Salsa or barbecue sauce

Salt and pepper

1It doesn’t say what kind of meat, but since it’s supposed to be in a loaf, we recommend something small, like mice.

Put the meat in a loaf pan. Like the ones Mom uses for banana nut bread. Put it in the oven and cook it. Put the other ingredients in the refrigerator. Some human will eat it eventually.

We hope you will enjoy these recipes.

Purrs, Snoops and Kommando Kitty

 

Pictures courtesy of Google Images (except us)

 

 

Advertisements
5

Cat TV

Image result for cats and tv

 

Josie and Kenny Kitty came home from school, said hello to their mother, and turned on the TV. Everything was fine until the screen went blank, then said “searching for signal.”

Josie: Mom! The TV lost its signal again.

Kenny: That’s the fourth time this week.

Mom: Well, you’ll just have to wait for it to come back on.

Josie: But it’s our favorite show, “Tom Kat, Secret Agent.” Tom had just figured out who stole the catnip, but we didn’t know yet.

Mom: I’m sorry, honey. I can’t do anything about it.

Image result for two sleeping cats

They waited for a few minutes, then turned off the TV. About an hour later, their father came in.

Kenny: Dad, the TV’s out again.

Dad: This is ridiculous. It seems like we don’t have TV half the time. I’m going to call the service people.

He calls the cable company and is put on hold. The longer he waits, the more irritated he gets. Finally, he gets through and explains the problem. He listens for a few minutes and hangs up.

Josie: What did they say, Dad?

Dad: They can’t tell us anything unless they send out a technician to check it out.

Josie: OK, what time will they be here?

Dad: Thursday, between noon and five.

Kenny: Thursday? But it’s only Monday. What are we supposed to do until then?

Image result for bored cat meme

Dad: Find something else to do.

Kenny: But I need the TV for my homework.

Mom: You’ll just have to tell your teacher that our TV isn’t working. Or go over to Henry’s and watch it with him.

Dad: What kind of homework did she assign that needs the TV?

Kenny: We’re supposed to write a report about the French Revolution, and “A Tale of Two Kitties” is on Mouseterpiece Theater tonight.

His mother started to laugh.

Kenny: What’s so funny. That’s about the French Revolution.

Mom: It’s not a true story. I think she meant that you are supposed to read something. A book or something I find you on the Internet.

Image result for cat with book

Kenny: Oh. Well I guess I don’t need the TV for that after all.

Mom: I guess not.

Josie: But we still need something to do.

Dad: You could read. Or go for a walk. Or clean your rooms.

Josie: I meant about TV. We’ll be the only ones at school who don’t know what’s happening on “Dr. John, Veterinarian to the Stars.” And “Susie Squirrel: High School Hero.”

Image result for kittens playing

Mom: I think you’ll survive. You two watch too much TV. When your Dad and I were your age, we ran around, and climbed trees and had a lot of fun.

Dad (joking): I don’t know. That sounds pretty important.

Mom: Then go to someone’s house and watch it.

Kenny: That would be lame.

Mom: Why?

Image result for cats playing video games

Kenny: Their TV’s are all old. We have the only one where it looks like the mice are right in the living room when you play games.

Mom: Well, I guess you’re stuck.

Josie: It’s OK, I guess. We can stick around and keep you company Mom.

Kenny: Yeah! You can play games with us and teach us how to cook and stuff.

Mom: Maybe I should help you find something to do.

Image result for cats cooking meme

What should two bored kittens do to entertain themselves when the TV goes out?

All pictures courtesy of Google Images

 

4

Cat Forum: Party Treats

Kommando: Did we tell them that our human sister is getting married in October?

Snoops: I think so.

Kommando: Did we tell them that we’re going to help?

Snoops: I don’t remember.

Kommando: Let’s tell them what we’re gonna do.

Image result for cats and presents meme

Snoops: What are we going to do? You mean the present?

Kommando: Of course not. She might read this and it would ruin the surprise.

Snoops: It’s a good thing she doesn’t live here. It’s hard to keep that sort of thing secret.

Image result for cats and showers

Kommando: No. We’re going to help with the food at her party before the wedding.

Snoops: You mean that thing they call a shower, even though there’s no water?

Kommando: Yeah. Humans are weird, but I wasn’t going to help if there was real water.

Snoops: Did you find any good recipes?

Kommando: I thought so. There were all kinds of things called mousses. I thought it was a typo for mouses. It’s not. People make mousses out of all kinds of stuff. Most of it’s pretty disgusting.

Image result for cats and food meme

Snoops: That’s like when we found out that tomato goat cheese spread was tomato goat-cheese spread, not tomato goat cheese-spread. I was pretty disappointed. I thought all I was going to have to do was pick the tomatoes off the goat.

Kommando: There is not a single recipe out there with mouse as the main ingredient. And very little tuna. There is some salmon.

Snoops: Well, maybe we could try the tuna ones.

Kommando: I don’t think so. They mix it with stuff like mustard and lemon juice. One of them even said to use chickpeas.

Snoops: I don’t know what a chickpea is, but it must be some kind of vegetable. Peas are those little rounds things we can chase around.

Image result for cats and cheese

Kommando: That’s the other thing. Humans put vegetables into almost all of their party foods.

Snoops: I guess that’s to make them feel better about the cake.

Kommando: They even ruin cheese with nuts and beer and wine and stuff.

Snoops: EWWWW. Maybe this is going to be harder than we thought.

Image result for mouse pizza

Kommando: I had an idea. You know how much humans like pizza?

Snoops: Yeah. But they don’t sell mouse pizza.

Kommando: I know that. But we get cheese pizza and put the mice on ourselves.

Snoops: That might work. And cold catnip tea. It will be purr-fect.

 

Pictures courtesy of Google Images (except us of course – tell Mom we want some pictures that don’t make us look like we sleep all the time, but not when we’re eating or bathing or using the litter box – maybe while we’re on bird patrol or mouse patrol)

9

Tori Tabby’s Getting Married – Part 3

Image result for two tabby cats

Where we are: Tori Tabby and Robbie are getting married. Tori’s father Davy is living with some humans who have adopted him. She wants him at the wedding, and he has said that he would be there. He is relying on his housemates, Cleo and Caesar, to hide his temporary absence from his human family so they won’t track him down. 

The big day has arrived. Tori is nervous. She told her mother Teresa that Davy was coming, but there was no sign of him.She wonders if the Persians really could find a way to get him out of the house without his humans finding out.

Meanwhile, at Davy’s house, the Persians have hatched a plan.

Image result for cat with toy meme

Cleo: OK, Davy. Here’s what we’re going to do. We’re all going to go outside. Then Caesar is going to pretend to catch a squirrel and bring it to the door. Human mama is going to get upset that Caesar has a squirrel. She’ll be so preoccupied that you can get away. I’m going to run back inside while all this is going on.

Davy: That’s disgusting. I don’t want Caesar to kill a squirrel for me.

Caesar: I’m not going to kill a squirrel. That’s the genius part of the plan. Look at the new toy I got.

He shows Davy a realistic-looking squirrel toy. It barely fit in his mouth. Then he drops it.

Image result for cat with toy

Caesar: Pretty good, huh?

Davy: Not bad. But how is that going to help while I’m gone?

Cleo: We thought about that. You know how sometimes we play hide-and-seek with the humans? And it takes them a really long time to find us? We’re going to race around a little, and then go into hiding. When you get home, you cry at the door. Human mama finds you outside and thinks you’ve been running around all that time and finally come back. She’ll feel bad because she didn’t make sure you were with us. But she’ll be so happy to see you that it won’t last long.

Davy: That might work.

Image result for cats crying at door

They cry at the door to be let out. The boy human lets them out. He doesn’t pay any attention to Caesar’s squirrel toy. The cats play for a few minutes. Then Caesar picks up his squirrel and runs to the door. He meows loudly. His human mama opens the door and looks down. She’s very upset.

Woman: Caesar! That’s a very bad kitty! You know you’re not allowed to kill.

She reaches down to take the squirrel and see if she can revive it. Caesar moves back and growls to protect his prize.

Woman: Caesar what is wrong with you? Let me have the squirrel.

Impressed by Caesar’s acting, the other two cats almost forget to run in opposite directions. All the woman notices is something furry running past her. Finally she reaches down to rescue the squirrel and discovers that it’s only Caesar’s new toy. She is irritated but relieved.

Image result for cat with toy meme

Woman: Caesar! Why did you scare me like that? Don’t do that!

Caesar walks slowly past her with his prize. She looks around the yard and doesn’t see any cats so she assumes they were what raced past her while she was preoccupied with Caesar. She closes the door and sits down to read, happy that the drama has ended. 

Meanwhile, Davy is racing to Tori’s house.

Tori: Daddy! You made it! I can’t believe you got away.

Davy: Those Persians are pretty amazing.

Image result for cats hissing

Teresa walks up and sees Davy. She’s surprised he would actually show up. She tries to be civil for Tori’s sake.

Teresa: Davy! I didn’t believe you’d actually show up.

Davy: I needed the help of my fellow cats. But here I am. You look really good Teresa. I’ve missed you.

Teresa: Thank you. But you’re the one who ran off.

Davy explains what actually happened. Teresa looks skeptical but decides not to fight on Tori’s wedding day.

Image result for cats sitting chairs

Teresa: Whatever. It’s almost time for the wedding. Find a seat.

That didn’t go as smoothly as he had hoped. But he didn’t blame Teresa. He had just disappeared. He understood that she would be hurt and angry. He heard music and quickly sat down.

The wedding was beautiful. Tori looked amazing and Robbie was a picture-perfect groom.The food was wonderful but before he knew it, it was time to to go. He was nervous on the way home. He stood at the door and cried. Before long, the female human opened the door.

Woman: Davy! Where have you been? I didn’t even know you were missing. I’m so glad to see you.

She picked Davy up and cuddled him. He was home.

Image result for cats crying at door

 

 

7

Tori Tabby’s Getting Married Part 2

Image result for 2 persian cats

Where we left off. Tori’s boyfriend Robbie has asked her to marry him. She wants to invite her father. He lives with two Persian cats. She goes to his house to invite him, and the Persians are not happy. Tori is frightened and hides behind her father. She tries not to run. The female human hears the hissing and comes outside.

Woman: Caesar! Cleopatra! What are you doing?

She sees Tori.

Woman: Are you hissing at that poor little kitty? She’s hiding behind Davy. Shame on you. Get in the house.

Image result for frightened cat

The Persians slink into the house.

Woman: Hello little kitty. Aren’t you cute. Are you a friend of Davy’s?

Tori is too frightened to say anything. First the Persians, now this woman who had stolen her daddy. She didn’t say anything.

Woman: You look frightened you poor little thing. Those other kitties really scared you, didn’t they? Is she a friend of yours, Davy?

Davy: Mrrow. Mrrow.

Image result for cats nuzzling

He nuzzled Tori and rubbed against her. He was purring.

Woman: Okay, Davy. You can play with her. But don’t run away with her. You know you live here.

Davy: Mrrow. Mrrow.

The woman went back into the house.

Davy: Are you okay? Cleo and Caesar are all right. They just don’t really like strange cats.

Tori (crying): Daddy, why did you leave us to live here? Aren’t we good enough for you?

Image result for contented cat

Davy: Of course you’re good enough. Cleo really liked me, and the lady thought I would be a good companion for her. She didn’t know I had a family. The food is really good, and I have a nice, soft bed to sleep in. I couldn’t go outside for a while, and I got used to it. It doesn’t have anything to do with you, sweetie. Besides, the humans really like me. I think they have adopted me. They would go looking for me. I really don’t want to be on the run.

Tori: I guess I understand. But you’re still my daddy, right?

Davy: Of course I am.

Tori: And what about Mama?

Image result for 2 cats

Davy: Well, that’s a little harder. Since I can’t live with her, she should probably find another cat if she wants companionship.Did she send you over here?

Tori: No, Daddy. I came over on my own. I’m getting married, and I want you to come to the wedding.

Davy: My little girl’s getting married! Who’s the lucky cat.

Tori: It’s Robbie, Daddy. He lives down the street from us.

Davy: I remember him. He’s a nice fellow. I’m very happy for you both.

Image result for cat wedding

Tori: So you’ll come to the wedding?

Davy: Where is it at?

Tori: Our house. It isn’t very far.

Davy: Okay, I’ll be there. I’ll ask Cleo and Caesar. Like I said, they are actually very nice. So how is your mother? I’d really like to see her and reassure her that it was nothing personal.

Tori: She’s doing well. I think she’d like to see you too.

Davy goes inside and tell the Persians who Tori is, and why she came to visit. They want to go out and see her. Davy warns them that Tori is afraid of them, and may be a little standoffish. They go outside, and Tori starts to back away..

Image result for frightened cat

Cleo: It’s okay, Tori. We won’t hurt you. Your daddy told us who you are. We’re pleased to meet you. Tori looked at Davy.

Davy: She means it, sweetie.

Tori (slowly): I’m pleased to meet you too.

Caesar: Davy told us that he wants to go to the wedding. We’ll figure out a way to keep our human mama from chasing after him.

Image result for persian cat

Tori: Oh! Thank you very much! That’s very kind of you.

Caesar: We’re pleased to do it. And we’d like to congratulate you and wish you well on your wedding and life together.

Tori purred and nuzzled each of them. They welcomed her.

Tori: I’d better get going. Mama will wonder if I got lost.

With one last nuzzle for her father, she was on her way. She was very happy and ran all the way home.

Image result for 4 cats

Next week: The wedding.

 

Pictures courtesy of Google Images.

 

 

 

 

 

10

Tori Tabby’s Getting Married

Image result for cat wedding

Tori Tabby came running in the door.

Tori: Mama! Mama! Guess what!

Mama: What? What’s all the excitement?

Image result for two tabby cats

Tori: Robbie asked me to marry him. He says he wants to settle down and have a family.

Mama: Oh, Tori! I’m so happy for you. He was always such a good kitten. I’m glad to see that he’s turned into a fine young cat.

Tori: He is so sweet, Mama. I’m so excited.

Mama: Do you want a big wedding, sweetie?

Image result for cat wedding party

Tori: Not really. Just our families and a few friends. Do you think Daddy will come?

Mama Tabby hesitated before she answered. She hadn’t really spoken with Tori’s father much recently.

Mama: I don’t know, sweetie. Why don’t you ask him?

Tori: I don’t want him to say no. What if I ask him and he says no? It would ruin the whole thing.

Mama: Why would he say no?

Image result for persian cat

Tori: I don’t know. He hasn’t been the same since he started hanging around with those snooty Persian kitties. He thinks he’s better than we are.

Mama: He doesn’t think he’s better than you are, Sweetie. He’s just busy. After all, he does have a new family.

Tori: But they’re mostly humans, Mama! He doesn’t have any new kittens.

Mama: Yes, but you know how humans are. Once you adopt a family of them, they never want to let you out of their sight.

Tori: But he’s not even a Persian! All the other cats are pure-bred.

Image result for cats playing

Mama: Sweetie, you know what happened. Your father saw Princess playing in the yard and went in to play with her. The humans started feeding him, and before we knew what was happening, the humans decided that he and Princess were so cute together that they needed to be in the same family.

Tori: He could have left.

Mama: Just because he’s happy there, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. Go ahead and call him.

Tori: Maybe I should ask Robbie to talk to him.

Mama: If you want him to see you get married, you need to talk to him.

Tori decided that her mother was right. She went to visit her father the next day. When she approached the house, she saw a young human playing in front. Tori went up to him and started explaining her story. The boy looked extremely confused.

Image result for cat talking

Boy: You’re a beautiful little kitty, but I don’t know what you want. Are you hungry? I can get you something to eat.

Tori tried talking slower and more loudly. So the boy reached down and started petting her. She rubbed against him, hoping that he would start to understand.

Attracted by the loud sounds of a cat, a group of three cats came to the front of the house. There were two Persians and a handsome mixed breed named Davy. He looked closely at the visitor.

Davy: Tori! Is that you?

Tori: Daddy! How are you?

The father and daughter ran together and started to nuzzle. The two Persians were not impressed and began to hiss.

Image result for cats nuzzling

Next week: Will Tori and the Persians become friends?

Pictures courtesy of Google Images

18

Snoops and Kommando Redecorating

Greetings from Snoops and Kommando Kitty. Yep. Mom let us have the blog again this week. We’re pretty excited. She’s talking about redecorating two of the bedrooms. Dad had a lot of stuff he needed when he was sick that she got rid of, so there’s empty space in her room. Additionally, we have extra room in the library/human sister’s old bedroom.

Redwood

kittymansions.com

Mom thinks she might put a cat tree or something in her room. Maybe a window seat. Wonder if she’d get two? We could get one for the east window and one for the south window. Or two for the south; it’s a double window. We could compare notes. The birds are all on the south side. Do they make double-deck window seats?

Hopefully, she doesn’t think that will keep us from sleeping on her. We should check on that. She wouldn’t be that dumb, would she? She loves sleeping with us. We’d probably have to promise not to jump on her from the tree. That would be fun though.

Image result for cat on bed

She was buying a dress on the computer, so we thought we’d look for some new furniture. Hope she doesn’t mind that we added her to all those mailing lists.

Image result for cat on computer

I wonder if she’d consider moving her furniture to the library. Except the bed. We could have the bed and cat stuff. It would be perfect.

Buckingham Palace

kittymansions.com

Ooooh. The library window is right above the roof for the sun room, and that’s flat. Maybe we can talk her into a penthouse catio. She could do her writing and drawing and stuff in there. We better get back on the computer.

Image result for catio